Tag: Liga MX

‘10 to Track’ for Sat., 4/27 – from MLS and Liga MX to Europe and beyond, it’s a Noobstradamus-day!

Noobstradamus, did you hit the Sativa instead of the Indica?   It’s a tidal wave today of prognostication excellence (*cough cough*) from our resident ancient seer!

Here are the 10 most important games to track today, for us, the newish American fans.

  1. New England Revolution  vs Sporting Kansas City – MLS

KC has a five-point lead in the West, but the next two behind them have played two fewer games.   Things will tighten up. The Revs are in 4th in the East, a far sight better than last season.

Noob looks for the high-powered Kansas City side to score early and often.  New England’s defense is solid, but KC lead the entire league in goals made.       (7:30 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 6)

RESULT:   New England   1-0

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Why hate when I can prognosticate?

1-2 Kansas City is the today’s future.

 

B.    Orlando Pride vs Seattle Thorns- NWSL

Noobstradamus says 0-1, Seattle over Swanp City.  Down with bad urban planning!

RESULT:   1-1

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I foresee Number B replacing that archaic Number to in lists, thanks to this quest.  Archaic things, meh!

Wait, I’m archaic…

 

3.  Tigres vs. Monterrey – Liga MX

Both have qualified for the postseason Liguilla heading into this final regular season match.  But seeding is still very much in the air.  They are 4th and 3rd now, but either could jump to #B with a win tonight.

Tigres will try to keep the pace slow.  They can’t take Monterrey in a goal-fest.   Noobstradamus sees all, sees a 1-1 draw.  (8:00 PM, Univision)

RESULT:   2-2

4.  Inter Milan vs Juventus – Serie A

Juve is only a point up on #B Napoli.  Inter is in 5th, just outside the Champions League slots.  But they trail the next two teams up by just one in the table.  Juve are better on both sides of the ball, and loads better on offense.    (2:45 PM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:   Juve   2-3    Good LAWD!   Juve was watching their title slip away, down 2-1 with three minutes plus added time to go.  They scored twice more before 90′.

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Inter will run out of gas now and going forward.   0-1 Juve today

5.  Bayer Leverkusen vs Stuttgart – Bundesliga

Will the pressure get to Leverkusen?  They’re 4th, barely in a CL slot  they SHOULD handle 10th place Stuttgart.  (12:30 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   Stuttgart   0-1

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2-1 Leverkusen.  Stuttgart is German for “stuttering child”.  You don’t need other-worldly powers to see their going to lose.

The Management here:  Noobstra-dumbass doesn’t know German.

6.  Swansea vs Chelsea – English Premier

Four matches to go and 5th place Chelsea still trails #4, Noob-reviled Hotspur by five points in the table.

Meanwhile, Swansea are fighting for their Premier lives at the other end of the standings.  They’re only one slot above the Relegation line, though at least they have a four-point lead on the next club down.  They can’t score.  They have the best defense among the league’s worst teams, but that’s quite the qualifier.   (12:30 PM, Universo)

RESULT:   Chelsea   0-1

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1-3 Chelsea.

I also predict Hotspur will  be Relegated for being named for a historic traitor.

7.  Lyon vs Nantes – Ligue 1

Hiccup Watch match for #3 Lyon. France only gets three into CL nowadays   Pummeling #9 Nantes will give them relief.   Noobstradamus says Lyon 3-0.

RESULT:   Lyon   2-0

8.  Herediano vs Saprissa – Costa Rica Premier

The top two collide in the postseason!  Noobstradamus predicts concussions.  Ouch.

RESULT:   Herediano   1-0

9.  Sendai vs. Sapporo – J 1 League

The Management must be given his Japan-fix.   The league is just far enough in now for Noob to pay attention.

Noobstradamus has no score prediction, but prognosticates The Management will today bring up in conversation a culturally subversive animated show from there that features an office worker Red Panda that fights off existential ennui by performing in a death metal band at night.

Noob isn’t kidding.  It’s so disorienting, all I can do is figuratively projectile-vomit out number #10 – Reno and OKC in USL action.  Reno scores LOTS. They’ll win…14-3 today. Maybe.

RESULTS:   J1 League match ends 2-2;  Reno   2-0

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Globetrotting Friday (4/27) from MLS, around the world, ending in Paradise

The world is a big place.  There’s always a few soccer matches important for us, the newish American fans, to follow each day.  And so it is now, on a Friday.

But it’s hard to fill the Track with good ones from our usual leagues.  So we Trot the Globe!   We’ll start in familiar locales, but soon be on a magical footyball adventure.  Lace your boots tight, Noobites!

  1. Vancouver Whitecaps vs. Real Salt Lake – MLS

The best (ok, only) Major League Soccer game today!  They may not be quite title contenders, but a quarter of the way into the season they’re in the last two playoff spots (#6, #5) in the Western standings.

Let’s put the spotlight on RSL, since they didn’t make the playoffs in ’17.  What’s changed for them this year?  Defense.  It’s not lights out, but it’s better.  And truth be told, it wasn’t that awful last season.   Their goal differential looked more like teams’ from further up the table.

More importantly, though, is what hasn’t changed for them this year.  They are still “Real” – royal!   Few things get Noob’s dander up like homages to royalty we don’t have here!  ‘Muricuh!   So today, it’s “Go, Canadia!”   (10:30 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 6)

RESULT:   Vancouver   2-0

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“The Weirdness of King George”

Quickly-rejected movie script idea.

 

B.  Tijuana vs. Toluca – Liga MX

Time for the final round of regular season matches in the Clausura (second half-season) in Mexico!   One must love the format.  Only 17 games means a tight table.  Toluca have wrapped up the #1 seed for the Liguilla (postseason playoffs) already, so it will be interesting to see if the rest starters for this one.

Tijuana would love love love to face a reserve side.  They are in 8th – the last playoff spot.  They could jump to as high as 6th with a win tonight.  If they get a draw or lose, as many as three four teams could pass them, ending their season.

These two sport the stingiest defenses in the league.  Tijuana doesn’t score enough for this to be any better than an even matchup at home.  Unless Toluca plays their water boys and equipment managers.

RESULT:   Tijuana   1-0     Success!  This pushes them to 6th, and guarantees them a Liguilla slot.

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Toluca might get lazy like Number B.

