Tag: Ligue 1

’10 to Track’ Globetrotting Friday soccer matches – from the US of A to sporting hinterlands the world over!

Fridays tend to run a little light for soccer scheduling the world over, so this our opportunity to explore the footyball world!  As always, Noob starts off at and close to home.  Then, we check our bags tarmac-side and jetset off to locations the world over!   Let’s expand our horizons, Noobites.

  1. Ottawa Fury vs. Tampa Bay Rowdies – United Soccer League

Major League Soccer isn’t back post-All-Star break until tomorrow, so today we have just a pair of division two matches in the homeland.  This one is a bit heavier in playoff implications.

The top eight in each conference will make the postseason.  These two are tied for 9th and tied for 11th, respectively.  Noob’s particularly intrigued for two reasons:  1) Based on goal differential, these two ought to be switched places in the table.  B)  They’re two of the clubs from North American Soccer League.  The one-time co-second division league cancelled it’s 2018 season after not getting DII sanctioning from USSF, and currently is targeting a 2020 return to action.

Fun Fact:   When their current stadium was behind in completion, Ottawa competed at Carleton College.

RESULT:   Ottawa   2-0     The Fury climb into a tie for 7th

B.  Atlas vs. UNAM Pumas – Liga MX

After finishing 8th and making the postseason Liguilla in the 2017-18 Apertura (first half-season), they sunk to 15th and sported the worst defense in the league in the Clausura.

UNAM went completely the other direction, going from last place to 7th by improving their offense a ton.  They’ve won their first to matches of 2018-19, too.   (10:00 PM EST, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Pumas   0-3     Atlas was down to ten men after a red card 20′ in

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Number B knows Atlas are “The Foxes”.

And that Number Two must go down HARD.

  1. Waterford vs. Cork City – League of Ireland Premier

Eire’s is a two-horse race and has been for some time.  Cork trail Dundalk by just a point in the table as they hit the home stretch of their season.  They can’t afford a slip before playing the league leaders later this month, and this is the most like match where that could happen.

Waterford had a great run the first half of the season, but have fallen back to a distant 3rd.  Two clubs will get Europa League berths, though.  The Irish Blues are in line for one now, but Noob thinks Shamrock Rovers will overtake them.

Fun Fact:  Waterford the crystal-making company makes the NCAA college football trophy.

RESULT:   1-2   Cork     Waterford scores first, but Cork triumphs.  

  1. Reading vs. Derby County – EFL Championship

If these teams are of the same relative strengths as last season, this may not be a “big” match.   But England’s second division league is probably in the top 15 in Europe in strength.  And Derby Co. finished 6th last season, making the Promotion Playoffs.  Meanwhile, reading finished 20th, not far above the Relegation line.

This is the first league match of the season.  Welcome back, British footyball!

RESULT:   Derby Co.   1-2      Derby Co with the winner in the 90′

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Fun Fact:  This company was originally based in Reading, and so the football team were known as “The Biscuit Men”.

 

  1. Hamburger SV vs. Holstein Kiel – 2. Bundesliga

Germany’s second-tier kicks off today as well.  Hamburger was demoted last season from the top league, while H.K. made the Promotion Playoffs before losing at the end and having to stay down.  Holstein led this league in offense last year, scoring over 70 goals.

Fun – Unless You’re an HSV Supporter – Fact:   This marks the first time HSV has played anywhere but the top Bundesliga.  There was rioting and stuff.

RESULT:   Holstein Kiel   0-3

  1. Dynamo Kyiv vs. Shakhtar Donetsk – Ukraine Premier

Last year’s #B and #1 faced off in the domestic Super Cup just days ago.  Kyiv won that glorified friendly, but now things are for real as league plays begins.  A little more offense and Kyiv could’ve perhaps taken the title last year.

Since this – the 8th-ranked league in Europe – gets two Champions League berths, one might think it doesn’t matter which one wins.  It matters.  They want hardware.

RESULT:   Dynamo   1-0

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Fun Fact:  During the Soviet era, Dinamo Kyiv (not another Moscow team) was Spartak Moscow’s greatest rival.

  1. Huracan vs. Atletico Tucuman – Copa Argentina

This is a Round of 32 match in Argentina’s knockout-formatted FA tournament.

These two finished last year’s Primera league season #4 and #15.  Their offensive and defensive numbers were very similar, though, so this should be an exquisite matchup.  The winner will get either fellow top-leaguers Newell’s Old Boys or a third division team in the next round.

Stinky Fact:  One of Huracan’s nicknames is “The Burners”, since the current stadium is built on a former garbage-burning site.

RESULT:   Tucuman   0-2

  1. Troyes vs. Brest –France Ligue 2

Back to Europe!  Troyes was kicked out of the French top flite after finishing second-to-last.  Brest finished 5th in this league, getting to play in the Promotion playoff.  The two teams that were Promoted were light years better on offense then everyone else, but Brest excelled to a degree in that regard as well.

RESULT:   Brest   0-2

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Fun Fact:   The city of Troyes is home to the Lacoste clothing and fashionwear company.

  1. Floridsdorfer vs. Kapfenberger – Austrian 2. Bundesliga

The other white schnitzel – Austria’s Bundesligas. OK, maybe that doesn’t make sense.  Noob acknowledges it before The Management interrupts to call me out.

This league has been expanded from 10 to 16 teams this season.  As the season begins today, this is the one matchup involving two teams that were both in this league last season.  They finished 8th and 9th.  Floridsdorfer may really have been the worst team in the league, statistically, but no one got Relegated, so oh well!

Fun Fact:   Floridsdorfer is the northernmost district of Vienna.   it is a comparatively rural area, being composed of previously unconnected villages.

RESULT:   Kapfenberger    0-2

  1. Dinamo Tbilisi vs. Rustavi – Georgia Erovnuli Liga

We finish today’s Track in Georgia’s best league, though it ranks just 46 of 55 in UEFA.   It’s what Friday’s are for!

As one might expect, only the winner will get an invitation to Champions League (and just the First Qualifying Round at that).  Dinamo is #B, just five points out of 1st just over halfway through the season.  Saburtalo Tbilisi aren’t any better on GD, so this should be a dandy of a second half race.

RESULT:   Dinamo   1-0

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So long from Tbilisi, Georgia! 

The Bridge of Peace connects the old and new city districts.

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Saturday (5/19) – MLS and more FA Cup finals action!

The ten most important matches for us- thew newish American fans of the global game – to follow.  Noob’s mantra.

