Tag: Dorados de Sinaloa

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – more UEFA women’s Champions League in our lives

Time for our last two matches of the Midweek Edition.  Fine, quality footyball to be found in both.   This, despite how bonkers Wednesday got in the writing.

Remember to scroll farther down for Tues. and Wed. results.  And to consider following SoccerNoobUSA on the tweeter.  And to patronize establishments which have replaced plastic straws with alternatives like bamboo.

Thursday

  1. Zurich vs. Honka – UEFA women’s Champions League

How little parity is there in the women’s game?  There are six matches being played today in this event, all second legs.  Every home team today is ahead on aggregate, meaning they all won their away games.  No draws even.

This is the closest one.  More, both were champions of their domestic leagues last season.  Zurich won 0-1 in Finland.  They get a chance to wrap this up neatly at home in Switzerland today.

RESULT:   Zurich   5-1      Fabienne Humm with the first three scores

  1. Olimpija Llubljana vs. Gorica – Slovenia Liga

It’s a lighter day for league games – not uncommon.   There are tons of FA Cup matches form various countries Noobites can Google up.  But none of the “big” countries’ events are far enough along to catch my eye today, while the ones who are a little deeper into their tournaments are “smaller” nations’.

So, welcome to the #30 league in Europe, nestled lovingly between Romania and Slovakia, just below average ordinally.  These clubs are #B and #3 about ten matches into their season.

O.J. trail historic and current #1 Maribor by four in the table.  Gorica have overachieved to this point.  They don’t have nearly the offense of any other team in the top half of the league.  Nor do they play the defense to make up for that.  They’ve lost just one (four wins, four draws).  But today, that total gets doubled.

RESULT:   2-2

Image result for ljubljana funny

 

So long from Ljubljnana, home of Olimpija and the Museum of Illuisions!

(Noob assumes these patrons are actually real.)

 

Wednesday 

#B.  Houston Dynamo vs. Philadelphia Union – U.S. Open Cup

The final!  $300,000 cash prize on the line, plus an automatic berth into the next CONCACAF Champions League.  Bet there will be a spit-polished fancy trophy, too.

Not all the teams have been playing all their starters leading up to today.  Understandable, saving energies for league games.  Noob’s not at all sure why Houston’s bothered.  Their GD holds up, indicates they’re a capable bunch.  But waaaay too many draws have them down in 10th in the West.  They won’t catch a sniff of the league Playoffs.

Meanwhile, Philly is here for the third time in five years.  They’re 5th in the much tougher-at-the-top Eastern Conference.  Goal differential is negative, but they’re win-or-bust.  Just four draws all season.

New Jersey-born Bedoya attacking midfielder gets talked a lot about being the key to the Unioin’s success.  Mayhaps.   But Noob thinks the key man for them will their Czech international Borek Dockal.  He leads the league in assists.  After a comparatively quiet September, Philly needs him controlling possession and servicing passes like a champ.

The Dynamo have been seemingly all over the map stylistically in league of late.   Will keeper Joe Wills have to make a barrage of saves because they’ll be sending everyone forward?  Whether they do or not, look for Colombian international forward Mauro Monatas to get in the scoring early.  He doesn’t convert a high percentage of his chances, yet ranks sixth in league goal-scoring.

Noob thinks this is very even matchup.  If you live where gambling is legal and can get straight-up odds, take Houston.  Philly didn’t capture the title in either of their last two tries.  And the road is the road, woefully hard to win on it any given day.   (8:00 PM EST, ESPN2)

RESULT:   Houston   3-0       Monatas with a pair of first-half scores

Image result for letter B trophy

 

 

Number B’s design idea for the USOC trophy.

  1. NYCYC vs. Chicago Fire – Major League Soccer

Your ‘Muricuhn soccer undercard is this one, the only league match today.  And it’s what Noob deems a “Hiccup Watch”.  NYCFC should – on paper – beat them handily, especially at home.  Or will they have a hiccup.

In Match #B, Noob noted the East was the tougher conference, but at the top specifically.  The West is stronger when comparing teams in similar positions further down the standings.  Chicago are 10th in the East and not nearly as good as Houston, even independent of the latter’s appearance in the Cup Final.

That said, the Fire are showing at least a little spunk of late.  They just earned a road draw against Playoffs-bound Philly.  Right before that, they kicked the tar out of Orlando City (worst club in the East) 4-0.

Couple that with NYCFC’s current skid of late and one is forced to wonder if the Fire can’t get a result tonight.  The Blues have faced six straight Postseason-caliber teams and beaten none of them.  Really, they haven’t won against a “good” team since mid-July (Columbus Crew).  The trouble?  The offense has gone Houdini on them.

