Tag: Liga MX Femenil

’10 to Track’ match previews for weekend 1/19-20 – call Noob “Mr. CONCACAF”

Noob’s return to Tracking important matches for rolls on!

This weekend, trying out something new.

Image result for CONCACAF

What follows are the most important matches from the top 20 leagues in CONCACAF.

Enjoy, as we get to know leagues and clubs from all over our local federation.

1. UANL Tigres vs. Cruz Azul – Liga MX
  • CONCACAF league rank:        they don’t do those, but MX is #1
  • Table positions:                        Apertura #5, #2
  • Stakes:                                           top 8 make the Liguilla
  • Time of season:                         Clausura just starting

For the rawest of Noobites, Mexico divides its football year into two separate tournaments – Apertura and Clausura. They’re just a game into the Clausura, so let’s look at the year’s first half:

Cruz Azul were the regular season champs! But they lost in the Liguilla (postseason tournament) final to #B CF America. They sported the best defense in the league, should be a contender once again.

UANL finished in 6th, also qualifying for the Liguilla. Their goal differential was second best in the league, but it wasn’t bad luck that kept them from a higher table position. They struggled against top competition, if often losing close at least. And they ran up scores against lesser foes. They’ll need to figure out how to get more scoring versus the real contenders if they want to join their ranks.

RESULT:   Cruz Azul   0-1

B. Atlas vs. Guadalajara – Liga MX Femenil
  • CONCACAF league rank:             hmmm…well, nowhere near as good as U.S.
  • Table positions:                             Apertura #4, #B in Group 2
  • Stakes:                                               top four from each Group make the Liguilla
  • Time of season:                             Clausura just starting

Mexico’s professional women’s league has their season divided the same as the men’s side. In this league also they are just starting the Clausura.

Unlike the men’s side, the women’s league is divided into two Groups of nine clubs each. Top four from each make the Liguilla, and these two were both in it. These two were the best defensive teams from their Group. They sported the best two defense in the league. Both will have to show they can score a lot more in order to challenge Group champs UNAL.

RESULT:        this match seems to have not been played;  an update will follow if more info becomes available

 

Image result for image redacted

 

The Number B image originally shown here was redacted.

I blame the agents of worn-out Number Two.

3. Oaxaca vs. Sonora – Ascenso MX
  • CONCACAF League rank:           might be third-best
  • Table positions:                             Apertura #6, #4
  • Stakes:                                               top 8 make the liguilla
  • Time of season:                             Clausura just starting

Previously, Noob has paid little attention to second-tier Mexican football. And while I may not spend a lot of type on it, as perhaps the third-best league in the region, we’ll get to know it a little.

There were just two or three teams in real contention for the regular season Apertura title. But that liguilla is just as shiny a trophy, and it was the #5 seed that won it. Oaxaca’s got the goal-stopping ability to make a push higher in the table here in the Clausura. Sonora’s got to win some close games this go-round or they won’t.

It’s worth noting, kind of sadly, that these clubs aren’t really offered a chance at Promotion into Liga MX. The overall winner is technically eligible, but there are safeguards in place so the last place Liga team can pay a bunch of money to stay in the top flite.

Fun Fact:   Oaxaca’s nickname – The Alebrijes – is a term for art depictions of fantastical creatures.   The form and term comes from artist Pedro Linares.  After falling ill, he had dreams of unreal animals and drew them upon waking.

RESULT:   Sonora   0-1

The rest are Caribbean region matches.  Two quick things:

  • I assume a rough correlation between a national team’s official ranking and the country’s domestic league strength.  I’ve never found formal rankings for the latter.
  • Here’s how the CFU (Cariibbean Football Union) qualifies teams for CONCACAF Champions League and CONCACAF League (which is itself a pathway to CL):

Image result for caribbean club championship

 

This year, countries with professional and semi-professional leagues can send two teams to the new Caribbean Club Championship.

 


Image result for caribbean club shield

Other countries’ leagues can send their winners to the second-tier Caribbean Club Shield tournament.

 

The particulars of how each event qualifies teams to the CL and CONCACAF League can wait for another day.

4. Mount Pleasant vs. Portmore United – Jamaica National Premier
  • CONCACAF league rank:                about #6*
  • Table positions:                               #5, #1
  • Stakes:                                                  top six make league playoffs
  •                                                                  top two get byes
  •                                                                  Caribbean Club Championship berths
  • Time of Season:                                unsure!

Last year, this 12-team, league played a double round robin. This year, they’ve just reached that point and are playing on! But it’s not the playoffs.

Currently, this league is seeing a three-horse race for those top two spots. Portmore – which made the Caribbean Club Championships last year – have a narrow lead, but their defense is suspect. Fortunately for them, Mount Pleasant is a small-ball team – don’t score much, don’t concede many.

RESULT:   1-1

Mount Pleasant Football Academy Logo.png

 

Noob is looking for comments on what the interjection means.   Actual part of the Academy crest.

Here or @SoccerNoobUSA on Twitter

5. Agoaudo vs. Kourou – French Guiana Division d’Honneur
  • CONCACAF league rank:               top 15
  • Table positions:                              #1, #6
  • Stakes:                                                 Caribbean Club Shield berths
  • Time of season:                               approaching halfway

French Guiana could send two teams for the Caribbean Club Shield, but is not.  Maybe after this season.

Agoaudo are undefeated, lead the next team in the table by nine points. That’s not quite as big a gap as it looks like at first glance. This league awards four points for a win, two for a draw, and one for just showing up. Second-best offense in the league, runaway best D.

Kouro are merely midtable. Noob’s not certain they have the D to maintain a top-half finish in this 12-team league.

Fun Fact:   Nearby Agoaudo’s home of Apatou is the Guiana Amazonian Park.  Suriname is a French department (state, more or less), and this park is the largest French national park.

6. Moulien vs. USBM – Guadeloupe Division d’Honneur
  • CONCACAF league rank:        top 15
  • Table positions:                        #1, #3
  • Stakes:                                           Caribbean Club Shield
  • Time of season:                         halfway

Guadeloupe are sending 2017-18 their champs – Moulien – to the Club Shield, unlike French Guiana. That same club leads the league this year, too, but what a race it looks like so far! They lead the next team in the table by just a point, and three other clubs are within just five points.

Moulien will try to keep the score low. Not that they can’t score well themselves, but #3 (and likely true top threat for the title) USBM prefer a wide-open style themselves, and would play it far better.

RESULT:   USBM   0-3              There’s your new league #1!    Three teams trail by just a single point in the table.

Image result for Moulien

 

 

As a former radio dj, just thought this was cool.

7. St. Paul’s vs. Village Superstars – St. Kitts and Nevis Super League
  • CONCACAF league rank:                 top 20
  • Table positions:                                 #3, #1
  • Stakes:                                                   top 4 make league playoffs
  •                                                                   Caribbean Club Shield berths
  • Time of Season:                                 over 1/3 done

Village Superstars are the defending champions, will play Club Shield.   They lead the league this year as well, but their hosts today and Newtown United are going to both be there ’til the end.

These two sport excellent offenses, but lead the league in D.  It will be interesting to see what sort of pace St. Paul’s will try and dictate at home.

Fun Fact:  St. Paul’s are based out of the town of that name, but play their games in the national capital, Basseterre

RESULT:   1-1

8. Interwillemstad vs. UNDEBA – Curacao Sekshon Paga
  • CONCACAF league rank:        top 20
  • Table positions:                        #6, #B
  • Stakes:                                          top 6 make league  playoffs
  •                                                          Caribbean Club Shield berths
  • Time of season:                        earlyish

The season looks to only be 18 matches long here in the former Netherlands Antilles. So even at seven matches in, things are looking serious. Unbeaten Scherpenheuvel have opened up a five point lead over UNDEBA. But this is a good matchup for the visitors. They score goals like crazy, but play about no defense. But scoring is exactly where Inter struggles.

Curacao will host the Club Shield.   Jong Holland are the defending champs here, but deep down the table this season.

RESULT:   Inter   2-1        The winners climb into a three-way tie for 4th place.    The losers fall into a tie for #B in the table, six points behind the league leaders.

Image result for inter willemstad 2018-19

9. West United vs. Robin Hood – Suriname Topklasse
  • CONCACAF league rank:       top 20
  • Table positions:                      #8, #B
  • Stakes:                                         Caribbean Club Shield berths
  • Time of season:                       earlyish

Robin Hood are the defending champs, representing the league in the second-tier Club Shield tournament. They are one of three still undefeated teams here in 2018-19. They trail Leo Victor by four in the table.

The real question in this league would seem to be will Inter Moengotapoe (3rd place) be able to keep pace? So far offensive numbers say no. But it’s early. They should beat midtable West Utd. in their own house by a couple today.

Fun Fact:  West Utd. are from the Coronie District, of which the four towns have fewer than 4,000 people.

RESULT:   Robin Hood   2-4

10. Grenades vs. Parham – Antigua and Barbuda Premier
  • CONCACAF league rank:         top 20
  • Table positions:                         #3, #5
  • Stakes:                                            Caribbean Club Shield berths
  • Time of season:                          halfway

It may just be the halfway point, but there are also just nine match days remaining. Parham are just five out of the lead, but it feels like they have too many clubs to leapfrog to make a title run.

Grenades are just three back of the defending champs – Hoppers – and have the defense to stay in the race. This could be a tricky home game though. Parham are something of a traditional power here.

RESULT:   Grenades   1-0       Grenades  climb to #B, Parham slip to 6th.

Image result for Antigua Recreation ground

 

So long from the Antigua Recreation Ground in St. John’s, home of Grenades F.C.!

Capacity:  12,000

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition (12/4-6) soccer match previews – Copa Argentina Final completes our Track

The Midweek Edition now stands complete at ten.   There was just one match needed for Thursday to complete the set.

Tuesday and Wednesday’s matches and results now follow further down.

Please consider following Noob on Twitter @SoccerNoobUSA.com.  Inquire for details on how to possibly join footyball discussions with cool cats on Bros Talking Soccer’s new Slack.   And click an ad , if you are so inclined.  Some of the stuff is even soccer-related!

Back again tomorrow for Globetrotting Friday!

Thursday

10. Rosario Central vs. Gimnasia LP – Copa Argentina

The Final! And this match is a one-off in Mendoza – a neutral location. Noob is continually surprised that outside Europe in particular that such otherwise weak-seeming teams advance to title matches. Rosario are in 14th of 28 Primera league teams and Gimnasia in 21st. The winner gets much more than a few pesos and a trophy. There’s a qualification to the next Copa Libertadores up for grabs!

