Tag: Manchester United

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition (12/4-6) soccer match previews – Copa Argentina Final completes our Track

The Midweek Edition now stands complete at ten.   There was just one match needed for Thursday to complete the set.

Tuesday and Wednesday’s matches and results now follow further down.

Please consider following Noob on Twitter @SoccerNoobUSA.com.  Inquire for details on how to possibly join footyball discussions with cool cats on Bros Talking Soccer’s new Slack.   And click an ad , if you are so inclined.  Some of the stuff is even soccer-related!

Back again tomorrow for Globetrotting Friday!

Thursday

10. Rosario Central vs. Gimnasia LP – Copa Argentina

The Final! And this match is a one-off in Mendoza – a neutral location. Noob is continually surprised that outside Europe in particular that such otherwise weak-seeming teams advance to title matches. Rosario are in 14th of 28 Primera league teams and Gimnasia in 21st. The winner gets much more than a few pesos and a trophy. There’s a qualification to the next Copa Libertadores up for grabs!

Trying to get excited for this one, but it may be tough to watch. Rosario doesn’t score much, and they look like an offensive juggernaut compared to Gimnasia. Catch this one at 7:10 PM Eastern on TyC Sports International if you dare. And have a deep enough satellite TV package.

RESULT:   Rosario   1-1  /  4-1 PK’s        All hail the Argentine champs!

Image result for Mendoza argentina weirdSo long from Mendoza!

At least you can stay in a cool vineyard “hotel” when visiting.

 

Wednesday

3. Monterrey vs. Cruz Azul – Liga MX

Semifinals time in the Apertura (first half-season) Liguilla (playoffs)!

This this Round will also feature two-legged ties, same as the Quarters did. Regular season #1 Cruz Azul gets the honor of hosting the second leg of the home-and-away series, which means they open in Monterrey today.

Cruz Azul haven’t lost since October 20. They’d won five straight matches until finishing off their quarterfinal draw with a 1-1 draw last time out. Plenty of teams score as much or more than C.A., but none defend like them (just 13 goals given up in the 17-match regular season).

Monterrey haven’t proven to be quite as good on either side of the ball. But as one would imagine, they’re not that far off C.A.’s pace, given that they made the playoffs. They’ve not lost in five matches. But they’ve not beaten Cruz Azul in nine consecutive tries.

RESULT:   Monterrey   1-0                 Make that once in their last ten tries!

4. Manchester United vs. Arsenal – English Premier League

Arsenal just had a big, God-ordained win in the North London derby. After doing the Lord’s work in defeating named-for-an-historical-traitor (Harry Percy) Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur, can they get pumped up again for Man Utd.?

Man Utd have had a dismal year compared to expectations, the usual-title contenders wallowing in 8th place right now. They haven’t won a league match in a month. None of this has been a fluke, either, as they’re struggling on both sides of the ball. For this team to rise again, the great goalkeeper David de Gea is going to need to lead the way. Defense has been even weaker than offense on the season.

Arsenal are in 4th, which is the number of clubs EPL will qualify for the next Champions League. One would point out their offense as the best around if it weren’t for league #1 Man City blowing everyone out of the water in that department. Defense has been spotty for them, too, at least compared to other table-top clubs. German international Bernd Lemo has decidedly been the weak link. Looking for a shootout today.   (3:00 PM Eastern, NBCSN)

RESULT:   2-2

Image result for Sir Topham Hatt happy

 

Sir Topham Hatt cannot be cross so soon after a Hotspur loss.

5. Atletico Junior vs. Atletico PR – Copa Sudamericana

The Final! And crap on a cracker, Noob would’nt have been passing on covering this event had I not had bad info stuck in my head.

This tournament is the equivalent of Europa League, a tournament below the level of Champions League – or, in South America – Copa Libertadores. Noob did not think the winner of Sudamericana automatically qualified for the following years Libertadores, but they do. And that’s some high stakes.

Columbia’s Junior started in the this year’s Libertadores. After finishing 3rd place in their pod in the Group Stage there, they were dropped into this event. They’ve been very strong in their domestic league statistically, yet are just in 6th place right now. Trouble closing out the close matches, anyone?

Atletico Paranaense only qualified for this event, were not dropped down from following a Libertadores round. They just finished the Brazilian season one spot (7th) out of qualifying for the next Libertadores already.

Based on general knowledge of the pecking order of domestic leagues in South America and Elo ratings from footballdatabase.com, it seems fair to say Junior are an even match at best at home today.

RESULT:   1-1

6. Zamora vs. Deportivo Lara – Venezuela Premier

This is the second leg of the Serie Final, which pits the playoff champions from the Apertura and Clausura stages of the season against one another. The first match was played at Lara and ended in a 1-1 draw.

If one is interested in a couple extra details, scroll down to the Leg One match preview from 12/2. Suffice it to say here and now that Zamora are the hotter team the second half of the year and most definitely favored today at home.

RESULT:   Zamora   4-1          2018 Venezuelan chamPEEENS will dance with that sexy disco robot from the future of 1984

Winners get to party at KirovBar, Barinas (home of Zamora FC) for disco and with this guy….thing!

7. Ulsan Hyundai vs. Daegu FC – (South) Korean FA Cup

The Final! First leg, anyway. Second one will be at Daegu. In Europe, FA Cup winners typically just qualify for the secondary Europa League tournament. Here, the winner not only qualifies for the next AFC Champions League, they’ll enter at the Group Stage (the latest any team enters).

Ulsan finished the K League 1 in third place. That’s just high enough to net them an AFC CL berth, but not as late as the Group Stage. They have to play their way into that as things stand now, via a “playoff round”.

Daegu finished just 7th, didn’t qualify for squat. They’re not nearly as good on either side of the ball as Ulsan, but particularly trail them in goal-scoring.

That said, Daegu haven’t lost in any of their last seven matches across all competitions. They enter vastly hotter than Ulsan. Noob thinks Daegu are easily an even match for Ulsan, maybe even should be favored, given all the momentum they have.

RESULT:   Daegu   1-2            #7 in the league, but #1 in our FA Cup-hearts!   

8. Northeast United vs. Bengaluru – India Super League

Reminder: India has two top-flite leagues. The other is the I-League. ISL is the one that does not have promotion/relegation. It was created under more of an MLS-like franchise model to promote soccer in the country. They do not qualify teams into international competition like AFC Champions League.

But that doesn’t mean this #B-#1 matchup is any less shiny and alluring! Top four will make the league playoffs. Bengalaru are still undefeated eight matches into the season. They have a game in hand on Northeast, on top of leading them by four points in the table. These teams are the cream of the crop defensively, so look for a low-scoring affair today.   (9:00 AM, Asianet Movies)

RESULT:   1-1        Bengaluru saved their undefeated record at 90′ with a goal

Image result for shiny things funny

 

That… doesn’t feel relevant…

Who’s doing images around here now, anyway? 

Noob missed Dan the Intern-Inferno.

9. Turbine Potsdam vs. VfL Wolfsburg – Frauen-Bundesliga

Lyon may be the #1 women’s team in Europe, but it’s Germany’s top league that ranks most highly. And no German team is mightier than Wolfsburg – 10-0-0 so far.

Top two will qualify for the next women’s UEFA Champions League. That second slot looks likely to either go to Potsdam or Bayern Munich. No one’ going to get Wolfsburg though. After all, they’ve outscored opponents 46-2 so far. Good golly.

RESULT:   1-1         The leaders can bleed, they’re human!

Tuesday

1. UANL vs. Guadalajara – Liga MX Femenil

Time for the second leg of the Apertura (first half-season) Semfinals! All four teams are in action today. This matchup intrigues Noob a little more because UANL are undefeated. Guadalajara got a 1-1 draw at their own place, no small feat.

Matching up with the league’s best on their own turf likely to be a whole other matter. UANL scored over three goals per match during the regular season, 2/3 again as many as Guadalajara, and while playing about the same caliber of defense.

RESULT:   UANL   5-3        On to the finals!

B. Montpelier vs. Lille – Ligue 2

Paris Saint-Germain are still undefeated, miles ahead of the pack. So the race is on for just two more Champions League berths. Lille have fallen to 4th, not having one in any of their last five outings. They’ve been outscored 8-3 over that time. Montpelier are #B in the table.

RESULT:   Lille   0-1        Lille jump up to # B

But wait, just two matches to start the week?  Yup.   Sounds like more high-quality content that soccer lovers everywhere want.   It’s time for a —

NOOB SANDWICH REVIEWOOB!

Last installment of NOOB SANDWICH REVIEWOOB, Noob took Subway to task over there new steak sandwich on sunflower bread, a catastrophe if ever there was one.

Today’s featured sammich is much close to home for Noob.  My six year-old daughter – PersonNoob -created this one recently.

What you’re seeing is four pieces of wheat bread in a

 

single stack.   Each is liberally covered with strawberry jelly.  Here pictured, I’ve removed the top layer to show what she has smashed inside — a Little Bites “birthday cake”-flavored mini-muffin.

We know from “Fizzy’s Lunch Lab” television program that “wheat is sweet”.  But four pieces?   I applaud PersonNoob’s creativity, but one only needs more than two if you’re layering the sammich in different ways between slices.  I blame myself as a parent.

The mini-muffins are fine as prepackaged fare goes.  Certainly eaten my share of ones PN hasn’t finished on our way to her school.

To my surprise, the sweet jam and the “birthday” aspect of the muffin didn’t make this sickeningly sweet, at least not at the first bite.    Yes, I tried it, though only ventured that one bite.  As you might imagine, the texture was just straight up waaaay too much bread.

So does Noob dare really rate a sandwich his own sweet daughter created?   You betcha.   And while this is the highest rating I’ve yet given a sandwich, the finished product still didn’t do all that well.

On the Noob Sammich Review sammich rating scale of one to five Sammiches, I rate the “Extra-Tall Wheat Jelly and Birthday Cake Mini-Muffin Sandwich” at just 1.5 Sammiches.

’10 to Track’ Sunday (11/11) soccer matches – MLS playoffs lead the way

Don’t forget to check back on any Track’s matches later for results!

Also, the newest of Noobites may always check the Vocab page to the right on the main page.

  1. New York Red Bulls vs. Columbus Crew – Major League Soccer

After leading the field most of the regular season, Atlanta United slipped late and lost the Supporters Shield to NYRB.  That means Red Bulls had the most points in the standings of any team in the league.  And in most leagues in the world, that club would be the champions for the season.

But in Amuricuh, we do Playoffs!  They’ve reached the Conference Semifinals, the second round.  Here (and next round), the opponents face off in two-legged, home and away ties.  The East’s #5 seed, Columbus, won their home match 1-0.