Without attacking midfielder Jesus Medina still likely out (hamstring), veteran Spanish scorer David Villa must find his early-season form.  Otherwise, Chicago is getting a scalp with which to salvage their non-Playoff wounds.   (7:00 PM, ESPN+)

RESULT:   NYCYC   2-0      David Villa with one of the goals

  1. Queretaro vs. Dorados De Sinaloa – Copa MX

Just Match #1 of the Midweek for some details about where things are in this event.

Noob goes fishing for Minnow once again!   Sinaloa are in 12th in the Ascenso.  The consider scoring to be gauche, ungentlemanly, and eschew it nearly always.

Liga MX side Pachuca are in 13th.  They score a little more against the bigger boys, but also play better defense.  They’re in 13th, but will climb.  Queretaro 2-0 today feels like an easy prediction.   (8:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Queretaro   2-1      Camilo with both goals for the victors

 

 

 

A clear ball and a funky hat.   The prognostication business feels pretty easy.

  1. Brondby vs. Juventus – UEFA women’s Champions League

The Round of 16 wraps up this week as they play the second matches of two-legged ties.

Beyond the very best few teams in the world, Noob is still desperately unversed on the women’s side of the game.  But life is long, so here’s us learning!

This is the closest tie of those being played today.  Brondby earned a 2-2 draw at Juve in the first match.  I have a general sense that Nordic countries play and host a lot of quality women’s soccer.  While that may not mean that they don’t further south, Noob looks for the Danish club to topple the Italians today.

RESULT:   Brondby   1-0

  1. Young Boys of Bern vs. St. Gallen – Switzerland Super League

Last year, St. Gallen finished midtable while sporting about the worst defense in the league.   They weren’t even that good at offense.  Early this season, they’re better on both side of the ball, sitting on 3rd as their reward.

RESULT:   YBB   2-0

Image result for Noobstradamus

 

Look who’s back —  It’s NOOBSTRADAMUS!   

He was right quick to get pissed off, point out to Noob that real prognostication isn’t for amateurs.   

 

And he’s had a vision.  God help us.

Yes.

I close my eyes, lose myself to space and time.  When I open my eyes, I know it is not in the true corporeal world.   I am having a Vision.  I am in the Vision.

I only have a vague sense of who I am, an attendant of some kind to the Duke of Zahringen, Berchtold V.  We’re out hunting.  It’s the late 12th C.  And it’s cold.  This vision sucks.

Old Berchty, as those closer to him refer to him here and now, is bored of life in Zahringen after succeeding his late father just five years in.  What better way to cure that than to, oh, found a new city. 

“I’m going to name it Berchtyland!”   He gets no response from his entourage.  “Berchtycity?”

“Perhaps you could name it after something you see, find, sire.”

Berchty’s a crabby apple, must be feeling the cold as well.  He backhands the attendant, breaking his nose.  But to his credit, he considers the idea.

“That might be too much.  Everything in Swabia has our family name all over it.  I will name the city which I shall raise here after the first animal we find!”

Everyone agreed it was a good idea.  Probably because Berchty wasn’t the sharpest knife in the kitchen and other ideas he might come up with would be more likely to be worse than better.  But a squirrel bolted across our path just then, stirring out horses.

“Squirreltyton!  Perfect!”

“Brilliant, um, but I think there is already a ‘Squirreltyton’ a few duchies west of Swabia.  You surely don’t want to be found copying anyone.”

It was total bunco.  But again, our liege is dim.  We rode on.  Stopping for a drink at a stream, the Duke saw a worm.  And he looked like he was trying to think extra hard.  

Sensing the need to avert disaster, another attendant whispered in my ear.  I nodded at his idea and sneaked off a little ways, cloak and fur hat in hand.

When the party started to remount, I started shoving branches and bushes around, making much din, from a distance.  Close enough to be seen, but just.  I had put my cloak over my head and the fur hat just so and thrashed around a bit more, growling all the while.

“My liege, look, a noble bear!  it would honor all his kind for its name to be taken for your city.”  The attendant who’d whispered this idea to me was a sly one. 

“Quite right!   We’ll name the city “Bern”, since that’s in our language.  I’ll bet he’s majestic!  Let’s kill it.  Since we’re hunting and stuff.”

Not wanting his own nose broken and leaving Noobstradamus high and dry, my peer said nothing.  The Duke, though a dolt, was a good shot.  His arrow found its mark, piercing my leg and catching an artery.  I knew I was done for. 

The best I could do was limp frantically away upstream and then throw myself in the water.  If Berchtold tracked the blood trail, found my body and discovered the ruse, he’d perhaps kill everyone in a rage.  And name the town-to-be ‘Wormyville’. 

