Sodor Premier League news! Tim Howard who? 80-year old Sudric goalie announces retirement

January 30, 2019 – Arlesburgh, Sodor

Colin Lee, -80- year old goalie for Arlesburgh United Pirates Image result for soccer crest piratesof the Isle of Sodor Premier League has announced his retirement from competitive play.  When asked what he thought of the MLS Colorado Rapids‘ 39 year-old Tim Howard‘s hanging them up after the 2019 season, Mr. Lee gruffly said, “Blargh.  I have bunions older than that quitter.

This 2011 Daily Mail article details his full English career; click here)

In 2012, Mr. Lee Veteran: Colin Lee, 72, started playing football when he was just six years old and has now been regularly partaking in the beautiful game for an incredible 66 yearswas sacked as secretary for eight Northampton, England area teams and as keeper for his Sunday League squad.   His former Air Force Veterans’ teammate, 56 year-old Ollie Hight had this to say:

 

The guy was 72.   He did a lot of good, but it was time for him to bugger off, make room for up-and-comers like me.

Colin Lee then retired across the Walney Channel to Arlesburgh, in the northwest of Sodor.  Image result for Arlesburgh Sodor mapAs the oldest established town on the Isle, he found it suited him well.   Here, he continued his 50-plus year career as a goalie, only occasionally reverting to his youth position of centre half.

But Arlesburgh United find themselves in last place in this, the inaugural IoSPL season.   With Lee in a platoon at goalkeeper, the team has given up nearly seven goals per match, a staggering number even by loose-defense Sodor standards.

If the other team kicks it right at me, I’ve got a shot.   But they’ve figured out my weaknesses after having faced each club once on the year — I have trouble covering wide.  And high.  And low.   I can actually get low sometimes, but then I can’t get back up and they sub me out.

I hope Tim HowardImage result for Tim Howard retirement finds broadcasting dull and decides to replace me here.   Perhaps he can get the team promoted to Premier again next year.  Because we’re sure as shit getting sent down this season.”

 

’10 to Track’ Globetrotting Friday (10/12) soccer matches – from MLS to, well, everywhere

This was such a fun Track to write.  No one match jumps out above all others, but there’s a ton of fun and learning in today’s soccer travelog.

As always on Fridays, Noob starts us at or close to home, then we jet-set off to corners of the football globe ignored by most of the interwebs.  Feast.   Feast!!

  1. LAFC vs. Houston Dynamo – Major League Soccer

Los Angeles have pulled onto a tie for #B in the Western Conference with just three matches to go in the regular season.  Since the top two finishers get a bye out of the first round, that is high drama!   They’re actually still in 3rd, behind Sporting Kansas City on goal differential.

The Falcons suffered a puzzling loss two matches ago, getting blasted by the hapless Chicago Fire.  Even on the road, that’s not a club Playoff times should be getting blown out by.  But they did bounce back in their most recent match, skunking Colorado at their place, 0-3.

Houston have been eliminated from Playoff contention already.  They’ve played better ball of late, certainly highlighted by their U.S. Open Cup victory over Philly in the Final.  With that trophy in hand, it’s hard for Noob to imagine this the Dynamo matching LAFC’s energy, motivation.

For LAFC, the names to know have been Diego Rossi and Adama Diamonte.  The one Noob’s seen coming up more recently is Walker Zimmerman, a young defender from Georgia.  If he continues to be a consistent help in goal-scoring, this team will be hard to stop now and in the postseason.   (10:00 PM EST, ESPN+)

RESULT:   LAFC 4-2         The winning goal?    Walker Zimmerman

Image result for Walker Zimmerman funny

 

 

Hey, Walker, could you talk to Heinken about sponsoring Noob?

B.  Croatia vs. England – UEFA Nations Cup

Noob’s given some details a while back on this new European tournament, but I did not revisit them when previewing matches from it during this last Midweek Edition Track.  Here’s a wee bit:

This is a new event is meant to largely replace a bunch of friendlies all the teams are already playing anyway.  UEFA plans on having this played every other year.  All the men’s national teams in Europe may participate. The top 12-ranked teams play in four Groups comprising League A.  The next dozen play in League B, and on down the line.