  1. Las Vegas Lights vs. San Antonio – USL

Your ‘Muricuhn soccer undercard comes from out West as well.  Las Vegas Lights are a new expansion team.  They’re just in 10th right now, but that’s largely a product of scheduling.  They’ve only played four matches so far, while other clubs have had as many as eight.  The success they’ve had in limited action so far has been founded on defense.  That’s a bit unusual for a new club, and a good sign.

San Antonio are in 12th, with six games under their big-buckle belts.  They have trouble scoring, haven’t done so their last two games.  That includes an 0-3 beat down they suffered hosting Orange County FC.

RESULT:   San Antonio   1-3

  1. Tapachula vs. Universidad de Guadalajara – Ascenso MX

Noob has been derelict in his duty to you, newish American soccer fans.  As we learn the world game together, I’ve tried to keep our eyes close to home, then on  England, continental Europe, South America and beyond.   I’ve been remiss in ignoring the second-division league in the best soccer country in North and Latin Amerca.  Mea culpa.

Just like Liga MX, there are 16 teams, eight of which make the Liguilla there.  Their annual season is likewise divided into separate Apertura and Clausura seasons.  And their seasons start a little earlier than Liga MX.  So…

Welcome to the Liguilla Final!!   This will be a two-legged tie.  As the higher seed from the regular season results (#3), UdG will host the second match.  Tapachula barely squeaked in at all (#8).  They have issues on defense, yet at home give UdG all they can handle and maybe more.

RESULT:   Tapachula   1-0

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  1. 1899 Hoffenheim vs. Hannover 96 – Bundesliga

This match makes the Track strictly based on Hoffenheim’s position.  And it’s a Hiccup Watch game.  Hannover is in 12th, ho-humming their way through the end of the season.

The Hoff are in 5th, one slot and two points outside a Champions League berth.  And two clubs are hot on their tail, in turn.  They’re better than their guests and shouldn’t struggle.   Unless the pressure is too much.

RESULT:   Hoffenheim   3-1   This puts the Hoff in 4th for the moment.  Most league teams have now played one fewer game than them.

  1. Newcastle Jets vs. Melbourne City – Australia A-League

As the regular season #B finisher, Newcastle got a bye into the league playoff Semifinals.  #3 Melbourne City topped #6 Brisbane Roar to get here.  This is a Knockout playoff format, one match only.  The winner likely gets Sydney FC and loses badly.

RESULT:   Newcastle   2-1

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It’s time for kangaroo-boxing.

Noob has no reason.  Noob needs no reason.

  1. Tishreen vs. Al Ittihad – Syria Premier

Welcome back to the Track, #14 league in Asia!  That’s just above the 1/3 line, right between Malaysia and India (cricketheads).

With just eight matches to go, #4 Tishreen has no real chance of catching #1 Ittihad for the league’s only Champions League invite.  That said, this match is a tossup today, INHO.  Ittihad lead Al-Jaish by just two in the table.

Fun Fact:  Tishreen means October or November in Arabic. The months then are distinguished by indicating First or Second Tishreen.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Wad Hashim Sennar vs. Merreikh El-Fasher – Sudan Premier

5th-best league in Africa.  Would get a touch more regular coverage if Noob spread his interest and gaze equally over the globe.

Sudan this year has divided its league into two Groups.  The top four of each of these eight it appears make a title playoff.  WHS are just a point on the wrong side of that line in theirs.  Al-Fasher are #B, and Noobstradamus thinks they’ve been overachieving!

I tossed some pepperoni slices into the air.  When they fell, I divined today’s result by meditating on them severely, like over animal entrails in ancient times.  Sennar is destined for victory.  2-0.

RESULT:   WHS   2-0   

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Crystal balls are a bunch of poppycock.

  1. Kiyovu Sports vs. Miroplast – Rwanda National League

Rwanda’s league is ranked in the top half of CAF, if not by much.  They’re about halfway through the season there, and Kiyovu Sport are #4 in one heckuva tight table.  Well, tight at the top.   They should handle Relegation candidates Miroplast with ease.

Fun Fact:  Kiyovu are the only team in RNL history to go undefeated (1990).

RESULT:   Kiyovu   2-0

  1. St. Nevis and Kitts vs Jamaica – international friendly

Where better place to end the Track then in the Caribbean.  Relax.  Rest up for the midweek Edition coming tomorrow.  Have a ginger ale.  Grab a chair.

Noob’s still learning every day, even with close-ish to home-footyball.  Jamaica’s men’s national team is rated #48 in the world and fourth-best in CONCACAF.  There’s a steep dropoff between them and #3 Costa Rica, but still!  St. Nevis and Kitts are #13 in the confederation, FIFA #126.

RESULT:   Jamaica   1-3

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’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Saturday (4/21) – MLS, UEFA leagues, bad Zlatan-wear

The ten most important matches for us, the newish American fans.  Things go from important to absolutely paramount in Europe when the seasons are hitting their climaxes.

Before we get to those – ‘Muricuh!

  1. L.A. Galaxy vs. Atlanta United – MLS

What a different a year can make!   The talk if the league is the Galaxy’s signing of international megastar striker Zlatan Ibrahimovich, but it’s actually their defense that has that #B in the West.

Atlanta United will test that defense.  They’re #3 in the tougher Eastern Conference.  The game kicks off 9:00 PM Eastern on NBA League Pass 6.

RESULT:   ATL   0-2

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Now that he’s in L.A., I guess he can stop wearing crazy lady’s gift sweater.

B.  Columbus Crew vs. New England Revolution – MLS

Your Major League Soccer undercard pits the #4 team in the East against #3.  The Revs have improved their defense after missing the playoffs last season.  They’d been on quite a roll until getting skunked at home by Dallas.

Columbus have been skunkier though, not scoring in consecutive matches and losing three straight.  But they’ve been creating chances, getting a little unlikely hitting wood repeatedly.  Noob strongly feels the Crew will right their ship today.   (7:30 PM, NBA League Pass 7)

RESULT:   2-2

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Number B, about to learn a hard lesson about skunkiness.

  1. North Carolina Courage vs. Utah Royals – NWSL

The good news for expansion Utah – they’ve only allowed two goals in three matches.  The bad news – they’ve only scored once.  The worse news – they travel to defending regular season champions Courage today.   (3:30 PM, Lifetime)

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Necaxa vs. UANL Tigres – Liga MX

Tigres are tied for 3rd with just three Clausura (second half-season) matches to go, but they have yet to secure a top-eight, postseason Liguilla spot.  Tigres are part of a three-way tie for 9th place, just a point shy of 8th.

