Tag: Copa Argentina

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition (12/4-6) soccer match previews – Copa Argentina Final completes our Track

The Midweek Edition now stands complete at ten.   There was just one match needed for Thursday to complete the set.

Tuesday and Wednesday’s matches and results now follow further down.

Please consider following Noob on Twitter @SoccerNoobUSA.com.  Inquire for details on how to possibly join footyball discussions with cool cats on Bros Talking Soccer’s new Slack.   And click an ad , if you are so inclined.  Some of the stuff is even soccer-related!

Back again tomorrow for Globetrotting Friday!

Thursday

10. Rosario Central vs. Gimnasia LP – Copa Argentina

The Final! And this match is a one-off in Mendoza – a neutral location. Noob is continually surprised that outside Europe in particular that such otherwise weak-seeming teams advance to title matches. Rosario are in 14th of 28 Primera league teams and Gimnasia in 21st. The winner gets much more than a few pesos and a trophy. There’s a qualification to the next Copa Libertadores up for grabs!

Trying to get excited for this one, but it may be tough to watch. Rosario doesn’t score much, and they look like an offensive juggernaut compared to Gimnasia. Catch this one at 7:10 PM Eastern on TyC Sports International if you dare. And have a deep enough satellite TV package.

RESULT:   Rosario   1-1  /  4-1 PK’s        All hail the Argentine champs!

Image result for Mendoza argentina weirdSo long from Mendoza!

At least you can stay in a cool vineyard “hotel” when visiting.

 

Wednesday

3. Monterrey vs. Cruz Azul – Liga MX

Semifinals time in the Apertura (first half-season) Liguilla (playoffs)!

This this Round will also feature two-legged ties, same as the Quarters did. Regular season #1 Cruz Azul gets the honor of hosting the second leg of the home-and-away series, which means they open in Monterrey today.

Cruz Azul haven’t lost since October 20. They’d won five straight matches until finishing off their quarterfinal draw with a 1-1 draw last time out. Plenty of teams score as much or more than C.A., but none defend like them (just 13 goals given up in the 17-match regular season).

Monterrey haven’t proven to be quite as good on either side of the ball. But as one would imagine, they’re not that far off C.A.’s pace, given that they made the playoffs. They’ve not lost in five matches. But they’ve not beaten Cruz Azul in nine consecutive tries.

RESULT:   Monterrey   1-0                 Make that once in their last ten tries!

4. Manchester United vs. Arsenal – English Premier League

Arsenal just had a big, God-ordained win in the North London derby. After doing the Lord’s work in defeating named-for-an-historical-traitor (Harry Percy) Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur, can they get pumped up again for Man Utd.?

Man Utd have had a dismal year compared to expectations, the usual-title contenders wallowing in 8th place right now. They haven’t won a league match in a month. None of this has been a fluke, either, as they’re struggling on both sides of the ball. For this team to rise again, the great goalkeeper David de Gea is going to need to lead the way. Defense has been even weaker than offense on the season.

Arsenal are in 4th, which is the number of clubs EPL will qualify for the next Champions League. One would point out their offense as the best around if it weren’t for league #1 Man City blowing everyone out of the water in that department. Defense has been spotty for them, too, at least compared to other table-top clubs. German international Bernd Lemo has decidedly been the weak link. Looking for a shootout today.   (3:00 PM Eastern, NBCSN)

RESULT:   2-2

Image result for Sir Topham Hatt happy

 

Sir Topham Hatt cannot be cross so soon after a Hotspur loss.

5. Atletico Junior vs. Atletico PR – Copa Sudamericana

The Final! And crap on a cracker, Noob would’nt have been passing on covering this event had I not had bad info stuck in my head.

This tournament is the equivalent of Europa League, a tournament below the level of Champions League – or, in South America – Copa Libertadores. Noob did not think the winner of Sudamericana automatically qualified for the following years Libertadores, but they do. And that’s some high stakes.

Columbia’s Junior started in the this year’s Libertadores. After finishing 3rd place in their pod in the Group Stage there, they were dropped into this event. They’ve been very strong in their domestic league statistically, yet are just in 6th place right now. Trouble closing out the close matches, anyone?

Atletico Paranaense only qualified for this event, were not dropped down from following a Libertadores round. They just finished the Brazilian season one spot (7th) out of qualifying for the next Libertadores already.

Based on general knowledge of the pecking order of domestic leagues in South America and Elo ratings from footballdatabase.com, it seems fair to say Junior are an even match at best at home today.

RESULT:   1-1

6. Zamora vs. Deportivo Lara – Venezuela Premier

This is the second leg of the Serie Final, which pits the playoff champions from the Apertura and Clausura stages of the season against one another. The first match was played at Lara and ended in a 1-1 draw.

If one is interested in a couple extra details, scroll down to the Leg One match preview from 12/2. Suffice it to say here and now that Zamora are the hotter team the second half of the year and most definitely favored today at home.

RESULT:   Zamora   4-1          2018 Venezuelan chamPEEENS will dance with that sexy disco robot from the future of 1984

Winners get to party at KirovBar, Barinas (home of Zamora FC) for disco and with this guy….thing!

7. Ulsan Hyundai vs. Daegu FC – (South) Korean FA Cup

The Final! First leg, anyway. Second one will be at Daegu. In Europe, FA Cup winners typically just qualify for the secondary Europa League tournament. Here, the winner not only qualifies for the next AFC Champions League, they’ll enter at the Group Stage (the latest any team enters).