Trying to get excited for this one, but it may be tough to watch. Rosario doesn’t score much, and they look like an offensive juggernaut compared to Gimnasia. Catch this one at 7:10 PM Eastern on TyC Sports International if you dare. And have a deep enough satellite TV package.

RESULT:   Rosario   1-1  /  4-1 PK’s        All hail the Argentine champs!

Image result for Mendoza argentina weirdSo long from Mendoza!

At least you can stay in a cool vineyard “hotel” when visiting.

 

Wednesday

3. Monterrey vs. Cruz Azul – Liga MX

Semifinals time in the Apertura (first half-season) Liguilla (playoffs)!

This this Round will also feature two-legged ties, same as the Quarters did. Regular season #1 Cruz Azul gets the honor of hosting the second leg of the home-and-away series, which means they open in Monterrey today.

Cruz Azul haven’t lost since October 20. They’d won five straight matches until finishing off their quarterfinal draw with a 1-1 draw last time out. Plenty of teams score as much or more than C.A., but none defend like them (just 13 goals given up in the 17-match regular season).

Monterrey haven’t proven to be quite as good on either side of the ball. But as one would imagine, they’re not that far off C.A.’s pace, given that they made the playoffs. They’ve not lost in five matches. But they’ve not beaten Cruz Azul in nine consecutive tries.

RESULT:   Monterrey   1-0                 Make that once in their last ten tries!

4. Manchester United vs. Arsenal – English Premier League

Arsenal just had a big, God-ordained win in the North London derby. After doing the Lord’s work in defeating named-for-an-historical-traitor (Harry Percy) Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur, can they get pumped up again for Man Utd.?

Man Utd have had a dismal year compared to expectations, the usual-title contenders wallowing in 8th place right now. They haven’t won a league match in a month. None of this has been a fluke, either, as they’re struggling on both sides of the ball. For this team to rise again, the great goalkeeper David de Gea is going to need to lead the way. Defense has been even weaker than offense on the season.

Arsenal are in 4th, which is the number of clubs EPL will qualify for the next Champions League. One would point out their offense as the best around if it weren’t for league #1 Man City blowing everyone out of the water in that department. Defense has been spotty for them, too, at least compared to other table-top clubs. German international Bernd Lemo has decidedly been the weak link. Looking for a shootout today.   (3:00 PM Eastern, NBCSN)

RESULT:   2-2

Image result for Sir Topham Hatt happy

 

Sir Topham Hatt cannot be cross so soon after a Hotspur loss.

5. Atletico Junior vs. Atletico PR – Copa Sudamericana

The Final! And crap on a cracker, Noob would’nt have been passing on covering this event had I not had bad info stuck in my head.

This tournament is the equivalent of Europa League, a tournament below the level of Champions League – or, in South America – Copa Libertadores. Noob did not think the winner of Sudamericana automatically qualified for the following years Libertadores, but they do. And that’s some high stakes.

Columbia’s Junior started in the this year’s Libertadores. After finishing 3rd place in their pod in the Group Stage there, they were dropped into this event. They’ve been very strong in their domestic league statistically, yet are just in 6th place right now. Trouble closing out the close matches, anyone?

Atletico Paranaense only qualified for this event, were not dropped down from following a Libertadores round. They just finished the Brazilian season one spot (7th) out of qualifying for the next Libertadores already.

Based on general knowledge of the pecking order of domestic leagues in South America and Elo ratings from footballdatabase.com, it seems fair to say Junior are an even match at best at home today.

RESULT:   1-1

6. Zamora vs. Deportivo Lara – Venezuela Premier

This is the second leg of the Serie Final, which pits the playoff champions from the Apertura and Clausura stages of the season against one another. The first match was played at Lara and ended in a 1-1 draw.

If one is interested in a couple extra details, scroll down to the Leg One match preview from 12/2. Suffice it to say here and now that Zamora are the hotter team the second half of the year and most definitely favored today at home.

RESULT:   Zamora   4-1          2018 Venezuelan chamPEEENS will dance with that sexy disco robot from the future of 1984

Winners get to party at KirovBar, Barinas (home of Zamora FC) for disco and with this guy….thing!

7. Ulsan Hyundai vs. Daegu FC – (South) Korean FA Cup

The Final! First leg, anyway. Second one will be at Daegu. In Europe, FA Cup winners typically just qualify for the secondary Europa League tournament. Here, the winner not only qualifies for the next AFC Champions League, they’ll enter at the Group Stage (the latest any team enters).

Ulsan finished the K League 1 in third place. That’s just high enough to net them an AFC CL berth, but not as late as the Group Stage. They have to play their way into that as things stand now, via a “playoff round”.

Daegu finished just 7th, didn’t qualify for squat. They’re not nearly as good on either side of the ball as Ulsan, but particularly trail them in goal-scoring.

That said, Daegu haven’t lost in any of their last seven matches across all competitions. They enter vastly hotter than Ulsan. Noob thinks Daegu are easily an even match for Ulsan, maybe even should be favored, given all the momentum they have.

RESULT:   Daegu   1-2            #7 in the league, but #1 in our FA Cup-hearts!   

8. Northeast United vs. Bengaluru – India Super League

Reminder: India has two top-flite leagues. The other is the I-League. ISL is the one that does not have promotion/relegation. It was created under more of an MLS-like franchise model to promote soccer in the country. They do not qualify teams into international competition like AFC Champions League.

But that doesn’t mean this #B-#1 matchup is any less shiny and alluring! Top four will make the league playoffs. Bengalaru are still undefeated eight matches into the season. They have a game in hand on Northeast, on top of leading them by four points in the table. These teams are the cream of the crop defensively, so look for a low-scoring affair today.   (9:00 AM, Asianet Movies)

RESULT:   1-1        Bengaluru saved their undefeated record at 90′ with a goal

Image result for shiny things funny

 

That… doesn’t feel relevant…

Who’s doing images around here now, anyway? 

Noob missed Dan the Intern-Inferno.

9. Turbine Potsdam vs. VfL Wolfsburg – Frauen-Bundesliga

Lyon may be the #1 women’s team in Europe, but it’s Germany’s top league that ranks most highly. And no German team is mightier than Wolfsburg – 10-0-0 so far.

Top two will qualify for the next women’s UEFA Champions League. That second slot looks likely to either go to Potsdam or Bayern Munich. No one’ going to get Wolfsburg though. After all, they’ve outscored opponents 46-2 so far. Good golly.

RESULT:   1-1         The leaders can bleed, they’re human!

Tuesday

1. UANL vs. Guadalajara – Liga MX Femenil

Time for the second leg of the Apertura (first half-season) Semfinals! All four teams are in action today. This matchup intrigues Noob a little more because UANL are undefeated. Guadalajara got a 1-1 draw at their own place, no small feat.

Matching up with the league’s best on their own turf likely to be a whole other matter. UANL scored over three goals per match during the regular season, 2/3 again as many as Guadalajara, and while playing about the same caliber of defense.

RESULT:   UANL   5-3        On to the finals!

B. Montpelier vs. Lille – Ligue 2

Paris Saint-Germain are still undefeated, miles ahead of the pack. So the race is on for just two more Champions League berths. Lille have fallen to 4th, not having one in any of their last five outings. They’ve been outscored 8-3 over that time. Montpelier are #B in the table.

RESULT:   Lille   0-1        Lille jump up to # B

But wait, just two matches to start the week?  Yup.   Sounds like more high-quality content that soccer lovers everywhere want.   It’s time for a —

NOOB SANDWICH REVIEWOOB!

Last installment of NOOB SANDWICH REVIEWOOB, Noob took Subway to task over there new steak sandwich on sunflower bread, a catastrophe if ever there was one.

Today’s featured sammich is much close to home for Noob.  My six year-old daughter – PersonNoob -created this one recently.

What you’re seeing is four pieces of wheat bread in a

 

single stack.   Each is liberally covered with strawberry jelly.  Here pictured, I’ve removed the top layer to show what she has smashed inside — a Little Bites “birthday cake”-flavored mini-muffin.

We know from “Fizzy’s Lunch Lab” television program that “wheat is sweet”.  But four pieces?   I applaud PersonNoob’s creativity, but one only needs more than two if you’re layering the sammich in different ways between slices.  I blame myself as a parent.

The mini-muffins are fine as prepackaged fare goes.  Certainly eaten my share of ones PN hasn’t finished on our way to her school.

To my surprise, the sweet jam and the “birthday” aspect of the muffin didn’t make this sickeningly sweet, at least not at the first bite.    Yes, I tried it, though only ventured that one bite.  As you might imagine, the texture was just straight up waaaay too much bread.

So does Noob dare really rate a sandwich his own sweet daughter created?   You betcha.   And while this is the highest rating I’ve yet given a sandwich, the finished product still didn’t do all that well.

On the Noob Sammich Review sammich rating scale of one to five Sammiches, I rate the “Extra-Tall Wheat Jelly and Birthday Cake Mini-Muffin Sandwich” at just 1.5 Sammiches.

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition (11/27-29) soccer match previews – MLS Semis end the MWE!

“The ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game” – hit their peak of importance today. MLS Semifinals! After tonight, we’ll know who’s playing for the big trophy.

Tuesday and Wednesday’s match results follow below. Remember you can always check back for results on every single day, plus often a note or two about who starred, or how the results affected what was at stake.

Thursday

9. Sporting Kansas City vs. Portland Timbers – Major League Soccer

Second leg of the Western Conference Finals! While any team would of course like to get a road win every time, #1 KC got the draw in Portland in the first match of this two-game series. Now they have the chance to take care of business at home.

But that scoreless draw has to be troubling for them. Goalkeeper Tim Melia of USMNT fame played well and Graham Zusi was a monster on the back defensive line. But Noob highlighted Daniel Salloi for that first match and instead of starring, he was the weak link, losing duels and not being terribly good with passes.

The 5th-seed Portland was better on passing, held the ball longer, and created more shots on goal. That didn’t and won’t matter if they can’t get better play from striker Jeremy Ebobisse though.

Ultimately, it’s hard to beat home cookin’. KC did what was necessary, if just, and should be a moderate to heavy favorite at home.   (9:30 PM Eastern, ESPN)

RESULT:   Portland    2-3           Diego Valeri with two Timbers goals, including the game winner at 90′

10. New York Red Bulls vs. Atlanta United – Major League Soccer

Some are calling the Eastern Conference finals the de facto league finals. Both teams had several more point in the the table than K.C.

#B Atlanta laid the smack down at their place in the first leg of this overall Semi, 3-0. Franco Escobar was the slightly-surprisng star with both a goal and an assist. This club has the best offense in the entire league. It will be interesting to see if they keep dancing with the girl that brought them and continue attacking, or try to take the air out of the ball with such a big lead from the first leg.

