Tag: OKC Energy

Classic Noob revisited – “We are D-2” / “We Are the World”

Noob is preparing to morph this project into largely exclusive coverage of the inaugural Isle of Sodor Premier League coverage.    There will be joy.

In the meantime, please indulge in the D-Twos-Day Interviews.    This was the final post in that category (Page on right for all of them). 

Welcome, Noobites, to the final 2017 edition of D-Twos-Day Interview.  Noob’s had the unparalleled pleasure of interviewing coaches and myriad figures from the part of the soccer world we most celebrate: North American second division leagues!

But one of them, the North American Soccer League, is on its last legs.  They need our help!  Inspired by the 80’s classic song that raised nearly $150M in 2017-adjusted dollars to aid famine relief in Africa, Noob has gotten together an all-star cast to record a new version of”We Are the World”.

Thank you to all the surviving artists involved with the original for joining us.  Special thanks to Dominic Kinnear for not breaking out mid-song into any Rush classic.

And no, Noob has no idea how this will help.  But it WILL.  And if you don’t get this, go back and check out all the great Interviews!  The segment returns in 2018.

Lionel Richie:   There comes a time when we heed a certain call
When D-2 must come together as one.
Paul Simon:   A tier-two league is dying
And it’s time to lend a hand to NASL
Paul, Kenny Rogers:   A soccer gift for all.

Noob:  Noob can’t go on pretending day by day
That somehow, some way it’s gonna get saved
Tina Turner:   We’re all a part of D-2’s big family
Billy Joel:  And the truth, you know,
Noob, Tina, Billy:   Is this is all we neeeeeeeed

Choir:   We are D-2.  We are the coaches
We are the fans, the concerned parties
So let’s keep singing
Diana Ross:   It’s a choice we’re making
It’s not just USL
Diana Ross and NASL federal case judge Margo K. Brodie:   It takes both leagues to make a better day
Just wait and seeeeeee!

Puerto Rico FC head coach Marco Velez:   Thought Noob was my tio, but now I call him Noober
And our lives together are stronger and free
Willie Nelson:   As we have shown you, by calling him “asshat”
Willie and Marco Velez:   We’re strong.  And nothing can defeat us now!
(background: Cyndi Lauper – “but Miami FCeeeeeeee!)

Edmonton FC head coach Colin Miller:   Called him the C-word – in Scottish Gaelic
But he mailed me booze, 30 years old
Turns out Noob’s no dick!

(background: Noob – “Could we find a way to rephrase that please?)

New York Cosmos owner Rocco Commisso:  D-2 status be damned
Noob agrees with me
It’s true we should just care
About qualiteeee!

L.A. Galaxy asst. coach Dominic Kinnear:   When you’re down and out, there seems no hope at all
Huey Lewis:   But if you just believe there’s no way we can fall
Cyndi Lauper:   Well, well, well!  Let’s realize that a change can only come
Huey, Cyndi, Kim Carnes, and OKC Energy ‘Grid’ fan club prez Joseph Pugh:   When we stand together as one!
(Joseph Pugh cont.:  “WOOO!!  Do it, Nooner!)

Choir:   They went dark-arts, went Santeria
Burned rabbit bones and burned Pele’s jock
To save our leaaaaague!
Incoming USL club owner Bobby Jones:  Noob hates my teams’ name – boring Austin FC.
Jacksonville Armada owner Robert Palmer:  At least he didn’t think you were a reincarnated pop-rock arteeeeest.

(key change!)

Choir:  We are the fans, the concerned parties
So let’s keep singing
It’s a choice we’re making
It’s not just USL.
It takes both leagues to make a better day
Just wait and seeeeeee!

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches (6/5-7) – ConIFA World Cup leads the way

Noob will dole out the Midweek featured matches piecemeal, day by day.  The footyball, it teases you, Noobites.  Tantalizes.

To learn a bit more about ConIFA, scroll down the last couple three posts.  Or visit them at ConIFA.org.

Tuesday

  1. Karpatalja vs. Cascadia – ConIFA World Cup

Karpatalja didn’t initially qualify for the event, but ended up replacing late dropout Feldivek (from Romania, representing the Hungarian minority there).  Yet they won their Group, finishing ahead of good Northern Cypress and Abkhazia sides.

Karpatalja also represent a Hungarian minority, but in the Ukraine.  They are not ranked in the posted top thirteen.

RESULT:   Karpatalja   3-1     Cascadia isn’t done playing though, as teams which lose get moved down into what they call “placement matches”.   Nice that they may the knockout stage in their first-ever trip to WC.

Image result for Karpatalja football

 

 

Gotta be honest – the upright animal with the tongue out is creeping Noob out.