Ulsan finished the K League 1 in third place. That’s just high enough to net them an AFC CL berth, but not as late as the Group Stage. They have to play their way into that as things stand now, via a “playoff round”.

Daegu finished just 7th, didn’t qualify for squat. They’re not nearly as good on either side of the ball as Ulsan, but particularly trail them in goal-scoring.

That said, Daegu haven’t lost in any of their last seven matches across all competitions. They enter vastly hotter than Ulsan. Noob thinks Daegu are easily an even match for Ulsan, maybe even should be favored, given all the momentum they have.

RESULT:   Daegu   1-2            #7 in the league, but #1 in our FA Cup-hearts!   

8. Northeast United vs. Bengaluru – India Super League

Reminder: India has two top-flite leagues. The other is the I-League. ISL is the one that does not have promotion/relegation. It was created under more of an MLS-like franchise model to promote soccer in the country. They do not qualify teams into international competition like AFC Champions League.

But that doesn’t mean this #B-#1 matchup is any less shiny and alluring! Top four will make the league playoffs. Bengalaru are still undefeated eight matches into the season. They have a game in hand on Northeast, on top of leading them by four points in the table. These teams are the cream of the crop defensively, so look for a low-scoring affair today.   (9:00 AM, Asianet Movies)

RESULT:   1-1        Bengaluru saved their undefeated record at 90′ with a goal

Image result for shiny things funny

 

That… doesn’t feel relevant…

Who’s doing images around here now, anyway? 

Noob missed Dan the Intern-Inferno.

9. Turbine Potsdam vs. VfL Wolfsburg – Frauen-Bundesliga

Lyon may be the #1 women’s team in Europe, but it’s Germany’s top league that ranks most highly. And no German team is mightier than Wolfsburg – 10-0-0 so far.

Top two will qualify for the next women’s UEFA Champions League. That second slot looks likely to either go to Potsdam or Bayern Munich. No one’ going to get Wolfsburg though. After all, they’ve outscored opponents 46-2 so far. Good golly.

RESULT:   1-1         The leaders can bleed, they’re human!

Tuesday

1. UANL vs. Guadalajara – Liga MX Femenil

Time for the second leg of the Apertura (first half-season) Semfinals! All four teams are in action today. This matchup intrigues Noob a little more because UANL are undefeated. Guadalajara got a 1-1 draw at their own place, no small feat.

Matching up with the league’s best on their own turf likely to be a whole other matter. UANL scored over three goals per match during the regular season, 2/3 again as many as Guadalajara, and while playing about the same caliber of defense.

RESULT:   UANL   5-3        On to the finals!

B. Montpelier vs. Lille – Ligue 2

Paris Saint-Germain are still undefeated, miles ahead of the pack. So the race is on for just two more Champions League berths. Lille have fallen to 4th, not having one in any of their last five outings. They’ve been outscored 8-3 over that time. Montpelier are #B in the table.

RESULT:   Lille   0-1        Lille jump up to # B

But wait, just two matches to start the week?  Yup.   Sounds like more high-quality content that soccer lovers everywhere want.   It’s time for a —

NOOB SANDWICH REVIEWOOB!

Last installment of NOOB SANDWICH REVIEWOOB, Noob took Subway to task over there new steak sandwich on sunflower bread, a catastrophe if ever there was one.

Today’s featured sammich is much close to home for Noob.  My six year-old daughter – PersonNoob -created this one recently.

What you’re seeing is four pieces of wheat bread in a

 

single stack.   Each is liberally covered with strawberry jelly.  Here pictured, I’ve removed the top layer to show what she has smashed inside — a Little Bites “birthday cake”-flavored mini-muffin.

We know from “Fizzy’s Lunch Lab” television program that “wheat is sweet”.  But four pieces?   I applaud PersonNoob’s creativity, but one only needs more than two if you’re layering the sammich in different ways between slices.  I blame myself as a parent.

The mini-muffins are fine as prepackaged fare goes.  Certainly eaten my share of ones PN hasn’t finished on our way to her school.

To my surprise, the sweet jam and the “birthday” aspect of the muffin didn’t make this sickeningly sweet, at least not at the first bite.    Yes, I tried it, though only ventured that one bite.  As you might imagine, the texture was just straight up waaaay too much bread.

So does Noob dare really rate a sandwich his own sweet daughter created?   You betcha.   And while this is the highest rating I’ve yet given a sandwich, the finished product still didn’t do all that well.

On the Noob Sammich Review sammich rating scale of one to five Sammiches, I rate the “Extra-Tall Wheat Jelly and Birthday Cake Mini-Muffin Sandwich” at just 1.5 Sammiches.

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition (11/27-29) soccer match previews – MLS Semis end the MWE!

“The ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game” – hit their peak of importance today. MLS Semifinals! After tonight, we’ll know who’s playing for the big trophy.

Tuesday and Wednesday’s match results follow below. Remember you can always check back for results on every single day, plus often a note or two about who starred, or how the results affected what was at stake.

Thursday

9. Sporting Kansas City vs. Portland Timbers – Major League Soccer

Second leg of the Western Conference Finals! While any team would of course like to get a road win every time, #1 KC got the draw in Portland in the first match of this two-game series. Now they have the chance to take care of business at home.

