Category: 10 to Track

The biggest soccer weekend in the U.S. is here!   The MLS Cup Final is today at 4:00 PM ET (ESPN).  But that’s just one of the ten most important games for us, the newish American soccer fans, to be keenly aware of today.

Noob’s ready to span the globe, like a pair of pre-distressed size 18 bazillion-waist bluejeans.

1. Toronto FC vs. Seattle Sounders – MLS Cup Final

The earth will shake over the glory and awe that is a rematch of last year’s MLS Cup Final!  Toronto hosted last year, but lost 4-5  in a penalty shootout following a 0-0 game

Toronto won the Western Conference regular season, the far tougher of MLS’ two.  The Sounders finished 2^nd in the East.  Despite the tougher schedule, Toronto’s goal differential is nearly 3x that of Seattle’s.

Tenured Noobites already know Noob roots harder against Seattle than any other Amuricuhn club.  The first hardcore soccer fan I ever met was a douchebag university T.A.  And he was a bandwagon fan-loser to boot.  So, c’mon Canadia!

RESULT:   Toronto   2-0      This one could’ve easily been 5-0 by halftime!   Toronto pressed relentlessly, and Seattle was spread way too far apart to get anything going offensively.   Thank you, Canadia!

B.  Al Jazira vs. Urawa Red Diamonds – FIFA Club World Cup

What this is:   This event features the six continental confederation champions, plus the top-flight league champion from the host country.

In the one-game opening round, host U.A.E.’s representative team beat Oceania’s Auckland City.  But all they earn is Noob’s deafening Urawa war-chant: “Gym-tan-sushi!”  (See the Vocab, Noob-style page if this is mysterious.)  Urawa’s league season is done, so they should be all-in for this tournament.

RESULT:   Al Jazira   1-0     And now team gym-tan-sushi is all out.

 

“Hi, I’m the Situation, of MTV’s former and soon-again Jersey Shore.  I show Noobites where the sushi goes!  Gym-tan-anything is my life.”

3.  Burnley vs. Watford – English Premier

7^th hosts 8^th place in this match.  Finishing in 7^th could mean a Europa league berth.  (Two English Cup tournaments’ results affect this possibility.)

Noob’s not certain Burnley’s a team you want to actually watch play.  Their games have only seen 26 goals scored.  By comparison, league #1 Manchester City have by themselves scored 46.  But watchability and Track-worthy are not the same thing.

RESULT:   Burnley   1-0      Watford slips to 9th.

4. Juventus vs. Inter Milan – Serie A, Italy

Inter Milan is how this team is most known outside Italy.  You will see them referred to by monikers such as simply “Inter” or “Internazionale” about as often.  “FC Internazionale Milano” is the full, official name.  But lots of clubs have long and longer names no one really uses.

When Noob first started paying attention to the global game, Juve’s success was as a defensive stalwart.   Now they’re the league’s offense-powerhouse.  Here they host #1 Inter.  Only two points separate them in the table.

RESULT:   0-0

 

Milano cookie as part of a “high-heeled cupcake”.

Soccer-related?  No.   Noob’s level of caring?   Sqaut.  Nummies!

5. Borussia Monchengladbach vs. Schalke 04 – German Bundesliga

Noob realizes that to folk who follow football much, one merely need say or write “Bundesliga”.  But we are Noob and Noobite, and here we also occasionally feature matches from Austria’s league of the same name.  Let’s err on this side of things.

So, is M’Gladbach’s mettle stronger than most teams’, or is their success so far all smoke and mirrors?  They’re in 4^th place somehow with a negative goal differential.  Winning close, losing big.  3^rd place-Schalke will be a severe test.  And every point’s counting here.  Only five points separate 2^nd and 9^th in the table!

RESULT:   1-1

6. Real Madrid vs. Sevilla – Spanish La Liga

This league is more officially “The Primer Division”, but “La Liga” is used more colloquially.  Noob’s usually used the former, so this this is a small change.

Real Madrid are the two-time defending UEFA Champions League winners, and won this league last year.  4^th place isn’t precisely crisis mode for them, and they haven’t lost a league match since September.  Yet here they are, tied with Sevilla in the table for the league’s final 2017-18 Champions League slot.

RESULT:   Real Madrid   5-0      Someone must’ve said something to Cristiano Ronaldo about his mom.   He ad two of the five -first half- goals.

 

Real Madrid answers your existential crisis-question with “Get to Champions League.”

Not helpful, hombres.

7. River Plate vs. Atletico Tucuman – Copa Argentina

The final!!  They’ll play this one at a neutral site- Mendoza.  Tucuman’s defense has been good throughout this event, but defending titlist River Plate have been utterly dominant.  But about a dozen games into their league season, these two are both mid-pack.  “The Millionaires” may not have an easy time hoisting the trophy today.

RESULT:   River Plate   2-1      Congrats to the FA Cup champions!

Deportivo Lara vs. Mineros de Guayana – Venezuela Primera Division

Another final!  Whichever of these two takes this Clausura (second half-season) title will play the Apertura (first half-season) winner in “The Serie Final” to decide the overall season’s champion.

Mineros won the first leg (match) of this two-legged tie (two-game series) 1-0.  Lara hosts the second match today.  These two finished 1^st and 2^nd in the Clausura regular season, so this should be the finish fans wanted.

RESULT:   Lara   1-0   With the aggregate being 1-1 after both matches, Lara went on to win a peanlty shootout for the title!

 

Tequenos – popular Venezuelan snack food. 

Mmm…white cheese filling.  That’s what fan-Noob wants.

9. Kenya vs. Zanzibar – CECAFA Cup

Forgive Noob’s repetitiveness.   The focus here will always lie heavier on the newish American fan.  The hope is that there are always fresh eyes on this humble site, so I’m erring on the side of over- and reexplaining/defining things.

CECAFA is an association of east and central African teams.   That said, not all the teams in this event will fall under that geographical umbrella.  They’ll invite whomever they feel like.   This tournament is a nine-team affair, with no bearing on other leagues or tournaments – a standalone.

They’ve played two games each.  The top two from this five-team Group and the other four-team Group will all advance to the next Round.  These two are in 1^st and 2^nd here in the Group Stage.  Zanzibar has the most goals, Kenya has allowed none.  Rock, hard place.

RESULT:   0-0

10. Japan vs. North Korea – East Asian Championship

The longer name for this one is the EAFF E-1 Football Championship.   Guy’s, Noob freelance editing price is lower than you would believe.  Let’s chop it off.

