Tag: Isle of Sodor

’10 to Track’ Sunday (11/18) soccer matches – UEFA Nations League leads us once again

European International break doesn’t stop the ten most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game!   Can’t even slow this train down.

1. England vs. Croatia – UEFA Nations League

Here’s the link to my brief Explainer on what this event is:

http://www.soccernoob.com/2018/01/01/uefa-nations-league-explainer/

This is the last match to be played in this League A group of three. Spain is done, two points up on both these teams. So if either wins, that team goes to the Playoffs. If the match ends in a draw, Spain advances.

FIFA-ranked #5 England surely had no trouble with the USMNT in their recent friendly. They haven’t lost in their last four matches overall, between this event and friendlies. And the offense has picked up, with six goals in their last two matches.

#4 Croatia will be a stern test. They struggled after losing to France in the World Cup final. But a friendly win over Jordan and 3-2 win over Spain in this tournament seem to indicate they’re back in form.

Key players to watch today will be Raheem Sterling for England (two goals in the Spain match) and Tin Jedvaj for Croatia (two goals in their Spain match).   (9:00 AM EST, ESPN2)

B. Switzerland vs. Belgium – UEFA Nations League

This is another League A match. Different Group, of course. #1-ranked Belgium – who haven’t lost in six straight – lead the Swiss by three heading into this last match. But they’re tied on goal differential, so win of any margin for #8-Switzerland puts them in the Playoffs on the GD tiebreaker.

While it can be easy to overvalue friendlies, a home 0-1 loss to Qatar in their last outing isn’t promising for Switzerland. They haven’t beaten anyone but Group-last place Iceland (twice) since June.   (2:45 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Switzerland 5-2         Playoff time for the Swiss

Image result for icelandic letter B

buRES

 

Two letter A’s in the Icelandic alphabet.  Fine.

But there’s only one Number B.

3. Guinea vs. Ivory Coast – Africa Cup of Nations qualification

The ACN is next year, Africa’s top tournament for men’s national teams. Groups of four are competing in this current event, with the top two finishers in each getting in.

Two matches to go in Group H. Guinea lead Ivory Coast by three in the table. Between the two of them, they haven’t lost in ten matches overall. They’re ranked #65 and #64 in the world, respectively.   (12:00 PM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:   1-1

4. Paris Saint-Germain vs. Lyon – France Division 1

This is the French women’s top flite. Lyon is the major power in all Europe, has been for years. They’re undefeated again, have outscored opponents 37-1.

Today represents their toughest test of the year. PSG are also undefeated, though someone got a draw on them. Their GD is 24-3. Noob thinks they can keep this within a goal, but no better.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for angry French women

 

Never doubt that the women of France aren’t tough tough tough.

5. SS Jeanne d’Arc vs. Besancon Football – Coupe de France

Like yesterday, we’re catching another early (7th-) round match of the French FA Cup in order to spy on a CONCACAF team.

Noob’s not sure how Reunion qualifies its two teams into this event. JdA only finished 5th in last year’s Reunion Premier. Neither did they win the territory’s own Cup tournament. They’re #B in this year’s league season, which is nearly done. They still don’t score much, but the defense has been much improved.

Besancon play in Championnat National 3, France’s fifth-tier league. This league has many regional divisions (groups). They play in Bourgogne-Franche-Comté (Group E). They’re in 5th place in their league season. They don’t score much, either. Noob’s not got the experience to handicap a match like this, but doens’t look like it’s likely to be a high-scoring affair.

RESULT:   Besancon   0-1  AET

6. Tauro vs. Arabe Unido – Panama National League

They’ve reached the Apertura (first half-season) postseason Semifinals here. This is the first match of a two-legged tie to see which will play for the title. Tauro are the #3 seed, play much more offensively than anyone else in that league. Arabe Unido won several close matches to get the #B seed. If Tauro score early in this, Noob predicts a rout will ensue.

RESULT:   Tauro   2-0

Image result for tauro fc

 

 

Noob is not down with the bull half-face thing.

That feels like nightmare-fodder.

7. Nicaragua vs. Haiti – CONCACAF Nations League qualification

Six of CONCACAF’s best men’s national teams are not having to participate in this event. They will be placed in League A of the inaugural Nations League next year. All the other member nations are battling for placement in the various League levels, just like UEFA’s NL set-up. The top ten finishers in this event will also qualify for the Gold Cup, the federation’s biennial championship.

Since each team plays just four games, there’s a lot of room for volatility. And we’re getting it. Haiti are ranked just #102 in the world, yet are in 1st in this event with just this last match to go. They’ve outscored opponents 17-1.

Nicaragua are ranked even lower (#127), but also vying for a Gold Cup slot. They’re in 9th. They likely need a win to maintain their GC invitation, though a draw today doesn’t leave them out automatically. They only score half again as much as Haiti have been, are just an even match on their own pitch today.

RESULT:   Haiti   0-2

8. Brendam United vs. Brendam Harbor – Isle of Sodor Premier League

Noob’s exclusive coverage of the Isle’s inaugural FA league continues! I haven’t been able to yet give the IoSPL the attention I intended to, especially given how closely I documented the first-ever IoS FA Cup here over the summer. I’ve been hopping the pond quite a bit, soccer and other obligations keeping me stateside oft times.

Suffice it to say for now that these are historically two of the best teams on Sodor. Of course, that “history” is tons of friendlies and loose, sporadic league-like organizations that have come and gone over many years here. Now that they’re organizing their football on this national scale, it’s hard to know how much water past results hold.

Also, Harbor won the FA Cup. And on defense, a soccer virtue not typically held in particular esteem on the Isle. Shockingly, B-Utd didn’t even make it out of the Group Stage, finishing third there. Just couldn’t find the offense (four goals in three matches).

RESULT:   Brendam Utd   10-3         As often happens on Sodor, once a team is 2-3 goals late,  what little defense might’ve been happening evaporates.

Image result for what happened?

 

I don’t know.  The font just went weird.    

I blame having switched from MS Word to OpenOffice.

9. Tahiti vs. New Caledonia – Women’s World Cup qualification

Eight teams from the OFC are vying for one spot in World Cup next year. They’ve been divided into two Groups, with the top two finishers in each advancing to a Knockout Round.

This is the first match for both teams. They’re ranked #157 and #155 in the world. This makes them the fourth and third-best teams in this federation.

RESULT:    N.C.   2-4

10. Vitoria Setubal vs. Tondela – Portugal League Cup

The Taca de Liga has just reached its Group Stage, where 16 teams remain. They’ve been divided into Groups of four. Only the winners of each will advance to the Knockout Round.

This is not the country’s FA Cup, but rather a secondary Cup tournament contested by only clubs from the top two leagues. V.S. is a midtable Primeira Liga team, while Tondela is a fair bit worse. The point here isn’t so much this particular match so much as to just introduce Noobites to the tournament period.

RESULT:   Tondela   1-2

Image result for Setubal funny

 

So long from Setubal!

Come for the soccer, stay for the boutique apartments.

’10 to Track’ Sunday (11/11) soccer matches – MLS playoffs lead the way

Don’t forget to check back on any Track’s matches later for results!

Also, the newest of Noobites may always check the Vocab page to the right on the main page.

  1. New York Red Bulls vs. Columbus Crew – Major League Soccer

After leading the field most of the regular season, Atlanta United slipped late and lost the Supporters Shield to NYRB.  That means Red Bulls had the most points in the standings of any team in the league.  And in most leagues in the world, that club would be the champions for the season.

But in Amuricuh, we do Playoffs!  They’ve reached the Conference Semifinals, the second round.  Here (and next round), the opponents face off in two-legged, home and away ties.  The East’s #5 seed, Columbus, won their home match 1-0.

Red Bulls scored nearly half again as much than the Crew throughout the season.  It’s hard to imagine them being held done a second match in a row, especially in the Big Apple.

New York’s last seven goals have all been scored by different players.  Noob thinks early-season leader Brandon Wright-Phillips will reemerge.  But all the momentum belongs to the visitors.  Columbus haven’t lost to Red Bulls in their last four matches.   (7:30 PM EST, FS1)

RESULT:   NYRB   3-0      On to the Conference Finals for Red Bulls!   Daniel Royer with two goals and an assist.

B.  Manchester City vs. Manchester United – English Premier League

Derby time!

After a dreadful start to the season, Man Utd are perhaps finally snapping out of their funk.  They’ve climbed into 8th place, won three matches in a row across all competitions, including a massive Champions League victory over Juventus.  All have been 2-1 or 1-2 wins.

Meanwhile, Man City just jeeps trucking along, undefeated in league.   Over the course of their six-match win streak, they’ve outscored opponents by a staggering 23-1 margin.  It’s hard to believe they only lead the next three clubs by two points each in the table.   (11:30 AM, NBCSN)

RESULT:   Man City   3-1       Bernado Silva with a goal and an assist

Image result for alphabet race

 

 

 

Now THAT’S a derby.

Number B, victor!

  1. Santos vs. CF America – Liga MX

With two matches to go in the Apertura (first half-season), these two have already guaranteed themselves top half-finishes.  That means they’ll play in the Liguilla (postseason tournament) no matter what.

But seeding matters a lot.  They trail #1 Cruz Azul by five and four points in the table, respectively.  In all likelihood, they’re fighting for the runners-up position.

CF America’s defense is the tale today.  They’ve ratcheted that up a notch their last three matches, allowing just one goal over that span.  They’re a regular league powerhouse.  Noob thinks they get the road upset today and will win the Liguilla no matter what seed they go in with.   (7:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   1-1

  1. AC Milan vs. Juventus – Serie A

Remember that Champions League loss Juventus took to Manchester City?  Well, no one’s managed that in Serie A all season.  They’re second-best in Italy on both sides of the ball, three points up on Napoli, and likely to win on the road today.

