Tag: Belarusian Premier

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Saturday (8/25) – MLS, NWSL, Noob’s fave Fighting Cherries

The ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game.

Plenty of ‘Muricuh, North ‘Muricuh, Caribbean spice and then footyball flavors from the world over.   Savory.  Let’s eat.

  1. Philadelphia Union vs. New England Revolution – Major League Soccer

Hard to believe New England are still in the playoff hunt, just four points behind Philadelphia for 6th and the last postseason berth.  They haven’t won a match since June and have given up multiple goals every match but the first in this nasty streak of seven.

The Union, meanwhile, have won three in a row, including one that puts them in the Final for the US Open Cup next month.  The defense has been good, but the offense has been superb.  If the teams continue to trend as they have, this match could get out of hand in a hurry.

If New England hope to right the ship, Matt Turner’s got to get it together in goal.  But Noob thinks that the weak link in the back line has been on the right side.  Andrew Farrell was an all-star in 2016, but he’s playing like an all-stooge right now.   (7:00 PM EST, ESPN+)

RESULT:   Philly   1-0       Statistically, Farrell and Turner were the second and third-worst defenders for either team today.

Image result for andrew farrell new england revolution funny

 

 

Somehow, Andrew just doesn’t look… ready.

B.  Seattle Reign vs. North Carolina Courage – National Women’s Soccer League

A quite probable preview of the postseason Final is on tonight for NWSL.   With two matches to go in the regular season, North Carolina has (long since) clinched the Supporters Shield and.   Seattle is also now guaranteed a playoff spot, #B in the standings, up four on Portland.

Noob thinks they’ll both play like this IS the playoffs, not rest many or any starters.  If so, Seattle is only an even match at best tonight, even at home.  NCC score nearly twice as much.

RESULT:   1-1     The Courage got the equalizer at 90′

Image result for BB

 

 

Twice the Number B?

What’s not to love?

  1. Monterrey vs. Morelia – Liga MX

Plain and simple, two of Mexico’s best face off tonight.  Everyone’s chasing Cruz Azul right now, but these two are #B and #4.  The story tonight might be Morelia’s defense.   Every win but their first has been by just one goal, with only one clean sheet over that stretch.   (10:06 PM, FS2)

RESULT:   2-2

  1. AFC Bournemouth vs. Everton – English Premier League

Noob tries not to play favorites in determining which matches are track-worthy.  But it truly looks like my Fighting Cherries hosting last year’s #8 in Everton is the best, most competitive British match o’ the day!

AFC finished in 12th, tied with a couple teams that had better GD’s, last season.  This year, they’re one of six clubs to have one their first two matches.  Everton are 1-1-0, and this is the sort of match they didn’t always win last year – and need to – if they want to climb even just one more notch in the table and get at least a Europa League berth.

RESULT:   2-2      What a wild one.  Everton went down a man just before the half, but took the lead in the second.   Then a Cherry got a red card and Everton scored again.  Two late-ish goals – including one from kit model-Josh King, earned AFCB the draw.

AFC Bournemouth home

 

 

Josh King, sporting the new AFCB kit

  1. Juventus vs. Lazio – Serie A

These are last year’s Italian champs and #5 finishers, respectively.  This could be one wild, woolly match.

Juventus now have the world’s best player, Cristiano Ronaldo.  They add him to what was already the best offense in the league, save one club.  And that one club was Lazio, though they scored very much at the expense of their defense.

Juventus barely beat lowly ChievoVerona 2-3 in their opening match, getting the game-winner in the 93’.  Lazio lost their first on the road at last season’s runner-up, Napoli.  Talk about your tough matches to start a year.   (12:00 PM, ESPN2)

RESULT:   Juve   2-0

  1. Cuba vs. Trinidad and Tobago – women’s World Cup qualification

This is the CONCACAF Women’s Championship, dually serving as WC qualifying event.  The first qualifying group stage just concluded.  Five Groups of Caribbean national teams played, out of which only the winners advanced.