This tournament – hosted in Japan – is in its final stage, with four teams remaining.  It’s Group-style, not bracketed Knockout.  They’ll all play each other, accumulating table points.   FIFA ranks these two at #55 and #114 respectively.

Noobstradamus had a vision about this result, but he’s keeping it to himself.  No telling these days what could cause an international incident.

RESULT:   Japan   1-0

 

Safety first, Noobites.

But bet on Japan by two.  Uh oh…

TGIGF – Thank Goodness It’s Globetrotting Friday!

Daily, it is Noob’s true joy to bring to light the ten most important football games of the day.  This is from the my perspective as a newish American fan of the global game.  Fridays, things go a bit sideways, but in the best way.

The “big”, “important” leagues of the world just don’t put on a lot of matches on Friday.  This gives us the chance to Globetrot!  We may start with somewhat familiar locales, but soon we’re off on a fabulous adventure to soccer-lands less-heralded.

1. Bristol City vs. Sheffield United – EFL Championship

Noob has been referring to this as “ECL/English Championship League”.  The above seems to be the more official (non-sponsor) name.  In any case, it’s the second tier of English football.

Bristol is #3, Sheffield Utd. #4.   The top two teams at season’s end get promoted to Premier League automatically.  The next four will play a mini-tournament from which the winner will also be promoted.

This season isn’t quite halfway done, but #1 Wolverhampton has opened up a ten-point lead on these two.  They won’t be caught.  They’re each six points behind #2 Cardiff City, so this is an important match for which will be in the driver’s seat to possibly catch them.

RESULT:   Bristol City 1-2       Bristol gets a goal in the 90th minute to steal three points!   (also, Noob mislisted Bristol has the home side)

B.  Uganda vs. South Sudan – CECAFA Cup

CECAFA is a sub-continental association of Eastern and Central African clubs.   This is a stand-alone Cup tournament, meaning teams are not qualifying for other events via this one.

This first stage is the Group Stage, and the nine teams are divided into two Groups.  The top two teams from each Group will advance to the Semifinals.  It’s very early, but these two occupy the last two positions in the Group B table.  FIFA ranks them #74 and #152 respectively.

RESULT:   Uganda   5-1

3. Tonga vs. New Caledonia – Pacific Mini Games

Noob thought this was merely a friendly, but what a surprise!   The Pacific Mini Games, hosted in Vanuatu, incorporates a variety of sports that are being contested between 24 national teams.  Six are participating in the football round robin.

So far, Tonga is 0-0-2, losing by a cumulative score of 13-0.  Such is life when you’re ranked dead last by FIFA (#206).  New Caledonia has the same record, but at least they’ve scored a goal.

RESULT:   New Caledonia   2-4

 

 

Tongan flag-bearer

4. Dikhil vs. Port – Djibouti Premier

This match pits together 7^th and 3^rd place league teams.

Most of the teams in this league are in Djibouti City, but FC Dikhil is not.   It’s a three-hour bus ride between the two, yet they still play their games at the Stade de Ville in the capital.

RESULT:      Might’ve been moved to 12/16

5. Al Faisaly vs. Al Jazeera – Jordan FA Cup

Noob’s still searching for clarity on how this event is working.  These two don’t appear to be in the same Group.  In any case, these two are in 4^th and 3^rd place in the nation’s top league.

RESULT:   Al Jazeera   0-2

The hosts are known as “The Boss” and “The Blue Eagles”.

 

 

Mona was the boss.  Sorry, Tony and Al Faisaly.

6. Al Markhiya vs. Umm Salal – Qatar Stars League

There appears to be a severe gulf between the top five and bottom seven in Qatar’s top league.  Umm Salal is in 5^th, still very much in play to get one of the three possible berths for next year’s AFC Champions League.  Al Markhiya is in 10^th.

RESULT:   1-1

Al Markiya is a district in Doha, where the royal family resides.

 

 

The emir’s palace

7. GAMTEL vs. Fortune – GFA League First Division

Noob’s had trouble finding anything about the visiting side here.  GAMTEL finished in 4^th place last year.  This season is more or less just starting up.

GAMTEL, named for its corporate sponsor, plays out of Banjul, the capital.  They won the league for the first time in 2015.

RESULT:   0-0

8. AS Kigali vs. Kiyovu Sports – Rwanda Premier League

1^st vs. 3^rd place, not bad at all!

Kigali is one of three teams that calls the nation’s capital home.  The Don Cheadle-starred film Hotel Rwanda depicted the infamous genocide that took place there.

RESULT:    might’ve been cancelled, or reslated for 12/21

 

 

Underrated Nolte performance in a supporting role.

9. Transvaal vs. Leo Victor – SVB Topklasse (Suriname)

Noob’s also seen this listed as the Eerste Division.  In Dutch football, the Eerste Divisie is the second-highest league.  It’s top flight in Suriname.  Also interesting, the nation is a member of CONCACAF, not South America’s CONMEBOL.

4^th place hosts 3^rd here.  If you happen to be familiar with South Africa, of all places, then you know the namesake province for which the host team is named.  Noob’s source doesn’t cite why it was named this, but directly implies that it is generally unknown today.

RESULT:   0-0

10. Hereafyee Halab vs. Majd – Syria Premier

7^th hosts 8^th place here.  Not bad for the home team, as this is their first year in Premier.  They are one of two teams from Aleppo.  Noob wonders if they are playing home games elsewhere, given the recent conflict there.

RESULT:   Herafyee   3-2

The world is full of soooo much footyball!   “10 to Track” is Noob’s grand effort to daily winnow out the chafe, give you a quick-hit source on which are the most important games to know about.

Two days of UEFA Champions League now largely give way to Europa League action (the first eight matches here).  Teams in this one are playing their sixth and final Group Stage games.  Top two sides advance to the Knockout Stage.

And remember- the overall winner gets a free pass to stink in their leagues this season if they want.  Auto-qualification to 2018 Champions League!

1. Slavia Prague vs. FC Astana

This one’s really important to the Group, but it may be a terrible spectacle.  Slavia Prague’s in 2^nd over Kazakhstan’s Astana by a point, so they’d treat a 0-0 draw the same as a 10-0 win.  They’ve only been averaging barely over one goal per match as it is!  The Czechs will proverbially take the air out of the ball.

RESULT:   Astana 0-1      FC Astana overtakes Slavia Prague for 2nd and advances!   

You’re making the soccer ball sad!

…and kind of nightmarish.