But that scoreless draw has to be troubling for them. Goalkeeper Tim Melia of USMNT fame played well and Graham Zusi was a monster on the back defensive line. But Noob highlighted Daniel Salloi for that first match and instead of starring, he was the weak link, losing duels and not being terribly good with passes.

The 5th-seed Portland was better on passing, held the ball longer, and created more shots on goal. That didn’t and won’t matter if they can’t get better play from striker Jeremy Ebobisse though.

Ultimately, it’s hard to beat home cookin’. KC did what was necessary, if just, and should be a moderate to heavy favorite at home.   (9:30 PM Eastern, ESPN)

RESULT:   Portland    2-3           Diego Valeri with two Timbers goals, including the game winner at 90′

10. New York Red Bulls vs. Atlanta United – Major League Soccer

Some are calling the Eastern Conference finals the de facto league finals. Both teams had several more point in the the table than K.C.

#B Atlanta laid the smack down at their place in the first leg of this overall Semi, 3-0. Franco Escobar was the slightly-surprisng star with both a goal and an assist. This club has the best offense in the entire league. It will be interesting to see if they keep dancing with the girl that brought them and continue attacking, or try to take the air out of the ball with such a big lead from the first leg.

NYRB have a HYOOJ hole to dig themselves out of. Lots of goals will certainly mean the involvement of BrandonWright-Phillips, who looked like an MVP the first half of the MLS season. Not that he tanked after that, but his effectiveness definitely diminished. But if the right side of Red Bulls’ back line get manhandled again (Tim Parker, Michael Murillo), BWP’s possible resurgence won’t matter.   (7:00 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   NYRB   1-0         But it’s not enough!    ATL will host the single-match Final versus Portland.

Image result for the world of red bull funnySo long from…wherever the Red Bull box cart races were held.

Yeeeah.  Wow.

 

Extra Credit: Two Liga MX qf’s, a couple dozen group stage Europa league matches, Copa Sudamericana sf, El Salvador and Guatemala qf’s, second round Arab Club Championship

Wednesday

3. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur vs. Inter Milan – UEFA Champions League

You can scroll down to the Tuesday portion of the Midweek Track for a few extra details on the event, should you be a completely unseasoned Noobite.

Noob-reviled Hotspur is nearly out of Champions League, as is good, right and appropriate. When your club is named for an historic traitor (Harry Percy), good things cannot follow.

The scourge of England’s Premier League, Hotspur trail Inter by three points in the table and won the first match between them (tiebreaker). Since Hotspur’s remaining match other than this one is at #1 Barcelona, they’re in desperate need of a win today.

Hotspur are winners of five straight across all competitions. Inter are in just 5th in Italy’s Serie A. Where Hotspur lack a little offensive punch compared to many other top teams, Inter have been sagging on defense. Bad matchup for the visitors, sadly.   (3:00 PM Eastern, TNT)

RESULT:   Hotspur   1-0

Image result for sir topham hatt furious

 

 

Sir Topham Hatt — flexing the pimp hand.  Gotta keep it strong for those Hotspur COYS.

 

4. Paris Saint-Germain vs. Liverpool – UEFA Champions League

This is the most competitive Group going here. Liverpool and Napoli are tied for first. PSG are just a point behind and Red Star Belgrade only a point behind them in turn.

PSG are running roughshod over Ligue 1 – no losses or draws. Yet many people Noob reads suggest the league is not very good this year. Liverpool have yet to lose in Champions League, putting them in second place there. Neither team allow goals.

Both teams are stronger than the ones in Track Match three here. If either doesn’t qualify for the Knockout Round, that’s big news.   (3:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   PSG   2-1

5. Porto vs. Schalke – UEFA Champions League

Three matches from one event? Thought you were filtering event like these, Noob.

Oh, but I am. But I won’t ignore important ones this late in the Group Stage just for the sake of it. Porto is Portugal’s #1 team. That doesn’t make them one of the very strongest clubs remaining, but they won’t be a pushover for anyone next round. They’re dominating the Primeira Liga and can score and defend amazingly.

Germany’s Schalke trail Porto by two in the Group C table. An upset win today would guarantee them a berth in the Knockout Round. And it would be a remarkable upset at that. In the Bundesliga, they’re playing so darn badly that they’re fighting just to stay out of the Relegation Zone.

They don’t defend half badly, but they didn’t wow on offense last year and don’t score much at all now. Still, they lead the Group 3rd-place team by four, seem likely to sneak out of the Group Stage no matter how today goes.

RESULT:   Porto   3-1

Image result for schalke 04 funny

 

 

 

Is that the German Mr. Magoo?

 

6. Monterrey vs. Santos – Liga MX

Let the playoffs begin! This is the Liguilla. The eight best teams from the Apertura (first half-season) qualified. This is a bracketed tournament. Each pair of teams will play two-legged, home-and-away series.

It is seeded just like the NCAA basketball tourney would be, and this is your 4/5 matchup. Santos has been a shade better on both sides of the ball. More, they haven’t lost to Monterrey in their last three matches. But Monterrey haven’t lost in three matches, while Santos didn’t win in any of their last three.   (10:06 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Monterrey    1-0

7. Saprissa vs. Herediano – Costa Rica Premier

This is CONCACAF’s third-strongest league. They might argue they’re better than MLS. Mexicans might argue their second division league is better. Regardless, this is a sneaky-good football league.