Milan are tied for 5th and just don’t have the backline to withstand Cristiano Ronaldo & Co.   (2:30 PM, Rai Italia)

RESULT:   Juve   0-2

Image result for cristiano ronaldo funny

 

 

Artist thought Ronaldo had taken one too many headers.

  1. Sevilla vs. Espanyol – La Liga

Espanyol are the city of Barcelona’s “other team”.  Barcelona-the club are still #1 in the league, but their little sisters are on the rise!

Last year they finished just 11th, but now they sit in 3rd place.  Their success comes on defense, though they’re not completely deficient when it comes of scoring.  That’s where they look a little stronger this year.

Sevilla are just one notch back in the table.  They’re high-end scoring comes at the expense of giving up too many goals to perhaps compete with Barcelona for the title.  At home, however, they’re not likely to have trouble with upstarts Espanyol.  It’s a bad matchup for today’s guests.   (12:30 PM, beIN Sports en Español)

RESULT:   Sevilla   2-1      Ever Banega with two assits

  1. Vicarstown vs. Crovan’s Gate – Isle of Sodor Premier

Crovan’s Gate made the Semifinals of the first-ever IoS FA Cup this summer.  As the three Divisions were being planned for this inaugural PL season, The Gate were slated for the second tier.  More, it was thought they wouldn’t even be in the top half of clubs there!  But play on the Isle, historically, has been loosely organized at best.

The new FA knew it might be tough to really gauge relative club strengths, regardless of town or village sizes.  To their credit, they decided to place all the Quarterfinalists in Premier level to start out.

In typical Sudric fashion, neither team plays a ton of D.    Bigger Vicarstown comes in the favorites today.   But there’s a reason British betting houses haven’t started offering lines on Sodor matches.  There’s just no league history and performance for them (or us) to go off of.

RESULT:   4-4        

 

  1. Arsenal vs. Moulien – Guadeloupe Division d’Honneur

Noob’s quest to get to know all our CONCACAF neighbors a little better rolls on!  The “other Arsenal” are #1, Moulien #B.  Amical Club are just behind them and all three are undefeated after six league matches.   It’s too early to know much, but worth pointing out that Arsenal have only beaten Moulien once in their last six matches.

The top two finishers will qualify for the Caribbean Club Championships.  That, in turn, is a qualifying event for CONCACAF Champions League.

  1. Nacional vs. Peñarol – Uruguay Premier

The Final!

Uruguay’s season is divided into two main stages, just like much of Latin America.  These two each won one of those.  They won 26 matches each, with Peñarol scoring all of one more point on the whole year.  Both teams call Montevideo home.  This is where today’s one off Final is being played, though not on either club’s home pitch.

The second half of the year, Peñarol started to really flex, becoming the best team on both sides of the ball.  No reason to think that won’t make them the favorite on a neutral grounds.   (2:30 PM, GOL TV)

RESULT:   Peñarol   1-2        Congrats to the national champs!    Cristiano Rodriguez with the go-ahead goal via penalty in AET.

Image result for so many letter U

 

 

 

Sooo many U’s…

  1. NK Lokomotiva vs. Dinamo Zagreb – Croatia First Division

Statistically, the teams look nearly identical.  but it’s Zagreb who are still undefeated with close to half the season in the books.

It’s not exactly must-win for Lokomotiva, but if they drop this home match, they’re then eight behind Zagreb.  That’s a lot for any team to make up in a half season in any league.  Either team can score in bunches, but defense is where both really set themselves apart.

Croatia’s top flight is ranked #16 by UEFA.  Were they just one spot higher, the league would qualify two teams into the Champions league.  As is, just one.

RESULT:   Dinamo   0-1

  1. Suduva vs. Zalgiris Vilnius – Lithuania A Lyga

We finish our Track much farther down the European league rankings.  But it’s still a #1-#B matchup, no matter the Lyga is just #41 in UEFA.

There is no competition there for these two.  Suduva lead everyone’s favorite Superman movie villain-sounding club by five points in the table with the season winding down.  The next best team is two dozen points farther back.

Unlike Croatia’s best, these two are much more offensively-minded.  Both average more than two goals per game, so a shootout looks to be in store.

RESULT:   Z.V.   1-2          Domantas Simkus with the game-winner at 90′

 

 

So long from Marijampole, home of club Suduva!

 

The Millennia Monument

’10 to Track’ Sunday (11/4) soccer matches – MLS playoffs lead the way!

Noob is just 2-6 in the top division in his Scrabble tournament this weekend.  And I haven’t even faced the former national champ yet.   Welp.

So serving up the ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game – is sweet relief to me.  I’m still previewing a match from there this week, but I can’t wait to go salve my wounds with a return back to my fall-winter Sodor home next weekend.

  1. Portland Timbers vs. Seattle Sounders – Major League Soccer playoffs

It’s the Quarterfinals!   In this and the next round, teams face off in two-legged, home-and-away ties.  The lesser seed hosts first.  That’s #5 Portland.

The Timers have had quite the roller coaster season.  Their springtime was simply divine, filled with rain showers and blooming lilies and never a stormy cloud or loss to be seen.  But the summer heat made them inconsistent as could be.

Noob-reviled Sounders come in red-hot, on a five-match win streak.   The defense carried them most of the year.  Of late, it’s been their offense shouldering the load.  If that continues, this is a bad matchup for Portland, which struggled on defense compared to most Playoff clubs.   (5:30 PM EST, ESPN)

RESULT:   Portland   2-1

B.  NYCFC vs. Atlanta United – Major League Soccer playoffs

Atlanta were annihilated in their final regular season match by defending champs yet non-playoff bound Toronto.  That cost them the East’s #1 seed and the Supporters Shield.  But as the #B team, they still got a bye into the Quarters.

The New York Blues beat Philly in both of their last two matches.   That’s good work.  But Atlanta were the scoring champs of the entire league and played just as good of defense as New York City FC.   (7:30 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   Atl   0-1

Image result for grouchy soccer

 

 

how Noob imagines the supporters for New York and Philly — grouchy

 

3.  Wellsworth vs. Ffarquhar – Isle of Sodor Premier

Since Noob’s in Asheville, NC, I’ll miss this fun matchup in the IoSPL’s inaugural season.

Wellsworth were going to be in the bottom of the three divisions.  But they made the Quarterfinals of the first-ever FA Cup this summer.  As reward, they get to play top flite.

Ffarquhar plays in one of the larger towns of the same name, also made the Quarters.  They were slated for PL status already.

These teams were about mirror images of one another statistically.  it’s hard not to lean on the visitors as favorites.  Suddric clubs all draw pretty much from their immediate locales for players.  Wellsworth is a small village — it’s just a numbers game.

Neither played much defense in the FA Cup, even compared to other teams.  That’s saying something.  Aggressive defense is quietly considered uncouth on Sodor.

RESULT:   Ffarquhar   1-5

  1. UNAM Pumas vs. Cruz Azul – Liga MX

With three matches to go in the Apertura (first half-season), Noob believes at least six teams have a realistic shot at the regular season title.

These two are in 4th and 3rd place, respectively.   Cruz Azul play the league’s tightest D, but their offense has scuffled this month.  Some of that may be the extra matches as they advance deeply in the Copa MX going on.

Pumas haven’t lost a match in a couple months.  I’m not sure they will catch CF America for #1. but I’d bet on them moving up a couple spots to #B.

RESULT:   Cruz   1-2          Cruz is the new #1

Image result for six is crazyZero to do with soccer, but PersonNoob (my daughter) loves M.L.P.’s “Mane Six”.

  1. Arsenal vs. Birmingham City – England Women’s Super League

Last season, Arsenal missed a top-two finish and invite to the Champions League by just one point in the table.  And they’re still feeling raw about it.  6-0-0, 31:3 GD.  It was Chelsea pulling the unbeaten number all last season, but there’s a new leader of this pack.

Nearly all the rest of the teams struggle to score a little, and #3 Birmingham is no exception.  They’ve only allowed three goals, but may well give up that many today.

RESULT:   Arsenal   3-1       Jordan Noobs with two goals, and the coolly-named Danielle van de Donk with the other for Arsenal

  1. Cork City vs. Dundalk – FAI Cup (Ireland)

It’s the Final!

Congrats to the league champs, Dundalk, upending two-time defending champs Cork City.  And now they wrestle over another trophy today.

Dundalk lead the Premier there in goal-scoring and defense.   It’s their offense that’s the greater strength.

Cork lost too many close matches to make it a close regular season title race.  But Dundalk have only managed draws their last two away matches.  Noob suspects they probably just rested starters with title in hand, but maybe they’ve spent themselves and the road has become hard.   And while this isn’t a home match for Cork, neither is it in Dundalk.  The big national stadium in Dublin hosts this one.

RESULT:   Dundalk   1-2      hail to the victors!

Image result for FAI Cup Trophy 2018

 

 

Soooo shiny

  1. Olimpia vs. Cerro Porteño – Paraguay Pro Division

Olimpia ran away with the Apertura regular season title and are doing the same here in the Clausura (second-half season).  They’ve already guaranteed themselves a berth into the next Champions League.

C.P. again find themselves #B.  Their D is sensational.  But if that’s the immovable object, Olimpia’s firepower is the irresistible force.  And they’re more irresistible – you saucy minxes – than C.P. is immovable.

RESULT:   2-2           Naughtiness ensued at 90′!   A red card for someone on each time and Olimpia hits a penalty at that mark

  1. Portmore United vs. Tivoli Gardens – Jamaica Premier

Jamaica and Trinidad and Tobago are the strongest leagues of those in the Caribbean subgroup in CONCACAF.