Red Bulls scored nearly half again as much than the Crew throughout the season.  It’s hard to imagine them being held done a second match in a row, especially in the Big Apple.

New York’s last seven goals have all been scored by different players.  Noob thinks early-season leader Brandon Wright-Phillips will reemerge.  But all the momentum belongs to the visitors.  Columbus haven’t lost to Red Bulls in their last four matches.   (7:30 PM EST, FS1)

RESULT:   NYRB   3-0      On to the Conference Finals for Red Bulls!   Daniel Royer with two goals and an assist.

B.  Manchester City vs. Manchester United – English Premier League

Derby time!

After a dreadful start to the season, Man Utd are perhaps finally snapping out of their funk.  They’ve climbed into 8th place, won three matches in a row across all competitions, including a massive Champions League victory over Juventus.  All have been 2-1 or 1-2 wins.

Meanwhile, Man City just jeeps trucking along, undefeated in league.   Over the course of their six-match win streak, they’ve outscored opponents by a staggering 23-1 margin.  It’s hard to believe they only lead the next three clubs by two points each in the table.   (11:30 AM, NBCSN)

RESULT:   Man City   3-1       Bernado Silva with a goal and an assist

Image result for alphabet race

 

 

 

Now THAT’S a derby.

Number B, victor!

  1. Santos vs. CF America – Liga MX

With two matches to go in the Apertura (first half-season), these two have already guaranteed themselves top half-finishes.  That means they’ll play in the Liguilla (postseason tournament) no matter what.

But seeding matters a lot.  They trail #1 Cruz Azul by five and four points in the table, respectively.  In all likelihood, they’re fighting for the runners-up position.

CF America’s defense is the tale today.  They’ve ratcheted that up a notch their last three matches, allowing just one goal over that span.  They’re a regular league powerhouse.  Noob thinks they get the road upset today and will win the Liguilla no matter what seed they go in with.   (7:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   1-1

  1. AC Milan vs. Juventus – Serie A

Remember that Champions League loss Juventus took to Manchester City?  Well, no one’s managed that in Serie A all season.  They’re second-best in Italy on both sides of the ball, three points up on Napoli, and likely to win on the road today.

Milan are tied for 5th and just don’t have the backline to withstand Cristiano Ronaldo & Co.   (2:30 PM, Rai Italia)

RESULT:   Juve   0-2

Image result for cristiano ronaldo funny

 

 

Artist thought Ronaldo had taken one too many headers.

  1. Sevilla vs. Espanyol – La Liga

Espanyol are the city of Barcelona’s “other team”.  Barcelona-the club are still #1 in the league, but their little sisters are on the rise!

Last year they finished just 11th, but now they sit in 3rd place.  Their success comes on defense, though they’re not completely deficient when it comes of scoring.  That’s where they look a little stronger this year.

Sevilla are just one notch back in the table.  They’re high-end scoring comes at the expense of giving up too many goals to perhaps compete with Barcelona for the title.  At home, however, they’re not likely to have trouble with upstarts Espanyol.  It’s a bad matchup for today’s guests.   (12:30 PM, beIN Sports en Español)

RESULT:   Sevilla   2-1      Ever Banega with two assits

  1. Vicarstown vs. Crovan’s Gate – Isle of Sodor Premier

Crovan’s Gate made the Semifinals of the first-ever IoS FA Cup this summer.  As the three Divisions were being planned for this inaugural PL season, The Gate were slated for the second tier.  More, it was thought they wouldn’t even be in the top half of clubs there!  But play on the Isle, historically, has been loosely organized at best.

The new FA knew it might be tough to really gauge relative club strengths, regardless of town or village sizes.  To their credit, they decided to place all the Quarterfinalists in Premier level to start out.

In typical Sudric fashion, neither team plays a ton of D.    Bigger Vicarstown comes in the favorites today.   But there’s a reason British betting houses haven’t started offering lines on Sodor matches.  There’s just no league history and performance for them (or us) to go off of.

RESULT:   4-4        

 

  1. Arsenal vs. Moulien – Guadeloupe Division d’Honneur

Noob’s quest to get to know all our CONCACAF neighbors a little better rolls on!  The “other Arsenal” are #1, Moulien #B.  Amical Club are just behind them and all three are undefeated after six league matches.   It’s too early to know much, but worth pointing out that Arsenal have only beaten Moulien once in their last six matches.

The top two finishers will qualify for the Caribbean Club Championships.  That, in turn, is a qualifying event for CONCACAF Champions League.

  1. Nacional vs. Peñarol – Uruguay Premier

The Final!

Uruguay’s season is divided into two main stages, just like much of Latin America.  These two each won one of those.  They won 26 matches each, with Peñarol scoring all of one more point on the whole year.  Both teams call Montevideo home.  This is where today’s one off Final is being played, though not on either club’s home pitch.

The second half of the year, Peñarol started to really flex, becoming the best team on both sides of the ball.  No reason to think that won’t make them the favorite on a neutral grounds.   (2:30 PM, GOL TV)

RESULT:   Peñarol   1-2        Congrats to the national champs!    Cristiano Rodriguez with the go-ahead goal via penalty in AET.

Image result for so many letter U

 

 

 

Sooo many U’s…

  1. NK Lokomotiva vs. Dinamo Zagreb – Croatia First Division

Statistically, the teams look nearly identical.  but it’s Zagreb who are still undefeated with close to half the season in the books.

It’s not exactly must-win for Lokomotiva, but if they drop this home match, they’re then eight behind Zagreb.  That’s a lot for any team to make up in a half season in any league.  Either team can score in bunches, but defense is where both really set themselves apart.

Croatia’s top flight is ranked #16 by UEFA.  Were they just one spot higher, the league would qualify two teams into the Champions league.  As is, just one.

RESULT:   Dinamo   0-1

  1. Suduva vs. Zalgiris Vilnius – Lithuania A Lyga

We finish our Track much farther down the European league rankings.  But it’s still a #1-#B matchup, no matter the Lyga is just #41 in UEFA.

There is no competition there for these two.  Suduva lead everyone’s favorite Superman movie villain-sounding club by five points in the table with the season winding down.  The next best team is two dozen points farther back.

Unlike Croatia’s best, these two are much more offensively-minded.  Both average more than two goals per game, so a shootout looks to be in store.

RESULT:   Z.V.   1-2          Domantas Simkus with the game-winner at 90′

 

 

So long from Marijampole, home of club Suduva!

 

The Millennia Monument

’10 to Track’ Saturday (10/20) soccer matches – USL Playoffs, Liga MX, Premier League lead the way

When I became a man I put away childish things – 1 Corinthians 13:11

Noob spends a lot of the week on nuttiness.  That doesn’t change on weekends.  But today’s ‘ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game’ gets at least comparatively serious.

Today’s matches are a cavalcade of wonder and quality.   Feast.  Feast!!

  1. Pittsburgh Riverhounds vs. Bethlehem Steel – United Soccer League Playoffs

Except for one match from yesterday, all the opening Round of 16 matches are being played today.  The format is knockout – no home and away series.  Noob’s selected this one because intrastate rivalry adds an extra layer of fun.

They are the #3 and #6 seeds, respectively.  Noob as a hard time necessarily saying Pittsburgh are the “best” defense in the league.   They allowed the fewest goals all season, so it’s quite possible.  But they didn’t score much compared to their postseason-qualifying peers.

Noob’s calling for the upset today!   I don’t believe in the small ball-strategy teams like the Riverhounds try to stand on.  Yes, it’s served them well this season.  But Noob thinks more balanced teams reign in crunch time.  In the Eastern Conference, no team was more balanced than Bethlehem.

I believe all the playoff matches are available online via ESPN+ (7:00 PM EST).

RESULT:   Bethlehem   2-2  /  7-8   pk

Image result for zoolander bethlehem steel

 

With Stiller’s help, Bethlehem are ready to let the beast out of the cage.

B.  Chelsea vs. Manchester United – English Premier League

Chelsea are part of an undefeated, three-way tie for 1st.  Good defense, exceptional on goal-scoring.  They’re on a mission after missing out on the current Champions League because of their 5th-place finish last season.

Man Utd. have only won one of their last five matches across all competitions.  When a team with the caliber of players they have isn’t D-ing up, it can be a sign of motivation, off-field troubles.  And whoa have United been dealing with that.  The power struggle between one of their superstars (Pogba) and head coach (Mourinho) continues unabated.

At least they’ve won three of four specifically in the EPL.  Still, Chelsea should handle them with relative ease at home, a couple goals says I.

On a side note, The Management pointed me to a fine article on the current state of the EPL power structure, why no one is going to touch Man City again this year, that they should dominate by even more than during their record-setting 2017-18 season:

https://www.theringer.com/soccer/2018/10/19/17995886/the-premier-league-standings-are-lying-to-you

Goodness but Noob hates giving The Management any credit for anything.  I will now take a “Crying Game”-scalding hot shower to try and rid myself of the awful feeling.   (7:30 AM, NBCSN)

RESULT:   2-2               Chelsea gets the equalizer at 90+6′!       Anthony Martial with both goals for Man Utd.

  1. Queretaro vs. Cruz Azul – Liga MX

#1 Cruz Azul are coming back down to earth a little, winning and losing two of their last four outings.  The Apertura (first half-season is 2/3 of the way through and they lead the next teams down by two points in the table.

Queretaro are just trying to finish in the top half of the standings, make the Liguilla (Playoffs).  They lead a three-way tie for the eight and final berth.  But they haven’t won a league match since the end of August.  The offense has simply vanished, and to quote the Shawshank warden, like a fart in the wind.

RESULT:   Queretaro   2-0

  1. Barcelona vs. Sevilla – La Liga

Alaves lead the league after a win yesterday, but have nowhere near the firepower to remain there long. They’ve now played one more match than the likely real contenders, like these two here.

Tied-for-3rd Barcelona started the league season with four straight wins, but haven’t won one since.  It’s possible they’re stretching themselves a bit thin with Champions League right now is all.    Sevilla are #B and have trended the other way, winning all four of their latest league games.

Both have the offense to stay table-top.  But will they be able to hold off the more defensive-minded big Madrid teams lurking just down the table?   (6:00 PM, ESPN Deportes)

RESULT:   Barcelona   4-2

Image result for almost sounded smart funny

Noob almost sounded smart there, eh?

But now back to vocab and counting work...

  1. W Connection vs. Central – Trinidad and Tobago Pro League

I’ve watched so much “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood” with my daughter, “PersonNoob”, that I’ve been more inspired than ever in recent months to get to know our CONCACAF neighbors.  And this is the best matchup going, a shiny #1 versus #B face-off.

