Tag: Fox Deportes

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition (11/27-29) soccer match previews – MLS Semis end the MWE!

“The ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game” – hit their peak of importance today. MLS Semifinals! After tonight, we’ll know who’s playing for the big trophy.

Tuesday and Wednesday’s match results follow below. Remember you can always check back for results on every single day, plus often a note or two about who starred, or how the results affected what was at stake.

Thursday

9. Sporting Kansas City vs. Portland Timbers – Major League Soccer

Second leg of the Western Conference Finals! While any team would of course like to get a road win every time, #1 KC got the draw in Portland in the first match of this two-game series. Now they have the chance to take care of business at home.

But that scoreless draw has to be troubling for them. Goalkeeper Tim Melia of USMNT fame played well and Graham Zusi was a monster on the back defensive line. But Noob highlighted Daniel Salloi for that first match and instead of starring, he was the weak link, losing duels and not being terribly good with passes.

The 5th-seed Portland was better on passing, held the ball longer, and created more shots on goal. That didn’t and won’t matter if they can’t get better play from striker Jeremy Ebobisse though.

Ultimately, it’s hard to beat home cookin’. KC did what was necessary, if just, and should be a moderate to heavy favorite at home.   (9:30 PM Eastern, ESPN)

RESULT:   Portland    2-3           Diego Valeri with two Timbers goals, including the game winner at 90′

10. New York Red Bulls vs. Atlanta United – Major League Soccer

Some are calling the Eastern Conference finals the de facto league finals. Both teams had several more point in the the table than K.C.

#B Atlanta laid the smack down at their place in the first leg of this overall Semi, 3-0. Franco Escobar was the slightly-surprisng star with both a goal and an assist. This club has the best offense in the entire league. It will be interesting to see if they keep dancing with the girl that brought them and continue attacking, or try to take the air out of the ball with such a big lead from the first leg.

NYRB have a HYOOJ hole to dig themselves out of. Lots of goals will certainly mean the involvement of BrandonWright-Phillips, who looked like an MVP the first half of the MLS season. Not that he tanked after that, but his effectiveness definitely diminished. But if the right side of Red Bulls’ back line get manhandled again (Tim Parker, Michael Murillo), BWP’s possible resurgence won’t matter.   (7:00 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   NYRB   1-0         But it’s not enough!    ATL will host the single-match Final versus Portland.

Image result for the world of red bull funnySo long from…wherever the Red Bull box cart races were held.

Yeeeah.  Wow.

 

Extra Credit: Two Liga MX qf’s, a couple dozen group stage Europa league matches, Copa Sudamericana sf, El Salvador and Guatemala qf’s, second round Arab Club Championship

Wednesday

3. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur vs. Inter Milan – UEFA Champions League

You can scroll down to the Tuesday portion of the Midweek Track for a few extra details on the event, should you be a completely unseasoned Noobite.

Noob-reviled Hotspur is nearly out of Champions League, as is good, right and appropriate. When your club is named for an historic traitor (Harry Percy), good things cannot follow.

The scourge of England’s Premier League, Hotspur trail Inter by three points in the table and won the first match between them (tiebreaker). Since Hotspur’s remaining match other than this one is at #1 Barcelona, they’re in desperate need of a win today.

Hotspur are winners of five straight across all competitions. Inter are in just 5th in Italy’s Serie A. Where Hotspur lack a little offensive punch compared to many other top teams, Inter have been sagging on defense. Bad matchup for the visitors, sadly.   (3:00 PM Eastern, TNT)

RESULT:   Hotspur   1-0

Image result for sir topham hatt furious

 

 

Sir Topham Hatt — flexing the pimp hand.  Gotta keep it strong for those Hotspur COYS.

 

4. Paris Saint-Germain vs. Liverpool – UEFA Champions League

This is the most competitive Group going here. Liverpool and Napoli are tied for first. PSG are just a point behind and Red Star Belgrade only a point behind them in turn.

PSG are running roughshod over Ligue 1 – no losses or draws. Yet many people Noob reads suggest the league is not very good this year. Liverpool have yet to lose in Champions League, putting them in second place there. Neither team allow goals.

Both teams are stronger than the ones in Track Match three here. If either doesn’t qualify for the Knockout Round, that’s big news.   (3:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   PSG   2-1

5. Porto vs. Schalke – UEFA Champions League

Three matches from one event? Thought you were filtering event like these, Noob.

Oh, but I am. But I won’t ignore important ones this late in the Group Stage just for the sake of it. Porto is Portugal’s #1 team. That doesn’t make them one of the very strongest clubs remaining, but they won’t be a pushover for anyone next round. They’re dominating the Primeira Liga and can score and defend amazingly.

Germany’s Schalke trail Porto by two in the Group C table. An upset win today would guarantee them a berth in the Knockout Round. And it would be a remarkable upset at that. In the Bundesliga, they’re playing so darn badly that they’re fighting just to stay out of the Relegation Zone.

They don’t defend half badly, but they didn’t wow on offense last year and don’t score much at all now. Still, they lead the Group 3rd-place team by four, seem likely to sneak out of the Group Stage no matter how today goes.

RESULT:   Porto   3-1

Image result for schalke 04 funny

 

 

 

Is that the German Mr. Magoo?

 

6. Monterrey vs. Santos – Liga MX

Let the playoffs begin! This is the Liguilla. The eight best teams from the Apertura (first half-season) qualified. This is a bracketed tournament. Each pair of teams will play two-legged, home-and-away series.

It is seeded just like the NCAA basketball tourney would be, and this is your 4/5 matchup. Santos has been a shade better on both sides of the ball. More, they haven’t lost to Monterrey in their last three matches. But Monterrey haven’t lost in three matches, while Santos didn’t win in any of their last three.   (10:06 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Monterrey    1-0

7. Saprissa vs. Herediano – Costa Rica Premier

This is CONCACAF’s third-strongest league. They might argue they’re better than MLS. Mexicans might argue their second division league is better. Regardless, this is a sneaky-good football league.

And the Playoffs are already underway! The top four qualified for this postseason tournament. Apertura regular season champs Saprissa host this second match of the home-and-away Semifinal series. Herediano – the other perennial power here – finished 4th, won the first leg 1-0 at their place.

Saprissa was better on both sides of the ball all Apertura, but particularly so on offense. That one-goal deficit should be one they can overcome today, move on to the Final.

RESULT:   Saprissa   1-0       …which means the series was tied and they moved on to penalty kicks!    Herediano advances to the final on those, 2-4

Image result for costa rica premier logo

 

 

One foot-sport, one heart.  

But the logo’s more than a little puffy-nipply.   No.

8. Portmore United vs. Tivoli Gardens – Jamaica Premier

This, too, is one of CONCACAF’s stronger domestic leagues – almost certainly the best of the island nations in our federation. Hallooo, neighbors! Noob’s making a concerted effort to get to know ya. May I borrow a cup of sugar?

The top six finishers here will make the Playoffs, with the top two getting byes into the Semifinals. They’re a dozen matches into the season, and rhese two are #1 and #3. This is a classic best offense versus best defense scenario. An upset win wouldn’t move Gardens into 1st, but would tighten up an already good-looking race.

RESULT:   Portmore   2-0

Extra Credit:   the other UEFA Champions League matches, Costa Rican semifinal, Liga MX qf; 

Also, Spain’s Copa del Rey round of 32 match, Copa Argentina sf, Copa Sudamericana sf, Czech Cup Round of 16, Guatemala National League sf

Also, #1 Shkendija vs. #3 Academy Pandev in Macedonai’s Prva Liga, Russian FA Cup qf, very early round CAF Champions League, #3 Brittania vs. #2 Nacional in Aruba’s Division di Honor, second round Arab Club Championship

Tuesday

1. Lyon vs. Manchester City – UEFA Champions League

But make no mistake, I’m glad it’s back, baybeeeeee! A quick reminder for the newest Noobites what the it is:. League champions and other top teams of Europe in the crown jewel of all club tournaments. They’re currently in the Group Stage. Pods of four playing double round robins. Top two finishers from each will advance to the Knockout (single elimination, bracket-style) Stage. Everybody’s got two matches to go.

Man City is thought by many to be the #1 team in the world currently. They’re undefeated in Premier League play, lead Lyon by three point in the Group F table. But they’ve lost one match.

To Lyon. At Man City! The French team is a distant #B to undefeated Paris Saint-Germain in Ligue 1 there, but #B nonetheless. They haven’t lost to anyone, anywhere, besides PSG since August. Yet strangely, that win over Man City is their only win in Group F. All their other matches have ended in draws.

So what’s at stake? Noob’s laser-focused of late on stakes, letting you know why any given match is important. Man City are almost 100% to advance to the Knockout Round now, and any result (win or draw) will seal that deal.

A win for Lyon would do the same. Anything else, and the door is very much open for the other two Group F clubs, trailing by three and four points, respectively. So yes, remaining undefeated with a draw would leave the, in jeopardy yet. What a tournament.

Oh, and based on ELO ratings (thank you, footballdatabase.com), Noob thinks Man City will win easily, 1-2 goal margin, in France.

