Tag: Leipaja

’10 to Track’ Relegation Monday soccer matches – embrace the Suckitude to start your week

After weekends schedules thick which matches of much importance, Mondays’ tend to run a little lighter.

Here at Noob, we embrace the dark side of Monday by celebrating and getting to know some clubs that are on the verge of being Booted from their current league homes for poor performance.

But first, happier fare —

  1. Paris Saint-Germain vs. Atletico Madrid – International Champions Cup

Whatever PSG may have hoping to see out of starters or reserves in this tournament of exhibitions, essentially, they can’t be seeing it.  They lost 1-3 to Bayern Munich and 1-5 to Arsenal, which had a disappointing 2017 league campaign.

This will be Atletico’s second match of the three they all will play.  For comparison, they beat Arsenal 1-1 on penalties.  Today’s match will be at Singapore’s newish National Stadium.   (7:30 AM, ESPNU)

RESULT:   PSG   3-2

B.  Riga FC vs. RFS – Latvia Higher League

Noob likes to include happy league matches where he can find it.  I mean non-Relegation matches of import.  And if we need to scan down to the 42nd-ranked league In Europe, we’re there.  Hey. they’re playing.

Here. tied-for-3rd hosts 1st.  RFS are six points up on the pack, looking good for the league’s only Champions League berth in 2019.  They also fight over two Europa league invites.  Riga would love to get any kind of result today, hope to keep pace with Leipaja.  They’ll do so with their usual tactic of trying to take the air out of the ball, keep the score low.

RESULT:   Riga FC   1-0

Image result for latvian alphabet

 

In its quest to displace Number Two in lists, Number B enlists alphabets of the world for support.

Latvian alphabet.  Check.

 

 

And now, the Matches of Suckit000000000d!

  1. Trelleborgs FF vs. Hammarby – Sweden Allsvenskanliga

This match in UEFA’s #22-ranked league is very important for both clubs, though for very different reasons.

Hammarby are tied for #B in the table, and only one club will get into the next Champions League.  They trail undefeated AIK by six points.  Even at just halfway through the season, there is no margin for error here.  AIK won’t be collapsing anytime soon.

Trelleborgs might only be in 14th place because they’ve played 1-2 fewer games than other clubs.  But since a win today is unlikely, their stay in this slot in the table is.  It’s third-to-last.  The team that finishes in this position will have a Relegation playoff with a Superettan (second-division) team.

Fun Fact (Though Maybe Not For Them):  TTF aren’t a very popular club nationally, being thought of as rather rural.  They also play a sometimes-unpopular style, not trying to score much, focusing on stout defense.

RESULT:   Hammarby   1-3

  1. TPS vs. Ilves – Finland Veikkausliga

Not far below average in the continental league rankings we find Finland (#36).

At second-to-last, TPS are also in a Relegation Playoff slot in the table.  Neither of these clubs plays much offense.  They’re the only two teams in the league that don’t average even a goal per match.  Noob will Track it, but sure wouldn’t pick this one to watch.  Ilves is in 7th.

RESULT:   Ilves   1-3

Image result for turku finland

 

 

Racing ships in Turku, Finland – home of TPS

  1. Keflavik vs. Briedablik – Iceland Urvalsdield

Catching the theme?  The “big” Euro leagues will be starting soon enough, but these northern ones need to finish up before fall weather sets in.  This league is #40 in UEFA.

Keflavik still has yet to win a game.  They’re dropping a division in a couple months and that’s just all there is to it.  They make the Finnish teams above look like offensive juggernauts.  Briedbalik are tied for #B and just three points out of 1st.

Fun Fact:   Keflavik the town produced many musicians during the 1960’s and 70’s, and so became known as “Beatle Town”.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Leones vs. Alianza Petrolera – Columbia Premier A

This league uses a multi-year points system to determine who gets The Boot annually.   Things are looking grim for Leones, last in that table.  They finished last in the Apertura (first half-season), too.  Still,

Noob gives thinks they’re an even match at home against A.P., which finished just 15th.   If there’s much offense, though, it will be all Petrolera.