Noob will detail particulars another time, but teams from all the Leagues within this Cup can use this tournament as another qualifying route into the next (2020) European Championships, the premier tournament for national teams which is held every four years.

So!  Croatia and England are currently FIFA-ranked #4 and #6 in the world, respectively.  In this competition, they are in League A (top league), Group 4 (arbitrarily numbered).   Both have a lot of catching up to do with the other Group member – Spain.`

Spain beat England 1-2 on the road and walloped World Cup runners-up Croatia 6-0 at home.  Only 1st place in each of these Groups get to move on to the League Playoffs.  The other two shall receive NO fruit cup.  None whatsoever.   (2:45 PM, ESPN2)

RESULT:   0-0     The draw all but guarantees that Spain will win this League A Group

Image result for letter B fruit

 

 

 

Number B – taunting those who will not receive fruit cup.

  1. U.S. Virgin Islands vs. Curacao – CONCACAF Nations League qualification

The six teams that played the final 2018 World Cup qualifying event (Hexagonal) already qualify for League A in the upcoming CONCACAF Nations League.  This tournament is being used to determine which other six teams will join them in League A.  The other teams will be placed in Leagues B and C, based on how they do this in qualifying tournament.

Each of the 34 teams in this event will play four matches, so goal differential could end up meaning a lot.  They’ll each play a match against another team club from each of the quartiles, which are based on a CONCACAF Rankings Index.  In other words, each team will play a roughly even cross-section of opponents, for fairness.

U.S. Virgin Islands are at a bit of a disadvantage.  On top of being only ranked #201 in the world, they don’t get to play any true “home” matches.  This is presumably because of the damage from Hurricane Maria.  So this and their other are being played in Bradenton, Florida.  They’re in the bottom quartile, lost their first match to Canadia 8-0.

Curacao – a country a ways off the coast of Venezuela and affiliated with the Netherlands politically – has a much stronger team, ranked #81.  In this event, they’re in the second quartile.  But their 10-0 trouncing of Grenada has them in 3rd place for now.

RESULT:   Curacao   0-5

Fun Fact:   US VI are “The Dashing Eagle”

  1. Algeria vs. Benin – Africa Cup of Nations

Unlike the above two tournaments, this is the premier national teams tournament for Africa, held every to years.  it is currently in its Group Stage.  Pods of four, double round robin, top two finishers will advance to the Knockout Stage.

They’re two matches into the Group Stage.  To no one’s surprise, the Algerians are 2-0.  Perhaps to the mild surprise of some, Benin have a win and a draw.  FIFA ranks them reasonably close together (#69. #88).  But the CAF lists Algeria as the fourth best team while not even listing Benin in the rankings (top 18).

This above discrepancy makes this tough for Noob to handicap.  But Algeria is good enough in a vacuum that at home they should be easily favored by a goal.  Benin would celebrate a draw, keeping them well ahead of Togo, probably the Group’s most likely candidate to advance as runner-up.

RESULT:   Algeria   2-0

Image result for benin surprise

 

 

Has to be this guy’s, oh, third Track appearance. 

Noob wants him on staff.

  1. CSD Macara vs. Delfin – Ecuador Serie A

HooWHEE!   That was a lot of mumbo-jumbo to try and digest.   Let’s cleanse our palate with some league action.

Macara are #1 in this Second Stage of the season.  The winners of each of the two stages vie for the league title.  They finished just 8th in the First Stage, so are something of a surprise here.  The defense has looked much better.   Their GD, however, belies a club that could easily be slipping back to midtable soon.

Delfin are tied for #B with another traditional league power, First Stage champs Emelec.  Statistically, they’re a little better than Macara.  Since that’s where the match is, this should be a dandy to watch – if you have a deep enough satellite package to catch this on GOL TV (9:00 PM).

RESULT:   1-1

Fun Fact:   Macara play in the city of Ambato.  They are named for an army fort.