NYRB have a HYOOJ hole to dig themselves out of. Lots of goals will certainly mean the involvement of BrandonWright-Phillips, who looked like an MVP the first half of the MLS season. Not that he tanked after that, but his effectiveness definitely diminished. But if the right side of Red Bulls’ back line get manhandled again (Tim Parker, Michael Murillo), BWP’s possible resurgence won’t matter.   (7:00 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   NYRB   1-0         But it’s not enough!    ATL will host the single-match Final versus Portland.

Image result for the world of red bull funnySo long from…wherever the Red Bull box cart races were held.

Yeeeah.  Wow.

 

Extra Credit: Two Liga MX qf’s, a couple dozen group stage Europa league matches, Copa Sudamericana sf, El Salvador and Guatemala qf’s, second round Arab Club Championship

Wednesday

3. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur vs. Inter Milan – UEFA Champions League

You can scroll down to the Tuesday portion of the Midweek Track for a few extra details on the event, should you be a completely unseasoned Noobite.

Noob-reviled Hotspur is nearly out of Champions League, as is good, right and appropriate. When your club is named for an historic traitor (Harry Percy), good things cannot follow.

The scourge of England’s Premier League, Hotspur trail Inter by three points in the table and won the first match between them (tiebreaker). Since Hotspur’s remaining match other than this one is at #1 Barcelona, they’re in desperate need of a win today.

Hotspur are winners of five straight across all competitions. Inter are in just 5th in Italy’s Serie A. Where Hotspur lack a little offensive punch compared to many other top teams, Inter have been sagging on defense. Bad matchup for the visitors, sadly.   (3:00 PM Eastern, TNT)

RESULT:   Hotspur   1-0

Image result for sir topham hatt furious

 

 

Sir Topham Hatt — flexing the pimp hand.  Gotta keep it strong for those Hotspur COYS.

 

4. Paris Saint-Germain vs. Liverpool – UEFA Champions League

This is the most competitive Group going here. Liverpool and Napoli are tied for first. PSG are just a point behind and Red Star Belgrade only a point behind them in turn.

PSG are running roughshod over Ligue 1 – no losses or draws. Yet many people Noob reads suggest the league is not very good this year. Liverpool have yet to lose in Champions League, putting them in second place there. Neither team allow goals.

Both teams are stronger than the ones in Track Match three here. If either doesn’t qualify for the Knockout Round, that’s big news.   (3:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   PSG   2-1

5. Porto vs. Schalke – UEFA Champions League

Three matches from one event? Thought you were filtering event like these, Noob.

Oh, but I am. But I won’t ignore important ones this late in the Group Stage just for the sake of it. Porto is Portugal’s #1 team. That doesn’t make them one of the very strongest clubs remaining, but they won’t be a pushover for anyone next round. They’re dominating the Primeira Liga and can score and defend amazingly.

Germany’s Schalke trail Porto by two in the Group C table. An upset win today would guarantee them a berth in the Knockout Round. And it would be a remarkable upset at that. In the Bundesliga, they’re playing so darn badly that they’re fighting just to stay out of the Relegation Zone.

They don’t defend half badly, but they didn’t wow on offense last year and don’t score much at all now. Still, they lead the Group 3rd-place team by four, seem likely to sneak out of the Group Stage no matter how today goes.

RESULT:   Porto   3-1

Image result for schalke 04 funny

 

 

 

Is that the German Mr. Magoo?

 

6. Monterrey vs. Santos – Liga MX

Let the playoffs begin! This is the Liguilla. The eight best teams from the Apertura (first half-season) qualified. This is a bracketed tournament. Each pair of teams will play two-legged, home-and-away series.

It is seeded just like the NCAA basketball tourney would be, and this is your 4/5 matchup. Santos has been a shade better on both sides of the ball. More, they haven’t lost to Monterrey in their last three matches. But Monterrey haven’t lost in three matches, while Santos didn’t win in any of their last three.   (10:06 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Monterrey    1-0

7. Saprissa vs. Herediano – Costa Rica Premier

This is CONCACAF’s third-strongest league. They might argue they’re better than MLS. Mexicans might argue their second division league is better. Regardless, this is a sneaky-good football league.

And the Playoffs are already underway! The top four qualified for this postseason tournament. Apertura regular season champs Saprissa host this second match of the home-and-away Semifinal series. Herediano – the other perennial power here – finished 4th, won the first leg 1-0 at their place.

Saprissa was better on both sides of the ball all Apertura, but particularly so on offense. That one-goal deficit should be one they can overcome today, move on to the Final.

RESULT:   Saprissa   1-0       …which means the series was tied and they moved on to penalty kicks!    Herediano advances to the final on those, 2-4

Image result for costa rica premier logo

 

 

One foot-sport, one heart.  

But the logo’s more than a little puffy-nipply.   No.

8. Portmore United vs. Tivoli Gardens – Jamaica Premier

This, too, is one of CONCACAF’s stronger domestic leagues – almost certainly the best of the island nations in our federation. Hallooo, neighbors! Noob’s making a concerted effort to get to know ya. May I borrow a cup of sugar?

The top six finishers here will make the Playoffs, with the top two getting byes into the Semifinals. They’re a dozen matches into the season, and rhese two are #1 and #3. This is a classic best offense versus best defense scenario. An upset win wouldn’t move Gardens into 1st, but would tighten up an already good-looking race.

RESULT:   Portmore   2-0

Extra Credit:   the other UEFA Champions League matches, Costa Rican semifinal, Liga MX qf; 

Also, Spain’s Copa del Rey round of 32 match, Copa Argentina sf, Copa Sudamericana sf, Czech Cup Round of 16, Guatemala National League sf

Also, #1 Shkendija vs. #3 Academy Pandev in Macedonai’s Prva Liga, Russian FA Cup qf, very early round CAF Champions League, #3 Brittania vs. #2 Nacional in Aruba’s Division di Honor, second round Arab Club Championship

Tuesday

1. Lyon vs. Manchester City – UEFA Champions League

But make no mistake, I’m glad it’s back, baybeeeeee! A quick reminder for the newest Noobites what the it is:. League champions and other top teams of Europe in the crown jewel of all club tournaments. They’re currently in the Group Stage. Pods of four playing double round robins. Top two finishers from each will advance to the Knockout (single elimination, bracket-style) Stage. Everybody’s got two matches to go.

Man City is thought by many to be the #1 team in the world currently. They’re undefeated in Premier League play, lead Lyon by three point in the Group F table. But they’ve lost one match.

To Lyon. At Man City! The French team is a distant #B to undefeated Paris Saint-Germain in Ligue 1 there, but #B nonetheless. They haven’t lost to anyone, anywhere, besides PSG since August. Yet strangely, that win over Man City is their only win in Group F. All their other matches have ended in draws.

So what’s at stake? Noob’s laser-focused of late on stakes, letting you know why any given match is important. Man City are almost 100% to advance to the Knockout Round now, and any result (win or draw) will seal that deal.

A win for Lyon would do the same. Anything else, and the door is very much open for the other two Group F clubs, trailing by three and four points, respectively. So yes, remaining undefeated with a draw would leave the, in jeopardy yet. What a tournament.

Oh, and based on ELO ratings (thank you, footballdatabase.com), Noob thinks Man City will win easily, 1-2 goal margin, in France.

RESULT:   2-2         Maxwell Cornet with a goal and an assist for Lyon as they blew two leads.  

B. AS Roma vs. Real Madrid – UEFA Champions League

Noob is often reluctant to feature multiple matches from the same league or tournament on a given day. I wish to act as filter for we newish fans, allow us to focus on the most important things, yet with a broad gaze. Eight matches today for UEFA CL. We can do two.

It’s an easy decision when the three-time defending champions are in the mix, too. Real and Roma are tied for the Group G lead. The next team down is five points behind. Look, these two are going through to the Knockout Stage no matter how the match ends today. But finishing 1st or runner-up matters for seeding in the next Round, so this match is still monster.

Defending champs or not, this isn’t the same Real team of recent years. Losing the greatest active player in the world – Cristiano Ronaldo – will have that effect. They’re in just 5th place in La Liga and just suffered a blistering 3-0 loss to Eibar. If you don’t know that name, that’s the point. And their newfound issues are on both sides of the ball.

Yet after a 3rd place Italian Serie A finish last year, Roma have slipped as many places as Real – down to 7th at present. They’d appeared to have the righted their ship to some degree of late, but than lost to Udinese last time out. Once again, if you don’t know that club, that’s the point.

Real’s crash back to earth this year has been the steeper fall. Still, Noob wouldn’t put Roma at any better than an even match for them at home.

RESULT:   Real   0-2

New feature! EXTRA CREDIT will appear with some frequency now – these are events, matches Noob scouted for a given date but that didn’t make the cut for the Track.

Extra Credit: Early round-Coupe de France, Scotland’s FA Cup, very early round 2018-19 CAF Champions League, later round EFL Cup (tournament of tertiary importance in England), and Semifinals of Africa’s women’s Cup of Nations – all are in action.

ALSO! Congrats to Guadalajara, UANL, America and Pachuca of Liga MX Femenil. They all just qualified for the Semifinals of the Apertura (first half-season) there.

Noob’s trying to learn women’s and more CONCACAF soccer in general, but the site I use (for the moment) screws up dates something fierce. I’d scouted the Quarterfinals I thought were today, but they’re in the books already. Part of the learning for Noob is finding the best resources.

 

’10 to Track’ Relegation Monday matches – feel the suckitude

On Monday’s, what with world soccer scheds being lighter, Noob introduces you to teams about to be Relegated.

Feel their pain.  Mondays are for pain.

  1. Queretaro vs. Tigres UANL – Liga MX Femenil

Noob’s beginning to think Queretaro only gets to play teams at the top of the table. we see them so much.   They’re 5th in Group 2 (of 2), taking on the #1 side today.   Neither side plays a ton of D.

Difference is, Tigres score like no one else.  Queretaro score…well, some.    Not enough.  They’ll get embarrassed by three today.

RESULT:   Tigres   1-2

B.  Southampton vs. Brighton & Hove Albion – English Premier League

The lone EPL match today features two sides that aren’t quite in Relegation position, but they aren’t far above it, and they were even closer to danger last year.

No matter how hard they pack it in on defense all season, neither will score enough to make midtable.   (3:00 PM EST, NBCSN)

RESULT:   2-2       B&HA with comes back from 0-2, getting equalizer at 90’+1

Image result for b is for bad

 

 

Number B refuses to be merely “bad”.