B.  Copenhagen vs. Sheriff Tiraspol

This Group is wide open – it’s madness!   Moldovan FC Sheriff leads, but they are not yet guaranteed even a top-two finish yet.  3^rd place Copenhagen is only three points back and seemingly owns some deep tiebreaker over the Danish side if they win.

This one may be another slog to watch live.  Copenhagen doesn’t exactly light things up on offense.  FC Sheriff has only given up two goals the entire group stage, bested only FC Salzburg in a different group.

RESULT:   Copenhagen   2-0      Copenhagen pulls even with Sheriff for 2nd place and advances on tiebreaker.

Waaaait a minute.  No-knees soccer is what’s madness.

 

3. Ziln vs. Lokomotiv Moscow

Lokomotiv Moscow is the team in 2^nd between the two clubs in Number B above.   They only need a draw to advance, as they own the tiebreaker over Copenhagen.

RESULT:   Lokomotiv   0-2       L. Moscow chugs on to the Knockout Round.

4. Red Star Belgrade vs. Cologne

No one can catch 1^st place Arsenal.  The Serbian side and Cologne are tied for 2^nd.  The Germans need a win to advance, as RSB has the tiebreaker in hand with an earlier Group Stage victory over them.  But RSB might need more than a draw because…

RESULT:   Red Star Belgrade   1-0       RSB passes Cologne on the tiebreaker.  But would that be good for 2nd and advance them to the Knockout Round, or would BATE Borisov pull of the upset in London and advance over both these clubs?

5. Arsenal vs. BATE Borisov

…if 4^th place BATE Borisov pulls off the upset, they pass both those chuckleheads!

Noob.  Noober!   The last place Belarussians can’t compete with mighty Arsenal.  Why bother Tracking this one?

Because, imaginary disembodied voice-friend en mi cabeza, Arsenal’s already wrapped up 1^st in this Group.  If you don’t think the Gunners might not be starting some combination of P.R. guys and towel boys in order to save their starters for Premier League play, you’re loco en SU…mi?…cabeza.

RESULT:   Arsenal   6-0       In a word, no.  Wow.

 

League tier-97 FC Metro Home Improvements players will get some surprising callups this week.

6. Marseille vs. Red Bull Salzburg

Salzburg has already won this Group.  2^nd place-Marseille only needs a draw today to advance over Konyaspor.   Noobstradamus’ unrivaled prognostication skills are not needed to say this one end 0-0.

RESULT:   0-0       In your….er, my? face!    Marseille survives to the next round.

 

I’m unneeded??

Just for that, Noobstradamus is picking Marseille 14-1.

7. Vitoria de Guimaraes vs. Konyaspor

But Noob’s still Tracking the Turks!   Because footyball be crazy sometimes.   Maybe Marseille insulted Salzburg this week, gave them some bulletin board material that will make them give a darn.  And you do NOT want to tick of Austrians hopped up on energy drink.

RESULT:   1-1

8. Zorya vs. Bilbao

The Ukrainians are in 2^nd place in this group.  All they need is a draw in order to advance over 3^rd place-Bilbao.

RESULT:   1-1       Zorya moves on to the Knockout Phase.

You know what??   Too many of these final Group Stage games feature at least one team that’s going to be happy to just kick the ball straight in air 300 times.  Some of these games are televised for goodness sake!

Noob demands a new rule be instituted!   No backing into the Knockout Round.  No matter the result, if you don’t score a goal – or heck, even just have at least x# of SHOTS on goal – in the last match, you go home.  Whoever you would’ve played in the Knockout Round can have a bye!

Calm down?

Hey, Tommy.  How are the interviews going for your next wife-to-be in whatever windowless Scientology room you reserved on Outlook?

9. Bolivar vs. The Strongest – Bolivia Premcier

And no, Noob will not quiet his soul!  I’ve gone off about The Strongest before, too, and nothing’s been done.   I don’t care if maybe the team name doesn’t translate quite right semantically into Amuricuhn.  It’s too alpha, it’s a douche bag move to keep that name.  Change it to even boring “La Paz FC”, anything!

Oh, and this is 1^st place vs. 2^nd.  Important match between two intracity rivals.

RESULT:   0-0

The Management here with a post script.  Noob doesn’t interweb well.  La Paz F.C. is already taken by a third-tier club.  Thank you for your attention. — The Management

And the crest is even wicked-cool.  Dayum.

10. Tanzania vs. Zanzibar – CECAFA Cup

Noob’s previously spelled out this event to its fuller name of “CECAFA Senior Challenge Cup”.  Thankfully, I’ve seen it done both ways on credible interwebs sites, so we’re going with the one that doesn’t make it sound like assisted living center wheelchair-footyball.

Zanzibar is part of Tanzania, yet have their team not acknowledged by FIFA.  Have to believe this is an intense rivalry.

RESULT:   Zanzibar   1-2

 

Fine.  Noob admits this dude would probably run circles around me on the pitch.

Oh no.  That got worse, didn’t it…

10 to Track – the ten most fabulous games for you and me, the newish American soccer fans.

Noob and Noobite we may be, but we’re ending up more soccer-knowledgeable in many regards than anyone else at the ol’ water cooler.

1. Liverpool vs. Spartak Moscow – UEFA Champions League

Liverpool leads this group, and has dominated on goal differential.  Somehow, they don’t even have a Knockout Round spot sewn up, let alone 1^st.  Sevilla trails them by just a point, and 3^rd place Spartak would even pass them on tiebreaker with a win here.  Looks like Noob warned the wrong team.  RESULT:   Liverpool   7-0

 

 

Liverpool, don’t be this baby.

B.  Maribor vs. Sevilla – UEFA Champions League

The class of Slovenia haven’t won a Group Stage match yet.   Sevilla advances (Spartak Moscow above is out of this same Group, to Europa).   RESULT:   1-1

3. Shakhtar Donetsk vs. Manchester City – UEFA Champions League

Man City ran away with this Group, 5-0-0.  The Ukrainians are in 2^nd, three points up on Napoli, yet still in precarious position.  Napoli has the head to head tiebreaker on them.  A loss here and a Napoli win in their last match, and they’re Europa League-bound.   This Group was Upsetville today!   The Ukrainians advance!  Not warlike, Noob mean’s to the next round.   RESULT:   Shakhtar   2-1

 

YOU tell the Ukrainians they’re probably headed to Europa.  Noob OUT.