  1. Tajikistan vs. Palestine – Bangabandhu Cup

The Final!   But the Final of what?

This tournament is a standalone event in Bangladesh.   Their football federation hosts this event every so often as a tribute to their nation’s founder, for whom it is named.  It was last held in 2016, the year before, and then before that last in the mid-90’s.

In the past, most participating countries have sent their national men’s teams reserves squad or elite youth teams.  This year, however, five of the six nations sent their A-clubs, including our two finalists.

Tajikistan’s team is ranked #120 in the world, while Palestine’s is #100.  They both advanced out of the same Group in that Stage.  Palestine won their matchup there 2-0.  But Noob smells a penalty shootout to decide this one!

RESULT:   Palestine   0-0  /  3-4 PK        Hail to the victors!

Bangabandhu Gold Cup logo.png

 

 

 

The pure, unadulterated joy of having started your own nation.

  1. Basque Country vs Venezuela – men’s international friendly

Noob proffers as mission statement that these Track’s embody “the ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game”.  Fridays, even I must confess the matches I include may not match up with that perfectly.

But this site is the outgrowth of my own soccer learning journey.   I think this is important because I didn’t know about it.  Let’s be global-game citizens!

The story here is “Basque Country”.  This team represents the autonomous, adjacent Basque areas of both Spain and France.  That said, the players are all from top Spanish clubs right now.  This team has existed since 1930, though they’ve only played an average of maybe three matches every two years.  Early in their existence, had Elo ratings been a thing, this team would’ve ranked #4 in the world!

The biggest non-FIFA football organization in the world is CONIFA, which represents peoples and teams from autonomous regions, national and regional diasporas, and stateless peoples.  Yet Basque Country has never been a member.

But they’re trying to get into FIFA!  And there’s at least indirect precedence for a team like theirs to be represented.   The United Kingdom serves as an example of one nation with multiple countries having membership.  And then places like Faroe Islands display that an autonomous country that is still truly a part of another nation (Denmark) can have membership.

Basque Country’s situation is apples to oranges to both examples above.  Still, they have commonalities with both.

As for today’s match?  It’s a friendly.  No idea how often BQ practices together.  The result isn’t what’s important, at least to Noob.   It’s that it’s happening at all that I love.

RESULT:   Basque Country   4-2

  1. Faafu Nilandhoo vs. New Radiant – Maldives Dhivehi Premier

And now we continue our journey to comparative footyball hinterlands once again with some far-flung leagues!   Maldives is an islands-nation southwest of southern India.  Their league is ranked just below average in Asia, 24th of 46 associations.

New Radiant are in 3rd place, but look statistically like the league’s best team.  Best offense and defense both.  Faafu Nilandhoo are in 8th of 10 clubs, on spot above the Relegation line.   Noob’s simply stunned that there’s at least one more league in the Maldives to which anyone could be sent down.

RESULT:   New Radiant   0-1

Fafà Picault.jpg

 

Never mind that he’s an American born to Haitian immigrants.

Noob thinks Philadelphia’s Fafa Picault needs to someday play for Faafa Nilandhoo.

  1. RC Bobo-Dioulasso vs. Comoe – Burkina Faso Premiere Division

This west African country’s league isn’t ranked on the continent.  And these two teams are low-midtable at #10 and #11.  And the season is just a few matches in.  But hey, they’re playing!

RESULT:   0-0

Fun Fact:   The Bobo language-speaking natives of Bobo-Dioulasso refer to the city simply as “Sia”.  Soooo much easier to pronounce.

  1. Al-Jaish vs. Al-Taliya – Syria Premier

This league is so fresh into its new season, Noob looked more at last year’s standings.  Al-Jaish won the league – by one goal in differential as a tiebreaker over Al-Ittihad.  And as the #15 league in Asia, they only get one club into their Champions League.  Al-Taliya finished 6th.

RESULT:       now listed for Monday, 10/29

Image result for Damascus funny

 

 

So long from Damascus, home of Al-Jaish!

Yeah, Noob doesn’t recall any banana peel-slippage story from the New testament.