B.  Louisville FC vs. New England Revolution – U.S. Open Cup

‘Muricuh’s FA Cup has reached its Fourth Round, where the MLS big boys come out to play.

These are single Knockout matches, and USL’s reigning champ had the good fortune to draw their Major League team on their own pitch.  Noob thinks they’ll still be doing well to earn a draw at home over 90’+, send it to penalties.  The winner here takes on the winner of the New York Derby next — NYCFC vs. Red Bulls.

RESULT:   Louisville   3-2      Upset City!

Image result for Letter B playing

Number B has also come out to play.

Sneaky Number B — are you for the Cavs or Warriors?

 

 

Wedesnday

  1. New York Red Bulls vs. NYCFC – U.S. Open Cup

The return of the New York derby!  It’s quite possible one of these two will win the whole shebang.  They currently rank #4 and #B in the MLS Eastern Conferences.

NYRB had been on fire until a loss at New England Revolution in their last league match.  NYCYC have been more up and down of late, will need to keep their defense buttoned down to have a shot.  It’s been a bit suspect at times this year.

RESULT:   NYRB   4-0

  1. Houston Dynamo vs. NTX Rayados – U.S. Open Cup

Welcome back to the Track, NTX!   This is the one true remaining minnow left in the tournament, an amateur team out of the North Texas Premier League.

To get this far, NTX have beaten a couple of tier-four teams and one from the USL (the admittedly awful OKC energy).  Today, obviously, they take a big step up in competition.

Houston has lost two league matches in a row, and one to the woeful Impact from Montreal.  Still, the Rayados would be doing well to keep this within two goals.

RESULT:   HOU   5-0      NTX kept the match scoreless for the first half

 

Rayados celebrate their first goal against Wichita in the Third Round

  1. The Strongest vs. Jorge Wilstermann – Bolivia Premier

Es deja vú toda de neuvo.  The Apertura (first half-season) Final of home and away matches between these two ended in a 3-3 aggregate draw.  Instead of penalty kicks, they’re playing again!

This final Final match will be held at a neutral site, in Sucre.  JW were the stronger team (pun intended) during the regular season.  Hard not to see them as the favorite here.

RESULT:   JW   2-2  /  2-3  PK      Congrats to the champs!

  1. Johor Darul Ta’zim vs. Pahang – Malaysia Super League

A few days ago, we featured a 1-2 match from this league.  JDT were and are #1.  It was written here that then-#B Perak had been overachieving, and it is proving to be true.  It was also posted that Pahang were the real second-best team in the league, and now they’re there.  What Noobstradamus sees comes to pass, never doubt, heathen Noobites!

Still, no one scores on Johur.  They’re not losing at home to anyone.

RESULT:   JDT   1-0

Image result for noobstradamus

 

A Malaysian proverb says one should “not use an axe to embroider“.

I…lost my train of thought.  This doesn’t seem soccer-relevant now.  

 

Thursday

  1. USA vs. China – women’s friendly

‘Muricuh!!   #1!  USA!  Too many exclamation points!  The USWNT is already in for the 2019 WC by virtue of representing the host nation.

China are ranked #17 in the world, are about the 5th-best in Asia.  By finishing in the top three of the 2014 Asia Cup, they’ve already gained a berth for the final World Cup qualifying stage of the current version.  (Asia Cup is the WC qualifying determiner there.)   (9:00 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   USA   1-0

  1. Northern Cyprus vs. Padania – ConIFA World Cup

Semifinal action!  Northern Cyprus lambasted the host team – Barawa – 8-0 last round.  Padania topped Panjab 2-0.  Peruse posts from the last few days to learn more about this event, or hit ConIFA.org.

RESULT:   Northern Cyprus   3-2

Funny banana man in Northern Cypress restaurant is not worried about the #MeToo movement.  He’s gonna dance with whomever.

9.  Wales vs. Bosnia and Herzegovina – women’s World Cup qualification (UEFA)

This tournament is in its second Group Stage.  35 teams have been divided into seven pods of five each.  They will play double round-robins in each.  The Group winners make the WC, while the top four second-best finishers will have a playoff for one more berth.

Wales is FIFA-ranked #34.  They’re #B in their Group, just two points behind England with three matches to play.  B&H are #57, are far enough back that they cannot win the Group.  They could still make second, but it’s going to require quite the run.

RESULT:   Wales   1-0

  1. England vs. Costa Rica – friendly

#13 hosts #25 in the World as they both prepare for World Cup.  England’s national team hasn’t lost in nearly a year, riding the back of their defense.  Still, for some reason, many a pundit doesn’t think they’ll make it out of the Group Stage in Russia.