4. Feyenoord Rotterdam vs. Napoli – UEFA Champions League

And Feyenoord hasn’t earned a single point yet.  Napoli will cruise.   Where was Noobstradamus when we needed him?   RESULT:   Feyenoord   2-1

5. Red Bull Leipzig vs. Besiktas – UEFA Champions League

Somebody might be getting ready to retire, having made enough Turkish lira betting on Besiktas winning this Group.  RB Leipzig is tied for 2^nd with FC Porto on points, but Porto owns the tiebreaker.   RESULT:   Besiktas   1-2

 

When did “wiings” for RB go to three i’s??

6. FC Porto vs. AS Monaco – UEFA Champions League

Unfortunately for Leipzig, AS Monaco’s been so hapless, they can’t even make 3^rd place and Europa League now.  They might start some fans and equipment guys for this match.   Well, something went to form today.   RESULT:   Porto   5-2

 

 

AS Monaco.

7. Al-Jazira vs. Auckland City – FIFA Club World Cup

What is this event?  The winner of each of the six continental football federations sends their champion into this fray.  The host country, U.A.E., also gets to send its top league champion.  South American teams tend to put emphasis on this event.  Europeans do not.

The host team for this first round are U.A.E.’s top league champion.  They play this one-off against the Oceania federation’s champ for the right to play…Noob-fave, Urawa!   The home team gets Tokyo-Jersey Shore’d next!   RESULT:   Al-Jazira   1-0

 

“I heard you say my team’s name!  Sitch is back.”

8. Blackpool vs. Mansfield Town – EFL Trophy

Reminder:  Not the FA Cup.  This is a Cup tournament for League Two and Three (third and fourth-tier) clubs, as well as youth teams of the top two leagues’ clubs.

This is a Second Round match, and a one-off.  Blackpool are having a very solid season in League One.  Mansfield is tearing it up in League Two.

Noob is quite drawn to the favored host team.  The tangerine kits for which the team is nicknamed are mesmerizing.   On, Tangerines!   RESULT:   Blackpool   1-1  /  4-3  pk

 

Hello, nightmare-fodder, how are you today?…

9. Budocnost Podgorica vs. Sutjeska – Montenegro First League

These two not finishing 2^nd and 1^st at season’s end would be a stunner.  They’re almost halfway through the season, and B.P. have half again as many wins as anyone else.  And Sutjeska is further ahead of B.P. than THAT.  This is the host’s big chance to start the unlikeliest of title pushes.   RESULT:   B.P.   3-1

10. Saprissa vs. Perez Zeladon – Costa Rica Premier

The Apertura postseason Quadrangular marches on!  The top four league teams are playing a double round robin to determine who will play the league #1 for the title.  They’re two games in, and these two are 1^st and 2^nd on that table.  They finished 2^nd and 4^th in-league respectively.   RESULT:   Saprissa   2-1

 

American composer Harry Partch’s quadrangularis reversum, his own invention.  Not related.  Noob don’t care 🙂

Relegation Monday saw a sweet upset by Spanish former last-placers Alaves!  Now, moving into the midweek means hot.  Cup.  ACTION.

Noob’s feeling very Champions League-y.  They’re playing the final games of the Group Stage.  Top two finishers from each group of four are moving on to  the Knockout Round.  3rd place teams get dropped into Europa League.  4th place shall weep endlessly for what was lost!

1. Manchester United vs. CSKA Moscow – UEFA Champions League

Man Utd. hasn’t mathematically guaranteed themselves advancement, but they’re advancing.  3^rd place CSKA Moscow would not only have to win, but make up an astounding nine in goal differential to jump to 1st.  More likely is that they could win or draw and get ahead of Basel for 2^nd, good enough to get into the Knockout Round.  So CSKA Moscow is heading down to Europa League.   RESULT:  Man Utd   2-1

Problem though…

B.  Benfica vs. Basel – UEFA Champions League

…is that Basel finishes up against point-less Benfica.  Basel and CSKA Moscow are tied on points, but Basel has the better tie-breaking GD.  Win and they’re in.   And Basel makes the Knockout Round!   RESULT:   Basel   0-2

3. Chelsea vs. Atletico Madrid – UEFA Champions League

Chelsea is moving into the Knockout Round no matter what, just a question of as 1^st or 2^nd in this Group.  Atletico is in 3^rd, two points behind AS Roma.  Atletico must win, and hope…

Chelsea finishes in a 1st place tie on points, but is 2nd on tiebreaker.   RESULT:   1-1

4. AS Roma vs. Qarabag – UEFA Champions League

…that Roma somehow craps the bed against 4^th place Qarabag.  Qarabag hasn’t been as woeful as Benfica, but their only Group points have come from two 1-1 draws.   While its Roma that won that tiebreaker!   RESULT:   Roma   1-0

The Roma supporters are under attack!!

5. Barcelona vs. Sporting CP – UEFA Champions League

Barcelona is advancing to the next Round as well.  Sporting CP is 3^rd, a point behind Juventus.  The Portuguese club has actually shown a bit of offensive pop, but Barcelona’s only given up one goal this whole Group Stage.

Sporting also faces a similar problem to what’s been scene in the subentries above, in that…

Barcelona wins their Group!   RESULT:   Barcelona   2-0

6. Olympiacos vs. Juventus – UEFA Champions League

…Juventus gets to finish up against winless Olympiacos.  If Juve somehow lose (and the road is never a breeze), then a Sporting draw would be enough to move them on.  Sporting has the GD tiebreaker.   Juve takes 2nd and advances!   RESULT:   0-2

Greece – doing it wrong.  Tourist – doing it wronger.

7. Yeovil Town vs. AFC Wimbledon – EFL Trophy

A reminder of what this event is:  a Cup tournament for League One and League two (third and fourth-tier leagues), plus the youth teams affiliated with the top two leagues’ clubs.

This is the Second Round, which is Knockout.  One game and done.   Neither of these clubs is having a good season in-league.  But Wimbledon is in League One compared to Two for the hosts, so even on the road it’s hard to pick against them.   The Noob-fave is victorious!   RESULT   Yeovil   2-0

8. Port Vale vs. Shrewsbury Town – EFL Trophy

These two are also in the fourth and third tiers respectively.  But Port Vale’s season has been steeped in suck, while Noob-fave Shrewsbury is cutting ‘em down in League One!

Longer-tenured Noobites will know why I have such adoration for the Shrews.   They’re town is where the vile traitor Henry “Hotspur” Percy met his much-deserved demise.  Hallowed ground!  (And so always remember to root against namesake Premier League club Tottenham Hotspur, friends.)   On, Shrews!   RESULT:   Shrewsbury   1-2

Die 1000 deaths, Hotspur!