Portmore crushed it during 2017-18 regular season, then went on to win the tournament title.  Tivoli finished 3rd last year.  The new season is just seven matches in, but things look largely the same.  T.G. can play defense with the best of them, but can’t put it in the back of the net like Portmore.

RESULTL   Tivolo   0-1

Image result for Jamaican crush

 

 

Impress your fave Portmore fan and/or your own Jamaican crush with a lovely gift of Jamaican Crush.

  1. Le Geldar vs. Etoile Matoury – French Guiana Honor Division

Nation a FIFA member?  Nope.  Full CONCACAF member?  You betcha.  Two-horse race last year between these two, with Le Geldar winning the trophy by one point.

And that’s an even closer margin here than in most leagues.  In French Guiana, a win is worth four points, a tie worth two for each team, or one point just for showing up to lose.  so instead of two or three table-points being distributed like in most leagues, here it’s four or five.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Scholars United vs. Roma United – Cayman Islands Premier

We finish our Track with another matchup of 2017-18 #1 and #B teams!   This was another race decided by just a point.  But this league is different than most, or was last season.

These top two were both carried by their defense.   They didn’t Small Ball, but the next four teams in the table all played about as well or better on offense.  Just not the way these things happens in most places.

RESULT:   1-1

T.E. McField Sports Centre, George Town

 

 

So long from T.E. McField Sports Center, George Town, C.I.!

home of Scholars

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – MLS, oodles of CONCACAF lead your Wednesday

Midweek time – that means ten matches over three days instead of ten each.

What can Noob say?   There are just so many hours in the day, and we’re expanding, adding great new features soon!

We’ve already added “Noob Sandwich Reviewoobs”.   Scroll back a couple of Tracks to see the first installment.

Also, Noob is slated to appear on the Bros Talking Soccer podcast Sunday.  We’ll keep you posted on when it’s available on the various platforms.   And no, despite being Twitter-familiar with one another, Noob’s is not sure the Bros know what they’re getting into.  It may go very “normally”.  It may be very “Noob”.   God help us either way.

Finally, Isle of Sodor Premier League coverage will begin this weekend!

Noob hasn’t negotiated exclusive rights or anything.  But no one else is covering it, so we WILL.     Noob covered their inaugural FA Cup which ended a couple months ago.  Thought someone more mainstream would grab the baton and cover IoSPL.  Nope.

So Noob’s packing his bags, ready to split some time between here and some of my fave B&B’s and such on Sodor.  It’s going to be….well, it’s going to be content.  Yay!

(Tuesday and Wednesday matches and results follow further down.)

Thursday

No real preview work today.   Real Salt Lake plays for Playoff seeding against eliminated-New England.   Remember, Noobites:  Real Salt Lake means “royal” and we carry no truck with monarchy on our soil.  None!

Wednesday

  1. D.C. United vs. Toronto FC – Major League Soccer

Not only did D.C. do it – climbing back from the Eastern Division basement, but they’ve climbed into a playoff spot (6th place) with three matches to go.  His massive price tag aside, anyone who thought it wouldn’t be worthwhile to get former all-time European great Wayne Rooney was mistaken.

This all said, there are those three matches to go.  They could climb one more spot up the table, but they could get passed by Montreal (just one point back).

How does their schedule compare with Montreal’s?  Defending champs Toronto FC and their last regular season opponents Chicago fire are bad and worse.  Sandwiched in between they’ll host much tougher (#3) NYCFC.  Montreal play Toronto and newly-eliminated from contention New England.  So Noob thinks the difference may come down to can D.C. get at least a home draw against NYCFC.

I’ve only started learning all but the biggest stars’ names here the second half of the season.  If you’re a tenured Noobite, you’ll know Rooney’s right-hand man is Luciano Acosta.   But look for impact from Russell Canouse, a young midfielder who got the only goal their last outing – a massive win over the West’s #1 FC Dallas.  He was rewarded with a slot on the MLS Team of the Week.  Which I hadn’t known was a thing.  Learningess!   (7:00 PM EST, ESPN+)

RESULT:   1-0   D.C. Utd.          Who else by Mr. Worth-Every-Pound Wayne Rooney

Image result for russell canouse

 

 

A ball, for Noob?  Thanks, Russ!

(Now where are Rooney and Lucky Acosta… get some serious signatures up in here.)

 

Canadia vs. U.S.A. – CONCACAF Women’s Championship / World Cup qualification

Actually, but virtue of making this Final, these two have now already qualified for next tear’s WC.  Congrats, gals!   Not that they or anyone are surprised.  They’re ranked #5 and #1 the world.  Only Canadia even allowed a single goal to be scored against them.

Tobin Heath, Megan Rapinoe, Drunk-Disney Alex Morgan — we know the USWNT team some.  So here’s a shoutout to Canadia’s Christine Sinclair.   She’s a veteran, still a superstar, and trails retired U.S. player Abby Wambach by seven for all-time most international goals scored.  That’s men’s or women’s side.

She won’t get seven today.  Canadia may not score here in Frisco (greater Dallas) today.  But her presence gives them a real chance.  Noob still favors the Americans by two, but we could finally see both teams get their first competitive match in a while.   (8:00 PM, FS2)

RESULT:   U.S.A.   0-2         Hail to the victors!

  1. Panama vs. Jamaica – CONCACAF Women’s Championship / World Cup qualification

This match still matters in terms of WC entry.  The winner gets in, the loser gets absolutely none fruit cup.  None at all!  Friscoans (Friscites?) will deny them at all opportunities before the loser goes home.

They’re tanked #62 and #64.  Whichever wins, it’s that team’s first ever time making World Cup.  High drama!   (5:00 PM, FS2)

RESULT:   Jamaica   2-2  /  2-4  PK

Image result for soccer drama

 

 

Real board game.   

Noob just up started the ol’ Christmas list.

  1. Canadia vs. Dominica – CONCACAF Nations League qualification

Double-dip Noob Canadiaian!

All the men’s teams in CONCACAF playing actually “qualify” for Nations League next year.   But the top ten finishers will make the next Gold Cup.  Those are our region’s championships.  There, they’ll join the six teams that made the final six for World Cup qualifying last year.

Canadia should be there.  They’re ranked #7 in all CONCACAF (if only 79th in the world), trailing only #6 Jamaica in terms of teams that have to play this event to make said Gold Cup.

Dominica are in the bottom half of CONCACAF, ranked #177 by FIFA.  In their first match, they got a draw against higher-ranked Suriname.

Noob is so torn!   Two workplaces ago, I worked with a guy both from Canadia and from Dominca.  Both were cool d00dz.  Funny, I’ve forgotten Canadiaian Ty’O’s first name.   Not sure I ever knew Dominican Julie’s last name.  But he was a laugh riot, even without my being able to understand half of what he said in his thick accent.

I remember one time having to help Julie decipher a speeding ticket, one he got for going so far over the speed limit that a court appearance was mandatory.   Ah, memories.

Wait, soccer, what?

  1. Cruzeiro vs. Corinthians – Brazil Cup

It’s the Final of the Copa do Brasil!   Second leg.  Cruziero took the first leg 1-0.

This is especially important compared to so many FA Cups the world over.  For example, in Europe, the winner is typically qualified for the second-tier Europa League.  Not Champions League.  Here, however, the winner gets into Copa Libertadores, S. America’s version of Champions League.

It’s extra super important this year because Brazil’s top league sends only six teams from there into the CL.  And these two traditional powers are somehow down in 10th and 11th place currently.  And the season there is in its home stretch.   This could be both these clubs’ only reasonable shot at CL.   (8:45 PM, Fox Soccer Plus)

RESULT:   Cruzeiro   1-2      Whoopsie!    Listed Cruzeiro as home team.  They were the visitors for today’s second leg.  Congrats, hombres!

Image result for copa do brasil 2018

 

 

Noob’s diggin’on the trophy, too.

  1. CD Aguila vs. Santa Tecla – El Salvador Primera

Aguila are tied for #B with undefeated Alianza.  Santa Tecla lead them both by two points in the table, but have played one more match than Alianza (the best team in the league in reality).

The soccer year here is divided into Apertura and Clausura (first and second-half seasons). Of the two winners, the one with the better aggregate record will qualify for the 2020 CONCACAF Champions League.  The other champion and the runner-up with the better aggregate record will get into the CONCACAF League, a tournament through which teams can qualify for the Champions League.

The three teams listed are way ahead of everyone else here in the Apertura.

RESULT:   Aguila   1-0     Aguila and Alianza are now in a tie for 1st

  1. La Equidad vs. Tolima – Colombia Primera A

In Colombia, the two stages of the season are Apertura and Finalizacion.  The winner of the postseason knockout tournament following each makes the Copa Libertadores.  So it’s not nearly as strong a league as Brazil.  But hey – they’re playing!

Tolima finished 3rd in the Apertura regular season before winning the postseason.  They’re part of a three-way tie for #B.

Leaders La Equidad have been a surprise this Stage, as they were below average during the Apertura.  They still don’t score like the biggest boys.  Noob thinks they’re primed to get upset at home.

RESULT:   Tolima   0-1       There is now a four-way tie for 1st

Image result for insurance team funny

 

A club nicknamed “The Insurance Team” just isn’t destined to stay at the top.

 

 

Tuesday

  1. U.S.A. vs. Peru – international men’s friendly

USMNT lost last week to Colombia 4-2.  It was a match in which they came from behind, but lost in the end.  It’s a very, very young roster, and in particular the backline was raw as could be.  Today, Coach Sarachan is switching back to a veteran, former Premier League goalkeeper – Sporting Kansas City’s Brad Guzan.  Critics argue the team should push nothing but youth.

The inclusion of veteran Michael Bradley is drawing ire from this crowd.   That’s not a defensible stance.  But Noob thinks that there are enough friendlies to go around.  If you want the players to learn, experience against great opponents, is, well, great.  But mixing in some seasoned folks to teach them from their own side, in their own locker room has to be valuable, too.