And the Playoffs are already underway! The top four qualified for this postseason tournament. Apertura regular season champs Saprissa host this second match of the home-and-away Semifinal series. Herediano – the other perennial power here – finished 4th, won the first leg 1-0 at their place.

Saprissa was better on both sides of the ball all Apertura, but particularly so on offense. That one-goal deficit should be one they can overcome today, move on to the Final.

RESULT:   Saprissa   1-0       …which means the series was tied and they moved on to penalty kicks!    Herediano advances to the final on those, 2-4

Image result for costa rica premier logo

 

 

One foot-sport, one heart.  

But the logo’s more than a little puffy-nipply.   No.

8. Portmore United vs. Tivoli Gardens – Jamaica Premier

This, too, is one of CONCACAF’s stronger domestic leagues – almost certainly the best of the island nations in our federation. Hallooo, neighbors! Noob’s making a concerted effort to get to know ya. May I borrow a cup of sugar?

The top six finishers here will make the Playoffs, with the top two getting byes into the Semifinals. They’re a dozen matches into the season, and rhese two are #1 and #3. This is a classic best offense versus best defense scenario. An upset win wouldn’t move Gardens into 1st, but would tighten up an already good-looking race.

RESULT:   Portmore   2-0

Extra Credit:   the other UEFA Champions League matches, Costa Rican semifinal, Liga MX qf; 

Also, Spain’s Copa del Rey round of 32 match, Copa Argentina sf, Copa Sudamericana sf, Czech Cup Round of 16, Guatemala National League sf

Also, #1 Shkendija vs. #3 Academy Pandev in Macedonai’s Prva Liga, Russian FA Cup qf, very early round CAF Champions League, #3 Brittania vs. #2 Nacional in Aruba’s Division di Honor, second round Arab Club Championship

Tuesday

1. Lyon vs. Manchester City – UEFA Champions League

But make no mistake, I’m glad it’s back, baybeeeeee! A quick reminder for the newest Noobites what the it is:. League champions and other top teams of Europe in the crown jewel of all club tournaments. They’re currently in the Group Stage. Pods of four playing double round robins. Top two finishers from each will advance to the Knockout (single elimination, bracket-style) Stage. Everybody’s got two matches to go.

Man City is thought by many to be the #1 team in the world currently. They’re undefeated in Premier League play, lead Lyon by three point in the Group F table. But they’ve lost one match.

To Lyon. At Man City! The French team is a distant #B to undefeated Paris Saint-Germain in Ligue 1 there, but #B nonetheless. They haven’t lost to anyone, anywhere, besides PSG since August. Yet strangely, that win over Man City is their only win in Group F. All their other matches have ended in draws.

So what’s at stake? Noob’s laser-focused of late on stakes, letting you know why any given match is important. Man City are almost 100% to advance to the Knockout Round now, and any result (win or draw) will seal that deal.

A win for Lyon would do the same. Anything else, and the door is very much open for the other two Group F clubs, trailing by three and four points, respectively. So yes, remaining undefeated with a draw would leave the, in jeopardy yet. What a tournament.

Oh, and based on ELO ratings (thank you, footballdatabase.com), Noob thinks Man City will win easily, 1-2 goal margin, in France.

RESULT:   2-2         Maxwell Cornet with a goal and an assist for Lyon as they blew two leads.  

B. AS Roma vs. Real Madrid – UEFA Champions League

Noob is often reluctant to feature multiple matches from the same league or tournament on a given day. I wish to act as filter for we newish fans, allow us to focus on the most important things, yet with a broad gaze. Eight matches today for UEFA CL. We can do two.

It’s an easy decision when the three-time defending champions are in the mix, too. Real and Roma are tied for the Group G lead. The next team down is five points behind. Look, these two are going through to the Knockout Stage no matter how the match ends today. But finishing 1st or runner-up matters for seeding in the next Round, so this match is still monster.

Defending champs or not, this isn’t the same Real team of recent years. Losing the greatest active player in the world – Cristiano Ronaldo – will have that effect. They’re in just 5th place in La Liga and just suffered a blistering 3-0 loss to Eibar. If you don’t know that name, that’s the point. And their newfound issues are on both sides of the ball.

Yet after a 3rd place Italian Serie A finish last year, Roma have slipped as many places as Real – down to 7th at present. They’d appeared to have the righted their ship to some degree of late, but than lost to Udinese last time out. Once again, if you don’t know that club, that’s the point.

Real’s crash back to earth this year has been the steeper fall. Still, Noob wouldn’t put Roma at any better than an even match for them at home.

RESULT:   Real   0-2

New feature! EXTRA CREDIT will appear with some frequency now – these are events, matches Noob scouted for a given date but that didn’t make the cut for the Track.

Extra Credit: Early round-Coupe de France, Scotland’s FA Cup, very early round 2018-19 CAF Champions League, later round EFL Cup (tournament of tertiary importance in England), and Semifinals of Africa’s women’s Cup of Nations – all are in action.

ALSO! Congrats to Guadalajara, UANL, America and Pachuca of Liga MX Femenil. They all just qualified for the Semifinals of the Apertura (first half-season) there.

Noob’s trying to learn women’s and more CONCACAF soccer in general, but the site I use (for the moment) screws up dates something fierce. I’d scouted the Quarterfinals I thought were today, but they’re in the books already. Part of the learning for Noob is finding the best resources.

 

’10 to Track’ soccer matches – MLS and USL playoff hunts lead the way

it’s International Break for much of the league world.  That means we get MORE America and extra CONCACAF-feination in today’s Track!

