Tag: MLS

’10 to Track’ Globetrotting Friday soccer matches – from the US of A to sporting hinterlands the world over!

Fridays tend to run a little light for soccer scheduling the world over, so this our opportunity to explore the footyball world!  As always, Noob starts off at and close to home.  Then, we check our bags tarmac-side and jetset off to locations the world over!   Let’s expand our horizons, Noobites.

  1. Ottawa Fury vs. Tampa Bay Rowdies – United Soccer League

Major League Soccer isn’t back post-All-Star break until tomorrow, so today we have just a pair of division two matches in the homeland.  This one is a bit heavier in playoff implications.

The top eight in each conference will make the postseason.  These two are tied for 9th and tied for 11th, respectively.  Noob’s particularly intrigued for two reasons:  1) Based on goal differential, these two ought to be switched places in the table.  B)  They’re two of the clubs from North American Soccer League.  The one-time co-second division league cancelled it’s 2018 season after not getting DII sanctioning from USSF, and currently is targeting a 2020 return to action.

Fun Fact:   When their current stadium was behind in completion, Ottawa competed at Carleton College.

RESULT:   Ottawa   2-0     The Fury climb into a tie for 7th

B.  Atlas vs. UNAM Pumas – Liga MX

After finishing 8th and making the postseason Liguilla in the 2017-18 Apertura (first half-season), they sunk to 15th and sported the worst defense in the league in the Clausura.

UNAM went completely the other direction, going from last place to 7th by improving their offense a ton.  They’ve won their first to matches of 2018-19, too.   (10:00 PM EST, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Pumas   0-3     Atlas was down to ten men after a red card 20′ in

Image result for letter B fox

 

 

Number B knows Atlas are “The Foxes”.

And that Number Two must go down HARD.

  1. Waterford vs. Cork City – League of Ireland Premier

Eire’s is a two-horse race and has been for some time.  Cork trail Dundalk by just a point in the table as they hit the home stretch of their season.  They can’t afford a slip before playing the league leaders later this month, and this is the most like match where that could happen.

Waterford had a great run the first half of the season, but have fallen back to a distant 3rd.  Two clubs will get Europa League berths, though.  The Irish Blues are in line for one now, but Noob thinks Shamrock Rovers will overtake them.

Fun Fact:  Waterford the crystal-making company makes the NCAA college football trophy.

RESULT:   1-2   Cork     Waterford scores first, but Cork triumphs.  

  1. Reading vs. Derby County – EFL Championship

If these teams are of the same relative strengths as last season, this may not be a “big” match.   But England’s second division league is probably in the top 15 in Europe in strength.  And Derby Co. finished 6th last season, making the Promotion Playoffs.  Meanwhile, reading finished 20th, not far above the Relegation line.

This is the first league match of the season.  Welcome back, British footyball!

RESULT:   Derby Co.   1-2      Derby Co with the winner in the 90′

Image result for huntley and palmers

 

 

Fun Fact:  This company was originally based in Reading, and so the football team were known as “The Biscuit Men”.

 

  1. Hamburger SV vs. Holstein Kiel – 2. Bundesliga

Germany’s second-tier kicks off today as well.  Hamburger was demoted last season from the top league, while H.K. made the Promotion Playoffs before losing at the end and having to stay down.  Holstein led this league in offense last year, scoring over 70 goals.

Fun – Unless You’re an HSV Supporter – Fact:   This marks the first time HSV has played anywhere but the top Bundesliga.  There was rioting and stuff.

RESULT:   Holstein Kiel   0-3

  1. Dynamo Kyiv vs. Shakhtar Donetsk – Ukraine Premier

Last year’s #B and #1 faced off in the domestic Super Cup just days ago.  Kyiv won that glorified friendly, but now things are for real as league plays begins.  A little more offense and Kyiv could’ve perhaps taken the title last year.

Since this – the 8th-ranked league in Europe – gets two Champions League berths, one might think it doesn’t matter which one wins.  It matters.  They want hardware.

RESULT:   Dynamo   1-0

Image result for Spartak Moscow Dinamo Kyiv

 

 

Fun Fact:  During the Soviet era, Dinamo Kyiv (not another Moscow team) was Spartak Moscow’s greatest rival.

  1. Huracan vs. Atletico Tucuman – Copa Argentina

This is a Round of 32 match in Argentina’s knockout-formatted FA tournament.

These two finished last year’s Primera league season #4 and #15.  Their offensive and defensive numbers were very similar, though, so this should be an exquisite matchup.  The winner will get either fellow top-leaguers Newell’s Old Boys or a third division team in the next round.

Stinky Fact:  One of Huracan’s nicknames is “The Burners”, since the current stadium is built on a former garbage-burning site.

RESULT:   Tucuman   0-2

  1. Troyes vs. Brest –France Ligue 2

Back to Europe!  Troyes was kicked out of the French top flite after finishing second-to-last.  Brest finished 5th in this league, getting to play in the Promotion playoff.  The two teams that were Promoted were light years better on offense then everyone else, but Brest excelled to a degree in that regard as well.

RESULT:   Brest   0-2

Image result for lacoste logo

 

 

Fun Fact:   The city of Troyes is home to the Lacoste clothing and fashionwear company.

  1. Floridsdorfer vs. Kapfenberger – Austrian 2. Bundesliga

The other white schnitzel – Austria’s Bundesligas. OK, maybe that doesn’t make sense.  Noob acknowledges it before The Management interrupts to call me out.

This league has been expanded from 10 to 16 teams this season.  As the season begins today, this is the one matchup involving two teams that were both in this league last season.  They finished 8th and 9th.  Floridsdorfer may really have been the worst team in the league, statistically, but no one got Relegated, so oh well!

Fun Fact:   Floridsdorfer is the northernmost district of Vienna.   it is a comparatively rural area, being composed of previously unconnected villages.

RESULT:   Kapfenberger    0-2

  1. Dinamo Tbilisi vs. Rustavi – Georgia Erovnuli Liga

We finish today’s Track in Georgia’s best league, though it ranks just 46 of 55 in UEFA.   It’s what Friday’s are for!

As one might expect, only the winner will get an invitation to Champions League (and just the First Qualifying Round at that).  Dinamo is #B, just five points out of 1st just over halfway through the season.  Saburtalo Tbilisi aren’t any better on GD, so this should be a dandy of a second half race.

RESULT:   Dinamo   1-0

Image result for tbilisi georgia

 

So long from Tbilisi, Georgia! 

The Bridge of Peace connects the old and new city districts.

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – ICC, Copa MX, UEFA Champions League lead the way

Noob’s on vacation in Howey-in-the-Hills, Florida.  Noobites will want to scroll back a Track or two to get extra details on some tournaments and leagues.

Otherwise, it’s keep calm and carry on with the footyball mini-previews!

Tuesday

  1. Barcelona vs. AS Roma – International Champions Cup

Roma got clocked by Arsenal in their first ICC match.  Barcelona beat Tottenham  Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur in penalties after regulation went 2-2.   Smart money would therefore be on Barcelona to come out on top today in Arlington, though smarter money would stay un-wagered to begin with.  ICC is just glorified friendlies, after all.

RESULT:   Roma   2-4

B.  Tapachula vs. Atletico de San Luis – Copa MX

When it comes to FA Cups, Noob’s always on the lookout for Minnow, underdogs.  Both these clubs are from Mexico’s second-tier league – Ascenso MX.

Tapachula finished 8th in the last Clausura (second half-season) standings, only qualifying for the Liguilla (postseason tournament) by virtue of beating out the 9th-place team deep on tiebreakers.  Yet on they went to win it!

San Luis finished just 10th, struggling on offense.  This will be a particularly interesting matchup because Tapachula excels on offense only.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for letter b animated gif

 

Here’s a dolphin and Number B excelling at their own sport.

  1. FC Sheriff Tiraspol vs. FK Shkendija – UEFA Champions League

This is the Second Qualifying Round – still a ways to go before the Group Stage, where purists say the event proper really begins.

These two were last season’s champions from the 38th and 34th-ranked leagues in UEFA.  Shkendija – out of Macedonia – won the first match of this two-legged tie 1-0.  Either they or the Moldovan domestic league champions will advance to the Third Q.R. to play Red Bull Salzburg out of Austria.

RESULT:   0-0    And so Shkendija advances on aggregate

Wednesday

  1. Arsenal vs. Chelsea – International Champions Cup

Premier League is just a couple weeks from kicking off, and here we get something of a preview.

These are two clubs that had disappointing league seasons last year.  In this event, Arsenal have lost in penalties to Barcelona and destroyed Paris Saint-Germain.  Chelsea have played just one of their three matches, losing in penalties to Inter Milan.  Today’s match is in Dublin.   (3:00 PM, ESPN2)

RESULT:   Arsenal   1-1  /  6-5 pk

Image result for England vs ireland funny

 

 

 

Not soccer-related.

Noob neither has nor needs a reason.

  1. Orange County vs. Portland Timbers II – United Soccer League

With MLS on All-Star break, we shift our gaze to America’s second division.

There’s a widening gap in the Western Conference between the top five and the rest of the pack.  Orange County are in a three-way tie for 3rd, while Portland are one of the best of the rest in 6th.  Top eight will make the Playoffs.