But share with your experienced friends!  Noob’s coverage of leagues the world over might interest even the most seasoned fans.  Let’s dig in, Noobites.

  1. Portland Timbers vs. LAFC – MLS

Expansion LAFC haven’t lost in six straight matches.  Portland have one four in a row.  Something’s got to give!

They shouldn’t have trouble getting up for a home match against the #3 team in their conference, but 5th-place Portland are coming off a match with regional rival Seattle Sounders.  Much will hinge on the goalkeeping, and Timbers’ Jeff Attinella hasn’t conceded one in the three matches he’s played.   (3:00 PM Eastern, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Portland   2-1     Timbers climb to 3rd (though league matches are still pending at time of this update)

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B.  Seattle Reign vs. Chicago Red Stars – NWSL

#B hosts #4 in America’s top women’s league.  Seattle have scored seven in their last two games.  Look for the Reign’s Megan Rapinoe to continue her solid striking.

RESULT:   0-0

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Solid, striking Number B!

  1. Chelsea vs. Manchester United – English FA Cup

It’s the Final at Wembley!

Chelsea absolutely crapped the bed in their last league match, but presumably they can wake up with a trophy on the line.  And Manchester United only scored twice in their last three games.  Noob wouldn’t put money on this game even if sports gambling were already legal all across America.   (12:15 PM, Fox Deportes)

Noobstradamus Sees:   0-0, then Chelsea in PK’s!  They redeem themselves for a league 5th-place finish and missing out on the next Champions League.

RESULT:   Chelsea   0-1     So Chelsea win the league last year, the FA Cup this year, and word is they may well sack their manager.  Harsh.

  1. Bayern Munich vs. Eintracht Frankfurt – DFB Pokal (German FA Cup)

It’s the Final in Berlin!

Frankfurt faded down the stretch in the Bundesliga, finishing 8th.  Bayern did very Bayern-y things to everyone in winning the league title.  No reason to think they won’t crush today.  If Frankfurt keeps it within a goal, it will only be because Bayern has everyone fall back defensively after getting the lead.   (2:00 PM, ESPNEWS)

RESULT:   Frankfurt   1-3    Well, color Noob shocked!   Bayern dominated everywhere by the scoreboard.

And now Bayern’s manager retires and Frankfurt’s manager is his replacement.  Wild schtuff.

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The Frankfurt Hotel.

Your team has whatever beating it takes today coming.

  1. Celtic vs. Motherwell – Scotland FA Cup

Staying in the British Isles, it’s another Final!   While not on their actual home pitch, this one is held in Glasgow, Celtic’s home city.  However rough a time Frankfurt will have above, double it for Motherwell.  Celtic won the league again, while “The Steelmen” didn’t even crack the top half of the table.   (10:00 AM, GOL TV)

Noobstradamus Sees:   Celtic ‘however many they want’ – 0

RESULT:   Celtic   2-0

  1. Lyon vs. Nice – Ligue 1

These days, France only get three teams into Champions League, down from the max of four.  That’s bad news for either Lyon or Marseille.  #3 Lyon leads Marseille by just a point in the table.  They have the tougher matchup, hosting #6 Nice, who are fighting for a Europa League berth.  Marseille host #13 Amiens.

Lyon has oodles more offensive firepower than Nice, but all they need is a draw.  Look for this to go very low-scoring, probably that draw.   (3:00 PM, TV5MONDE)

RESULT:   Lyon   3-2    And so they hold off Marseille for 3rd place and the last Champions League berth.

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Disallowed!

  1. Goztepe vs. Galatasaray – Turkey Super Lig

Turkey’s top-flight title race remained as good as any in Europe, right through today!

Galatasaray lead two clubs by just three points.  More, they are currently only tied in tie-breaking goal differential with one of them (Fenerbahce).  So they could win today and still not finish 1st.  More, they’re not even guaranteed a top-two finish and CL slot.

Galatasaray also have the toughest matchup today of all contenders.  Their opponent is higher in the table than their rivals’ opponents today, and they’re on the road to boot.   (12:00 PM, beIN Sports)

Noobstradamus Sees:   A 3-1 win.  Goztepe is barely average, despite they’re reasonably good spot in the standings.

RESULT:   Galatasaray   0-1     All four top teams won on this, the last day of league play.  Congrats to the G’men- champions!  Fenerbahce claim Turkey’s second and final CL berth with a come-from-behind win as well today.

  1. Rijeka vs. Hajduk Split – Croatia First League

#B Rijeka could tie #1 Dinamo Zagreb on points in the table on today, the last day of league play.  But the tiebreaker is already won by D.Z. (and congrats to the champs!)  They lead #3 Split by just a point.  They’re both headed to Europa League, but whoever finishes higher will get to enter that competition one qualifying round further in.

RESULT:   Rijeka   3-1

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Come to Rijeka for the football.

Stay for a pie at Gvardijan Pizzeria.

  1. Maribor vs. Olimpija Ljubljana – Slovenia Prva Liga

Slovenia’s first tier might not be quite in the top half of UEFA leagues, but #1 vs. #B will never fail to win Noob over!  Three league matches to go, and Maribor lead O.L. by just a point.  And only one can go to Champions League.

Noobstradamus Sees:  …that while Ljub may not have lost a match since last December, they haven’t won that many, either.  Maribor have been doing almost nothing but winning for months.  Hosts win 2-1 today.

RESULT:   Ljub   3-1      We have a new #1 in Slovenia!   Come-from-behind win with the decisive goal scored at 90′.

  1. Dynamo Kyiv vs. Shakhtar Donetsk – Ukraine Premier

Congratulations to league champions Shakhtar Donetsk!  There will be nothing but pride on the line today, but Noob never ignores a #1 vs. #B matchup.  Kyiv qualify for Europa League for their season’s efforts.

RESULT:   D.K.   2-1

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So long from Kyiv!

(Isn’t the world just weird and magical?)

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Saturday (5/12) – MLS, top UEFA league’s drama, and more FA Cup Finals!

The ten most important matches for us – the newish American fans of the global game – brook no nonsense (ok, maybe a little nonsense…) on the weekends.  There’s hardware to be passed out today, so let’s dive in.

  1. Columbus Crew vs. Chicago Fire – MLS

Noob originally had Dallas and LA Galaxy for the top game today, but it’s a save over the crossbar!  Correct best game identified.