’10 to Track’ Jetsetting Friday soccer matches – spanning the globe for footyball fun

Noob knows this is usually called “Globetrotting Friday”.  AND that “jetsetting” may not really be a word.   But we’re trying it on for size just the same.

With world scheds running a little lighter right before the weekend proper, Noob uses it as a chance for us to soccer-sightsee!  Let’s check out some local matches of import, than hit the tarmac and head for soccer hinterlands.

  1. LA Galaxy vs. LAFC – Major League Soccer

Rivalry Week!  “El Trafico”.  Los Angeles.  The Holy Spirit.  Soft sheets.  Counting.  Science.  Foodstuffs.

Whoa.  Noob started just free-associating there.   No belief in the necessity for editing here.

Better believe that the Galaxy need to get it together though.  They’ve been in a softer stretch of schedule this month and are not getting it done.  No wins in four matches has them tied for 5th.  The Remember: Only the top six in each conference get into the Playoffs.

LAFC are in 3rd, having recovered from their own tailspin.  Home cooking against Colorado and Real Salt Lake was tasty.

If the Galaxy are going to pull it together to stay afloat for a postseason, perhaps they should find a consistent lineup and formation on defense.  They’ve started wholly different folks and moved some around every match of late.

Perhaps Noob shouldn’t question Sigi Shmid – who has the most coaching wins in MLS history.  But he can come to me if he has an issue with it.   (10:30 PM EST, ESPN)

RESULT:   1-1       Zlatan got a goal in the first half, and should’ve been given a second yellow and sent off later.  Shenanigans!

Image result for twizzle la galaxy mascot

 

 

 

Fun Fact:   This is Twizzle, the original Galaxy mascot.

His replacement is a less humanoid-looking guy named Cozmo.

B.  Atlas vs. Guadalajara – Liga MX

Guadalajara was so bad last season, Mexico’s football federation changed the rules concerning promotion and relegation just to make sure this big money club didn’t get stuck down in the Ascenso league.  They’re looking much better, average early this season.  9th place currently.

Atlas.  Noob would chastise you not winning a game yet.  But before we can even get to that stage, score a goal.  Their next will be their first of 2018-19.  And it’s not like the defense is any good, either.  I waggle my finger at you, Atlas.   (10:00 PM, Unimas)

RESULT:   Guad Squad   0-1

Image result for letter B map

 

 

Not bad, Number B!    Looking atlas page-y today.

  1. Queretaro vs. Necaxa – Liga MX Femenil

Perhaps the gals of Necaxa could lend Atlas some advice.  After all, they’ve scored this season.  Once…

Now, Queretaro actually find the back of the net more than once per match on average.  But if they’re going to be anything but low-end mediocre, they’ve got to stop giving up almost three game.  What’s Spanish for “oof dah”?

Fun Fact:   One older translation of “Queretaro” is “island of blue salamanders”.  Odd-seeming, for an area in the middle of the country.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Motagua vs. Portmore United – CONCACAF League

The winner of this tournament gets into the CONCACAF Champions League.  The participants are all from Central America and the Caribbean subregions.  The matchups are all two-legged ties, and they’re in the Quarterfinals now.

Honduras’ top entrant is Motagua.  Last Round, they put the kibosh hard on Costa Rica’s Santos de Guapiles.  Portmore qualified by finishing third in the Jamaican Premier.  In the Round of 16, they squeaked by Belmopan Bandits out of Belize.

Even the rawest of Noobites will surely recognize Motagua is a heavy favorite, especially at home here in the first match of the tie.

RESULT:    Motagua   3-2       The hosts went up 2-0 in the first half, then had to get a second goal from Juan Pablo Montes at 90’+5 to win.

C.D. Motagua badge.png

 

 

Frustrating Fact:   Darn birds are always stealing soccer balls!

  1. Bayern Munich vs. TSG Hoffenheim – Bundesliga

The opening match of Germany’s season!  And we get a shiny one.  Bayern ran away with the league title last season.  They scored half again as many goals are 3rd-place TSG and gave up only half as many goals.  But it’s a new year, and if any club can make a contender’s claim, it’s the visitors today.   (2:30 PM, FS1)

Fun Fact:  In the 1990’s. Bayern was given the nickname “FC Hollywood”, as they were not playing well but the players were all over the tabloids.