RESULT:   2-2         Maxwell Cornet with a goal and an assist for Lyon as they blew two leads.  

B. AS Roma vs. Real Madrid – UEFA Champions League

Noob is often reluctant to feature multiple matches from the same league or tournament on a given day. I wish to act as filter for we newish fans, allow us to focus on the most important things, yet with a broad gaze. Eight matches today for UEFA CL. We can do two.

It’s an easy decision when the three-time defending champions are in the mix, too. Real and Roma are tied for the Group G lead. The next team down is five points behind. Look, these two are going through to the Knockout Stage no matter how the match ends today. But finishing 1st or runner-up matters for seeding in the next Round, so this match is still monster.

Defending champs or not, this isn’t the same Real team of recent years. Losing the greatest active player in the world – Cristiano Ronaldo – will have that effect. They’re in just 5th place in La Liga and just suffered a blistering 3-0 loss to Eibar. If you don’t know that name, that’s the point. And their newfound issues are on both sides of the ball.

Yet after a 3rd place Italian Serie A finish last year, Roma have slipped as many places as Real – down to 7th at present. They’d appeared to have the righted their ship to some degree of late, but than lost to Udinese last time out. Once again, if you don’t know that club, that’s the point.

Real’s crash back to earth this year has been the steeper fall. Still, Noob wouldn’t put Roma at any better than an even match for them at home.

RESULT:   Real   0-2

New feature! EXTRA CREDIT will appear with some frequency now – these are events, matches Noob scouted for a given date but that didn’t make the cut for the Track.

Extra Credit: Early round-Coupe de France, Scotland’s FA Cup, very early round 2018-19 CAF Champions League, later round EFL Cup (tournament of tertiary importance in England), and Semifinals of Africa’s women’s Cup of Nations – all are in action.

ALSO! Congrats to Guadalajara, UANL, America and Pachuca of Liga MX Femenil. They all just qualified for the Semifinals of the Apertura (first half-season) there.

Noob’s trying to learn women’s and more CONCACAF soccer in general, but the site I use (for the moment) screws up dates something fierce. I’d scouted the Quarterfinals I thought were today, but they’re in the books already. Part of the learning for Noob is finding the best resources.

 

’10 to Track’ Saturday (11/10) soccer matches – Champions Leagues, give us more!

The ten most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game.

Quirkly little slogan for the Track, the backbone feature of this project.  What does it mean, what is Noob?

The goal is to give starter-level preview several times a week on the most important matches for newer fans to follow.   Nothing taxing, yet informative on what’s going on in America, North America, England and beyond.  Local first, never local only.

And it’s all done with hopefully enough weirdness to bring something to even more seasoned fans.  The Quest for Number B.  Sandwich Reviewoobs.  Scorning “real” named teams that aren’t deserving.  Isle of Sodor Premier League coverage.  Hopefully soon a Stolen Mailbag feature soon.

Saturdays are a little less weirdness, a little more footyball.  Dig in!

  1. Boca Juniors vs. River Plate – Copa Libertadores

South America’s Champions League has reached its Final!   This is the first match of the two-legged, home and away tie.  Not that either will be travelling far.  Both are based in Buenos Aires.

This is one of the fiercest rivalries in sports anywhere in the world.  The fact that the teams are only in 8th and 10th, respectively, in the Argentine Premier so far means nothing here and now.  These are two historical powers in the country and on the continent.

They’re only about ten matches into the league season.  River Plate will climb.  The offense might not be quite everything it could be, but the defense is #1 in the league.  Juniors have gone the other way so far – top four-offense, struggling on D.

Two quick Fun Facts about this matchup.  A year ago, it couldn’t have even happened as a Final.  Previously, if two teams from the same country reached the Semis, they had to face one another.  The goal was to try and ensure the Finals were a multi-nation affair, help the ratings.  That rule was just removed.

Also, both teams were formed in Boca, the same barrio of Buenos Aires.  River Plate are now based in Belgrano, a northern barrio.   (3:00 PM EST, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:     suspended due to rain; now slated for 2:00 PM EST tomorrow on Deportes

B.  Persepolis vs. Kashima Antlers – AFC Champions League Final

Another Final!   And this time, the trophy’s being handed out.  Japan’s 2016-17 J1 League runners-up Kashima won the first leg 0-2.

Today, they try and finish things off against the defending Iranian domestic league champions.  By Elo rating, Kashima is the better team.  But the difference is small enough that Persepolis should be considered the favorite at home.   But by two goals?  Not likely.

RESULT:   0-0      Kudos to the champs!  Kashima takes the title

  1. Crystal Palace vs. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur – English Premier League

Three clubs remain undefeated in England.  Hotspur is not one of them, but rather right behind them in 4th.   If they can maintain a position at least that high in the table, they’ll qualify for next year’s Champions League.   Palace are down in 14th.

They’re on a three-match win streak across all competitions, but haven’t kept a clean sheet in five.  That’s rather the opposite of their league season to date.   The defense has been quite solid, but the offense isn’t what the truer title contenders have shown.

Tenured Noobites know how Noob feels about Hotspur.  The club is named for historical multi-king traitor Harry Percy.  Rather than spew my usual bile and vitriol over this fact, I’ll use this as an opportunity to preview a hopefully-upcoming feature.  Noob is working on an interview with Will Rivard, creator of website Tottenham Hotspur World (Twitter: @WorldHotspur).

I hope it will be a chance at a slightly deeper dive than Noob gives for individual clubs, the sort of site to which newer fans graduate from Noob.  Perhaps a little club history, news on the current state of the team and where it’s headed, maybe even an explanation on why it’s named for such a cretinous yahoo as Harry “Hotspur” Percy.

Whoops.  I said no bile and vitriol.  Just look for it soon, Noobites.   It should be a treat.

RESULT:   Hotspur   1-0

Image result for sir topham hatt

 

 

Wow, Sir Topham Hatt looks something other than cross for once!

  1. Tigres UANL vs. Puebla – Liga MX

Two matches left for these two in the Apertura (first half-season).  The top half of the league (eight clubs) will qualify for the Liguilla (postseason tournament).

Puebla are in 11th place.  They’re just three points behind 8th-place Pachuca.  Still, they likely need to win both they’re remaining matches to leapfrog the necessary clubs and climb three steps in the table.  Trouble is, they’ve allowed 2+ goals in seven consecutive matches.  They’ve been bottom-four defensively to date.

Tigres are in 7th.  They just broke a three-match non-winning streak with a road W over midtable Morelia.  Before that clean sheet, they’d allowed 11 goals over their last four matches.   (8:00 PM, ESPN Deportes)

RESULT:   Tigres   6-1

  1. Metropolitan Police vs. Newport County – England FA Cup

Yesterday, Noob featured a Minnow Watch and here we get another!   This is the first round of the “Competition Proper”, where teams as high as the third-tier of English football enter the tournament.  Previously, teams from the lower divisions have been battling to get to this point.

Metropolitan Police are one of three seventh-tier teams to have survived those qualifying rounds.  They are out of the Southern League Premier Division South, based in Surrey.  They’re just midtable there, and playing dreadful defense.

Newport Town come calling today, from level four of the English football pyramid.  They’re tied for 5th in League Two, though it’s hard to see how.  They make their host’s defense look divine.

Too just look at stats in their respective leagues, this could be a shootout.  Or given the gap in pyramid level, Newport may just come in and crush them.

RESULT:   Newport   0-2

SmallMetPolicelogo.png

 

 

Higher-league teams could take a lesson from the fine crest-work.

  1. FC Porto vs. Braga – Portugual Primeira Liga

Braga are the lone undefeated team remaining here in UEFA’s #7-ranked league.  Tied with them – FC Porto.   Both lead the rest of the league on both offense and defense.  Top two finishers make the Champions League next year.

A draw would leave both vulnerable to fellow powerhouse Sporting CP just behind.  A win for either gives them a real leg up in the title race, even here early in the season.

RESULT:   Porto   1-0

  1. Connah’s Quay vs. Barry Town – Welsh Premier

The Welsh top flite may be one of Europe’s weakest, but Noob’s always down for more tied-for-1st place action!

Connah’s Quay is no surprise.  They finished 3rd last year, about as low as Noob’s seen in my brief time closely following the footsball.

Barry Town?  Yeah, they were in 7th last year.  They’ve won seven of eight matches running, though every win but one by a single goal.  Soccer may not be a high-scoring affair typically, but that’s unusual even in this sport.  They’re not strong enough up front to keep this up all season long, will drop to midtable.

RESULT:   2-2

  1. Audax Italiano vs. Palestino – Copa Chile

What an odd Final.  With a Copa Libertadores berth going to the FA Cup winner, one would think the best teams would be getting here.  Audax and Palestino are well down the Premier League table in Chile, 11th and 13th, respectively.

Heck, Palestino is only two spots clear of the Relegation Zone!   Noob wonders if a team has ever qualified for the CL and been Demoted in the same season.