It’s Timbers II’s defense that keeps them from breaking into the upper echelon.   Noob thinks they’ll make the playoffs, but as the bottom seed, not 6th.

RESULT:   2-2

  1. Midtjylland vs. Astana – UEFA Champions League

The Second Qualifying Round rolls along.  Noob’s selected this one to feature for the competitiveness.

Denmark’s second-best club is probably just an even match on their own pitch against Kazakhstan’s top club.  Astana won the first match in tie two-legged tie 2-1.  The winner will next face Dinamo Zagreb, Croatia’s top entrant.

RESULT:   0-0     Onward and upward for Astana

Image result for Denmark weird

 

 

Denmark – where you can sleep in a giant beer can.

  1. Akwa United vs. Lobi Stars – Nigeria Pro League

Hello, Nigerian Pro League, it’s been a while!  Have you lost a little weight?  You look sensational.

This league has been ranked #12 in Africa, the lowest spot that still allows the club to qualify two clubs to the CAF Champions League.  The rankings for next year’s competitions have already come out and Nigeria will have fallen a little.

So this year so far, these are the two clubs in line for CL berths, #1 and #B in the table.  But the table is tight at the top.  The teams tied for 3rd are just three points out of Bth , and two more are just a point below them.  Noob thinks Kano Pillars may be the best team in the league, will jump one of these two if they quit getting so darn many draws.

RESULT:     ppd

8.  Zapatepec vs. Cruz Azul – Copa MX

Last Clausura, Zapatepec finished fourth in Ascenso MX.  Trouble on both sides of the ball, yet perhaps their success is of guts and grit.  Cruz Azul finished in 12th in Liga MX.

Noobstradamus hasn’t been divining a great deal of late, and so his vision was a bit cloudy.  Look a for at least a tie and perhaps even a full-on upset by the home side.

RESULT:   Cruz Azul   2-3

Image result for noobstradamus

 

 

Cloudy?  I never used that word.  I am the all-seeing Noobstradamus!

(Maybe I said “murky…”)

 

Thursday

  1. U.S.A. vs. Brazil – Tournament of Nations

This four-team event has it’s third and final pair of matches in the round robin today, this time taking their tour to Chicagoland.  The standings don’t matter, as this is a stand-alone set of friendlies.  But they’ve carried a little more weight than some (I.C.C.) since these are something of a tuneup for the 2019 women’s World Cup.

U.S.A. and Australia are in a dead heat for 1st, Brazil just a point behind them.  Aus could sneak in and take home the trophy today, as they have 0-2 Japan today.

RESULT:   U.S.A.   4-1

  1. Ah Ahly vs. Ismaily – Egyptian Premier League

Al Ahly absolutely wrecked this league last year, and this is the best league on the continent by far.  Lots of teams in the world carry the name “Ahly”, but this is the one to know.  Ismaily finished a distant #B in 2017-18.  This is the first match of the new season for both.

RESULT:   1-1     Mo Sherif got a goal for the hosts at 90′ to salvage a draw.

Image result for cairo hidden gems

 

 

 

So long from Cairo, where Noob will be hitting the Khan Al Kahili Bazaar after the match.

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – UEFA Champions League, Copa MX lead the way

The ten most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game.  This is Noob’s mission, our mantra, a recipe for learning successness.

America, Mexico, CONCACAF, Western and all of Europe, South America, and anywhere at all in the world.  This is Noob’s very general guideline for measuring that importance from out perspective.

(Matches are grouped in reverse chronological order by day.)

Thursday

  1. LAFC vs. L.A. Galaxy – Major League Soccer

As a famous Spanish derby is nicknamed “El Clasico”, so the City of Angels have decided their intracity rivalry is “El Trafico”.  This time around, we even get a match that actually matters in league terms!

Expansion-LAFC continue to impress.  They score the most in the Western Conference, league-wide are only surpassed by Atlanta United.  They trail FC Dallas by just four point for 1st place.

Only four more points and two slots in the standings we find the surging L.A. Galaxy.   They may actually be playing better offense than anyone now, including LAFC.  They haven’t been held scoreless in a league match in 14 straight matches.  They’ve won three in a row, and no one (outside U.S. Open Cup) has beaten them since May 30.

LAFC gets scoring from all manner of places nowadays, but there’s no denying that Zlatan is the catalyst.  He leads the team in scoring, despite not starting the year with them.  The one-time (perhaps) best player in the world and still comically-egomaniacal, talented Swede opens things up for everyone.  Midfielder Chris Pontius has seen particularly huge benefits – a name to continue to look for in the stat line if they are make a push to be a Playoff #1 seed.   (10:30 PM EST, ESPN)

RESULT:   2-2    LAFC blows a big lead at home, giving up goals in the 81′ and 86′.

Image result for dinosaurs playing soccer

 

 

Suggested reading.  Alternate title — “El Jurassico”.

  1. U.S.A. vs. Japan – Tournament of Nations

This event is an annual invitational with just four teams.  The matches are friendlies – no bearing on any other events.  they’re playing a round robin and that will be that.   But apart from being Amuricuh and our interest automatically being peaked, this match features the #1 and #6-ranked teams in the world.  Color me intrigued.  This is one’s in Kansas City.   (7:00 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   USA   4-2    Alex Morgan goes for three goals

Image result for America jingoism funny

 

 

Steven Colbert is ready for Muricuhn soccer, are you?

  1. Atletico Madrid vs. Arsenal – International Champions Cup

You know the story now for this event.  Pile of big European top clubs, glorified friendlies.   These two finished #B and a disappointing #6 in their respective leagues last season.

Noob’s intrigued to see this one on TV.  Singapore’s National Stadium just opened a few years ago.  The tiny nation is really pushing to upgrade the quality of their football.   (7:30 AM, ESPNU)

RESULT:   Atletico   1-1  /  3-1  pk

  1. Gremio vs. Sao Paulo – Brazil Serie A

Noob might not normally feature this match.  But #7 versus #B still really matters there.  And Gremio is really in a three-way tie for 5th, just happen to be down on goal differential.  As the top-rated league in South America, Brazil gets six teams into Copa Libertadores (think: Champions League).  Throw in that Gremio are the defending Libertadores champions and we’re in.

Sao Paulo didn’t even make that Copa last year, but they’ve won four in a row to climb within three of the league-leaders (Palmeiras).  Gremio continue to play small ball, and it’s hard to argue with last year’s 4th-place league finish and the continent’s top trophy in their case.  It will be fun to see if a traditional powerhouse can stem the momentum of their streaking hosts.   (6:30 PM, Premiere Futebol Clube)

RESULT:   Gremio   2-1     Come from behind win, two goals for player simply named “Everton”.

Image result for streaking Frank the Tank gif

 

So long from Noob, and a streaking Frank the Tank!

 

Wednesday

  1. Houston Dynamo vs. Philadelphia Union – Major League Soccer

Here we have two clubs scrapping for playoffs berths, which go to the top six in each of the two divisions.  So far, it’s not been working out.

Houston must’ve fallen even farther than Noob had realized.  They’ve actually not lost in five straight matches, yet are still in just 8th place in the West.  Over this stretch, they’ve been winning high and low-scoring games – good signs for a team that has disappointed compared to expectations to date.

#7 Philly just went down to surprising surging L.A. Galaxy in their own house.   Prior to that, though, they’d two consecutive wins!  A road upset wouldn’t move them into the East’s top six, but the Union would be knocking on the door.

A victory today would move the Dynamo in a playoff slot.  Veteran midfielder Romell Quioto from Honduras leads the team in assists.  His name has been popping up a lot in the stats sheet recently for those and his own goals.   Houston needs his play to stay elevated for their climb to continue.   (9:00 PM EST, ESPN+)

RESULT:   Philly   1-3     Houston scored first, but the Union tied before the half.  in H2, Dynamo lost a star player to a questionable straight red car and went down easily with just ten men for the remainder.

Philadelphia remains in 7th, Houston slips to 8th because of other match results.

  1. Veracruz vs. Dorados de Sinaloa – Copa MX

When Noob features league games, teams both from about the top quarter of a league meet the standard.    But when it comes to Cup/Copa tournaments – especially early I love to shine a light on Minnow.  These are underdogs from lower divisions, often in positions to maybe earn an upset.

The first of Mexico’s two season Copas is just beginning.  27 clubs from the top two divisions of football divided into Groups of three compete for 16 spots in the Knockout Round.   Veracruz finished very low in Liga MX standings during last season’s Clausura (second half-season.), averaging well under a goal per game.

Meanwhile, Sinaloa finished #B in the Ascenso.  They sported one of the best defenses at that level.  Noob’s not sure how many changes these clubs make in their shortened off-seasons, but if their makeups largely remained the same, Dorados could perhaps earn a draw here.   Any result is necessity for advancement, as neither of these clubs is going to beat Club America in this Group.

RESULT:   Dorados 1-2     Sinaloa with the upset after starting down 0-1.

Image result for Mexico funny

 

 

Noob truly hopes so.

I’ll bet those birds played futsal when they were little to learn that ball control.

  1. Celtic vs. Rosenborg – UEFA Champions League

Noob has perhaps a bad habit in re-explaining each event in each post in more details than is necessary for Noobites who read here regularly.  So, see match #1 in this Track for a few general details.

Once again, Noob’s selected a match to feature here out of many slated for today simply because this one involves the westernmost team in action.