9. Zanzibar vs. Rwanda – CECAFA Senior Challenge Cup

In case you missed the intro yesterday, this is a Cup tournament for teams from the central and eastern African association.  There are two Group, of five and four teams, and it’s all just getting started.

Noob finds this match interesting just because, as little as I know about African soccer, I know zilch about Zanzibar footyball.   They’re an island that’s actually part of Tanzania; not recognized at the international play-level by FIFA.   Noob mislisted the home and away.  RESULT:   Zanzibar   1-0

10. Kenya vs. Libya – CECAFA Senior Challenge Cup

Libya’s not a member of this organization, but they were invited in order to make this a nice, round nine-team event…

FIFA-ranked #111 vs. #77.  If you can pirate a stream somewhere of #9, then you have the interblag expertise to make it a double-feature two hours later and catch this one!   And if not, fear not.  Noob always updates the T2T’s with results.   RESULT:   0-0

Interblag expert

Think your Mondays suck?  Trying being one of the featured teams here that may soon get kicked out of their countries’ top leagues.

Most days of the week, Noob’s all about the ten most important matches from the lens of the newish American fan.  Monday’s run light on games pairing top-caliber sides.   So let’s shake hands with, get to know some clubs that may not be in our purview much longer!

First, let’s tackle a couple traditionally-worthy matches.

1. Slough Town vs. Rochdale – English FA Cup

The hosts are another of the Southern League Premier teams somehow still alive in this event.  The level-seveners see League One (tier three) Rochdale coming to call today.  This is the Second Round (Proper), and a one-off.

Slough is an exburb, about 20 miles west of central London.  Its name means “dirt” and it’s particularly crime-ridden.  Guys, maybe changing the awful name would be a start in the right direction.  Rochdale, you don’t get to weigh in.   Minnow down!   RESULT:   Rochdale   0-4

 

 

The English rip on Slough with Lion King memes?  Ummm…well-played?

B.  Uganda vs. Burundi – CECAFA Senior Challenge Cup

CECAFA is the Council for East and Central Africa Football Associations.  Noob’s not sure why there’s a subcontinental organization in addition to CAF (Confederation of African Football), but I’m down for more matches!

Nine teams are competing, including non-FIFA member Zanzibar.  This Group Stage match feature FIFA-ranked #74 versus #138.   RESULT:   0-0

And now, our Relegation Stars!

3. Girona vs. Alaves – Spanish Premier

Would someone please draw last-place Alaves directions to the opponent’s net?  They’ve scored all of seven goals in 13 matches.  Girona is in 12^th.

Alaves are the babazorros.  Zorro, means fox.  Noob’s not sure what the baba’s about.   It’s a Relegation Monday upset!   Alaves scores the tiebreaker in the 94′.   RESULT:   Alaves   2-3

 

 

Babazorro Albiazul – team mascot

 

 

 

4. Hellas Verona vs. Genoa – Italy Serie A

Noob wants to watch a match in Italia/ Gonna make my way to Stadio Bentegod-a/ B-e—n—t—a-goaad-ah./

Visiting Genoa’s in 16^th place/ While the home side are stuck down in the  Relegation Zone-ah/ Hellas Verona.

Hellas Veroohh-nahhhh!  Duhn duhduh dah dunh duhnduhn…. *guitar riff*

RESULT:   Genoa   0-1

5.  Estoril vs. Portimonense – Portuguese Liga

Fellow Relegation candidate Moreirense has one lone win to Estoril’s two, yet it’s the latter in last place.   No draws.  The visitors here aren’t even a .500 club, so perhaps this game is gettable for Estoril.

The town of Estoril lies with the town of Cascais.  Noob’s uncertain how exactly that works, but Cascais is sooooper ritzy.   RESULT:   0-0

6. Platanias vs. Atromitos – Greece Super League

When last we Tracked Platanias, they were in 15^th and lost 3-0 to league leader AEK Athens.  Things aren’t looking up for the boys in red this time either.  Now in their last place and get the league #4.

Platanias is the name of a resort village, 10 miles from the city of Chania, on Crete.   RESULT:   Atromitos   1-3

7. Poli Timisoara vs. Gaz Metan – Romania Liga I

Romania’s league is one of many that don’t Relegate teams right away after the regular season.   More than half the league moves into the Relegation Round to determine which two will get the boot.

Gaz Metan is in 12^th place, a fine example of eastern Euro suckitude.  Timisoara is only a couple notches better than them in the table.  “The Timisoara People” versus “The Black Wolves”.  Noob will pull for Gaz Metan just for having a better nickname.   RESULT:   1-1

8. Birmingham City vs. Wolverhampton Wanderers – English Championship League

ECL drops three teams into third-tier League one at season’s end.  Birmingham’s in a tie for the last spot to get Relegated, but they’ve played one less game than Bolton.  Sadly for them, Wolverhampton’s the league #1, so Noob doesn’t look for them to improve their outlook even at home.

Fun fact!   Birmingham City was founded 142 years ago, as “Small Health Alliance”.   RESULT:   Wolverhampton   0-1

 

 

Wait, shouldn’t that be in black and white?

9. Perugia vs. Ascoli – Italy Serie B

Acoli’s in last place in a league that Relegates a stunning four teams (of 22).  Still, hope is not lost.   They’re only four points shy of being clear of The Drop.  Perugia is a mid-pack team.  Ascoli’s nickname is “Woodpecker”, and seems to be singular.   RESULT:   Perugia   1-0

10. Santiago Wanderers vs. Temuco – Chile Premier

Temuco is in 8^th place.  So, Noob, that means you’re stating Wanders are a possible Relegation team?   They just WON the country’s FA Cup, so that’s crazytown!

Excellent observation, fake commentator.  And nice use of that faux compound adjective.  This league determines who gets Dropped by cumulative results from their last three tournaments (partial seasons), and Wanderers have stunk up the joint.  BUT!  Should they stay there, they’ll get to play a team from the division below them for the chance to remain Premier.

The very best of Sunday’s matches, ten strong!  All for you, the newish American soccer fan.  Leagues, cup, New League! Despair and Nostalgia.  Noob brings it all home.

1. Monterrey vs. Morelia – Liga MX

Reminder:  Liga MX is currently in the Liguilla portion of its Apertura.  The first half of their 2017-18 league season is in the books, and now they play this mini-tournament to determine the champion.