Neither team gives up many goals.  If you like defense, this one is available to ogle at 10:00 PM on ESPN Deportes.

RESULT:   1-1

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The Mexican Hornet Defense.

Really, it’s called that.

  1. Manchester United vs. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur – FA Cup

Noob-reviled, traitorously-named Hotspur face off against Man Utd in the Semifunal, at Wembley (neutral). Man U’s  slight edge on defense  should make them a winner today.  (12:15 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Man U   2-1

  1. Barcelona vs. Sevilla – Copa del Rey

It’s the Final!  Sevilla have had a tremendous run in Spain’s FA Cup, especially given that they’re only in 7th in La Liga.  That run ends today in Madrid, and won’t end well for them.  Barcelona have yet to lose a league match all year.  Barca by two feels right.   (3:30 PM, ESPNEWS)

RESULT:   Barca   5-0

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  1. RB Leipzig vs. 1899 Hoffenheim – Bundesliga

With four matches to go, that is also the number of points by which Leipzig trail 4th place Borussia Dortmund for the league’s last Champions League invite.  Hoffenheim (and Frankfurt) in turn only trail Leipzig by a point.

Leipzig are hardly falling apart, but Hoffenheim are peaking at the perfect time.  They’ve not lost in seven straight matches.  If they can push the ball today, a pivotal road win should be in their grasp.   (9:30 AM, Fox Soccer Plus)

RESULT:   Hoffenheim   2-5     Hoffenheim move into 5th

  1. SPAL 2013 vs. AS Roma – Serie A

Roma, Lazio, and Inter – one’s not going to Champions League.  The race for the last two of the four CL slot Italy is tight and then some.  Roma and Lazio are tied, with Inter lurking just a point behind.

SPAL are only one slot above the Relegation Zone, so they are not without a reason to fight.  They can’t score in general, and they’re unlikely to against defensive juggernaut Roma.   (9:00 AM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:  Roma 0-3

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Meaning?  No clue.

Terrified?  You betcha.

  1. Shakhtar Donetsk vs. Vorskla – Ukraine Premier

This the #8 league in Europe, a real rising power, getting two CL berths this year.  They’ve replaced Poland as Noob’s under-the-radar league to watch.

Shakhtar are the goal-scoring giant here.  Vorskla are in 3rd, and have overachieved in getting there.  They won’t score today, get run roughshod over.

RESULT:   S.D.   4-2

  1. Phoenix Rising vs. Swope Park Rangers – USL

Noob loves him some second-tier footyball.  On the weekend, though, usually their matches give way to top-flight leagues.  I’d scouted a sweet UAE match with which to finish today’s Track, but Al Nasr has since fallen out of the top quarter of their league table.  Denied!

These both made the playoffs last year.  Just a handful of games into this season, they’re in position again.  That said, Rangers appear to have fallen off defensively.  A lot.  Noobstradamus says Phoenix’s offensive will finally break out, net them a 3-1 win today.

RESULT:   2-2

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Phoenix Rising are about to get hot.  But it’ll be a dry heat.

’10 to Track’ for Globetrotting Friday (4/13) – from Liga MX to…Macau?

Noob is travelling 600 miles for a wedding this weekend.  Yet how many frequent miles are we going to collect trotting the globe for our footyball fix today?   So, so many more.

We start the Ten today close to home, then flit away to soccer hinterlands!

  1. Vancouver Whitecaps vs. LAFC – MLS

So far it looks like MLS’ one expansion team this season – LAFC – is fortunate to be a Western Conference club.  The East looks much stronger.  Still, being a shiny new team and having made the biggest signing of the season gets their game the #1 slot in today’s Track.

Despite finishing 3rd in their conference last season, Vancouver looked merely average last season.  This season the number seems similar, yet there they are in #B (though it’s early).

RESULT:   LAFC   0-2

B.  Philadelphia Union vs. Orlando City – MLS

Your MLS undercard is two teams that didn’t make the playoffs last year.   Orlando, at least, are playing better this young season, in the top six.  Philly isn’t scoring or allowing much, and the strategy isn’t working for them so far.

But remember!  The most important thing is to never, ever root for a Swamp City team.  Looking at you, Orlando.  In the words of the philosophy’s founder, The Management: “Orlando is a giant strip mall raised out of the swamp by a bunch of mice-men.”

We look forward to your comments, central Floridians!  (8:00 PM, ESPN)

RESULT:   Orlando   0-2

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Get to higher ground – like Georgia.  Can root for Atlanta Utd. then at least.

  1. Tijuana vs. Guadalajara – Liga MX

Guadalajara just advanced to the CONCACAF Champions League final a couple nights ago.  Yet they’re only in 15th in Liga MX.  While only three points out of eighth and a postseason playoff (Liguilla) berth, they just have too many teams to jump in their last three matches.

Tijuana are in a three-way tie for 7th.  They’re the best of those three.  Plus, it will be interesting to see of the Quad Squad doesn’t rotate some back-ups in, save up for the first leg of the CCL Final in four days.  (10:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Tijuana   3-0

  1. Hamrun Spartans vs. Lija Athletic – Malta Premier

Historically strategic militarily?  You betcha!  Soccer powerhouse?   Well… the league ranks 47 out of 55 in Europe.  Yet this is why we trot the globe.

Malta’s top league has been dominated by three teams through the years.   These ain’t them.  Hamrun are a middling team.  Lija will be trotting back down to the country’s second division forthwith.  They’ve won just one game all season.

Fun Fact:  Longtime Spartan Stefan Sultana is the league’s all-time leading scorer, with 252 goals.

RESULT:   1-1

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His stare and jawline are responsible for 159 of the goals.

  1. Gjilani vs. Feronikeli – Kosovo Super League

Kosovo’s is UEFA’s newest league.   They rank last, technically because they just haven’t accumulated any international play-points.  It’s still probably realistic.  Let’s get to know the new neighbors!

Drita lead the league.  While not running away with it, they’re only very close competition is Prishtina, which is the best club from the former Yugoslavian league to play in Kosovo’s.  These two featured today are 7th and 5th-place.

Fun Facts:  The city Gjilan has a pop. of over 50,000 and over 90,000 in the municipality.  Their stadium seats an impressive 10,000.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Ismaily vs. Al Masry – Egypt Premier

Africa’s highest-ranked league sports a fine matchup today.  #B hosts #4 in a battle for the league’s second CAF Champions League berth.  (Historic powerhouse Al Ahly has already claimed 1st place).