Celtic are the super-dominant Scottish powerhouse perennially.  This hasn’t translated into tons of international tournament success.  But they destroyed an Armenian squad last round 6-0 in two matches and they carry a higher Elo rating (footballdatabase.com) than Norwegian champs Rosenborg.

Rosenborg’s one advantage today is that they are in form, halfway through their league season.  The Scottish Premier hasn’t started up yet.  Still, they’d be satisfied with a draw today and then taking their chances at home in the second match of this two-legged tie.

Their leagues are both middle of the road in the UEFA rankings.  The winner gets AEK Athens in the next round, which enter the competition at that stage.

RESULT:   Celtic   3-1

  1. AC Milan vs. Manchester United – International Champions Cup

Reminder:  ICC is a big pile of really good European clubs playing in the US and around the world playing friendly, warming up for their domestic leagues about to begin.  So it’s hard to handicap them, as any given club is as likely to be playing reserves as starters.

Still, they’re big names, and the games in the U.S. draw very well.  This one is at the Stub Hub Center in L.A. (Carson).  The teams finished #6 and #B in their leagues last year, respectively.   (11:00 PM, ESPN)

RESULT:   Man Utd   1-1  /  8-9  pk     Wait, why are they using penalty shootout in a non-knockout tournament?

Image result for big pile funny

 

Phil Hartman.  Not soccer-relevant.

Noob neither has no needs a reason.

 

Tuesday

  1. PAOK (Greece) vs. FC Basel (Switzerland) – UEFA Champions League

The best thing about PAOK playing outside Greece is that maybe their hooligan fans won’t be in so riled up and in such force.  Noob and The Management cheer for Basel.  Just because he saw their stadium once.   And they’re not Greek soccer hooligans.

This is the Second Qualifying Round.  The event-proper isn’t considered to be really starting until the Group Stage begins.  There are several matches from this tournament today.  Noob rather arbitrarily chose this one by virtue of it involving the westernmost club of the bunch.

These two qualified to enter at this round, did not have to play the First QR.  These and two other clubs entering here got in by finishing runners-up in their domestic leagues.  This is called the “League Path”, as opposed to the “Champions Path”.  Really doesn’t matter as far as Noob can see.

Their leagues are rated 16th and 12th, respectively, within UEFA.   Their Elo-ratings (footballdatabase.com) are pretty close as well.  This two-legged tie should be a very competitive one.  The winner will take on Standard Liege, Belgium’s FA Cup winner, in the Third QR.

RESULT:   PAOK   2-1

Image result for PAOK hooligans

 

News outlets probably just keep violent PAOK soccer supporter-footage a button-click away at all times.

B.  Zacatecas vs. Leon – Copa MX

Just as Mexico’s Liga and Ascenso MX seasons Apertura (first half-season) are beginning, so is their Apertura Copa tournament.  The Group Stage is nine pods of three clubs each.  The winners and the seven best runners-up will all advance to the Knockout Stage.

Noob’s chosen to feature this match out of several today because it looks like the best chance for an upset.  Leon finished just 13th in the 2017-18 regular season Clausura, being ghastly on defense.  Zacatecas won the second division Ascenso.

Zacatecas would’ve been Promoted to Liga MX for this year, but Noob heard Mexico’s FA changed the rules in some way so they couldn’t potentially see big-money Guadalajara get Relegated.  So no club’s moved between the two.  Noob thinks “The Miners” can get a draw today.

RESULT:   Zacatecas   4-3     Leon came on fast and furious with two late goals to make this a riveting match.

Image result for letter B in trouble

 

Not soccer-relevant, but we also quest to learn about Number B here.  

Funny how Number B’s belly gets pointed out, but Letter D’s big backside gets a pass.

 

Tuesday and Wednesday

Coming soon!

’10 to Track’ Weekend Edition soccer matches – World Cup extra, MLS, NWSL lead the way

As World Cup approaches its climactic end, Noob knows soccer will fade a bit from America’s collective conscience.

Keep visiting here.  Keep learning with Noob.  I’ll keep previewing the ten most important  matches to follow for us – the newish fans of the global game.

And it won’t get weird.  And Noob’s a fibber.

  1. Belgium vs. England – FIFA World Cup

Noob.  Nooby!   Didn’t these teams just lose?

Yes.  And did you just go Harry Ellis on me?  Well-played, pretend writer-in/voice in Noob’s head.  You’re my white knight.

Aaaaanyway, this is the Bronze Match.  If you’ve been reading Tracks, you know the names:  de Bruyne, Kane.

The NCAA used to make the last non-finalists play this kind of crappy game.  They just lost.  This is once every four years.  A lot of the players won’t ever get that sort of chance again.  Let them go home.

Yay, footyball!

RESULT:   Belgium    2-0

B.  New York Red Bulls vs. Sporting Kansas City – Major League Soccer

Kansas City had been leading the Western Conference for forever.  But a couple of road loses (Real Salt Lake: ok, Montreal: really?) and a home draw against tuckered out-Toronto and they’ve slipped to 3rd.  Their defense s letting them down, something that never happened in last season’s strong campaign.

3rd-place Red Bulls are coming off a “road” loss to fellow East contender NYCFC.  They have regional rival New England Revolution up next.  Still, Noob doesn’t see this as a trap game.  They’ve only conceded four goals in their last six matches.

To appease the Management – with his K.C. ties – Tim Melia needs to step his goalkeeping back up.  The back line has been okayish.  He has not.

(NYCFC hosting Columbus is just as big today.)

RESULT:   NYRB   3-2

Image result for tim melia sporting kc

 

 

 

Tim Melia tries to defend Zlatan with the trip over me comically-technique.

 

  1. Chicago Red Stars vs. Seattle Reign – National Women’s Soccer League

“Dear Lord in heaven, hear our cries!  Please let us remain #B/climb to 3rd in the standings so we don’t have to get decimated by North Carolina in the first round of the Playoffs.  We submit ourselves to Your will.  What do you require of us, Most Holy?”

Chicago is tied for 3rd.  Seattle is #B.

RESULT:   Chicago   1-0

  1. Legia Warsaw vs. Arka Gydnia – Poland Super Cup

It’s Sooooooper Cup season!

These are nearly always matchups between the previous league season’s champion and the defending FA Cup titlists.  They are typically one-offs.  Sometimes at neutral sites, sometimes not.  They are glorified exhibitions to whet folks’ appetites for the imminent starts of the new league seasons.

Legia Warsaw finished 3rd in the first part of the 2017-18 regular season before making off with 1st place once the Championship Round began.  They also just beat Cork City (Ireland) in the UEFA Champions League, 0-1.  They host today’s match.

Arka Gydnia narrowly missed out on qualifying for that Champions Round, 7th place.  After that, they sank, though not quite far enough to get Relegated to the second division.

RESULT:   Gdynia   2-3

Image result for that's super meme

 

 

Noob ever has a club of his own, they’re “The Ligers”.

  1. CFR Cluj vs. CS Universitatea Craiova – Romania Super Cup

Cluj won the truly regular league season and then held on in the Championship Round to take the title.  Craiova are the defending FA Cup holders.  They finished 3rd in the league.   Craiova get to host today.

RESULT:   Cluj   1-0

  1. Albirex Niigata vs. Tampines Rovers – Singapore S.League

Noob is always down for #1 versus #B!  Not that Rovers are a threat to chase down the title.  The Japanese club reserve team is 15-0-0.  But as a reserve team, they’re not eligible for international competition like AFC Champions league.  That means #B is the slot that could qualify.

Rovers lead Home United by just a point in the table.  If they have any shot at a result today, it has to be on defense.  They sport the league’s second-best.

RESULT:   Niigata   2-1

Image result for second place is best

 

Fortnite’s popular with the hip kids. 

Noob’s not above throwing it in here.

 

Sunday

  1. France vs. Croatia – FIFA World Cup

The Final!  Luzhniki Stadium, Moscow.

France is ranked #7 in the world, Croatia #20.  if the latter win, they will be the second-smallest country to ever do so.

The battle is going to be hottest in the midfield.  For Croatia, Modric is the key to everything.  That he plays for Real Madrid tells you want you need to know about him.  He’s joined there by recent hero Rakitic.

For France, Mbappe is the young (19) and main man.   Tell Noob he doesn’t look like he’s about 35 when his forehead furrows.  Yikes.  Kante is the other man there who will be key to ball control.

Thanks for hanging with Noob during this awesome Cup.  I hope the mini-previews have been helpful even in their brevity.  Fun, and for the newest fans, encouraging in that you’ve been able to pick up just enough to enjoy the game a little bit more and to chat with friends who’ve followed the game longer.

Now go, be free!  Seek out more in-depth pregame analysis.  Noob will, too.

RESULT:   France   4-2      Mbappe becomes only the second teenager ever to score in a World Cup final.  (Noob still thinks he looks 35.)

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  1. LAFC vs. Portland Timbers – Major League Soccer

Expansion, surprising #B LAFC haven’t lost since June 2.  That one was at Dallas, the Western Conference’s #1.  During this torrid stretch, they’ve scored multiple goals every time out.

And if you think that’s impressive, Portland haven’t lost in 13 matches straight, since April 2!  How are they only in 5th?  But not getting a W in their first five of the season.   They’re baaaack.