This match is the second leg of a Semifinal.   Monterrey won 0-1 in Michoacan and now get to vanquish Las Monarcas at home in Guadalupe.  #4 Morelia earned a draw against #1 Monterrey in the regular season, but good luck besting that effort here in the playoffs.   Vanquished.   RESULT:   Monterrey   4-0

B.  AFC Bournemouth vs. Southampton – English Premier

There are just two games in the EPL today.   Neither pitted two teams competing for postseason berths.  Since Noob always Tracks at least one game from England whenever offered, we get my beloved Cherries!

Sweet, sweet Bournemouth may be in just 16^th place, but a win over #12 Southampton would jump them all the way to 11^th!   They’ve won four of their last five to get clear of the Relegation Zone.  But Southampton are 6-1-1 in recent games against Noob’s guys.  *gulp*   Bournemouth to 14th, Southampton to 11th.   RESULT:   1-1

Stop it, Bournemouth.  You’re freaking Noob out some.  

3. Wycombe vs. Leatherhead – English FA Cup

The Second Round (Proper) continues, and Noob’s harlot-red lipstick Minnow Watch alert light is flashing!

Wycombe wonders are from League Two, the fourth tier of the Brit soccer pyramid.  Leatherhead has our Cup hearts again today though, hailing from all the way down in the seventh-level Isthmian League Premier Division.  “Again”, because we Tracked them in both of their First Round matches against Billericay.  It’s not enough for Noob Adoption, but they’ve found the road.

Fun facts:  Leatherhead joined a league in 1909 called the Dorking and District.   Their home turf is called Fetcham Grove.  God bless the English, some stuff’s just cool, cute.   The favorites advance.   RESULT:   Wycombe   3-1

4. Sampdoria vs. Lazio – Italy Serie A

These two are in 5^th and 6^th place, and neither will make a jump with a win here.  But if either dreams of catching one of those top four slots and berth into next year’s Champions League, beating their fellow outsider would be a super start.

Lazio’s better on both sides of the ball, statistically, so Noobstradamus is calling this a road win for Le Aquile (“The Eagles”).   Noob prognostication success!   RESULT:   Lazio   1-2

 

 

Il calcio è delizioso.

5. Caen vs. Lyon – French Ligue 1

PSG has opened up a daunting ten-point lead in the table.  The real race is for 2^nd and 3^rd, the two other CL qualifying spots. Caen may be in 6^th, but their goal differential would indicate they’re unlikely to climb higher.  Lyon is in 3^rd.

Is it “on” or “in” the table?   Noob brings you the info, but we learn and wonder together, Noobites.   RESULT:   Lyon   1-2

 

Noob lives this.

6. Siroki Brijeg vs. Seljeznicar Sarajevo – Bosnia and Herzegovina Premier

B&H, it’s been so long!  We haven’t Tracked a match of yours since before Halloween.  How’s your govina?  It “herze”, you say?

The Management interrupting here.  The Management would like to apologize for that lame pun.  We try to have some standards here, but some people are more open to suggestions than others… Thank you for your attention.  You’re now returned to your regularly scheduled weirdness  – The Management

Noob’s not going to apologize to the likes of you, corner office swine.  I’m the talent, and I do as I will!

Ok, in fairness, that was a bad pun.  I’m sorry-jevo about that…  *ducks*

These two are tied for 2nd, just two points out of 1^st.   They vault into 1st!   RESULT:   Seljeznicar   1-2

7. Lillestrom vs. Sarpsborg – Norway FA Cup

It’s the Final!   No second leg to be played here, it’s one and done for the Cup.  Noob’s not certain if this is at a neutral site or not.  But the match is being played in Oslo, and Lillestrom’s barely more than 10 miles from there.

Winning this would be a nice salve for Lillestrom’s wounds.  They didn’t miss being Relegated out of the top league by much this year.  Sarpsborg finished 3^rd, good for a 2018 Europa League berth.   Hail to the surprise champions!!   RESULT:   Lillestrom   2-3

 

Norwegian Cup – meet Norwegian cupboard bed.

8. Botafogo vs. Cruziero – Brazil Serie A

The 38^th and final round of the season in this league is now on, and there are Copa Libertadores (think “Champions League”) berths yet to be finalized!  Forgive Noob for not placing the match higher on today’s Track, but I’m working more by world region than anything.

Cruziero is in 4^th.  They’re in like Flynn.  Botafogo is in 8^th, the very last spot that gets in.  There are -four- teams that realistically pass them if they lose.   Should they get a draw, Atletico Mineiro may pass them.  A win, of course, and they eke in.   Botafogo got passed by three teams!   They’re out for 2018 Copa Libertadores.  RESULT:   2-2

9. Herediano vs. Saprissa – Costa Rica Premier

Costa Rica’s action is pretty similar to Mexico’s in structure.  This league also just finished its Apertura.  But rather than a bracket-style tournament, the top four teams face off in the Quadrangular.  These are two of them.

They will play a double-round robin, and the team with the most standings points in this group…is NOT champion.  The winner of the Q plays the Apertura’s 1^st place finisher for the title.  Unless the same team wins both (Herediano?).  Then they’re already the champs, and it’s spotted rooster for everyone!   RESULT:   Saprissa   0-1

10. Kerala Blasters vs. Mumbai City – India Super League

Hello, and welcome to the Track, India!   Your league system is weird and wonderful.  Noob will make introductions.

India’s top domestic league is I-League, not Super League.  Super League is ten teams made up of players from the I-League and State Leagues, put together for world promotional purposes.  Noob’s not sure why India’s federation wouldn’t just promote I-League, but we’ll take more football any way we can get it.

This match features last season’s #2 and #1 clubs.  Fun fact:  The club nickname comes from one of their owners – a former cricket player nicknamed “Master Blaster”.   RESULT:   1-1

You’ve never seen these two in the same room.   Coincidence??

   

The World Cup draw has been announced!  And Noob will weigh in soon enough.  But we have the joy of perusing Saturday’s ten very best games from the perspective we share – that of the newish American fan’s perspective.

Today’s reminder:  Check back later on any 10 to Track to see results.