This is the first leg of the two-legged, home and away Final.  Between the higher table position and actually having a positive goal differential, Noob supposed Audax has to be the favorite.

RESULT:   Palestino   0-1

Image result for odd chili

 

Mediterranean Chickpea Chili

C’mon, that’s odd chili.

*sigh*  Who’s running images here with Dan the Intern-o Inferno gone?

  1. Zrinjski Mostar vs. FK Sarajevo – Bosnia and Herzegovina Premier

We return to Europe for a #B-#1 matchup.  The league is only ranked #40 (of 55) by UEFA, yet that only rachets up the drama.  Only one club can earn a Champions League invite.

Sarajevo made a late push to finish even 3rd last season.  Now, they lead the pack by five points.  They’ve averaged over two goals per match, which is astounding.  More so, because they’re among the league leaders at goal-stopping, too.

This isn’t must-win for Mostar, as the season is only halfway done.  Yet falling behind by eight points should they take the L at home today would have them in a bad way.  They’re the #B offense in the league, but by a lot.  It will be curious to see if they try pushing the pace at home, or take some of the air out of the ball.  Noob thinks if they make the game wide-open, they’re going to go down.

RESULT:   2-2

  1. Newcastle Jets vs. Sydney FC – Australia A-League

We finish the Saturday track down under in a top-ten Asian League.   Yes, Noob knows they’re their own continent.  They left the OFC for the AFC some years ago.

The season is so young Down under that we’re better served looking at last year’s table.  it was a weird one.  Sydney FC blew everyone out.  Even so, Newcastle had no close competition for runners-up position.

Three matches in this year, Sydney have yet to lose.  Newcastle sits in dead last.  They’ve only scored twice.  Maybe they should try wresting Usain Bolt away from Central Coast Mariners since he hasn’t yet completed a contract with them.   (Yes, that Usain Bolt.  He’s been training with CCM for a while now.)

RESULT:   1-1            Jets’ Nicholas Cowburn equalizes at 87′

Image result for Electrofringe newcastleSo long from Newcastle!

Home of Electrofringe, part of the annual This Is Not Art festival.

experimental electronic and technologically-based art

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – “It’s finished. It’s done! — Frodo Baggins

The ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game.

For the three Midweek days, Noob teases things out from one to three days.  When you have this many Champions League matches from around the world, they needs be spaced out.  Safety first, Noobites.

(Also, Tuesday and Wednesday matches and some resultd are now at bottom.)

Thursday

  1. Trinidad and Tobago vs. Panama – CONCACAF women’s World Cup qualification

This tournament is the women’s CONCACAF Championship, but as it has for many moons, it is also the qualifying event for World Cup.

The Central American and Caribbean teams have finished their opening round of play.  The top finishers from there now join the big North American teams in a Group Stage, hosted in the U.S.  Two Groups of four, top two from each make the Knockout Stage.  Out of that, the top three will go to 2019 World Cup.

These two teams join America and Mexico.  No one from here is beating the US, so it’s about trying to get to #B in the table.  If either of these two wants a shot at what should be Mexico’s slot, it must start with a win today.  That will probably be T&T.  They outscored their opponents 26-1 last stage.

Noob would guess they’re a heavy favorite against Panama, with an 11-5 GD and only finished #B in their pod last round.

  1. Qarabag vs. Arsenal – Europa League

Group Stage, pods of four, top two move on to the Knockout Stage.  That’s where we are in Europe’s secondary international club tournament.

There are two English teams in action today.  Arsenal’s match gets the Track-nod since they’re playing a stronger team and having to go on the road.  Not that today should be much of a for the Brits.

Qarabag’s been having to play qualifications matches to get to this Round, while Arsenal enter the competition only now.   The Azerbaijanis should easily be considered a two-goal underdog on their own pitch.

RESULT:   Arsenal   0-3

  1. Managua vs. Real Esteli – Nicaragua Premier

At least when Noob scouted this match a few days ago, it was #1 vs. #B.   I’m pressed for time over my real job to go to, so can’t even confirm that those table positions are still accurate.   But Noob does recall that the league was starting to turn into a three-horse race, so neither should be any worse than 3rd.

This isn’t one of even Central America’s stronger leagues.  But we’re CONCACAFfeinating ourselves this year, getting to know our federation neighbors.  Noob may add a little extra info here early evening.

Wednesday

  1. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur vs. Barcelona – UEFA Champions League

Scroll down to Tuesday’s mini-previews for some general tournament details.

Then scroll back up and witness Noob’s ire!   Hotspur are named for the historical, traitorous villain Harry Percy.  King and countrymen both, no one could trust him.   Yet he gets a football club named for him.   Maybe MLS will get Benedict Arnold FC as an expansion club someday.   Noob won’t root for them, either!

Team Bile and Vitriol are only about an even match for reigning La Liga champs at home. They’re going to be in bad shape if they can’t get a result of some kind, as they lost 2-0 to Inter Milan in their Group Stage match.  Barca walloped Dutch PSV Eindhoven 4-0 to open their Round.

Napoli hosting Liverpool is just as intriguing, but Noob’s gotta feed his raaaage.   (3:00 PM EST, TNT)

RESULT:   Barca   2-4

Image result for angry fat controller

 

 

 

Hotspur’s making us all Very.  Cross.

  1. Palmeiras vs. Colo Colo – Copa Libertadores

Quarterfinal match in South America’s version of Champions League.   This is the second leg of their home-and-away.

Things are looking grim for the #16 seed, Chilean Colo Colo.   They’re all the way down in 6th in their league, losers of five straight matches over all competitions.  They lost 0-2 to Brazilian behemoths Palmeiras.  They’ve not lost in five straight, have taken over #1 in the continent’s best league.

The winner will get Brazilian Cruziero, or underdog (and up 2-0!) Argentinian Boca Juniors.   (8:45 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Palmeiras   2-0

  1. Kashima Antlers vs. Suwon Bluewings – AFC Champions League

So much CL, you’re going to have to inject it between your toes!

Asia’s version is into its Semifinal, and this is the first Kashima is your 2017 league runner-up from Japan, while Suwon finished 3rd in South Korea.  South Korea’s is the more highly-ranked league in the AFC, but Kashima would still be the favorite, even on a neutral pitch.

The winner will get either Persepolis out if Iran or Qatari club Al-Sadd.

RESULT:   Kashima   3-2       Suwon led 0-2 early

Image result for high on heroin funny

 

 

Replace “heroin” with “soccer”.   

You’re nodding.  I’m nodding.

  1. FCI Levadia vs. Nomme JK Kalju – Estonia Meistriliiga

#B against #1.  Double I’s in the league name.   Meistrliiga, you always bring the sweet relief.

Mr. Rogers once asked kids to do nothing for one minute, just watch the clock on the tv and see how long a minute was, what it felt like.   This is like that for Noob.   Let the high drama of hating Hotspur and all the Champions Leagues action come down a notch.

That’s a good stopping point for today.  Quality, if smaller domestic league match.  Noobites, see you tomorrow when we round out the Ten.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Manchester United vs. Valencia – UEFA Champions League

A reminder of where we are:

The “competition proper” is begun.  We’re seeing the Group Stage now.  Some teams qualified to enter only now, while others had to advance through tournament qualifying round/s.

There are eight groups of four clubs each.  Each club will play a double round robin, home and away matches with each other on in their pod.  Top two finishers move on to the bracketed Knockout Stage.  Third place clubs will get dropped down into a late round of the Europa League.  Last-place sad sacks have to rent halls and serve at table during fine catered dinners for the other three.

(All of that may not be true.  But if Noob ran UEFA…)

All the matches are “important” in this event, and there are eight today.  It’s the top club tournament in the world.  We’ll lean towards our cousins from England in coverage.  Hoffenheim from Germany and Manchester City are a dandy matchup today.  But this is the more interesting one for a particular reason.

Group H looks like a wicked-hard one.  Euros might even be calling it a “Group of Death”.  That seems unnecessarily dark, but ok.  They’ve played just one match each so far.  Man Utd blasted a Swiss club while Spain’s Valencia went down against the defending Italian league champs.

Based on their Elo ratings (Noob hearts footballdatabase.com), Man Utd should easily be a goal favorite at home.   But what makes this match intriguing is the drama going on with the Red Devils.  One of their stars – the Frenchman Pogba – and their manager – Mourinho – are at terrible odds.  The locker room is divided and the club is playing just .500 ball and sitting midtable in the Premier League.

Man Utd does.  Not.   Do.   Midtable.  They vie for titles.  They spend the money.  They finished #B in the EPL last season.  Pogba’s going to get a new team or the manager is going to be out soon.

Noob doesn’t even know what they’re fighting about.  My interest doesn’t run quite that deep.   It’s more fun to imagine the team ordered some sammiches in for a meeting and someone got someone else’s sammich but wouldn’t give it up.  Anyway, it’s perhaps THE story in English football, so our caring-needle is moved.   (3:00 PM EST, TNT)

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for pogba vs mourinho funny“You go over there and eat the turkey on rye you ordered!

I’m staying here with my corned beef.  You work for me!”