As the cold water took me away – damn this cold again! – the lifeblood leaking out of me caught in a small eddy and formed the words ‘Bern 3-0 over St. Gallen’.  

And THAT is how you prognosticate.  You’re amateur hour, sir.  Good day.

— Noobstradamus, wait!  Noob as so many non-soccer questions for you.

I said ‘Good day’, sir!

  1. Norrkoping vs. Malmo – Sweden Allsvenskanliga

Eight points behind 1st-place AIK.  If traditional co-behemoth Malmo are going to make a move with just 1/3 of the season remaining, they’d best hop to it.

They’ll have to hope with much vigor to get a result today.  Malmo may have the better GD, but #B Norrkoping are very good, and especially so on defense.  That’s tough to get past on someone else’s pitch.

RESULT:   Norrkoping   3-1      Kalle Holmberg with two first-half scores

  1. Maccabi Tel Aviv vs. Maccabi Haifa – Israel Toto Cup

This is not the country’s FA Cup, which is considered more important.  This tournament is just for clubs from the top two divisions.  It’s largely used to give reserves and young player a chance for minutes, plus testing out some foreign players.

Still, it’s a Final today!   The site is Petach Tikva, neutral.  MTA finished runner-up last year in the Premier, while M. Haifa were 10th.  Things are much the same early in 2018-19, as they’re #1 and #9 now.

RESULT:   MTA   2-1       They got the winning goal at 85′

Image result for toto cup trophy

 

 

A Toto Cup trophy.  

Sort of a walking taco-motif.

 

Tuesday

  1. Pachuca vs. Cafetaleros de Tapachula – Copa MX

Midweek games tend to be centered around Cup tournaments.  They save the league matches for the weekends.  In Mexico, just as the yearly league season is divided into two separate halves (Apertura and Clausura), so they also concurrently play Apertura and Clausura Cups.   This is the Apertura underway, and they’ve moved on from the Group Stage and now begin the Knockout Stage with 16 teams.

One of Noob’s great joys is looking for Minnow – lower-division underdogs – in the Cups.  Since this Copa only involves teams from the top two divisions, can’t get any more Minnow-y than last place in the D2 Ascenso.  And guess what?   Tapachula is right there.   They’re so lousy on defense, Noob wonders if they’d stand up for their own mothers.

Um, Noob?  Don’t you think it’s classier to leave the mothers out of most any contentious talk?

Thanks for chiming in, The Management.  You may be right.  But I will not be filtered!  They are awful in that half.  Probably going down to whatever hell the third tier is.  Will they even get paid?

Pachuca are in 13th in the top-tier Liga MX.  They’re GD suggests they’re better than that.   How the “Baristas” got this far is—

Noob.  “Cafetalero” is “coffee grower”.

Be still, The Management!  Just because you’re right doesn’t mean you don’t need to stow it.

How Tapachula got this far is beyond me.  On paper, Pachuca should manhandle them and their grown coffee.

Manhandle their grown coffee?   That doesn’t even make sense.  But you know what?  Carry on.

Oh, I will.  But not today muahahahahaha.   (8:00 PM EST, ESPN Deportes)

Image result for fighting with the management funny

This is why Noob does not listen to you, The Management.   

Well, not exactly why not.

RESULT:   Pachuca   3-0      Jose Leonardo Ulloa with all three goals

 

’10 to Track’ midweek Edition soccer matches – US Open Cup Semis lead the way

The ten most important soccer matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game.

As the big Euro leagues start to roust themselves, it’s getting harder to justify a single Midweek Edition Track!  Soon, there will be re-expansion.

For now, Noob remains efficient.  Match previews are now posted through Wednesday.

Twitter:  @SoccerNoobUSA

Tuesday

  1. Dorados de Sinaloa vs. CF America – Copa MX

Welcome back to the Apertura (first half-season) Mexican FA Cup.   We’re still in the Group Stage – nine pods of three teams playing a single-round robin, with winners and the seven best runners-up advancing.

Veracruz lost both of their matches so far, so one of these two will win the Group.  Cups tournaments, for Noob, are all about looking for Minnow until their late stages.  Sinaloa is our underdog del dia.  They finished #B in their Clausura in the Ascenso MX (second tier) last season.

CF America is really good, so los Dorados will need all the home pitch advantage they can squeeze out of today.   (10:00 PM EST, ESPN Deportes)

RESULT:   0-0      With a match to go, these two have now both clinched at least runner-up status in the Group.  Still, two of the runners-up in this stage will not advance, so all still bears watching.