  1. Persepolis vs. Al-Duhail – AFC Champions League

Match two of this Semifinal!   This is a really even matchup for the Iranians.  Unfortunately, they trail 0-1 after the first match in Qatar.

RESULT:   Persepolis   3-1        On to the Final!

  1. RoPS vs. KuPS – Finland Veikkausliga

There may be just enough season left for #B RoPS to think they can still make a run at the title.  They’re down seven points to HJK, the class of the league.  KuPS are tied for 3rd, part of a tight pack of teams that score a ton, but give up toooooo many goals to be a threat to the top.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for aurora borealis finland lapland

 

Laplandic Finland (where RoPS are) gets about 10x as many Northern Lights sightings as down south.

 

And now – the Matches of Suckitude!

  1. Honka vs. PS Kemi – Finland Veikkausliga

More Finnish footyball?   You’ve got it, Noobites!   To the other end of the table we go.

Well, to see PS Kemi, anyway.   Honka the ones tied for 3rd with KuPS.  PS Kemi are in last place.  The bottom two will get Relegated.  They’re four points from daylight, so not without hope hypotherically.

Realistically?   They’re going to get doubled up on today.   Honka are that much better on both sides of the ball.

Fun Fact:    Each year, Kemi is once again home to the world’s largest snow castle.

RESULT:   Honka   2-1       Spanish international Borja Martin with both his team’s goals

  1. Hacken vs. Trellesborg – Sweden Allsvenskanliga

Hacken are a real mystery to Noob.  They have a great goal differential on the season, yet sit midtable.  Perhaps that means if last place Trellesborg can keep things close, a Monday Miracle is possible!

Naaaaaah.  They stink to high heaven.

RESULT:   Hacken   2-1

Image result for smelly swede

 

 

 

No.

  1. Chapocoense vs. Internacional – Brazil Serie A

Four of the 20 clubs in this league will get The Boot at season’s end.  Chapo are tied for 17th.  They’re just two points from getting out of danger, but time is running out.  And league #B Internacional won’t be caught napping today, or any day.  They’re just a point out of 1st.

Fun Fact:   One of their nicknames is “The Chape Terror”.    Hmm.   Maybe they could terrorize second division next season.

RESULT:   Chape   2-1      We had to wait until the last Match of Suckitude of the day, but we got our Relegation Monday miracle!

  1. Misr El-Maqasa vs. El Hodood – Egypt Premier

El Hodood are very bad.  Noob find their name funny.  Largely because I’m so damn overmedicated for my neck and lower back both being waaaay out of alignment.

RESULT:   MEM   3-1

Image result for overmedicated funny

 

 

 

That image sure is.   Thanks for the nightmare-fodder.  Damn.

  1. Ural vs. Rostov – Russia Premier

How overmedicated?  Well, I was awoken yesterday by a coworker’s phone call.   I was so out of it, the dream I was having seemed more real for quite some time afterwards than the short conversation we’d had.

I’d been dreaming about opening a cheese sandwich shop in a mall in Des Moines, Iowa.   I was working out the particulars of whether or not to carry fresh mayonnaise to spread on the bread or go with prepackaged packets.

I wish I was making that up.   Nope.

Oh yes, Ural are ghastly and will lose by at least two.

Fun Fact:   Ural are the Bumblebees.    No punchline here, just the first club Noob’s found with that nickname.

RESULT:   1-1

  1. ES Setif vs. DRB Tadjenanet – Algeria Ligue 1

This league is just a few matches in, but that doesn’t stop Noob from sniffing out crappy soccer, oh no.   Today’s visitors are tied with a couple other clubs for third-to-last, a Relegation slot.  MC Oran will climb away from the awfulness soon enough, so DRBT might be on our craptastic-radar for a while.   They’re especially lazy on defense.

Since #3 ES Setif are also competing in the late stages of the CAF Champions League, perhaps they will not be prepared today, but that’s likely the only chance their guests today will have.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for tadjenanet

 

So long from Tadjenanet!

Yikes!   If this is their athletics scene, how crazy-violent are their football supporters?

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Saturday (9/15) – the most footyball ever covered on Noob

“The ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game”.  Oh ho, Noob’s cheating today.

The list of the previews-proper are still ten   But we’re directly acknowledging three times as many Track-worthy matches today!

Gorge, Noobites.  Feeeast!!

  1. Portland Thorns vs. Seattle Reign – National Women’s Soccer League Playoffs

At last, the postseason!  These are the #B and #3 seeds of the four teams participating.

In their last match of the regular season, Portland beat Seattle to secure their runner-up status.  Their reward is getting to host today’s one-off.  There will be no return trip to Seattle.  The other two times they met in 2018, the matches were in Seattle, which won them both.

Portland is the more offensively-minded group by far, will look to push the pace hard.  The most likely names to see pairing up for scores are Lindsey Horan and Tobin Heath, second and first in league goals and assists, respectively.

For Seattle, their defensive player of the year Rebekah Scott will have her hands full.   She plays outside back, a position from which she can often feed their offensive threat, Megan Rapinoe.  Noob’s not sure she’ll be anything but pinned back on defense today though.   (3:00 PM EST, Lifetime)

RESULT:   Portland   2-1       Horan and Heath each scored.  

B.  FC Dallas vs. Columbus Crew – Major League Soccer

This is just one of three Track-worthy MLS matches on the day.  Noob’s highlighting this one for a couple reasons.

First – Dallas are still #1 in the Western Conference, having wrested the spot away from Kansas City midseason.  Surprising – their play has been incredibly spotty.  They just had a nice home win over rivals Houston last match, yet have lost twice to San Jose since August.  (The ‘Quakes can’t beat almost anyone else.  Ever.)  The offense and defense both come and go.

Second – how much longer will Noob get to type “Columbus Crew” without it being an historical reference?  Their ownership moving them to Austin is hardly a done deal, but it remains a likelihood.

As for their current season, they’re #4 in the East with plenty of table-space above and below.  They just got a big confidence boost taking down #3 NYCFC.  Noob wonders if they might night find today’s a trap game of sorts.    (8:00 PM, ESPN+)

Other MLS matches:   *Philadelphia Union vs. Montreal Impact – The East’s #5 and #6 fight to stay there, the conference’s final playoff spots;  *Vancouver Whitecaps vs. Seattle Sounders – the West’s #6 and #7, separated by one little point in the table.  Seattle have won eight straight.

Image result for bbb

 

Yes, Number B.  You got to feature three matches.

And so three of you.  Well-done.

  1. CF America vs. Monarcas Morelia – Liga MX

It warms the cockles of a Noob-heart to see Morelia struggling.   While I feel far more strongly anti-royalty with American-named clubs than Mexico, there’s still no kings and queens in N.A.  Foolishness!  Go, CFA!

Club America are in a four-way tie for 3rd place at nearly the halfway point here in the Apertura (first half-season).  They’re the strongest of them, too, in goal differential and INHO.  They’d been struggling a touch, but a trip to lowly Lobos BUAP was just what was needed last match (0-2 win).

Morelia hasn’t won in a month.  Their defense makes the sad.   (8:00 PM, Univision)

Other Mexican matches of note:   *Pumas UNAM vs. Tijuana  — in Liga MX Femenil, Pumas are #4 in their Group.  Top two from each will make the playoffs.  They’re in the mix, but the least of the best there.   Tijuana are in 6th;   Zacatecas vs. Atlante – second-division Ascenso MX #1 and #3.

RESULT:   CF America   2-1

Image result for soccernoob buap

 

 

Credit to Dan – the former Intern-o Inferno – for showing us just how lowly BUAP truly is.

  1. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur vs. Liverpool – English Premier League

Last year’s #3 and #4 face off.

Liverpool have won all four of their early matches this season, though the toughest team they’ve faced is probably Leicester (meh).   Hotspur thrashed Man Utd – on the road, no less – then turned right around and threw it away with a loss to Watford.  They’re both likely to be in the title chase for a while, contend for top-four finishes, Champions League berths.

Since it’s a new season, allow Noob to explain to less-tenured Noobites about the strikethrough.   Tottenham Hotspur is named for Harry “Hotspur” Percy.  He was an historic traitor, flipflopping multiple times with his loyalties.  He was a scalawag and ne’er-do-well and Noob will carry no truck with such!

Good thing that didn’t get weird at the end…   (7:30 AM, NBCSN)\

RESULT:   Liverpool   1-2

Image result for harry hotspur percy traitor

 

 

Shewsbury – the site of Percy’s death by arrow – is hallowed ground 

  1. 1 de Agosto vs. TP Mazembe – CAF Champions League

This is the first leg of a Quarterfinal tie.

Angola’s representative host first.   Their domestic league is on the rise, looks to jump from 17th to a top-10 spot in the African rankings next year.  TP Mazembe plays out of DR Congo’s top league, #3-best in Africa.  1dG would be doing well to get a draw at home.  To have a chance at advancing, they’ll have to.

Today’s other QF:   Esperance vs. Etoile du Sahel – Tunisia’s two best clubs face off.  They don’t keep them apart in the draws there I guess.  They’re both a lot better than the two featured teams above.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. FC Olexandria vs. Shakhtar Donetsk – Ukraine Premier

Ukraine’s top flight have climbed to #8 among domestic league in Europe.  Noobites should know something about this bunch.  We feature matches from their frequently.

And so, welcome to the Track, FCO!   Almost 100% sure this is the first time they’ve been featured.   They were mid-table all last season.  Seven matches into 2018-19, they’re #B.  But the current and historic #1 comes to town today to test their mettle.    Shakhtar average 2.5 goals a match, roughly.

Other top #1-#B UEFA matchups:  *Slovan Bratislava vs. Dunajska Streda — #1 hosts #B in what should be a shootout in Slovakia’s Super Liga;  Ferencvaros vs. Budapest Honved — #1 hosts #B in the Hungarian NB 1.  Honved will try and slow down the only team in the league averaging over two goals per match.

RESULT:   Donetsk   0-2

Image result for fc olexandria

 

 

 

No, FC Olexandria – Noob applauds YOU for being Track-worthy

  1. Stjarnan vs. Breioablik – Iceland FA Cup

Their league might not be even as highly-rated as the honorable mentions in Track match #6, but Noob’s always down for a Cup Final!

A question plaguing Noob is:  how much do these clubs care about the FA Cup?   It can be legitimately asked anywhere, at least by those of us who are truly noob.  Nowhere have I heard or read thy’re considered anything but a moderate to distant second in importance to the league title.