Columbus are #4 in the Eastern Conference, have seemingly righted their ship.  They lost three straight matches before this unbeaten streak of four.  Chicago are having trouble on offense.  Four assists out of their aged Euro-star Bastian Schweinsteiger isn’t bad, but he’s stuck on one goal for the season.   (7:30 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 6)

Noobstradamus Sees:   Columbus 1-0 on an early goal.   Columbus doesn’t score much, either, but they’re tied for the conference lead in goal defense.

RESULT:   Columbus 3-0

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Do you have a question, Bastian?   Noob’s spot-on.

B.  Portland Thorns vs. Orlando Pride – NWSL

Orlando have won four in a row!  That’s pushed them to 5th place, but Noob thinks the soccer gods are lulling them into a false sense of accomplishment.    (3:30 PM, Lifetime)

Noobstradamus Sees:   …#4 Portland repeating their 2-1 home win from earlier this season versus the Pride.  Down with cities built on swamps!

RESULT:   Orlando   1-2

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Number B – menacing with a thorny look

  1. Middlesbrough vs. Aston Villa – English Championship

The battle is on to determine which of the #3-6 clubs will get the third and final Promotion into Premier League for next season!  This is the first leg of a semifinal between, as you might imagine, two very even sides.

Noobstrdamus Sees:   1-1.  Saving the real drama for the return leg at Aston Villa.

RESULT:   Aston Villa 0-1

  1. 1899 Hoffenheim vs. Borussia Dortmund – Bundesliga

This is the last weekend of matches in Germany!  Reminder:  Four Champions League berths for this league.

#3 Dortmund are all but guaranteed one now, as they lead #4’s Hoffenheim and Leverkusen by three points each.  Might explain why they lost to lowly Mainz at home last match.

Hoffenheim is hoping their hosts today will be sleeping again.  Leverkusen play at home against also-ran Hannover today.   (9:30 AM, KTBC)

Noobstradamus Sees:   Hoffenheim 2-0, leaving Leverkusen having to utterly blowout Hannover to pass them.

RESULT:   Hoffenheim   3-1

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He’s even in a yellow BVB jersey, see?

  1. AS Monaco vs. St. Etienne – Ligue 1

Monaco are tied for 3rd place and the final CL slot for France.  But they’ve got this and one more match to play, whereas their peer Marseille are down to just one.

St. Etienne may be #6 and fighting to hold onto their Europa League slot, but there’s a massive gulf in ability between the league’s top four and everyone else.   (3:00 PM, TV5MONDE)

Noobstradamus Sees:   …Monaco leaving nothing to chance.  5-1.

RESULT:   1-0

  1. Inter Milan vs. Sassuolo – Serie A

With two matches to go in Italy, it’s Inter who are losing the game of musical chairs.  They’re in 5th, two points out of 4th and the final CL spot.  They have a possibly sneaky-tough matchup today as #12 Sassuolo have only lost once since mid-March.

Noobstradamus Sees:   …that the competition Sassy-pants have been playing of late is decidedly not the league’s strongest.  Inter 3-0.

RESULT:   Sassuolo   1-2

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Snausages!

Noob neither has nor needs any reason.

  1. Galatasaray vs. Yeni Malatyaspor – Turkey Super Lig

Hiccup Watch game.  Y.M. are 10th place, should be fodder for tied-for-1st Galatasaray.

Noobstradamus Sees:   …Galatasaray – who have two matches left to just one for co-#1 Istanbul Basaksehir – not giving up that advantage.  4-1.

RESULT:   Galatasaray   2-0

  1. AEK Athens vs. PAOK – Greek Cup

The Final!  Athens get to host, no neutral site business here.  And it’s the league #1 vs. #B, as is good, right, and proper.   (1:30 PM, Antenna 20 Years)

Noobstradamus Sees:   Massive fires in Athens, a couple of maimings… it’s Greece!   Oh, and PAOK gets the upset, 1-1, then taking it in PK’s.  So make that several maimings.

RESULT:   PAOK   0-2

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Hold up.   Did someone say snausages?   Yummaaaay.

  1. HJK vs. FC Inter – Finnish Cup

Another Final!   This one shouldn’t be dramatic, truth be told.  HJK Helsinki are the league defending champions.  FC Inter are a bottom-half club who achieved nicely by getting to this match.

Noobstradamus Sees:   HJK 11-1.

  1. Sporting Cristal vs. Huancayo – Peru Premier

Let’s end the Track with one more Final!   This is the championship for the Verano (first of three regular season stages).  Cristal earned a 1-1 draw on the first leg of this two-match tie.  They are likely considered a full goal-better than Huancayo on their own pitch.   (9:30 PM, Peru Magico)

Noobstrdamus Sees:  …that funny things happen in footyball!  2-2 today, then the visitors take the title in penalty kicks.

RESULT:   Cristal 1-0     chamPEENS!

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So long from Peru–  from Noob and controversial Peruvian TV character “Peasant Jacinta”!

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Globetrotting Friday (5/11) – from MLS to around the planet!

TGIGF!

Please keep your trays in the upright and locked position.  Your about to jet off with Noob on our weekly football adventure!  Buckle up.  It will get weird.    Again.

  1. Vancouver Whitecaps vs. Houston Dynamo – MLS

Everyone in the Western Conference is chasing KC and LAFC. The Whitecaps so far are the best of the rest.  For #6 Houston to eke out a road win, look for Argentinian national midfielder Tomas Martinez to need a big game.   (10:30 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 6)

Noobstradamus Sees:   Houston 2-1, with a goal and assist for Martinez

RESULT:   2-2     Martinez did get a goal.  Houston scored the go-ahead goal in 89′ and then Vancouver tied it right back up at 90′!

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And welcome to the Track, Tomas.

B.  Pittsburgh Riverhounds vs. Indy Eleven – USL

Your division two-undercard is also a #3 versus #6.  This is likely to be a defensive slog, er, artistic performance by both sides.

Noobstrdamus Sees:  Pittsburgh’s surprising undefeated streak continuing as they claim 1st place.  They have yet to lose all season.

RESULT:   0-0

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Noob…doesn’t see how going incognito has a bird is relevant, Number B.

  1. Derby County vs. Fulham – English Championship

Wolverhampton and Cardiff City finished in the top two spots in England’s second division, earning automatic promotion to Premier League next season.  Now it’s time for the next four in the table to battle for the third and final spot.

#6 Derby Co. has bounced back from a mostly-catastrophic April (three straight losses) to not lose in their last three.  Fulham lost their last match – one that didn’t matter to them in the table – and before that last lost in early January.