Ismaily is eight points up on their guests, but only six up on the team in between.  They’ve not lost since mid-February.  Al Masry has only lost twice since 2018 began.

RESULT:     ppd

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One of Ismaily’s club nicknames is “The Mango”.

Maybe not the Chris Kattan-Mango…

  1. Al Anwar vs. Al Hilal – Libya Premier

Libya’s top league is ranked 14th, and that’s not awful.  The top dozen earn two invites to CL.  The league is divided into four Groups for much of the season.  The winners of each will play off to determine who earns berths into CL and Confederation Cup (Africa’s version of Europa League).

They’re only a few games into their season, but Hilal are #B and just three points out of 1st.  Anwar is 4th, doesn’t seem to score enough to look like a threat.

  1. Guangzhou Evergrande vs. Shangahi Shenhua – Chinese Super League

Time for Asia’s #1 league!   The season there is just five games old.   Last year’s champ, Evergrande, is #B.  Shenhua is an interesting case.  They only finished 11th last year, yet won the country’s FA Cup.  Currently they are in 4th.

RESULT:   2-2

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  1. Tak Chun Ka I vs. CPK – Macau Liga de Elite

Macau is a tiny little city near Hong Kong, an autonomous region in and of China.  Well, tiny in geographic size.  It’s 650,000 residents make it the most densely-populated place in the world.  Their league is ranked #35 out of 46 in Asia.  These are the #5 and #B teams in their young season.

Fun Fact:  Ka I won the league three straight years, 2012-14.

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Safa vs. Al Akhaa Al Ahli – Lebanon Premier

We finish the Track with the #21 league in Asia.  These two are 3rd and 4th-place, respectively.  They’re both way behind the top two in the table.

Fun Fact:  Safa are the club supported by the Druze ethno-religious of the country.  Theirs is a faith that descents from a branch of Islam, though is not generally thought of as Islamic.

RESULT:    AAAA   1-2

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A flowchart from druzenet

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Globetrotting Friday! Quality football, a Bob Ross appearance, and The Management hurts Noob’s feelings

We’ve got a super-solid lineup for “the ten most important matches to follow for the newish American fan”, especially considering it’s a Friday!

Fear not.  By Track’s end, we’ll still Globetrot for one unusual desitination.  Until then, enjoy the weirdest soccer previewing on the interblag.

  1. New England Revolution vs. Montreal Impact – MLS

Both these clubs missed the Playoffs last season.  But they’ve each won two out of four early for promising starts.

Noob doesn’t think either have the offense to stay in the top half of the Eastern Conference standings.  Which might prove me wrong today though?  (7:30 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 8)

RESULT:   New England   4-0    Montreal lost a player to a red card pretty early.

Nostalgia time —

B.  England vs. Wales – women’s World Cup qualification (UEFA)

Wales are 3-1-0 in this Group.  All three of their wins have been 1-0 (or 0-1).

England, meanwhile, are 3-0-0 and have outscored their opponents 15-zilch.  Wales make qualify for World Cup by finishing #B in this bunch, but they’ll be dragon soup today.

RESULT:   0-0     no soup for Noob

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Danger!  Number B about to be carried away by dragon over soup-threat!

  1. Cardiff City vs. Wolverhampton Wanderers – English Championship

The top two face off in England’s second division!  If they finish as such (likely), they’ll both be automatically promoted to Premier League next season.  Still, Fulham and Aston Villa aren’t that far back of Cardiff, so they’re still plenty motivated.

To win today, Cardiff will have to control the pace.  They play the best defense in that league.  WW have the best offense though.

RESULT:   Wolverhampton   0-1

  1. Puebla vs. Pachuca – Liga MX

Puebla are in a three-way tie for the last two spots in the table that will make the postseason Liguilla (playoffs).

Pachuca are only two points behind them, but have to leap several teams to make the top eight themselves.  Noob’s nowhere near convinced their wide-open style/Swiss cheese defense (though good offense) can get it done today.  (8:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Pachuca   2-6      Of course, Noob could be mistaken…

Image result for soccer swiss cheese

  1. Waterford vs. Cork City – Irish Premier

Promoted to Premier this season, Waterford continue to impress.  They’re tied for #B in the table, just a point off Cork City’s pace.   They don’t score anywhere near enough to likely stay there, but it’s fun to see new blood near the top for now.

RESULT:   Waterford   2-1    Waterford move into a tie for 1st.  4 red cards were issued in the final minute of regulation.  

  1. France vs. Nigeria –women’s international friendly

World Cup tuneup!   Maybe it’s a little early to call it that, since the women’s isn’t until 2019.    But France are automatically in as the host nation (and would qualify anyway, trust me).    Africa’s qualification tournament doesn’t start until summer, but Nigeria is one of that federation’s four strongest.  So tuneup, says I!

RESULT:   France   8-0     Apparently Nigeria tuned out

Image result for you're a little weird

 

 

 

 

Noob can relate.  Thanks, Bob.

  1. Sporting Charleroi vs. Anderlecht – Belgian First Division A

Belgium’s top league has divided into Championship and Relegation subdivisions now. These two finished the regular season #B and #3, but Gent has now passed them both.  Since Belgium only gets two berths into Champions League, this is a vital match for both sides.

Charleroi better start finding the back of the net again.  They’re in a drought.

RESULT:   Anderlecht   1-2

  1. Ludogorets Razgrad vs. CSKA-Sofia – Bulgaria First Pro League

Bulgaria’s top league is ranked in the top half of UEFA (24th), but that’s still only good for one Champions league berth next year.  These two are #1 and #B, separated by only three points in the table, and very similar statistically as well.  Dynamite matchup.

RESULT:   Ludogorets Razgrad   3-2     Sofia went down a man to a red card early in the 2nd half.  LR scored the equalizer and winning goals very late.

Image result for soccer dynamite

  1. Jong Ajax vs. NEC Nijmegen – Dutch Eerste Divisie

It’s a tie for #B!   And they’re just a point out of 1st place, too.  As a reserve side, Jong Ajax isn’t eligible to be promoted.  But the Fighting Nijets are.

RESULT:   J.Ajax   3-2

The Management would like to apologize to our readers.  NEC are not the “Nijets” or even “Nidgets”, and even the correctly-spelled latter one would be a terrible nickname in any case.  Thank you for—

They didn’t seem to have a mascot.  So I gave them one.

