Tag: Flamutari

’10 to Track’ Globetrotting Friday – Liga MX, Ligue 1, and soccer hinterlands of wonder

International Break is over.  Football club fans can breathe again.   Hey, UEFA Nations league turned out pretty hawt in its Group Stage though.

Now we’re back into the club scene.   On Friday’s, the scheds always run fairly light.  But that just gives is a chance to jet-set around the world together.

The Track starts close to home, as always.  Pretty Eurocentric all the way around, though we’ll bounce to some less-visited leagues there before we meander even farther.

Turn ON electronic devices, smoke ’em if you got ’em and don’t wait – help yourself to the drink cart in back.  Let’s take off!

1. Morelia vs. Cruz Azul – Liga MX

We ease out of International Break – when so many of the top domestic leagues everywhere have been off so that players can take part on their home National Teams’ matches – with a dandy in Mexico.

Every club is about to play their last match of the Apertura. (That’s the first half-season. Most of Latin America has two separate league tournaments each year.) The top half the league (eight clubs) will qualify for the Liguilla (postseason tournament).

Cruz Azul lead second-place CF America by three points in the table. That means if they can manage any kind of result (win or draw, worth three points and one, respectively), they will have wrapped up the #1 seed. True to form from all season, Cruz Azul has only allowed two goals in their last five matches, all wins and draws for them.

Morelia are currently #8, clinging to that last Liguilla berth. Obviously, this is a daunting last match, but at least they get to host it. With a win, they could actually climb as high as 5th place. A loss or even a draw opens the door for the two teams which are two points behind them.

Morelia are as good on offense as their defensively-leaning guests today. But they allow about twice as many goals. Noob thinks they’re good for no better than a draw on their own pitch today.   (8:00 PM Eastern, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Cruz   0-2

B. Lyon vs. St. Etienne – France Ligue 1

This is the best European match of the day, though there are only three being held in the top leagues there. It comes from a league that’s catching a lot of criticism this year. The league has been slipping in the UEFA rankings, and now only its top three clubs will qualify for the next Champions League (the pinnacle of international club tournament competition).

Also, it’s considered a one-club league for quality this year. Paris Saint-Germain are 13-0-0. The other 19 clubs are being referred to as a “farmer’s league”.

** A what? Noob had this answered for us on the Bros Talking Soccer podcast recently as a listener question they fielded. It’s a demeaning term for amateur or semi-pro clubs or leagues in which the players all have day jobs. Think “beer league” or “rec league” as a rough American equivalent from softball or other sports, though those aren’t quite as disparaging. **

In what is otherwise a very tight table, these two are in 4th and 5th place. Lyon have been the more successful team recently, as their competing in the currently-running Champions League. In their last 10 league matches, they only lost one to someone other than PSG. Still, the defense has only been meh.

St. Etienne get a lot of low-scoring draws, don’t appear to have the firepower to compete for a top-three spot. But they’ve not lost in their last four matches, and so can’t be discounted, even in on the road.   (3:00 PM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:   Lyon   1-0       Though those around them now have a game in hand over Lyon, the win today puts them in #B.

Image result for letter B farm

 

 

 

Number B sees no issue with idea of a farmers league.

3. Go Ahead Eagles vs. TOP Oss – Netherlands Eerste Divisie

This is from one of Europe’s better footballing countries, though not its top league. Eerste is the Dutch second division.

Coolly-named Go Ahead Eagles (who were originally “Be Quick”. Really.) are in 1st. That’s the only table position guaranteed to get Promoted to Eredivisie (the Dutch Premier League). At least one other will move up, but there will be playoffs at season’s end to determine what club or clubs get to move up as well.

Top OSS are in 4th. They don’t play “small ball”, but concede the fewest goals in the league at the expense of scoring a very pedestrian amount of goals themselves. They’re not the direct threat for the title that #B Sparta Rotterdam is.

RESULT:   Oss   0-1          With the upset, Oss remain in 4th, but now only two points behind the three co-leaders.