Today’s Track may not be up much in advance, but I’m now Nine-Fingered Noob.  Went all Gollum on my own left ring finger at work last night.  OK, not really, did just slice off the tiniest bit.  Typing’s been hard.  Almost left all the inadvertent caps-lock stuff in just for fun.

  1. D.C. United vs. FC Dallas – Major League Soccer

With three regular season matches to go, #1 Dallas lead KC and LAFC by four points in the Western Conference.   Kansas City is and has been the better team on paper all season.   But they’re getting draws late, whole Dallas hasn’t lost in about six weeks.   In fact, only one team has even managed to get a goal on them in the last four matches.

Wayne Rooney & Co. are now only two points out of 6th place and the East’s final playoff berth.  They, too, haven’t lost in six weeks.  They’re success has been realized on the offensive end.  But it troubles Noob that they haven’t kept a single clean sheet in that entire stretch.

Defense travels, so I’m saying Dallas gets the road win in what is likely considered an even matchup in the District.  As badly as MLS likely wants DCU in the playoffs, today is when they’re comeback dreams die.   (4:55 PM EST, Univision)

RESULT:   D.C.   1-0

B.  Netherlands vs. Germany – UEFA Nations League

This is a League A match.  There are four separate Groups of three in League A.  In each one, the teams play four matches, double-round-robins.

France leads this one with four points after two matches.  This is the second match for these two today.  If they draw, France ends up in the driver’s seat.  Only the winner of each Group makes the Playoffs.

Since League A is pretty much the dozen best clubs on the continent, they’re all likely making the 2020 European Championships anyway.  But this event is another avenue towards qualifying for that.  In the world, they’re ranked #17 and 12.   In the Netherlands, this should be a toss-up.   (2:45 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Netherlands   3-0      

Image result for font invented in 2018

 

A new tournament deserves a new-look Number B!

(Braille typeface front)

  1. Ireland vs. Denmark – UEFA Nations League

These two are part of League B.  Mirror image of A, just the next dozen down the rankings in Europe.

Denmark are actually 10th ranked in the world today.  UEFA rankings were used from a specific date, so the Danes must’ve been more down on their luck.  If the win this Group, they get promoted for League A when this event happens again, presumably, in two years.  And they’ll win it.

Ireland are FIFA-ranked just 30th.  They lost badly to Wales in their first match in this tournament.  Eire should be considered at least a full-goal underdog today.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Reno 1868 vs. Orange County – United Soccer League

Usually Noob gives the American second division it’s due other times of week.  But so much of the world is on International Break, we have room.  With the Playoffs nearly here, perfect timing!   Teams have just this last regular season match to go.

Top eight finishers in each Conference make the Playoffs.  OC all but has the #1 seed wrapped up, home field advantage galore.  They’d have to lose today and Phoenix would have to win their last game by five goals for another tiebreaker to even come into play between them.

Reno have more on the line.  They’re #5 in the West.  They’re only a point behind Real Salt Lake, so they could still end up with the four-seed and a home game to start the postseason.  In fact, it wouldn’t necessarily even require a win.  A tie and an RSL loss-combo would do the trick.

RESULT:   Reno   3-1

Image result for reno 1868 supportersSo Noob’s jumping on the Reno bandwagon today!

Anything to go against stupidly-named Real Salt Lake.

  1. Ottawa Fury vs. Charleston Battery – United Soccer League

Charleston can’t lose or move up from the four-seed in the East.  Noob suspect they’ll rest starters given that.

Ottawa has been gritty and gutty all year – not truly good though.  They’re in 9th place, two points and a ton of tiebreaking GD behind Bethlehem for the last Playoff berth.  They should be able to net a win against the Battery reserves.  Unfortunately for them, Bethlehem hosts the hapless Tampa Bay Rowdies.  And the Steel will be motivated.  They could jump as many as three spots in the standings with a win.

RESULT:   Charleston   0-2

  1. Puerto Rico vs. Martinique – CONCACAF Nations League qualification

You can catch a few particulars in yesterday’s and previous posts.

This match is the first of four for these two teams.  Martinique aren’t members of FIFA, being part of the French football system.  But they’re in our region’s federation and they’re pretty good, considered 12th-best among national team here.

PR are just #175 in the world, well in the bottom half of CONCACAF.

RESULT:   Martinique   0-1

Image result for Puerto Rico national football team 2018

 

 

And since Puerto Ricans are Americans, Noob gives them the “gofightwin” cheer.

  1. Vorkuta vs. SC Scarborough – Canadiaian Soccer League

Welcome to the Track, CSL!   Don’t be fooled by the name though.  This league is really mostly or entirely Ontario-based teams.  Starting next year – unless it is pushed back again – the Canadian Premier League begins.   These teams won’t be a part of it, not unless they’re changing names and Noob’s missed it.

In any case, this is the playoff final for the current top league in Canadia!  It’s at a neutral stadium in Ontario, though since all the teams are from greater Ontario  *shrug*  They finished #B and #4 in the regular season, respectively.  The league was kind of top heavy.  Scarborough will do well to keep this within a goal.

RESULT:   Vorkuta   1-0

  1. Vorkuta II vs. Halton United II – Canadiaian Soccer League Division II

And here’s the undercard!   Also the playoff championship.  Same stadium, just two hours before the D1 championship.   These were the top two in the division regular season.  This match should be a little more competitive, but once again is Vorkuta who are moderately heavy favorites.