The league champions and runners-up will qualify for next year’s Caribbean Club Championship.  The winner of that will, in turn, qualify for the 2020 CONCACAF Champions League.

This is a very offense-centric league.  W score theirs and then some, but are the only club there that plays more than seemingly token defense (.5 goals allowed per game-average).  Central are tied for #B.  They’re one of the worst league culprits, though, when it comes to turnstyle-defense.

RESULT:        ppd

  1. T.N.S. vs. Connah’s Quay – Welsh Premier League

Is this a strong European league?  Nope!   #50 ranking in UEFA.  But they’re on the rise, will climb a couple notches when the 2019’s are out.  And Noob gives propers to all top U.K. leagues.

Two traditional heavyweights lead there again.  The New Saints look like the best team in paper, but CQ lead them by two in the table after a run of five straight league wins.

Barry Town is right there, too, but that is a very temporary thing.  No one else but these two will challenge for the title.  Both their defenses are twice as good as anyone else’s, and the same can nearly be said of the offenses.

RESULT:   TNS   3-0

Image result for Welsh kung fu

 

 

 

 

Your soccer is weak, Wales, as is your tiny kung fu!

  1. Ludogorets Razgrad vs. Levski Sofia – Bulgaria First Pro League

We move well up the UEFA league ladder to find Bulgaria’s perfectly average one.  This one’s turning into a three-horse race, and these two are the leaders.

Razgrad like to go up and down more than anyone in the country.  But Levski can run with them and still manage to play fair D.  Noob’s looking for #1 Levski Sofia to get a key road win, which should good and piss off #3 CSKA-Sofia.

RESULT:   Razgrad   2-1

  1. Universidad Catolica vs. Unversidad de Concepcion – Chile Primera

Chile’s league is starting to lose a little luster lately in South America.  But it’s still one of the better ones in CONMEBOL, if no Brazil or Argentina.  It’s rare or perhaps even unique that they don’t divided into multiple partial seasons within a full year, unlike most Latin American leagues do.

The top three will qualify for the next Copa Libertadores, S. America’s version of Champions League.  the university teams are always excellent, and this year is no exception.  These are the #1 and #B teams.  Catolica would be putting some distance between themselves and the pack, but just suffered a surprise bushwhacking by midtable-at-best Huachipato.

RESULT:   Catolica   1-0

Image result for south american geography funny

 

 

 

Don’t confuse Noob, cartographers!

Noob needs no help from you on that front.

  1. Nacional vs. Peñarol – Uruguay Primera

Nacional won the first half-season, qualifying themselves for the Championship Playoff to take place at the end of this current, second stage of the year.  Now they’re #B, trailing their visitor’s today by four in the table with the stage soon ending,

No reason to think that these two won’t be the Championship players when all is said and done.  Peñarol found their defensive stride and have absolutely throttled teams the last couple months.   (2:00 PM, GOL TV)

RESULT:   1-1

Honorable Mention:  Zurich is hosting Young Boys of Bern in another #B-#1 matchup today, in the Swiss Super League.  But YBB are the only “super” ones.  They’re so much better than everyone else this year, they should easily be considered a two-goal fave on the road today.

RESULT:       Noob wouldn’t normally include an HM result, but YBB had to make a big comeback to draw 3-3

  1. Buducnost Podgorica vs. OFK Titograd – Montenegro First League

We finish today’s Track with yet another in the parade of 1-B matchups today!   This league is no stronger than Wales’, but hey – they’re playing.

B.P. are one of the two clubs with which Noob is at all familiar from this league (Sutjeska being the other).  Yet it’s Titograd that are #1!  Not only that, but B.P. haven’t beaten them in their last four tries.  That includes a 1-0 loss this season.

But Tito have only a draw to show for their last two outings.  The teams look pretty similar statistically so far, but B.P. reclaiming their familiar spot atop the table after today feels likely.

RESULT:   BP   2-1

Podgorica, cattedrale della resurrezione di cristo, esterno 01.JPGSo long from Podgorica’s Cathedral of the Resurrection!

Really unique architecture, not mimicking the more common High-Byzantine style like so many Orthodox ones.

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – “It’s finished. It’s done! — Frodo Baggins

The ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game.

For the three Midweek days, Noob teases things out from one to three days.  When you have this many Champions League matches from around the world, they needs be spaced out.  Safety first, Noobites.

(Also, Tuesday and Wednesday matches and some resultd are now at bottom.)

Thursday

  1. Trinidad and Tobago vs. Panama – CONCACAF women’s World Cup qualification

This tournament is the women’s CONCACAF Championship, but as it has for many moons, it is also the qualifying event for World Cup.

The Central American and Caribbean teams have finished their opening round of play.  The top finishers from there now join the big North American teams in a Group Stage, hosted in the U.S.  Two Groups of four, top two from each make the Knockout Stage.  Out of that, the top three will go to 2019 World Cup.

These two teams join America and Mexico.  No one from here is beating the US, so it’s about trying to get to #B in the table.  If either of these two wants a shot at what should be Mexico’s slot, it must start with a win today.  That will probably be T&T.  They outscored their opponents 26-1 last stage.

Noob would guess they’re a heavy favorite against Panama, with an 11-5 GD and only finished #B in their pod last round.

  1. Qarabag vs. Arsenal – Europa League

Group Stage, pods of four, top two move on to the Knockout Stage.  That’s where we are in Europe’s secondary international club tournament.

There are two English teams in action today.  Arsenal’s match gets the Track-nod since they’re playing a stronger team and having to go on the road.  Not that today should be much of a for the Brits.

Qarabag’s been having to play qualifications matches to get to this Round, while Arsenal enter the competition only now.   The Azerbaijanis should easily be considered a two-goal underdog on their own pitch.

RESULT:   Arsenal   0-3

  1. Managua vs. Real Esteli – Nicaragua Premier

At least when Noob scouted this match a few days ago, it was #1 vs. #B.   I’m pressed for time over my real job to go to, so can’t even confirm that those table positions are still accurate.   But Noob does recall that the league was starting to turn into a three-horse race, so neither should be any worse than 3rd.

This isn’t one of even Central America’s stronger leagues.  But we’re CONCACAFfeinating ourselves this year, getting to know our federation neighbors.  Noob may add a little extra info here early evening.

Wednesday

  1. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur vs. Barcelona – UEFA Champions League

Scroll down to Tuesday’s mini-previews for some general tournament details.

Then scroll back up and witness Noob’s ire!   Hotspur are named for the historical, traitorous villain Harry Percy.  King and countrymen both, no one could trust him.   Yet he gets a football club named for him.   Maybe MLS will get Benedict Arnold FC as an expansion club someday.   Noob won’t root for them, either!

Team Bile and Vitriol are only about an even match for reigning La Liga champs at home. They’re going to be in bad shape if they can’t get a result of some kind, as they lost 2-0 to Inter Milan in their Group Stage match.  Barca walloped Dutch PSV Eindhoven 4-0 to open their Round.

Napoli hosting Liverpool is just as intriguing, but Noob’s gotta feed his raaaage.   (3:00 PM EST, TNT)

RESULT:   Barca   2-4

Image result for angry fat controller

 

 

 

Hotspur’s making us all Very.  Cross.

  1. Palmeiras vs. Colo Colo – Copa Libertadores

Quarterfinal match in South America’s version of Champions League.   This is the second leg of their home-and-away.

Things are looking grim for the #16 seed, Chilean Colo Colo.   They’re all the way down in 6th in their league, losers of five straight matches over all competitions.  They lost 0-2 to Brazilian behemoths Palmeiras.  They’ve not lost in five straight, have taken over #1 in the continent’s best league.

The winner will get Brazilian Cruziero, or underdog (and up 2-0!) Argentinian Boca Juniors.   (8:45 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Palmeiras   2-0

  1. Kashima Antlers vs. Suwon Bluewings – AFC Champions League

So much CL, you’re going to have to inject it between your toes!

Asia’s version is into its Semifinal, and this is the first Kashima is your 2017 league runner-up from Japan, while Suwon finished 3rd in South Korea.  South Korea’s is the more highly-ranked league in the AFC, but Kashima would still be the favorite, even on a neutral pitch.

The winner will get either Persepolis out if Iran or Qatari club Al-Sadd.

RESULT:   Kashima   3-2       Suwon led 0-2 early

Image result for high on heroin funny

 

 

Replace “heroin” with “soccer”.   

You’re nodding.  I’m nodding.

  1. FCI Levadia vs. Nomme JK Kalju – Estonia Meistriliiga

#B against #1.  Double I’s in the league name.   Meistrliiga, you always bring the sweet relief.

Mr. Rogers once asked kids to do nothing for one minute, just watch the clock on the tv and see how long a minute was, what it felt like.   This is like that for Noob.   Let the high drama of hating Hotspur and all the Champions Leagues action come down a notch.

That’s a good stopping point for today.  Quality, if smaller domestic league match.  Noobites, see you tomorrow when we round out the Ten.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Manchester United vs. Valencia – UEFA Champions League

A reminder of where we are:

The “competition proper” is begun.  We’re seeing the Group Stage now.  Some teams qualified to enter only now, while others had to advance through tournament qualifying round/s.

There are eight groups of four clubs each.  Each club will play a double round robin, home and away matches with each other on in their pod.  Top two finishers move on to the bracketed Knockout Stage.  Third place clubs will get dropped down into a late round of the Europa League.  Last-place sad sacks have to rent halls and serve at table during fine catered dinners for the other three.

(All of that may not be true.  But if Noob ran UEFA…)

All the matches are “important” in this event, and there are eight today.  It’s the top club tournament in the world.  We’ll lean towards our cousins from England in coverage.  Hoffenheim from Germany and Manchester City are a dandy matchup today.  But this is the more interesting one for a particular reason.

Group H looks like a wicked-hard one.  Euros might even be calling it a “Group of Death”.  That seems unnecessarily dark, but ok.  They’ve played just one match each so far.  Man Utd blasted a Swiss club while Spain’s Valencia went down against the defending Italian league champs.

Based on their Elo ratings (Noob hearts footballdatabase.com), Man Utd should easily be a goal favorite at home.   But what makes this match intriguing is the drama going on with the Red Devils.  One of their stars – the Frenchman Pogba – and their manager – Mourinho – are at terrible odds.  The locker room is divided and the club is playing just .500 ball and sitting midtable in the Premier League.

Man Utd does.  Not.   Do.   Midtable.  They vie for titles.  They spend the money.  They finished #B in the EPL last season.  Pogba’s going to get a new team or the manager is going to be out soon.