You’re the Nidget.

That hurts me.  Just because you may be right doesn’t mean you don’t need to shut up.

  1. Waterhouse vs. Harbour View – Jamaica Premier

We need us some Jamaica time after that high drama!  4th place hosts 5th.  Noob leans libertarian-ish, so while not a user himself, smoke it if you’ve got it.

RESULT:   Waterhouse   2-1     Turns out this was played yesterday.  And that it was the second leg of a league playoff Quarterfinal!  Waterhouse advances on aggregate, 3-1.

Image result for relaxed soccer

 

 

 

That’s the spirit.

’10 to Track’ soccer matches Weekend Edition! Premier, MLS, all the best – plus new league coverage announcement

Hitting the hinterlands of world footyball yesterday was a dream, as always.  But weekends are where T2T gets (comparatively) serious.

Don’t miss the Sunday new league coverage announcement.  It’s gonna be!– well, it’s gonna be content.

Saturday, 3/31

  1. Chicago Fire vs. Portland Timbers – MLS

Both clubs have lost both their games this early season.  Last year, they finished 3rd and 6th in the Western Conference.  (Chicago has been moved into the East now.)  Both teams struggled on defense, at least when compared to other playoff teams.  (6:00 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 6).

RESULT:   2-2

 

Portland- Basilisk’s iconic fried chicken sammich.  

Nice work!  Chicago deep dish still wins.

B.  Chicago Red Stars vs. Portland Thorns – NWSL

Double-header in Bridgeview, IL!   At least Noob assumes both are hosting on their same home pitch.  The 8:15 PM start time for this match suggests it.  These two finished in 4th and 2nd, respectively, last year.

RESULT:   Portland   2-3

Image result for letter B number 2

 

 

Can’t hedge!   You’re either into boring old Number Two or down with Number B.

  1. Paris Saint-Germain vs. AS Monaco – Coupe de la League

The Final!   This is not the FA Cup, but rather a tournament open to pro clubs in just the top three divisions in France.  Given that PSG has demolished all of Ligue 1 this year, Noob wonders if league #B Monaco will be revved up to snatch some hardware away from PSG.

RESULT:   PSG   3-0

  1. Bayern Munich vs. Borussia Dortmund – Bundesliga

1st place is out of reach for 3rd-place Dortmund, so maintaining their top-four place in the table and getting a Champions League invite is the goal.  They’d love even a draw against champ-in-waiting Bayern.  (12:30 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Bayern   6-0     not a typo.   this was a terrible, awesome rout

Image result for borussia dortmund funny

 

Those masks won’t help you hide from Bayern.   

BVB on your shirts, fellas.

  1. Juventus vs. AC Milan – Serie A

Milan is five points out of 4th place and the last Champions League berth.  1st-place Juventus has only lost twice all year, yet only lead Napoli by two points.

This is a bad matchup for Milan, as they have trouble scoring and Juve has the league’s best defense.  This may well be the world’s most important match this weekend.  (2:45 PM, Rai Italia)

RESULT:   Juve    3-1

  1. Sevilla vs. Barcelona – La Liga

Sevilla does not have a realistic shot of cracking the top four, but they are in line for a Europa League invite, being in 6th place.  7th will get in as well this year, but even that is not guaranteed for Sevilla.  Lots of teams are in the hunt.  Barcelona are undefeated, the best team in the world.  (2:45 PM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:   2-2

Image result for game show prizes funny

 

6th place could win this dartboard and pool table.  And longer pool table?…

  1. Ljubljana vs. Maribor – Slovenia Prva Liga

[loo-blee-ah-nuh] have almost wrapped up the league title.  It’s hard to say historic powerhouse #B Maribor is ever quite completely out of it, but they are ten points back.  This league is only the 30th-strongest in Europa, but Noob is always down for matchups from the very top of tables.

RESULT:   1-1

Sunday, 4/1

**Soon, Noob’s exclusive coverage of the Isle of Sodor Premier League will begin!   Sudric football has been loosely organized at best.  Until now, with the formation of their FA.**

The Island of Sodor with it's hypothetical location in the UK (From Thomas the Tank Engine/Thomas and Friends) [OS] [5526x3175]

  1. Chelsea vs. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur – English Premier

The only important drama left in Premier’s top of the table is right here.  5th place hosts 4th, a battle for the league’s final Champions League spot next year.   With just eight matches to go, it’s not quite a must-win for Chelsea at five points back.  But they sure as shite can’t lose.

So, c’mon, Chelsea.  Don’t let the traitorously-named Hotspur get the best of you.  Ramp up the so-so offense a bit and take these ne’er-do-wells down!  (11:00 AM, NBCSN)

RESULT:   Hotspur   1-3

  1. UNAM Pumas vs. Necaxa – Liga MX

9th vs. 10th doesn’t look intriguing at a glance.  But remember:  the top eight clubs make the Liguilla, the postseason league tournament.

Noobstrdamus has access to the soccer alternate planes, has learned Necaxa will score the road upset today.  It couldn’t be that I read Pumas can’t play D at all.   It’s the first thing.  *nod*

RESULT:   1-1    Prognostication fail.  In fact, Pumas played most of the second half a man down.

Image result for Noobstradamus

 

 

I once tamed a wild puma with just my headband.

  1. Boca Juniors vs. Talleres – Argentina Premier

Finishing off the Track in style, as Noob is wont to do!   #1 hosts #B in Argentina’s astounding 28-club deep league.  Best offense versus best defense.   Pirate yourself an interwebs stream of this one somewhere.

RESULT:   Boca Juniors   2-1      Juniors get the go-ahead goal at 90′, open up a huge -9- point lead in the table.

Image result for pirated internet stream funny

 

 

See?  It’s a good idea.

 

’10 to Track’ soccer matches- Weekend Edition – Premier League, MLS, all the finest

The ten most important matches for the newish North American fan to follow.  Our quest is noble.

  1. Chicago Fire vs. Sporting Kansas City – MLS

The Fire placed 3rd in the Eastern Division last season, and unless team make-up has changed a lot, they will play things wiiiiiide open.  KC finished 5th in the weaker Western.