Noobstradamus Sees:   The allure of something like a quarter billion pounds in added Premier League revenue being a strong, strong motivator.  Derby Co. overcomes a deficit at home, wins the first leg of this quarterfinal 3-2.

RESULT:   Derby Co.   1-0

  1. Guingamp vs. Marseille – Ligue 1

Noob once had a nasty case of Guingamp on his left foot.  That stuff will eat the flesh right to the bone if you’re not careful!

The Management here, apologizing once again for the randomly-non sequitur ramblings of Noob.  Is this something Farside comic-ish related to a foot disease like necrotizing fasciitis?

I like dogs.   I forget math sometimes.

Weirdo.  Anyway, this match is important because Marseille are one point outside of 3rd place and the league’s last CL berth with two league matches to go.  Don’t make me do your job, Noobstra-dumbass.

RESULT:   3-3     Marseille went down to ten men due to a red card at 66′.  Guingamp scored the go-ahead at 70′, but Marseille tied it back up at 81′.

  1. Reims vs. Nimes – Ligue 2

Where Noob deems nothing is as it seems.  *Noob beams*.

What the actual f– um, fruit?  The Management wonders if we need to talk to Human Resources.  #1 and #2, er, “#B” in France’s second division.

RESULT:   2-2    And that ends the regular season in France’s second division!  These two are promoted for next year to Ligue 1.  Next come the playoffs for the next three teams in the table to see which other club moves up.

  1. Antalyaspor vs. Istanbul Basaksehir – Turkey Super Lig

Turkey’s clubs have just two matches each to go, and nothing is decided at the table’s top.  Istanbul Basaksehir is tied for #B (3rd on tiebreaker though), trailing #1 Galatasaray by three and leading Besiktas by just one in the standings.

This is definitely a Hiccup Watch match.  Antalyaspor are in 12th and have done nothing against any of the top four clubs this season.  But anything can happen on the road, and I.B. cannot afford a Hiccup here.   (1:00 PM, beIN Sports En Español)

Noobstradamus Sees:   Istanbul eking this one out.  They’re offense is the weakest of the four top teams, but Antalyaspor can’t stop a beach ball generally.   I.B. 1-3, with a the third being a meaningless late one.

RESULT:   I.B.   0-2

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Yup.  Turkey club on top of a table.

No apologies.

  1. Erzurum BB vs. Umraniyespor – Turkey First League

Welcome to the Track, Turkey second division!   Just like in England’s second tier, the top two get auto-promoted, while the next four duke it our for a third slot moving up.  These two finished #5 and #4, respectively.  Both have been rolling.

Noobstradamis Sees:  …Erzurum’s freaky two-headed bird crest emblem.  Not a vision, just a plain old nightmare.  Umraniyespor wins 1-8.  Maybe.

RESULT:  EBB   4-3

Büyükşehir Belediye Erzurumspor logo.png

 

  1. Leipaja vs. RFS – Latvia Higher League

it’s very early in this European summer league, where these two are #1 and #3, and are tied for the largest GD so far (+10).  Let’s have a shootout!

Noobstradamus Sees:   Leipaja 4-3

RESULT:   RFS   3-5

  1. Ismaily vs. Al Masry – Egypt Premier League

Perennial powerhouse Al Ahly has already claimed the title, but this league gets two berths into the next CAF Champions League.  #B Ismaily is up on #3 Al Masry by five in the table, but this is the host team’s last match of the season.  Al Masry have one more after this in which to earn points.

Noobstradamus Sees:   …that Ismaily hasn’t lost since February.  it will be hard-fought by Al Masry, but the final will be 2-2, securing ismaily’s CL invite.

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Al-Jazeera vs. Al-Wehdat – Jordan Premier

Let’s end the Track with a celebratory congrats to Al-Wehdat, you’re 2017-18 Jordanian champs!  This is the last match of the season for these two.  Al-Wehdat are tied for #B and Noob presumes a Confederations Cup slot (think: Europa League for Africa).

Noobstradamus Sees:  ….a grand party for Al-Wehdat!

RESULT:   Al-Wehdat   0-4

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And so long from Amman, Jordan!

‘10 to Track’ for Sat., 4/27 – from MLS and Liga MX to Europe and beyond, it’s a Noobstradamus-day!

Noobstradamus, did you hit the Sativa instead of the Indica?   It’s a tidal wave today of prognostication excellence (*cough cough*) from our resident ancient seer!

Here are the 10 most important games to track today, for us, the newish American fans.

  1. New England Revolution  vs Sporting Kansas City – MLS

KC has a five-point lead in the West, but the next two behind them have played two fewer games.   Things will tighten up. The Revs are in 4th in the East, a far sight better than last season.

Noob looks for the high-powered Kansas City side to score early and often.  New England’s defense is solid, but KC lead the entire league in goals made.       (7:30 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 6)

RESULT:   New England   1-0

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Why hate when I can prognosticate?

1-2 Kansas City is the today’s future.

 

B.    Orlando Pride vs Seattle Thorns- NWSL

Noobstradamus says 0-1, Seattle over Swanp City.  Down with bad urban planning!

RESULT:   1-1

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I foresee Number B replacing that archaic Number to in lists, thanks to this quest.  Archaic things, meh!

Wait, I’m archaic…

 

3.  Tigres vs. Monterrey – Liga MX

Both have qualified for the postseason Liguilla heading into this final regular season match.  But seeding is still very much in the air.  They are 4th and 3rd now, but either could jump to #B with a win tonight.

Tigres will try to keep the pace slow.  They can’t take Monterrey in a goal-fest.   Noobstradamus sees all, sees a 1-1 draw.  (8:00 PM, Univision)

RESULT:   2-2

4.  Inter Milan vs Juventus – Serie A

Juve is only a point up on #B Napoli.  Inter is in 5th, just outside the Champions League slots.  But they trail the next two teams up by just one in the table.  Juve are better on both sides of the ball, and loads better on offense.    (2:45 PM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:   Juve   2-3    Good LAWD!   Juve was watching their title slip away, down 2-1 with three minutes plus added time to go.  They scored twice more before 90′.

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Inter will run out of gas now and going forward.   0-1 Juve today

5.  Bayer Leverkusen vs Stuttgart – Bundesliga

Will the pressure get to Leverkusen?  They’re 4th, barely in a CL slot  they SHOULD handle 10th place Stuttgart.  (12:30 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   Stuttgart   0-1

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2-1 Leverkusen.  Stuttgart is German for “stuttering child”.  You don’t need other-worldly powers to see their going to lose.

The Management here:  Noobstra-dumbass doesn’t know German.