Noob doesn’t even know what they’re fighting about.  My interest doesn’t run quite that deep.   It’s more fun to imagine the team ordered some sammiches in for a meeting and someone got someone else’s sammich but wouldn’t give it up.  Anyway, it’s perhaps THE story in English football, so our caring-needle is moved.   (3:00 PM EST, TNT)

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for pogba vs mourinho funny“You go over there and eat the turkey on rye you ordered!

I’m staying here with my corned beef.  You work for me!”

B.  Monterrey vs. Zapatec – Copa MX

A reminder of where we are:

Mexico’s leagues have two half-seasons annually – Apertura and Clausura.  We’re in the Apertura.  Concurrent with league play, they also run a Cup tournament during each half-season.  Only teams from the top two leagues compete.

The Group Stage is done.  We’re now seeing the Round of 16 in the bracketed Knockout Stage.  One-off matches, no home-and-away.

Part of the fun of Cups is watching for Minnows – underdogs, teams from leagues other than top-flite – to make deep runs.  Ascenso MX (D2) Juarez has already advanced to the Quarterfinals.  Tonight, we get to see if peers of their will join them.

Zacatepec are in 10th in the Ascenso.  That’s not even high enough to qualify for that league’s Ligilla (postseason)!   Yet here they are, facing mighty Liga MX’s Monterrey.   The only good news for Zaca is that Monterrey has been scuffling a tiny bit of late.  They’re just 1-1-2 in their last four matches.

But they’ve allowed no goals in their last two.  So it’s probably Monterrey by a couple on their own pitch today.   (8:00 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Monterrey   4-2

Image result for Letter B fish

 

 

Number B makes friends with a Tanzanian blobfish.  

Not into Minnows, eh?

  1. Al Ahly vs. ES Setif – CAF Champions League

They’ve reached the Semifinals in Africa!  Here, they play home-and-away series to see who advances.  The #1 team on the continent hosts the first leg today.   Any and everyone would and should favor them by a couple goals.

Why?

ES Setif are the defending Algerian champs.  It’s a strong league there, ranked 4th.  But Egypt’s is #1.  Setif had to enter the tournament earlier than Ahly, may be more tired.  Setif only finished 2nd in their Group to advance.  Ahly won theirs.

But ES Setif just knocked out the defending CAF CL champs last round.   Here we go.

RESULT:   Al Ahly   2-0

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Saturday (9/22) – NWSL championship leads the way!

So what IS Noob?  I am Noob.  This site is Noob.   Most importantly, Noob is of two main facets:

Bringing Noobites the ten most important matches to follow, from the perspective the (well, a) newish American fan of the global game.

Noob also fancies himself to be the Sunday comics section to the rest of the more mainstream, serious soccer sites out there.  Even if it’s closer to just old Farside than any other strips.

Now, feast on a kick-ass slate of matches today!

  1. Portland Thorns vs. North Carolina Courage – National Women’s Soccer League

American women’s soccer fans, the Final you deserve is here.   Regular season #B hosts #1!   Some places might have NC listed first as the top seed, but they’re playing it in Portland because of Florence.

Portland’s Lindsey Horen was just announced as league’s Player of the Year, having finished 3rd in scoring.  NC’s Lynn Williams was runner-up in that category.  Both also sport top-notch attacking passers.

Noob thinks the difference-maker for Portland will have to be secondary scorer Christine Sinclair.  Two goals with one being by her and the Thorns will hoist the trophy.   Otherwise, the one-loss superpower Courage win.   (4:30 PM EST, Lifetime)

RESULT:   Courage   0-3       Hail to the victors!    Jessica McDonald with a pair of scores.

B.  Atlanta United vs. Real Salt Lake – Major League Soccer

League-leaders in putting points on the board, Atlanta look to extend their four-point lead in the Eastern Conference.  Meanwhile, RSL lead the Noob in riling me UP.

Original owner Dave Ricketts decided when the club was formed to tie into a club that doesn’t suck (Real Madrid).  Never mind that Madrid get to be royal because of a king’s patronage.  Rickett’s is a JetBlue board member, which is anything but monarchal in the corporate world.

Oh yeah, and they’re 5th in the West.  It’s a good matchup.  But RSL needs to lose for Noob’s belief in an omni-benevolent god in the universe to be confirmed.   (7:00 PM, ESPN+)

RESULT:   ATL   2-0

Image result for Letter B holy

 

 

 

Number B – straightening Noob out on the whole omni-benevolent God-matter.

  1. Montreal Impact vs. NYCFC – Major League Soccer

Noob’s been writing of late that Montreal have been recently and surprisingly frisky.   Turns out, they made their big move in June and early July.   We live, we learn, Noobites.  They’re in 6th, and top eight will make the Playoffs.

NYCFC are somehow still in 3rd, despite not having won a match in five weeks.  They’re in no danger of dropping out of the playoffs this late in the regular season.  But it’s looking like they need some kind of shock to the system to get them moving back up toward a top-two seed.   That wold mean multiple postseason home matches.  (7:30 PM, ESPN+)

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Manchester United vs. Wolverhampton Wanderers – English Premier League

No two teams from the table’s top are battling today in the PL, but we do get a match with two teams in strange positions.

Man Utd. have won three in a row, though that only pulls them up into 8th place.  And those victories were over two bad league teams and an overmatched Swiss side in the Champions League.

Wolverhampton have also had three wins a row, also over weaker competition (two poor PL sides and a second-division team in the EFL Cup).  They didn’t allow a goal to any of them, either.

All considered, it’s about impossible to not consider the evergreen powerhouse that is Man U the favorites.  Wolverhampton have seen some early success after having been Promoted, but they have to score more than a single goal per match to keep it up.

RESULT:   1-1     Or maybe one per game can keep you afloat!   On a side note, Man Utd’s goal was scored by “Fred”.   Yup.  Just Fred.

Image result for wolverhampton wanderers funny

 

 

Feel about it how you will, Wolvers, Noob calls it as seen.

  1. Toluca vs. Necaxa – Liga MX

Another league dear to our hearts that isn’t featuring a 1-B matchup or anything close.  But we have what I have called a “Hiccup Watch”.

Toluca is 5th here in the Apertura (first half-season).  Top eight make the Playoffs.  By table position, Necaxa should be toast on the road.

Thing is, they haven’t lost to Toluca in many consecutive matches.  Noob’s not convinced Toluca an avoid having a Hiccup tonight.  Momentum, inertia – powerful forces.  (6:00 PM, ESPN Deportes)

RESULT:   Toluca   3-2

  1. Schalke 04 vs. Bayern Munich – Germany Bundesliga

Last year’s #B and #1 face off!  The exclamation point could be overkill in a way, though.

Schalke have lost all three of its matches to start the new league year.  More, none of those opponents were teams that finished anywhere near the top in 2017-18.  Noob’s not ready to call their 1-1 Champions League home draw against Portugal’s FC Porto a sign that everything is turned around now.

Bayern are 3-0-0, doing Bayern-y things to all.  (12:30 PM, FS2)

RESULT:   Bayern   0-2

Image result for Bayern Munich things

 

Ummmm…

Isn’t anything we do Bayern-y by definition? 

Can we do otherwise?

  1. Al Ahly vs. Horoya AC – CAF Champions League

Not long ago, Noob Tracked the first match of this two-legged Quarterfinal.   Africa’s greatest team went to Guinean Horoya and only got a 0-0 draw.  By ELO ratings, this is a team the Egyptians should utterly wreck, no matter whose pitch their playing on.

Still, now they get to take care of business at home.  Perhaps they won’t assume Horoya will just lay down for them this leg.

RESULT:   Al -Ahly    4-0    

  1. Pittsburgh Riverhounds vs. Indy Eleven – United Soccer League

Noob tends to shy away a little from second division leagues on weekends, even Amuricuh’s.   Just sooo much D1 football here and the world over.

But “an opening” was created when one of the teams in a Nadeshiko 1 match I’d pre-listed dropped too far in the standings to meet Noob’s exacting criteria.  Match 8 was going to be three-time defending champion NTV Beleza hosting Noob-fave Urawa Red Diamond Ladies.  Alas, Urawa has slipped to midtable.

RESULT:   Pitt   3-2

Image result for The Situation abs

 

I got the word, Noob!

Urawa’s #1 U.S. supporter and unofficial spokesman mascot is back once again.

<—  Where the sushi goes.

 

 

Sorry, The Situation.  I know you were excited.  Don’t worry, you’ll still get your appearance fee.

Image result for The Situation angry

 

 

I’d better!   I’m still waiting for them all from last season.

 

Check, er, checks are in the mail, The Situation.

Aaaaanyway, Pitt and Indy are 3rd and 5th-place in the USL Eastern Conference.  Top eight make the Playoffs.  Top four get home-pitch advantage to start out.

Riverhounds are the class of the entire league, defensively.  Thankfully, not just by taking the air out of the ball, they score more than a little.  Indy are more balanced, but seem like they’ve peaked in what they can achieve.  Their D is just mediocre.

  1. Coleraine vs. Linfield – Northern Ireland Football League Premier

It’s merely semi-pro ball, one of Europe’s lower-ranked leagues.  But Western Europe is always on Noob’s radar.  These are two perennial powers, #1 and #3 in the early season-table.  They’re also the only two who haven’t yet lost.

RESULT:   0-0     That’s one boring way to make sure you each stay undefeated.

# Honorable Mention:    At odds with Noob’s desire to keep things mostly D1 on weekends is my utter inability to stay away from shiny 1-B matchups.  So before we wrap up, Noob sends the hippest of shouts out (shout outs?) to Ross County and Inverness of Scotland’s second-tier Championship League, #B and #1 there.  Go fight win!

  1. Hiroshima vs. FC Tokyo – Japan J1 League

Hiroshima looked ready to run away with the league title not too far back.   And while they haven’t played poorly the last month, they’ve scuffled just enough to give hope to more traditionally great Kawasaki.  They’re better on both sides of the ball than #3 FCT.

But a loss – hardly unthinkable – and that Kawasaki group could pull to within a point of the league lead.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for hiroshima fun

 

So long from Hiroshima!   

Try to visit when you can catch the Flower Festival.

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Saturday (9/15) – the most footyball ever covered on Noob

“The ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game”.  Oh ho, Noob’s cheating today.

The list of the previews-proper are still ten   But we’re directly acknowledging three times as many Track-worthy matches today!

Gorge, Noobites.  Feeeast!!

  1. Portland Thorns vs. Seattle Reign – National Women’s Soccer League Playoffs

At last, the postseason!  These are the #B and #3 seeds of the four teams participating.