B.  Chelsea vs. Lyon – International Champions Cup

Most teams that aren’t already done are playing their third and final matches of this event.  That is the case for these two.  It’s just glorified friendlies, so the results don’t matter really, but these two are tied for 10th.  This is a home match for Chelsea, which is weird for this event.

Soon, their leagues will begin, so maybe the club will actually start their real lineups.   (3:00 PM, ESPNEWS)

RESULT:   Chelsea   0-0  /  5-4  pk

Image result for letter B sunglasses

 

 

Number B, already keepin’ it real.

Charming the ladies.  Unlike that poser Number Two.

 

Wednesday

  1. Houston Dynamo vs. LAFC – U.S. Open Cup

It’s the Semifinals of America’s FA Cup today!  This is a knockout format, so no return leg to Los Angeles.

Both teams have been on skids in MLS.  Houston has lost three in a row, sunk all the way to 10th place in the West.  Since they’re almost certainly not Playoff-bound, perhaps this means they’ll be super focused on chasing this trophy.  Not every team is necessarily.

That brings us to LAFC, who are also winless in their last three.  They’re in 4th out West, seem very much in line for a postseason berth.  That’s hardly guaranteed, but they are also shooting for a top two-seed, good for one or more home pitch Playoff games.

LAFC seems more likely to sprinkle in more reserves and/or subs today.  between that and the GD between these two not being too far apart – despite the difference in table position – and Noob finds himself believing in Houston.  Not that Noob would ever, ever root for a city built on a swamp.  Down with bad urban planning!  (Don’t judge me poorly.  That cause is JUST.)

RESULT:   Houston   3-3  /  7-6  pk       Diego Rossi had all three goals for LAFC in the loss.

  1. Utah Royals vs. Washington Spirit – National Women’s Soccer League

This isn’t likely a match with playoff implications, but expansion Utah isn’t totally out of that picture.  The top four will advance.  Utah is in 6th, and got a surprising point two matches ago against might NC Courage.  They followed that up with a solid road win at so-so Houston.

Washington has lost six straight and sit in second-to-last.  They’re so bad, Noob wonders if they would even beat MLS’ D.C. United…

OK, that was mean.  But was it unfair?

RESULT:   Utah   1-0

Image result for that was mean

 

You’re no Richard Dawson!!  

Get off Noob’s back, Harvey.

  1. UNAL Tigres vs. Tapachula – Copa MX

The Group Stage rolls onward!  Nine pods of three.  Double round robin format.  All winners and seven runners-up will advance.

Tapachula are one of the two Ascenso MX clubs in Group 9.  We Tracked them once already this stage, so we’re going to have some fun continuing to follow them. They got a draw in their first match with San Luis.  They’ve been on a great roll, having won the 2017-18 Clausura Ligulla.

UNAL needs to show why they’re a Liga MX team today, after dropping their first match to San Luis.

RESULT:   0-0     

  1. Celtic vs. AEK Athens – UEFA Champions League

This is the Third Qualifying Round.  After this, there is a Playoff Round to determine final entrants into the Group Stage, where the big boys of Europe enter the tournament.

This round is where Athens enters as the Greek Super League (15-ranked) champs.  Celtic, out of Scotland’s league (ranked #26) entered two rounds ago, has so far clobbered Armenian and Norwegian teams.

Despite the difference in league ranking, Celtic is the more accomplished team internationally in recent years, should be favored by a goal at home.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for AEK supporters riot

 

 

But are you ready for the standard Greek fans, Scotland?

  1. Vancouver Whitecaps vs. Toronto FC – Canadiaian Championship

This is just a four-team affair between Canadia’s three MLS teams and the USL’s Ottawa Fury.  The winner gets Canadia’s berth into the CONCACAF Champions League though.  As the country’s soccer federation soon has it’s own broader league (though without the MLS teams), Noob wonder’s if this Championship will field a lot more clubs in the coming years.

Vancouver is 7th place in MLS’ Western Conference, fighting for a top six regular season finish and Playoff berth.  Will they play all starters here?  Toronto are 9th in the east.  As they made the Final of the last CONCACAF CL and are less likely to get an MLS playoff berth, perhaps the will be more inclined to throw total effort into this affair.

RESULT:   2-2

  1. Cerezo Osaka vs. Independiente – Sugura Bank Championship

This is a strange annual match.  It’s always in Japan, so Noob assumes sponsor Sugura Bank just pays both teams a pile of yen to show up for a glorified friendly.

This pits the J.League Cup winner – not the J.League regular season champ – from last year against the defending Copa Sudamericana (South America’s answer to Europa League) titleholder.

To give some idea of the relative strengths of the clubs, know that C.Osaka would be among the very favorites to win MLS if they played here.  And Argentina’s Independiente would probably beat them about 2/3 of the time on neutral pitches.