RESULT:   V II   3-2           chamPEENS!

Image result for so much canada

 

 

 

Just how much Canadia can you handle at once?

  1. DR Congo vs. Zimbabwe – Africa Cup of Nations qualification

Once again, Noobites can look at yesterday’s or past posts for some specifics on this event.

These two are both tied for the lead in their four-team Group (top two finishers make the Knockout Stage.  Congo (not DR) are tied with them, but have played one more match than these two so far.   They are ranked #40 one of Africa’s best – and #117 by FIFA.  So naturally, DRC are expected to lay waste to their guests.

RESULT:   Zimbabwe   1-2        Upset city!

  1. Central Cordoba de Santiago vs. Gimnasia LP – Copa Argentina

FA Cups are all about looking for Minnows – non-premier league underdogs.  And here in the quarterfinals we get one to root for.  Cordoba were relegated to the second division last year.  In fact, they’re below average even there early this league season.

Gimnasia are just a midtable team.  But they’re top -flite, should be considered a 1-2 goal fave on the road in this one-off match.  The winner will face River Plate in the Semis – an historically excellent team, but one that’s been more midtable themselves of late.   (2:00 PM, TyC Sports International)

RESULT:   Gimnasia   1-1  /  3-4  PK

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So long from Santiago del Estero!

Noob’s terrified to translate the parts he doesn’t know.  Blessedly rusty Spanish for meeeee.

’10 to Track’ Globetrotting Friday soccer matches – spanning the globe for soccer-ness

Fridays are a little light on the world scheds, so Fridays here at Noob we steal Samsonite’s luggage and head off to see the world!

As always, the Track will start at or close to home, then it’s off to footyball hinterlands of wonder.

Please don’t forget to check back for results, follow on Twitter at SoccerNoobUSA.  And in the name of all that’s holy, stop assuming the drink cart carries absinthe.

  1. Houston Dash vs. Washington Spirit – National Women’s Soccer League

Just top the four from the NWSL make the playoffs.  Washington are long-since eliminated.  7th-place Houston is just four points behind 4th-place Orlando.  That’s a lot of teams to have to leapfrog, but hope lives.

The Dash have been winning and losing every other match like clockwork for weeks.  If pattern holds, they’re due for a loss today.  But the Spirit have lost seven in a row.  And they score only about goal every other game on average.  And they’re really bad.  And they won’t win today.

But Noob roots against you, Houston Dash?  Why?

RESULT:   Houston   4-0

Image result for daft to build a castle in a swamp

 

You can’t build cities on swamps and expect good things.

B.  Atlas vs. Monarcas Morelia – Liga MX

Little Billy Donovan from Springfield writes:

Dear Mr. Noob,

I’m in grade school and I can count.  Well. 

So, what is up with never using a Number Two and putting in Number B instead?

First of all, Little Billy, thanks for being a great Noobite.  No questions are dumb here, because Noob doesn’t anthropomorphize sentences.

Depending on how one chooses to look at it, Number Two has been the victim or instigator of problems people have when listing off points for time immemorial.   Say someone’s having an argument and trying to logically list points.  So often, things spin out of control:

“Why am I leaving your sorry ass??  One!   You always leave the toilet seat up.  B!  You never answer my texts within 0.45 seconds when you’re at work.  Three!  You –

     — Ha!   You can’t even make a list right.  You went ‘One’ and then ‘B’ as if you’d labeled your first point ‘A’.  So fine, leave!  You’re a dysfunctional albatross around my neck anyway.”

See the issue, Billy?  So Noob says, “Why not just replace Number Two with Number B In all lists, permanently and forever?”  More, Noob doesn’t likely need to tell a grade schooler of all people about the negative connotation of “Number Two”.  So –

1, B, 3, 4, etc. when it comes to lists.    But Noob’s not crazy.  Still count normally in non-list contexts.   You would still say, “I have two apples in my Grizzly Adams lunchbox”.

RESULT:   Morelia   0-1

Image result for grizzly adams lunch box

  1. Birmingham City vs. Swansea City – English Championship

No English Premier League matches today doesn’t mean we can’t get our British footyball fix.  Though this is equal part Welsh, thanks to Swansea.  They were Relegated after last season.  They couldn’t kick a ball and hit the broad side of a barn.

Birmingham City was on the fringe of Relegation discussions last year themselves.  Opposite problem.  Second-worst defense in the ECL.

But it’s a new season, and everyone will dream of climbing back up to the Premier League and the bajillions of tv dollars that come with it.

Fun Fact:   Birmingham were the first English club to play in European competition, losing to Barcelona in the Inter-Cities Fairs Cup of 1956.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Schweinfurt 05 vs. Schalke 04 – Germany FA Cup

Most anywhere else Noobites will find this game written about, the tournament will be referred to as “DFB-Pokal”.   The tournament participants are of a strange makeup to me.  All the clubs from the top two leagues.  That makes sense.  Only four from the third-tier league.  But then 24 teams come out of lower, regional divisions.

Schweinfurt is one of the last group.  They play out of the Bayern Regional League, which is fourth-tier.  They finished second in it last season.  They qualified for this event by winning the Bayern Cup tournament.

And today they get last year’s #B team from Bundesliga.  At least they had enough luck to get to host the match.  Minnows are fun to root for, but Schalke by two today.