B.  Monterrey vs. Zapatec – Copa MX

A reminder of where we are:

Mexico’s leagues have two half-seasons annually – Apertura and Clausura.  We’re in the Apertura.  Concurrent with league play, they also run a Cup tournament during each half-season.  Only teams from the top two leagues compete.

The Group Stage is done.  We’re now seeing the Round of 16 in the bracketed Knockout Stage.  One-off matches, no home-and-away.

Part of the fun of Cups is watching for Minnows – underdogs, teams from leagues other than top-flite – to make deep runs.  Ascenso MX (D2) Juarez has already advanced to the Quarterfinals.  Tonight, we get to see if peers of their will join them.

Zacatepec are in 10th in the Ascenso.  That’s not even high enough to qualify for that league’s Ligilla (postseason)!   Yet here they are, facing mighty Liga MX’s Monterrey.   The only good news for Zaca is that Monterrey has been scuffling a tiny bit of late.  They’re just 1-1-2 in their last four matches.

But they’ve allowed no goals in their last two.  So it’s probably Monterrey by a couple on their own pitch today.   (8:00 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Monterrey   4-2

Image result for Letter B fish

 

 

Number B makes friends with a Tanzanian blobfish.  

Not into Minnows, eh?

  1. Al Ahly vs. ES Setif – CAF Champions League

They’ve reached the Semifinals in Africa!  Here, they play home-and-away series to see who advances.  The #1 team on the continent hosts the first leg today.   Any and everyone would and should favor them by a couple goals.

Why?

ES Setif are the defending Algerian champs.  It’s a strong league there, ranked 4th.  But Egypt’s is #1.  Setif had to enter the tournament earlier than Ahly, may be more tired.  Setif only finished 2nd in their Group to advance.  Ahly won theirs.

But ES Setif just knocked out the defending CAF CL champs last round.   Here we go.

RESULT:   Al Ahly   2-0

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – complete! Welcome, Greek hooligans.

Time for Noob to drop the cherry on this delicious Midweek Edition football cake.   Bring us, Numbah Teyn!!

(Results from Tue. and Wed. are further down.)

* *Clarion ring of silver trumpets* *
We have a Noob c**k up alert!

Match #10, PAOK vs. Arsenal, was not real.     PAOK hosted English Premier League club Chelsea, losing to them 0-1.  Arsenal hosted Ukrainian club Vorskla, winning in a 4-2 rout.

Thursday

  1. PAOK vs. Arsenal – Europa League

Wednesday

  1. Seattle Sounders vs. Philadelphia Union – Major League Soccer

Nine in a row.

Ooooh, how it riles Noob to type that!   Would someone please beat Seattle?   That haven’t even lost in twelve matches.  This is supposed to end with Sounders having peaked to soon, fade late and lose early in or miss the Playoffs.

For less-tenured Noobites, the first hardcore soccer fan I ever met was a university T.A. who was a bandwagon-jumping Seattle fan.  He was neither from nor were we at the time anywhere remotely near Washington state.  It sickened Noob then and now.

The Union had been a nice little streak of their own.  Five wins in a row.  A road draw to crappy Orlando City was understandable perhaps.  The road is the road.  But getting your butt spanked monkey-red 1-4 in your own house to admittedly, surprisingly, and suddenly frisky Montreal is far less so.  In tandem, giving up six goals in those two matches is disconcerting.

The teams are both in 5th place in their respective conferences, though Seattle has a team tied with them on points.  Top six make the Playoffs.

RESULT:   Philly   0-1      Noob’s Sounders nightmare is finally over!

Philly scored at 90′, right after getting a man sent off by red card.   Let there be joy!

Image result for seattle sounders fight and win

 

 

He’s an even bigger d-bag than this “Fight and win”- screaming Sounders ultra.

  1. Young Boys of Bern vs. Manchester United – UEFA Champions League

The most competitive CL match today with an English team may be the other one – Manchester City vs. Lyon.  But Noob did England versus France yesterday, so I’m taking some liberty and switching things up.

Based on their football database.com ELO ratings, Man Utd should hypothetically win this match on a neutral site about 75% of the time.  Converting that in Noob’s and the match being in Switzerland, I figure them to be a goal and a half fave today.

But, as stated above, the road is the road.  Never as easy as it should be.  And while they seem to have recovered from bad losses at bad B&H Albion and then whipped at home 0-3 by Hotspur, the two wins since have been against meh teams at best.

Meanwhile, YBB have started their league season 6-0-0.  Plus, they had to earn their way into the Group Stage here via some qualifying matches.   The whole stew has Noob wishing very much this game were being broadcast stateside.  If Bern were to pull an upset, and with Valencia and Italian champs Juventus lurking here in Group H…

RESULT:   Man Utd   0-3        So much for that Noob-theory

  1. Toronto FC vs. Tigres UANL – Campeones Cup

Never heard of it?   Neither had Noob.   This isn’t a tournament, just a one-off match.  But it’s got American and Mexican clubs playing and there’s a shiny trophy to be presented at the end.  That means I’m in like Flynn!

So let’s get into a few particulars.  This features the reigning MLS champion and the winner of the Campeon de Campeones.  That thing was a match between last season’s winners of the Apertura and Clausura (first and second half-season).

So how have they been doing in their respective leagues seasons this year?  Tigres are in the top half, in the postseason picture.  Not bad.   Toronto, OTOH, is in 9th in the Western conference, nine points out of the playoffs.  Their record is actually above .500, but that’s all they’ve got going for them.   They’re easily a goal underdog, even at home in Canadia.

For all that, they’re still airing it on ESPN2 (8:15 PM).   Yay, footsieball!

RESULT:   Tigres   1-3      UANL in a rout.  Jesus Alberto Duenas with a pair of goals.   

Image result for Campeones Cup funny

 

 

Champions are in Noob’s house?

Tigers are in my house?

  1. Suwon Bluewings vs. Jeonbuk – AFC Champions League

This is the second leg of a Quarterfinal match in Asia.  The winner gets Kashima Antlers in Semis.

Jeonbuk ran away and hid from the rest of the pack this now-completed South Korean K League 1 season.  They won half again as many games as the runners-up.

Defending titleholders don’t auto-qualify, so even if Suwon win this whole shebang, they’re out in 2019.  And they only finished 4th in K League 1 – not high enough.

Sooooo you can imagine how the first match of this two-legged tie went.   Suwon won 0-3.  Yup!  Completely against logic.  Again Noob says, yay footsieball!

RESULT:   Jeonbuk   0-3     And so the scrip got flipped.   But then Suwon won the penalty shootout to advance.   Victory!

  1. Orange County F.C. vs. Real Monarchs SLC – United Soccer League

OK, there’s an argument to be made that the Portland Timbers-Columbus Crew match in MLS is more important.   Make yer own darn footsieball site, Noob’s sticking with the scouted second division match!  It was a Western Conference #1 vs. #B matchup when I scouted it a few days ago.

RM SLC have slipped to 3rd since then.  That suits Noober fine.  You must know by know how I feel about Amuricuhn clubs with “monarchs” or anything “royal/real” in their names.  Down with them!  No kings and queens here.  We fought and won a war up New England way a long while back, and that result still holds!

The Monarchs have treated of late as is good, right and appropriate – 0-1-3 in their last four matches.   They may not fall all the way out of the top eight and miss the Playoffs, but a couple more notches and at least they won’t have any home pitch-advantage.

The O.C. are 2-1-1 over the same stretch.  The competition has been soft, but it’s more winning than not.

RESULT:   O.C.   5-2        Aodhan Quinn with two for the home team

Image result for toddler soccer

 

Maybe not as soft as a toddler seemingly in a fat suit.

But soft.

  1. Real Esteli vs. Diriangen – Nicaragua Premier

While I don’t think CONCACAF ranks domestic leagues themselves, Noob did find a webpage related to both SBNation and perhaps the Philapdelphia Union (via thebrotherlygame.com) which does.  It uses historical international play results, much the same as other federations so.   Eggzalent.

So Nicaragua’s appears to be the #12 league in our world region.  While that’s not very strong compared to the Central American leagues, it bests all but a couple of the Caribbean ones.

These are the current #1 and #3 clubs in their young season.  Esteli’s position is particularly impressive since they’ve played 1-2 fewer matches than the other top teams.  They’re also the only undefeated team remaining.

Diriangen’s been getting featured in the Track recently based on a top-three finish last season.  They’re #B now, just a point off the pacesetters.

Goal differential:   Diriangen 9:7;  Real Estili 9:2.   Tale told.

RESULT:   Esteli   1-0

Thursday

coming soon!

Tuesday

  1. North Carolina Courage vs. Chicago Red Stars – National Women’s Soccer League Playoffs

After being postponed Tuesday because of Hurricane Florence, the Semifinal is back on.   The winner will get Portland, which beat visiting Seattle in the other one-off Semi.

Courage are the best women’s club team on the planet.  They destroyed the NWSL throughout the regular season.   There are a ton of names you could/should know.   But this is Noob, so we take smaller bites.  Lynn Williams, while not being the very biggest star, has been on a scoring streak.  Impress friends with her name.