1.  Monterrey vs. Pachuca – Copa MX (FA Cup)

The Final!  No neutral site here, league #1 Monterrey gets to play for the title on their own turf in Guadalupe.  Somehow. Pachuca has had the seemingly easier path here, despite finishing 12^th in the Apertura standings.  They give up over twice as many goals as their hosts.  This may get muy feo.   But not for a bit!   This one’s now listed as 12/21

B.  U.A.N.L vs. America – Liga MX

This match is part of the Liguilla, not the FA Cup referenced above.  The top teams from this league’s last half-season, the Apertura, face off in this mini-tournament.   This is Leg 2 of the Semifinal.  #2 UANL beat #3 America 1-0 on the road in the first match.   On, UANL!   RESULT:   UANL   3-0

 

FC AmericaS, or FC Western Hemisphere more like it.  Can Noob start a team called FC Planet Earth?

 

3.  Arsenal vs. Manchester United – English Premier

Noob’s not certain 4^th place Arsenal has the defense to remain there.  Man Utd is in a class by itself for scoring.  They’re much better than the rest of the league, except for Man City.  Man City is much better than everyone.   RESULT   Man Utd   1-3

3. 4.  Fleetwood Town vs. Hereford – English FA Cup

Fleetwood!!!   Noob does not care that Fleetwood Mac is from London and not Fleetwood, Lancashire.  You must go down!  Just thinking about Stevie Nicks opening her mouth to let sound out raises my ire!   That Ethel Merman-esque vibrato has no place in a universe with an omnibenevolent God.  This musical version of the philosophical Problem of Evil makes Noob crazy!  CraziER…

Um, right!  Footyball.   Fleetwood is a mid-pack League One (tier three) squad.  Hereford is a pretty darn good side for seventh-tier.  Our Minnow Watch visitors are known as “The Bulls”, named for the Hereford cattle breed.   They’ll have to replay this one, but with accursed Fleetwood on the road this time – muahahaha.   RESULT:   1-1

 

 

Was this referenced in Dante’s Inferno?

 

 

5.  Atletico Madrid vs. Real Sociedad – Spanish Premier

Atletico and Real Madrid are tied for 3^rd place, in another league that sends four to the C.L.  Real Sociedad sits in 7^th, one spot out of even Europa League qualification.  They have almost the worst defense of anyone in the top 2/3 of La Liga.   RESULT:   Atletico Madrid   2-1

6.  Bayer Leverkusen vs. Borussia Dortmond – German Bundesliga

Dortmond started the season like a house afire, but have slid to 5^th place.  They haven’t won a match since a week before Halloween.  They’re unmatched on offense, but give up goals now like a sieve.  Can Leverkusen pass them as well?  They’re just a spot back in the table.   Dortmond struggled yet again.   Leverkusen lost a man to a red card in the first half when up 1-0, and Dortmond still coudn’t secure a victory.   RESULT:   1-1

 

 

To Germans, this is probably one serious zinger. 

 

 

 

7.  Besiktas vs. Galatsaray – Turkey Super Lig

Defending league champ Besiktas is in 4^th.  Their scoring is WAY down.  Galatsaray, meanwhile, has the league’s best offense AND defense working.  This league only gets two Champions League berths.   Welcome back, Besiktas!   RESULT:   Besiktas   3-0

8.  Ferencvaros vs. Videoton – Hungary NB 1

Noob has perhaps been lax in his coverage duties.   Apologies, Hungary.   But now you bring us #2 hosting #1.  You have our attention.  The visitors have a whopping 40 goals in just 17 games.

Noob thinks their name sounds like a cheap video rental store.  Do those even exist anymore?   RESULT:   Ferencvaros   3-1

 

 

If so, no doubt one can rent the third, direct-to-video installment from this series there. 

 

 

9.  Ulsan Hyundai vs. Busan I’Park – Korean FA Cup

It’s Leg 2 of the final!   Good on Busan – a division two team – for making the Final, but their hopes are looking dim.   They dropped the first Leg 1-2, and now have to try and make a comeback on the road against an excellent top-flight team.   Congrats on the Cup title!    The draw was all you needed today.   RESULTL:   0-0

10.  Holstein Kiel vs. Fortuna Dusseldorf – 2. Bundesliga

The top two teams from Germany’s second division both automatically qualify for promotion to top flight next season.  These two are #1 and #2 respectively.  Classic face off here, as Dusseldorf is the league’s best defense and Kiel scores the most goals.

And yes, this is the second sub-entry today with a cattle name.   RESULT:   2-2

 

cattlenoob .com?

Welcome to the Friday Globetrotting edition of T2T, your soccer-coverage G6.  You get to keep your shoes on, remain unfrisked, and you can even bring jumbo toothpaste tubes.  Go nuts.

Noob’s standard mission is to bring us the ten best games from all of soccerland.  Friday’s tend to be a little light, so we go in search of less-heralded teams, leagues and locales for our fix.

Today’s reminder:  If terms are unfamiliar, check out the ‘Vocab, Noob-Style’ page.

As always, we ease in with some familiar faces and places first:

1. AFC Fylde vs. Wigan Athletic – English FA Cup

The Second Round (Proper) gets underway today!   Fylde is from Lancashire County and plays in the fifth tier National League, where they’re having a so-so season at best.   Wigan is a name Noob vaguely remembers from his youth, their halcyon days of Premier.  They’re 3^rd place in third-tier League One.   No AET or PK on the first try in this event.  They will play again, at Wigan.   RESULT:   1-1

B.  Napoli vs. Juventus – Italy Serie A

#1 vs. #3 in one humdinger of a matchup.  Napoli is sets the bar for defense, whole Juve is the opposite.  Strange, Juventus is the club that was known for D last season.   Juve jumps to 2nd!   RESULT:   Juve   0-1

3. Porto vs. Benifica – Portuguese Liga

The historically great Big Three in Portugal are at it again.  These two hold the first and third spots on the table.  They’re all fairly equal on paper, but Porto gives up less than a goal every other game on average.   RESULT:   0-0

4. Al-Wehdat vs. Al-Jazeera – Jordan Premier

The hosts play in Amman New Camp, a Palestinian refugee camp that was formed about 70 years ago.   It’s the second-largest in the world at over 50,000 people.  It’s early in the football season there, but this pits 2^nd versus 3^rd places.   RESULT:   Wehdat   2-0

5. Al Ahli vs. Al Hilal – Saudi Premier

It’s no surprise to see these two in the top two spots in the standings.  Hilal are the defending league champs.  Though they trail #1 Al Ahli by four points, they’ve also played three fewer league games so far this season because of international play.   Realistically, these two are in a dead heat.

Fun fact:  Neither of these two has ever been relegated to a lower division.   Noob has the home and away mixed up.   RESULT:   Al Hilal  2-0

6. Gandzasar vs. Alashkert – Armenia Premier

Alashkert is a name more tenured-Noobites will recognize, as they appeared in Champions League this year.  The defending league champs have an even bigger margin this year than they finished with last season  over then-and-now 2^nd place Gandzasar.