RESULT:   Schalke   0-2

Willy Sachs Stadion 001.jpg

 

Schweinfurt play at Willy-Sachs Stadion.

Sometimes jokes are too easy.  Noob chooses to exercise a little grace.

  1. Wydad Casablanca vs. Mamelodi Sundowns – CAF Champions League

Africa’s CL is in it’s Group Stage still.   The 16 remaining teams are divided into pods of four, in which they play double-round robins.  All winners and runners-up advance to the Knockout Stage.

Wydad are the defending champions and lead their current Group.  They are a Noob-fave because of their unique name, being for a famous Egyptian actress-singer.  Which is odd, given that the team is in Morocco.

Mamelodi are out of South Africa’s Premier League.  They’re tied with a Guinean team for #B in the Group right now, though they lead on away-goal tiebreaker.  By rating (footballdatabase.com), this would be a very even matchup on a neutral pitch.  The defending titlists have to be favored on their home pitch today.

RESULT:   Wydad   1-0

  1. Martizburg United vs. Kaizer Chiefs – South Africa Premier

So let’s move cross-continent in our Globetrotting!   South Africa’s Premier is 5th-rated on the continent.  It’s also getting the 2018-19 season started.

These two finished 4th and 3rd in last year’s edition, narrowly missing out on the two CL berths afforded the country.  It will be especially interesting to see if Chiefs can stay near the table’s top again.  Based on goal differential, they overachieved, and only had an average offense at best.

RESULT:   0-0

Please enjoy this musical interlude from the U.K.’s Kaiser Chiefs.

  1. JS Saoura vs. MC Oran – Algeria Ligue 1

Algeria’s top flite ranks 4th in Africa, so we’re still seeing major quality on our trek today.

JS Souara may also get Tracked sooner or later for being in the current CAF Champions League, as they finished #B in this league last season.  MC Oran came in at fourth, but never truly threatened.  They score almost at will, but Noob’s not sure they play a goalie based on the numbers.

Fun Fact:   Saoura are based in the town of Meridja.  That’s Arabic for “little swamp”.

Didn’t we just cover how we feel around here about Swamp Cities.  Bad urban planning!  Down with them and the teams that inhabit them!

RESULT:   Saoura   2-0

  1. Deportivo Maipu vs. Temperley – Copa Argentina

It’s the Round of 32 now in this single-match Knockout FA Cup.  Maipu play in Torneo Federal A, one of the nation’s two third-tier leagues.  Temperley got mercifully Relegated out of the Premier last year.

Maipu host today.  They’ve also already beaten Chacarita Juniors, another team that got booted down to second-division last season.  Minnow watch!

RESULT:   Temperley   0-4

Image result for Argentinian wine rack

 

Maipu are known as “los Botelleros” – “the wine racks”.

Weird.  But Noob likes malbecs ok, so ok.

  1. Skenderbau Korce vs. Partizani Tirana – Albania Superliga

The 34th-ranked league in UEFA, really Noob?  Oh yes.  There’s a special reason for this inclusion.

Skenderbau, in March, was banned for 10 years from international UEFA competitions.  They had to forfeit their spot in the current Champions League to Kukesi.  This is the stiffest penalty ever handed out.  Match-fixing was the issue.

Applying mathematical algorithms to gambling patters is a or perhaps THE big new way match-fixing is discovered now.  Skenderbau are fighting the ban, and it will be fascinating to see just how accepted the methodology is.

RESULT:   S.K.   1-0

  1. Buxoro vs. Lokomotiv – Uzbekistan Super League

We take out rest from jet-setting at last in Asia.  This is the 10th-best league there.  As such, they will receive two berths into the next AFC Champions League.

Lokomotiv aren’t quite in line for one, but they’re threatening – tied for 3rd.  Buxoro are in 5th, not likely to make a big move.  Negative GD, and they have particular trouble putting the ball in the back of nets.  In the table, they’re problem is a lack of draws.  They actually have more losses than most teams in the entire league.

RESULT:   Lokomotiv   0-1

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So long from the “old town” of Buxoro!

(As if the whole town isn’t ancient.  People living there for 5000+ years.)

’10 to Track’ Globetrotting Friday soccer matches – double-dipping in Mexico, then spanning the planet!

Friday’s, world leagues’ schedules tend to run a little lighter.  So Noob takes the opportunity to dust off his passport and visit soccer leagues hither and yonder!

As always, we’ll start close to home.  Then it’s off to exotic footyball hinterlands!  You may not always be able to drink the water, but Noobites can safely drink in these sweet match previews.

OK, that was lame.  Onward!

  1. Cruz Azul vs. CF America – Liga MX Femenil

Welcome to the Track, mujeres!  Noob’s been long overdue to feature a match from your league.  Wish it hadn’t been because I had to dash a preview of a women’s International Champions Cup game.  Noob thought North Carolina Courage was playing Paris Saint-Germain today, but NCC won that on Thursday.

But we’re all here now, and better for it!  Like the men’s league, this one is just getting started.  Unlike it, they are divided into two separate Groups for the season, with the top two in each making the Liguilla (postseason).

CF America won their Group last Clausura (half-season) on the strength on scoring half again as many goals as the next-best club.  Cruz Azul finished in 6th, unable to hit even double-digit goals in 14 matches.  Woof.