4. Olimpija Ljubljana vs. Mura – Slovenia Prva Liga

Now we deep further down the UEFA domestic rankings to league #30. That’s a touch below average, but remember that Europe’s is the top confederation in the world. And hey – they’re playing. It’s Friday 😛

The majority of leagues qualify just one club to Champions League, which is the case here. Only two teams are at all competing for the title. Ljubljana and Maribor are the two perennial powerhouses and current leaders. Ljubljana trail them by four points in the table here at about the season’s halfway point.

The second-best European international tournament for clubs is the Europa League. Mura is in 3rd right now, just high enough to snag one of those slots. Noob thinks Domzale is going to pass them soon, after the drubbing Mura will endure today.

RESULT:   2-2       Mura with the come-from-behind W!     Goals for them at 89′ and 90′.   Your a bright, shining star, Tomi Horvat!

Image result for Slovenian comedian

 

Slovenia!  Come for the footyball, stay for the…stern-looking comedy clubs?

That’s comedian Marjan Sarec.

5. Flamutari vs. Partizani Tirana – Albania Super League

So the top 30 is about as far down the rankings as Noob looks in Europe for matches with which to intrigue and delight. But now is when we begin our true Friday Globetrotting, Noobites!

Albania’s league is just a little further down the ladder from Slovenia’s (#34). Naturally, they also get just one team into Champions League. Tirana are #1, two points up on Skenderbeu Korce. These are the only two realistic title-chasers.

If you recognize the name Skenderbeu, congratulations! They’ve been on Noob before, noteworthy for having been banned 10 years from international competion for match-fixing. Flamutari are in 6th.

RESULT:   Falmutari   1-0       Upset City!

6. Balzan vs. Hamrun Spartans – Malta Premier

Couple o’ midtable teams from Malta. #47 league in Europe. Let’s just Fun Fact these bad boys.

Fun Fact: The village of Balzan is only a few thousand people. But it’s part of an area known as Three Villages and borders the city of Birkirkara (country’s second-largest).

Fun Fact: Hamrun are also nicknamed tas-sikkina, meaning “of the knife”, roughly. It might refer to many people from there being stevedores on the docks, or to Sicilians living there illegally in the 1500’s who were known to do dances that involved pulling the stiletto knives from their socks and waving them around.

RESULT:   2-2

7. Gibraltar United vs. Glacis United – Gibraltar Premier

League #51 of 55! When you’ve only got a population of maybe 35,000 people, hard to climb very high. Gibraltar United is in 3rd. They’re fewer than ten matches into the season, but it already appears they won’t have the defense to keep up with the usual championship suspects – Europa FC and Lincoln Red Imps. Glacis are in 7th.

RESULT:    United   2-1

8. Ferizaj vs. Prishtina – Kosovo Premier

Kosovo’s league is #53. That’s so low, the country only gets two clubs into the Europa League instead of the more usual three.

But this may be mostly due to how new specifically-Kosovar football is. They’ve only had their own recognize football federation since the 2016-17, and didn’t start earning points for ranking until a year after that. With a population of about two million, they should be able to raise the league to a a higher profile in time.

Ferizaj are in second-to-last place, a position that would get them Relegated at season’s end. So yes, there is at least one more level if football there. Prishtina wouldn’t know. They’re in 1st, having only given up four goals in fifteen matches.

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for Прва савезна лига у фудбалу

 

 

Prishtina was the best club from what is now Kosovo back in the Yugoslav First League days.

9. Aiglon vs. New Star – Martinique Division d’Honneur

That southern European weather was dreamy for a couple matches there. Kosovo? Eh. So to the Carribbean we go!

Powerhouse league?  Nah.   But despite being a French Overseas Territory (and so non-FIFA member), in CONCACAF.  Hallooooo, neighbors.

The top two finishers in this league will qualify for the Caribbean Football Union (subgroup of CONCACAF) Club Championship.  That event, in turn, serves as a qualifier for the CONCACAF Champions League.  It’s very early, but Aiglon are #B and the numbers indicate they’ll stay there and have only one threat for the title.   New Star are 5th place.

RESULT:   Aiglon   2-1

10. Al Hudod – Al Quwa Al Jawiya – Iraq Premier

We finish our Trekking Track in Asia! This isn’t quite a top-ten league there, but close, and high enough that they qualify the maximum two teams into the AFC Champions League.