In their last match of the regular season, Portland beat Seattle to secure their runner-up status.  Their reward is getting to host today’s one-off.  There will be no return trip to Seattle.  The other two times they met in 2018, the matches were in Seattle, which won them both.

Portland is the more offensively-minded group by far, will look to push the pace hard.  The most likely names to see pairing up for scores are Lindsey Horan and Tobin Heath, second and first in league goals and assists, respectively.

For Seattle, their defensive player of the year Rebekah Scott will have her hands full.   She plays outside back, a position from which she can often feed their offensive threat, Megan Rapinoe.  Noob’s not sure she’ll be anything but pinned back on defense today though.   (3:00 PM EST, Lifetime)

RESULT:   Portland   2-1       Horan and Heath each scored.  

B.  FC Dallas vs. Columbus Crew – Major League Soccer

This is just one of three Track-worthy MLS matches on the day.  Noob’s highlighting this one for a couple reasons.

First – Dallas are still #1 in the Western Conference, having wrested the spot away from Kansas City midseason.  Surprising – their play has been incredibly spotty.  They just had a nice home win over rivals Houston last match, yet have lost twice to San Jose since August.  (The ‘Quakes can’t beat almost anyone else.  Ever.)  The offense and defense both come and go.

Second – how much longer will Noob get to type “Columbus Crew” without it being an historical reference?  Their ownership moving them to Austin is hardly a done deal, but it remains a likelihood.

As for their current season, they’re #4 in the East with plenty of table-space above and below.  They just got a big confidence boost taking down #3 NYCFC.  Noob wonders if they might night find today’s a trap game of sorts.    (8:00 PM, ESPN+)

Other MLS matches:   *Philadelphia Union vs. Montreal Impact – The East’s #5 and #6 fight to stay there, the conference’s final playoff spots;  *Vancouver Whitecaps vs. Seattle Sounders – the West’s #6 and #7, separated by one little point in the table.  Seattle have won eight straight.

Image result for bbb

 

Yes, Number B.  You got to feature three matches.

And so three of you.  Well-done.

  1. CF America vs. Monarcas Morelia – Liga MX

It warms the cockles of a Noob-heart to see Morelia struggling.   While I feel far more strongly anti-royalty with American-named clubs than Mexico, there’s still no kings and queens in N.A.  Foolishness!  Go, CFA!

Club America are in a four-way tie for 3rd place at nearly the halfway point here in the Apertura (first half-season).  They’re the strongest of them, too, in goal differential and INHO.  They’d been struggling a touch, but a trip to lowly Lobos BUAP was just what was needed last match (0-2 win).

Morelia hasn’t won in a month.  Their defense makes the sad.   (8:00 PM, Univision)

Other Mexican matches of note:   *Pumas UNAM vs. Tijuana  — in Liga MX Femenil, Pumas are #4 in their Group.  Top two from each will make the playoffs.  They’re in the mix, but the least of the best there.   Tijuana are in 6th;   Zacatecas vs. Atlante – second-division Ascenso MX #1 and #3.

RESULT:   CF America   2-1

Image result for soccernoob buap

 

 

Credit to Dan – the former Intern-o Inferno – for showing us just how lowly BUAP truly is.

  1. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur vs. Liverpool – English Premier League

Last year’s #3 and #4 face off.

Liverpool have won all four of their early matches this season, though the toughest team they’ve faced is probably Leicester (meh).   Hotspur thrashed Man Utd – on the road, no less – then turned right around and threw it away with a loss to Watford.  They’re both likely to be in the title chase for a while, contend for top-four finishes, Champions League berths.

Since it’s a new season, allow Noob to explain to less-tenured Noobites about the strikethrough.   Tottenham Hotspur is named for Harry “Hotspur” Percy.  He was an historic traitor, flipflopping multiple times with his loyalties.  He was a scalawag and ne’er-do-well and Noob will carry no truck with such!

Good thing that didn’t get weird at the end…   (7:30 AM, NBCSN)\

RESULT:   Liverpool   1-2

Image result for harry hotspur percy traitor

 

 

Shewsbury – the site of Percy’s death by arrow – is hallowed ground 

  1. 1 de Agosto vs. TP Mazembe – CAF Champions League

This is the first leg of a Quarterfinal tie.

Angola’s representative host first.   Their domestic league is on the rise, looks to jump from 17th to a top-10 spot in the African rankings next year.  TP Mazembe plays out of DR Congo’s top league, #3-best in Africa.  1dG would be doing well to get a draw at home.  To have a chance at advancing, they’ll have to.

Today’s other QF:   Esperance vs. Etoile du Sahel – Tunisia’s two best clubs face off.  They don’t keep them apart in the draws there I guess.  They’re both a lot better than the two featured teams above.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. FC Olexandria vs. Shakhtar Donetsk – Ukraine Premier

Ukraine’s top flight have climbed to #8 among domestic league in Europe.  Noobites should know something about this bunch.  We feature matches from their frequently.

And so, welcome to the Track, FCO!   Almost 100% sure this is the first time they’ve been featured.   They were mid-table all last season.  Seven matches into 2018-19, they’re #B.  But the current and historic #1 comes to town today to test their mettle.    Shakhtar average 2.5 goals a match, roughly.

Other top #1-#B UEFA matchups:  *Slovan Bratislava vs. Dunajska Streda — #1 hosts #B in what should be a shootout in Slovakia’s Super Liga;  Ferencvaros vs. Budapest Honved — #1 hosts #B in the Hungarian NB 1.  Honved will try and slow down the only team in the league averaging over two goals per match.

RESULT:   Donetsk   0-2

Image result for fc olexandria

 

 

 

No, FC Olexandria – Noob applauds YOU for being Track-worthy

  1. Stjarnan vs. Breioablik – Iceland FA Cup

Their league might not be even as highly-rated as the honorable mentions in Track match #6, but Noob’s always down for a Cup Final!

A question plaguing Noob is:  how much do these clubs care about the FA Cup?   It can be legitimately asked anywhere, at least by those of us who are truly noob.  Nowhere have I heard or read thy’re considered anything but a moderate to distant second in importance to the league title.

It’s especially relevant here, as Iceland’s Urvalsdeild league gets only one Champions League invite and these two are #B and #3.  Stjarnan, in fact, is just a point behind league-leaders Valur.  Will they play all starters in pursuit of this trophy, or save energy for the home stretch of their league season?

Today’s championship match is at the National Stadium in Reykjavik.  If they’re both playing full strength, Stjarnan have to be considered at last a 3:2 fave to win in regulation.

RESULT:   Stjarnan   0-0  /  4-1   pens

  1. Santa Gema vs. Independiente – Panama Football League

Noob’s been making a concerted effort here during the second year of this site to pay greater attention to all CONCACAF leagues.  And #1-#B matches shine like the sun.   This is one!

If the current pattern holds, this league is going to have one heckuva title race in 2018-19.   They’re just a few matches in, but good golly these teams end their matches in lots of draws!   Noob’s not sure if the league as a whole lacks offensive talent or if the general strategy employed there is defense.  Either way, they don’t see a ton of goals.

Saint Gema are the only undefeated team remaining, but have won just four of seven.  Independiente trail them by three points in the table.

RESULT:   Independiente    0-2       And we have a new #1!

The other #1-#B CONCACAF matchup:  *Fruta Conquerors vs. Guyana Defense Force – Guyana’s GFF Elite League – The Conquerors have an outrageous 48-5 GD.  Still, halfway through the season, they lead GDF by just five in the table.

Image result for pay attention soccer funny

 

Noob just said CONCACAF leagues are getting more attention here.  

Warning unwarranted.

  1. Kawasaki Frontale vs. Consadole Sapporo – Japan J1 League

The defending champs from Kawasaki are #B now, 2/3 of the way through the 2018 season.  Even so, they’re way off Hiroshima’s pace.

Sapporo were below mid-table last year, have improved mightily to be the current #4.  Last season, that would’ve been good enough to get them into the AFC Champions League.  Not this year.  Just the top three now.

Noob’s uncertain if the AFC is distributing more bids to lower-ranked countries’ leagues now, or if J1 League lost a slot due to a drop in confederation ranking.  Regardless, Sapporo need to play far better defense if they want to be in any postseason discussion.

RESULT:   Kawasaki   7-0    not a typo

Before we hit #10, Noob’s including some Honorable Mention matches.  Every one one of them involves two teams in the top quarter (or top three) of their leagues (at least as of five days ago), or there are specific playoff implications:

*USL – conference #2 Pittsburgh Riverhounds vs. #4 Louisville FC, plus #6 Swope Park Rangers vs. #9 Saint Louis FC;  Poland Ekstraklasa — Wisla Krakow vs. Lechia Gdansik was a #1 vs. #B when scouted a few days ago, but two teams which have played an extra match leapfrogged W.K.;  English Football Championship — #6 Bristol City and #3 Sheffield United would be in the second-divisions Promotion playoff tournament were the season over today.

Belgium First Division A — #B Genk vs. #3 Anderlecht;  Norway Eliteserien – #B FK Haugesund vs. #3 Brann;  Belarus Premier – #4 Shakhtyor Soligorsk vs. #3 Dinamo Minsk;  Slovenia Prva Liga — #B Aluminij vs. #3 Gorica;  Uruguay Primera – #B Nacional vs. #3 Montevideo Wanderers; two other Cup tournaments in early action include Portugal’s Taca de Liga and the Swiss FA Cup.

  1. Maldives vs. India – SAFF Championship

The Final!

Asia’s continental football confederation also has several sub-associations.  The South Asian Football Federation holds a Championship every other year.  It’s a standalone event for the current seven member nations, meaning it has no effect on qualifying for any other tournaments.

These are national teams that just aren’t going to see much of any success in most any other field of play.  Three of the seven are in the bottom ten in all Asia.  Two are the very bottom.  Our Finalists are the most-highly ranked in the world, just #150 and #96.  India would be even better, but.  You know.  Cricket.

RESULT:   Maldives   2-1    Upset city!

Image result for Dhaka weirdThey’ve been hosting this tournament Dhaka, Blangadesh.

Come back, Bear Grylls!

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Sunday (9/2) – MLS, Liga MX, more theme song work

The ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game.  A theme song is deserved.   Yesterday’s attempt was… well, let’s try again.

“Soccernoob rockin’ Amur-IH-cuh-huhuh /

Analysis!  *clap clap*/

Ten matches! *clap clapclap* /

Ordid Noobmiscooowwwwwnt?!  /  *crickets*

Soccernoob rockin’ Amur-IH-CUUUHHHHH!