In this next qualifying round, those five all play in one pod.  Three will advance to the final round.  (Another pod of Central American teams also starts play at this round, out of which two will advance.)

Cuba is ranked just 85th  in the world, while T&T is 50th.  Cuba outscored opponents last round 22-3.  T&T surpassed even that, racking up a 27-1 to one margin (and still only advancing on tiebreaker!).

RESULT:   T&T   2-3

Image result for Trinidad and Tobago women's soccer 2018

 

 

T&T women’s national team

  1. Benfica vs. Sporting CP – Portugal Primeira Liga

Portugal’s top flite league has held steady in the UEFA rankings at #7.  That means they’re the best league that will still get only two Champions League berths.

Last season, Benfica got the second one, with Sporting just missing out in 3rd.  Benfica were a lot better on offense and Sporting’s equal on defense, more or less.  They’ve each one both their matches to start to the 2018-19 campaign.

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Cerezo Osaka vs. Sanfrecce Hiroshima – Japan J1 League

A 1-5 matchup in a league this size isn’t usually quite shiny enough to capture Noob’s wandering gaze.  But this site has its the Management and he is a Japanophile and must be appeased!

The top three will make the next AFC Champions League, and there’s a seven-point gap between 3rd and the rest with two thirds of the season in the books.  Hiroshima had a chance to practically wrap up the league title with a win their last match out, but current #B beat them on their own pitch.

C.Osaka statistically aren’t really much better than average, and so are probably just an even shot to win or draw at home today.

RESULT:   Hiroshima   0-1

Image result for management funny

 

 

Do you see, do you see what Noob must live with?

  1. Atletico Junior vs. Independiente Medellin – Colombia Primera A

In Colombia, the top eight (of 20) clubs will make the postseason tournament.  These two are part of a three-way tie for 3rd just a few matches into the Finalizacion (second half-season, same as a Clausura in other leagues).

You probably need a pretty deep satellite package to get RCN Tele Nuestre, but the match will be there at 9:00 PM.

RESULT:   Junior   2-1

  1. BATE Borisov vs. FK Vitebsk – Belarus Premier

Let’s end the Track with a 1 versus B-matchup!

Just over halfway through the season, BATE are up seven points in the table on both their guests today and Dinamo Minsk.  All three play about the same defense, but these two are a load better than D.Minsk on offense.  This will be a two-horse race soon enough.

RESULT:   1-1     BATE gets the equalizer right at 90′

Image result for Barysaw Belarus

 

 

So long from Borisov Stadium!

’10 to Track’ Relegation Monday soccer matches – plus World Cup schtuff

It’s Monday, embrace the suckitude!

We start with some World Cup matches, then feature our traditional Monday Relegation games.  And Noob’s had fun delving deep  into league scheds around the globe to make sure today is chock full of matchups involving teams about to get the Boot.  Let us ogle and celebrate them!

  1. Iceland vs. Slovenia – women’s World Cup qualification (UEFA)

Reminder:  Seven Group of five.  Only the top finisher in each automatically qualifies for World Cup.  The top four in the #B finishers’ table will have a playoff for one final WC berth.

FIFA #19 Iceland trail Germany by just two points for 1st place, and they’ve played one less match.  Czech Republic – six points behind Iceland – are the only other team that could still crack the top two.  #62 Slovenia is eliminated, as are Faroe Islands.  The latter have yet to score in this event and have given up 41 goals.  Mommy.

Noobstradamus is back in action, prognosticating for YOU.  Iceland 4-0 in an utter rout.   Find your bookies, Noobites!  Cash on the barrelhead.

RESULT:   Iceland   2-0

Image result for noobstradamus

 

 

When sports gambling is legal in every U.S. state, I’m winning a bazillion dollars, buying this website, and dancing around the flames I set to it.

B.  Belgium vs. Costa Rica – friendly

Belgium is the third-ranked men’s national team in the world, a quiet dark horse to make a deep run at World Cup.  They’ve kept four clean sheets in a row.  But all their friendlies going back to October have been at home.  And they have the occasional weird hiccup, like letting Bosnia & Herzegovina and Mexico score three times each.

