’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches (6/5-7) – ConIFA World Cup leads the way

Noob will dole out the Midweek featured matches piecemeal, day by day.  The footyball, it teases you, Noobites.  Tantalizes.

To learn a bit more about ConIFA, scroll down the last couple three posts.  Or visit them at ConIFA.org.

Tuesday

  1. Karpatalja vs. Cascadia – ConIFA World Cup

Karpatalja didn’t initially qualify for the event, but ended up replacing late dropout Feldivek (from Romania, representing the Hungarian minority there).  Yet they won their Group, finishing ahead of good Northern Cypress and Abkhazia sides.

Karpatalja also represent a Hungarian minority, but in the Ukraine.  They are not ranked in the posted top thirteen.

RESULT:   Karpatalja   3-1     Cascadia isn’t done playing though, as teams which lose get moved down into what they call “placement matches”.   Nice that they may the knockout stage in their first-ever trip to WC.

Image result for Karpatalja football

 

 

Gotta be honest – the upright animal with the tongue out is creeping Noob out.

B.  Louisville FC vs. New England Revolution – U.S. Open Cup

‘Muricuh’s FA Cup has reached its Fourth Round, where the MLS big boys come out to play.

These are single Knockout matches, and USL’s reigning champ had the good fortune to draw their Major League team on their own pitch.  Noob thinks they’ll still be doing well to earn a draw at home over 90’+, send it to penalties.  The winner here takes on the winner of the New York Derby next — NYCFC vs. Red Bulls.

RESULT:   Louisville   3-2      Upset City!

Image result for Letter B playing

Number B has also come out to play.

Sneaky Number B — are you for the Cavs or Warriors?

 

 

Wedesnday

  1. New York Red Bulls vs. NYCFC – U.S. Open Cup

The return of the New York derby!  It’s quite possible one of these two will win the whole shebang.  They currently rank #4 and #B in the MLS Eastern Conferences.

NYRB had been on fire until a loss at New England Revolution in their last league match.  NYCYC have been more up and down of late, will need to keep their defense buttoned down to have a shot.  It’s been a bit suspect at times this year.

RESULT:   NYRB   4-0

  1. Houston Dynamo vs. NTX Rayados – U.S. Open Cup

Welcome back to the Track, NTX!   This is the one true remaining minnow left in the tournament, an amateur team out of the North Texas Premier League.

To get this far, NTX have beaten a couple of tier-four teams and one from the USL (the admittedly awful OKC energy).  Today, obviously, they take a big step up in competition.

Houston has lost two league matches in a row, and one to the woeful Impact from Montreal.  Still, the Rayados would be doing well to keep this within two goals.

RESULT:   HOU   5-0      NTX kept the match scoreless for the first half

 

Rayados celebrate their first goal against Wichita in the Third Round

  1. The Strongest vs. Jorge Wilstermann – Bolivia Premier

Es deja vú toda de neuvo.  The Apertura (first half-season) Final of home and away matches between these two ended in a 3-3 aggregate draw.  Instead of penalty kicks, they’re playing again!

This final Final match will be held at a neutral site, in Sucre.  JW were the stronger team (pun intended) during the regular season.  Hard not to see them as the favorite here.

RESULT:   JW   2-2  /  2-3  PK      Congrats to the champs!

  1. Johor Darul Ta’zim vs. Pahang – Malaysia Super League

A few days ago, we featured a 1-2 match from this league.  JDT were and are #1.  It was written here that then-#B Perak had been overachieving, and it is proving to be true.  It was also posted that Pahang were the real second-best team in the league, and now they’re there.  What Noobstradamus sees comes to pass, never doubt, heathen Noobites!

Still, no one scores on Johur.  They’re not losing at home to anyone.

RESULT:   JDT   1-0

Image result for noobstradamus

 

A Malaysian proverb says one should “not use an axe to embroider“.

I…lost my train of thought.  This doesn’t seem soccer-relevant now.  

 

Thursday

  1. USA vs. China – women’s friendly

‘Muricuh!!   #1!  USA!  Too many exclamation points!  The USWNT is already in for the 2019 WC by virtue of representing the host nation.