  1. D.C. United vs. Atlanta United – Major League Soccer

Atlanta’s non-loss streak is up to seven, and yet New York Red Bulls have overtaken them for 1st place.  That they haven’t kept one clean sheet in their last six is mildly troubling, but mitigated by them scoring 2+ in them all.

Ever since Noob pointed out DCU’s unbeaten streak since playing all time English great Wayne Rooney, they’ve done nothing but lose.   It’s only two matches, but they were the only two in this period where they’ve faced really good competition.  It was a nice run up from the Eastern Conference basement to 8th, but the playoffs are looking unlikely now.

(Oh, and next D.C. travels to NYCFC.  Good luck with that.)   (7:30 PM EST, FS1)

RESULT:   D.C.   3-1     Rooney scored or assisted on every goal

Image result for Wayne Rooney annoyed

 

Got something to say to Noob, Rooney?

Go beat a Playoff-caliber team.

B.  Toluca vs. Santos – Liga MX

#10 hosts #4 in match Noob wouldn’t try picking if you threatened him with a whack-a-mole mallet.   (1:00 PM, Univision)

RESULT:   Toluca   2-1

Image result for Noobstradamus

 

I’ll make a prediction.  MY calling, after all, Noob.  Don’t make me come over there.

Noobstradamus divines  a win for Santos after their three consecutive draws.

  1. Trinidad and Tobago vs. Jamaica – CONCACAF women’s World Cup qualification

Reminder:  This is also the CONCACAF championships.  Two great footyball tastes tasting great together.  The top three finishers from this Caribbean Zone group of five advance to the “competition proper”, where the North American teams enter this event.

Jamaica is hosting all the matches and their national team leads the Group.  In fact, with just this fourth and final match to play in this stage, they’ve already qualified to advance.  T&T only need a draw to secure their own berth.  A loss and they leave the door open for Bermuda.

These two are FIFA-ranked #’s 50 and 71, respectively.  Jamaica has run roughshod over everyone so far.  T&T must keep the score low to hope for any kind of result.

RESULT:   Jamaica   1-4       Both teams advance to the next round

  1. Burnley vs. Manchester United – English Premier League

Last season, Man U had a fine enough season finishing #B, even as their intracity rivals at City were having a record one.

But right now they are a hot mess.  Starting the season with a home win over Leicester was expected.  A road loss to Brighton and Hove Albion was far less so.  Giving up three goals was a red flag.  Then getting crushed at home by Noob-reviled and traitorously named Tottenham  Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur 0-3 has to have them wondering if their new head coach is paying attention.

Burnley have stunk.  Who will right their ship?   0-0 draw anyone?   (11:00 AM, NBCSN)

RESULT:   Man Utd.   0-2

Image result for Sir Topham Hatt pissed off

 

 

Wow, just think how cross Sir Topham Hatt gets when Hotspur’s actually playing.

  1. Celtic vs. Rangers – Scottish Premiership

There are basically ever two named to know in Scotland – these.   #1 and #B last season.  It’s very early in this campaign, but they’re both just sitting midtable.  The issue for both has been middling defensive play.

RESULT:   Celtic   1-0

  1. Zenit St. Petersburg vs. Spartak Moscow – Russian Premier

Here in Europe’s 6th-ranked league, traditional powers are performing as they should.  Zenit are running people over, 5-0-0 with a 10-1 GD.  Spartak are tied for #B, have played one less game than peer Rostov.  Their offense is not Zenit’s, but the defense has been just as good.

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for Russian football funny

 

 

Is it too late for Noob to get 2018 World Cup souvenir Matryoshka dolls?

  1. Dinamo Zagreb vs. Rijeka – Croatia First Division

For al Croatia’s success in the World Cup, their domestic league is still trying to catch up a wee bit with the bigger boys.   At UEFA-ranking #16, they are the best league that still gets just one invitation to Champions League.

With one less match played than Osijek, D.Z. is still tied with them for #1.  Rijeka are also a match off and are just two points back in 3rd.  These two will overtake the table’s top, and sooner rather than later.    Dinamo sport the top D in the land, while Rijeka have the best balance.  (Osijek’s mediocre defense will catch up to them.)

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Hapoel Be’er Sheva vs. Maccabi Tel Aviv – Israel Premier

Last year’s #1 and #B face off here at beginning of Europe’s (well, UEFA’s) #18 league.  If little to nothing has changed, MTA will have a hard time scoring today.  Everyone had that trouble last year with HBS.

MTA were the second-best D, so this match may not see lots of goals.  But it’s a desperately important match, even this early in their season.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for geography wrong funny Israel

Hey, you let Israel play in UEFA and all bets are OFF.

  1. Ferencvaros vs. MOL Vidi – Hungary NB 1

Not that Hungarian football is on the radar of many (UEFA rank #36), but just in case:   MOL Vidi was Videoton last year.   Sponsorship change = name change.

These two finished 2017-18 #B and #1, and that is always on Noob’s radar!  Statistically they were nearly carbon copies of one another.  No other clubs threatened them.  They’re also both undefeated early this season.

RESULT:   2-2

  1. Nomme JK Kalju vs. Flora Tallinn – Estonia MeistrilIIga

The capital I’s in the league name are Noob’s own addition.  Just look at them.  A symmetrical, beautiful pair.  Perfection.

With ¾ of the season in the books, Kalju have a five-point lead in the table on today’s visitors.  The only other team in contention is FCI Levadia.   This match is the classic best offense versus best defense.  If Flora loses, that may mean the title is all but decided.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for pope john paul ii eyes

 

 

 

 

Pope John Paul II is down with the double i’s.

  1. Gyeongnam vs. Jeonbuk – South Korea K-League 1

What madness is this?  11??

Occasionally, it’s just too hard to pare down to ten.   Just look at the matches I had to cut:

Three USL matches (though none of highest import; AS Monaco vs. Marseille (last year’s Ligue 1 #B vs. #4); Alajuense vs. Saprissa (Costa Rica’s #1 and #3); Brondby vs. Midtjylland (Denmark’s #3 and #B); Siroki Brijeg vs. Zeljeznicar (Bosnia and Herzegovina’s #3 and #B); and two top-four matchups from Norway’s Eliteserien.

This is yet another #B versus #1 match.  Even though Jeonbuk have already sown up 1st place, such still gets Noob’s salivary glands watering.

Plus, The Management is in South Korea right now!  He flew into Incheon, which has the worst football club there this year.  I tried to tell him where the better footyball was being played, but does he listen to Noob?

RESULT:   Jeonbuk   0-3

Image result for eurwangni beach

 

 

So long from Erwangni Beach, Incheon, Korean Republic!

’10 to Track” for Globetrotting Friday (8/10) – NWSL, Liga MX’s, and 2018-19 English Premier! lead the way

Globetrotting Friday!   Passports ready?  Wunderbar.

Since league schedules the world over tend to run a little light, Noob spends Fridays jetsetting the world over with you, ogling soccer near and in far-flung hinterlands.

Strap in tightly, and don’t forget to please follow Noob on Twitter:  @SoccerNoobUSA.  Thanks for your consideration and readership!

  1. Chicago Red Stars vs. North Carolina Courage – National Women’s Soccer League

They’re about ¾ of the way through the regular season in America’s top pro women’s league.  The top four teams will make the Playoffs.

Chicago is in tied for 5th with Utah Royals and trail Portland Thorns by just a point.  They’ve played two fewer matches than both those teams, so Red Stars are looking okay.

In fact, only the Courage have beaten Chicago since May.  If they play there starters today, Noob would still favor they by a goal, even on the road.  NC has already won the Supporters’ Shield, being sooooo far out in front in the standings.

Fun Fact:   Progress, Towers, Union, Blues, 1871,and Wind were all considered as nicknames before Red Stars win in a landslide on a fan-ballot.

RESULT:   1-1

B.  New York Red Bulls II vs. Louisville City – United Soccer League

Defending league champs Louisville are in 4th place right now in the Eastern Conference.  That’s good for a home playoff match when the Playoffs come.  NYRB reserve team trail them by just a point though.  Red Bulls II lead the league in goal-scoring by a wide margin.  Can Louisville control the pace on the road?

RESULT:   Louisville   4-6      Cameron Lancaster with three goals for the winners

Image result for B is for bullshitNumber B!  We don’t run blue here.

But Noob does wonder what’s up with the dolphin.  And in a classroom but with a graduation cap on…

  1. Monarcas Morelia vs. Necaxa – Liga MX

“How does Noob decide which league matches are worthy of Track status early in that league’s season?”

Thanks for writing in, little Billy Connelly of Springfield.  Once all clubs in a league have played five matches, Noob looks at that season’s standings.  In non-North American leagues, both teams have to be in the top quarter (top three for the smallest ones) of the table to warrant Track-consideration.  Prior to that point, Noob uses the last complete season’s standings in that same way.

“Why won’t my mommy and daddy let me sleep with them in their bed every single night?”

Little Billy, as wise as Noob is, I am hesitant to answer questions of this nature.

But since you went to the trouble!   Your mom and dad are likely cooking up meth in there.  Are they stuffing the gap under the door with towels?  If so, sneak outside some night late and see if the windows are open.

“Thanks, Mr. Noob!”

I’m here to help.  Oh, and this football matchup features last Clausura’s (second half season’s) #8 and #11 teams.  Necaxa had a great goal differential, despite missing the Liguilla (postseason tournament), but had a mind-boggling ten draws in their 17 matches.  Gotta get W’s to play for the title.   (10:00 PM EST, Univision Deportes)

Fun Fact:  Noob is a rapscallion and ne’er-do-well, a cretinous yahoo on all accounts.

RESULT:   Morelia   2-1

  1. Queretaro vs. Santos Laguna – Liga MX Femenil

For claiming to be focused on soccer close to home, Noob didn’t give the Mexican’ top women’s league much coverage in the first year of this site.  Starting to change that.

All the men’s clubs but two field a top-flite women’s team.  These two finished 10th and tied for 7th in the aggregate table last year.  But the women’s side only sends four clubs each to the postseason, so both have lots of improvement to have done.

Querataro need to up the ante on their defensive efforts in particular.  They were woeful in that department during the 2017-18 Clausura.

RESULT:   Queretaro   3-1

Image result for foghorn leghornI say-I say-I say:    Queretaro are “the White Roostahs”.   Foghorn Leghorn is the official mascot.

 

(OK, that bit was half-true)

  1. Real España vs. Tauro – CONCACAF League

The Central American and Caribbean countries of our region have their own tournament to qualify a club for the next CONCACAF Champions League.  16 teams compete for a single berth.  This is the opening round of this Bracketed event where each pair of teams play two-legged ties.