Today’s match is being held at UCONN’s soccer field, an oft-used venue for USMNT.  The two teams here are ranked #22 and #21 by FIFA.  Peru just finished pounding Chile 3-0 at the Hard Rock venue in Miami.  That team is ranked #12.    (7:30 PM EST, ESPN2)

RESULT:   1-1        U.S. looked decent when pressing forward.  When they could maintain possession at all.

Image result for too much america

 

 

Noob doesn’t get it.

Get to the footyball matches any way you can, Amuricuh.

B.  Mexico vs. Chile – international men’s friendly

And Mexico’s is ranked 15th, so it’s another quality matchup!  On paper.   That 0-3 loss was telling, and what it turns out it tells us is that Chile did not bring its top stars.    It’s being held at Liga MX club FC Queretaro’s home stadium in

But that’s okay, we’re here to support our CONCACAF neighbors.  Raul Jimenez scored the winning penalty kick-goal for Mexico in their last outing over Costa Rica.   This match will feature a lot of youth on both sides of the ball, so we’re not expecting a ton of goals, but perhaps another dramatic finish just the same.   (9:45 PM, Unimas)

RESULT:   0-1   Chile          The visitors score at 90′ in what was a pretty even match

Image result for mexican neighbors funny

 

Noob’s not going political on this site.  Just not in my ken.

But it seems a border wall might be susceptible to a Ned Flanders attack.

  1. France vs. Germany – UEFA Nations League

Groups of three, top finisher only from each advance to the Playoffs.   This is a League A matchup, meaning these two are from one of the Groups that are ranked by UEFA in top dozen.

They’ve both played two of their four matches.  Germany have yet to score, though they still earned a draw in one of those games.  France lead the Netherlands by a point in the table.

These two teams are ranked as tied for #1 and #12, respectively, in the world by FIFA.   Noob’s becoming less convinced those numbers matter in this tournament.

This is a new event, one designed to add some meaning to parts of the calendar that were previously filled with simply international friendlies.  It’s a pathway to getting into the 2020 European Championships, but that may not be motivating teams of this caliber.  They’re almost certainly going to be there no matter how they do here.   (2:45 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   France   2-1      Antoine Griezmann with both goals for the home side in the come-from-behind win

’10 to Track’ soccer matches: Globetrotting Friday

TGIGF!

Since the World Cup is bringing new Noobite eyes, here’s our m.o.  Noob normally previews the ten most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game.

On Friday, we start with these matches of matches, but then span the globe!  Friday schedules tend to be light, so we pack our gear, head off for soccer hinterlands less-known.

Let’s get to know some clubs, leagues and locales.  Up, up, and away.

  1. Brazil vs. Belgium – FIFA World Cup

And then there were eight, Noobites.  It’s a shame these two are meeting this early in the tournament, being the #B and #3-ranked teams in the world.

Brazil managed only a draw against Switzerland (which also advanced from the Group Stage), but has handled business perfectly since.  They beat Mexico 2-0 in the Round of 16, with both teams getting mouthy during and after the match.  Brazil star Neymar did his usual routine by flopping around on the ground like he’d been Tasered when someone breathed on him hard.

Belgium made a little history in their last match, falling behind 0-2 to the loveable Japanese team before storming back.  If Noob understand correctly, no team in WC had come back from down two goals to win (maybe win specifically in regulation time) since WEST Germany back in the 1970’s.

Belgium’s subs saved them, being more physical than the starters and keying their comeback victory.  Talk is that they will start with more “power” for this match, play some of those guys earlier. And Belgium has already been the highest-scoring team in the tournament. Still, star midfielder de Bruyne is who to watch – the team goes as he does.  For Brazil, it’s Neymar.

And there you have it.  Mini-preview, enough to get you through over-the-neighbor’s-fence chat level.  Now go, be free!  Google you up some deeper pregame analysis if the itch needs more scratching.  Noob will, too.

RESULT:   Belgium   1-2     Brazil headed one into their own goal off a Belgian corner kick.    de Bruyne scored the game-winner.

Image result for chatting over the fence

 

 

“Your soccer knowledge impress me.

Mytwitfacespacebookme sometime, you hunky yard-raker, you.”

B.  East Coast Diesel vs. Cronk – Isle of Sodor Cup

The Round of 16 continues, as does Noob’s seemingly exclusive online coverage of the inaugural Sudric FA Cup!  Let’s get to know our combatants.

E.C.D is one of the two clubs formed in Vicarstown, which is just across the water from Cumbria, England.  They dominated their Group, winning all three matches by a total margin of 10-1.

They’ve been projected to be included in the first-ever IoS Premier League in a few months, though barely.  Their inclusion seems guaranteed now.  Which of the three divisions clubs will play in will be in part based on how teams fare in this tournament.

Diesel are a big-boy team.  They control space in the end thirds of the pitch, are as close to a physical team as Sodor has.  Teams that have success against them control the midfield with ease.  E.C.D.’s guys aren’t fast.

Cronk are slated to be in the Second Division, and not expected to complete for the title in Year one.  They may be the weakest team to have survived the Group Stage.  That said, they did manage a draw against much bigger Tidmouth City after being blown out by Knapford Town.

From a distance, Cronk proper looks like little more than an overgrown estate on a big rock overlooking a valley.  It is a traditional and historic village, just oddly- (and coolly) placed, overlooking the pristine Hawin Ab valley in the center of the Isle.  The small villages of Abbey, Kildane and Maron are all nearby, providing a bit larger of a pool of potential players to draw from than perhaps some realized.  Might be why they’re having a measure of success.

The winner today gets either Tidmouth City or Callan.

RESULT:   E.C.D.  0-0  /  5-4 pk       Scoreless after 90′ is NOT something one expects in Sodor.  A pop-up shower good and wet the field about 10 minutes in and that affected the pace.  

Image result for Vicarstown Ireland hotel

 

 

 

Noob just rents a room above the bar, my fave watering hole in the ‘Vic.

  1. Portland Thorns vs. Utah Royals – NWSL

Expansion Utah are making a move on the Playoffs!  A home draw against #B Seattle was a fine result, and then they walloped horrid Sky Blue FC.  They’re just a point behind Chicago for the last postseason berth.

Portland are trending the other direction, a point behind Utah in the table.  They only achieved a draw with Sky Blue before losing to Seattle.  Hardly a terrible loss, but will the Thorns be energized or deflated after losing to their regional rivals?

RESULT:   Portland   4-0

  1. Penn FC vs. Bethlehem Steel – USL

Bethlehem are in 8th place, hanging onto the last playoff slot in the Eastern Conference by the hair on their Steely chins.  They just thrashed 7th-place Charlotte.

Penn are in 11th and loved to take the air out of the ball early in the season.  They hadn’t been as successful that style as fellow Pennsylvanians Pittsburgh Riverhounds.  They scored a lot more in June and are on a five-match unbeaten streak.

RESULT:   Penn   3-2

Image result for Bethlehem Steel ben stiller

 

 

Derek Zoolander — #1 supporter

  1. Persija Jakarta vs. PSM Makassar – Indonesia Liga 1

And now we Trot the Globe!  Welcome to the #27-ranked league in Asia, just a shade below average.   The drama is anything but, though.  Just over a dozen matches into the season and 18th/last place and 1st are separated by just ten points in the table.

And #1 is Makassar.  Jakarta are four points behind in 3rd.  Only the league’s winner will even possibly make the AFC Champions League.  They could be instead assigned to the lesser AFC Cup.

Fun Fact:  Persija Jakarta are “the Kematyoran Tigers”, named for a subdistrict in Jakarta.

RESULT:   2-2

  1. Lao Army vs. Lao Toyota – Lao League

We move now a little north and a little farther down the AFC league rankings (#35) to Laos!  This league has eight clubs, down from 14 just two years ago.  Noob’s sources are conflicted as to whether two teams are still being relegated annually.

If that’s still happening, Lao Army are set to get The Boot, second-to-last place.  They don’t defend.  Noob’s not sure they try.  And that’s a bad tach when #1 is coming to town.  Lao Toyota have more than 4x the goal differential of any other team.

RESULT:     now slated for tomorrow

Image result for city of sandalwood vientiane

 

Fun Fact:   Lao Army are from the capital, Vientiane, which translates originally as “city of sandalwood”.

  1. Selenge Press vs. Daren – Mongolia Premier

Asian league #41.  The winner here will also only qualify for AFC Cup, and a Preliminary Round at that.  But hey – they’re playing!  These are the 5th and 6th-place teams in the league, respectively.

Fun Fact:   Ulaanbaatar translates to “Red Hero City”.  Most of the clubs in this league are from there, the capital.

RESULT:   Daren   0-2

  1. Nam Dinh vs. Song Lam Nghe An – Vietnam V.League 1

Let’s yo-yo up to the top half of the federation’s rankings (#19).  Even up here, the league winner may make Champions League or Asia Cup.

Nam Dinh are about to not be “up here”.  They’re in second-to-last place.  Should they stay there, they’ll have to play a Relegation match or matches with a V.League 2 club at season’s end.   Nghe An are one of the most successful clubs in the nation’s history, but only in 6th this year.

RESULT:   Nghe An   2-3

Image result for water puppetry

 

Fun Fact:   Water puppetry was created in the Red River Delta region, which Nam Dinh calls home.

  1. Mawyawadi vs. Rakhine United – Myanmar National League

Same situation here in the #25 league.  The winner might go to CL or AFC Cup.

Not that either of these teams need worry about that.  Mawyawadi are in distant last place.  They’re biggest team weakness:  football.  Rakhine are in 9th place, should spend their season trying to stay out of second-to-last place and getting demoted.