RESULT:   Independiente   0-1

Image result for scrooge mcduck pile of money gif

 

 

Winners get to go to the bank CEO’s house, go full Scrooge McDuck dive into a bottomless pit of yen.

  1. Home United vs. Ceres-Negros FC – AFC Cup

This is Asia’s secondary Cup tournament for clubs, though not really analogous to Europa League or Copa Sudamericana.  Clubs participating in this qualify out of countries identified by the AFC as soccer “developing” and “emerging” soccer nations.   Google up the criteria specifics if you are so inclined Noobites.  We streamline things here.

There are five geographically-based “zones” out of which clubs will advance to Inter-Zonal Finals and then final Finals.  This match is the second leg of the ASEAN (southeast Asia) Zonal Final.  They drew the first match.

Home United qualified by finishing 3rd in Singapore’s top league, which is ranked just above average in Asia.  This would not be high enough, but the champs are a Japanese club satellite team, and so ineligible for international competition.  The #B team got into AFC Champions League.

Ceres-Negros are from the Philippines, the runaway winners of their slightly better top-flite league.  It is ranked #17 in Asia.  They actually played in the pre-Group Stage of the AFC CL, but didn’t make the Group Stage, so they can still play in this one.  That’s nice.

RESULT:   Home   2-0

Thursday

  1. Cerro Porteño vs. Palmeiras – Copa Libertadores

The Round of 16 in South America’s version of Champions League is here.  This is the first match of the two-legged tie for these two.

Palmeiras qualified for the CL by finishing runner up in Brazil’s Serie A last year.  They went undefeated in the Group Stage to get to this Round, with an average match result of a two-goal victory per.

Paraguay’s top entrant finished #B in their Group, even goal differential.  They’re good.  But even at home, their only maybe an even match for their guests today.  The winner will take on either Chile’s Colo-Colo or Corinthians from Brazil – a traditional behemoth either way.

RESULT:   Palmeiras   0-2

Image result for General Pablo Rojas Stadium

 

 

So long from La Olla Nueva, Asuncion, Paraguay!

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – UEFA Champions League, Copa MX lead the way

The ten most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game.  This is Noob’s mission, our mantra, a recipe for learning successness.

America, Mexico, CONCACAF, Western and all of Europe, South America, and anywhere at all in the world.  This is Noob’s very general guideline for measuring that importance from out perspective.

(Matches are grouped in reverse chronological order by day.)

Thursday

  1. LAFC vs. L.A. Galaxy – Major League Soccer

As a famous Spanish derby is nicknamed “El Clasico”, so the City of Angels have decided their intracity rivalry is “El Trafico”.  This time around, we even get a match that actually matters in league terms!

Expansion-LAFC continue to impress.  They score the most in the Western Conference, league-wide are only surpassed by Atlanta United.  They trail FC Dallas by just four point for 1st place.

Only four more points and two slots in the standings we find the surging L.A. Galaxy.   They may actually be playing better offense than anyone now, including LAFC.  They haven’t been held scoreless in a league match in 14 straight matches.  They’ve won three in a row, and no one (outside U.S. Open Cup) has beaten them since May 30.

LAFC gets scoring from all manner of places nowadays, but there’s no denying that Zlatan is the catalyst.  He leads the team in scoring, despite not starting the year with them.  The one-time (perhaps) best player in the world and still comically-egomaniacal, talented Swede opens things up for everyone.  Midfielder Chris Pontius has seen particularly huge benefits – a name to continue to look for in the stat line if they are make a push to be a Playoff #1 seed.   (10:30 PM EST, ESPN)

RESULT:   2-2    LAFC blows a big lead at home, giving up goals in the 81′ and 86′.

Image result for dinosaurs playing soccer

 

 

Suggested reading.  Alternate title — “El Jurassico”.

  1. U.S.A. vs. Japan – Tournament of Nations

This event is an annual invitational with just four teams.  The matches are friendlies – no bearing on any other events.  they’re playing a round robin and that will be that.   But apart from being Amuricuh and our interest automatically being peaked, this match features the #1 and #6-ranked teams in the world.  Color me intrigued.  This is one’s in Kansas City.   (7:00 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   USA   4-2    Alex Morgan goes for three goals

Image result for America jingoism funny

 

 

Steven Colbert is ready for Muricuhn soccer, are you?

  1. Atletico Madrid vs. Arsenal – International Champions Cup

You know the story now for this event.  Pile of big European top clubs, glorified friendlies.   These two finished #B and a disappointing #6 in their respective leagues last season.