Al Jawiya were runners-up last year, 6-0-0 so for this season. Early results indicate Al Shorta likely to be their top threat. It certainly won’t be Al Hudod, wallowing down in 13th. Why so bad? See that there? Noob just scored on Hudod. There, it happened again. Bless you. Someone sneezed and scored on ’em. You get the idea.

RESULT:   Hudod   1-0     A clean sheet?  Well, well!

Kahramana

 

 

 

So long from Baghdad, home of Al Hudod!

 

Statue of Karahmana and the forty jars

’10 to Track’ Globetrotting Friday (11/2) – USL playoffs, LigaMX, then we’re off to see the world

The ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game.

On Friday’s, schedules run a little lighter.  Noob takes the opportunity to hit up the best local games, and then it’s off to soccer hinterlands less-known!

Come, jet-set with Noob.  The bags of peanuts in-flight are HYOOJ.

  1. Louisville FC vs. New York Red Bulls II – United Soccer League playoffs

Time for the Eastern Conference Final!  Defending champions Louisville host the Red Bull reserve teams.  They finished the regular season #2 and #5, respectively.

Louisville’s been clicking on both sides of both for weeks so, to the tune of nine straight wins.  The defense has been quite good, the offense – phenomenal.

NRYB Jr. have won five straight.    They’ve been comparable on defense, if not quite as dominant on offense.

It’s an interesting twist.   Through most of the regular season, they were both scoring like gangbusters, but with NYRB doing so very much at the expense of defense.  Now Red Bulls have switched their habits around.

No matter which style NY2 play, LFC are the clear fave.  Winner gets either Orange County or Phoenix for the title.   (7:30 PM EST, ESPN+)

RESULT:    L’ville  5-1       Devon Williams with two goals in two minutes

Image result for letter B tiger

 

 

 

Looks like we know which club Number B is rooting for.  Awwwww!

B.  Morelia vs. UANL Tigres – Liga MX

Three matches to go in the Apertura (first half-season).  And since each of the two half-seasons are only 17 matches long, it means things in the table are tight.  Top eight make the Liguilla (postseason tournament).

Morelia’s in 7th, but their numbers don’t make them look like a Playoff team.  The offense is borderline, but the defense is bottom quartile-caliber.  Still, they’re trending the right way.  After not winning a match for more than a month straight, they’re now winners of three in a row.  Those three were against bottom-half teams, but it’s still something.

Tigres are #8.  Two teams trail them by just a point.   They’ve not won in their last four, the defense having completely fallen apart (11 goals allowed).

9th-place Pachuca is going to pass at least one of these two.  So if one of these two loses today, Noob considers it an elimination match of sorts.   (9:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

  1. Paris Saint-Germain vs. Lille – France Ligue 1

Hard to believe PSG is looking like they might get eliminated from the current Champions League at the group stage.   They’re not having any trouble in their domestic league.   11-0-0, eight points up on #B Lille in the table already.

Lille sport an above average offense and defense.    No reason to think they’ll have any trouble finishing in the top three and qualify for the 2019-20 Champions League.  They just won’t look like it today.   PSG 3-1 today.

RESULT:   PSG   2-1     Mbappe with a goal and an assist

  1. Al Ahly vs. Esperance – CAF Champions League

The Final!    Two matches, home and away, for the club title in Africa.

Al Ahly are the #1 team in all Africa.  It doesn’t even seem to be particularly close.   Noob’s Elo ratings-source footballdatabase.com indicated it.  So does my newer one for Elo-ish numbers – soccerverse.com.  (The former has been down for long enough recently that I’m worried it’s gone for good.)

They’re well down the table in their domestic league so far this year, but that’s mostly by virtue of having played far fewer matches than most teams there.  The international play leads to a lot of postponements for them.   Extrapolate their basic stats out and they’re easily performing like a top-four club.

They host what may well be the #2 club on the continent.  This looks like an awful matchup for the Tunisians.  They’re struggling on defense in their league, and Ahly is just relentless on offense.   Ahly by two on their own pitch today.

RESULT:   Ahly   3-1           Walid Soliman scored twice on penalties in a match that also featured a third penalty score

Image result for math is dumb

 

Mathing.

 

I know, right?