Fun Fact:   Nay Pyi Taw – the purpose-built national capital city might be the home of Mawyawadi.  or it might be the former capital, Yangon, that is their home base.  Noob’s sources are conflicted.

RESULT:   2-6   Rakhine

  1. Zaria vs. Victoria Bardar – Moldova Cup

We’ll end the Track making or way back westward into Europe.  This FA Cup is in its Round of 16.  Zaria are in last place in the top-flight league, but won the first match in this two-legged tie 1-4.  Victoria Bardar are a midtable, second-division club.

This is one of the most competitive ties going this round.  There have been about nothing but epic blowouts in between most of the other teams.

RESULT:   Zaria   4-1

Image result for Zaria Balti auction

 

 

Fun Fact:   In 2009, Zaria auctioned off a one-year player contract online.

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – World Cup and Isle of Sodor cup knockout stages lead the way

Updated.  For her pleasure (Wed., 3:35  PM EST)

Midweek Edition is now complete.  Matches for Thursday are previewed, results for previous days are UP.

  1. Colombia vs. England – FIFA World Cup

So lots of folks think England intentionally blew their last Group Stage match versus Belgium in order to get a perceived easier path to deep in the tournament.  Noob thinks that sort of stuff might have made Colombia’s locker room bulletin board.

England looked dynamite in their first tournament match — against Panama.  They squeaked by Tunisia 1-2 with an injury time goal.  This team didn’t come to Russia with tons of hype.  They’re very young.

Colombia pummeled Poland and took down Senegal to win their Group.  But that was after a loss to FIFA-ranked #61 Japan to start their WC.  Admittedly, Japan surprised everyone and advanced.  And Colombia had been down to ten men after an early handball saw one of their players red-carded.

James Rodiguez is Colombia’s star and was injured in the last match, if not seriously.  He should be available, but may doubt he will start the match.  England = Harry Kane.  He has five WC goals so far.

And there you have it, mini-preview success!  This should get you through water cooler chat-level convo about the game.  Now go, be free!   Search out in-depth pregame analysis if your heart goes pitapat for such.  Noob will; his does.   (2:00 PM Eastern, Fox)

RESULT:   England   1-1  /  3-4 pk      England gave up their lead in stoppage time, then fell behind in penalty kicks before coming back to win.

Image result for water cooler chat

 

 

 

Is it always sunny at the water cooler?

B.  Houston Dynamo vs. LAFC – MLS

Watch this game.  Expansion club LAFC score like it protects their mothers’ reputations.  Offense galore!   They struggle on defense, but they’re still #3 in the Western Conference.

Houston is 7th there, just outside the Playoff picture.  The Dynamo look superb on paper.  But they lose a lot of close matches, earn very few draws.  Is it a toughness issue?

One of LAFC’s key offensive cogs is red-hot Adama Diomande.  The Oslo, Norway native scored seven times in June.  Previously he has played for Hull City in England’s second-tier Championship league.  (9:00 PM, ESPN+)

RESULT:   2-2     Houston scored twice in the 90′ to come back for a draw.

Image result for adama diomande funny

 

Noob had no idea the balls they played with across the pond were so odd.

  1. Cabalnoo vs. Crovan’s Gate – Isle of Sodor Cup

The Round of 16 knockout stage continues!  Let’s profile today’s combatants:

Cabalnoo stunned the Isle in the Group Stage, winning Group B.  They scored far and away the most goals (25!) in the three matches while also giving up the most (15).   That slashing, daring style is hardly unique on Sodor, where defense isn’t exactly a prized virtue.  But those numbers are nutso.  Will they continue in the same aggressive fashion, or become conservative now that the tournament is one-and-done?

Cabalnoo is such a surprise because it is such a small village.  They’ve been projected to start their league play in the bottom, Third Division when the inaugural leagues start in a few months.  They had to win qualifying matches just to get to the Group Stage.

It’s just small, idyllic village on a railway line.  A lot of milling takes place for the surrounding countryside farmers here.  But no other villages of note are fielding an official Club anywhere else in this south-central part of the Isle, so they’re drawing players from a bit larger area than many may have realized.

The story of Group A was that Toryreck wrecked all comers.  Crovan’s Gate is a pretty low-end average team that beat the other two also-rans on tiebreaking goal differential by just not getting housed by the winners.

The Village of Crovan’s Gate is the most southwesterly incorporated area on Sodor, though well inland.  It’s a hub for industrial equipment repair, and so has a lot of transplants from other parts of the Isle.  Perhaps in some way people coming to live here for those particular jobs plays into the strange nickname for the football club – “The Grumpy Passengers”.

RESULT:   Crovan’s Gate   7-8     Neither side led by more than one AND CG game back to win late.

  1. Reno 1868 vs. Real Monarchs SLC – USL

Noob shakes his fist at you, “Real”!   No royalty in ‘Muricuh, not now, not ever.  Utah is weird.  OK, now that’s out of my system.

Reno haven’t lost a league match since mid-April, but lots o’ draws means they’ve only climbed to 5th place.  Accursed-SLC leads the Western Conference and man alive are they tough to score on.  Last year, Reno scored on everyone at will, but this year is more defensively-oriented.

Noob thinks the matchup is a bad one for the Nevadans.

RESULT:   Reno   3-0     Then again, they were at home 🙂

Image result for Reno 1868 funny

Noob can’t quite put his finger on why, but Chris Weham just looks Nevadan.  No matter where he might actually be from.

Wednesday

  1. Dallas FC vs. Atlanta United – MLS

Atlanta is coming of a pasting of rival Orlando City.  Possibility of a letdown is here, though one would think travelling to the #B team in the Western Conference will keep them on their toes.

Dallas trail only Kansas City in that conference, despite having lost two of their last three matches.  They win a lot, yet haven’t beaten a truly good team sin a month (LAFC).  This will be an excellent test to see if they’re truly capable of being a championship-caliber team.

Atlanta is a goal-scoring behemoth, yet Noob believes their success starts at the other end of the field.  Veteran goalkeeper Brad Guzan spent nearly a decade in the English Premier League.  He is used to directing intelligent defenses, has the team as a top-three unit in the East.   (8:00 PM, ESPN+)

RESULT:   Dallas   3-2    Akindele with the tying and go-ahead goals at almost 90′.

  1. Real Salt Lake vs. Sporting Kansas City – MLS

Speak of the leaders and they appear.  They hadn’t lost a match since April until lowly Montreal beat them two-nothing.  As perplexing as that may be, the road is hard for most everyone.  They’re an incredibly well-balanced team.  Noob thinks they will hold one for the #1 seed in the West.

RSL is a target of Noob’s ire and rage!   I will never tire of pointing out that ‘Muricuh has no royalty to dub anything “royal”.  The “Claret and Cobalt” snobs are in 5th place, but how?  They can’t score worth a darn and yet have only two draws.  Win or bust for them most every time out.

The Management has KC ties and will be cheering hard for them.   Noob hates to suck up to the boss, but I will be joining him in it.  (10:00 PM, ESPN+)

RESULT:   RSL   4-2

Image result for ire and rage funny

 

Noob bottles none.  But may head to a bulk store and stock up now.

  1. North Carolina Courage vs. Chicago Red Stars – NWSL

Chicago’s been enjoying a favorable run in their schedule, haven’t lost in four matches, and have climbed into a tie for 3rd.  Wonderful!  Now they head into the #1 Courage’s gladiatorial arena, equipped figuratively with only a dull stick.  Footyball death and destruction await them.

RESULT:   NC   4-1

Thursday

  1. Toryreck vs. Ffarrquhar – Isle of Sodor Premier Cup

Play on Sodor has always been unstructured.  Mini-seasons between quickly-formed leagues, small day tournaments.  It’s always been there, but very fluid.  Because of this, the new FA on Sodor had a hard time judging which teams would be strongest.  They went primarily on town or village size for putting teams into Pots for the Group Stage draw.

And boy was that method seemingly inaccurate!  Toryreck were the lowest-seeded team in Pot 4.  They had to play qualifying matches against other very small village teams just to get to the Group Stage.  There, they dominated, outscoring opponents 15-3.

Not too far inland from Knapford on the east-central coat, Toryreck used to be known as a lead mining area.  These days, the joke about the village is not to drink the milk there.  One of the two main dairies on the Isle is nearby, but now the primary mining is of uranium.

Ffarquhar is a larger village, known most for its general rock-quarrying.  The big Anopha Quarry isn’t even all that far north of Toryreck, and so these teams know one another very well.  The double F were pretty average during the Group Stage, but did enough to finish second behind East Coast Diesel.

The winner here gets either E.C.D. or Cronk in the Quarterfinals.

RESULT:   2-3   Ffarquhar

Image result for radioactive milk

 

 

Noob loves how someone designed this to show that milk goes in the glass to complete the danger-cycle.

  1. Engordany vs. Folgore – Europa League

UEFA’s version of American’ college basketball’s NIT has already begun!   This is the Preliminary Round, where FA Cup and #B-finishers from the lowest-ranked Euro leagues compete.

Engoradny finished #B in Andorra’s top domestic league last season.  Folgore was second-best in San Marino.  The Andorrans won the first match of the two-legged tie 2-1.  The winner will advance to play Lithuanian club Zalgiris Vilnius.

Noob doesn’t have a lot to tell you about these teams, Noobites.  The point is more to know that the event has begun at all.

RESULT:   Engo   1-1   /  3-2 pk

  1. Ludogorets Razgrad vs. Slavia Sofia – Bulgaria Super Cup

The Bulgarian First League’s 2018-19 season begins in less than three weeks.  Like in many nations, they’re league defending champs and the last FA Cup winner face off in a fancy exhibition to whet folks’ appetites.  The game is in Sofia, though not at Slavia’s home pitch.