For LAFC, Diamonde is the leading scorer.  Fellow forward Latif Blessing from Ghana has been smoking hot in July, too.  If both continue as they are, Houston and KC both may find themselves looking up at them in the table.

RESULT:   0-0

Blessing has something of a velociraptor-y look about him to Noob.

 

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  1. Monterrey vs. Necaxa – Supercopa MX

This is the first of two high-end exhibitions for Liga MX today.  They are both being held on the L.A. Galaxy’s home pitch.

The Supercopa pits the two Copa MX winners from last season against one another.  Just as the Liga MX season is divided into two separate halves (Apertura, Clausura), so they also play to Cup tournaments.  In the Clausura of 2017-18, these teams finished in 3rd and 11th, respectively.

RESULT:   Necaxa   0-1

  1. UANL Tigres vs. Santos – Campeon de Campeones

These two won the Apertura and Clausura liguillas (post-season playoffs) last season.  This is considered a friendly and not for the title of overall Mexican league champion.  The winner will play the last MLS champions in their home city (Toronto) in the inaugural Campeones Cup in September.

RESULT:   UANL   4-0

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All four should play at once.

THEN you’d get a real champion.

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – World Cup and Isle of Sodor cup knockout stages lead the way

Updated.  For her pleasure (Wed., 3:35  PM EST)

Midweek Edition is now complete.  Matches for Thursday are previewed, results for previous days are UP.

  1. Colombia vs. England – FIFA World Cup

So lots of folks think England intentionally blew their last Group Stage match versus Belgium in order to get a perceived easier path to deep in the tournament.  Noob thinks that sort of stuff might have made Colombia’s locker room bulletin board.

England looked dynamite in their first tournament match — against Panama.  They squeaked by Tunisia 1-2 with an injury time goal.  This team didn’t come to Russia with tons of hype.  They’re very young.

Colombia pummeled Poland and took down Senegal to win their Group.  But that was after a loss to FIFA-ranked #61 Japan to start their WC.  Admittedly, Japan surprised everyone and advanced.  And Colombia had been down to ten men after an early handball saw one of their players red-carded.

James Rodiguez is Colombia’s star and was injured in the last match, if not seriously.  He should be available, but may doubt he will start the match.  England = Harry Kane.  He has five WC goals so far.

And there you have it, mini-preview success!  This should get you through water cooler chat-level convo about the game.  Now go, be free!   Search out in-depth pregame analysis if your heart goes pitapat for such.  Noob will; his does.   (2:00 PM Eastern, Fox)

RESULT:   England   1-1  /  3-4 pk      England gave up their lead in stoppage time, then fell behind in penalty kicks before coming back to win.

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Is it always sunny at the water cooler?

B.  Houston Dynamo vs. LAFC – MLS

Watch this game.  Expansion club LAFC score like it protects their mothers’ reputations.  Offense galore!   They struggle on defense, but they’re still #3 in the Western Conference.

Houston is 7th there, just outside the Playoff picture.  The Dynamo look superb on paper.  But they lose a lot of close matches, earn very few draws.  Is it a toughness issue?

One of LAFC’s key offensive cogs is red-hot Adama Diomande.  The Oslo, Norway native scored seven times in June.  Previously he has played for Hull City in England’s second-tier Championship league.  (9:00 PM, ESPN+)

RESULT:   2-2     Houston scored twice in the 90′ to come back for a draw.

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Noob had no idea the balls they played with across the pond were so odd.

  1. Cabalnoo vs. Crovan’s Gate – Isle of Sodor Cup

The Round of 16 knockout stage continues!  Let’s profile today’s combatants:

Cabalnoo stunned the Isle in the Group Stage, winning Group B.  They scored far and away the most goals (25!) in the three matches while also giving up the most (15).   That slashing, daring style is hardly unique on Sodor, where defense isn’t exactly a prized virtue.  But those numbers are nutso.  Will they continue in the same aggressive fashion, or become conservative now that the tournament is one-and-done?

Cabalnoo is such a surprise because it is such a small village.  They’ve been projected to start their league play in the bottom, Third Division when the inaugural leagues start in a few months.  They had to win qualifying matches just to get to the Group Stage.

It’s just small, idyllic village on a railway line.  A lot of milling takes place for the surrounding countryside farmers here.  But no other villages of note are fielding an official Club anywhere else in this south-central part of the Isle, so they’re drawing players from a bit larger area than many may have realized.

The story of Group A was that Toryreck wrecked all comers.  Crovan’s Gate is a pretty low-end average team that beat the other two also-rans on tiebreaking goal differential by just not getting housed by the winners.

The Village of Crovan’s Gate is the most southwesterly incorporated area on Sodor, though well inland.  It’s a hub for industrial equipment repair, and so has a lot of transplants from other parts of the Isle.  Perhaps in some way people coming to live here for those particular jobs plays into the strange nickname for the football club – “The Grumpy Passengers”.

RESULT:   Crovan’s Gate   7-8     Neither side led by more than one AND CG game back to win late.

  1. Reno 1868 vs. Real Monarchs SLC – USL

Noob shakes his fist at you, “Real”!   No royalty in ‘Muricuh, not now, not ever.  Utah is weird.  OK, now that’s out of my system.

Reno haven’t lost a league match since mid-April, but lots o’ draws means they’ve only climbed to 5th place.  Accursed-SLC leads the Western Conference and man alive are they tough to score on.  Last year, Reno scored on everyone at will, but this year is more defensively-oriented.

Noob thinks the matchup is a bad one for the Nevadans.

RESULT:   Reno   3-0     Then again, they were at home 🙂

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Noob can’t quite put his finger on why, but Chris Weham just looks Nevadan.  No matter where he might actually be from.

Wednesday

  1. Dallas FC vs. Atlanta United – MLS

Atlanta is coming of a pasting of rival Orlando City.  Possibility of a letdown is here, though one would think travelling to the #B team in the Western Conference will keep them on their toes.

Dallas trail only Kansas City in that conference, despite having lost two of their last three matches.  They win a lot, yet haven’t beaten a truly good team sin a month (LAFC).  This will be an excellent test to see if they’re truly capable of being a championship-caliber team.

Atlanta is a goal-scoring behemoth, yet Noob believes their success starts at the other end of the field.  Veteran goalkeeper Brad Guzan spent nearly a decade in the English Premier League.  He is used to directing intelligent defenses, has the team as a top-three unit in the East.   (8:00 PM, ESPN+)

RESULT:   Dallas   3-2    Akindele with the tying and go-ahead goals at almost 90′.

  1. Real Salt Lake vs. Sporting Kansas City – MLS

Speak of the leaders and they appear.  They hadn’t lost a match since April until lowly Montreal beat them two-nothing.  As perplexing as that may be, the road is hard for most everyone.  They’re an incredibly well-balanced team.  Noob thinks they will hold one for the #1 seed in the West.

RSL is a target of Noob’s ire and rage!   I will never tire of pointing out that ‘Muricuh has no royalty to dub anything “royal”.  The “Claret and Cobalt” snobs are in 5th place, but how?  They can’t score worth a darn and yet have only two draws.  Win or bust for them most every time out.

The Management has KC ties and will be cheering hard for them.   Noob hates to suck up to the boss, but I will be joining him in it.  (10:00 PM, ESPN+)

RESULT:   RSL   4-2

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Noob bottles none.  But may head to a bulk store and stock up now.

  1. North Carolina Courage vs. Chicago Red Stars – NWSL

Chicago’s been enjoying a favorable run in their schedule, haven’t lost in four matches, and have climbed into a tie for 3rd.  Wonderful!  Now they head into the #1 Courage’s gladiatorial arena, equipped figuratively with only a dull stick.  Footyball death and destruction await them.

RESULT:   NC   4-1

Thursday

  1. Toryreck vs. Ffarrquhar – Isle of Sodor Premier Cup

Play on Sodor has always been unstructured.  Mini-seasons between quickly-formed leagues, small day tournaments.  It’s always been there, but very fluid.  Because of this, the new FA on Sodor had a hard time judging which teams would be strongest.  They went primarily on town or village size for putting teams into Pots for the Group Stage draw.

And boy was that method seemingly inaccurate!  Toryreck were the lowest-seeded team in Pot 4.  They had to play qualifying matches against other very small village teams just to get to the Group Stage.  There, they dominated, outscoring opponents 15-3.

Not too far inland from Knapford on the east-central coat, Toryreck used to be known as a lead mining area.  These days, the joke about the village is not to drink the milk there.  One of the two main dairies on the Isle is nearby, but now the primary mining is of uranium.

Ffarquhar is a larger village, known most for its general rock-quarrying.  The big Anopha Quarry isn’t even all that far north of Toryreck, and so these teams know one another very well.  The double F were pretty average during the Group Stage, but did enough to finish second behind East Coast Diesel.

The winner here gets either E.C.D. or Cronk in the Quarterfinals.

RESULT:   2-3   Ffarquhar

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Noob loves how someone designed this to show that milk goes in the glass to complete the danger-cycle.

  1. Engordany vs. Folgore – Europa League

UEFA’s version of American’ college basketball’s NIT has already begun!   This is the Preliminary Round, where FA Cup and #B-finishers from the lowest-ranked Euro leagues compete.