RESULT:   Bayern   3-1

  1. Middlesbrough vs. West Bromwich Albion – English Championship

To England!  No Premier League action today, but the lone ECL match includes a club that was just demoted from there last year.  West Brom didn’t average even a goal per game in finishing last.

Middlesbrough made a run last year at getting Promoted up to Premier status.  They finished 5th in the league, got to play in a fo- team mini-tournament for the right to advance.  For second division, their offense was very good and their defense even a little better.  They’ll be in the running for Promotion again in all likelihood.

RESULT:   Middlesbrough   1-0

Image result for Middlesbrough fc female supporters

 

Fun Fact:   Middlesbrough have one of the highest percentage female fan bases in all England.

  1. CIE Ranch vs. University College Dublin FC – FAI Cup (Ireland)

Ireland’s FA Cup is in its Second Round, and here we have a battle of 1st-place squads.  UCD lead the countries second division league by four points.   But these Cups are all about finding Minnows, underdogs to root for!

CIE Ranch play In the Leinster Senior League., which is all greater Dublin-clubs.  Noob thinks this puts them in the third tier in the country, if they play in the top division within that league.  Theirs is the Sunday Premier division, so it likely is.  And they lead it by seven points, on the backs of their leading defense.

Ultimately, we’re talking about pros – even the collegiate UCD ones – versus amateurs.  Still, goooOOOO Fighting Inchicorians!  (Did Noob get the suburban demonym correct?)

Morbid Fact:   The jail in or near Inchicore is where the leaders of the historic Easter Rising were executed.

RESULT:   UCD   2-6       Weird match!   The Ranch actually went up 2-0 early!  UCD got one back still in the first half.    Then at 75′, a Ranch’er got a red card.  You can see what happened after that.

  1. Kopetdag Asgabat vs. Energetik – Turkmenistan Yokary Liga

Turkmenistan’s top league is halfway down the Asian rankings.  That’s deep enough that they don’t even get an automatic entry into the next AFC Champions League.

Not that these two would get it anyway.  They’re 7th and 4th (of eight) halfway or so through the league season.  Good thing there’s no Relegation in this league.  Asgabat can’t score a lick.

RESULT:   Energetik   0-1

Image result for kopet dag mountains

 

 

Fun Fact:  Ashgabat is the city name, while Kopet Dag are the mountains seen here.

  1. Ventspils vs. Riga FC – Latvia Higher League

It’s a tie for #B in table in UEFA’s 41st-ranked league.  Hey – they’re playing.   On Fridays, these are the fun ones for Noob.

RFS – the city of Riga’s top team – is likely hoping these two will just draw.  They lead both by seven in the table.  FC play small ball, so if they can control the pace, a 0-0 tie is certainly a reasonable expectation.  Ventsplis relies a little more on their own D than goal-scoring as well.

Fun Fact:  Venstspils is the wealthiest city in the country, thanks to its ice-free port on the Baltic sea.

RESULT:   Riga FC   0-1

  1. Floriana vs. Silema Wanderers – Malta Premier

Just a couple notches further down the European league rankings we find Malta.   This match doesn’t carry quite the importance in the standings as Latvia’s featured match, but it’s no less fun to go exploring.

The Maltese league season is just starting anew.  Last year, these two were 6th and 7th place.  That said, there was a fair bit of a gap between them in points, and a larger one in GD.  If their relative strengths remain the same, Floriana should have more than enough firepower to get the W today.

RESULT:   Silema   0-1

Image result for jason derulo funny

 

So long from Noob and Jason Derulo!

Floriana the town has hosted MTV Europe’s “Isle of MTV” festival 11 years running.”  Derulo will headline this year.

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – three days of your footyball fix

The 10 most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game.  Noob delights in them, and hopes you do as well.

All the leagues we care about most are in action now.  Soon, the Midweek Edition will be expanded in glory once again to three separate days.