Slavia Sofia did very well to win the FA Cup.   They didn’t do all that well in league certainly.  They didn’t even make the top 6 (of14) and make the championship subdivision near season’s end.  Ludo (and CSKA Sofia) steamrolled the rest of the league.

Slavia beat Levski Sofia in this event last year.  Still, if Slavia can keep this within a goal today, Noob will be impressed.

RESULT:   L.R.   1-0

Image result for Bulgaria impressed funny

 

 

Breed a rideable sheep-pig?

THAT impresses.

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Relegation Monday – World Cup, Isle of Sodor, suckitude, and Lalas

‘T’will be an EPIC Monday.

Relegation matches, celebrating the suckitude of teams about to go down a league?  Check.  Oh, and did Noob dig deep to find them.

World Cup!  Natch.  Isle of Sodor – Knockout Round of 16 begins.

And for that last, we’ve brought in Alexi Lalas, American soccer hero.  You read that right.  The Lalas.   Noobites, it’s a special day.

  1. Mexico vs. Brazil – FIFA World Cup

Many an American has jumped on the bandwagon for “El Tri”.  Many others have bashed the former for it.  Noob holds no position.  Root for a neighbor; cheer against our rivals.  No lives or loves are lost over it.  And it anyone gives you grief, you poonch that naysayer right in the snoosage.

Noob’s research shows Mexico are 6:1 underdogs.   Brazil are the five-time champions and ranked #2 in the world, so it’s understandable.  But Mexico did beat #1 Germany (now out of the tournament), so nothing result here would be earth-shattering.

Brazil brings so much firepower, they will be hard to contain.  Neymar.  Coutinho.  Paulinho, too, if those first two get too covered up.  For Mexico, Javier Hernandez if their penalty box-prowler who will be looking for stickbacks.

And there you have it, Noobites!   Just enough to get you through water cooler chat.  Now go, be free!  Search out more in-depth analysis on the interwebs, should the Spirit move you.  Noob will.   (10:00 AM, Fox)

RESULT:   Brazil   2-0     Mexico apparently talked a lot.  Neymar, as usual, flopped a lot and got tons of calls.

Image result for water cooler gossip funny

B.  Brendam Harbor vs. Junction & Sheds – Isle of Sodor Premier

Now that the Knockout Round is here, a little about each of our competitors:

B.H hosts today’s match.  Brendam is one of the few towns seemingly large enough for two clubs, even non-professional ones on Sodor.  Brendam Harbor draws its players from the actual harbor area and southern city-proper.  Everyone on Sodor is a hard worker, but this is definitely the blue collar, working man’s team.

Brendam United plays just north of the city, further inland on this south-centrally located peninsula.  They are more “suburban”, if Sodor has what most would call truly “urban” areas.

While there isn’t much in the way of mean-spiritedness regarding much of anything on Sodor (occasional crossness, certainly), be sure that the Harbormen are happy the purported best team on the island in United didn’t make it out of the Group Stage.  Harbor are considered second-best, on the entire Isle even.  Once the first-ever IoS Premier League starts in a few months, we’ll all see who everyone truly stacks up though.

Knapford is a larger town than Brendam, one of the two “main towns” on the island. It sits on the central West Coast, just southwest across the water from southeast Isle of Man.

Just like Brendam, the town fields two clubs (Knapford Town the other).  Both have their blue-collar bases.  Historically, J&S have drawn from the eastern, more inland portion of Knapford.  The club was started by railway workers.  (Knapford Town is east “old town” Knapford, predominately dockyard and harbor territory.

Only five of the eight teams from Pot One – considered the best on the Isle – survived the Group Stage.  Here, two of them face off.  Brendam Harbor won group D with what few teams play much of on Sodor – defense.  J&S go totally the other way.  They allowed 14 goals in three Group Stage matches, still advanced with a positive goal differential.

Noob is on the Tweeterbox, and had the good fortune to get in a Q&A with an American soccer all-timer and current broadcaster recently.   His take when asked who would win the match:

“Shed’s in the bag.” – Alexi Lalas

The Lalas has spoken!   Now to find out if his words are truly, well, truth.  Let the Round of 16 begin!

RESULT:   Brendam Harbor   4-4 / 3-2 pk      What a start to the Knockout Stage!    The Lalas got it wrong.  Chalk one up for Noobstradamus!   Though I’m not sure anyone saw the unusual manner of it all coming.

Late, one of the J&S players must have misunderstood something one of the BH players said.  The Shedder replied with a very unkind comment – which will not be repeated here – about the Harborman’s Manx heritage.

For those less familiar with Sudric culture — they’re a kind people, industrious… but good golly do they dislike the Isle of Man/Manx. 

They’re long since tired out on jokes about everyone knowing Man exists, but that some think Sodor is a fictional location just because of the books and TV series set there.

So J&S played the last 15 minutes with just ten players, Brendam H. caught up, and pk’s went the way of the hosts.  The Lalas is forgiven; Noobstradamus is commended.

Image result for Alexi Lalas funnyImage result for Noobstradamus

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, so this has-been ginger is doing your prognosticating now?  We’ll see about THAT.  My vision says Brendam Harbor wins, 6-1!  I am Noobstradamus.  -I- have spoken.

  1. Huachipato vs. Deportes Copiapo – Copa Chile

Chile’s FA Cup is also in its Round of 16.  Here, they play two-legged ties instead of simply single-match Knockouts.  10-th place Premier side Huachipato won the first game 1-2.

Copiapo plays in Primera B, the nation’s second tier.  They are part of a five-way tie in the table for three of the spots in the league’s Promotion Playoff.  Their focus should largely be on league, getting up to Primera level.  Hauchi will take this match, sweep the tie.   (8:15 PM, GOL TV)

RESULT:   1-1      Huachipato advances to the Quarters!

  1. LDU de Quito vs. Universidad Catolica – Ecuador Serie A

#1 hosts #3 in a distinct clash of styles.   Quito have built their three-point lead in the table (five over Catolica) on the league’s best defense.  UdC is tied for the league’s top offense.

RESULT:   Quito   2-1

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Que horror, es el pirate-Noob!

  1. Samgurali II vs. Aragvi Dusheti – Georgia Liga III

Third-tier Georgian league – you keep playing on Mondays, Noob’ll make you famous(ish)!

The bottom half of this 20-club league is jousting for Relegation Playoff seeding.  Samgurali are in second-to-last, and Noob thinks it could get worse.  Dusheti is in 13th, and that looks right, based on their stats.  S-II aren’t even an even match at home here.

Fun Fact:   Stalin would visit a  Bathhouse 9 in this spa resort town (Tsqaltubo) where Samgurali clubs are based.

RESULT:   Dusheti   0-4

  1. Guria vs. Matchakhela – Georgia Liga III

Matchakhela are in last place.  Neither they nor S-II can score worth a darn, but Match are less completely-awful on defense.  Not that they will be able to stop #4 Guria.  That team’s just two points outside a berth in the Promotion playoffs.  They hear the siren call of Liga II and will not be denied today.

RESULT:   Guria   1-0

Flag of Adjara

 

 

Matchakhela’s region of Adjara is an autonomous one within Georgia.

  1. Kolkheti Khobi vs. Samegrelo – Georgia Liga III

#16 Samegrelo are an interesting case in that they’re GD could or should have them much higher in the table.  They belong in the Relegation Playoff, make no mistake, but if they’d seal some deals instead of settling for so many draws, they could jump several spots in the table.

This won’t be the day they move that direction though.  K.K. are #B, and excel on both sides of the ball.  They’ll win by a couple.

Fun Fact:  When aske, “How do you pronounce Samegrelo’s townlet of Chkhorotsku?”, the correct response is to enunciate very slowly, “I don’t.”

RESULT:   K.K.   1-0

  1. Mjolner vs. Stabaek II – Norway Second Division

This is actually the Norwegian third tier of football.  Noob told you it was a time of year to dig deeply for Relegation sensation-matches.

Mjolner are 4th in the league.  They’ve played one fewer matches than most and will likely jump two spots after pasting today’s creampuffs.

Said creampuffs are one-win Stabaek II.  They do nothing remotely well and they are in last place, as is appropriate.  They’ll be one of the three teams that gets Relegated to Norway’s Third Division.

Fun Fact:  Stabaek’s first team plays in Norway’s top flight.  They are awful.

RESULT:   Mjolner   4-3

  1. Melhus vs. Levanger II – Norway Third Division

Noob wasn’t kidding.  There’s a Trackable fourth division in Norway.  And we’re on it.  There are 84 teams at this level, broken up into six (presumably regional) Groups.

Four teams will get The Boot into the fifth division (yup, it exists!) from each Group at season’s end.  Group Five’s Levanger II are in second-to-last.  They couldn’t find the back of an opponent’s net if you set them inside it.  5th-place Melhus are pretty average, but could make a move up the table after whacking these weasels today.

Fun Fact:   Levanger (I) played in the Second Division.  They’re lousy, too!

RESULT:   3-3

  1. Lokomotiv Oslo vs. KFUM II – Norway Third Division

These are the 12th and 13th-place teams in Group One.  Noob Tracks and celebrates the downtrodden, but wouldn’t want to watch this one live.  Neither team scores much or really allows tons of goals.  This will be a zero-zero draw.

RESULT:   Lokomtiv   5-0    Well, Noob was sort of half-right…

Image result for lokomotiv oslo 2018

 

“Lokomotiv Oslo — we play behind a middle school.”

And their marketing department is hiring.

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Relegation Monday! Plus World Cup, Isle of Sodor Cup

The ten most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game.  It’s what we do.

Monday, we hit the few big games on the slates, then turn out attention to teams about to possibly be dropped from their leagues for putrid performance.  Relegation Monday!

  1. Iran vs. Portugal – FIFA World Cup

Time to start the third and final matches in Group B!