RESULT:   America   0-3

B.  Monarcas Morelia vs. Santos – Liga MX

The 2018-19 season is just getting underway.  Santos finished 4th in least year’s Clausura (second half-season and then won that Liguilla (postseason).  Morelia finished in 8th, the only team to make the postseason with a negative goal differential.  Watch this one to see if Santos is still scoring like it’s pinball.   (8:00 PM EST, ESPN Deportes)

RESULT:   Morelia   3-1

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Number B – looking royal and ready to root for Morelia

  1. Etoile du Sahel vs. Mbabane Swallows – CAF Champions League

They’re halfway through the Group Stage in Africa’s top league tournament.  Remaining are four pods of four playing double round robins.  The top two in each will advance to the Knockout Round.

Tunisia’s Etoile du Sahel are unsurprisingly the leading their Group.  Mbabane from Swaziland are not expected to advance – or weren’t!  They’re #B in that table.  du Sahel won the first matchup between these two 0-3.  Little reason to believe the runner-up in the second-best league in Africa won’t crush again today.

Fun Fact:   One of du Sahel’s nicknames is Jawharat Sahel, which translates to “Jewel Coast:.

RESULT:   EdS   2-0

  1. Lokomotiv Moscow vs. CSKA Moscow – Russia Super Cup

This is a standard Super Cup, two top teams facing off in a glorified friendly as a lead-in to the league season.  What isn’t standard is who is playing and why.

Most often, these events pit the reigning league champs against the defending FA Cup winners.  Last year, the latter was a club named FC Tosno.  But they went belly-up, despite their success.  And Premier League runners-up CSKA fill the slot.   This is being played in Moscow, though not at the home pitch of either club.

RESULT:   CSKA   0-1   AET

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One of these adorable kitties could be named Tosno.

  1. Temperley vs. Estudiantes Caseros – Argentina FA Cup

This Knockout tournament is in its Round of 64.  Temperely were demoted to the second division after last season.  Estudiantes Caseros play in one of the two third-tier leagues.  They were the runners-up least season.  The winner will play third-division Deportivo Maipu next Round.  A Caseros upset would guarantee a Minnow in the Round of 16.  Muy bueno.

On a side note, why do both my MS Word and iPhone autocorrect voice feature try to capitalize “bueno”.  Is it now common to think that things in Spanish can only be a little better than just regular-good?  Inquiring Noobites should want to know.   (4:10 PM, TyC International)

Fun Fact:  Caseros is a town in the province of Buenos Aires, which is why the club is just as commonly cited as “Estudiantes Buenos Aires” or just “Esudiantes (BA)”.

RESULT:   Temperley   1-0

  1. Atletico Pantoja vs. Moca – Dominican Republic Liga Mayor

CONCACAF me!  Noob loves to get to know our continental/regional neighbors on Fridays.

These are the 3rd and 5th-place teams in the D.R.’s top league.  The top four will have a Championship Playoff at regular season’s end.  All the top teams here play about the same level of defense.    Pantoja has the superior offense, if not by leaps and bounds.  At home, one would think this is enough.  If Moca can pull the upset, they will climb into a 4th-place tie.

RESULT:   Pantoja   1-0

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Peace Corps party in Pantajo – a neighborhood in Santo Domingo.

  1. Mlada Boleslav vs. Sigma Olomouc – Czech First League

Would it surprise you to know this is a top-15 league in Europe?

M.B. were 9th last year.  Olomouc finished in fourth, qualifying for the current Europa League.  They’re about to get to play, entering in at the Third Qualifying Round.  They don’t play nearly the offense that other top Czech clubs do, so Noob thinks the hosts have aa coin flip-chance today.

Fun Fact:  Mlada Boleslav was called Bumsla at one time by the Jews, for whom this city had become an important center.

RESULT:   Olomouc   0-4

  1. KI vs. Skala – Faroe Islands Meistardeildin

Would it surprise you to learn this league is rated #9 in all Europe?   It should.  They’re ninth from the bottom.  Hey, teeny tiny country.   And they’re playing.

Only the winner will get into Champions League, of course.  The next two will both make Europa League.  KI are #B in the table, five points out of first.  Skala is in 6th, the best of the bottom half.  There’s a massive gulf between the two halves, too, to this match may not be close.

RESULT:   KI   3-1

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Klaksvíkar Ítróttarfelag

Noob’ll just stick with “KI”.

  1. Al Merreikh vs. Hay Al Arab – Sudan Premier

This was a two-horse league last year, and Al Merrikh missed wining the title by a nose.  Still, that’s good enough in Africa’s 7th-best league to make the CAF Champions League.  But they got knockout out of that before the Group Stage.

If Hay Al Arab – last year’s 11th-place club – pull an upset, it will be with a very low score.  All last season, they did nothing but take the air out of the ball.

Fun Fact:  Al Merreikh was formed by students at former Gordon Memorial College, now part of U. of Khartoum.

RESULT:   Al Merreikh   2-1

  1. Dwangwa United vs. Civil Sporting – Malawi Super League

This league is not ranked in Africa’s top 25.  Perfect for Friday excursion!  Dwangwa are in 14th, just one spot above the Relegation line.  Noob couldn’t even quickly find the name of Malawi’s second division-league.  It is unworthy and perhaps not spoken of.  Civil are in 4th place, eight points out of 1st (Big Bullets).

This may end up a high-affair.  Neither team stops anyone.

RESULT:   Dwangwa   1-0

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So long from Nkhotakota Wildlife Reserve (near Dwangwa Utd’s home town)!