Engoradny finished #B in Andorra’s top domestic league last season.  Folgore was second-best in San Marino.  The Andorrans won the first match of the two-legged tie 2-1.  The winner will advance to play Lithuanian club Zalgiris Vilnius.

Noob doesn’t have a lot to tell you about these teams, Noobites.  The point is more to know that the event has begun at all.

RESULT:   Engo   1-1   /  3-2 pk

  1. Ludogorets Razgrad vs. Slavia Sofia – Bulgaria Super Cup

The Bulgarian First League’s 2018-19 season begins in less than three weeks.  Like in many nations, they’re league defending champs and the last FA Cup winner face off in a fancy exhibition to whet folks’ appetites.  The game is in Sofia, though not at Slavia’s home pitch.

Slavia Sofia did very well to win the FA Cup.   They didn’t do all that well in league certainly.  They didn’t even make the top 6 (of14) and make the championship subdivision near season’s end.  Ludo (and CSKA Sofia) steamrolled the rest of the league.

Slavia beat Levski Sofia in this event last year.  Still, if Slavia can keep this within a goal today, Noob will be impressed.

RESULT:   L.R.   1-0

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Breed a rideable sheep-pig?

THAT impresses.

’10 to Track’ Weekend Edition (6/23-24) soccer matches – World Cup, Isle of Sodor Cup, MLS, NWSL y mas!

Join Noob for ten of the most important soccer matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game.  And for my on-site, seemingly exclusive online coverage of the inaugural Isle of Sodor Cup!

Saturday

  1. South Korea vs. Mexico – FIFA World Cup

South Korea lost their first match to Sweden here in Group, while Mexico stunned Germany 1-0.  They are ranked 57th and 15th in the world, respectively.

South Korea have a central midfielder who’s been playing for English Premier club Swansea City –Ki Sung-yeung.  Mexico may well decide to attack more from the edges so he’s not such a factor.

Mexico’s goal in Game One game from Hirving Lozano.  Can he strike again?

There you have it, Noobites!   Snack-sized preview to get you at least through water cooler chat.  noob will not have hurt feelings if you know go in search of even deeper pre-game analysis.  I’m going to certainly.  We learn, we grow.   (11:00 AM Eastern, Fox, Telemundo)

RESULT:   1-2   Mexico      No one is quite through or quite out yet, but these two are nearly so

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B.  New York Red Bulls vs. FC Dallas – MLS

Dallas have pulled into a tie for 1st place in the West with Kansas City.  Their five-match win streak is surely impressive.  It’s worth noting that the road wins have come against softer teams, because NYRB ain’t one.

Red Bulls bring the heat like anyone outside of Atlanta Utd.  They’re in 4th in the Eastern Conference, and have played one to three matches fewer than all the clubs ahead of them.  It’s strange.  They struggle some against teams from their region (except NYCFC), lay waste to most others.  If you like trends, put your money on the home side today.   (6:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Red Bulls   3-0

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Number B, you are so money.

  1. LAFC vs. Columbus Crew – MLS

Our MLS undercard is hardly that as the conferences’ #3’s face off.

LAFC’s one recent league win was against league lowbies San Jose, and they needed two goals in the 90’ to achieve that much (3-4).

Columbus haven’t won since May, yet have mostly earned draws since that time to keep them well afloat in the table.  Their superb goalkeeping was bound to come back to earth a little after an amazing spring stretch. Can Zach Steffen recapture the magic?   (10:30 PM, ESPN+)

  1. Seattle Reign vs. North Caroline Courage – NWSL

It’s #B versus #1!   That will always have a certain luster.  Yet make no mistake, Seattle is a big underdog at home to the locomotive that is NCC.  The league’s only about a dozen games in and the Courage already lead by 11 points in the table.

Still, Seattle hasn’t conceded a goal in three straight matches, and NCC actually let lowly Houston draw with them their last match.

RESULT:   Courage   1-4

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Umm…thanks, Chuck!

  1. Junction & Sheds vs. Killdane – Isle of Sodor Cup

Junction & Sheds (Knapford) aren’t expected to be quite as strong as Knapford Town in the inaugural IoS Premier League coming in a few months, but they’ll be plenty competitive.  They’re one of three teams here in Group G with three points, so simply getting a draw today would hardly guarantee them advancement to the Knockout Round.

Killdane already knocked of a future Premier side in Ulfstead, so they won’t be intimidated.  Perhaps they should be though.  J&S won that first match of theirs by a Cup-largest margin of seven goals (1-8).  Killdane are expected to be a midtable side in the Second Division.

RESULT:   Killdane   1-5!     All of Group G is knotted up at three points apiece with just a match to go each.

Sunday

  1. England vs. Panama – FIFA World Cup

#55 FIFA-ranked Panama needs at least a draw to stay alive in Group G.  A win would guarantee #12 England advancement to the Knockout Round, though they’d need a big one to pass Denmark on goal differential for the Group lead.

England had a sensational first half against Tunisia, likely should’ve won by more than 1-2 as they did.   In all recent major tournaments, they struggle early and often, so “The Three Lions” are thrilled to have a W already.

Panama played a very, very physical style against Belgium, leaving things tied 0-0 at the half before Belgium solved them for a 3-0 win.  England should handle them, but this will be a different challenge presented.

Oh, and England’s coach dislocated his shoulder somehow.   And there you have it!  Mini-preview to get you through water cooler chat-level convo for tomorrow’s biggest WC match.  Now go, be free!  Explore more in-depth pregame schtuff if you are so inclined.  Noob will.  We’re all learning.   8:00 AM Eastern, FS1, Telemundo)

RESULT:   England   6-1

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  1. Atlanta United vs. Portland Timbers – MLS

Atlanta are perhaps the best team in all the league, and currently sit atop the Eastern Conference.  There can be little doubt Portland are the hottest team.  They had a rough start to 2018, but are now unbeaten in ten straight and are 6th in the West.

It’s the defense that’s got both clubs in playoff slots in the table.  The back lines are key for both sides.  Neither goalkeeper is in the top ten in saves, but ATL’s Brad Guzan has more in today’s matchup.  He played nine seasons in the English Premier League.  Can he keep a clean sheet today?   (4:30 PM, Fox)

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Kirk Ronan vs. Dryaw – Isle of Sodor Cup

Cabalnoo lead Group B, stunningly, are the only one of the four with a win.  All others have ties here, so if either can win this match outright today, we have a real race on our hands.

Dryaw had a weird, scoreless match with Norramby in their first and only match so far.  Defense isn’t a very Sudric thing in football.  Even given that, the ten goals Kirk Ronan conceded against Cabalnoo still has our heads shaking.  Perhaps at home the larger Churchmen club can right things.

RESULT:   Kirk Ronan   4-3

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Eeriest B&B in the world might be the original Ronan church (“kirk”) where Noob is staying.

  1. Kairat Almaty vs. Astana – Kazakhstan Premier

#B versus #1!   And in a way it’s even tighter.  Kairat Almaty are only five points behind the traditional league power and they’ve played two fewer games.  More, they’ve only lost once.  Astana has already taken two L’s.

Still, Noob’s not ready to call this one for the home team.  Astana would feel fine about a draw and can control the ball enough to get it.

RESULT:   Astana   1-2

  1. BATE Borisov vs. Shakhtyor Soligorsk – Belarus Premier

BATE is the historic great from this domestic lead, and they’re #1 again now.  But #4 Soligorsk have the best defense in the league.  BATE have to be favored, especially at home – and with the best offense to boot.  Still, this could end up the surprise upset of leagues today.

RESULT:   0-0

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If Noob weren’t in Kirk Ronan, Sodor for the Cup, I’d be saying, “So long from beautiful Barysaw, Belarus!”

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches (6/19-21) – World Cup, Isle of Sodor Cup lead the way

The ten most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game.  Noob’s mantra.  It’s mostly Cup action for the midweek, FIFA World and Isle of Sodor.

Noob’s on a whirlwind tour of Sodor, hustling from one village or town to the next each day for matches as I continue my seemingly exclusive online coverage.  To this end, I’m posting just the two feature matches for Tuesday from here in Glennock, even though the train ride to Crovan’s Gate for tomorrow’s key game isn’t long, even by Sodor standards.

Tuesday

  1. Colombia vs. Japan – FIFA World Cup

Welcome to Group G.  All four teams here play their first match today.  Favorite Poland face off against Senegal.  #16 FIFA-ranked Colombia is likely to be the other one to advance.  Japan are just #61 in the world.

Colombia seem an interesting case.  In the last friendlies before a major event, teams begin letting their likely starters play together.  No more auditions, so to speak.  They actually beat France not long ago, but then only managed scoreless draws against Tunisia and Australia leading up to WC.

Lowly Japan actually managed a win against a decent non-Cup-Bound Paraguay side in their last match.  They haven’t tested themselves against the caliber of competition they’ll face here in Russia, and they didn’t perform well even against those teams by and large.

And there’s your water cooler chat-level mini-preview!   Now go, be free!  Dig deeper on the interwebs for more in-depth pre-game analysis.  Noob will.  But this is what we do here.   (8:00 AM Eastern, FS1)

RESULT:   Japan   1-2     But anything is possible when one team is down a man after just three minutes!   Colombia lost a man to a red card for a handball in the box.  Japan scored the ensuing penalty, gave up the lead, then reclaimed it in the second half.  