6.  Swansea vs Chelsea – English Premier

Four matches to go and 5th place Chelsea still trails #4, Noob-reviled Hotspur by five points in the table.

Meanwhile, Swansea are fighting for their Premier lives at the other end of the standings.  They’re only one slot above the Relegation line, though at least they have a four-point lead on the next club down.  They can’t score.  They have the best defense among the league’s worst teams, but that’s quite the qualifier.   (12:30 PM, Universo)

RESULT:   Chelsea   0-1

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1-3 Chelsea.

I also predict Hotspur will  be Relegated for being named for a historic traitor.

7.  Lyon vs Nantes – Ligue 1

Hiccup Watch match for #3 Lyon. France only gets three into CL nowadays   Pummeling #9 Nantes will give them relief.   Noobstradamus says Lyon 3-0.

RESULT:   Lyon   2-0

8.  Herediano vs Saprissa – Costa Rica Premier

The top two collide in the postseason!  Noobstradamus predicts concussions.  Ouch.

RESULT:   Herediano   1-0

9.  Sendai vs. Sapporo – J 1 League

The Management must be given his Japan-fix.   The league is just far enough in now for Noob to pay attention.

Noobstradamus has no score prediction, but prognosticates The Management will today bring up in conversation a culturally subversive animated show from there that features an office worker Red Panda that fights off existential ennui by performing in a death metal band at night.

Noob isn’t kidding.  It’s so disorienting, all I can do is figuratively projectile-vomit out number #10 – Reno and OKC in USL action.  Reno scores LOTS. They’ll win…14-3 today. Maybe.

RESULTS:   J1 League match ends 2-2;  Reno   2-0

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Globetrotting Friday (4/20) – MLS, NWSL, Liga MX keep us closer to home

TGIGF!  yet today, we won’t be hitting the soccer hinterlands quite like usual.  This is a rare Friday sched that’s chock full of great matches, in leagues Noob covers and you crave.

  1. Sporting Kansas City vs. Vancouver Whitecaps – MLS

Nearly every team has played five games, an arbitrary benchmark Noob uses to stop leaning on the previous seasons’ stats so heavily and look at what’s in front of us.

So what’s in front of us?  KC is #1 in the West, and they’re doing it with a wide-open style.  They lead the league in offense.  Vancouver is in 3rd.  They’re two road wins this early are impressive.  But ultimately, this team isn’t scoring enough goals.  Bad matchup for them today.

Noob’s thinking KC 3-0.  The Management should be pleased, since he is pro-all things KC.   (9:00 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass)

RESULT:   KC   6-0

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Where were you hiding that cake, The Management?

Noob likes chocolate cake.  Noob will root for KC.

B.  Washington Spirit vs. Portland Thorns – NWSL

In 2 Corinthians, Paul writes of a thorn in his flesh.  Three times he prayed for its removal.  Each time, the Lord told him His grace would be sufficient instead.

Noob’s not quite sure how this can fit here, but I will say Washington needs to pray here.  The Capitol gals finished in last in 2017.  Just three games in this year they are better.  But they aren’t playing any defense, and that’s not going to bode well against the defending champs.

RESULT   1-1

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Number B,. any chance that Holy Spirit-dove is Washington’s mascot?

  1. Puebla vs. CF America – Liga MX

Two matches two go in the Clausura (second half-season).  America sit in 3rd, and are all but mathematically guaranteed a Liguilla slot, top-eight finish.

Puebla are in 13th – not out, but on life support.  Their GD isn’t all that bad, but their guests today are tied for the best defense in the league.   Must win for “The Sweet Potatoers”.     (8:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Puebla   3-1      Puebla pulls into a three-way tie for 9th, just a point behind the two teams tied for 8th

  1. Dijon vs. Lyon – Ligue 1

France’s slip in the UEFA rankings this year means they only get three Champions League invites now.  This has Lyon sweating bullets.  They’re tied for 3rd with Marseille.  Dijon shouldn’t present a problem today, except that the game is there.  One never knows what the road may bring.    (3:00 PM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:   Lyon   2-5

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Lies!  Clearly there is a problem related to mustard.

  1. Connah’s Quay vs. T.N.S. – Welsh Premier

It’s #B vs. #1!   That’s always eye-catching for Noob, even if The New Saints have already claimed the league title.  TNS score close to twice as much as anyone else, but will they be motivated now?

CQ are in position to get the only automatic Europa League berth here, but only lead Bangor City by three in the table.

RESULT:   TNS   1-3

  1. Millwall vs. Fulham – English Championship League

This may only be second-tier football, but this league has ranked as high as 14th before in the overall UEFA rankings.  And this match should be a doozy.

Millwall are in 6th, with competition hot on their heels for that last spot in the Promotion Playoffs.  Fulham are in 3rd and guaranteed at least a PP spot already.  But they’re also only a point behind #B Cardiff City.  If they can pass them, they’ll be automatically moved up to Premier League.

RESULT:   Fulham   0-3     Fulham climb to #B by two points, though one must note they’ve played two more matches than #3 Cardiff.  

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“Hot on their heels”.  English Sexy Pointed Toe Shoes.

Not bad, Dan the Intern-o Inferno.  But find some better ankles next time.

  1. Braga vs. Maritimo – Primeira Liga

Portugal’s is the highest-ranked league (#7) to only get two Champions League slots.  This means Braga has work to do.  They’re in 4th, six points behind #B Benfica.  Maritimo are tied for 5th, but they’re merely playing to be the best of the rest.  Big gap between the top four and all others here.

RESULT:   Braga   2-0     Braga move into a tie for 3rd.  They’ve played one more match than Sporting CP with whom they’re tied though.

  1. Istanbul Basaksehir vs. Kayserispor – Turkey Super Lig

A reminder:  This is a top 10 league in Europe.  We pay attention.

Galatasaray – 60, Besiktas 59, Istanbul 59.  Fenerbahce 57.  Say hello to the most dramatic league finish coming.  Five matches remain for everyone.  Just two will make CL.

I.B. are better on both sides of the ball than the #6 visitors today, should take care of business.  Kayser aren’t playing for any Euro-postseason.

RESULT:   Istanbul   3-1   I.B. move into 1st.  They’ve played one more match than the teams right behind them though.

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Um, Dan the Intern-o Inferno?  Turkey Super Lig.  LIG.

Cute though.

  1. Reims vs. AC Ajaccio – Ligue 2

Congrats, Ligue 2!  Noob had a Paraguayan game scouted for this slot today, but Independiente fell out of the top quarter of their league.  Denied!

