SoccerNoob.com is now your exclusive home for Isle of Sodor Premier League. Second annual 2019 FA Cup coverage starts soon, too.
Until then, let’s relive the site’s halcyon days! Noob’s former format covered soccer leagues around the world with the ’10 to Tracks’. Sandwiches were review(oob)’ed! Noobstadamus gave you looks inside his crazy visions leading to his incredible football prognostications.
And I interviewed second division coaches from around America. Particularly the NASL as it started what seems to be its final demise. Not that we didn’t try to save that league! Here, Noob brought together a cavalcade of former and still-stars of music, coaches and others interviewed, to tell the NASL’s tale in song. *magic time travel dust*…
Lionel Richie: There comes a time when we heed a certain call
When D-2 must come together as one.
Paul Simon: A tier-two league is dying
And it’s time to lend a hand to NASL
Paul, Kenny Rogers: A soccer gift for all
Noob: Noob can’t go on pretending day by day
That somehow, some way it’s gonna get saved
Tina Turner: We’re all a part of D-2’s big family
Billy Joel: And the truth, you know,
Noob, Tina, Billy: Is this is all we neeeeeeeed
Choir: We are D-2. We are the coaches
We are the fans, the concerned parties
So let’s keep singing
Diana Ross: It’s a choice we’re making
It’s not just USL
Diana Ross and NASL federal case judge Margo K. Brodie: It takes both leagues to make a better day
Just wait and seeeeeee!
Puerto Rico FC head coach Marco Velez: Thought Noob was my tio, but now I call him Noober
And our lives together are stronger and free
Willie Nelson: As we have shown you, by calling him “asshat”
Willie and Marco Velez: We’re strong. And nothing can defeat us now!
(background: Cyndi Lauper – “but Miami FCeeeeeeee!)
Edmonton FC head coach Colin Miller: Called him the C-word – in Scottish Gaelic
But he mailed me booze, 30 years old
Turns out Noob’s no dick!
(background: Noob:“Could we find a way to rephrase that please?)
New York Cosmos owner Rocco Commisso: D-2 status be damned
Noob agrees with me
It’s true we should just care
About qualiteeee!
L.A. Galaxy asst. coach Dominic Kinnear: When you’re down and out, there seems no hope at all
Huey Lewis: But if you just believe there’s no way we can fall
Cyndi Lauper: Well, well, well! Let’s realize that a change can only come
Huey, Cyndi, Kim Carnes, and OKC Energy ‘Grid’ fan club prez Joseph Pugh: When we stand together as one!
(Joseph Pugh cont.: “WOOO!! Do it, Nooner!)
Choir: They went dark-arts, went Santeria
Burned rabbit bones and burned Pele’s jock
To save our leaaaaague!
Incoming USL club owner Bobby Jones: Noob hates my teams’ name – boring Austin FC.
Jacksonville Armada owner Robert Palmer: At least he didn’t think you were a reincarnated pop-rock arteeeeest.
(key change!)
Choir: We are the fans, the concerned parties
So let’s keep singing
It’s a choice we’re making
It’s not just USL.
It takes both leagues to make a better day
Just wait and seeeeeee!
[To relive the interviews referenced in this musical masterpiece, visit the Interview D-Tuesday link under Categories]