Iran is in 3rd and must win today to advance, despite being only one point behind Spain and Portugal both.  One of their best players has yet to break out and score, Sardar Azmoun.  He plays in the Russian Premier League, one of the top ten in UEFA.

Portugal would advance with even a draw.  It will be interesting to see what pace, how defensively they play.  They are tied with Spain on both points and goal differential, but behind on the next tie breaker (“Fair Play’ points).  Will Cristiano Ronaldo & Co. push for a win and hope Spain can’t beat already-eliminated Morocco?  Winning the Group makes a difference in where a team is seeded for the Knockout Stage.

And there you have it!  Mini-preview success.  Just enough to get you through water cooler-chat.  Now go, be free!  Noob will be searching out deeper pregame analysis, invites you to do likewise, Noobites.  Our education is important.   (2:00 PM Eastern, Fox, Telemundo)

RESULT:   1-1    Portugal advances, though Spain wins the group by virtue of the second tiebreaker (total goals scored, 6-5).

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He learned footyball powers.  

We can, too.

B.  Suddery vs. Wellsworth – Isle of Sodor Cup

Ah, the Capital.  it’s good to be back.   You are deserving of the distinction of Number B.

These are the last two teams to be playing their second of three Group Stage matches.  So far, every match in this Group has ended in a draw, so the action is hot.

Suddery will likely start in the Premier division this coming and first-ever league season on Sodor.  They aren’t expected to do better than midtable.  In future years, that could get worse, too.  Word already is that the Capital will have a second club before long.

Wellsworth are expected to play in the Second Division, yet probably be a relegation candidate.  Small town.

RESULT:   Wellsworth   3-4      Check out the Isle of Sodor Cup Page link near the upper right of the home page for standings.

Image result for The Rover's Return Isle of Man

 

 

Noob enjoyed drinking tonight with blind-Jeff Daniels and this other guy at Rover’s Return, Suddery.

  1. Thor Akureyri vs. Stjarnan – Iceland Cup

It’s the Quarterfinal knockout round in this FA Cup.  Thor Akureyri are one of two second-division clubs still playing.  They’re in 4th in their league.  Perennial power Stjarnan are #B in the Urvlasdield (top flight).  The home side’s name may sound cool, but they’d do well to keep this within a goal today.

RESULT:   Stjarnan   1-2

  1. Dinamo Brest vs. Gorodeya – Belarus Premier

Welcome back, Gorodeya!  Still in last place, Noob sees.  Good news though.  With a win, you’d climb over two clubs and out of the Drop Zone, for the moment.   A draw is far more likely though.  Why?  Midtable Dinamo Brest has earned draws in seven of their twelves games.

RESULT:   DB   5-2

 

 

Loving the font particularly

  1. Mariehamn vs. Kemi – Finland Veikkausliga

Kemi are in second-to-last place.  Whichever team finishes there will play a second-tier club for the right to play top-flight in 2019.

Mariehamn are one of the clubs that could end up there as well, just one spot higher in the table.  The home team today favors a higher-scoring game, so look for multiple goals both ways here.

Fun Fact:  The Kemi Kings have finished as high as 8th in Finland’s FA Cup

RESULT:   Mariehamn   2-1

  1. Pulau Pinang vs. PDRM – Malaysia Premier

Don’t be confused by the name – this is one of countries that uses “premier” to denote their second-highest league (“Super League” being higher).

Pulau Pinang are sort of in second-to-last.  Kuantan FA have been disqualified from play for financial issues, are listed with zero points, and appear set to be Relegated because of that.  P.P. can’t score, plain and simple.  PDRM are tied for #B, but have overachieved so far.   Could an upset be brewing?

RESULT:   Pinang   3-1     It’s a Relegation Monday miracle!

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Pinang Ultras Panthers supporters group throw toilet paper rolls on the pitch pregame traditionally.

  1. Aral Nukus vs. Xorazm – Uzbek Pro League A

Second-level Uzbek ball?  Yes, please!  Hey. They’re playing.

The league has just nine teams, yet two will be giving The Boot at season’s end.  Aral Nukus are in last.  Wanna know what’s Malay for “defense”?  Don’t ask Noob.  And don’t ask this club.  They’re the worst in that regard, and it’s not close.  Xorazm are midtable.

Fun Fact:   Aral Nukus played in the Soviet Second League for a deacde in the ’70s and ’80’s.

RESULT:   Xorazm   0-3

  1. Norin vs. Mash’al – Uzbek Pro League A

Double dip!  Norin are just a point ahead of Aral Nukus in the table, also in position to get moved down to Pro League B.  They will get housed by the league #1 today.  Worst offense, second-worst defense.

RESULT:   Norin   2-1    An even mightier Relegation Monday miracle!

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Norin’s Namangan region is famous for the  Beqasam (silk type) national dresses.

  1. Yozyovan vs. Lokomotiv BFK – Uzbek Pro League B

Hey, if you find a La Liga, Bundesliga, or English Premier match Noob’s not seeing on the world slate, lemme know.  Pretty sure they’re still in off-season.  So to the third tier we go!

This league is nine teams as well, also with two teams guaranteed to get moved down to the Regional Leagues.  BFK are in last, don’t look statistically like they have it in them to rise more than a spot in the table at best.  Fun-to-say Yozyovan are pretty average.

Fun Fact:   The Fergana Region where the village Yozyovan is located borders both Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan

RESULT:   Yoz   2-1

10.  Matchakhela vs. Aragvi Dusheti – Georgia Liga III

Welcome back, last place-Matchakhela! The Track has missed you.  Still figuring out the rules, Noob sees.  Try scoring.  At all.  This will improve your chances.  #13 (of 20) Dusheti at home might be the best win you’re capable of snaring this year.

RESULT:   Dusheti   2-3

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The ancient Roman fortress Gonio in Matchakhela’s base town is rumored to be the burial place of the Apostle Matthew.

’10 to Track’ Weekend Edition (6/23-24) soccer matches – World Cup, Isle of Sodor Cup, MLS, NWSL y mas!

Join Noob for ten of the most important soccer matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game.  And for my on-site, seemingly exclusive online coverage of the inaugural Isle of Sodor Cup!

Saturday

  1. South Korea vs. Mexico – FIFA World Cup

South Korea lost their first match to Sweden here in Group, while Mexico stunned Germany 1-0.  They are ranked 57th and 15th in the world, respectively.

South Korea have a central midfielder who’s been playing for English Premier club Swansea City –Ki Sung-yeung.  Mexico may well decide to attack more from the edges so he’s not such a factor.

Mexico’s goal in Game One game from Hirving Lozano.  Can he strike again?

There you have it, Noobites!   Snack-sized preview to get you at least through water cooler chat.  noob will not have hurt feelings if you know go in search of even deeper pre-game analysis.  I’m going to certainly.  We learn, we grow.   (11:00 AM Eastern, Fox, Telemundo)

RESULT:   1-2   Mexico      No one is quite through or quite out yet, but these two are nearly so

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B.  New York Red Bulls vs. FC Dallas – MLS

Dallas have pulled into a tie for 1st place in the West with Kansas City.  Their five-match win streak is surely impressive.  It’s worth noting that the road wins have come against softer teams, because NYRB ain’t one.

Red Bulls bring the heat like anyone outside of Atlanta Utd.  They’re in 4th in the Eastern Conference, and have played one to three matches fewer than all the clubs ahead of them.  It’s strange.  They struggle some against teams from their region (except NYCFC), lay waste to most others.  If you like trends, put your money on the home side today.   (6:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Red Bulls   3-0

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Number B, you are so money.

  1. LAFC vs. Columbus Crew – MLS

Our MLS undercard is hardly that as the conferences’ #3’s face off.

LAFC’s one recent league win was against league lowbies San Jose, and they needed two goals in the 90’ to achieve that much (3-4).

Columbus haven’t won since May, yet have mostly earned draws since that time to keep them well afloat in the table.  Their superb goalkeeping was bound to come back to earth a little after an amazing spring stretch. Can Zach Steffen recapture the magic?   (10:30 PM, ESPN+)

  1. Seattle Reign vs. North Caroline Courage – NWSL

It’s #B versus #1!   That will always have a certain luster.  Yet make no mistake, Seattle is a big underdog at home to the locomotive that is NCC.  The league’s only about a dozen games in and the Courage already lead by 11 points in the table.

Still, Seattle hasn’t conceded a goal in three straight matches, and NCC actually let lowly Houston draw with them their last match.

RESULT:   Courage   1-4

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Umm…thanks, Chuck!

  1. Junction & Sheds vs. Killdane – Isle of Sodor Cup

Junction & Sheds (Knapford) aren’t expected to be quite as strong as Knapford Town in the inaugural IoS Premier League coming in a few months, but they’ll be plenty competitive.  They’re one of three teams here in Group G with three points, so simply getting a draw today would hardly guarantee them advancement to the Knockout Round.

Killdane already knocked of a future Premier side in Ulfstead, so they won’t be intimidated.  Perhaps they should be though.  J&S won that first match of theirs by a Cup-largest margin of seven goals (1-8).  Killdane are expected to be a midtable side in the Second Division.

RESULT:   Killdane   1-5!     All of Group G is knotted up at three points apiece with just a match to go each.

Sunday

  1. England vs. Panama – FIFA World Cup

#55 FIFA-ranked Panama needs at least a draw to stay alive in Group G.  A win would guarantee #12 England advancement to the Knockout Round, though they’d need a big one to pass Denmark on goal differential for the Group lead.

England had a sensational first half against Tunisia, likely should’ve won by more than 1-2 as they did.   In all recent major tournaments, they struggle early and often, so “The Three Lions” are thrilled to have a W already.