Tuesdays match previews and results follow below Wednesday’s.

Also, please consider following Noob on Twitter:  SoccerNoobUSA.  Thanks.

  1. LAFC vs. Real Salt Lake – Major League Soccer

As yesterday, Noob takes us out West for a pivotal match.  Expansion-LAFS looked so very good for a couple months.  Have they been solved?  They haven’t won a league match since early July.  Other than a scoreless draw at home against Portland, they’ve allowed 2+ goals every time out.  They’re in 5th, but fading, and only the top six make the Playoffs.

Speaking of 6th, here we find RSL.  They should’ve been feasting on a weak stretch of their schedule lately, but have only nibbled.   They haven’t lost in their last four, but only won once.  Goal-scoring remains an issue for them, and Vancouver and Seattle are licking their chops behind them.

RSL’s fall should, of course, be destined.  Noob’s ranted before and shouts to the heavens yet again:  No “real” in Amuricuh!  Royal?   We carry no truck with monarchs this side of the Pond.  Remember that war?

RESULT:   LAFC   2-0      Christian Ramirez – a name Noobites need to know – scored both goals.

  1. Seattle Reign vs. Chicago Red Stars – National Women’s Soccer League

The top half of NWSL’s eight-team league makes the Postseason, and Chicago are making a push to be included.  They’re in 5th, have gotten two wins – and an impressive draw against 1st-place North Carolina – in their last three outings.

The Reign are in the midst of a solid run as well, seem to be shoring up the #B spot.  That’s critical, because finishing 4th would mean getting North Carolina in the first Playoff round.  Only sadness and the never-ending Void are to be found there.

RESULT:   0-0      *The Price is Right” loser-sounder*

Image result for The Void funny

 

Noob – home of all soccer serious content, all the time…

  1. Tijuana vs. Juarez – Copa MX

See Tuesday’s Copa MX match preview for format and such.

‘Cause Noob wants to get straight to ogling Tijuana’s seemingly new and improved defense.  I can tell you’ve been working out Tijuana.  Would you mind doing a slow, goal-keeping spin?  Oh yes.  The results are obvious.   Mmm hmmm.

Yes, that got weird.  Noob knows.  Noob has no cares!  Tijuana didn’t make the Clausura (second half-season) Liguilla (postseason tournament) this year, but the climbed to midtable.  How?  Los Xolos cut their opponents goals by half while maintaining their previous offensive output.

Now they’re tied for first in this Group with Ascenso MX’s Juarez.  “The Brave Ones” nearly win the 2017-18 Apertura before falling on their faces in the Clausura.  And while the 2018 Apertura is only a few matches in, they’re in first.  No matter which team shows up, it’s still a road match against a Liga MX squad.  Tijuana by two goals today.

RESULT:   Tijuana   3-1

  1. Real Madrid vs. Atletico Madrid – UEFA Super Cup

Domestic Super Cups typically pit a league’s defending champions against that country’s most recent FA Cup winner.  The international European version here is the latest Champions League winners against the Europa League champs.  A small oddity, Atletico actually finished higher in last year’s La Liga table than Real.  (#3, #B).

They’re playing this in Tallinn, Estonia of all places.

RESULT:   Atletico   2-4   AET         Diego Costa for Atletico had both Atletico’s goals in the first 90′.

Image result for Where am I? funny

 

 

We’re right here in Estonia.

Noob hears it’s Super.

  1. Toronto FC vs. Vancouver Whitecaps – Canadiaian Championship

This is the second leg of the Final.  The winner gets Canadia’s berth in the next CONCACAF Champions League.  Only four teams have been vying for it annually.  These are the 7th and 9th place teams in their respective MLS conferences.

The first match in Vancouver ended 2-2.  Vancouver, though, has won three of their last five matches with no losses in that run.  Defending league champs Toronto will have anything but a gimme today playing this on their home pitch.