  1. El Entag El Harby vs. Smouha – Egyptian Premier

You know, as long as we’re here!

Top two finishers qualify for the next Champions League.  Right now, these two are #B and #3, respectively.  ENEH have played a game or two more than the teams around them in the table.  They’re not going to stay this high in all likelihood.   They don’t score enough, plain and simple.

Smouha, however, look to have the firepower to at least flirt with a top-two finish.  They will be hard-pressed to catch #1 El Zamalek (best O and D in the country) or hold of Al Ahly.  But so far, Smouha looks very balanced and sound.

RESULT:   2-2        Smouha blows an 0-2 halftime lead

  1. URA vs. Nyamityobora – Uganda Premier

Uganda’s top flite Is a league on the move.  They just cracked the CAF rankings for the first time recently, appearing at #18.   They’d have to move up a few more notches to qualify two teams to Champions League, but it’s a start.

It’s too early to perhaps say much, fewer than a half dozen matches into the season.  but #5 URA appear to be a Small Ball team – pack it in on defense, don’t try to even score much themselves.

Noob believes The Nyamity-ville Horror-obora just got Promoted to top tier this year.  Judging by their utter lack of defense, they’ll be headed right back down.

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for that was horrible gifWhat, the play on words there?

Quiet, Adam Scott!   Don’t you have a “Krampus” sequel to go shoot?

  1. 1 de Agosto vs. Hulia – Angola Girabola

Congrats to Angola’s domestic top league!   Big jump coming in the 2019-20 rankings – #17 all the way to #9.

1dA didn’t need the league to have an extra berth into Champions League last season like it will get soon.  They only lost one match all last season.   How?  By only giving up eight goals in 28 matches.   Stifling.

Hulia finished 6th, as perfectly average as they could be, statistically.

RESULT:         is now slated for Sun., 11/4

That African stint can be so draining.  Let’s take a break for the third-ever installment of —

Noob’s Sandwich Reviewoobs!

@MLS on Twitter asked the important, obvious question.  Essentially, is a hot dog, in fact, a sandwich?

Among most noble apes, a sandwich is defined as any meat or other filling between two SLICES of bread.  Buns are NOT slices, or Noob’s name is John Montagu.

To be fair, one can find definitions and contexts where any pieces of bread – sliced or otherwise – are called “sandwich”.  I’m not here to argue against that.

Because it’s already been establish in Amuricuhn court of LAW.

In 2006, A Worcester, MS judge ruled against Panera in a heated case regarding a non-compete clause in a mall food court.  The judge allowed the mall could rent to Qdoba, that tacos and burritos were NOT sandwiches.  His or Her Honor formally told Panera, “Sit on it, Potsy” in the ruling and summary.

What’s fun is that most of that is true.

So — is a hot dog a sandwich?  No.  Heretical.  Illegal!

@MLS, thanks for the picture of the cute kid.  But Noob rates your sandwich question  at a mere two and a half out of five sandwiches on the Noob Sandwich Reviewoob sandwich rating scale.

  1. Ballymena United vs. Glenavon – Northern Ireland Football League Premiership

Next, we jet-set to Europe.  This is one of Europe’s very weakest domestic leagues.  In fact, it’s only semi-professional.  But hey — they’re playing!

They get just the one berth into Champions League.  Glenavon are #1 now, but they only lead Linfield by a point.  They lead the league in scoring, and trail just Linfield in defensive prowess (albeit by a lot).

#3 Ballymena are nicely balanced, but are ten points behind their league-leading hosts.  At least they’re in a position to perhaps get one of the league’s two automatic invites to Europa League.

RESULT:   Bally   2-1

Image result for flying first class funny

 

 

Mr. Bean always flies first class for NIFL Premiership.

  1. Kukesi vs. Flamutari – Albania Superliga

Our second and final stop on our European league takes us to the #34 league in UEFA.  Below average, but a damn sight higher than Northern Ireland.  Wheeeeeeee!

These are the #3 and #5 clubs there currently.  Kukesi are only four points in back of league leaders Skenderbau Korce, but that team’s been the power there for forever.  Even recently getting a 10-year ban from FIFA over match-fixing hasn’t seemingly slowed that bunch much.