France’s second division automatically promotes two to Ligue 1 annually.  Reims are #1 and they’re unlikely to be caught now.  ACA are #3.  That’s good to make the league’s Promotion Playoffs, but they’re also just a point behind #B Nimes.

RESULT:   Reims   1-0

  1. Melbourne City vs. Brisbane Roar – Australia A-League

More denial!  Noob had an Algerian Ligue 1 match all lined up, but Hussein Day fell off the radar like Independiente.

Instead, we finish our globetrotting Down Under.  It’s the Playoffs!  The top two regular season finishers are getting byes.  Four more face off in Knockout matches to see who plays the league leaders.

Melbourne City finished third, Brisbane 6th.  Noob has confirmed that the Playoff champions – not the regular season champion – gets an Asian Champions League invite.  While not confirmed, Noob assumes the loser of the Playoff final will get the other invite.

RESULT:   Melbourne City   2-0

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Good thing this makes sense.

’10 to Track’ soccer matches Weekend Edition! Premier, MLS, all the best – plus new league coverage announcement

Hitting the hinterlands of world footyball yesterday was a dream, as always.  But weekends are where T2T gets (comparatively) serious.

Don’t miss the Sunday new league coverage announcement.  It’s gonna be!– well, it’s gonna be content.

Saturday, 3/31

  1. Chicago Fire vs. Portland Timbers – MLS

Both clubs have lost both their games this early season.  Last year, they finished 3rd and 6th in the Western Conference.  (Chicago has been moved into the East now.)  Both teams struggled on defense, at least when compared to other playoff teams.  (6:00 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 6).

RESULT:   2-2

 

Portland- Basilisk’s iconic fried chicken sammich.  

Nice work!  Chicago deep dish still wins.

B.  Chicago Red Stars vs. Portland Thorns – NWSL

Double-header in Bridgeview, IL!   At least Noob assumes both are hosting on their same home pitch.  The 8:15 PM start time for this match suggests it.  These two finished in 4th and 2nd, respectively, last year.

RESULT:   Portland   2-3

Image result for letter B number 2

 

 

Can’t hedge!   You’re either into boring old Number Two or down with Number B.

  1. Paris Saint-Germain vs. AS Monaco – Coupe de la League

The Final!   This is not the FA Cup, but rather a tournament open to pro clubs in just the top three divisions in France.  Given that PSG has demolished all of Ligue 1 this year, Noob wonders if league #B Monaco will be revved up to snatch some hardware away from PSG.

RESULT:   PSG   3-0

  1. Bayern Munich vs. Borussia Dortmund – Bundesliga

1st place is out of reach for 3rd-place Dortmund, so maintaining their top-four place in the table and getting a Champions League invite is the goal.  They’d love even a draw against champ-in-waiting Bayern.  (12:30 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Bayern   6-0     not a typo.   this was a terrible, awesome rout

Image result for borussia dortmund funny

 

Those masks won’t help you hide from Bayern.   

BVB on your shirts, fellas.

  1. Juventus vs. AC Milan – Serie A

Milan is five points out of 4th place and the last Champions League berth.  1st-place Juventus has only lost twice all year, yet only lead Napoli by two points.

This is a bad matchup for Milan, as they have trouble scoring and Juve has the league’s best defense.  This may well be the world’s most important match this weekend.  (2:45 PM, Rai Italia)

RESULT:   Juve    3-1

  1. Sevilla vs. Barcelona – La Liga

Sevilla does not have a realistic shot of cracking the top four, but they are in line for a Europa League invite, being in 6th place.  7th will get in as well this year, but even that is not guaranteed for Sevilla.  Lots of teams are in the hunt.  Barcelona are undefeated, the best team in the world.  (2:45 PM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:   2-2

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6th place could win this dartboard and pool table.  And longer pool table?…

  1. Ljubljana vs. Maribor – Slovenia Prva Liga

[loo-blee-ah-nuh] have almost wrapped up the league title.  It’s hard to say historic powerhouse #B Maribor is ever quite completely out of it, but they are ten points back.  This league is only the 30th-strongest in Europa, but Noob is always down for matchups from the very top of tables.

RESULT:   1-1

Sunday, 4/1

**Soon, Noob’s exclusive coverage of the Isle of Sodor Premier League will begin!   Sudric football has been loosely organized at best.  Until now, with the formation of their FA.**

The Island of Sodor with it's hypothetical location in the UK (From Thomas the Tank Engine/Thomas and Friends) [OS] [5526x3175]

  1. Chelsea vs. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur – English Premier

The only important drama left in Premier’s top of the table is right here.  5th place hosts 4th, a battle for the league’s final Champions League spot next year.   With just eight matches to go, it’s not quite a must-win for Chelsea at five points back.  But they sure as shite can’t lose.

So, c’mon, Chelsea.  Don’t let the traitorously-named Hotspur get the best of you.  Ramp up the so-so offense a bit and take these ne’er-do-wells down!  (11:00 AM, NBCSN)

RESULT:   Hotspur   1-3

  1. UNAM Pumas vs. Necaxa – Liga MX

9th vs. 10th doesn’t look intriguing at a glance.  But remember:  the top eight clubs make the Liguilla, the postseason league tournament.

Noobstrdamus has access to the soccer alternate planes, has learned Necaxa will score the road upset today.  It couldn’t be that I read Pumas can’t play D at all.   It’s the first thing.  *nod*

RESULT:   1-1    Prognostication fail.  In fact, Pumas played most of the second half a man down.

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I once tamed a wild puma with just my headband.

  1. Boca Juniors vs. Talleres – Argentina Premier

Finishing off the Track in style, as Noob is wont to do!   #1 hosts #B in Argentina’s astounding 28-club deep league.  Best offense versus best defense.   Pirate yourself an interwebs stream of this one somewhere.

RESULT:   Boca Juniors   2-1      Juniors get the go-ahead goal at 90′, open up a huge -9- point lead in the table.

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See?  It’s a good idea.

 

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Sunday (3/18) – All four of Europe’s top leagues repped

The ten most important matches for the newish American fan to follow.  It’s what Noob does.  I filter better than Brita.

  1. Dallas vs. Seattle Sounders – MLS

Dallas stumbled down the stretch last season and finished 7th in the Western Conference, just missing the playoffs.  Noob-reviled Seattle finished #B.  They did it with a top defense.  It’s a new season, sure, but Dallas needs to get on the board first, or it could be a long day.   (5:00 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 6)

RESULT:   Dallas   3-0     And there was JOY

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Man, I really loathe you, Seattle!