The Management has strong KC ties.   Noob has yet to decide if he will openly root against The Management’s teams on principle, cheer along with him (Unlikely!), or modestly heckle.  For today, I’ll just say this:  If Chicago score first, KC will get routed.  (6:00 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 6)

RESULT:   3-4    KC     (KC scored first)

Image result for heckling meme

 

 

Apparently, Noob’s late to this party.

B.  Tigres UANL vs. Tijuana – Liga MX

Noob loves Liga MX more and more each passing day.  They play about the same number of games as other premier leagues (34), but when the season is divided into two separate halves, every game means so much more.

They’re 10 games into the Clausura (second half-season), and things are tight as a tick in the table.  Only eight points separate 1st from 13th.  These two are 5th and 7th.  Top eight will get to play in the postseason Liguilla.

The hosts have some trouble on the defensive side of things, but that makes this a good matchup for them.  Tijuana apparently just like to kick the ball as high as they can all game long.  Only 16 goals have been scored in their 10 matches.   (8:00 PM, ESPN Deportes, Univision)

RESULT:   Tigres   1-0

Image result for mexican letter B

 

 

Number B is so ready.

  1. Manchester United vs. Liverpool – English Premier

At #B and #3, both these clubs are looking safe for a top four-finish and invites to the Champions League.  Man Utd. like a lower-scoring game, at least compared to other top clubs.  Noob looks for 1-0 Red Devils win.

RESULT:   Man Utd.    2-1

  1. Sevilla vs. Valencia – La Liga

Spain’s top-flight league gets four Champions League invites, and Valencia seem set for that 4th.  They’re six points up on 5th-place Sevilla.  They need more than a draw.  Anything but a win and they’ll for certain be settling for Europa League.

RESULT:   Valencia   0-2

Image result for sevilla fc meme

 

 

 

Layers of confusion.

 

 

Sunday, 3/11

  1. Atlanta United vs. D.C. United – MLS

What a treeee-mendous first season Atlanta had!   4th place in the brutally tough East.  Pretty much filling up the lower bowl at the NFL Falcons’ home stadium.  Just think where they might be in a few years.

Hopefully someplace good.  Unlike long-timers D.C. United.  They crapped the bed to a dismal last-place finish.   (3:00 PM Eastern, ESPN)

RESULT:   Atlanta   3-1     The Capitol-crapping continues

  1. Borussia Dortmund vs. Eintracht Frankfurt – Bundesliga

Likely the most important game on the globe this weekend.  League titles mean a lot, but those seem to be decided for most of the big Euro leagues.  Getting to Champions League is what counts.

These two are tied for 3rd, and three more teams lurk no more than three points behind them.  American superstar Christian Pulisic and Dortmond will be looking to make this a battle of offense today.  Frankfurt won’t be able to keep up.   (1:00 PM, FS2, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Dortmund   3-2      High drama!  Frankfurt gets the equalizer a minute into stoppage time, then Dortmund gets the winner at 90+5.

Image result for christian pulisic funny

 

 

They grow up SO fast!

  1. Inter Milan vs. Napoli – Serie A

If the above is most important, it’s #7 here giving them a run.

Napoli lead the Italian league by a point, but they’ve also played one more game than #B Juventus.  Inter are just one point behind Lazio for the league’s last Champions League berth.  They play the same defense, but Napoli score half again as often.   (3:45 PM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Rangers vs. Celtic – Scottish Premiership

The sand is running out of the glass on Rangers.  They’re just six points behind Celtic for 1st (and the league’s only C.L. spot), but few other teams have the capability to beat Celtic.  They’ll only face off one more time after today.  Realistically, Rangers have to have a win and three points here.

RESULT:   2-3   Celtic

Image result for great scottish food

 

 

 

Wait, those can’t be Scottish.  They look edible.

  1. Jorge WIlstermann vs. Bolivar – Bolivia Premier

This is the Apertura (first half-season), and oh my have they changed formats.  While the Clausura will still be played under a more typical round-robin system, right now they league is split into two groups of seven.  The top four from each group will advance to a Knockout tournament.

Aaaaanyway.  These two are tied for 1st in their Group.

RESULT:   JW   4-2

  1. PAOK vs. AEK Athens – Superleague Greece

#2 hosts #1!   Just what’s needed – added pressure.  PAOK fans will fight just about anywhere, anytime as is.  The club has already had two points in the table deducted for hooligan fans.  They’re five behind AEK.

RESULT:   0-0      Best of all, Noob heard of no fan maimings

Image result for paok hooligans

Actual photo from fighting before a PAOK-AEK game.   

We should NEVER have sent Greece those Karate Kid VHS tapes.

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Globetrotting Friday! From Liga MX to goodness knows where

TGIGF!   The day of the week where Noob starts with a match or three from more familiar locales, then we jetset off to footyball parts less-heralded!

Noob’s a touch tardy getting today’s T2T posted.  Apologies.  I slept most of 22 straight hours with almost 105 fever.  But I’m on the mend, and so let’s travel!  Noob will ride in the back of the plane while Noobites enjoy first class.   No point risking contagion more than need be.

  1. Morelia vs. Veracruz – Liga MX

Morelia is in 5th.  Veracruz is nearly in last.  Not surprising.  They’ve been in position to be the team that gets Relegated for some time.  But we will cheer them on today, Noobites!

Remember Noob’s maxim– never, ever pull for a team that claims to be royalty.  We have nonesuch in North America, and we like it that way!  Morelia are the Monarcas.   (8:00 PM Eastern, Univision Deportes)

Image result for anti royalist

 

 

Oooooh, crap on a cracker.

Noob may have said too much.

B.  Bangor City vs. Bala Town – Welsh Premier

While not quite as dominant as last season, T.N.S. are all but officially the league champs.  What’s left to determine is which team will finish #B and get the automatic Europa League invite, versus several other teams which will play a postseason tournament to decide which gets the other one.

If you ask Noob – and you really shouldn’t, I mean, have you been reading this weirdness for any length of time? – Bangor City will wreck Bala Town.  Based on GD, two-points-back Bala is more like an 8th-place side.  Maybe they win close, are tough and gritty.  But I think 4th-place Connah’s Quay have a better chance of making the move.

Image result for welsh alphabet

 

The Welsh alphabet is weird.  but Number B makes everything okay.

  1. Dundalk vs. Cork City – Irish Premier

Ireland’s is a “summer league”, and so just getting started.  These two finished Bth and 3rd respectively last year.

Fun Fact:  The city of Dundalk is tied to the mythological hero Cú Chulainn.  In battle frenzy, he was written to become a monster, attacking friends and enemies alike.