It’s especially relevant here, as Iceland’s Urvalsdeild league gets only one Champions League invite and these two are #B and #3.  Stjarnan, in fact, is just a point behind league-leaders Valur.  Will they play all starters in pursuit of this trophy, or save energy for the home stretch of their league season?

Today’s championship match is at the National Stadium in Reykjavik.  If they’re both playing full strength, Stjarnan have to be considered at last a 3:2 fave to win in regulation.

RESULT:   Stjarnan   0-0  /  4-1   pens

  1. Santa Gema vs. Independiente – Panama Football League

Noob’s been making a concerted effort here during the second year of this site to pay greater attention to all CONCACAF leagues.  And #1-#B matches shine like the sun.   This is one!

If the current pattern holds, this league is going to have one heckuva title race in 2018-19.   They’re just a few matches in, but good golly these teams end their matches in lots of draws!   Noob’s not sure if the league as a whole lacks offensive talent or if the general strategy employed there is defense.  Either way, they don’t see a ton of goals.

Saint Gema are the only undefeated team remaining, but have won just four of seven.  Independiente trail them by three points in the table.

RESULT:   Independiente    0-2       And we have a new #1!

The other #1-#B CONCACAF matchup:  *Fruta Conquerors vs. Guyana Defense Force – Guyana’s GFF Elite League – The Conquerors have an outrageous 48-5 GD.  Still, halfway through the season, they lead GDF by just five in the table.

Image result for pay attention soccer funny

 

Noob just said CONCACAF leagues are getting more attention here.  

Warning unwarranted.

  1. Kawasaki Frontale vs. Consadole Sapporo – Japan J1 League

The defending champs from Kawasaki are #B now, 2/3 of the way through the 2018 season.  Even so, they’re way off Hiroshima’s pace.

Sapporo were below mid-table last year, have improved mightily to be the current #4.  Last season, that would’ve been good enough to get them into the AFC Champions League.  Not this year.  Just the top three now.

Noob’s uncertain if the AFC is distributing more bids to lower-ranked countries’ leagues now, or if J1 League lost a slot due to a drop in confederation ranking.  Regardless, Sapporo need to play far better defense if they want to be in any postseason discussion.

RESULT:   Kawasaki   7-0    not a typo

Before we hit #10, Noob’s including some Honorable Mention matches.  Every one one of them involves two teams in the top quarter (or top three) of their leagues (at least as of five days ago), or there are specific playoff implications:

*USL – conference #2 Pittsburgh Riverhounds vs. #4 Louisville FC, plus #6 Swope Park Rangers vs. #9 Saint Louis FC;  Poland Ekstraklasa — Wisla Krakow vs. Lechia Gdansik was a #1 vs. #B when scouted a few days ago, but two teams which have played an extra match leapfrogged W.K.;  English Football Championship — #6 Bristol City and #3 Sheffield United would be in the second-divisions Promotion playoff tournament were the season over today.

Belgium First Division A — #B Genk vs. #3 Anderlecht;  Norway Eliteserien – #B FK Haugesund vs. #3 Brann;  Belarus Premier – #4 Shakhtyor Soligorsk vs. #3 Dinamo Minsk;  Slovenia Prva Liga — #B Aluminij vs. #3 Gorica;  Uruguay Primera – #B Nacional vs. #3 Montevideo Wanderers; two other Cup tournaments in early action include Portugal’s Taca de Liga and the Swiss FA Cup.

  1. Maldives vs. India – SAFF Championship

The Final!

Asia’s continental football confederation also has several sub-associations.  The South Asian Football Federation holds a Championship every other year.  It’s a standalone event for the current seven member nations, meaning it has no effect on qualifying for any other tournaments.

These are national teams that just aren’t going to see much of any success in most any other field of play.  Three of the seven are in the bottom ten in all Asia.  Two are the very bottom.  Our Finalists are the most-highly ranked in the world, just #150 and #96.  India would be even better, but.  You know.  Cricket.

RESULT:   Maldives   2-1    Upset city!

Image result for Dhaka weirdThey’ve been hosting this tournament Dhaka, Blangadesh.

Come back, Bear Grylls!

’10 to Track’ Globetrotting Friday soccer matches – exploring our football world

The ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game.  This is Noob’s reason for being.  Learning and sharing are fuhn!

Fridays, scheds tend to run a little lighter.  So Noob takes us on a planet-crossing trek of footyball wonder!   As always, we’ll start closer to home, then jet-set off to soccer hinterlands unknown.

(And yes, tenured Noobites – the “Jetsetting Friday” moniker has been scrapped after two weeks.  We’re back to Trotting the Globe, baybeeee.)

  1. Pachuca vs. Toluca – Liga MX Femenil

Listing the ladies first isn’t about political correctness.  Noob has little room for such the quest for learning and sharing.  This is about two teams tied for first!  In their Group, anyway.  Mexico’s top league is divided into two for the entire season.

In truth, there’s a chance this ends in a blowout.  Toluca score over twice as much as their hosts today, and play just as well on defense.  This could well be Pachuca’s one chance to keep true Group title hopes alive.

Top two from each group make the playoffs, but there are four good to great teams in this Group 1.  A home loss would sting more than a little for Pachuca.

RESULT:   Toluca   1-2

B.  Veracruz vs. Toluca – Liga MX

Copy and pasted from yesterday, when Noob thought this match was being played.  Turns out there was a meaningless Copa MX match yesterday instead.   (One team was already advancing as from the Group stage as a runner-up, the other already eliminated.)

With the International Break over, Liga MX returns with a lone match tonight.

It’s not the smexiest of matchups, truth be told.  Veracruz is near the league bottom, sporting easily the league’s worst defense.

Toluca, at least, could be liguilla (playoffs)-bound.  They’re tied for 7th, and eight teams will qualify.  Defense hasn’t been a virtue across the table this Apertura (half-season) for the most part.   If they or any team can shore theirs up even a little, that will be the difference-maker.   (10:00 PM EST, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Toluca   2-3       It’s double-dipping into the guac bowl of victory for Toluca today!

Veracruz came back to tie it from down 0-2 before losing someone to a red card late.  Whoops.

Image result for letter B sexy

 

 

 

Number B, a sexy part of the all-caps font created by Irina Baktova

  1. Birmingham City vs. West Bromwich Albion – English Football Championship

Time to check in on one the Premier League teams that was banished to second division!  Last we saw our heroes, WBA were dead last in the PL.   They weren’t the worst on offense or defense, or even overall GD.   Perhaps they lacked some grittiness, guttiness that could’ve kept them above the line.

These days, they’re 9th in the ECL table.  Best offense down there, but still struggling on D.  But Birmingham are solid chance for a road win.  They’re winless, in 20th place (of 24).  That’s not the Relegation Zone, but they can feel it lurking close beneath them.

Noob smells an 0-2 road win for “The Baggies”.  And remember:  While only the top two get automatically Promoted, the next four have a playoff for one more move up.

  1. ES Setif vs. Wydad Casablanca – CAF Champions League

It’s the Semifinals in Africa!   This is the first match of a two-legged tie.

Wydad, out of Morocco, are the defending champions.  Their league season is just one match on.  Algeria’s ES Setif are in first place in their domestic league, though theirs is only a few games in.

Setif is probably only an even match at home against Wydad.  They need to make some hay on their own ground before the return leg road trip.

It’s worth noting that Africa’s most highly-rated club – Egypt’s Al Ahly – are also in action today.  They get overachieving Guinean club Horoya though.  That match will only be as close as Ahly let it be, even on the road.

Image result for making hay funny

 

 

 

You’re doing it wrong.

No matter what the “it” is.

  1. Guangzhou Evergrande vs. Beijing Gouan – Chinese Super League

B.G. are #1 at just past the 20-match mark in this league’s season.   Excellent, especially considering they were just 9th-place in 2017.

At some point, their lack of defense is going cost them dearly.  Today is likely that day.  The defending champs play host, and their GD is 50% better.  They score nearly every bit as much.

Top two will make the AFC Champions League group stage.  3rd-place finisher will get in, but have to play a qualifying round.

Fun Fact:   City Guangzhou is perhaps more familiar to us by an alternate name – Canton.

RESULT:   Evergrande   1-0       G.E. are #B now, while B.G. have dropped to #3.

  1. Cerezo Osaka vs. Jubilo Iwata – Japan J1 League

This match doesn’t quite pass Track muster for inclusion (~both clubs in top quarter of a league).  But Noob likes to throw The Management a bone many a time, and he’s a Japanophile.  (In fact, he’s vacationing in Tokyo right now, post-Seoul business trip.)

C.Osaka finished 3rd last year, making the AFC CL group stage.  Iwata were 6th.  Both teams are a bit lower in 2018 though – 5th and 10th currently.

Still, even the 4th-place team gets a qualifying stage CL berth, so C.Osaka are not irrelevant.  But they need to get over the hump in some matches, as they lead the league in draws.  Get tough, “Cherry Blossoms”!

RESULT:   1-1       C.Osaka remain in 5th, Iwata moves into 9th.

Image result for madame lobina

 

 

 

Lobby and Madame Lobina are both official mascots of Cerezo Osaka.

 

  1. Navbahor vs. Pakhtakor – Uzebekistan Super League

Welcome to Asia’s 10th-ranked domestic league.  Where they know how to create some league drama.

Like many across the world, this league divided into Championship and Relegation subdivisions about 2/3 of the way into its season.  But like a minority of those, they throw out the records at that point.

Navbahor finished 4th, but are in 1st now.  They lagged on offense, but now are on par with the other best clubs.  Pakhtor finished 1st, are a close 3rd now.  And they still are best on GD.  They’re not scoring at the astonishing clip they once were, but play stonewall defense.

Noob believes just one qualifies for 2019 AFC CL.

Fun Fact:   Navabahor means “new spring”; their home city is Namangan.

RESULT:   3-3

  1. Khatlon vs. Kuktosh – Tajikistan Vysshaya Liga

This league climbed to #12 in the AFC rankings, and so will get a team into the next CL.   This year, they don’t have even one.  Instead a couple of their clubs qualified for the Asia Cup.

The season is 20 matches in, and it appears to be a two-horse race.  Kuktosh are 3rd, but a dozen points behind the leaders.  They’d need an historic run to jump both teams.  Even one of them, really.

Khatlon are in 6th and probably a bit better than that.   They’re no worse than an even match for their guests today.

RESULT:   Khatlon   1-0

Image result for ajina-tepa

 

A Buddhist cloister (Ajina-Tepa) near Khatlon club’s home city of Qurghonteppa.