B.  Wigan Athletic vs. Southampton – English FA Cup

Wigans’ defeat last round of Premier League titans Man City was the upset of the season worldwide.  The third-tier league side have to believe anything is possible now.  They get a comparatively manageable foe today.

Southampton are two leagues above Wigan and that should mean everything.  But will they even be putting all their energies into this tournament?   They’ve slipped into the Relegation Zone in Premier League, could not be blamed for saving starters for those matches.  (9:30 AM, FS2)

RESULT:   Southampton   0-2

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Number B’s taking it all in stride.

  1. Bethlehem Steel vs. Richmond Kickers – USL

Last year’s #8 hosts #14.  But it’s the one American division two game today.  And…

RESULT:   Bethlehem   4-1

Image result for bethlehem steel zoolander

 

…the return of superfan Derek Zoolander!

  1. Marseille vs. Lyon – Ligue 1

This is Lyon’s last, best chance to make a move on a Champions League berth for next year.  The league has slipped in strength and now only gets three slots.  And Lyon is in 4th, by five points behind their hosts today.

RESULT:   Lyon   2-3     Lyon with the winner at 90′!

  1. RB Leipzig vs. Bayern Munich – Bundesliga

Maybe 6th-place Leipzig can hope the undisputed German champs will play a bunch of backups on the road today, rest up for their current Champions League run.   (1:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Leipzig   2-1     They’re still in 6th, but now 4th and a C.L. berth is at least in sight.

  1. Villareal vs. Atletico Madrid – La Liga

It’s hard to imagine undefeated Barcelona suddenly going on a skid.  At eight points back, #B Atletico has to be hoping beyond hope for exactly that.

Villareal, meanwhile, are in a tight four-way race for three Europa League invites.  They’re probably the best of those four, but that doesn’t mean they can’t lose this game of Spanish musical chairs.   (1:30 PM, beIN Sports en Español).

RESULT:   Villareal  2-1      Winner at 90′ + 2!!

Image result for violent musical chairs

 

 

Musical Chairs – to the death!!

 

  1. Sampdoria vs. Inter Milan – Serie A

5th-place Inter Milan have played one less game than 4th-place Lazio, and trail them by just a point in the table.  That’s the last spot for a Champions League berth.

Noobstradamus prognosticates they will not play for a mere draw, even on the road against a tough 7th-place Sampdoria side trying to qualify for the next Europa League.  The hosts like to play a wide open game, and Inter would be better off trying to beat them at it than slowing things down.  2-3 is the score of the predestined shootout.   (7:30 AM, Rai Italia)

RESULT:   Inter Milan   0-5    Well, I had the number of goals and winner right.   Not a total bed-crapping.

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barba fluente, niente pantaloni

  1. Saprissa vs. Herediano – Costa Rica Premier

Alajuense took over the Clausura (second half-season) lead with their win yesterday.  But Saprissa and Herediano are just one and two points back, respectively.  There are just a few games to go, so better believe the league leaders are hoping for a draw in this match.

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Apollon Limassol vs. APOEL Limassol – Cypriot First Division

Tied for 1st in Cyprus!  This league has already separated into its Championship and Relegation halves.  Apollon lead by virtue of greater head-to-head goal differential, but the odds of that mattering by the end seem low.

RESULT:   Apollon   4-2

  1. Cluj vs. FCSB – Romania Liga I

In Romania, too, they have divided into their league two halves now.

These two were just four points apart in the table when the regular season ended.  Before starting the Championship part of their season, the points they’ve all earned are halved (and then rounded up), so now these two are even closer.  #1 and league’s best defense hosts #B, league’s best offense.  Classic.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for romania classic funny

 

Noob had not known TV classic Beverly Hillbillies  was remade for a Romanian audience.

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Sunday, 3/4 – Welcome, LAFC

No time for dawdling, the ten most important soccer matches to follow for the newish American fan await us, Noobites!

  1. Sporting Kansas City vs. New York City FC – MLS

Last year’s Western Conference #5 and a The Management fave hosts the Eastern’s #2.

Noob will refrain from rooting against KC just to spite The Management.  For now.  It’s a gesture of good will with which to start the season.  (7:30 PM Eastern, FS1)

RESULT:   0-2   NYCFC

Image result for truce funny

B.  Seattle Sounders vs. Los Angeles FC – MLS

Welcome, new MLS club!   Seattle – fie on you, and you know why.  Less-tenured Noobites can search back to learn about the douchebag fan/TA first soccer fan I ever knew.  Actually, I guess that is the story.  (5:00 PM, ESPN Deportes)

RESULT:   0-1   LAFC

Image result for B is for

 

 

Number B welcomes you to the soccer family, baby LAFC.

  1. Manchester City vs. Chelsea – English Premier

The new league champs host last year’s.  Chelsea wear the sadpants, as it’s looking likely that won’t even make top four and next year’s Champions League.  Noob hopes they can catch fire starting here, pass 4th place, traitorously-named Tottenham  Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur.  (11:00 AM, NBCSN)

RESULT:   Man City   1-0

  1. Toluca vs. Pachuca – Liga MX

Tied for 6th hosts tied for 10th in a table so tight, the ordinal rankings just don’t matter yet.   Pachuca tends to play more wide open than most sides, so if Toluca can score first, this could turn into a rout.

In fact, Noobstradamus sees it just that way, 4-1 for the host Sausagers.  (1:00 PM, Univision)

RESULT:   Toluca   2-1

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Sausage can be conjugated that way?

Not even I saw that coming.

  1. Barcelona vs. Atletico Madrid – La Liga

Barcelona have yet to lose on the season.  A win today against #B Atletico – with just one loss of their own – likely salts the title away.  They play the league’s best defense, but Barcelona’s an absolute monster with the ball.  (10:15 AM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:   Barcelona   1-0

  1. Montpelier vs. Lyon – Ligue 1

These two faced off less than a month ago in the Coupe de France.  Montpelier lost 1-2 at home then.  Will history repeat itself?

Lyon is in 4th, five points behind Marseilles for the third and final Champions League berth.  Montpelier are tied for 6th, trying to catch Rennes for the last Europa League slot.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for history repeats itself meme

 

 

 

 

History repeating itself

  1. AC Milan vs. Inter Milan – Serie A

Welcome back to the most interesting league race going.  Inter Milan were yesterday pushed out of the top four and a Champions League berth.  Today they’ll pull even on games played, but need a win to jump back up a spot in the table.