Image result for cu chulainn

 

 

 

No, Noob did not add the cute little censoring square.

  1. Nasaf vs. Buxoro – Uzebekistan Superleague

This is one of Asia’s ten best leagues, and they, too, are just getting started.  These two finished #B and #6 last year.  Noobites will be more likely to know league powerhouse Lokomotiv Tashkent.

Fun fact:  Only about 10% of the Region’s (state) population lives in Qarshi, where Nasaf plays.   The vast majority live in rural areas.

  1. Esteghlal Khuzestan vs. Kooneh Be Kooneh – Iran Hazfi (FA) Cup

Persian Minnow Alert!   Not that KBK winning would be an upset of epic proportions.  E.K. is nearish the bottom of the table in the top league, while the visitors are #B in the second tier.  This is a Semfinal, and it’s one match only.

Fun Fact:   Kooneh Be Kooneh is the most delicious coffee in the world.

The Management would like to apologize for Noob’s antics.  Noober, you might be thinking of Kona coffee?  From Hawai’i?   Persian coffee beans isn’t really a big industry.

Kooneh coffee beans are best when roasted young.  They give a hearty flavor, though are not so distinctly bitter as Turkish drinks.

*SIGH*

  1. AmaZulu vs. Ubuntu Cape Town – South Africa Nedbank (FA) Cup

This is South Africa’s FA Cup, and like the English version, they allow lots of teams from many lower levels to compete.  This is a Round of 16 one-off match.  AmaZulu is a midtable premier team, while UCT is last place in the second tier.

Fun Fact:  Ubuntu is the most delicious computer operating system in the world.

The Management would like to… okay, fine.  Well-played.   Asshat.

  1. Masavu vs. Bright Stars – Uganda Super League

Uganda’s top league doesn’t appear to even be in the top 16 in Africa, based admittedly on just one CAF source Noob found.  But we’re going, Noobites!  With our devotion and support, they can… oh bloody hell.   They’re just not good.

Masavu are in the Relegation Zone, looking likely to get dropped down to the Uganda Big League.  They’d be doing well just to get a draw against mid-table Bright Stars.

Fun Fact:  Masavu’s crest looks like an early 80’s southern rock album cover.

Image result for masavu fc

  1. Al Nawair vs. Al Ittihad – Syria Premier

Syria’s is only the #16-ranked league in Asia, so they only get one entry into the AFC Champions League.  Al-Ittihad is tied for #B, and only two points behind Al Jaish.  This could be an entertaining, wide open game to watch if it’s findable on some internet stream.  They can’t defend and score tons respectively.

Al-Nawair SC logo.png

 

 

Is that a ferris wheel?

  1. Energetik vs. Balkan – Turkmenistan Yokary Liga

Not sure why Noob had a thought on it, but I’m surprised this league is as high as #26 of 46 Asian national premier leagues.  Apologies, Turkmenistan.   The new season is just starting.  These two were #6 and #4 last year.

Fun fact:  According to one Christian subgroup – the Keraites – Jesus’ mother Mary is buried in her namesake town of Mary (Energetik’s home).

  1. Orara Valley vs. Boambee Bombers – Australia FFA Cup

This is the second round of Australia’s F(F)A Cup.  Would we care about teams from Northern New South Wales’ seven leagues any other day of week?  Perhaps not.  But it’s globetrotting Friday!  Both teams received byes into this round, so it’s their first Cup action.

Fun Fact:  This group was founded all the way back in 1884.

10 to Track soccer matches for midweek – Champions League, plus name-calling Noob learned from a M*A*S*H legend

Let your gaze linger below, as long as you like.  The ten most important matches for the newish American soccer fan to follow don’t mind a bit.  In fact, they’ve gotten dolled up just for you.

Noob’s back to a three-day midweek format, despite there being so many great matches.  Two days, really.  Take Thursday to do a deeper dive into any of the many Europa League matches, should a Noobite’s heart desire.

Tuesday, 3/6

1.  Liverpool vs. Porto – UEFA Champions League

Round of 16, Leg Two.  Liverpool won the first leg 0-5, so Tracking this will simply be watching a Quarterfinal coronation.

RESULT:   0-0     Liverpool advances

Image result for crown soccer

 

 

Interwebs, you creep Noob out.

B.  PSG vs. Real Madrid – UEFA Champions League

PSG at home are no better than an even match for Real. That’s bad.  They lost the first leg 1-3.

RESULT:   1-2   Real        The reigning champs move on

Image result for number 2 crown

 

Old Number 2, trying to look cool and be seen with  sympathetic children.

Sorry, but it is Number B’s time.

3.  Tijuana vs. NY Red Bulls – CONCACAF Champions League

Tijuana had a tough Apertura (first half-season) in Liga MX, but have ratcheted up their defense here in the Clausura.  RB will be lucky to only leave Mexico down a goal in this Quarterfinal’s first leg.  MLS teams just aren’t in form yet.

RESULT:   NYRB   0-2   Goalkeeper Robles makes about 40.000 saves and the Red Bulls STUN!

4.  CF America vs. Tauro – CONCACAF Champions League

The Panamanians will have it much tougher, as they visit a real Mexican powerhouse club.

RESULT:   CFA   4-0

5.  Shrewsbury vs. Yeovil – EFL Trophy

Reminder:  This is not the FA Cup, nor even the EFL Cup.   This one only involves the third and fourth-tier leagues (plus some higher leagues’ academy clubs).

Two Noob-Adopted teams. The joy!  But the horror!!  Semifinal.  Shrewsbury is in League One, having a brilliant season.  Yeovil will have a tough time on the road, can concentrate in trying to stay above the Relelgation line in League Two should they lose.

RESULT:   Shrewsbury   1-0

Image result for death of harry hotspur

 

Being the death-site of the traitorous Harry “Hotspur” Percty forever makes  Shrewsbury hallowed ground.

 

Wednesday, 3/7

The Algarve Cup final matches are today as well.  Ranked out of the Groups Stage, 1st plays #B, 3rd plays 4th, etc.  Title match is Netherlands vs. Sweden

  1. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur vs. Juventus – UEFA Champions League

Speak of the devil.  Grumblekins!  Hotspur earned a draw at Juve in the first leg, now have the advantage on their own pitch.