Senegal also upset Poland 1-2 today in this Group, so it’s going to be a wild one!

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B.  Crovan’s Gate vs. Brendam United – Isle of Sodor Premier

Welcome back to Group A.  One of the event’s favorites – Brendam Utd. lost by a bad 0-3 margin, even if it was to fellow future IoS Premier Leaguers Tidmouth Works.  We’ll see if that was a wake-up call and they put a hurting on Crovan’s Gate.

CG only lost their first Cup match by two, but it was to Toryreck – a qualifier that will be in the bottom division when leagues’ officially form and kick off in a few months.  And CG gave up five goals.  They’ll be playing in the middle of three domestic divisions.

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Here Noob comes!

 

 

Wednesday

  1. Iran vs. Spain – FIFA World Cup

Portugal and Spain played a match for the ages a few days ago, ending in a 3-3 draw.  Spain will be looking for three points here against the second-highest ranked Asian team (but FIFA-ranked just #37).  Iran got a surprising 1-0 win over Morocco.  Even a draw somehow today keeps them very much alive to advance.

This is an interesting matchup for a couple reasons style- and player-wise.   Diego Costa scored two goals for Spain against Portugal, but may not have room to operate against Iran – a tight defensively-oriented side.  A more creative player like Isco may be one to watch setting up unique opportunities in the front third.

Spain showed some defensive problems in that first match.  Some will argue that might help Iran.  But Iran is going to have trouble possessing the ball at all to try and score as Spain presses.

And there you have it, Noobites!  Water cooler chat-level mini-preview success.  Now go, be free!  Noob is out there reading more in-depth preview analysis and invites you to do likewise.   (2:00 PM, Fox)

RESULT:   Spain   0-1      Isco was your Man of the Match with his ball control, passing

  1. LAFC vs. Sacramento Republic – U.S. Open Cup

The second four matches of the Round of 16 in America’s FA Cup are all today.  This is the one that features the only non-MLS side remaining.

Sacramento Republic are out of the second division-USL.  They finished 8th in the Western Conference last year, just making the playoffs.  This season, they’re in a surprising third place– despite some offensive trouble.

MLS-expansion LAFC is all the way up in 3rd as well in their West.    They struggle on defense, but score like it’s going out of style.  It’s unfortunate for Sacramento the draw for home pitch didn’t go their way.  This may not be competitive.  But everyone loves a Minnow (non-top division underdog), so Noob’ll be pulling for ‘em!

RESULT:   LAFC   3-2     High drama!   Equalizer at 68′, then the go-ahead by aptly-named Latif Blessing at 89′.

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Boooooo.  BOOOOO!

  1. Vicarstown vs. Peel Godred – Isle of Sodor Cup

Hello from Barrow, England!  Look, Noob enjoys Vicarstown the town, but somehow being in Barrow just makes me feel more… real, somehow.  Grounded?  Maybe.  But I’ll be crossing the bridge from Cumbria to The Isle for this super duper Group H matchup!

Group favorite Peel scored a narrow victory over future-second division club Callan FC 2-1.  Now they hit the road to face Vicarstown, a team that is expected to finish at the bottom of the coming Premier League.  They were upset 1-2 at Elsbridge in their first match.

Given that the nature of football play on Sodor has been so loosely organized, it’s hard to handicap games here.  Things will be clearer after a couple years of formal league play, which starts in a few months.  They don’t formally gamble on Sodor, but Noob did throw down a few quid on V-town just because it’s home for them.  Another advantage to sleeping on the English side of Walney Channel.

RESULT:   Vicarstown   5-1          And just like an Iranian fan’s wallet did the fire-trick which he used to try and light a cigarette at his teams World Cup match against Argentina today, a women’s whole purse went up when in a similar incident outside the venue.  High drama!

  1. O’Higgins vs. Colchagua – Copa Chile

Now here’s a Minnow-match!

This is the Second Round of Chile’s FA Cup, the stage at which the 16 Premier teams enter the competition.  O’Higgins is a midtable club from that league.

Colchagua plays in the Segunda Division – the third tier of football in Chile – where they are #B in the table.  These two are from the same geographic area and are very much rivals.   The first match of this two-legged tie ended in a 1-1 draw.  Expecting Colchagua to manage as much and more on the road today is a lot.  But here’s to hoping!

RESULT:   Colchagua   0-0  /  5-6 pk      Somehow Noob had some wrong info on this one.  The first match had ended in a scoreless draw.  Still — Minnow success!

Image result for colchagua football crest

 

 

Uh oh.

Don’t let the luck run out of that horseshoe, boys.

  1. KuPS vs. HJK – Finland Veikkausliga

The Finnish top flight is the lowest-ranked of the Nordic domestic leagues.  But hey– they’re playing!

When Noob first scouted and selected this match, it was a mighty #B/#1 matchup.  Since then, RoPS have overtaken KuPS for Bth place (boy do the Finns love their alphabet soup).  No matter.  Everyone is chasing defending champs HJK again this season.

KuPS lead the league in offense, but barely over HJK – which has the far superior defense.   If the pace is hot, KuPS can win a shootout today in front of the home fans.

RESULT:   2-2

Thursday

  1. Argentina vs. Croatia – FIFA World Cup

One of the bigger stories early on has been that Iceland managed a draw against Argentina in their first match.  The good news for Argentina:  They dominated Iceland statistically.  The bad news:  This continues a trend of not performing well in recent months against WC-level competition.  Friendlies are only that, but patterns are hard to ignore.  The #5-ranked team in the world should be doing better.

Croatia took care of business against Nigeria with a 2-0 win in their first game.  Any result here puts them in excellent position to advance.  Look for them to try and keep the game slow-paced.

Key players:  If you’re following football at all, you know Messi.  Even Noob and Noobites.  Veteran Luka Modric (who plays for Real Madrid) is the name to watch for with Croatia.  He plays midfield.

Additional note:  Croatia sent a team member home after he refused to come on as a sub in their first match.  Not the biggest controversy, but any distraction can obviously get magnified at World Cup.

RESULT:   Croatia   0-3    Argentina may be about to be out of contention to advance!   Modric salted this one away with a screamer from above the box to make it 0-2.  

The first goal happened when back-up goalkeeper Cabellero failed to clear a back pass, instead lofting a little pass, basically, to an opposing player who howled it in.

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Noob hopes this is exactly how that played out.

  1. Colo-Colo vs. Atletico Ñublense – Copa Chile

Not to make it about Noob, but if you don’t think I’m not rooting for Ñublense forever and ever just because of their club name pronunciation, you’re cray-cray.

More, they stunned the famed powerhouse Primera club 2-0 in the first match of this two-legged tie!    The Longaniza Mecánica are currently in 4th place in the second-tier Primera B.  The other teams right around them look stronger there (they struggle a bit on offense), making their progress in the Copa all the more awesome.

Colo-Colo have also had problems scoring goals in league this season.  The defending champions are in just 6th.  Still, they’re in different leagues for a reason.  Colo-Colo will win at home today.  The question is simply will they win by enough to advance to the bracketed stage next.

RESULT:    Colo Colo   2-1      And so it’s Noob-lense that advances, on aggregate 2-3!

  1. Norramby vs. Cabalnoo – Isle of Sodor Cup

Noob loves Norramby.  Reminds me of Bournemouth, which is a Noob-fave club.  Little resort town of sorts.  They’ll be playing in the inaugural second division of the three formally starting next year on Sodor.

Cablalnoo is a small village, pretty close to far larger Kirk Ronan.  They will play in the bottom division, played through qualifiers to get here.  They got a surprising 5-5 draw against their larger rivals in their first match!  Norramby played Dryaw to a scoreless draw.  They don’t play a lot of defense on Sodor, so this is the anti-double rainbow of footyball happenings here.

So, Group B is wide open.  Can little ‘Noo surprise with another result today?

RESULT:   Cabalnoo   5-10    A Sudric suprise for the soccer ages!   Norramby really need the two middle teams in Group B to have a draw in their upcoming match.

Image result for isle of man cafe

 

 

 

So long from the IsleSound Cafe, Norramby!  

 

’10 to Track’ Relegation Monday soccer matches – World Cup, US Open, Isle of Sodor, and suckitude!

Since the FIFA World Cup is likely bringing fresh Noobite eyes to this humble site, allow Nob to explain:

On Mondays, world soccer schedules tend to be lighter than other times.  Stands to reason, given the weekend is heavy.  So the usual ‘ten most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game – takes this turn:

A few top matches get featured, but we mostly embrace the suckitude, preview matches in which at least one club is in position to be Relegated to a lower league st season’s end.  Come, get to know some sad sack-squads before they fade away!

  1. Tunisia vs. England – FIFA World Cup

Welcome to Group G.  These two have been drawn with Belgium (the favorites) and Panama (very not favored).  This is the first match for these teams.  Reminder:  Round-robin in each Group, top two finishers advance.

The most likely drama in G is between these two for finishing behind Belgium and advancing to the Knockout Stage.  Tunisia is the top-ranked team out of Africa (FIFA #21).  England are tied for 12th with Denmark.