AC Milan are tied for 6th, but out of Europa League qualification based on tiebreaking goal differential.  They don’t have the defense to be great this year.  Noob smells a road win for “The Big Grass Snake”.

RESULT:   ppd

  1. Lokamotiv Moscow vs. Spartak Moscow – Russian Premier

#1 hosts #5, but with win a win Spartak would climb all the way up to #B.  Unlikely.  There’s a serious gap in defensive capability between them and the real powers of the league.

This is now the 6th-ranked league in European play.

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for poor defense soccer funny

 

 

 

Defense.  You’re doing it wrong.

  1. Legia Warsaw vs. Lech Poznan – Poland Ekstraklasa

The regular season title is up for grabs as #1 hosts #3 in Europe’s 20th-ranked league.  Poznan sports the best goal differential in the league, so should give the league leaders a tough fight.

RESULT:   Warsaw   2-1

  1. Sanarate vs. Antigua Guatemala – Guatemala National League

Antigua was the Apertura (first half season) champs and are on top again now in the Clausura.

Sanrate has seen massive improvement.  They only finished 9th,  but are now tied for #B.  They scored 14 and gave up 22 goals before.  That line is now 14-8.  Still. Noob thinks they’d be pleased with a draw today, even being at home.

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for pleased funny

 

 

Wait, can you say that?  That feels wrong. 

’10 to Track’ soccer for Saturday, 2/24 – Premier League and other ‘Hiccup Watch’ matches

10 to Track briefly returns to its former format – full complements of matches for both Saturday and Sunday!  

Luxuriate in it, yet know this will not be regular.  An exhausted Noober passed out last night before being able to finish.  It’s faster today to not filter for just one list for the weekend.

But who knows!  If the Noobite masses clamor for separate “ten most important games to follow’s” on the weekends, it shall be so.

(Note:  Noob’s starting to list game times, if the game is televised on a channel or network that I find reasonably possible to get in the U.S.  All times are Eastern.)

  1. Liverpool vs. West Ham United – English Premier

Let’s call this “Hiccup Watch”.  Maybe just for today.  Watching sound doesn’t make sense.  Where’s my staff, we need to brainstorm.

With just a few matches to go, Liverpool sits in 3rd place, good for one of the league’s four Champions League berths.  They could easily finish anywhere from 2nd to 5th; the table is tight.   They have plenty of motivation to stay focused at home against 12th-place West Ham.  Can they avoid a costly hiccup?

RESULT:   Liverpool   4-1    Liverpool move to #B, for the moment.  Man Utd. has a tough match tomorrow, so they might even stay there. 

Image result for soccer hiccup

 

 

Today, Hiccup learns it’s not easy to learn how to train your angry footballer.

B.  CF América vs. Tijuana – Liga MX  

Halfway through the 2017-18 Clausura (second half-season), CFA leads the pack.  Tijuana are in 8th, the last slot that will earn a league postseason berth.

CFA are undefeated, scoring like it’s going out of style, and playing nearly the league’s best defense.  Tijuana can’t score a lick, but have made tremendous strides on defense.  0-1 or 0-0 and a shootout seem the only likely ways the visitors would pull an upset today.  (10 PM, Univision)

Image result for Mexican number two

 

Dios mio, Numero Dos-  so many stereotypes.

Make way for Numero B!

  1. VfB Stuttgart vs. Eintracht Frankfurt – Bundesliga

13th hosts 3rd.  The visitors are in basically the same position as Liverpool – in a CL slot, but in a tight table pack.   Neither team scores a ton.  If Frankfurt gets the first goal, they will button things up for the win.

RESULT:   Stuttgart   1-0

  1. Real Madrid vs. Alavés – La Liga

Another “Hiccup Watch” for our Saturday.

Real Madrid have finally started to turn things around, climbed to 3rd.  Villareal is the only team that could reasonably pass them in the table, so they appear good for one of the league’s four Champions League invites.  But will they relax against 16th– place Alaves?

RESULT:   Real   4-0

Image result for funny hiccup

  1. Manchester City vs. Chelsea Ladies – WSL

The Man City gals had their own hiccup recently, losing to mid-pack Birmingham.  It is their only loss on the season.  This puts them two points behind undefeated Chelsea, so this is as important a league match as we will see today.  A road win would likely settle the title.

RESULT:   2-2   Man City fell behind 0-2 early, coming back with the equalizer in 86′.

  1. Freiburg vs. Bayern Munich – women’s Bundesliga

Two teams qualify for Champions League on the ladies’ side in Germany.  #B Munich is two points up on Freiburg, but they are about statistically identical otherwise.

RESULT:   Freiburg   2-0   They switch places in the table.

wc

 

 

Brass band-themed urinals in Freiburg.   Noob wishes he was kidding.

  1. Connah’s Quay vs. TNS – Wales Premier

The New Saints have all but wrapped up the league title.  Again.  Connah’s Quay is in 3rd and trying to climb a spot in order to auto-qualify for Europa League.  Since the match is at CQ, this might be a fair fight.

RESULT:   TNS   0-1

  1. Wydad Casablanca vs. TP Mazembe – CAF Super Cup

Like other continental federations, the Africans have an annual match between the winners of their Champions League and secondary tournaments (in Africa, the Confederation Cup).

Wydad have really struggled in Morocco’s type flight.  Perhaps all the international play has worn them out.  DR Congo’s best come to call for this exhibition, and they’re undefeated in their (admittedly weaker) league.

RESULT:   Wydad   1-0

  1. USM Alger vs. MC Alger – Algeria Ligue 1

If USM wants to make a move on cracking the top two and earning a Champions League berth, the time is now.  20+ games into their season, they sit five points behind #B MC Oran.

MC Alger is only in 5th.  They wouldn’t normally catch Noob’s wandering gaze, but intracity rivalries are hawwwt.

RESULT:   2-2     USM went up 2-0 early, gave this one away.

Image result for you're not hawt

 

But if you’re bats**t crazy, we have a hard time caring…

  1. Zeta vs. Buducnost Podgorica – Montenegro First League

The only drama left in this league may be for the second Europa League invite.  First place Niksic ran away and hid from everyone.  BP seems secure in a #B finish.  Zeta are trying to stay clear of Mladost, who are four points back.

RESULT:   1-1

Honorable Mention:   Toulouse vs. AS Monaco (Ligue 1), Inter Milan vs. Benevento (Serie A), any Swedish or Finnish Group Stage FA Cup match