Chicago have two things going for them.  Sam Kerr leads the league in scoring, has nabbed six goals in the last four matches.   The other is that this game will not be a true home one for NC.   It’s been moved to Portland.   (9:00 PM EST, ESPNEWS)

RESULT:   NC   2-0      On to the Final!

B.  Liverpool vs. Paris Saint-Germain – UEFA Champions League

It’s back!   And now it’s time for the “competition proper” to begin.  On and off in previous months, Noob’s featured games from the pre-Group Stage rounds.

Now we’re in it.  Eight Groups of four each playing a double-round robin, home-and-away series.  Top two finishers in each advance to the Knockout Round.  3rd-place finishers get dropped into advance rounds of the Europa League.

This is one of eight matches today, and it’s hard to call one more “important” than another.  But that’s Noob’s self-assigned task.  We lean England here, since the American soccer fan naturally does when it comes to European soccer.

These two should be the ones to come out of Group C.  Napoli is solid, here as last season’s Italian runners-up.  Red Star Belgrade out of Serbia is sneaky-good, but not that good.  Citing footballdatabase.com and the ELO formula usage there to rate and rank teams,

It’s a quirky call to handicap this one.  If you’re a gambler and can get PSG and a goal, take that.  But don’t bet the farm.  Or more than a chicken or three even.

Actually, if you’ve found a betting house that accepts rural property or domestic fowl as currencies, just leave the whole thing be.   (3:00 PM, TNT)

RESULT:   Liverpool   3-2      Liverpool blew a 2-0 lead before getting the winner at 90’+3

Image result for gambling for chickens

 

 

Gambling with chickens will not go your way, any which way you try.

  1. Atletico Tucuman vs. Gremio – Copa Libertadores

Quarterfinals time in South America’s version of Champions League.  Here, they play two-legged ties, home and away.   This is the first leg.

Tucuman are here by virtue of a runner-up finish in Argentina’s last FA Cup.  They’re only the 8th-best team in the country.   Gremio are the defending Copa champions, yet actually not an absolutely overwhelming favorite today.  They should get a draw today, advance on a 1-2 goal win on the return leg.   (8:45 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Gremio   0-2

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Saturday (6/2) – ConIFA World Cup is on! Plus MLS, FIFA friendlies

The FIFA World Cup begins in less than two weeks.  You’re here, you knew.

But there’s another soccer organization in the world called ConIFA.  They are the Confederation of Independent Football Associations.  Smaller, newer nations, stateless peoples, diaspora, underrepresented minorities… check out ConIFA.org for more specifics.

16 teams are competing in London.  In this opening stage, four groups of four teams each play each other in a round-robin.  Top two finishers move on to the Knockout Stage.  Each team has played one game already, and the third games will follow in just a day or two.  This event moves fast, probably for cost-reasons.

Do these matches necessarily fit into Noob’s ‘ten most important matches’ mantra?  Arguably at best.  But though Noob and Noobite we may be, this space has always also been devoted to exploring soccer worldwide.  These teams and the areas they come from are fascinating.

We start the Track there.

  1. Barawa FA vs. Cascadia – ConIFA World Cup

So where and what is Cascadia?  The team consists of players from Oregon, Washington, and British Columbia.  The players are largely U.S. tier-four players and some that play several levels down the soccer pyramid in England.   They are unranked with ConIFA, though members.

There exists a Cascadia Independence movement for the three to become their own country.  Two of the big reasons are bioregionalism and not feeling best served by eastern federal governments.

Barawa is a city in southern Somalia.  Barawa FA however, represents the Somali diaspora in England.  The organization has as part if its mission developing football in Barawa city.  Noob doesn’t have the impression there’s any active movement regarding the Somali city and independence.  This team also has many players in intermediate and lowers levels in England.

Bawara is 11th in the organization world rankings.  They won their first match 4-0.  Cascadia is not ranked, lost their first match 1-4.

RESULT:  Cascadia   1-2

Image result for Cascadia soccer

 

 

 

Check out those awesome Cascadia soccer Doug-socks!

 B.  Panjab vs. Western Armenia – ConIFA World Cup

Panjab is a team representing the Punjabi diaspora in England.  They won their first match 8-0 and are the #1-ranked team in ConIFA.

Western Armenia refers to a region of eastern Turkey.  The indigenous people there were largely moved or exterminated a century ago roughly.  Armenia currently claims no rights to the region, but there is a revolutionary party there that would.  Their 10th-ranked side earned a draw against the excellent United Koreans of Japan team in their first match.

RESULT:  WA   0-1

Image result for Panjab London

  1. Northern Cyprus vs. Tibet – ConIFA World Cup

Northern Cyprus is considered – by other than Turkey – to be a de facto and puppet state.  All other nations regard the nation of Cyprus to be the whole island.  The Turkish military protects the Northern area.  FIFA member nations are not allowed to play them.  They are 3rd-ranked, yet only managed a draw in their first match against unranked and late fill-in team Karpatalja.

Tibet, well, you probably know a fair bit about Tibet and China.  If not, do some reading from a more specifically knowledgeable source than this old hack blogger.  It is interesting to note that some of the players live in exile due to the political situation.  They lost their first match 0-3, are ranked #13.

RESULT:  NC   3-1

  1. Padania vs. Tuvalu – ConIFA World Cup

Padania is considered by those who recognize it as the Po Valley in Italy, or a region of northern and some of central Italy.  There is a political party (Lega Nord) that favors independence, but the sentiment doesn’t seem to run strongly with most of the populace.  Their representative football team is ranked 2nd, comprised largely of fourth-division Italian players and below.  They won their first match 6-1.

Tuvalu has tried to get into FIFA, but the primary issue seems to be the lack of a single regulation pitch that meets standards.  They are ranked 33rd in ConIFA, lost their first match 0-4.

RESULT:  Padania 8-0

Image result for padania map

  1. Ireland vs. USA – friendly

Neither is going to World Cup, but it’s another chance to see how the young players on the USMNT can do.  Ireland just got housed by France a couple days ago.  The two are ranked #34 and #21 by FIFA.

RESULT:  Ireland   2-1

  1. Dallas vs. LAFC – MLS

#B hosts #3 in the West.  Dallas is tied with Sporting Kansas City for the conference’s best defense, while expansion LAFC is tied with KC for the second-best offense.  No wonder KC is #1…   Dallas haven’t lost since late April, while LAFC hasn’t won since early May.  They racked up all those goals early in the season.

RESULT:  Dallas   2-1

Image result for Dallas funny

 

 

Ummmm…..

  1. NYCFC vs. Orlando City – MLS

The Eastern Conference is finally seeing some justice.  Noob and The Management-reviled Swamp City Orlando has lost three straight!  Choke on ‘em, mice-men.  Bad urban planning is never rewarded.  They’re still in the playoff picture at #5 for now.  Hopefully #3 NYCFC can stop their own lesser struggles with a resounding W today.   (7:30 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 10)

RESULT:   NYC   3-0

  1. Mexico vs. Scotland – friendly

FIFA #15 Mexico has stepped up its level of opponents the last two matches, and it hasn’t gone so well.  They drew against Wales and lost to Croatia.  Scotland is ranked just 34th in the world, should represent a chance for “El Tri” to get a win and some confidence heading into Russia.   (9:00 PM, FS1)

RESULT:  Mexico   1-0

Image result for Scottish hooligans funny

Relevant?  Not really.  Does Noob require relevance?  *bonnnnnggg*

  1. England vs. Nigeria – friendly

Many a pundit seem to think #13 England won’t even make it out of the World Cup group stage.  They can’t seem to score a lick, but their goal-defense is astounding.  They haven’t lost a match in their last seven.

Nigeria is WC-bound as well.  They’re ranked just 47th, have lost two of three as the tournament looms.  It appears they won’t have the offensive firepower to get out of the group stage.   (12:15 PM, Fox Deportes, Fox Soccer Plus)

RESULT:  England   2-1

  1. Johor Darul Ta’zim vs. Perak – Malaysia Super Liga

We conclude the Track with #1 vs. #B, as should be!  Does it matter that it’s from a league that’s not even quite in the top quarter of associations in Asia?  It does not.

JDT have opened up a seven-point lead in the table by virtue of an absolutely stifling defense.  They’ve allowed just five goals in a dozen games – twice as good as the next best.  Perak can put it in the net, but play only middling D.  3rd-place Pahang is better.  At home, JDT should take this by two goals.

RESULT:  Johor  2-0

Image result for Johor Bahru

 

 

So long from Johor Bahru!

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Saturday (5/19) – MLS and more FA Cup finals action!

The ten most important matches for us- thew newish American fans of the global game – to follow.  Noob’s mantra.

But share with your experienced friends!  Noob’s coverage of leagues the world over might interest even the most seasoned fans.  Let’s dig in, Noobites.

  1. Portland Timbers vs. LAFC – MLS

Expansion LAFC haven’t lost in six straight matches.  Portland have one four in a row.  Something’s got to give!