RESULT:   A.P.   0-1

Image result for Bitagui

 

 

Fun Fact:  Itagui – home of Leones – is believed to be named for an indigenous tribal chief who was named “Bitagui”.

  1. 3 de Febrero vs. Luqueno – Paraguay Premier

The Fighting Februari…ans… are in last in their leagues Relegation table as well.  In a rare instance, though, Noob’s actually favoring them in a match.  3dF finished in last in the Apertura table, but their guests today were only two slots higher.  Looking for a Monday miracle here!

Interesting Strong Rumor:   CA3F’s home of Cuidad del Este is home to many Asian immigrants.  Some Lebanese ones are thought to be heavily involved in trafficking cocaine money to Hezbollah.

RESULT:   Luqueno   0-2

  1. PS TIRA vs. Persib Bandung – Indonesia Liga 1

PS TIRA are tied for last in Asia’s 27th-ranked league.  Yet they’re only a point from possibly daylight.   Today’s not the day to look for a Miracle out of them, even at home.  Bandung lead the league.  This is a battle of the best and worst defenses in the country.

RESULT:   Bandung   2-3

PS TIRA logo.png

 

Fun Fact:  PS TIRA are nicknamed “Army” and “Young Warriors”, as the club was formed by a merger with the National Armed Forces team and another club.

  1. Kondzo vs. JS Talangai – Congo Ligue 1

This is at most, Noob believes, only the second time we’ve Tracked a match from the Republic!  Theirs is the 10th-ranked domestic league in Africa.

That isn’t due to either of these teams, really, and certainly not tied-for last place Kondzo.  Two teams will get demoted from this bunch.  There’s one team down on their level, but all three are losing ground fast on the rest of the pack.  Talangai are in just in 10th, so it’s hardly unthinkable Kondzo starts their push for daylight today.

Fun Fact:   Kondzo are from the capital, Brazzaville.  It is directly across a river from Kinshasa, the capital of DR Congo.  This is the only place the world where capital cities are positioned so.

  1. Persiwa vs. PSS Sleman – Indonesia Liga 2

I know, Noob missed Indonesia, too – let’s double dip!

Persiwa is in last place.  On paper, they may actually be better than four teams ahead of them in the table.  Have to win some close ones.  That will be a tall order against the #B team in the league.  Sleman only concedes a goal about every other game on average.

RESULT:   Sleman   0-1

Image result for wamena papua

 

 

So long from the Papua highlands of Wamena, home of Persiwa!

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Globetrotting Friday (5/11) – from MLS to around the planet!

TGIGF!

Please keep your trays in the upright and locked position.  Your about to jet off with Noob on our weekly football adventure!  Buckle up.  It will get weird.    Again.

  1. Vancouver Whitecaps vs. Houston Dynamo – MLS

Everyone in the Western Conference is chasing KC and LAFC. The Whitecaps so far are the best of the rest.  For #6 Houston to eke out a road win, look for Argentinian national midfielder Tomas Martinez to need a big game.   (10:30 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 6)

Noobstradamus Sees:   Houston 2-1, with a goal and assist for Martinez

RESULT:   2-2     Martinez did get a goal.  Houston scored the go-ahead goal in 89′ and then Vancouver tied it right back up at 90′!

Image result for tomas martinez dynamo funny

 

And welcome to the Track, Tomas.

B.  Pittsburgh Riverhounds vs. Indy Eleven – USL

Your division two-undercard is also a #3 versus #6.  This is likely to be a defensive slog, er, artistic performance by both sides.

Noobstrdamus Sees:  Pittsburgh’s surprising undefeated streak continuing as they claim 1st place.  They have yet to lose all season.

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for letter B goofy

 

 

Noob…doesn’t see how going incognito has a bird is relevant, Number B.

  1. Derby County vs. Fulham – English Championship

Wolverhampton and Cardiff City finished in the top two spots in England’s second division, earning automatic promotion to Premier League next season.  Now it’s time for the next four in the table to battle for the third and final spot.

#6 Derby Co. has bounced back from a mostly-catastrophic April (three straight losses) to not lose in their last three.  Fulham lost their last match – one that didn’t matter to them in the table – and before that last lost in early January.