Look, their namesake switched sides so often, Noob hurls his favorite insult at Harry “Hotspur” Percy and each club supporter:  cretinous yahoo!   Give no quarter, Juventus!

RESULT:   1-2   Juve      Oh happy day!   Juventus score two in the second half to advance 3-4 on aggregate.  

Image result for david ogden stiers cretinous yahoo mash

 

R.I.P., David Ogden Stiers.  As Winchester on M*A*S*H, you gave me my favorite insult for someone.

  1. Manchester City vs. Basel – UEFA Champions League

Noob has made mention on many occasions that Switzerland seems to be something of a rising power on the international stage.  Well, their stage show was Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark-level flop in the first leg.  Man City pummeled them in their own place, 0-4.  Since they’ve already all but won the Premier League, they could go all out and disgrace Basel for sheer entertainment value.

RESULT:   1-2   Basel     The Swiss save some face.  Man City advances.

  1. Toronto FC vs. Tigres – CONCACAF Champions League

This is a Quarterfinal, but is the matchup one many would’ve preferred for the Final.  Toronto is just starting defense of their MLS crown.  Tigres won the postseason Liga MX Apertura Liguilla.

It may get the most attention of any match in this event this year, but Tigres should dominate both games in the two-legged tie (two-game series).

RESULT:   Toronto   2-1     Well Noob’ll be darned!   TFC goal in 88′ nets them the victory.

Image result for tiger carnage

 

Dizzam, Seattle!  Hope you stretched.

  1. Seattle Sounders vs. Guadalajara – CONCACAF Champions League

Based on past performance, Guadalajara should be an even match on the road for last year’s MLS runner-up.  But they were not good in their league Apertura, and have been flat-out awful in the Clausura now.  Seattle may have a real chance.

Still, Noob thinks anything less than a 2-0 win and Sounders will still be in trouble.

RESULT:   Seattle   1-0

  1. U.S.A. vs. England – SheBelieves Cup

This is an invitational tournament, hosted by the US and competed in by three other top-tier women’s national teams.  The four sides each play each other once over a week to determine the winner.

The Americans and English are FIFA-ranked #1 and #3 in the world, and they’re tied on points heading into this final match.  But all England must do to win the trophy is earn a draw, as they’re ahead on the goal differential-tiebreaker.

RESULT:   USA   1-0

Image result for shebelieves cup logo

SheBelieves her space bar was working.

SheWas mistaken.

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Sunday, 3/4 – Welcome, LAFC

No time for dawdling, the ten most important soccer matches to follow for the newish American fan await us, Noobites!

  1. Sporting Kansas City vs. New York City FC – MLS

Last year’s Western Conference #5 and a The Management fave hosts the Eastern’s #2.

Noob will refrain from rooting against KC just to spite The Management.  For now.  It’s a gesture of good will with which to start the season.  (7:30 PM Eastern, FS1)

RESULT:   0-2   NYCFC

Image result for truce funny

B.  Seattle Sounders vs. Los Angeles FC – MLS

Welcome, new MLS club!   Seattle – fie on you, and you know why.  Less-tenured Noobites can search back to learn about the douchebag fan/TA first soccer fan I ever knew.  Actually, I guess that is the story.  (5:00 PM, ESPN Deportes)

RESULT:   0-1   LAFC

Image result for B is for

 

 

Number B welcomes you to the soccer family, baby LAFC.

  1. Manchester City vs. Chelsea – English Premier

The new league champs host last year’s.  Chelsea wear the sadpants, as it’s looking likely that won’t even make top four and next year’s Champions League.  Noob hopes they can catch fire starting here, pass 4th place, traitorously-named Tottenham  Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur.  (11:00 AM, NBCSN)

RESULT:   Man City   1-0

  1. Toluca vs. Pachuca – Liga MX

Tied for 6th hosts tied for 10th in a table so tight, the ordinal rankings just don’t matter yet.   Pachuca tends to play more wide open than most sides, so if Toluca can score first, this could turn into a rout.

In fact, Noobstradamus sees it just that way, 4-1 for the host Sausagers.  (1:00 PM, Univision)

RESULT:   Toluca   2-1

Image result for noobstradamus

 

 

Sausage can be conjugated that way?

Not even I saw that coming.

  1. Barcelona vs. Atletico Madrid – La Liga

Barcelona have yet to lose on the season.  A win today against #B Atletico – with just one loss of their own – likely salts the title away.  They play the league’s best defense, but Barcelona’s an absolute monster with the ball.  (10:15 AM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:   Barcelona   1-0

  1. Montpelier vs. Lyon – Ligue 1

These two faced off less than a month ago in the Coupe de France.  Montpelier lost 1-2 at home then.  Will history repeat itself?

Lyon is in 4th, five points behind Marseilles for the third and final Champions League berth.  Montpelier are tied for 6th, trying to catch Rennes for the last Europa League slot.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for history repeats itself meme

 

 

 

 

History repeating itself

  1. AC Milan vs. Inter Milan – Serie A

Welcome back to the most interesting league race going.  Inter Milan were yesterday pushed out of the top four and a Champions League berth.  Today they’ll pull even on games played, but need a win to jump back up a spot in the table.

AC Milan are tied for 6th, but out of Europa League qualification based on tiebreaking goal differential.  They don’t have the defense to be great this year.  Noob smells a road win for “The Big Grass Snake”.

RESULT:   ppd

  1. Lokamotiv Moscow vs. Spartak Moscow – Russian Premier

#1 hosts #5, but with win a win Spartak would climb all the way up to #B.  Unlikely.  There’s a serious gap in defensive capability between them and the real powers of the league.

This is now the 6th-ranked league in European play.

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for poor defense soccer funny

 

 

 

Defense.  You’re doing it wrong.

  1. Legia Warsaw vs. Lech Poznan – Poland Ekstraklasa

The regular season title is up for grabs as #1 hosts #3 in Europe’s 20th-ranked league.  Poznan sports the best goal differential in the league, so should give the league leaders a tough fight.

RESULT:   Warsaw   2-1

  1. Sanarate vs. Antigua Guatemala – Guatemala National League

Antigua was the Apertura (first half season) champs and are on top again now in the Clausura.

Sanrate has seen massive improvement.  They only finished 9th,  but are now tied for #B.  They scored 14 and gave up 22 goals before.  That line is now 14-8.  Still. Noob thinks they’d be pleased with a draw today, even being at home.

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for pleased funny

 

 

Wait, can you say that?  That feels wrong.