Gandzasar translates to “treasure-mountain”, and their small city of Kapan is a hot spot for mining non-ferrous metals.   RESULT:   Gandzasar    1-0

Charlie Sheen as non-Ferris metalhead?  Maybe just more straight rock n roll rebel.

7. Saif vs. Farashganj – Bangladesh Premier

It’s 4^th hosting 12^th.  Only one team will qualify from this league into next year’s AFC Champions League.  That’s the kind of ground we cover on Fridays!  The top three are pulling away from Saif.  Three points over their last-place guests is a must.   RESULT:   2-2

8. Ouagadougou vs. Santos – Burkinabe Premier (Burkina Faso)

9^th hosts last place in a league Noob also finds referred to as the “1ere Division”.

At the turn of the century in Ouaga, a one-time sacred forest that had been turned into an urban park by the French colonialists, was renamed “Bangr-Weoogo”.  This translates to “the urban park of the forest of knowledge”.   RESULT:   0-0

9. Laos vs. Philippines – international friendly

FIFA-ranked #184 hosts #118.   The Laos men’s national team has lost their last three games by a cumulative 11-1 score, to powers like Macau.   But this is the first one they’ve played at home in a while.

10. Taiwan vs. Timor-Leste – international friendly

FIFA-ranked #134 hosts #196.   East Timor has the distinction of being the first U.N.-recognized new sovereign state of the 21^st century (2002)!  Previously, they had been a province of Indonesia, and before that a colony of Portugal.

Belated “welcome” from and to Noob, East Timor!

 

 

It’s a Cup kind of day for the 10 most important games to follow, fellow newish American soccer fans!  We lead off with, footyball- Amuricuhn style.

1. Seattle Sounders vs. Houston Dynamo – MLS playoffs

It’s the Semifinal Noob loves to hate!  Second leg.

To recap:  The first hardcore soccer fan I ever met was a T.A. at my school.  He was a vainglorious douchebag.   And he is all about Sounders, and a bandwagon asshat to boot, not being from there.  Then we have Houston, a city hated on the The Management’s principle that Cities built on Swamps are worthy of our scorn.  Noob concurs.

Even as the higher seed and at home, Noob doesn’t think Seattle is much better than the Dynamo.  But Seattle has a 2-0 lead from the first match, and that changes everything.   Houston’s defense isn’t spectacular.  Noob sees Seattle scoring multiple counterattack goals even as they try to take the air out of the ball.   Houston controlled the ball a shade more of the time, yet Sounders win!   This sets up a rematch of last years MLS Cup Final between them and Toronto.   RESULT:   Seattle   3-0

B.  Atletico Junior vs. Flamengo – Copa Sudamericana

Your Semifinal undercard comes from South America’s version of Europa League.  The winner of this two-legged tie gets Argentinian Independiente in the Final.  Unsurprisingly, it’s likely to be a Brazilian club.  Junior won 1-2 at the Ecuadorian’s place.  Given just the one-goal margin, Noob’s instinct is that Brazil won’t sit on that lead, will pound the Ecuadorian’s with shots.   Noob for mixed up.   it was Flamengo who had been up 2-1 from the first match.   They advance.   RESULT:   Flamengo   0-2

 

Noob would’ve had to imbibe this hard to likely get through one ep.

3. Villareal vs. Ponferradina – Spanish Copa del Rey (FA Cup)

Welcome back to Spain’s FA Cup Round of 32.  Two-legged ties get played here, and lowly tier-three Ponferradina leads Primera side Villeareal 1-0 on aggregate.  How, Noob asks?  They’re having a bad league season even in that league!

Before they get bushwhacked on the road, let’s get to know them.   Their town – Ponferrada – translates to “iron bridge”.   It is completely surrounded by mountains.  Despite this, and confusingly to Noob, it is gaining popularity as a tourism site by being along the Way of St. James pilgrimage path.   RESULT:   Villareal   3-0

4. Udinese vs. Perugia – Coppa Italia (FA Cup)

They play mostly one-offs in this event.  Udinese is a so-so Premier team, and Perugia is a middling tier-two team.  Perugia does have some history though.  In 1978-79, they finished 2nd in the top league.  They didn’t lose a single match!   Must have had a lot of draws to not win the title.   Not a typo.   RESULT:   Udinese   8-3

 

Oh I know my name is Simon!  And I like to do drawr-rings .

5. Zulte-Waregem vs. Club Brugge – Belgian Cup (FA Cup)

No Minnow Watch for this FA Cup.  All 16 top league teams won their previous rounds’ matches.  This one pits the league 10^th place side against #1.   RESULT:   Brugge   2-3

6. Rudes vs. Lokomotiva – Croatian Cup (FA Cup)

This is the first leg of a two-legged Quarterfinal.  Rudes stands 10^th in the league table to Lokomotiva’s 6^th.  The visitors play in Zagreb, where powerhouse Dinamo Zagreb also is.  They serve unofficially as a feeder team for them, even now that they are in the same league, and the relationship is not a popular one.   Lokomotiva   1-2

7. Young Boys of Bern vs. St. Gallen – Swiss Cup (FA Cup)

This is a Quarterfinal one-odd.  Noob doesn’t Track St. Gallen much, but we may seem more of them soon.  They’ve risen to 4^th place in the Superleague there.  But as far as this event, well, YBB is #1.   RESULT:   YBB   2-1

8. Kars 36 Spor vs. Genclebirligi – Turkey Cup (FA Cup)

HERE is your Minnow Watch, Noobites!   Gencle is a Super Lig team, but should probably outgun the home side in both this and the away leg.   After all, Karsspor is from the -7^th– level of the soccer pyramid there, a regional amateur team!   May your stay be long, fellas.  Though it won’t.   RESULT:   Gencle   1-2

Karsspor, Noob simply must know who you’re wearing- that crest is sensational!

9. Santa Fe vs. jaguars – Colombian Premier

It’s the First Round of the postseason for this league, with #2 seed hosting #8, first leg.   RESULT:   Santa Fe   4-1

10. Juticalpa vs. Real Espana – Honduras Premier

It’s the postseason for the Apertura – the first half-season.  This is a Quarterfinal between the #5 and #4 seeds.   RESULT:   Real Espana   2-3

 

It feels to Noob like a picture of your    own country would be less strange on there.