#23 Costa Rica needs some success heading into Russia.  They’re only wins in recent are against fairly-weak Scotland and Northern Ireland.  Noob’s chosen them for his CONCACAF team for which to cheer.  I more than suspect they will be gone after the Group Stage, leaving Noob a soccer-supporting, port-less boat in a storm.  Or something.   (2:45 PM Eastern, ESPN Deportes)

RESULT:   Belgium   4-1

Image result for letter B storm

 

 

 

But Number B is the storm!

  1. South Korea vs Senegal – friendly

#57 South Korea managed a home draw against Bolivia in their most recent friendly.  Might be the last success they see in a while.  Senegal is headed to Russia as well, but haven’t been testing themselves against very highly-ranked competition.  They need to prove to themselves they can score against this weaker S.K. side, because they haven’t against much of anyone else.

RESULT:   Senegal   2-0     Turns out the game was in Senegal

  1. Smolevichy vs. Gorodeya – Belarus Premier

#27 of 55, a perfectly good, fine and average European league.  We need to see more of them here.

Two of the 16 teams in this league will be Relegated.  10 matches into the season, there’s a five-way tie for last.  Three of them are even tied on goal differential and these are two of them.  Gorodeya occupies last place by virtue of some other tiebreaker, Smolevichy 14th.

RESULT:   Smolevichy   2-0

Image result for haradzeya

 

 

Church of Jospeh, Haradzeya (home of FC Gorodeya)

pop. not much over 4,000.

  1. Naft Matsan vs. Zakho – Iraq Premier

Iraq is considered to be just outside the top 10 of Asian leagues.  Based on clubs’ performance in international matches, they’re likely to drop some next year.

Zakho are in last with six league matches to go, all but set to be demoted to second-tier Iraqi Division 1.  Their plight is made worse by their having been docked three points in the table for a player-pay issue.  No offense sure ain’t helping.  Naft Matsan are in 11th.

Fun Fact:   Zakho is believed to have been founded on a small island surrounded on all sides by the Little Khabur River.

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Kedus Giorgis vs. Woldya Kenema – Ethiopia Premier

Three teams of these 16 will get The Boot after six more matches.  Woldya are in last, yet only six points from daylight.  But it’s #3 “Saint George” they’re visiting.  Woldya doesn’t appear to have nearly the offense to climb out of trouble.

RESULT:   St. George   3-1

Image result for Biblical solomon ethiopia

 

 

Weldiya is in the Amhar region, where they claim to descend from the Biblical Solomon.

  1. Qizilqum vs. Sogdiana – Uzbekistan Super League

Uzbekistan is a top-ten Asian league and climbing.  These two likely haven’t been helping that cause, though, as they are 10th and 11th of the dozen league clubs.

Last year, five clubs were Relegated.  This year, Noob’s sources are unclear on how many will go down, but they agree that there is some sort of Relegation Round for the bottom six.  The season’s is not quite twelve games in, so they’re plenty of time for either to improve their place in the table.

Fun Fact:  Sogdiana is named for the ancient Iranian civilization of that name.

RESULT:   Qizilqum   2-0

  1. Taraz vs. Kaspiy – Kazakhstan First Division

Here’s where we start to have to dig a little deeper in the world league scheds to find Relegation sadness to celebrate.

Like Belarus, the Kazakh top league is right in the middle strength-wise in Europe.  Here, we delve into that country’s second division.

Just one team will get Relegated from this league, and so far that team looks to be Kaspiy.  They and Aktobe Jas are well behind the pack.  Kaspiy’s offense appears to be good enough to compete well enough with other lower-half league teams, but they carry the worst defense.  #B Taraz can easily handle them on their own pitch.

RESULT:   Taraz   4-0

Image result for Aktau kazakhstan block

 

Aktau (Kaspiy’s home city) doesn’t use street names, just three-number addresses.