They shouldn’t have trouble getting up for a home match against the #3 team in their conference, but 5th-place Portland are coming off a match with regional rival Seattle Sounders.  Much will hinge on the goalkeeping, and Timbers’ Jeff Attinella hasn’t conceded one in the three matches he’s played.   (3:00 PM Eastern, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Portland   2-1     Timbers climb to 3rd (though league matches are still pending at time of this update)

Image result for Jeff Attinella funny

B.  Seattle Reign vs. Chicago Red Stars – NWSL

#B hosts #4 in America’s top women’s league.  Seattle have scored seven in their last two games.  Look for the Reign’s Megan Rapinoe to continue her solid striking.

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for animated letter b gif

 

 

Solid, striking Number B!

  1. Chelsea vs. Manchester United – English FA Cup

It’s the Final at Wembley!

Chelsea absolutely crapped the bed in their last league match, but presumably they can wake up with a trophy on the line.  And Manchester United only scored twice in their last three games.  Noob wouldn’t put money on this game even if sports gambling were already legal all across America.   (12:15 PM, Fox Deportes)

Noobstradamus Sees:   0-0, then Chelsea in PK’s!  They redeem themselves for a league 5th-place finish and missing out on the next Champions League.

RESULT:   Chelsea   0-1     So Chelsea win the league last year, the FA Cup this year, and word is they may well sack their manager.  Harsh.

  1. Bayern Munich vs. Eintracht Frankfurt – DFB Pokal (German FA Cup)

It’s the Final in Berlin!

Frankfurt faded down the stretch in the Bundesliga, finishing 8th.  Bayern did very Bayern-y things to everyone in winning the league title.  No reason to think they won’t crush today.  If Frankfurt keeps it within a goal, it will only be because Bayern has everyone fall back defensively after getting the lead.   (2:00 PM, ESPNEWS)

RESULT:   Frankfurt   1-3    Well, color Noob shocked!   Bayern dominated everywhere by the scoreboard.

And now Bayern’s manager retires and Frankfurt’s manager is his replacement.  Wild schtuff.

Image result for frankfurt funny

 

The Frankfurt Hotel.

Your team has whatever beating it takes today coming.

  1. Celtic vs. Motherwell – Scotland FA Cup

Staying in the British Isles, it’s another Final!   While not on their actual home pitch, this one is held in Glasgow, Celtic’s home city.  However rough a time Frankfurt will have above, double it for Motherwell.  Celtic won the league again, while “The Steelmen” didn’t even crack the top half of the table.   (10:00 AM, GOL TV)

Noobstradamus Sees:   Celtic ‘however many they want’ – 0

RESULT:   Celtic   2-0

  1. Lyon vs. Nice – Ligue 1

These days, France only get three teams into Champions League, down from the max of four.  That’s bad news for either Lyon or Marseille.  #3 Lyon leads Marseille by just a point in the table.  They have the tougher matchup, hosting #6 Nice, who are fighting for a Europa League berth.  Marseille host #13 Amiens.

Lyon has oodles more offensive firepower than Nice, but all they need is a draw.  Look for this to go very low-scoring, probably that draw.   (3:00 PM, TV5MONDE)

RESULT:   Lyon   3-2    And so they hold off Marseille for 3rd place and the last Champions League berth.

Image result for oodle

 

 

Disallowed!

  1. Goztepe vs. Galatasaray – Turkey Super Lig

Turkey’s top-flight title race remained as good as any in Europe, right through today!

Galatasaray lead two clubs by just three points.  More, they are currently only tied in tie-breaking goal differential with one of them (Fenerbahce).  So they could win today and still not finish 1st.  More, they’re not even guaranteed a top-two finish and CL slot.

Galatasaray also have the toughest matchup today of all contenders.  Their opponent is higher in the table than their rivals’ opponents today, and they’re on the road to boot.   (12:00 PM, beIN Sports)

Noobstradamus Sees:   A 3-1 win.  Goztepe is barely average, despite they’re reasonably good spot in the standings.

RESULT:   Galatasaray   0-1     All four top teams won on this, the last day of league play.  Congrats to the G’men- champions!  Fenerbahce claim Turkey’s second and final CL berth with a come-from-behind win as well today.

  1. Rijeka vs. Hajduk Split – Croatia First League

#B Rijeka could tie #1 Dinamo Zagreb on points in the table on today, the last day of league play.  But the tiebreaker is already won by D.Z. (and congrats to the champs!)  They lead #3 Split by just a point.  They’re both headed to Europa League, but whoever finishes higher will get to enter that competition one qualifying round further in.

RESULT:   Rijeka   3-1

Image result for rijeka funny

 

Come to Rijeka for the football.

Stay for a pie at Gvardijan Pizzeria.

  1. Maribor vs. Olimpija Ljubljana – Slovenia Prva Liga

Slovenia’s first tier might not be quite in the top half of UEFA leagues, but #1 vs. #B will never fail to win Noob over!  Three league matches to go, and Maribor lead O.L. by just a point.  And only one can go to Champions League.

Noobstradamus Sees:  …that while Ljub may not have lost a match since last December, they haven’t won that many, either.  Maribor have been doing almost nothing but winning for months.  Hosts win 2-1 today.

RESULT:   Ljub   3-1      We have a new #1 in Slovenia!   Come-from-behind win with the decisive goal scored at 90′.

  1. Dynamo Kyiv vs. Shakhtar Donetsk – Ukraine Premier

Congratulations to league champions Shakhtar Donetsk!  There will be nothing but pride on the line today, but Noob never ignores a #1 vs. #B matchup.  Kyiv qualify for Europa League for their season’s efforts.

RESULT:   D.K.   2-1

Image result for Kiev funny

 

 

So long from Kyiv!

(Isn’t the world just weird and magical?)

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches (4/24-26) – bring us Champions Leagueness!

Time for Midweek Madness!   OK, Noob doesn’t really think there’s any more madness Tuesday-Thursday than any other time.  But chicks dig alliteration.  I’m sure of it.

Tuesday, 4/24

  1. Liverpool vs. AS Roma – UEFA Champions League

The Semifinals are here!  These two both surprised world soccer giants last round to advance.  This is the first match of a two-legged tie.

Noobites, you can of course find all manner of highly-detailed previews on many sites.  Our purpose here is fun, learning/increased awareness, and packaged in zaniness many times.  But Noob will offer up one particular angle.

Footballdatabase.com appears to use the chess world’s ELO formula -or a modified version of it- to rate clubs.  I find it very accurate.  Today, these two rate as 1966 and 1872, respectively.  Think of, oh, borderline Grandmaster vs. very solid Expert.

So, based on evidence I’ve casually tracked since starting this site, Noob’s calling Liverpool not quite a 1.5 goal favorite today.  Take it to the bank!  (Of course, I don’t think soccer betting is run with point spreads, so maybe just stick it in an old mattress.)   (2:45 PM Eastern, FS 1)

RESULT:   Liverpool   5-2

Image result for elo rating formula

B.  Penn FC vs. Nashville FC – USL

Penn FC were Harrisburg City Islanders previously. This is not a new club, just a rebranding.  Nashville are an expansion club.

Penn did not win any of their first matches. Nashville is a .500 club so far, but Noob thinks they’ve been either lucky or gritty so far.   Penn gets their first W today.

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for brand B

 

 

Gotta be honest, Number B.  Not the most creative rebranding there.

 

 

 

Deeper Dive:  any of the three Copa Libertadores matches, Bulgarian FA Cup semifinal, China FA Cup matches, or either League of Ireland (not FA) Cup match.

Wednesday, 4/25

  1. Guadalajara vs. Toronto FC – CONCACAF Champions League

The Final!  Guadalajara took the first league in Canadia 1-2.  Toronto can’t just win 0-1 today in order to tie things up.  They’d lose on the away-goals tiebreaker.

Toronto have had a miserable start to their MLS season.  They’re out of gas.  The Guad Squad is going to get to put on a show.  Rather than just sit on the ball and milk their lead, this feels to Noob like a 3-0 rout.   (9:30 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Toronto 1-2 in regulation      But Guad wins the title 4-2 in pk’s.   Heartbreak for Toronto.  Guad should’ve been down a man to a red card much of the second half when one of their players punched a Toronto player right in the stomach, 10′ from a ref with a clear view.  Not even a foul called.

  1. Bayern Munich vs. Real Madrid – UEFA Champions League

Two +2000 Grandmaster clubs.  Noob might’ve thought the winner will be a heavy favorite to take the title.  But Bayern didn’t completely dominate a Sevilla team that they should’ve in the Quarters.  And Real nearly blew a big lead to Juventus.

Bayern have been scoring – at least in league play – like gangbusters.  Noob’s calling this one as 3-1 for the home side, as they can control the pace at home.   (2:45 PM, FS1, ESPN Deportes)

RESULT:   Real   1-2

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Grandmaster Flash carried an ELO rating of a billion.

  1. Boca Juniors vs. Palmeiras – Copa Libertadores

South America’s version of Champions League continues its group stage.  The top two finishers from each Group of four will advance.