  1. Kopetdag Asgabat vs. Merw – Turkmenistan Yokary Liga

In Asia’s perfectly average (#23) league, even the champ doesn’t get a sniff of the AFC CL.  They head to the secondary Asia Cup.  Not that either of today’s combatants will be there, either.   #7 hosts #5.  The good news for them is no one gets Relegated from this league.

Fun Fact:   OK, these guys are just looking to mess up my Scrabble game now.  Merw??  Srsly?

RESULT:   K.A.   2-0

  1. Mwadui vs. Azam – Tanzania Premier

After that extended run through Asia, we finish today’s Globetrotting Track in Africa.  This league cracks the top 24, but needs to be twice as good to get two berths into the CAF Champions League.

Their season is just getting started.  Azam finished #B last year.  1st-place Simba SC outscored them by nearly a 2:1 margin.  Mwadui were 10th of 16.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for shinyanga diamond mine

 

So long from Shinyanga, Tanzania!

Home of FC Mwadui and where the first big diamond find was made outside S.A.

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – Liga MX’s, UEFA women’s Champions League

And so with Thursday’s mini-previews now UP, our Midweek Edition is complete.

Check back for results.  Follow Noob on Twitter as SoccerNoobUSA.   And remember that as weird as this can all get, there’s actual info in here.  Who’da thunk, amirite?

Thursday

  1. Veracruz vs. Toluca – Liga MX

With the International Break over, Liga MX returns with a lone match tonight.

It’s not the smexiest of matchups, truth be told.  Veracruz is near the league bottom, sporting easily the league’s worst defense.

Toluca, at least, could be liguilla (playoffs)-bound.  They’re tied for 7th, and eight teams will qualify.  Defense hasn’t been a virtue across the table this Apertura (half-season) for the most part.   If they or any team can shore theirs up even a little, that will be the difference-maker.

RESULT:     This game got mixed up with a Copa MX match, will be played tomorrow.

Image result for Veracruz funny

 

Noob’s Spanish is rusty.

Can they not defend since they’re so close to the sun?

  1. Queretaro vs. Guadalajara – Liga MX Femenil

Queretaro keeps on popping up in these matches for the Track.   They’re only 5th in their Group, not themselves on Noob’s radar.  Must be in a tough stretch of matches.

Here they get #B Guadalajara.  Top pair in each of the two Groups makes the playoffs, and no one is likely to challenge them.  Even on the road, this will be a two-goal margin in their favor.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Atletico Madrid vs. Manchester City – UEFA women’s Champions League

So Noob’s done a modicum of Google-machining since yesterday.  Now I at least know which eight women’s leagues are rated best in Europe, if not the order.   Spain’s is not among them, England’s is.

And since the women’s game seems to be short on parity, that means this Round of 32 match should easily go women-Man City’s way, even in Madrid.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for weird sites madrid

 

So long from El Rastro, Madrid!

Remember:  Not every Spanish fleamarket vendor offers equal goods…

 

Wednesday

  1. D.C. United vs. Minnesota United – Major League Soccer

This is the only MLS match today, yet it would likely make the Track even were it a tree in a footyball forest.

It’s no accident D.C. keeps making airwaves the last few weeks or keeps getting featured by Noob.   Huge win streak after spending over half the season in the basement.  Wayne Rooney signing.  And they’re finally performing against playoff-caliber teams — a win and a draw in their last two.

Now they get a comparative break and we get to see if D.C. can continue to need to be so “up” for every match this late in the season.  They’re in 8th, still five points out of the sixth and final Eastern Conference postseason slot.

Minnesota gave up their season long since.  They’ve lost four of five, haven’t won a match in three weeks.  9th in the West, double-digit points out of the playoff picture.

You’d likely have to catch tonight’s match online (7:30 PM EST, ESPN+), but the man to ogle besides Rooney is Luciano Acosta.  Having Rooney out there has really opening things up for him offensively.   He will be in space all evening.

RESULT:   DC   2-1      Acosta with an assist and was the statistical man of the match.

So D.C. rises to 7th place, just one spot away from the postseason.  And they’ve played one less match than #6 Montreal.

  1. Martinque vs. British Virgin Islands – CONCACAF Nations League qualification

Without having officially read such, this match’s postponement today must, of course, be due to the hurricane.

Rather than insert a replacement match, Noob offers thoughts and prayers here for those there and throughout the entire effected region.

Image result for Scorpions rock you like a hurricane funny

 

 

No insensitivity intended. 

It would be so much nicer to swap out Scorpions for the weather disaster.

  1. Juventus vs. Brondby – UEFA women’s Champions League

Noob’s tardy in getting today’s matches up (darn workplace sched!), so am picking this match for Tracking out of many simply because it’s halftime as I write this.  (Juve lead 1-0.)  All other matches in this tournament today are further along or already completed.

This is the first match of a two-legged tie in the Round of 32.   Juventus is just now entering the event, champions of Italy’s top league.  Brondby enter now as well, runners-up in Denmark.

Noob’s not much sure how to handicap these matches.  As noob as I am with soccer in general, I am particularly so with the international women’s match.  But it’s part of why we’re all here – learningness!

RESULT:   2-2

Tuesday

  1. U.S.A. vs. Mexico – international friendly

Anything but friendly.  Players who have had choices between playing for either national team have gone the way of Mexico.  And not that they can be blamed, since they’re the strongest team in CONCACAF and therefore were the most likely to reach World Cup.

Both teams will feature very young sides today, though especially the Americans.  They’re both coming off decisive losses in their most recent friendlies.   Mexico got walloped by Uruguay 1-4, while the USMNT went down 0-2 to Brazil.  Those are top-five world teams.

Even with the U.S. team, Noob is still climbing the learning curve.   I’ve been reading that midfielder Weston McKinnie is a big reason German Bundesliga’s club Schalke 04 finished runners-up last season.   Noob will be listening for his name tonight.

Mexico has an 18-year old named Diego Lainez who Roma tried to buy this summer.   His club – CF America- probably won’t be able to hold him back from Europe past this season.   (8:30 PM EST, ESPN)

On a side note:  Tonight’s match is in Nashville.   “Music City”, they claim.  Noob is down with some alt-country, some older (pre-1990) country, and current “outlaw country”.   But the country-politan crap they’ve been producing in Nashville for a quarter century sucks out loud.

There’s a reason modern pop country is the only music America makes but we can’t export to any real degree.  It sucks out loud, gags on what it takes in, then gags again when it projectile-vomits.  Music City Noob’s ass.

Noob would choose Bakersfield, CA first, if given the choice between just those two.  Austin, TX should lasso the moniker.

RESULT:   USA   1-0        Full disclosure:  Right until they lost a player to a straight red card in the second half, Mexico dominated this match.   

Image result for dwight yoakam Jason Statham

 

Dwight Yoakam – Bakersfield Country.  Check.

Acted with Jason Statham in “Crank”.  Check.  

B.  Spain vs. Croatia – UEFA Nations League

Please scroll down to last week’s Midweek Edition if you are in need of Noob-level detail for this tournament.

FIFA-#9 Spain are hosting this at a second-tier club stadium in Elche, Valencia.  How cool would it be if they were to have this in Madrid? Croatia’s star is midfielder Luka Modric, who plays for Real Madrid.  His national team has climbed all the way to #4 in the worldwide rankings on the heels of their World Cup finals appearance.

Spain won their first and only match in this event so far over England, 2-1.  This is the first one for Croatia.   (2:45 PM, ESPN2)

RESULT:   Spain   6-0        Eep!   Six different players scored.

Image result for croatia letter B

 

Number B, you bandwagon jumper!

Hanging out in Croatia’s Glagolitic script.

  1. Guadalajara vs. Tigres UANL – Liga MX Femenil

#B hosts #1 in Group 2 (of two) in Mexico’s top women’s league.   They lead the pack by quite a bit, so this match may be the determining factor in who takes the group title, gets the better seed in the playoffs.

Noob has become more and more disenchanted with “small-ball” as a winning style of play.  So far, it’s how Guadalajara have stayed up in the table.  But it tends to fail against truly great teams.  Both here are undefeated, but Noob thinks Tigres will get the road upset today.  They play little defense, but score like a house afire.

RESULT:   Tigres   1-3

  1. Saint Martin vs. Guadeloupe – CONCACAF Nations League qualification

Again, please scroll down to the last Midweek Edition for event details.

Couple of French teams in our region do battle today!  Guadeloupe is in the top third of CONCACAF strength-wise.  Not bad, considering they aren’t FIFA members.  Saint Martin are one of the weakest, this match will not be close.  Guadeloupe will look to ruin up the score, since GD is very much likely to matter.  All the teams in this event are in one giant aggregate table.  First match of the event for both.

RESULT:   Guadeloupe   0-3

Image result for weakness funny

 

 

Saint Martin:  *sigh*   “The footsballs. “

 

’10 to Track’ Relegation Monday (9/10) soccer matches – Embrace the sadness!

With schedules lighter around the world on Mondays, Noob starts your workweek with a bunch o’ matches featuring clubs about to get Relegated.

Let’s get to know them before they are dropped into oblivion!

First, a few matches of happier import.

  1. Portugal vs. Italy – UEFA Nations League

Please scroll down to the most recent Midweek Edition for more details on this event.

At #21, Noob understands this is the lowest Italy has been in the FIFA rankings since they started putting them out.  They have a youth-heavy roster now as they rebuild.  Portugal are #7 in the world.

Italy drew with Poland in their first and only match so far.  This is the first match for Portugal, who Noob likes easily by a goal today.   (2:45 PM EST, ESPN Deportes)

RESULT:   Portugal   1-0

B.  St. Kitts and Nevis vs. Puerto Rico – CONCACAF Nations League qualification

Again, head down to the Midweek for more event details.

Noob is mildly surprised to find that SKnN are more highly-ranked than Puerto Rico.  They are #135 and #173.  I’d favor the home team here even were this at a neutral site.   First match of the event for both teams.

RESULT:   SKN   1-0

Image result for letter B surprise

 

 

 

The real surprise is that Number B is displacing Number Two.

Get on the train.

  1. Morelia vs. Queretaro – Liga MX Femenil

Only the top two from each of this league Group’s make the postseason.  These two are #6 and #5.  Neither side is likely to crack the top three even.

This is a quirky matchup.  Queretaro don’t score much at all, but don’t give up tons and tons.  That Queretaro score nearly twice as often isn’t even impressive, and that they give have far and away the Group’s worst defense.

RESULT:   Queretaro   1-2

  1. Gambia vs. Togo – Africa Cup of Nations qualification

Groups of four.  Top two from each make the Cup.

The surprise two matches into this Group is Benin.  They’re tied with favorite Algeria at four table points each.  Gambia and Togo have just one each.  But they play six each, so there’s a ways Togo.  Still, a loss for either of these two might mean lights out.