RESULT:   Toronto   5-2      Toronto is once again Champions League-bound

  1. Vissel Kobe vs. Sanfrecce Hiroshima – Japan J1 League

Noob ends today’s Tracking in the land of the rising sun.  Hiroshima barely missed getting Relegated in 2017, yet lead the league this year by eight in the table.  Kobe are improved as well, 4th now versus low-end midtable last year.  Only two will make the AFC Champions League.  KV look unlikely to really get in the running, behind #3 Kawasaki by seven.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for Kobe Japan weird

 

So long from Kobe, and from Tetsujin 28-go!

(Fine, “Gigantor”, if you must.)

 

 

Thursday

Go, be free!  If the international friendly between Guatemala and Cuba tickles your fancy, perhaps Noobites can Google up an internet stream.  As for Noob – see you on Friday!

Tuesday

  1. L.A. Galaxy vs. Colorado Rapids – Major League Soccer

On August 4, Colorado hosted and beat the Galaxy 2-1.  The 11th-place Rapids have now won two in a row, tying their longest streak in a lousy year.

Los Angeles sort of rebounded from that loss, earning just a draw at home against improving Minnesota United.  They’re till tied for 4th, but even a top-six finish is far from guaranteed.  The middle of the Western Conference is packed like a sardine can.

While the Galaxy’s back line haven’t been golden of late, it’s the goalkeeping that’s really let them down.  Backstop David Bingham has been anything but, having allowed multiple goals in their last four matches.   (10:30 PM EST, ESPN+)

RESULT:   2-2

Image result for david bingham

 

 

Will Bingham even be able to keep goals from being scored in his pie-hole?

B.  AEK Athens vs. Celtic – UEFA Champions League

This is the Third Qualifying Round of Europe’s premier club tournament.

These two faced off about a week ago, playing to a 1-1 draw in Scotland.  This is the second-match of the two-legged tie.  It always seems like Celtic struggle mightily in international competition.   Hard for Noob to think the Greeks won’t take care of business at home today.

The winner will get either Malmo from Sweden or Hungary’s MOL Vidi in the “Playoff Round”.

RESULT:   AEK   2-1

Image result for B is for business

 

 

 

Number B taking care of its own business as we quest to replace worn out old Number Two.

  1. Leon vs. Zacatecas – Copa MX

The Group Stage continues in the first of two Copas to be played during the 2018-19 season.  Pods of three.  Winners and most of the runners-up will advance to the Knockout Round.

If you know Noob, you know I love rooting for Minnows.  Halfway through the Group Stage, second-division Zacatecas are tied with both Liga MX’s Leon and Queretaro in the table.  The “Mineros” will be doing well, though, to keep today’s match within a goal.  Even against a weaker Liga MX club like Leon.   (8:00 PM, ESPN Deportes)

RESULT:   Leon   2-1

  1. UANL vs. Monterrey – Liga MX Femenil

UNAL won the 2017-18 Clausura (second half-season) after a 3rd-place regular season finish.  Today the Pumas host the team that won that Clausura regular season.  UANL had the third-best offense last year, though with a sizable gap between them and the top two.

RESULT:   2-2

Image result for biggest GAP store

 

“Sizable GAP”.

Nice work, Nashville

 

 

Wednesday and Thursday

coming soon!

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Globetrotting Friday (6/1) – MLS, World Cup pre-matches lead the way

TGIGF!

The ten most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game – spans the globe once again!  As always, we start close to home, then jetset off for important matches worldwide, plus find some hinterland footyball action in some corner of the globe.

  1. Colorado Rapids vs. Vancouver Whitecaps – MLS

Colorado are in last place in the West.   The issue isn’t their goalkeeping, as they have one of the all-time American greats in backstop Tim Howard.  They just can’t score.  They’re not Seattle Sounders-bad on offense, but not at all good.

Vancouver sits in 7th, just outside the playoff picture.   They may be about to get starting goalkeeper – New Zealander Stefan Marinovic – back from a knee injury that’s kept him out nearly all of May.  Backup Brian Rowe has been a disaster.   (9:00 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 6, Altitude Sports)

RESULT   Vancouver   1-2

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We know, Stefan.  May’s been tough to watch.