Boca are Argentina’s #1-ranked entry into this event.  Palmeiras are the #3 from Brazil.  Yet Palmeiras are the ones leading this Group, and by two over their hosts today.  They’d take a draw in a heartbeat.

Boca will look to push and play for the win, get more distance in the table over Atletico Junior of Colombia.   (8:45 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Palmeiras   0-2

  1. FC Tokyo vs. Sanfrecce Hiroshima – J1 League

The league season is almost ten games in, yet Noob wonders if this is the first Track-worthy match we’ve seen from Japan.

Hiroshima finished near the bottom of the table last year.  Now?  They’ve not lost once. FC Tokyo finished low enough last year that Noob thought perhaps they’d just been promoted from J2.  Even at #B, they trail FCT by nine in the table.

RESULT:   Tokyo   3-1

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Hiroshima’s mascots striking poses

  1. Zlin vs. Jablonec – Czech FA Cup

There are many FA Cups matches being played around Europe today.  The Czech Cup semifinal today pits two teams from the #13 league in Europe, the highest ranking represented this week.

Zlin are in 9th in the league this year.  Given their awful GD, Noob’s not sure how they’ve managed even that.  They’ll get all they can handle from their 6th-place guests.

Aaaand then the winner will get smooshed by Slavia Prague in the Final.    And then they’ll pee their pants, the end.

RESULT:   Jablonec   0-1

Deeper Dive:  #3 Ranheim vs. #1 Brann, Norway Eliteserien; #3 Maritzburg United vs. #1 Mamelodi Sundowns, South Africa Premier; #2 Suwon Bluewings vs. #3 Gyeongnam FC, South Korea K1 League; #4 Prachuap vs. #3 Chiangrai United, Thai 1 League; any China FA Cup matches, Brazil FA Cup Round of 16 matches, or FA Cup semis from Bulgaria, Cyprus, or Denmark

Thursday, 4/26

  1. Arsenal vs. Atletico Madrid – Europa League

UEFA’s secondary continental tournament has reached its Semifinals.  This is the first match of a two-legged tie.

Arsenal better hope they get some sort of lift perhaps trying to win this thing as a tribute to now-departing manager Arsene Wenger, because Atletico is probably by far the strongest team remaining.  He’d been with the club over 20 years, but either gracefully stepped aside or was forced out less than a week ago.   (3:05 PM, FS1, ESPN Deportes)

RESULT:   1-1     Atletico had a player and their manager kicked out 10 minutes into the match.  Arsenal still couldn’t take care of business.

Image result for arsene wenger sad face

  1. Lillestrom vs. Sarpsborg – Norway Super Cup

Super Cups usually happen right as the league season is beginning, pitting last year’s FA Cup champs against the defending league champs.  This one was delayed because of wintry conditions.  Shock me.

Lillestrom only finished 12th in league last year.  They qualified for this by beating Sarpsborg in the FA Cup final.  Sarpsurg has started a little slowly this season, but it’s very early.  Lillestrom – who host today – aren’t doing any better than in 2017.

RESULT:   Sarpsborg   0-1     Congrats!

  1. Al Ahly vs. El Zamalek – Egypt Premier

Noob ends the midweek Track honoring the champions of Africa’s #1 league.  With two matches to go, Al Ahly lead the next team up by a mind-boggling 21 points in the table.

Zamalek are in 3rd.  This is their final league match.  They can’t catch #B Ismaily for a Champions League berth, but they could themselves be passed by #4 Al Masry.  3rd place gets into the Confederations Cup, Africa’s version of Europa League.

RESULT:   Zamalek   1-2

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OK, that’s mind-boggling

 

 

Deeper Dive:  any of the Copa Libertadores matches; Denmark’s FA Cup semifinal; #B Partizan vs. #4 Radnicki, Serbia Superliga, #3 Hapoel Katamon Jerusalem vs. #1 Hapoel Tel Aviv, Israel Leumit Liga (second-tier)

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Saturday (4/21) – MLS, UEFA leagues, bad Zlatan-wear

The ten most important matches for us, the newish American fans.  Things go from important to absolutely paramount in Europe when the seasons are hitting their climaxes.

Before we get to those – ‘Muricuh!

  1. L.A. Galaxy vs. Atlanta United – MLS

What a different a year can make!   The talk if the league is the Galaxy’s signing of international megastar striker Zlatan Ibrahimovich, but it’s actually their defense that has that #B in the West.

Atlanta United will test that defense.  They’re #3 in the tougher Eastern Conference.  The game kicks off 9:00 PM Eastern on NBA League Pass 6.

RESULT:   ATL   0-2

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Now that he’s in L.A., I guess he can stop wearing crazy lady’s gift sweater.

B.  Columbus Crew vs. New England Revolution – MLS

Your Major League Soccer undercard pits the #4 team in the East against #3.  The Revs have improved their defense after missing the playoffs last season.  They’d been on quite a roll until getting skunked at home by Dallas.

Columbus have been skunkier though, not scoring in consecutive matches and losing three straight.  But they’ve been creating chances, getting a little unlikely hitting wood repeatedly.  Noob strongly feels the Crew will right their ship today.   (7:30 PM, NBA League Pass 7)

RESULT:   2-2

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Number B, about to learn a hard lesson about skunkiness.

  1. North Carolina Courage vs. Utah Royals – NWSL

The good news for expansion Utah – they’ve only allowed two goals in three matches.  The bad news – they’ve only scored once.  The worse news – they travel to defending regular season champions Courage today.   (3:30 PM, Lifetime)

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Necaxa vs. UANL Tigres – Liga MX

Tigres are tied for 3rd with just three Clausura (second half-season) matches to go, but they have yet to secure a top-eight, postseason Liguilla spot.  Tigres are part of a three-way tie for 9th place, just a point shy of 8th.

Neither team gives up many goals.  If you like defense, this one is available to ogle at 10:00 PM on ESPN Deportes.

RESULT:   1-1

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The Mexican Hornet Defense.

Really, it’s called that.

  1. Manchester United vs. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur – FA Cup

Noob-reviled, traitorously-named Hotspur face off against Man Utd in the Semifunal, at Wembley (neutral). Man U’s  slight edge on defense  should make them a winner today.  (12:15 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Man U   2-1

  1. Barcelona vs. Sevilla – Copa del Rey

It’s the Final!  Sevilla have had a tremendous run in Spain’s FA Cup, especially given that they’re only in 7th in La Liga.  That run ends today in Madrid, and won’t end well for them.  Barcelona have yet to lose a league match all year.  Barca by two feels right.   (3:30 PM, ESPNEWS)

RESULT:   Barca   5-0

Image result for copa del rey trophy 2018

  1. RB Leipzig vs. 1899 Hoffenheim – Bundesliga

With four matches to go, that is also the number of points by which Leipzig trail 4th place Borussia Dortmund for the league’s last Champions League invite.  Hoffenheim (and Frankfurt) in turn only trail Leipzig by a point.

Leipzig are hardly falling apart, but Hoffenheim are peaking at the perfect time.  They’ve not lost in seven straight matches.  If they can push the ball today, a pivotal road win should be in their grasp.   (9:30 AM, Fox Soccer Plus)

RESULT:   Hoffenheim   2-5     Hoffenheim move into 5th

  1. SPAL 2013 vs. AS Roma – Serie A

Roma, Lazio, and Inter – one’s not going to Champions League.  The race for the last two of the four CL slot Italy is tight and then some.  Roma and Lazio are tied, with Inter lurking just a point behind.

SPAL are only one slot above the Relegation Zone, so they are not without a reason to fight.  They can’t score in general, and they’re unlikely to against defensive juggernaut Roma.   (9:00 AM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:  Roma 0-3

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Meaning?  No clue.

Terrified?  You betcha.

  1. Shakhtar Donetsk vs. Vorskla – Ukraine Premier

This the #8 league in Europe, a real rising power, getting two CL berths this year.  They’ve replaced Poland as Noob’s under-the-radar league to watch.

Shakhtar are the goal-scoring giant here.  Vorskla are in 3rd, and have overachieved in getting there.  They won’t score today, get run roughshod over.

RESULT:   S.D.   4-2

  1. Phoenix Rising vs. Swope Park Rangers – USL

Noob loves him some second-tier footyball.  On the weekend, though, usually their matches give way to top-flight leagues.  I’d scouted a sweet UAE match with which to finish today’s Track, but Al Nasr has since fallen out of the top quarter of their league table.  Denied!

These both made the playoffs last year.  Just a handful of games into this season, they’re in position again.  That said, Rangers appear to have fallen off defensively.  A lot.  Noobstradamus says Phoenix’s offensive will finally break out, net them a 3-1 win today.

RESULT:   2-2

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Phoenix Rising are about to get hot.  But it’ll be a dry heat.

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Thursday, 4/5 – plus Noob battles Dan the Intern-o Inferno

Plenty of high-quality footyball in today’s ten most important games for the newish American soccer fan to follow.