FIFA ranks them as #172 and #124.  Togo by a goal on the road today.

RESULT:     no score found           Different sources Noob uses indicate either the game really was slated as yesterday but report no score, or that it’s next month.   

Image result for Benin surprise

 

 

Surprise!!

 

\

And now, bad teams!  Wheeee!

  1. Guayaquil City vs. Independiente del Valle – Ecuador Serie A

Here in the Second Stage of Ecuador’s season, these two are last and second-to-last place.  IdV did well enough in the First Stage that they are not in the bottom two in the season’s aggregate table.  Those two will be Relegated.

QC, however, are last place everywhere you can look.  Noob doesn’t think they can do better than a draw at home today.  Based on GD, de Valle remain a mid-table team probably.

Fun Fact:   Guayquil is home to other top-division clubs — Emelec and Barcelona SC.

RESULT:     ppd

  1. Merreikh Kosti vs. Merreikh Nyala – Sudan Premier

Don’t you quit on Sudan, Noobites!   This is the #7-ranked domestic league in Africa and they consistently love them some Monday matches.

The bottom ten teams are playing in their own Relegation subdivision here in the last part of the regular season.  Four will be automatically dropped.  Last-place Nyala will be one of them, plain and simple.

Kosti play enough defense that from 8th place, they can see murky daylight.  Noob says “murky”, because even if they climb above the auto-cutline, they next two teams in the table will have to play in a Relegation Playout match.

RESULT:     ppd

Image result for Mahdist

 

 

Kosti the town was founded by Greeks at the start of the 20 C.

This was not many years after the native Mahdist regime had been overthrown by Anglos and Egyptians.

  1. Universitatea Cluj vs. Aerostar Bacau – Romania Liga II

With the premier-level leagues in much of the Western World on international break, we delve down a tier in some countries for more Matches of Suckitude.

Bacau are in dead last.  But it’s very early in the season.   If their offense can improve some without sacrificing their mediocre defense, they can climb some in the table.  Can they climb five spots and avoid getting The Boot?  Dubious.

U. Cluj give up very few goals, but they pack it in on D and don’t score much themselves. Midtable and unlikely to climb with that style of play.

RESULT:   U. Cluj   3-2

Fun Fact.  Well, Sort Of:   Bacau went bankrupt in 1993-4, reformed in ’95.

8.  Borac Cacak vs. Sindelic Beograd – Serbia Prva Liga

They’re also only a few matches into the season here in Serbia’s second tier.   Four will get Dropped in a few months.

Right now, Cacak are tied for 12th, right on the line. But so far they’ve displayed the worst offense in the league, so don’t look for them to get out of trouble any time soon.  S.B. are in 5th, another one of these small-ball teams.  Score little, try to give up even less.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for Serbian zebra

 

 

 

Borac Cacak are “The Zebras”

  1. Elva vs. Tartu Santos – Estonia Esiliiga A

Oh, sweet double I’s.  You will never lose your luster to Noob!   That Esiliiga is second-division ball doesn’t mar your shine at all.

Here, two teams will be automatically dropped.  Tartu Santos are just above that line, in 8th, yet not at all out of direct danger.  If they stay there, they’ll have to play a third-tier team for the right to stay in A.

With their subpar defense, Noob would consider them at home no better than an even match for midtable Elva.  And this is at Elva.

Fun Fact:  Tartu the town boasts a professional handball team.  It plays in the second division of pro ball in the country.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. KTP vs. Klubi-04 – Finland Ykkonen

We finish our weekly Track of Sadness with a second northern European league, where the seasons are nearing their ends.

Klubi-04 is at the table bottom, deep, and two will get Relegated.  They’re the only ones who aren’t averaging even a goal per match.  KTP are in 7th, and score very little more than their guests.   This would be a terrible slog of a match to watch.

Fun Fact:   Klubi-o4 are the reserve team for HJK, the best club in all Finland.

RESULT:   Klubi-04   1-3    After a couple weeks without, we have a Relegation Monday miracle!

They’re still in last.  Still sport the worst GD in the league by over 50%.   But that just makes the win all the more miraculous.

Image result for Helsinki weird

 

So long from Helsinki, home of Klubi-o4!

Kamppi Chapel, “The Chapel of Silence”

’10 to Track’ Jetsetting Friday soccer matches – USMNT, El Tri lead the way

Pack a bag and let’s set off!  Lots of fun fact about lots of teams, leagues and their locales await in today’s ten mini-previews.

  1. U.S.A. vs. Brazil – international friendly

We last saw the USMNT in action in a 1-1 draw at who are now World Cup champs France.  Today we see them take on FIFA-ranked #3 in East Rutherford, NJ.   The U.S. is #22.

This and probably several friendlies to come will be primarily used to build experience for the American very young players.  The average one tonight will be under 24 years old.

Christian Pulisic – perhaps our best youngster – has been out with an injury with German Bundesliga club Borussia Dortmund.  Look for Tim Weah to be the name heard most tonight.   (7:30 PM EST, FS1)

RESULT:   Brasil   0-2       no Tim Weah appearance

B.  Mexico vs. Uruguay – international friendly

Mexican goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa is the most experienced player his side will field today, with 95 international appearances.  Otherwise, like with the US team, they will be playing comparative kids.

#16 Mexico impressed in the Group Stage of the World Cup, getting past Germany and into the bracketed Round.  But #5 Uruguay went even farther in the WC, eventually losing a Quaterfinal to France.  (10:08 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Uruguay   1-4

Image result for letter B friendly

 

 

Number B – looking positively friendly!

  1. Portland Thorns vs. Seattle Reign – National Women’s Soccer League

The NWSL playoff clubs are set in name, though not yet in seeding with just one match each to go.

With even a draw, Seattle would clinch the #B seed and home field advantage for the First Round against Portland.

Should Seattle win today, Chicago could pass Portland for #3.   That’s big.  No one wants to play #1 North Carolina Courage to open the playoffs.   (10:00 PM, Lifetime Channel)

Fun Fact:   The Thorns’ crest is designed to look somewhat similar in part to the Portland city flag.

RESULT:   Portland   3-1      Lindsey Horan with a pair of a scores.   Portland will be the #B seed for the Playoffs, hosting #3 Seattle.

  1. Italy vs. Poland – UEFA Nations League

Scroll down to the Midweek Edition just below this post to see particulars on this new international event.

This should be a very even match, though advantage to the Italians since it’s at their place.  FIFA ranks the teams as #12 and #18.  UEFA currently ranks them in the confederation as #8 and #9.  Poland was actually ranked higher by UEFA than Italy at the start of the Group Stage of the World Cup, which is what was used for seeding this event.

Nothing in that last paragraph matters too much on the field today though.   (2:45 PM, ESPN2)

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for angry italian supporters

 

 

Fun Fact:   Italians are still feeling strongly about missing the last World Cup.

  1. Pittsburgh Riverhounds vs. Bethlehem Steel – United Soccer League

With frequent flyer miles to burn, Noob brings us back stateside for second-division action.

3rd place hosts 6th in this Eastern Conference Keystone State battle.  Or is that Massachusetts?  Noob’s not going to look it up, live with the mystery.   I wonder which state consumes the most Keystone Light?  I wonder if Keystone Light would sponsor Noob?  I have no pride, would shill for anyone.

Top eight in each conference make the Playoffs.  No one’s catching Cinci, but Pitt only trail defending champs Louisville by a point in the table.  Small ball’s worked for them this year.  Low scores for everyone.  The visiting Steel take the opposite tack.

Fun Fact:   Pitt’s all-time leading season scorer was from Saint Lucia.

RESULT:   Pitt   4-1       

  1. Basford United vs. Staveley Miners Welfare – England FA Cup

This is the first match of the third round of the tournament.   English folks would say the event doesn’t really start for a long while yet, when the Premier League teams have entered the fray.  But we’re still paying attention.  It’s fun to learn about the teams and leagues farther down the pyramid there.

Basford play in the seventh level of said pyramid.  Teams below that really don’t have much chance to be Minnow, make the “tournament proper” and try for a deeper run.  This team plays in the Premier Division of the Northern Premier League, and are based out of suburban Nottingham.   Early this league season, they’re #B in their table.

Staveley MW are in 6th place in the Northern Counties East League, tier nine.  They’re visiting today for this one-off match, but are from the Derbyshire area.  Noob liberally handicaps them as a two-goal underdog today.

RESULT:   Staveley   1-3

Image result for basford United crest

  1. Guyana vs. Barbados – CONCACAF Nations League qualification

Like with the UEFA version above, scroll down to the Midweek Edition below for some details on this event, also a new one.

These two national teams are ranked #16 and #22 within the federation.  Strangely, FIFA ranks Barbados as the stronger team (#160 versus #182).

Fun Fact:  Hindi, of all things, is one of the prominent languages of Guyana.

RESULT:   2-2      It’s possible this match was actually played yesterday.

  1. Cruz Azul vs. Pumas UNAM – Liga MX Femenil

Noob almost feels sort of bad.  Usually on Fridays we jetset around to soccer hinterlands less known.

There are just so many interesting things happening in North American region and Western Europe…they can’t be ignored.  We have our priorities, Noobites.  More, we’ll actually visit a pretty broad spectrum of locales on Relegation Monday.  Noob has plans, such tremendous plans.

Mexico’s top women’s league is divided into two Groups.  These two are last place and 4th in one of those.  Cruz Azul and the other group’s bottom-feeder (Necaxa) are the only two winless clubs now.

Pumas have only scored four times and conceded two goals in their first six matches.  This would not be a fun game to watch, in Noob’s opinion.  But now we know a little bit more about our soccer world, and that is the point.

RESULT:   Pumas   0-2

Image result for cruz azul football women funny

 

 

 

Fun Fact:   Noob did not create this.  This is a real marketing image for Cruz Azul.

Kinda AIDSy.

  1. Longford Town vs. Cork City – FAI Cup (Ireland)

Longford Town are one of two teams of eight remaining not from the Premier League here.   They play in the next division down, and are merely midtable there.

Cork City are starting to look like they won’t quite successfully defend their 2017 Premier League title, sitting #B in that league.  Still, they’ll be more than a handful for their hosts today.  Cork by a couple.

Fun Fact:  The town of Longford is noted for its many single-chambered megalithic tombs, known as “portals dolmens”.

RESULT:   Cork   0-7      Longford were already down 0-2 at 39′ when they lost a player to a straight red.   Kieran Sadler had a pair of goals.

  1. Parnu vs. Minsk – Baltic Women’s League

We’re finally treading a bit further afield!