Real España are the second entrant out of Honduras.  Tauro only qualified as one of the two wildcards out of Panama.  The latter won the first leg 1-0.  R.E. should be considered a full-goal favorite at home.  So, noob expects this one to come down to away-goals tiebreaker or penalty kicks.

The winner will play Walter Ferretti out of Nicaragua in the Quarterfinals.  That team at a surprisingly tough time getting past Martinique’s Clubs Franciscain, the fourth and final entrant out of the Caribbean qualifiers.

Fun Fact:   Real España are the only club to be named Real (“royal”) by a Spanish monarch  that is not from Spain

RESULT:   1-1     And so Tauro advances on 1-2 aggregate.

  1. Manchester United vs. Leicester City – English Premier League

In many ways, this is perhaps the most important match in the world today.  The greatest league in the world (pipe down, Bundesliga fans, Noob knows the argument is valid) begins its campaign today.  This is the best match of those kicking things off there today.

Man Utd. finished #B last year, distantly so to their intracity rivals Man City.  If they want to make a move on the title, it’s their offense that will need to have been kicked up a notch.  Or two.

The big question for today’s match is whether the teams’ World Cup players will play much or at all.  Players go on holiday rather than get right back into training with their clubs after WC.  Man United may have to press guys like Pogba and Lukaku into quick action, however, as they’re already somehow facing a rash of injuries to other projected starters.   (3:00 PM, NBCSN)

RESULT:   Man Utd.   2-1

Image result for newton heath

 

 

Fun Fact:  This was the founding year and crest of what is now Manchester United FC.

 

  1. Winslow United vs. Easington Sports – English FA Cup

This is the oldest recognized soccer tournament in the world.  Teams from all the way down to level 10 in Britain’s soccer pyramid can qualify to play.  This is the Extra Preliminary Round, the very first matches of the Qualifying Competition.  The “Competition Proper” won’t be considered to have begun for months, until all the professional clubs through Premier League have entered the fray.

These two have never played in FA Cup before.  Winslow United qualified out of the Spartan South Midlands Football League, level 10 in the pyramid.  Actually, they play in the First Division of that league.  The next step up in the pyramid (9) is the SSMFL’s Premier Division.  Last year, they finished 3rd of 20 teams, just missing promotion.

Easington Sports position in the English soccer world is the same.  They play in the Hellenic League, out of the First Division West, level 10.  A promotion would put them in that same league’s Premier.  Last year, they finished 3rd out of 14 clubs, also narrowly missing promotion.

The fun in FA Cups is largely considered watching out for Minnow – .underdogs from lower divisions that make runs into the Compeition Proper.  It’s unlikely one would come from this far down, so the point of Tracking them is largely just to let Noobites know that the event has even started.

Fun Fact:   To give some perspective, Winslow is a town of about 4,000.

RESULT:   1-1     In the event of a tie, the teams will have a Replay.  It will be at Easington.

  1. KI vs. HB – Faroe Islands Meistardieldin

And then lots of the fun of Globetrotting Friday is to visit places that simply don’t merit Tracking the rest of the week!

Faroe Islands’ top league just had a banner year, though even so they only climbed a notch in the UEFA domestic league rankings.  Now they’re 51st of 55.  But hey, they’re playing.

These are the only two clubs there in serious contention for the league title and country’s only Champions League berth.  KI lead by two in the table.  Statistically, these two are pretty much identical.  Very good offense, great defense.

RESULT:   HB   0-1

Image result for klaksvik faroe islands

 

 

Fun Fact:  Klaksvik – KI’s home town – is on one of the northernmost Faroe Islands.

  1. Samtredia vs. Sioni – Georgia Erovnuli Liga

Just a touch further up the European league rankings we find Georgia’s best, #46 on the continent (well, plus Eurasia).

These two teams don’t help the cause certainly.  They’re the weakest two (but hey, they’re playing!).  Kolkheti Poti is in last and in line currently for the league’s lone automatic Relegation only because they were deducted six points in the table.  Probably some sort of financial nawtiness.

Today’s featured combatants, should the remain in 8th and 9th-places, will be part of a four-team Relegation Playoff at season’s end.  They’ll battle with Liga II’s #B and #3 finishers for the right to play in the top league next season.

And Noob says “will” and not “would” because these two sad sacks aren’t going anywhere, waaaay down the table from the rest of the pack.

Fun Fact:   Noob wishes FC Samtredia would pick up the nickname “Fighting Mulberries”.  Their region produces many.

RESULT:   Sioni   0-4

  1. Posta Rangers vs. Gor Mahia – Kenya Premier

For 2018-19 CAF rankings, Kenya’s top league will move in at #22.  It’s not historically a very strong soccer country.

Gor Mahia haven’t mathematically wrapped up 1st place at the league’s only CL invitation, but they’re close.  2/3 of the way through the season or so here they lead the next-best by nine points in the table.  They ran away with the trophy last year, too.

Posta Rangers finished 4th, but currently are down in 10th place.  They weren’t great at scoring last season, and that weakness has seriously bitten them this year.

RESULT:   Gor Mahia   1-2

Image result for Nairobi funny

 

 

 

So long from Nairobi, home of Gor Mahia!

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – UEFA Champions League, Copa MX lead the way

The ten most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game.  This is Noob’s mission, our mantra, a recipe for learning successness.

America, Mexico, CONCACAF, Western and all of Europe, South America, and anywhere at all in the world.  This is Noob’s very general guideline for measuring that importance from out perspective.

(Matches are grouped in reverse chronological order by day.)

Thursday

  1. LAFC vs. L.A. Galaxy – Major League Soccer

As a famous Spanish derby is nicknamed “El Clasico”, so the City of Angels have decided their intracity rivalry is “El Trafico”.  This time around, we even get a match that actually matters in league terms!

Expansion-LAFC continue to impress.  They score the most in the Western Conference, league-wide are only surpassed by Atlanta United.  They trail FC Dallas by just four point for 1st place.

Only four more points and two slots in the standings we find the surging L.A. Galaxy.   They may actually be playing better offense than anyone now, including LAFC.  They haven’t been held scoreless in a league match in 14 straight matches.  They’ve won three in a row, and no one (outside U.S. Open Cup) has beaten them since May 30.

LAFC gets scoring from all manner of places nowadays, but there’s no denying that Zlatan is the catalyst.  He leads the team in scoring, despite not starting the year with them.  The one-time (perhaps) best player in the world and still comically-egomaniacal, talented Swede opens things up for everyone.  Midfielder Chris Pontius has seen particularly huge benefits – a name to continue to look for in the stat line if they are make a push to be a Playoff #1 seed.   (10:30 PM EST, ESPN)

RESULT:   2-2    LAFC blows a big lead at home, giving up goals in the 81′ and 86′.

Image result for dinosaurs playing soccer

 

 

Suggested reading.  Alternate title — “El Jurassico”.

  1. U.S.A. vs. Japan – Tournament of Nations

This event is an annual invitational with just four teams.  The matches are friendlies – no bearing on any other events.  they’re playing a round robin and that will be that.   But apart from being Amuricuh and our interest automatically being peaked, this match features the #1 and #6-ranked teams in the world.  Color me intrigued.  This is one’s in Kansas City.   (7:00 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   USA   4-2    Alex Morgan goes for three goals

Image result for America jingoism funny

 

 

Steven Colbert is ready for Muricuhn soccer, are you?

  1. Atletico Madrid vs. Arsenal – International Champions Cup

You know the story now for this event.  Pile of big European top clubs, glorified friendlies.   These two finished #B and a disappointing #6 in their respective leagues last season.

Noob’s intrigued to see this one on TV.  Singapore’s National Stadium just opened a few years ago.  The tiny nation is really pushing to upgrade the quality of their football.   (7:30 AM, ESPNU)

RESULT:   Atletico   1-1  /  3-1  pk

  1. Gremio vs. Sao Paulo – Brazil Serie A

Noob might not normally feature this match.  But #7 versus #B still really matters there.  And Gremio is really in a three-way tie for 5th, just happen to be down on goal differential.  As the top-rated league in South America, Brazil gets six teams into Copa Libertadores (think: Champions League).  Throw in that Gremio are the defending Libertadores champions and we’re in.

Sao Paulo didn’t even make that Copa last year, but they’ve won four in a row to climb within three of the league-leaders (Palmeiras).  Gremio continue to play small ball, and it’s hard to argue with last year’s 4th-place league finish and the continent’s top trophy in their case.  It will be fun to see if a traditional powerhouse can stem the momentum of their streaking hosts.   (6:30 PM, Premiere Futebol Clube)

RESULT:   Gremio   2-1     Come from behind win, two goals for player simply named “Everton”.

Image result for streaking Frank the Tank gif

 

So long from Noob, and a streaking Frank the Tank!

 

Wednesday

  1. Houston Dynamo vs. Philadelphia Union – Major League Soccer

Here we have two clubs scrapping for playoffs berths, which go to the top six in each of the two divisions.  So far, it’s not been working out.

Houston must’ve fallen even farther than Noob had realized.  They’ve actually not lost in five straight matches, yet are still in just 8th place in the West.  Over this stretch, they’ve been winning high and low-scoring games – good signs for a team that has disappointed compared to expectations to date.

#7 Philly just went down to surprising surging L.A. Galaxy in their own house.   Prior to that, though, they’d two consecutive wins!  A road upset wouldn’t move them into the East’s top six, but the Union would be knocking on the door.

A victory today would move the Dynamo in a playoff slot.  Veteran midfielder Romell Quioto from Honduras leads the team in assists.  His name has been popping up a lot in the stats sheet recently for those and his own goals.   Houston needs his play to stay elevated for their climb to continue.   (9:00 PM EST, ESPN+)

RESULT:   Philly   1-3     Houston scored first, but the Union tied before the half.  in H2, Dynamo lost a star player to a questionable straight red car and went down easily with just ten men for the remainder.

Philadelphia remains in 7th, Houston slips to 8th because of other match results.

  1. Veracruz vs. Dorados de Sinaloa – Copa MX

When Noob features league games, teams both from about the top quarter of a league meet the standard.    But when it comes to Cup/Copa tournaments – especially early I love to shine a light on Minnow.  These are underdogs from lower divisions, often in positions to maybe earn an upset.

The first of Mexico’s two season Copas is just beginning.  27 clubs from the top two divisions of football divided into Groups of three compete for 16 spots in the Knockout Round.   Veracruz finished very low in Liga MX standings during last season’s Clausura (second half-season.), averaging well under a goal per game.