Noob’s intrigued to see this one on TV.  Singapore’s National Stadium just opened a few years ago.  The tiny nation is really pushing to upgrade the quality of their football.   (7:30 AM, ESPNU)

RESULT:   Atletico   1-1  /  3-1  pk

  1. Gremio vs. Sao Paulo – Brazil Serie A

Noob might not normally feature this match.  But #7 versus #B still really matters there.  And Gremio is really in a three-way tie for 5th, just happen to be down on goal differential.  As the top-rated league in South America, Brazil gets six teams into Copa Libertadores (think: Champions League).  Throw in that Gremio are the defending Libertadores champions and we’re in.

Sao Paulo didn’t even make that Copa last year, but they’ve won four in a row to climb within three of the league-leaders (Palmeiras).  Gremio continue to play small ball, and it’s hard to argue with last year’s 4th-place league finish and the continent’s top trophy in their case.  It will be fun to see if a traditional powerhouse can stem the momentum of their streaking hosts.   (6:30 PM, Premiere Futebol Clube)

RESULT:   Gremio   2-1     Come from behind win, two goals for player simply named “Everton”.

Image result for streaking Frank the Tank gif

 

So long from Noob, and a streaking Frank the Tank!

 

Wednesday

  1. Houston Dynamo vs. Philadelphia Union – Major League Soccer

Here we have two clubs scrapping for playoffs berths, which go to the top six in each of the two divisions.  So far, it’s not been working out.

Houston must’ve fallen even farther than Noob had realized.  They’ve actually not lost in five straight matches, yet are still in just 8th place in the West.  Over this stretch, they’ve been winning high and low-scoring games – good signs for a team that has disappointed compared to expectations to date.

#7 Philly just went down to surprising surging L.A. Galaxy in their own house.   Prior to that, though, they’d two consecutive wins!  A road upset wouldn’t move them into the East’s top six, but the Union would be knocking on the door.

A victory today would move the Dynamo in a playoff slot.  Veteran midfielder Romell Quioto from Honduras leads the team in assists.  His name has been popping up a lot in the stats sheet recently for those and his own goals.   Houston needs his play to stay elevated for their climb to continue.   (9:00 PM EST, ESPN+)

RESULT:   Philly   1-3     Houston scored first, but the Union tied before the half.  in H2, Dynamo lost a star player to a questionable straight red car and went down easily with just ten men for the remainder.

Philadelphia remains in 7th, Houston slips to 8th because of other match results.

  1. Veracruz vs. Dorados de Sinaloa – Copa MX

When Noob features league games, teams both from about the top quarter of a league meet the standard.    But when it comes to Cup/Copa tournaments – especially early I love to shine a light on Minnow.  These are underdogs from lower divisions, often in positions to maybe earn an upset.

The first of Mexico’s two season Copas is just beginning.  27 clubs from the top two divisions of football divided into Groups of three compete for 16 spots in the Knockout Round.   Veracruz finished very low in Liga MX standings during last season’s Clausura (second half-season.), averaging well under a goal per game.

Meanwhile, Sinaloa finished #B in the Ascenso.  They sported one of the best defenses at that level.  Noob’s not sure how many changes these clubs make in their shortened off-seasons, but if their makeups largely remained the same, Dorados could perhaps earn a draw here.   Any result is necessity for advancement, as neither of these clubs is going to beat Club America in this Group.

RESULT:   Dorados 1-2     Sinaloa with the upset after starting down 0-1.

Image result for Mexico funny

 

 

Noob truly hopes so.

I’ll bet those birds played futsal when they were little to learn that ball control.

  1. Celtic vs. Rosenborg – UEFA Champions League

Noob has perhaps a bad habit in re-explaining each event in each post in more details than is necessary for Noobites who read here regularly.  So, see match #1 in this Track for a few general details.

Once again, Noob’s selected a match to feature here out of many slated for today simply because this one involves the westernmost team in action.

Celtic are the super-dominant Scottish powerhouse perennially.  This hasn’t translated into tons of international tournament success.  But they destroyed an Armenian squad last round 6-0 in two matches and they carry a higher Elo rating (footballdatabase.com) than Norwegian champs Rosenborg.

Rosenborg’s one advantage today is that they are in form, halfway through their league season.  The Scottish Premier hasn’t started up yet.  Still, they’d be satisfied with a draw today and then taking their chances at home in the second match of this two-legged tie.

Their leagues are both middle of the road in the UEFA rankings.  The winner gets AEK Athens in the next round, which enter the competition at that stage.

RESULT:   Celtic   3-1

  1. AC Milan vs. Manchester United – International Champions Cup

Reminder:  ICC is a big pile of really good European clubs playing in the US and around the world playing friendly, warming up for their domestic leagues about to begin.  So it’s hard to handicap them, as any given club is as likely to be playing reserves as starters.