England have not won the World Cup since 1966, always seem to feel lots of pressure and then underperform in major tournaments.  This team isn’t as star-studded as some of the past, as they focus on a youth movement and defense.  What offense they do manage to produce will probably run through  Tottenham  Sir Toppem Hatt Hotspur star Harry Kane.  (Yes, Noob still loathes Hotspur — named for a historical traitor!)  Other star Marcus Rashford seems to be over his recent injury.

And there you have it, you’re water cooler chat-level mini-preview.  Be free!   Go search out more in-depth coverage should you desire, Noobites.  I’m doing so.   (2:00 PM Eastern, FS1)

RESULT:   England   1-2    Harry Kane with a brace (two goals)!

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You’re a poor man’s Ryan Gosling, Harry Kane.

 B.  Houston Dynamo vs. Minnesota United – U.S. Open Cup

The American FA Cup has reached its Round of 16.  Only one non-MLS team advanced this far, Sacramento Republic of the USL (and formerly NASL).

Here, we get two Western Conference clubs on the outside looking in right now for league postseason berths.  They’re in 7th and 9th place, respectively.  Dreaded Houston (down with cities built on swamps!) is much better than shown in the table so far though.  Mark Noob’s words:  They’ll not only make the playoffs, they’ll have home pitch advantage for at least one game.

Minnesota can’t score worth a lick.  They will be lambasted this Round of the Cup.

RESULT:   Houston   1-0

Image result for letter B cup

 

 

 

Number B enjoys the Cup matches as a cup, of sorts.

  1. Glennock vs. Junction & Sheds – Isle of Sodor Cup

Noob’s exclusive coverage of the Isle of Sodor inaugural Cup returns!  Hello from the small village of Glennock, located well inland in the east-central portion of the country.  They are one of the four clubs to advance out of qualifiers that took place in the spring.  They will play in the third and bottom division of the Sodor football pyramid when everything launches this coming season.

The larger town of Knapford sends one of their two teams for battle today.  Talk Noob catches locally indicates J&S will probably be a lower midtable team in the coming Premier League.  They are the favorites to win Group F.

RESULT:   J&S   1-8     Kary Hanesworth scored for Glennock scored first, but after that it was all carnage

  1. Dinamo Minsk vs. Vitebsk – Belarus Premier

Belarus’ top league falls smack into the middle of UEFA’s associations rankings.  Usual powerhouse BATE Borisov have a wide lead built, given that they’re not halfway through their season.

The most likely club to possibly catch them appears to be #B Dinamo Minsk.  They’ve got the defense, but no one’s offense there measures up to BATE’s.  #4 Vitebsk isn’t many points further back, but they’re just not traditionally at the table’s top.

RESULT:   1-1

And now we embrace the suckitude with Relegation matches!

Image result for Dinamo Minsk

 

 

Noob likes the crest, even if it does look like could be a brand logo on ice cream or something.

  1. Gomel vs. Smolevichy – Belarus Premier

Welcome back to the Track, Smolevichy!  They’re in an easier part of their schedule, as Noob recently featured them on a Monday playing another league bottom-feeder.

Talkin’ ‘bout you, Gomel.  Can’t score more than about a goal every three games on average, gonna get Relegated.  They’re in a three-way tie for the two Relegation spots now.  Still, this might be a gettable match for them.  Smolevichy plays small ball, so to speak, so this will be a low-scoring game.  First side to score – at all – wins.

Not-So-Fun Fact:  Gomel is close enough to Chernobyl that it was part of the radiation zone.  The population had been declining all the way until the early 2000’s.

RESULT:   Smoley   0-2

  1. Kyzylzhar Petropavlovsk vs. Shakhtar Karagandy – Kazakhstan Premier

My Scrabble dictionary just broke up with me for typing your club name.  Thanks, K.P.

The home side is tied for 10th, which would put them in a Playoff with a top second-division team trying to move up and usurp their place.  They also play so little defense, Noob’s not convinced they formally play a goalie.  Karagandy is in 8th.

Fun Fact:  Petropavl is named for the Christian apostles Peter and Paul

RESULT:   K.P.   1-0     Funner Fact:   It’s a Relegation Monday miracle!

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Fine, Noob will just rebound with a Bartlett’s Book of Quotations.

  1. Independiente de Valle vs. Deportivo Cuenca – Ecuador Serie A

8th place hosts second-to-last in our one South American stop today.  IdV is only 8th, but Cuenca…. maybe they could pool their money with Karagandy above and split a goalie’s services.   (8:15 PM, GOL TV)

RESULT:   IdV   3-1

  1. Notre Dame vs. BDF – Barbados Premier

When Noob Tweets his regular announcement promoting the Track, if you don’t think I’m not hashtagging Notre Dame, you’re crazy.

The top tier league in Barbados just expanded this season from a ten-team, single group affair to a divided, two-“zone”, 12-team league.   Noobs Barbados source indicates that the bottom two teams in each Zone are below a line.  It seems doubtful they’re giving a third of the league The Boot, so more likely is that the four clubs will have a mini-tournament to determine which one or two move down

If Notre Dame can kick their offense up a notch, they may overtake one of the two teams just ahead of them.  That won’t happen today though.  BDF is the Zone 2 leader by a billion miles.  Noob would handicap this match by granting ND four goals.

RESULT:   BDF   0-6     Not a typo.   At four goals, Noob didn’t handicap Notre Dame enough.  Yikes.

Fun Fact:   Notre Dame play on the south side of the capital, Bridgetown – which used to be called The Town of St. Michael.  The area parish still carries that name.

Image result for Notre Dame university funny

 

 

 

 

Right, what she said.  Signed.  Whatever.

  1. Zakho vs. Naft – Iraq Premier

This is to Mondays in a row, Zakho.  In last by six points, Noob suspects you’ll be here enough I have to charge you rent.  Worse luck, you play the #4 and best defensive team in the league today.  Good luck with that.

Fun Fact:   “Zakho” might well mean either “victory” or “river of blood”, either likely stemming from an ancient Roman-Persian battle there.

RESULT:   Naft   0-2

  1. Shukura vs. WIT Georgia – Georgia Erovnuli Liga 2

Hey, Noob’s featured the third tier TWICE.  This is a step up in, er, toward relevance.

This league is strange.  Other than second-place Norchi Dinamo, every team here looks about the same on offense, statistically.  Last-place Shukura, however, seemingly enjoys just watching balls flutter by into their goal.  Only one team gets Dropped from this league at season’s end, and Shukura look like it by a wide berth.  #1 WIT Georgia will get the road W, riding their supreme defense.

Fun Fact:   Shukura are based in Kobuleti, a seaside resort town that’s super-popular with Armenian tourists.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for Kobuleti beautiful

 

 

Were Noob not in Sodor, I’d be saying so long from Hotel Chveni Ezo in Kobleti.

’10 to track’ Weekend Edition soccer matches (6/9-10) – so much ‘Muricuh!

The ten most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game – have red, white and blue all over them this weekend.  Both US Nationals teams are in play, and there are a hot bunch of league matches stateside.   Ogle the previews with a hand over your Noobite heart.

  1. France vs. U.S.A. – friendly

The USMNT has scheduled themselves a nice little sequence for the late spring and early summer.  Bolivia was a team they should beat, Ireland then was a team with whom they were roughly on par, and now they get a severe test with #7 FIFA-ranked France.

Bolivia they beat, Ireland was a close but competitive loss.  And all this is colored by the fact that they’re playing many younger guys since they didn’t qualify for World Cup.  Meanwhile, France will likely be playing their WC starting lineup, tuning up for the start in Russia in a few days.   (3:00 PM Eastern, ESPN)

RESULT:   1-1     Not at all bad for basically an American U23 side

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Muricuh!!

 

B.  Northern Cyprus vs. Karpatalja – ConIFA World Cup

The Final!  Search keyword “ConIFA” on the front page of this site hit the last few posts that have mentioned this organization and event.  The first one will have more detail, though you can also visit ConIFA.org.

After a first Knockout round blowout of host organization Barawa (8-0), Padania gave them all they could handle before succumbing 2-3.  Late fill-in entrant Karpatalja have surprised and then some.  They beat Szekely Land 4-2 to earn their shot at the hardware.

This event as been so exciting for me to follow.  In my endeavor to learn more about the soccer world, this event has led me to learn a lot more about the world in general.  Noob and Noobite we may be, but we may end up more learned than veteran fans.

RESULT:   Karpatalja   0-0  /  3-2 pk     The Turkish nationals and emigrants almost certainly made it a home field advantage for Northern Cypress, but late fill-in entrant Karpatalja is your champion – congrats!

Image result for letter B is best

 

 

Number B gives the finalists and all ConIFA his approval!

  1. NYCFC vs. Atlanta United – MLS

#B hosts #1 in the oh-so-tough Eastern Conference.

NYCFC is coming off a harrowing loss to New York Red Bulls in the U.S. Open Cup – a 4-0 drubbing.  Atlanta, too, has been a little up and down in recent matches.  But they took care of business against USL’s Richmond in the Cup and got a solid enough win over Philly at home before that.

Oddly, both have struggled at home, at least compared to what one might expect.  Could that actually mean advantage: Atlanta?  (12:30 PM, ESPN+, Fox Sports Southwest)

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Columbus Crew vs. New York Red Bulls – MLS

As solid a season as they’re having, the big story with the Crew is still whether or not their owner is moving them to Austin.  The most recent word was surprisingly a nudge in favor of them staying on Ohio.  The owner wants a bunch of money spent by Austin and folks there aren’t looking ready to pony up.