  1. Tallinna Kalev II vs. Flora II – Estonia Esiliiga

Oh Estonia, you make Noob swoon!   Top division – Meisttrliiga.  Second division – Esiliiga.  Your double i’s shine like no diamond ever could.

Noob’s not sure about the visiting side here, but TK’s squad is an under-21 bunch.  Currently they’re in 8th place.  Whichever club finishes in that position will have to win a playoff against a third-division team for the right to stay up. Flora II is #B.

Fun Fact:   Noob is and will always be enamored with ii.  Just search the site to see my many odes to ii.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Varketili vs. Matchakhela – Georgia Liga III

Georgian third division footyball is back on the Track!   Play your sad sack teams in Mondays, you get on Noob, plain and simple.

Not sure how many teams get booted out of this league annually, but the entire bottom half (ten) will participate in a Relegation Playout event.  These two have little chance of climbing into the top half, what being in 18th and last, respectively.  Varketili can’t play D, and that D is excellent compared to Matchkhela’s O.

Image result for sulfur bath tbilisi

 

So long from Tbilisi – “warm location” named for its sulfuric hot spring baths

’10 to Track’ soccer matches Midweek Edition (5/22-24) – adding more each day

Noob’s gonna roll out the ten most important matches for us – the newish American fans of the global game – to follow day by day this Midweek.  Teasing, then pleasing.  Or something.   (now complete)

Tuesday, 5/22

  1. LAFC vs. Borussia Dortmund – international friendly

With the league season wrapped up for many of the European clubs, now they can tour around!   This is an especially fun one because American superstar Christian Pulisic plays for the German side.

If both teams are trying their hardest, playing starters, it’s hard not to see LAFC as a two-goal underdog.  Noob’s heard it said that the difference between a top league like Germany’s Bundesliga and MLS is akin to Major League Baseball vs. low class-A minor league stuff.   (10:00 PM Eastern, FS1)

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for angry Mr. Shucks

 

 

Mr. Shucks (in beach night promotional attire) of low class-A Midwest League’s Cedar Rapids (IA) Kernels seems offended.

Actually, it’s hard to tell…

B.  Horoya vs. Mamelodi Sundowns – CAF Champions League

In Africa’s Champions League, he 16 remaining teams have been divided into pods of four.  Top two finishers advance to the Knockout stage.

This is just the second of the six matches for these two.  Horoya hail from Guinea, the 18th-ranked league in Africa.  Mamelodi are the powerhouse team from South Africa, the 5th-ranked league.  This is two matches in a row where the home side should be valued at -2 goals, INHO.

RESULT:   2-2

Image result for Guinea letter B

 

 

Number B as guinea pig food.

 

 

Wednesday, 5/23

  1. NTX Rayados vs. FC Wichita – U.S. Open Cup

Third Round of America’s FA Cup!  Last Round, the tier-two (USL) teams entered the competition.  One more, and the big boys (MLS) join the fray.  There are lots of matches this week, but Noob is featuring this one because it’s fun to follow the lower-rung clubs and this match features two.

The Rayados (“Stripes”, or maybe “Striped Ones”) are from the amateur North Texas Premier Soccer League.   FC Dallas Roma made it to the Fourth Round out of this league once, so a touch of history could be on their side.  FC Wichita play in the Heartland Conference of the fourth-tier NPSL, and are also of amateur status.

RESULT:   NTX   3-2     Rayados lead 2-0 before blowing that lead, then scoring the winner at 86′.

  1. Orlando Pride vs. North Carolina Courage – NWSL

The Orlando gals are in 3rd, get to host the league’s one remaining undefeated team today.  They had a rough start, not winning any of their first three matches, but haven’t loss since.

As tenured Noobites will know, there’s an absolute side to cheer for here.   It’s called “whoever’s playing a team from a Swamp City”.  Noob disavows you, bad urban planners!  Go, NC.

RESULT:   NCC   3-4     Courage wasted 0-1 and 1-3 leads before getting the final goal at 90′ mark.