Still, they’re big names, and the games in the U.S. draw very well.  This one is at the Stub Hub Center in L.A. (Carson).  The teams finished #6 and #B in their leagues last year, respectively.   (11:00 PM, ESPN)

RESULT:   Man Utd   1-1  /  8-9  pk     Wait, why are they using penalty shootout in a non-knockout tournament?

Image result for big pile funny

 

Phil Hartman.  Not soccer-relevant.

Noob neither has no needs a reason.

 

Tuesday

  1. PAOK (Greece) vs. FC Basel (Switzerland) – UEFA Champions League

The best thing about PAOK playing outside Greece is that maybe their hooligan fans won’t be in so riled up and in such force.  Noob and The Management cheer for Basel.  Just because he saw their stadium once.   And they’re not Greek soccer hooligans.

This is the Second Qualifying Round.  The event-proper isn’t considered to be really starting until the Group Stage begins.  There are several matches from this tournament today.  Noob rather arbitrarily chose this one by virtue of it involving the westernmost club of the bunch.

These two qualified to enter at this round, did not have to play the First QR.  These and two other clubs entering here got in by finishing runners-up in their domestic leagues.  This is called the “League Path”, as opposed to the “Champions Path”.  Really doesn’t matter as far as Noob can see.

Their leagues are rated 16th and 12th, respectively, within UEFA.   Their Elo-ratings (footballdatabase.com) are pretty close as well.  This two-legged tie should be a very competitive one.  The winner will take on Standard Liege, Belgium’s FA Cup winner, in the Third QR.

RESULT:   PAOK   2-1

Image result for PAOK hooligans

 

News outlets probably just keep violent PAOK soccer supporter-footage a button-click away at all times.

B.  Zacatecas vs. Leon – Copa MX

Just as Mexico’s Liga and Ascenso MX seasons Apertura (first half-season) are beginning, so is their Apertura Copa tournament.  The Group Stage is nine pods of three clubs each.  The winners and the seven best runners-up will all advance to the Knockout Stage.

Noob’s chosen to feature this match out of several today because it looks like the best chance for an upset.  Leon finished just 13th in the 2017-18 regular season Clausura, being ghastly on defense.  Zacatecas won the second division Ascenso.

Zacatecas would’ve been Promoted to Liga MX for this year, but Noob heard Mexico’s FA changed the rules in some way so they couldn’t potentially see big-money Guadalajara get Relegated.  So no club’s moved between the two.  Noob thinks “The Miners” can get a draw today.

RESULT:   Zacatecas   4-3     Leon came on fast and furious with two late goals to make this a riveting match.

Image result for letter B in trouble

 

Not soccer-relevant, but we also quest to learn about Number B here.  

Funny how Number B’s belly gets pointed out, but Letter D’s big backside gets a pass.

 

Tuesday and Wednesday

Coming soon!

’10 to Track’ for midweek 1/16-18 — from FA Cup to the intern’s Swede fetish

Time to bear down on the ten most important games to follow, for us, the newish American soccer fans!

Relegation Monday was a rousing success for the underdogs, as three Drop Zone-sides found ways to win.  But now is the time of week for mostly Cup tournament action.

And to see how Noobstradamus, The Management, and Dan “the Intern-o Inferno” are faring in their Prognostication Challenge (*echo* challenge..challenge..)

Tuesday, 1/16

  1. Mansfield Town vs. Cardiff City – English FA Cup

Excellent League Two (fourth tier) Mansfield earned a 0-0 draw in the match in Cardiff.   So now they Replay it, but this time on their own pitch.  Cardiff is a top-notch EFL Championship (second-tier) club.

Fun Fact:  Mansfield’s Town was first “Mansfield Wesleyan”.  The church abandoned the team when they turned professional.

RESULT:   Cardiff   1-4

Image result for god hates soccer

 

 

Thou shalt NOT play for money.

B.  AS Monaco vs. Nice – Ligue 1

Nice isn’t bombing by any means, being in 6th.   But they’re 11 points out of even 4th place and a Europa League berth, so this match is all about Monaco.

The hosts are in second, but lead Lyon by only a single goal on differential, and Marseille by just one point in the table.  Nice can’t score, so Monaco should be fine.  For the moment.

RESULT:   2-2

Image result for French letter BVintage French painted metal marquee sign…

Number B!   

tres chic

  1. Zacatecas vs. Santos – Copa MX

This is the Clausura (“closing”) Copa.  Just as the Mexican season is divided into two halves, so there are two Copas. This is in the Group Stage.  The top two leagues’ teams are divided into Groups of three for a single Round Robin.  Winners of each advance.