Meanwhile, Sinaloa finished #B in the Ascenso.  They sported one of the best defenses at that level.  Noob’s not sure how many changes these clubs make in their shortened off-seasons, but if their makeups largely remained the same, Dorados could perhaps earn a draw here.   Any result is necessity for advancement, as neither of these clubs is going to beat Club America in this Group.

RESULT:   Dorados 1-2     Sinaloa with the upset after starting down 0-1.

Image result for Mexico funny

 

 

Noob truly hopes so.

I’ll bet those birds played futsal when they were little to learn that ball control.

  1. Celtic vs. Rosenborg – UEFA Champions League

Noob has perhaps a bad habit in re-explaining each event in each post in more details than is necessary for Noobites who read here regularly.  So, see match #1 in this Track for a few general details.

Once again, Noob’s selected a match to feature here out of many slated for today simply because this one involves the westernmost team in action.

Celtic are the super-dominant Scottish powerhouse perennially.  This hasn’t translated into tons of international tournament success.  But they destroyed an Armenian squad last round 6-0 in two matches and they carry a higher Elo rating (footballdatabase.com) than Norwegian champs Rosenborg.

Rosenborg’s one advantage today is that they are in form, halfway through their league season.  The Scottish Premier hasn’t started up yet.  Still, they’d be satisfied with a draw today and then taking their chances at home in the second match of this two-legged tie.

Their leagues are both middle of the road in the UEFA rankings.  The winner gets AEK Athens in the next round, which enter the competition at that stage.

RESULT:   Celtic   3-1

  1. AC Milan vs. Manchester United – International Champions Cup

Reminder:  ICC is a big pile of really good European clubs playing in the US and around the world playing friendly, warming up for their domestic leagues about to begin.  So it’s hard to handicap them, as any given club is as likely to be playing reserves as starters.

Still, they’re big names, and the games in the U.S. draw very well.  This one is at the Stub Hub Center in L.A. (Carson).  The teams finished #6 and #B in their leagues last year, respectively.   (11:00 PM, ESPN)

RESULT:   Man Utd   1-1  /  8-9  pk     Wait, why are they using penalty shootout in a non-knockout tournament?

Image result for big pile funny

 

Phil Hartman.  Not soccer-relevant.

Noob neither has no needs a reason.

 

Tuesday

  1. PAOK (Greece) vs. FC Basel (Switzerland) – UEFA Champions League

The best thing about PAOK playing outside Greece is that maybe their hooligan fans won’t be in so riled up and in such force.  Noob and The Management cheer for Basel.  Just because he saw their stadium once.   And they’re not Greek soccer hooligans.

This is the Second Qualifying Round.  The event-proper isn’t considered to be really starting until the Group Stage begins.  There are several matches from this tournament today.  Noob rather arbitrarily chose this one by virtue of it involving the westernmost club of the bunch.

These two qualified to enter at this round, did not have to play the First QR.  These and two other clubs entering here got in by finishing runners-up in their domestic leagues.  This is called the “League Path”, as opposed to the “Champions Path”.  Really doesn’t matter as far as Noob can see.

Their leagues are rated 16th and 12th, respectively, within UEFA.   Their Elo-ratings (footballdatabase.com) are pretty close as well.  This two-legged tie should be a very competitive one.  The winner will take on Standard Liege, Belgium’s FA Cup winner, in the Third QR.

RESULT:   PAOK   2-1

Image result for PAOK hooligans

 

News outlets probably just keep violent PAOK soccer supporter-footage a button-click away at all times.

B.  Zacatecas vs. Leon – Copa MX

Just as Mexico’s Liga and Ascenso MX seasons Apertura (first half-season) are beginning, so is their Apertura Copa tournament.  The Group Stage is nine pods of three clubs each.  The winners and the seven best runners-up will all advance to the Knockout Stage.

Noob’s chosen to feature this match out of several today because it looks like the best chance for an upset.  Leon finished just 13th in the 2017-18 regular season Clausura, being ghastly on defense.  Zacatecas won the second division Ascenso.

Zacatecas would’ve been Promoted to Liga MX for this year, but Noob heard Mexico’s FA changed the rules in some way so they couldn’t potentially see big-money Guadalajara get Relegated.  So no club’s moved between the two.  Noob thinks “The Miners” can get a draw today.

RESULT:   Zacatecas   4-3     Leon came on fast and furious with two late goals to make this a riveting match.

Image result for letter B in trouble

 

Not soccer-relevant, but we also quest to learn about Number B here.  

Funny how Number B’s belly gets pointed out, but Letter D’s big backside gets a pass.

 

Tuesday and Wednesday

Coming soon!

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Saturday (5/19) – MLS and more FA Cup finals action!

The ten most important matches for us- thew newish American fans of the global game – to follow.  Noob’s mantra.

But share with your experienced friends!  Noob’s coverage of leagues the world over might interest even the most seasoned fans.  Let’s dig in, Noobites.

  1. Portland Timbers vs. LAFC – MLS

Expansion LAFC haven’t lost in six straight matches.  Portland have one four in a row.  Something’s got to give!

They shouldn’t have trouble getting up for a home match against the #3 team in their conference, but 5th-place Portland are coming off a match with regional rival Seattle Sounders.  Much will hinge on the goalkeeping, and Timbers’ Jeff Attinella hasn’t conceded one in the three matches he’s played.   (3:00 PM Eastern, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Portland   2-1     Timbers climb to 3rd (though league matches are still pending at time of this update)

Image result for Jeff Attinella funny

B.  Seattle Reign vs. Chicago Red Stars – NWSL

#B hosts #4 in America’s top women’s league.  Seattle have scored seven in their last two games.  Look for the Reign’s Megan Rapinoe to continue her solid striking.

RESULT:   0-0

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Solid, striking Number B!

  1. Chelsea vs. Manchester United – English FA Cup

It’s the Final at Wembley!

Chelsea absolutely crapped the bed in their last league match, but presumably they can wake up with a trophy on the line.  And Manchester United only scored twice in their last three games.  Noob wouldn’t put money on this game even if sports gambling were already legal all across America.   (12:15 PM, Fox Deportes)

Noobstradamus Sees:   0-0, then Chelsea in PK’s!  They redeem themselves for a league 5th-place finish and missing out on the next Champions League.

RESULT:   Chelsea   0-1     So Chelsea win the league last year, the FA Cup this year, and word is they may well sack their manager.  Harsh.

  1. Bayern Munich vs. Eintracht Frankfurt – DFB Pokal (German FA Cup)

It’s the Final in Berlin!

Frankfurt faded down the stretch in the Bundesliga, finishing 8th.  Bayern did very Bayern-y things to everyone in winning the league title.  No reason to think they won’t crush today.  If Frankfurt keeps it within a goal, it will only be because Bayern has everyone fall back defensively after getting the lead.   (2:00 PM, ESPNEWS)

RESULT:   Frankfurt   1-3    Well, color Noob shocked!   Bayern dominated everywhere by the scoreboard.

And now Bayern’s manager retires and Frankfurt’s manager is his replacement.  Wild schtuff.

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The Frankfurt Hotel.

Your team has whatever beating it takes today coming.

  1. Celtic vs. Motherwell – Scotland FA Cup

Staying in the British Isles, it’s another Final!   While not on their actual home pitch, this one is held in Glasgow, Celtic’s home city.  However rough a time Frankfurt will have above, double it for Motherwell.  Celtic won the league again, while “The Steelmen” didn’t even crack the top half of the table.   (10:00 AM, GOL TV)

Noobstradamus Sees:   Celtic ‘however many they want’ – 0

RESULT:   Celtic   2-0

  1. Lyon vs. Nice – Ligue 1

These days, France only get three teams into Champions League, down from the max of four.  That’s bad news for either Lyon or Marseille.  #3 Lyon leads Marseille by just a point in the table.  They have the tougher matchup, hosting #6 Nice, who are fighting for a Europa League berth.  Marseille host #13 Amiens.

Lyon has oodles more offensive firepower than Nice, but all they need is a draw.  Look for this to go very low-scoring, probably that draw.   (3:00 PM, TV5MONDE)

RESULT:   Lyon   3-2    And so they hold off Marseille for 3rd place and the last Champions League berth.

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Disallowed!

  1. Goztepe vs. Galatasaray – Turkey Super Lig

Turkey’s top-flight title race remained as good as any in Europe, right through today!

Galatasaray lead two clubs by just three points.  More, they are currently only tied in tie-breaking goal differential with one of them (Fenerbahce).  So they could win today and still not finish 1st.  More, they’re not even guaranteed a top-two finish and CL slot.

Galatasaray also have the toughest matchup today of all contenders.  Their opponent is higher in the table than their rivals’ opponents today, and they’re on the road to boot.   (12:00 PM, beIN Sports)

Noobstradamus Sees:   A 3-1 win.  Goztepe is barely average, despite they’re reasonably good spot in the standings.

RESULT:   Galatasaray   0-1     All four top teams won on this, the last day of league play.  Congrats to the G’men- champions!  Fenerbahce claim Turkey’s second and final CL berth with a come-from-behind win as well today.

  1. Rijeka vs. Hajduk Split – Croatia First League

#B Rijeka could tie #1 Dinamo Zagreb on points in the table on today, the last day of league play.  But the tiebreaker is already won by D.Z. (and congrats to the champs!)  They lead #3 Split by just a point.  They’re both headed to Europa League, but whoever finishes higher will get to enter that competition one qualifying round further in.

RESULT:   Rijeka   3-1

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Come to Rijeka for the football.

Stay for a pie at Gvardijan Pizzeria.

  1. Maribor vs. Olimpija Ljubljana – Slovenia Prva Liga

Slovenia’s first tier might not be quite in the top half of UEFA leagues, but #1 vs. #B will never fail to win Noob over!  Three league matches to go, and Maribor lead O.L. by just a point.  And only one can go to Champions League.

Noobstradamus Sees:  …that while Ljub may not have lost a match since last December, they haven’t won that many, either.  Maribor have been doing almost nothing but winning for months.  Hosts win 2-1 today.

RESULT:   Ljub   3-1      We have a new #1 in Slovenia!   Come-from-behind win with the decisive goal scored at 90′.

  1. Dynamo Kyiv vs. Shakhtar Donetsk – Ukraine Premier

Congratulations to league champions Shakhtar Donetsk!  There will be nothing but pride on the line today, but Noob never ignores a #1 vs. #B matchup.  Kyiv qualify for Europa League for their season’s efforts.

RESULT:   D.K.   2-1

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So long from Kyiv!

(Isn’t the world just weird and magical?)