Panama played a very, very physical style against Belgium, leaving things tied 0-0 at the half before Belgium solved them for a 3-0 win.  England should handle them, but this will be a different challenge presented.

Oh, and England’s coach dislocated his shoulder somehow.   And there you have it!  Mini-preview to get you through water cooler chat-level convo for tomorrow’s biggest WC match.  Now go, be free!  Explore more in-depth pregame schtuff if you are so inclined.  Noob will.  We’re all learning.   8:00 AM Eastern, FS1, Telemundo)

RESULT:   England   6-1

Image result for water cooler funny

  1. Atlanta United vs. Portland Timbers – MLS

Atlanta are perhaps the best team in all the league, and currently sit atop the Eastern Conference.  There can be little doubt Portland are the hottest team.  They had a rough start to 2018, but are now unbeaten in ten straight and are 6th in the West.

It’s the defense that’s got both clubs in playoff slots in the table.  The back lines are key for both sides.  Neither goalkeeper is in the top ten in saves, but ATL’s Brad Guzan has more in today’s matchup.  He played nine seasons in the English Premier League.  Can he keep a clean sheet today?   (4:30 PM, Fox)

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Kirk Ronan vs. Dryaw – Isle of Sodor Cup

Cabalnoo lead Group B, stunningly, are the only one of the four with a win.  All others have ties here, so if either can win this match outright today, we have a real race on our hands.

Dryaw had a weird, scoreless match with Norramby in their first and only match so far.  Defense isn’t a very Sudric thing in football.  Even given that, the ten goals Kirk Ronan conceded against Cabalnoo still has our heads shaking.  Perhaps at home the larger Churchmen club can right things.

RESULT:   Kirk Ronan   4-3

Image result for unique church isle of man

 

Eeriest B&B in the world might be the original Ronan church (“kirk”) where Noob is staying.

  1. Kairat Almaty vs. Astana – Kazakhstan Premier

#B versus #1!   And in a way it’s even tighter.  Kairat Almaty are only five points behind the traditional league power and they’ve played two fewer games.  More, they’ve only lost once.  Astana has already taken two L’s.

Still, Noob’s not ready to call this one for the home team.  Astana would feel fine about a draw and can control the ball enough to get it.

RESULT:   Astana   1-2

  1. BATE Borisov vs. Shakhtyor Soligorsk – Belarus Premier

BATE is the historic great from this domestic lead, and they’re #1 again now.  But #4 Soligorsk have the best defense in the league.  BATE have to be favored, especially at home – and with the best offense to boot.  Still, this could end up the surprise upset of leagues today.

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for Barysaw strange

 

 

If Noob weren’t in Kirk Ronan, Sodor for the Cup, I’d be saying, “So long from beautiful Barysaw, Belarus!”

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Globetrotting Friday (6/22) – World Cup, Isle of Sodor Cup, and off to footyball hinterlands!

‘The ten most important soccer matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game.’

On Fridays, that gets messed with.  We look at a couple matches that “matter” and then jetset off for wild and exotic football locales!  A little learning, a lot of fun, and you may just end up more edumuhcated than your soccer fan veteran friends.

Liftoff!

  1. Brazil vs. Costa Rica – FIFA World Cup

Welcome back to Group E!   All four teams have played a match now.  Serbia were the only to get a win, beating Noob-surrogates Costa Rica.  Brazil had a draw with the Swiss.

Costa Rica are the Noob choice for the Group Stage for the cheering.  They’re ranked almost right next to the U.S. worldwide, so seem a good surrogate for how ‘Muricuh might’ve fared.

There have been multiple arguments, with at least one broadcast live in their home country, between Costa Rica players since their first match in Russia.  Brazilian star Cutinho will likely be able to take advantage – or just win on having superior players.  They’re ranked #2 in the world for a reason.

There you have it, Noobites!   Just enough preview to get you through water cooler chat.  Now go, be free!  Noob will be reading more in-depth stuff on the interwebs in advance of the match.  Do likewise, should the Spirit move you.

RESULT:   Brazil   2-0    And with that, sadly Noob-fave Costa Rica is eliminated

Image result for water cooler chat funny

B.  Houston Dash vs. Portland Thorns – NWSL

*shakes fist at Houston*   Swamp City-builders!  You don’t build on marshland.  Noob and The Management stand against you.

OK, with that bit of oddity out of the way, second-to-last place Houston have taken advantage of three straight home matches to put some distance between themselves and Washington.  They’re even within striking distance of the top four and a postseason berth!  They beat Washington, surprised Seattle with a W, and then most impressively earned a draw against league champions-in-waiting North Carolina.

To compare, 5th-place Portland got dubbed 1-4 by NC.  In general, they are fading.  They need to find their offense again or will wind up the next Dash victim.

RESULT:   Portland   1-3

Image result for letter B swamp monster

 

 

Number B is here to scare some sense into you, Houstonians.

  1. Tampa Bay Rowdies vs. Penn FC – USL

For newer Noobites, let’s get real:   Often locale will trump “quality”.

TB and Penn are merely tied for 10thh in the Eastern Conference.   In Noob’s quest to himself learn and then in turn introduce you to soccer that could be most important to you, we’re going to get to know teams close to home.  Even when they’re potential also-rans in the second tier.

But hey — they’re only two points out of 8th and the league playoffs, so this is something of a key match!  If the match isn’t a draw, the mountain the loser has to climb gets really tough, even here at about the season halfway point.

The Rowdies are the better team, have the offense to perhaps make that move toward 8th.  At home, they should handle the team we knew last year as Harrisburg City.

RESULT:   Penn FC   0-2

  1. Arlesburgh vs. Brendam Harbor – Isle of Sodor Cup

Future Second Division Arlesburgh are the only team in Group D to net a win.  Any sort of result over one of the tourney-faves Brendam Harbor and they will be looking prime to advance to the knockout stage.

The Harbormen only managed a draw against D2 Lakeside in their first match.  They’ll be looking to break out the offense today and move toward the bracketed round.  They’re on the road for their second consecutive match, and so are slated to host their third and final one Arlesdale United.

Fun Fact:  Arlesburgh is perhaps the oldest settlement on Sodor.  As such, they have one of the largest supporter groups on Sodor – The Ancients.

RESULT:   Brendam Harbor  1-2

The fans dress like old people, stand entire matches.   The ones who look just middle-aged are, in fact, toddlers.

Image result for old people cheering

  1. Spartaks vs. RFS – Latvia Higher League

UEFA’s 41st-ranked league is strange in one regard:  About a dozen matches into the season, 1st and 5th place are separated by eight points.  5th and 6th are separated by twelve.

Spartaks are in 4th, but have played one less game than the two teams immediately ahead of them.  They are also the last team to beat #1 RFS.   The visitor’s today sport the best offense in the league.

Fun Fact:  FK Spartaks is closely identified as much or more with their Swimming School.

RESULT:   RFS   0-2

  1. Soccernet vs. FCI Levadia – Estonia FA Cup

The point here is just to know that the event is happening, really.  Both teams are from Tallinn The home side is from the 6th tier of Latvian domestic footyball.  FCI Levadia is one of the top-flight league powerhouses.

RESULT:   FCI Levadia   0-12       Words fail sometimes…

Image result for gif the more you know funny

  1. Than Quang Ninh vs. Sanna Khanh Hoa – Vietnam V.League 1

They’re all chasing Ha Noi in Vietnam for the only AFC Champions League slot the league receives.  They won’t be caught.  We’re still going!

#B hosts #4 in a very crowded part of the table.  Today’s visitors from Nha Trang have overachieved a little being even this high up.  Their negative goal differential gives them away.  TQN aren’t posers, might be the only team that could get a sniff at catching Ha Noi.

Fun Fact:   TQN have only two players who are not Vietnamese.  Both are Brazilian.

RESULT:   SKH   1-2

  1. EB / Streymur vs. KI – Faroe Islands Premier

Welcome to the track, Faroe Islands!   You’re an independent country that is somehow also part of the Kingdom of Denmark.  And we love you.  Despite or maybe even because you’re the 51st-ranked UEFA club of 55.

Unsurprisngly, Faroe Islands only get one team into the Champions League.  it’s a two-horse race, and KI are behind the league leaders by five in the table.  Matches against midtable teams like EB / Streymur are exactly the kind they can’t drop.  They likely won’t even, on the road.  KI is much better on both sides of the ball, can control this game no matter what sort of pace their hosts try for.

UnFun Fact:   In 2014, perhaps EB’s greatest player was killed when a bunch of boxes of frozen fish fell on him when he was on a trawler.

RESULT:   KI   0-2

Image result for gunnar zachariasen

 

 

Too sad and weird for Noob to have made this one up.

  1. Voorwaarts vs. Inter Moengotapoe – Suriname Topklasse

Inter is sort of the best of the rest in Suriname.  The title chase is down to three teams nearly two dozen games into their season.  I.M. are 4th.  Voorwaarts are 9th.

Despite the country being not far off the Brazilian coast, this is a Caribbean-cultured nation.  And they are in CONCACF, not CONMEBOL.  Noob welcomes you to the track!

Fun Fact:   S.V. Voorwaarts was founded in 1919 by schoolkids from the Hendrickschool.

RESULT:   2-2

  1. Fosa Juniors vs. Meava – Madagascar Champions League

It’s an avalanche of newcomers to the Track today!    Good luck on your season that’s just starting.

This league is divided into four Groups.  These two finished in the middle of their zones last season.  That’s all Noob’s got for you on this one.  But they’re on our radar now, and we’ll be back to learn more some Friday soon.

Fun Fact:  Fosa Juniors are from the region of Boeny in the northeast, pop. around 800,000.

RESULT:   Fosa Juniors   3-0

Image result for village straddling river

 

So long from scenic Arlesburgh, Isle of Sodor!

Be jealous of Noob’s eleveted B&B.