Zacatecas is the only second-division team in their Group.  But the got a draw against Toluca in their first match, and Santos isn’t nearly as good.  Noobstradamus is calling this one for the host Miners.

RESULT:   Santos   0-1     Turns out the egg was on Noobstradamus’ face

Image result for noobstradamus

 

Yo pronostico juevos en mis pantalones.

 

Juevos por todas las personas.

  1. Club Brugge vs. Sporting Charleroi – Belgian FA Cup

It’s a shame these two are meeting in the Quarterfinals, given that they’re #1 and #2 in Belgium’s top league.  That said, Brugge will win.   They score half again as many goals as Charleroi, and boast the league’s second-best defense as well.

RESULT:   Brugge   5-1

Wednesday, 1/17

  1. Wigan Athletic vs. AFC Bournemouth – FA Cup

For those who love underdogs, Wigan is your team today.  They’re in 1st place In third-tier League One, kicking tail and taking names.

For Noob, it’s all about the Fighting Cherries.  Bournemouth are my first Adopted team.  They’re coming off a sweet upset of Arsenal a couple days ago.  Here’s to hoping that confidence carries over now.  They tied 2-2 in their first meeting, so this is another Replay.

RESULT:   Wigan   3-0     Sadness reigns!   Noob’s fave goes down

Image result for fighting cherries

 

Fighting cherries.  Right.

  1. Oldham Athletic vs. Leicester Academy – EFL Trophy

A reminder of what this event is:  While FA Cup, has hundreds of teams from many levels of English football, EFL Trophy is a tournament just for the third and fourth-tier leagues, plus the Youth teams of clubs from the top two leagues.

The winner here gets the last Quarterfinal slot.  Oldham play in third-tier League One, and are barely above the Relegation line there.  Noob would have no idea how to handicap them against a U21 squad, so we’ll all learn together, Noobites.

RESULT:   Oldham   4-2

  1. Dorados de Sinaloa vs. Monterrey – Copa MX

Dorados lost their first Group Stage match to a fellow Ascenso league side.  At home or not, Apertura Copa champion Monterrey are going to swallow them whole.

RESULT:   Monterrey   1-2     The Albiazules come back with goals at 75′ and 90′.

  1. Espanyol vs. Barcelona – Copa del Rey

Spain’s FA Cup is down to 16 teams.  Unlike a lot of these sorts of events, they’re play two-legged ties (two games) to determine who advances.

And so, good news, La Liga 14th-place Espanyol!  You’ve overachieved.  Bad news.  You drew league-undefeated Barcelona as your opponent.  Good luck with that.  Here’s creepy shite to help…

RESULT:   Espanyol   1-0      Holy mackerel!

Image result for good luck charm soccer

  1. Morocco vs. Guinea – African Nations Championship

You’ll find this event frequently abbreviated as “CHAN” many places, Noobites.  It’s early in its Group Stage.

This event is a tough one for Noob to handicap.  FIFA rankings for national teams just don’t seem likely to be applicable here.  Players are only eligible if they are both from and play in a league IN their respective countries.  No expatriates allowed.

RESULT:   Morocco   3-1

Thursday, 1/18

  1. South Africa vs. Sweden – women’s international friendly

Dan the Intern-o Inferno has made it clear to me he will always pick the lady Swedes in the ongoing Midweek Prognostication Challenge (*echo* challenge..challenge..) below.

Who can blame him for this bias?  They’re sure to be lovely, and they carry a superior FIFA ranking to that of the South Africans (who are also lovely and kick-ass Noob is certain).

RESULT:     ppd

**PROGNOSTICATION CHALLENGE**

(*echo* challenge..challenge..)

WEEK 3 PICKS

Dan the Intern-o Inferno:  Mansfield, Monaco (“you try living in a country the size of a thumbnail”), Sporting Charleroi, Santos, Wigan, Oldham, Espanyol, Guinea, Dorados, and (of course) Sweden

The Management:  Mansfield, Nice, Brugge, Zacatecas, Bournemouth, Leicester Academy, Espanyol, Morocco, Dorados, South Africa

Noobstradamus:  Cardiff, Monaco, Brugge, Zacatecas, Bournemouth, Oldham, Barcelona, Morocco, Monterrey, Sweden

–Every Midweek, we pick the 10 midweek Tracked matches.  Pick a winner, get a point.  Pick a predesignated heavy underdog, get two points. —

Week Two Results:    The Management = 3;  Dan = 7;  Noob = 7

OVERALL:   Dan = 11;  Noob = 10;  The Management = 7