B.  RoPS vs. HJK – Finland Veikkausliga

Defending league champs and #1 visits #B in match Number B.    This is how it should be.  if you enjoy European soccer, get to know the Laplandic leagues.  They’re going to be some of our main summer fare.  You know, outside World Cup, of course.

Fun Fact:   RoPS is infamous for its relatively recent history of being involved in match-fixing.  Some Singaporean jerk-o actually got two years in prison.

RESULT:   HJK   1-2

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Number B, hanging out on the skin of Finnish fighter plane.

  1. Cork City vs. Waterford – League of Ireland Premier

Waterford had a brilliant and surprising start to their season, but are falling back from the top two now.  They did beat 4th-place Derry City in their most recent match.  But a week ago against the second-to-last club…Noob must express himself in rhyme.

Waterford lost to Limerick/ by a score to make anyone sick/ 3-6 at their place/ cover your face!/ Maybe poetry isn’t Noob’s shtik…

Fun Fact:  Waterford’s name seems redundant, but the first part actually comes from an Old Norse word for “ram”.

RESULT:   Cork   3-0

  1. France vs. Italy – friendly

You think the ‘Muricuhns are upset about missing out on the World Cup for the first time since 1986?  The Italians are having what will be a summer-long conniption.  They invented football.  The French side has looked good in wins against Russia and Ireland, both sides of the ball.   (3:00 PM, ESPN Deportes)

RESULT:   3-1

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You would do well to embrace your pain, young one.

  1. Australia vs. Czech Republic – friendly

Australia are headed to WC, and this is a good match for them.  It won’t prepare them for the level of competition they’ll face most of the time in Russia, but they’re both ranked in the 40’s by FIFA.  Good competition that won’t overwhelm them.

RESULT:   Australia   4-0

  1. Tunisia vs. Turkey – friendly

Noob thought Egypt was up there, but Cup-bound Tunisia is far and away the best-ranked national side in Europe (#14).  They haven’t lost a match since at least last June, and eked out a draw a few days ago against a really strong Portugal side (ranked #4).  Turkey are #37.

RESULT:   2-2

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Forgiveness will be long in coming over your abandonment of Star Wars sets, Tunisia.

  1. Egypt vs. Colombia – friendly

Speak of the devil!  Egypt is also heading to Russia, but they haven’t performed that well of late.  Just a week ago, they only managed a draw against Kuwait.  Kuwait!   FIFA-#146, exactly 100 spots lower.

Colombia are pretty average for a South American team, but still top-20 worldwide.  They won’t be facing a particularly tough Group to start at World Cup.  And they just notched an impressive win over France.  Expectations are rising.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. South Korea vs. Bosnia and Herzegovina – friendly

South Korea will have a much tougher time when WC play starts.  Germany, Mexico, even Sweden are all of a much higher quality.  B&H are about on par with Sweden, so this will give S.K. a taste of what they’ll face on the lower end.

RESULT:   B&H   1-3

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Psy is more excited about this than his national team.

  1. Botswana vs. Mauritius – COSAFA Cup

Reminder:  This is a tournament for nations in southern Africa being hosted in South Africa.  The top six ranked participating teams got byes into the quarterfinals.  The other eight have been competing in two Groups of four each.  The two winners will advance.

Botswana lead their Group by a point over Mauritius and Angola as they all head into their third and final match of this stage.  Malawi was the highest-ranked of these four coming in, but they are out of the mix.

RESULT:   6-0

  1. US Forces Armees vs. Etoile Filante – Burkina Faso Premier

What Globetrotting Friday would be complete without heading off to at least one exotic locale for a league match?  This is not one of Africa’s better national leagues, but who cares!  Heading into the weekend, we’re about learning here.

AS Fonctionnaires have already wrapped up the title with two matches to go.  But the battle for #B is as tight as they come!   Etoile Filante lead two teams by just a point in the table and then two more by two points.  USFA is one of the latter.  Filante play the league’s best D.  USFA score well, but play no D at all just about.  Pace control decides this one today.

RESULT:   2-2

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So long from Polokwane, South Africa!

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