Noobstradamus Sees:   The allure of something like a quarter billion pounds in added Premier League revenue being a strong, strong motivator.  Derby Co. overcomes a deficit at home, wins the first leg of this quarterfinal 3-2.

RESULT:   Derby Co.   1-0

  1. Guingamp vs. Marseille – Ligue 1

Noob once had a nasty case of Guingamp on his left foot.  That stuff will eat the flesh right to the bone if you’re not careful!

The Management here, apologizing once again for the randomly-non sequitur ramblings of Noob.  Is this something Farside comic-ish related to a foot disease like necrotizing fasciitis?

I like dogs.   I forget math sometimes.

Weirdo.  Anyway, this match is important because Marseille are one point outside of 3rd place and the league’s last CL berth with two league matches to go.  Don’t make me do your job, Noobstra-dumbass.

RESULT:   3-3     Marseille went down to ten men due to a red card at 66′.  Guingamp scored the go-ahead at 70′, but Marseille tied it back up at 81′.

  1. Reims vs. Nimes – Ligue 2

Where Noob deems nothing is as it seems.  *Noob beams*.

What the actual f– um, fruit?  The Management wonders if we need to talk to Human Resources.  #1 and #2, er, “#B” in France’s second division.

RESULT:   2-2    And that ends the regular season in France’s second division!  These two are promoted for next year to Ligue 1.  Next come the playoffs for the next three teams in the table to see which other club moves up.

  1. Antalyaspor vs. Istanbul Basaksehir – Turkey Super Lig

Turkey’s clubs have just two matches each to go, and nothing is decided at the table’s top.  Istanbul Basaksehir is tied for #B (3rd on tiebreaker though), trailing #1 Galatasaray by three and leading Besiktas by just one in the standings.

This is definitely a Hiccup Watch match.  Antalyaspor are in 12th and have done nothing against any of the top four clubs this season.  But anything can happen on the road, and I.B. cannot afford a Hiccup here.   (1:00 PM, beIN Sports En Español)

Noobstradamus Sees:   Istanbul eking this one out.  They’re offense is the weakest of the four top teams, but Antalyaspor can’t stop a beach ball generally.   I.B. 1-3, with a the third being a meaningless late one.

RESULT:   I.B.   0-2

Image result for turkey club sandwich

 

Yup.  Turkey club on top of a table.

No apologies.

  1. Erzurum BB vs. Umraniyespor – Turkey First League

Welcome to the Track, Turkey second division!   Just like in England’s second tier, the top two get auto-promoted, while the next four duke it our for a third slot moving up.  These two finished #5 and #4, respectively.  Both have been rolling.

Noobstradamis Sees:  …Erzurum’s freaky two-headed bird crest emblem.  Not a vision, just a plain old nightmare.  Umraniyespor wins 1-8.  Maybe.

RESULT:  EBB   4-3

Büyükşehir Belediye Erzurumspor logo.png

 

  1. Leipaja vs. RFS – Latvia Higher League

it’s very early in this European summer league, where these two are #1 and #3, and are tied for the largest GD so far (+10).  Let’s have a shootout!

Noobstradamus Sees:   Leipaja 4-3

RESULT:   RFS   3-5

  1. Ismaily vs. Al Masry – Egypt Premier League

Perennial powerhouse Al Ahly has already claimed the title, but this league gets two berths into the next CAF Champions League.  #B Ismaily is up on #3 Al Masry by five in the table, but this is the host team’s last match of the season.  Al Masry have one more after this in which to earn points.

Noobstradamus Sees:   …that Ismaily hasn’t lost since February.  it will be hard-fought by Al Masry, but the final will be 2-2, securing ismaily’s CL invite.

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Al-Jazeera vs. Al-Wehdat – Jordan Premier

Let’s end the Track with a celebratory congrats to Al-Wehdat, you’re 2017-18 Jordanian champs!  This is the last match of the season for these two.  Al-Wehdat are tied for #B and Noob presumes a Confederations Cup slot (think: Europa League for Africa).

Noobstradamus Sees:  ….a grand party for Al-Wehdat!

RESULT:   Al-Wehdat   0-4

Image result for amman jordan

 

And so long from Amman, Jordan!