The Crew are in 3rd, hosting #4 NYRB.  Columbus hasn’t lost since April but a lot of draws (including three straight) have kept them from the top of the table.   (5:00 PM, ESPN)

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for funny Columbus Crew fans

 

Bandito kerchief-wearing, wrong-color Iron Man says the Crew should stay in Columbus.

  1. Portland Timbers vs. Sporting Kansas City – MLS

Now we head out West to see two scalding-hot sides, #’s 5 and 1 in the table.  Neither have lost in about two months.  Both find success riding their defenses, so this may not be the most exciting match for we laypeople to watch live, but it will be an important one nonetheless.   (3:30 PM, ESPN+, ROOT Sports Northwest)

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Denmark vs. Mexico – friendly

More World Cup calisthenics!  FIFA-ranked #12 hots #15.

it’s weird to read and hear from so many pundits and personalities in media that rooting for Mexico in the World Cup as an American is a bad thing.  Noob says anything that gets us watching – whether cheering for or against Mexico – is a very good thing.

Me?  Costa Rica.  Why?  Other than they’re in CONCACAF, not sure.  Maybe it’s because they’re right next to the US world ranking.   (2:00 PM, Univision)

RESULT:   Denmark   2-0

Image result for costa rica funny

 

 

 

Thanks?

  1. Sacramento Republic vs. Phoenix Rising – USL

Tied for #B.  We need more Number B!

In the West, everyone is chasing Noob-dreaded “royal”/Real Monarchs SLC.  Phoenix looks like the far more likely candidate to make a push.  They have the top offense in the conference, and that’s really saying something when one considers Reno (record-breaking O last year).

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Atletico Nacional vs. Tolima – Colombia Premier

The Apertura (first half-season) Final, the second leg!

Atletico Nacional won the first match of this two-legged tie 0-1.  They won the Apertura regular season, had the best defense in the league, and were a mite better on offense than Tolima.  There’s not a lot of reason to think Tolima can make up a deficit on the road here.

RESULT:   Tolima   1-2      An Atletico player got a red card at the end of the game, and then Tolima scored the winning goal!   That made the aggregate 2-2, and then Tolima went on to win the title 2-4 in penalties. 

Image result for tiburon willy gif

 

Noob thinks the gal-mascot pertains to Tolima. 

Whether or no, good LAWD.

  1. Tunisia vs. Spain – friendly

#21 and Africa’s top-rated national team takes on the world #10 in a tuneup before they head to Russia

Spain may have only managed a draw against Switzerland, but those guys are a top-10 team themselves.  And it’s hard to forget how they ran absolutely roughshod over world power Argentina 6-1 the match before.

Tunisia continue to rack up non-losses. though the level of competition hasn’t been treeeemendous.

RESULT:   Spain   0-1

Sunday, 6/11

  1. Canadia vs. Germany – women’s friendly

Just a friendly, yes.  but these are the 3rd and 4th-ranked squads in the world.  Certainly a possible final or semifinal matchup preview.  The lofty number aside, neither has had much success against their peers of late, though Germany did beat the French side two attempts ago.

RESULT:   2-2

Image result for Hamilton Ontario funny

 

 

So long from Hamilt– GAH!!!

*pees self*

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches (6/5-7) – ConIFA World Cup leads the way

Noob will dole out the Midweek featured matches piecemeal, day by day.  The footyball, it teases you, Noobites.  Tantalizes.

To learn a bit more about ConIFA, scroll down the last couple three posts.  Or visit them at ConIFA.org.

Tuesday

  1. Karpatalja vs. Cascadia – ConIFA World Cup

Karpatalja didn’t initially qualify for the event, but ended up replacing late dropout Feldivek (from Romania, representing the Hungarian minority there).  Yet they won their Group, finishing ahead of good Northern Cypress and Abkhazia sides.

Karpatalja also represent a Hungarian minority, but in the Ukraine.  They are not ranked in the posted top thirteen.

RESULT:   Karpatalja   3-1     Cascadia isn’t done playing though, as teams which lose get moved down into what they call “placement matches”.   Nice that they may the knockout stage in their first-ever trip to WC.

Image result for Karpatalja football

 

 

Gotta be honest – the upright animal with the tongue out is creeping Noob out.

B.  Louisville FC vs. New England Revolution – U.S. Open Cup

‘Muricuh’s FA Cup has reached its Fourth Round, where the MLS big boys come out to play.

These are single Knockout matches, and USL’s reigning champ had the good fortune to draw their Major League team on their own pitch.  Noob thinks they’ll still be doing well to earn a draw at home over 90’+, send it to penalties.  The winner here takes on the winner of the New York Derby next — NYCFC vs. Red Bulls.

RESULT:   Louisville   3-2      Upset City!

Image result for Letter B playing

Number B has also come out to play.

Sneaky Number B — are you for the Cavs or Warriors?

 

 

Wedesnday

  1. New York Red Bulls vs. NYCFC – U.S. Open Cup

The return of the New York derby!  It’s quite possible one of these two will win the whole shebang.  They currently rank #4 and #B in the MLS Eastern Conferences.

NYRB had been on fire until a loss at New England Revolution in their last league match.  NYCYC have been more up and down of late, will need to keep their defense buttoned down to have a shot.  It’s been a bit suspect at times this year.

RESULT:   NYRB   4-0

  1. Houston Dynamo vs. NTX Rayados – U.S. Open Cup

Welcome back to the Track, NTX!   This is the one true remaining minnow left in the tournament, an amateur team out of the North Texas Premier League.

To get this far, NTX have beaten a couple of tier-four teams and one from the USL (the admittedly awful OKC energy).  Today, obviously, they take a big step up in competition.

Houston has lost two league matches in a row, and one to the woeful Impact from Montreal.  Still, the Rayados would be doing well to keep this within two goals.

RESULT:   HOU   5-0      NTX kept the match scoreless for the first half

 

Rayados celebrate their first goal against Wichita in the Third Round

  1. The Strongest vs. Jorge Wilstermann – Bolivia Premier

Es deja vú toda de neuvo.  The Apertura (first half-season) Final of home and away matches between these two ended in a 3-3 aggregate draw.  Instead of penalty kicks, they’re playing again!

This final Final match will be held at a neutral site, in Sucre.  JW were the stronger team (pun intended) during the regular season.  Hard not to see them as the favorite here.

RESULT:   JW   2-2  /  2-3  PK      Congrats to the champs!

  1. Johor Darul Ta’zim vs. Pahang – Malaysia Super League

A few days ago, we featured a 1-2 match from this league.  JDT were and are #1.  It was written here that then-#B Perak had been overachieving, and it is proving to be true.  It was also posted that Pahang were the real second-best team in the league, and now they’re there.  What Noobstradamus sees comes to pass, never doubt, heathen Noobites!

Still, no one scores on Johur.  They’re not losing at home to anyone.

RESULT:   JDT   1-0

Image result for noobstradamus

 

A Malaysian proverb says one should “not use an axe to embroider“.

I…lost my train of thought.  This doesn’t seem soccer-relevant now.  

 

Thursday

  1. USA vs. China – women’s friendly

‘Muricuh!!   #1!  USA!  Too many exclamation points!  The USWNT is already in for the 2019 WC by virtue of representing the host nation.

China are ranked #17 in the world, are about the 5th-best in Asia.  By finishing in the top three of the 2014 Asia Cup, they’ve already gained a berth for the final World Cup qualifying stage of the current version.  (Asia Cup is the WC qualifying determiner there.)   (9:00 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   USA   1-0

  1. Northern Cyprus vs. Padania – ConIFA World Cup

Semifinal action!  Northern Cyprus lambasted the host team – Barawa – 8-0 last round.  Padania topped Panjab 2-0.  Peruse posts from the last few days to learn more about this event, or hit ConIFA.org.

RESULT:   Northern Cyprus   3-2

Funny banana man in Northern Cypress restaurant is not worried about the #MeToo movement.  He’s gonna dance with whomever.

9.  Wales vs. Bosnia and Herzegovina – women’s World Cup qualification (UEFA)

This tournament is in its second Group Stage.  35 teams have been divided into seven pods of five each.  They will play double round-robins in each.  The Group winners make the WC, while the top four second-best finishers will have a playoff for one more berth.

Wales is FIFA-ranked #34.  They’re #B in their Group, just two points behind England with three matches to play.  B&H are #57, are far enough back that they cannot win the Group.  They could still make second, but it’s going to require quite the run.

RESULT:   Wales   1-0

  1. England vs. Costa Rica – friendly

#13 hosts #25 in the World as they both prepare for World Cup.  England’s national team hasn’t lost in nearly a year, riding the back of their defense.  Still, for some reason, many a pundit doesn’t think they’ll make it out of the Group Stage in Russia.

Costa Rica has recently beaten Scotland and Northern Ireland, but lost to Tunisia in between.   They’re kinda-sorta Noob’s team to cheer for with the U.S. not in it.  Muricuhns are so torn on whether or not to root for rival Mexico, so why not the next-best CONCACAF side?   (3:00 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   England   2-0

Image result for Leeds England weirdos

 

 

 

So long from Leeds, West Yorkshire, England!