Image result for urban swamp orlando

 

Actual photo of Orlando.

Your future looks bleak, mice-peoples.

  1. Dinamo Zagreb vs. Hajduk Split – Croatia FA Cup

The Final!   Neutral site, a city called Vinkovci.  Bottom-rung club Cibalia plays there, which is named after the former Roman name for the town.

These clubs finished 1st and 3rd in league play, respectively.  Strangely, neither have been playing very well of late though.  Zagreb’s the one that’s on the worse skid.

Noobstradamus Sees:  Split taking the match 0-1.  And their extra-hooliganish fans will maim at least two Zagreb supporters.

RESULT:   Zagreb   1-0

  1. Partizan vs. Mladost Lucani – Serbia FA Cup

Another Final!   Also a neutral site, city of Surdulica.

There was gulf in the table between the top and the bottom halves, and Lucani wasn’t even the best of the worst, finishing 11th.  And bad luck – they lost at this stadium to the host Superliga club in the last league match of the season.  Bad vibes.

Worse, Partizan were the #B league finisher.  The only good thing working for Lucani is their offense.  It gives them a puncher’s chance, to mix sports metaphors.

RESULT:   Partizan   1-2     FA Cup cham-PEENS!

Image result for mixed metaphor funny

 

 

Mixed metaphor.

  1. Dinamo Minsk vs. BATE Borisov – Belarus Premier

BATE Borisov is the one name to know from this country.  A dozen consecutive league titles, 7-0-0 this season, and a goals-scored/allowed of 12-1.  yet Minsk is the one team that might give them a fight, especially on their own turf.  They’re #B and finished there in 2017 as well.

Noobstradamus Sees:   …Minsk knocking BATE a little off their pedestal!   1-1.

RESULT:   BATE   0-1

  1. Pusaks FC Academy vs. Ujpest – Hungary FA Cup

And back to another Final!   Noob’s been taking these in in order general strength of soccer in each nation.

The NB1 league was a two-horse race this season, but neither of them got to this Final.  Instead, we get the 5th and 7th-place teams.  But what makes this super-fun is that Puskas is the youth team affiliated with league-winner Videoton.   It will take place in Budapest, where Puskas is from, though not on their home pitch.

RESULT:   Ujpest   2-2 /  4-5 PK         So close, kids!

Image result for hungarian kids playing football

 

“If you win the final, kids, you get pizza and ice cream after”.

 

 

Thursday, 5/24

  1. Atletico Nacional vs. Colo-Colo – Copa Libertadores

South America’s version of Champions League.    The Group Stage is concluding.  Pods of four teams, top two finishers advance to Knockout stage.  Here’s your midweek featured match for the CL:

Last match of the Group Stage, and Colombia’s top entrant – Atletico Nacional – leads the Group.  Chile’s second team in (and likely best, really) are just two points back and tied with another club.  To further thicken the soup, the last-place team still isn’t out of it at two more points back.

Atletico are the only team with a positive goal differential here.  They come out of the stronger league and soccer country, are likely favored by a goal.   (8:30 PM, Fox Deportes)

Noobstradamus Sees:   …that Atletico has lost two straight between CL and league play, are having trouble scoring.  That’s never a problem for Colo-Colo.  Visitors win 0-2!

RESULT:   0-0     Both clubs advance to the Knockout Stage.  3rd-place Bolivar won today and tied Colo-Colo on points in the table, but they were going to need a much bigger margin of victory today to catch up on GD.

  1. Wolfsburg vs. Lyon – UEFA women’s Champions League

The Final, in Kiev!

Wolfsburg hasn’t lost since November.  Noob didn’t easily find the last time Lyon lost a match.  They’re the three-time defending champs.  Until they lose, put your euros on the French ladies.  Wait, that came out wrong…

RESULT:   1-4   Lyon     Congrats to the champs!    It was a weird and then very wild match.  No one scored in regulation.  Then Wolfsburg scored at 93′.  And then Lyon went OFF.

Image result for Kiev funny

 

 

So long from Kiev!