This league is a standalone, meaning its results have no bearing on any other events of any sort.  The competing clubs are the top two finishers from last year’s top women’s flights in Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania.  They’ve also thrown in one from Belarus for spice.

Noob thinks they’ll each just play each other once, except for clubs from the same county not playing one another at all.

Gintra Universitateas from Lithuania are the defending champs, but it’s today’s visitors that are running away with the title.   Minsk (Belarus) have one all five matches and have a 27-0 GD working.  Good LAWD.  Estonian Parnu JK are in 3rd.

RESULT:   Minsk   0-6

Image result for Parnu weird

 

So long from the Viking Spa Hotel in Parnu!

Town is renowned as a tourist destination.

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – an exhausted Noob says “mea culpa” for late Tuesday entry

Note:  Match previews and the usual inanity are now UP through Thursday.   And for Noob’s mea culpa, I have included two bonus match-previews.  Oh ho, you’re so welcome, interwebs!

Noob is human.  And so this is the latest into a day of matches I’ve ever posted a mini-previews.  16 hours on the job last night, I just couldn’t hold thoughts together long enough in last  night’s wee hours.

But this is a reason only, never an excuse.  If you’re interested and kind enough to be here, then Noob has happy obligation.

There were some interesting CAF Champions League matches earlier in the day.  Activate your Google powers to see how the end of the Group Stage of that event turned out.   Noob will pass on “previewing” them after the fact, start today with a match just in progress as I write.

  1. Bayern Munich vs. Chicago Fire – international friendly

Bayern are one of the best clubs in the world.  Chicago have been a line of port-o’-potties conflagration all MLS season.

Noob’s perfectly confused as to why this match is happening and at this time of season for both.  Bundesliga is just beginning and Chicago aren’t hoping to play up to this level of competition and suddenly become competent.  If they are, they are fools.   Let us not suffer such gladly.

RESULT:   Bayern   4-0

Image result for dumpster fire funnyNoob originally wrote “dumpster Fire” for the pun.

Noobites, never travel in a straight line.  And never settle 🙂

B.  Reno 1868 vs. Las Vegas Lights – United Soccer League

El Clasico.  El Trafico.  The Hudson River Derby.   Meet “The Gamblers Anonymous Derby”.  Help Noob in getting this one to catch on.

How?  Oh, I’ve no idea.

Reno are fighting for their playoff lives -tied for 6th – in the Western Conference.  Top eight will get to the postseason.  Clubs are really clumped in this part of the table.  Neither team has won in their last four outings.

RESULT:   Reno   2-1       Reno with the game-winner at 90′

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Don’t you turn your back on Noob, Number B.  I made you!

Just because you didn’t like my derby name idea.   But I’m hurt, not angry.

  1. Tigres UANL vs. Morelia – Liga MX Femenil

Mexico’s women’s league plays two separate divisions.  These two are #B and #6 in theirs.

UANL is an offensive sight to behold.  Here in the early season goings, they’re averaging three goals per match.  Meanwhile, Morelia haven’t even managed to average one per contest.

RESULT:   Tigres   4-0

Wednesday

  1. D.C. United vs. Philadelphia Union – Major League Soccer

Since all-time great English striker Wayne Rooney came over to D.C. well into the season, they’ve been climbing out of the basement of the Eastern Conference.  Now in 8th – two spots out of a playoff berth – they finally were beaten.  There’s no shame in losing to #B New York Red Bulls on the road.

Still, if United are to really make the postseason, they’re going to have to beat some actual playoff-caliber sides.  They didn’t have to over their win streak.  They get another shot at one today.

The Union are in 5th and achieved some space between themselves and Montreal and New England with a win against the latter last time out.  Those three are realistically the ones fighting for the East’s last two postseason slots.

Philly’s Jamaican keeper Andre Blake has led the team to two consecutive shutouts.  He’s been anything but consistent this season.  But if he can be now, Blake can lean on excellent right side of his back line and focus himself more on the left, they will make the Playoffs.   (8:00 PM EST, ESPN+)

RESULT:   Philly   0-2       Charles Sapong with a goal and an assist

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“I beg of you, Noobites, how may I better keep goal and please you?”

  1. PAOK vs. Benfica – UEFA Champions League

Last year’s league runners-up meet for the second leg of their “Playoff Round” two-legged tie.  This is the last “qualification round” before the Group Stage, where the competition proper is said to really begin.

We Tracked the first match between this two.  PAOK went to Portugal, earned a 1-1 draw.  On paper, Benfica are the better side, coming from the stronger league.  But now they need to at least return the favor and earn a road draw of their own just to force penalty kicks.  And it can’t be just a scoreless draw, since PAOK scored at their place (away-goals being a tiebreaker).   (3:00 PM, Galavision)

RESULT:   Benfica   1-4

  1. Juarez vs. Toluca – Copa MX

The Apertura (first half-season) Cup tournament in Mexico chugs forward.  All the Liga MX teams and the ten best from the second-division Ascenso league have been playing double-Round Robins in their groups of three.  All the Group winners plus most of the runners-up will advance to the Knockout Stage.

Juarez are currently #B in the Ascenso, playing masterful defense.  This is their fourth and final match.  They’re unlikely to catch Tijuana and win the Group, but are very much alive to advance a a runner-up.

Toluca are in 8th in Liga MX right now.  The defense hasn’t been good, but the same has been true of nearly everyone there this season, strangely.  They’ve lost both their Copa Matches so far.  Still, if they wake up, they could storm back and advance as a runner-up.

Noob likes Juarez to kick the ball waaaaaay up into the air as early and often as possible, secure a low-scoring draw today.  That would eliminate Toluca.   (10:00 PM, ESPN Deportes)

RESULT:   2-2      Amaury Escoto of Toluca with the match’s first and last goals.   The latter came at 90′, a few minutes after his team went down a man due to a red card.

  1. Jeonbuk vs. Suwon Bluewings – AFC Champions League

Fun Fact:   This is the second year in a row that the defending title-holders are not in the event.  Urawa Red Diamonds out of Japan did not qualify this year.  The year before, Jeonbuk were disqualified over match-fixing.  Nawteeeeee.

Today’s match if the first of a two-legged Quarterfinal tie.  Defending South Korean league champs Jeonbuk take on their league peers who finished in 3rd.  Jeonbuk have already mathematically wrapped up the 2018 league title as well.  Meanwhile, Suwon are in 4th, need a surge there to crack the top three and qualify for this event next year.

Noob thinks the home side today will win by two.  Anything short of that and it’s a moral victory for the Bluewings.

RESULT:   Suwon   0-3       Bluewings told Noob to stow it with talk of a moral victory – WOW!

Image result for The Situation abs

 

“Just say Urawa Red Diamonds and I’m -back-!

As #1 supporter and (unofficial) spokesman, it’s my job to jump out and point at my abs. 

I wish Urawa was better this year, getting Tracked.  I desire to remind people where the sushi still goes.”

The Situation, everyone!

  1. Barcelona SC vs. CSD Macara – Ecuador Serie A

Noob finished today’s portion of the Midweek Track with my addiction – #1 versus #B matchups!   It doesn’t matter that this isn’t Brazil or Argentina.  Top two-top flite matches – Noob wishes to mainline them.  Sweet, sweet footyball fixxxxxx.

In truth, it must be admitted Macara are unlikely to remain near the table’s top.  They’ve overachieved here early in the season, are really of just midtable ability.  That will become clearer today.  Barcelona are the best in the league on both sides of the ball.   (7:3o PM, GOL TV)

RESULT:   1-1      Weird one.   Both teams lost players to red cards right at end of first half.

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Well, maybe not over Ecuadorian footyball.

 

Thursday

  1. Cuba vs. Bermuda – CONCACAF women’s World Cup qualification

Reminder:  This event is really the CONCACAF Women’s Championship.  It dually serves as WC quals.  And then they pass the savings on to YOU, Noobites.

Five teams from the Caribbean Zone survives the first round of qualifying, winning their pods.  Now those are battling in one single Group, out of which the top three will advance.  They’ll play a single round robin.  All matches are in Jamaica.

Cuba’s offense last stage was only exceeded by Trinidad and Tobago.  They’re in 3rd after two matches in this Round.   Bermuda’s only played once, an 0-4 loss to Jamaica. They didn’t exactly wow anyone last Round, with just a 6-4 GD.  Their FIFA rankings are #85 and #115, respectively.  Cuba should be favored by a goal at this neutral site affair.

RESULT:   Cuba   2-0

  1. Universitario vs. Herediano – CONCACAF League

Now we shift to the men’s game for our federation.  16 teams from the Central American and Caribbean zones play this knockout tournament to determine one entrant into the 2019 CONCACAF Champions League.

This is the second leg of a Quarterfinal match.  It shouldn’t be much of one, really.  Herediano out of Costa Rica should easily be a two-goal favorite, even on the road.  They won the first match 3-0.  Universitario aren’t even one of the ten best teams from Panama.

To give a sense of perspective, Herediano would be among the very favorites to win MLS.  Panamanian side Universitario might make the Playoffs.

The winner of this tie will advance to face Arabe Unido, the best team in Panama.

RESULT:   Herediano   1-2

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Perspective is a funny thing.

  1. Sweden vs. Ukraine – UEFA women’s World Cup qualification

This is the Group Stage of a tournament to determine eight qualifiers for the 2019 World Cup.  And it’s nearly done.

The seven Group winners will all make WC.   The four best runners-up will then play a mini-tournament for one more invite.

With two matches to go, Sweden and Denmark are tied on points in the table, the former leading by just one in goal differential.  The runner-up from this bunch is likely to make the Playoff at least.   Ukraine are mathematically alive for possibly making the Playoff.  Barely.

These two are 11th and 24th-ranked by FIFA.    There’s less parity in the women’s game, so that’s a massive gulf.  Sweden will win, and by multiple goals wouldn’t be even a little surprising.

RESULT:   Sweden   3-0       And only because they let up after the half.

  1. Libertad vs. Boca Juniors – Copa Libertadores

South America’s Champions League is in it’s Round of 16.  Two-legged ties for everyone!

Seeding was based exclusively on Group Stage results.  Argentina’s Boca Juniors are #14, Libertad out of Paraguay #3.   But those numbers are misleading and then some.  Boca J won the first leg 2-0 at home.  And if today’s match were the first leg, Libertad would still be doing well do get a draw.

The winner of the tie will get one of two Brazilian teams, Cruziero or Flamengo.   (6:30 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:    Juniors   1-2

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So long from Asuncion, Paraguay, home of Club Libertad!

Castillo Pindu