China are ranked #17 in the world, are about the 5th-best in Asia.  By finishing in the top three of the 2014 Asia Cup, they’ve already gained a berth for the final World Cup qualifying stage of the current version.  (Asia Cup is the WC qualifying determiner there.)   (9:00 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   USA   1-0

  1. Northern Cyprus vs. Padania – ConIFA World Cup

Semifinal action!  Northern Cyprus lambasted the host team – Barawa – 8-0 last round.  Padania topped Panjab 2-0.  Peruse posts from the last few days to learn more about this event, or hit ConIFA.org.

RESULT:   Northern Cyprus   3-2

Funny banana man in Northern Cypress restaurant is not worried about the #MeToo movement.  He’s gonna dance with whomever.

9.  Wales vs. Bosnia and Herzegovina – women’s World Cup qualification (UEFA)

This tournament is in its second Group Stage.  35 teams have been divided into seven pods of five each.  They will play double round-robins in each.  The Group winners make the WC, while the top four second-best finishers will have a playoff for one more berth.

Wales is FIFA-ranked #34.  They’re #B in their Group, just two points behind England with three matches to play.  B&H are #57, are far enough back that they cannot win the Group.  They could still make second, but it’s going to require quite the run.

RESULT:   Wales   1-0

  1. England vs. Costa Rica – friendly

#13 hosts #25 in the World as they both prepare for World Cup.  England’s national team hasn’t lost in nearly a year, riding the back of their defense.  Still, for some reason, many a pundit doesn’t think they’ll make it out of the Group Stage in Russia.

Costa Rica has recently beaten Scotland and Northern Ireland, but lost to Tunisia in between.   They’re kinda-sorta Noob’s team to cheer for with the U.S. not in it.  Muricuhns are so torn on whether or not to root for rival Mexico, so why not the next-best CONCACAF side?   (3:00 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   England   2-0

Image result for Leeds England weirdos

 

 

 

So long from Leeds, West Yorkshire, England!

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Relegation Monday (5/7) – suckitude powers, engage!

Monday, Noob will not fight you.  Never have, never will.  Instead, I embrace your dark side.

Join me, Noobites, in getting to know some teams that are about to get Departed from their current league.  May they rest in peace in lower leagues.

But first, three non-Relegation matches of varying import —

  1. Penn FC vs. Ottawa Fury – USL

If the U.S. had promotion/relegation, these two would be candidates to go down to the third tier.

Penn FC are the previously-named Harrisburg City Islanders.  Rebranding, meh.  Spend time scouting some players who can score instead.  (Five goals in seven games)   You’re in 13th.

Ottawa is one of the NASL clubs that have moved over this season from that currently non-operational league.  They stunk there, they stink in USL.  Last place.  They’re offense makes Penn’s look hyoooooj.  (Two goals in six games)

So why Track it?   Honestly?  Because it’s the only U.S. match at either of the top two levels today.  Muricuh!

Noobstradamus Sees:   Penn 1-0, in front of a crowd of dozens.  Rebranding, haha.

RESULT:   Ottawa   0-1   Game-winner scored in the 87′

Image result for muricuh

 

 

Soooo much Muricuh it’s blinding.

B.  Al-Sadd vs. Al Ahli – AFC Champions League

The Group Stage survivors now begin the knockout Round of 16.

Al-Sadd finished #B in their Group.  They also finished #B in Qatar’s top-flight league (#3-ranked in Asia) and won the nation’s FA Cup.  Al Ahli finished #B in the Saudi Premier (#7-ranked).

Noobstradamus Sees:   2-2     Al Ahli are better, but Al-Sadd has been scoring like on a pinball machine.

RESULT:   Al-Sadd   2-1

Image result for letter B pinball

 

 

Number B, retro-cool

  1. Besiktas vs. Kayserispor – Turkey Super League

Europe’s most dramatic league finish is in Turkey.  The top three clubs are separated by just three points.

#4 Besiktas have played one fewer matches than the leaders, can move within a point of #B/#3 with a win today.  #8 Kayserispor have overachieved to even be that high in the table.