Costa Rica has recently beaten Scotland and Northern Ireland, but lost to Tunisia in between.   They’re kinda-sorta Noob’s team to cheer for with the U.S. not in it.  Muricuhns are so torn on whether or not to root for rival Mexico, so why not the next-best CONCACAF side?   (3:00 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   England   2-0

Image result for Leeds England weirdos

 

 

 

So long from Leeds, West Yorkshire, England!

‘10 to Track’ for Sat., 4/27 – from MLS and Liga MX to Europe and beyond, it’s a Noobstradamus-day!

Noobstradamus, did you hit the Sativa instead of the Indica?   It’s a tidal wave today of prognostication excellence (*cough cough*) from our resident ancient seer!

Here are the 10 most important games to track today, for us, the newish American fans.

  1. New England Revolution  vs Sporting Kansas City – MLS

KC has a five-point lead in the West, but the next two behind them have played two fewer games.   Things will tighten up. The Revs are in 4th in the East, a far sight better than last season.

Noob looks for the high-powered Kansas City side to score early and often.  New England’s defense is solid, but KC lead the entire league in goals made.       (7:30 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 6)

RESULT:   New England   1-0

Image result for noobstradamus

 

 

Why hate when I can prognosticate?

1-2 Kansas City is the today’s future.

 

B.    Orlando Pride vs Seattle Thorns- NWSL

Noobstradamus says 0-1, Seattle over Swanp City.  Down with bad urban planning!

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for noobstradamus

 

I foresee Number B replacing that archaic Number to in lists, thanks to this quest.  Archaic things, meh!

Wait, I’m archaic…

 

3.  Tigres vs. Monterrey – Liga MX

Both have qualified for the postseason Liguilla heading into this final regular season match.  But seeding is still very much in the air.  They are 4th and 3rd now, but either could jump to #B with a win tonight.

Tigres will try to keep the pace slow.  They can’t take Monterrey in a goal-fest.   Noobstradamus sees all, sees a 1-1 draw.  (8:00 PM, Univision)

RESULT:   2-2

4.  Inter Milan vs Juventus – Serie A

Juve is only a point up on #B Napoli.  Inter is in 5th, just outside the Champions League slots.  But they trail the next two teams up by just one in the table.  Juve are better on both sides of the ball, and loads better on offense.    (2:45 PM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:   Juve   2-3    Good LAWD!   Juve was watching their title slip away, down 2-1 with three minutes plus added time to go.  They scored twice more before 90′.

Image result for noobstradamus

 

 

Inter will run out of gas now and going forward.   0-1 Juve today

5.  Bayer Leverkusen vs Stuttgart – Bundesliga

Will the pressure get to Leverkusen?  They’re 4th, barely in a CL slot  they SHOULD handle 10th place Stuttgart.  (12:30 PM, FS1)

RESULT:   Stuttgart   0-1

Image result for noobstradamus

 

2-1 Leverkusen.  Stuttgart is German for “stuttering child”.  You don’t need other-worldly powers to see their going to lose.

The Management here:  Noobstra-dumbass doesn’t know German.

6.  Swansea vs Chelsea – English Premier

Four matches to go and 5th place Chelsea still trails #4, Noob-reviled Hotspur by five points in the table.

Meanwhile, Swansea are fighting for their Premier lives at the other end of the standings.  They’re only one slot above the Relegation line, though at least they have a four-point lead on the next club down.  They can’t score.  They have the best defense among the league’s worst teams, but that’s quite the qualifier.   (12:30 PM, Universo)

RESULT:   Chelsea   0-1

Image result for noobstradamus

 

1-3 Chelsea.

I also predict Hotspur will  be Relegated for being named for a historic traitor.

7.  Lyon vs Nantes – Ligue 1

Hiccup Watch match for #3 Lyon. France only gets three into CL nowadays   Pummeling #9 Nantes will give them relief.   Noobstradamus says Lyon 3-0.

RESULT:   Lyon   2-0

8.  Herediano vs Saprissa – Costa Rica Premier

The top two collide in the postseason!  Noobstradamus predicts concussions.  Ouch.

RESULT:   Herediano   1-0

9.  Sendai vs. Sapporo – J 1 League

The Management must be given his Japan-fix.   The league is just far enough in now for Noob to pay attention.

Noobstradamus has no score prediction, but prognosticates The Management will today bring up in conversation a culturally subversive animated show from there that features an office worker Red Panda that fights off existential ennui by performing in a death metal band at night.

Noob isn’t kidding.  It’s so disorienting, all I can do is figuratively projectile-vomit out number #10 – Reno and OKC in USL action.  Reno scores LOTS. They’ll win…14-3 today. Maybe.

RESULTS:   J1 League match ends 2-2;  Reno   2-0