Just be warned, things might get ugly here with me and the Intern.   He’s a nefarious ne’er-do-well, and Noob should slash his non-existent pay yet again.

  1. U.S.A. vs. Mexico – international women’s friendly

Women’s World Cup isn’t until next year, but these two are already qualified.  They are ranked #1 and #25 respectively.  It shouldn’t be close, but it’s hard to know how much the game will be used by each team to test players who may or may not make the WC rosters.  (7:00 PM Eastern, FS1)

RESULT:   USA   4-1

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Muricuh!

B.  Arsenal vs. CSKA Moscow – Europa League

And then there were eight.  Europe’s almost-but-not Champions League has reached the first leg of its Quarterfinals.   Some folks diss this event, but remember:  the winner gets an automatic invite to Champions League next year, no matter how they do in their league season.

Russia’s league actually ranks 6th in Europe.  But England is England.  Arsenal by a goal feels right.  (3:05 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   Arsenal   4-1

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Number B?  Um, Noob’s having trouble as it is getting folks on board with you replacing Number Two.

Going Russian for any length of time isn’t going to help.

  1. Red Bull Leipzig vs. Marseille – Europa League

These two are about as even as it gets, on paper.  Wish this one were going to be on teevee, could easily be the best match of the day.  But Fox is opting for Atletico Madrid and Sporting Lisbon on FS2.  Portugal sucks, that match won’t be close.  Fools!

RESULT:   Leipzig   1-0

  1. Bolivar vs. Atletico National – Copa Libertadores

Group Stage continues in South America’s version of Champions league.  Top two from each pod of four will advance to the Knockout Stage.

Colombia’s football is much stronger than Bolivia’s, and this match reflects that.  Still, Bolivar as host makes this about an even match.  Atletico have won both their Group matches, while Bolivar have drawn in theirs.  (8:30 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Bolivar   1-0

Image result for copa libertadores funnyYep, that’s a straight up Copa Libertadores punch.

And in South American football, that’s practically just flirting.

  1. Estudiantes vs. Santos – Copa Libertadores

Argentinian and Brazilian powers collide… and everyone gets yellow cards.  Klutzes.

RESULT:   Santos   0-1

  1. Switzerland vs. Scotland – UEFA women’s World Cup qualification

Seven Groups of five here.  The winners all qualify for World Cup.  The four best runners up will meet in a playoff.

Switzerland haven’t mathematically gotten in yet, but they’re running away with the Group.  Scotland are one of two teams next up at six points each in the table.  Mighty offense versus super defense.  FIFA ranks them #8 and #32, respectively.

RESULT:   Switzerland   1-0

Image result for switzerland scotland funny map

Gah!!

Thanks for the nightmares, Dan the Intern-o Inferno.

  1. Austria vs. Serbia – UEFA women’s World Cup qualification

Spain are going to win this group, so the battle is for the second slot and hoping for enough points to make the aforementioned Playoff.  Serbia have little hope, but Austria are in 3rd and can at least see some daylight.  They are FIFA-ranked #21 and #43.

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Carabobo vs. Caracas – Venezuela Premier

#1 hosts #3 in one of South America’s lesser leagues.  They will get the minimum four berths into next year’s Copa Libertadores.  Carabobo play a wide open style, so look for lots o’ goals here.

RESULT:   0-0   or not…

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Smart move, Dan the Intern-o Inferno.

Noob’s coming for ya’!!

  1. SonderskyjE vs. Brondby – Denmark FA Cup

This is a Quarterfinal knockout match, pitting the 8th and 1st-place league teams against one another.  Brondby are probably considered a small favorite, even on the road.  Blah blah blahWHAT is up with that capital E on the end of that club name?!  Interrobang!   Aggressive need for knowledge!

RESULT:   Brondby   0-1   AET

  1. Suduva vs. Atlantas Klaipeda – Lithuania A Lyga

OK, deep breath after feature match #9.   We finish the Track with a league just a few games into its season.  That said, these clubs are already in familiar positions, 1st and 3rd place.  This is the 43rd-ranked league in Europe.

RESULT:   Suduva   2-1

Image result for workplace peace

 

 

 

Suggested reading for Noob, Dan-o?

Noob’s going with Art of War.

’10 to Track’ soccer matches Weekend Edition! Premier, MLS, all the best – plus new league coverage announcement

Hitting the hinterlands of world footyball yesterday was a dream, as always.  But weekends are where T2T gets (comparatively) serious.

Don’t miss the Sunday new league coverage announcement.  It’s gonna be!– well, it’s gonna be content.

Saturday, 3/31

  1. Chicago Fire vs. Portland Timbers – MLS

Both clubs have lost both their games this early season.  Last year, they finished 3rd and 6th in the Western Conference.  (Chicago has been moved into the East now.)  Both teams struggled on defense, at least when compared to other playoff teams.  (6:00 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 6).

RESULT:   2-2

 

Portland- Basilisk’s iconic fried chicken sammich.  

Nice work!  Chicago deep dish still wins.

B.  Chicago Red Stars vs. Portland Thorns – NWSL

Double-header in Bridgeview, IL!   At least Noob assumes both are hosting on their same home pitch.  The 8:15 PM start time for this match suggests it.  These two finished in 4th and 2nd, respectively, last year.

RESULT:   Portland   2-3

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Can’t hedge!   You’re either into boring old Number Two or down with Number B.

  1. Paris Saint-Germain vs. AS Monaco – Coupe de la League

The Final!   This is not the FA Cup, but rather a tournament open to pro clubs in just the top three divisions in France.  Given that PSG has demolished all of Ligue 1 this year, Noob wonders if league #B Monaco will be revved up to snatch some hardware away from PSG.

RESULT:   PSG   3-0

  1. Bayern Munich vs. Borussia Dortmund – Bundesliga

1st place is out of reach for 3rd-place Dortmund, so maintaining their top-four place in the table and getting a Champions League invite is the goal.  They’d love even a draw against champ-in-waiting Bayern.  (12:30 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Bayern   6-0     not a typo.   this was a terrible, awesome rout

Image result for borussia dortmund funny

 

Those masks won’t help you hide from Bayern.   

BVB on your shirts, fellas.

  1. Juventus vs. AC Milan – Serie A

Milan is five points out of 4th place and the last Champions League berth.  1st-place Juventus has only lost twice all year, yet only lead Napoli by two points.

This is a bad matchup for Milan, as they have trouble scoring and Juve has the league’s best defense.  This may well be the world’s most important match this weekend.  (2:45 PM, Rai Italia)

RESULT:   Juve    3-1

  1. Sevilla vs. Barcelona – La Liga

Sevilla does not have a realistic shot of cracking the top four, but they are in line for a Europa League invite, being in 6th place.  7th will get in as well this year, but even that is not guaranteed for Sevilla.  Lots of teams are in the hunt.  Barcelona are undefeated, the best team in the world.  (2:45 PM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:   2-2

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6th place could win this dartboard and pool table.  And longer pool table?…

  1. Ljubljana vs. Maribor – Slovenia Prva Liga

[loo-blee-ah-nuh] have almost wrapped up the league title.  It’s hard to say historic powerhouse #B Maribor is ever quite completely out of it, but they are ten points back.  This league is only the 30th-strongest in Europa, but Noob is always down for matchups from the very top of tables.

RESULT:   1-1

Sunday, 4/1

**Soon, Noob’s exclusive coverage of the Isle of Sodor Premier League will begin!   Sudric football has been loosely organized at best.  Until now, with the formation of their FA.**

The Island of Sodor with it's hypothetical location in the UK (From Thomas the Tank Engine/Thomas and Friends) [OS] [5526x3175]

  1. Chelsea vs. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur – English Premier

The only important drama left in Premier’s top of the table is right here.  5th place hosts 4th, a battle for the league’s final Champions League spot next year.   With just eight matches to go, it’s not quite a must-win for Chelsea at five points back.  But they sure as shite can’t lose.

So, c’mon, Chelsea.  Don’t let the traitorously-named Hotspur get the best of you.  Ramp up the so-so offense a bit and take these ne’er-do-wells down!  (11:00 AM, NBCSN)

RESULT:   Hotspur   1-3

  1. UNAM Pumas vs. Necaxa – Liga MX

9th vs. 10th doesn’t look intriguing at a glance.  But remember:  the top eight clubs make the Liguilla, the postseason league tournament.

Noobstrdamus has access to the soccer alternate planes, has learned Necaxa will score the road upset today.  It couldn’t be that I read Pumas can’t play D at all.   It’s the first thing.  *nod*

RESULT:   1-1    Prognostication fail.  In fact, Pumas played most of the second half a man down.

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I once tamed a wild puma with just my headband.

  1. Boca Juniors vs. Talleres – Argentina Premier

Finishing off the Track in style, as Noob is wont to do!   #1 hosts #B in Argentina’s astounding 28-club deep league.  Best offense versus best defense.   Pirate yourself an interwebs stream of this one somewhere.

RESULT:   Boca Juniors   2-1      Juniors get the go-ahead goal at 90′, open up a huge -9- point lead in the table.

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See?  It’s a good idea.