If recent history holds, Kukesi won’t catch the Banned Ones or #B Tirana.  Flamutari are far less likely.   When the defense gets down to league average, those clubs won’t be able to stop the perennial title contenders.

RESULT:   Flamutari   1-2

  1. Melbourne City vs. Sydney FC – Australia A-League

The league season is just getting (Down) underway in OZ.  Yet already a big trophy has been awarded.   League defending champs Sydney FC just lost in the FFA Cup final to Adelaide.

Melbourne City finished #3 last year, a nice push for a team that’s historically only average there.  They were either lucky or tough or both, too, as they didn’t score a lot compared to their peers.

RESULT:   Sydney   0-3     Paulo Retre with a goal an an assist

Image result for Melbourne australia funny

 

 

So long from Melbourne!  

Apparently so violent, their club may soon get a Copa Libertadores invitation.

’10 to Track’ Globetrotting Friday soccer matches – a world of footyball awaits!

Fridays tend to be a little lighter for soccer scheds around the world.  So we pack our bags and hit the tarmac!   Let’s Trot – learn some Fun Facts about teams and leagues from far and wide.

As always, we start close to home, then expand our soccer horizons.

  1. Atlanta United II vs. North Carolina FC – United Soccer League

Welcome to the only high-end match in America.  No MLS today, but do get one second-tier game.

ATL2 is down in 14th in the Eastern Conference.  For all the success Atlanta’s MLS side is having, their reserve team is lousy.

North Carolina is one of the USL clubs Noob has a soft spot for.  They moved over from the almost seemingly-defunct North American Soccer League.  To know why, please check out the Interviews D-Twosday page on this site.  Those are a gas, and so unreal you’ll hardly believe they’re believable.  Yup!  That came out right.

Anywho, NCFC is in 10th place.  Not scintillating, except a little when you remember each conference gets it’s top eight into the Playoffs.  They’re only three points out of 8th.

There’s a massive gulf in the table between ATL2 and those below and everyone else.  NC probably wins by a goal or two here on the road.

RESULT:   NC   1-6    Not a typo.   Cameroonian forward Ulrich Donovan Ewolo has four goals.

B.  Puebla vs. CF America – Liga MX

They’re about halfway through the Apertura (first half-season) in Mexico.  Unsurprisingly, CFA is near the top (3rd).   Puebla are in 10th.  They’re likely better than that and will climb.  They win a lot but almost never draw, which is painful in the table.

RESULT:   CF America   2-3       Puebla lead twice before giving up the winning score at 90′.  And CFA had even just lost a man to a red card at 88′.

Image result for letter B hurt

 

 

 

Can’t tell if Number B is mildly scolding or in pain, a la Puebla.

  1. Necaxa vs. Monterrey – Liga MX Femenil

Little Billy Donovan from Springfield writes:

Dear Mr. Noob,

Why do you list the Mexican men’s league before the women’s?  My mom says it’s because you’re a misogynistic – well, she’ll wash my mouth out with soap if I use the word she did.

Billy, thanks for writing in.  Wait, how did you know Noob would — know what?  Never mind.

But since you’re writing, wouldn’t your mom just end up harmlessly washing your hand if you wrote the bad word she did?  Also, she sounds like quite the hypocrite, and you can tell her Noob said so.  I’ll bet she’s not even hot.

When Noob featured matches from both leagues in the same Track, I list first whichever match is more intriguing and/or features teams that are collectively higher in their table.

Necaxa are in last in their Group.  (The league is divided into two.)  Monterrey are in 4th, need to climb two spots to make the Playoffs.   That quest moves forward today.  Visitors by a couple, easy.

RESULT:   Monterrey   0-2

  1. Wydad Casablanca vs. ES Setif – CAF Champions League

Africa’s version is in its Quarterfinals, where each matchup is a two-legged, home-and-away affair.

Noob Tracked the first leg not long back, and ES Setif took care of business at home with a 1-0 win.  Now it’s the defending champions’ turn to host.  Based on their ELO ratings (thank you, footballdatabase.com), Noob figures Wydad is easily a goal favorite at their own place, probably a 3:2 favorite with take it by two goals and advance.

RESULT:   0-0     And so the champs are OUT.  ES Setif moves on to the Semis.