Noobstradamus Sees:  The home Black Eagles winning 3-1.

RESULT:   Besiktas   2-0

  1. Anzhi Makhachkala vs. FK Akhmat – Russia Premier

Makhachkala are in a precarious position with just one league match to play.

In this 16-team league, they are tied for 14th (ahead on GD).  The bottom two will be automatically relegated.  The next two play in a Relegation Playoff for a chance to stay in Premier.

Noobstradamus Sees:   #11 Akhmat getting the road win, 1-2.  The hosts can’t defend worth a lick.

RESULT:   Akhmat   0-2

Fun Fact:  Anhzi means “pearl” in a somewhat local Turkic language

Image result for defenseless funny

 

 

Speaking of no defense…

  1. Pacos de Ferreira vs. Rio Ave – Primeira Liga

It’s a party at the bottom of Portugal’s top-flight table– there’s a three-way tie for last!  PdF have the best chance of avoiding The Boot though, as they have two matches to play.  Their peers are down to just one.

The bad news is that Rio Ave is #5 in the league, play the best defense outside of the league’s runaway top four.

Noobstradamus Sees:  Rio Ave  0-2

RESULT:   0-0

Fun Fact:  PdF are “the Beavers”.

  1. Sepsi OSK vs. Concordia Chiajna – Romania Liga I

Chiajna are in third-to-last place.  Whichever club finishes in that spot will play the 3rd-place team from Liga II for the right to be in Liga I next season.  Sepsi are two points up the table.   This league has several matches still to play, and things at the bottom are tight.

Noobstradamus Sees:   Chiajna 0-2    Sepsi returns to their woeful offense-ways after a stretch of decent football.

RESULT:   Chiajna   0-2    See, Noobstradamus sees all!  Well, some.  A little…

Fun Fact:  Chiajna is really three villages, with a combined pop. of less than 9000.

Image result for chiajna monastery

 

 

 

Chiajna Monastery

  1. Etar vs. Pirin Blagoevgrad – Bulgaria First Pro League

Bulgaria’s Relegation system is so unnecessarily drawn out.  Noob started to spell it all out here, but it was dizzying.

Here’s the need-to-know.  The worst four teams now play in a bracketed Relegation Playoff.  these are two of those.  They will be joined in the end by the #B and #3 Liga II teams.  Win two games, you’re saved.  Otherwise, demoted.

Noobstradamus Sees:  Stars, and a spinning room.  Bulgaria, clean this crap up.

RESULT:   Etar   2-1

Fun Fact:   No Fun Fact for you, Bulgaria!  Clean.  This.  Up.

  1. Sirius vs. Orebro – Sweden Allsvenskanliga

This summer league is just beginning.  Still, Sirius is near the bottom, trying to ramp up their league-worst offense.  Orebro are in 5th, one of three still-undefeated teams.

Noobstradamus Sees:   Orebro 0-2

RESULT:   Orebro   2-4

Fun Fact:  IK Sirius is also the name of a bandy club, bandy being basically ice hockey, but with a ball.   Noob’s sirius.

Image result for that's just awful

  1. Banfield vs. Chacarita Juniors – Argentina Premier

All four sides to be Relegated here are already determined.  So long “Undertakers”.  What a weird nickname, Chacarita.  (6:00 PM Eastern, TyC Sports International)

Noobstrdamus Sees:   0-0    Banfield are below average themselves.

Fun Fact:  The shortest word you can play in Scrabble using all the letters in “Chacarita” is “tachycardia”.

RESULT:   Banfield   2-1

  1. Johor Darul Ta’zim II vs. Sarawak FA – Indonesia Premier

They’re only about ten games into the season, but JDT II have got to start scoring if they’re going to get their first win of the year.  Sarawak are mid-table.

Noobstradamus Sees:  …you surprised to find out that despite the “Premier” name, this is not Malaysia’s top league!  That would be their “Super League”.  This doubles as the Fun Fact.

RESULT:   JDT2   2-0

Image result for johor bahru malaysia funny

 

 

 

So long, from Johor Bahru, Indonesia!