Image result for Wydad Casablanca

 

 

Apparently, Wydad supporter’s know or assume Gerard Butler is a supporter, too.

  1. Cork City vs. Dundalk – League of Ireland Premier

It’s the pair of clubs longer-tenured Noobites knew would be at the top at the end, if not the order.

Defending champs Cork City are down seven points in the table.  They need a win today or the race is over.  Since it’s on their pitch, that’s more likely than not to happen.  But only by a tiny bit.  Dundalk have the advantage of only needing to play for a draw.  And they’re better on both sides of the ball, really put it all together this season.

Fun Fact:  Cork City are supporter-owned, by FORAS.  It stands for Friends of the Rebel Army and is Irish for “development”.

RESULT:   Dundalk   0-1      While it’s not a mathematical certainty, Noob’s ready to call the league finished!  Congrats to the fighting ‘Dalks!   I’m sure that’s their nickname…

  1. HJK vs. RoPS – Finland Veikkausliga

It’s all but over in Finalnd as well.  HJK lead #B RoPS by nine with just a few matches left to play.  These two play very good if not quite great D.  The difference has been HJK scores nearly twice a game on average while RoPS is only average in that department.   Today is probably coronation day for the defending titleholders.

RESULT:   HJK   3-0     Give HJK another crown!

Image result for hjk

 

 

For about two seconds, Noob didn’t notice this was a split image.

Yup.  Thought HJK fielded a giant.

  1. Zalgiris Vilnius vs. Suduva – Lithuania A Lyga

This league isn’t quite a true summer one like the above two, is only about 2/3 of the way through.  And the title race is closer.  Suduva won last year narrowly over ZV, and the margin is about the same now.

Still, ZV at home is the play if you’re such a gambling addict that Lithuanian soccer is part of your fix.  Degenerate!

Fun Fact:  Zalgiris’ supporters group are Pietų IV.   Noob has no idea how to begin to pronounce that.

RESULT:   ZV   1-0

  1. Al-Wahda vs. Al-Wasl – Arabian Gulf League

This is the top league in United Arab Emirates.   They’re just a couple matches into the season.  These were last year’s #B and #3 squads.  Wasl will have to accelerate on offense a little more to play for a second-place spot.  They’ll need a miracle to surpass Al-Ain.  Both would.

RESULT:   Al-Wahda   4-1

Image result for snobbish funny

 

Al-Wahda are nicknamed “Excellencies”.

Ooh la la!   

Here is your rrrroast. Duck, Al-Wahda.

  1. Partizani Tirana vs. Flamutari – Albania Super Liga

Partizani finished 5th last season.  Normally that would get you squat, but perennial powerhouse Skenderbeu Korce got hit with a record ten-year ban from international play by UEFA.   That moved the tournament invitations down a rung in table each, so allowed P.T. to eke into Europa League.  Where they got skunked over two matches in the first qualifying round.

If you’d like to know a little more about the S.K. match-fixing nawteeness, Noob recommends checking out Bros Talking Soccer, podcast episode 90.  The question comes at the 35’, but why not listen to the whole thing?  One of only three podcasts on which I spend time.  Look, they’re Bros.   They talk.  And it’s about soccer.  In this day and age, it’s hard to find such transparency in the offering!   Muy bueno.

Oh yeah, Flamutari was 6th last year.  OK.

Fun Fact:  Brostalkingsoccerpodcast.com is the website  where Noobites can get mucho info.

RESULT:   Tirana   2-0

  1. Go Ahead Eagles vs. Jong Ajax – Netherlands Eerste Divisie

Noob finishes our ‘Trotting Track in the Netherlands second division!   Both teams this very early season are high enough in the table to be in the Promotion conversation.  Jong (Young) Ajax are disallowed though, as reserve teams there can’t move up to top flite.

Only the top finisher will move up automatically.  GHE are #B, which places them atop the spots that will qualify for the postseason Promotion playoffs.  They’re leading the league in offense, and Noob considers them to easily be a goal favorite today.

RESULT:   Eagles   2-1

Image result for speelgoedmuseum deventerSo long from the Toy Museum, Deventer — home of Go Head Eagles!

The city.   They don’t live with the toys.