Tag: San Jose Earthquakes

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Saturday (9/15) – the most footyball ever covered on Noob

“The ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game”.  Oh ho, Noob’s cheating today.

The list of the previews-proper are still ten   But we’re directly acknowledging three times as many Track-worthy matches today!

Gorge, Noobites.  Feeeast!!

  1. Portland Thorns vs. Seattle Reign – National Women’s Soccer League Playoffs

At last, the postseason!  These are the #B and #3 seeds of the four teams participating.

In their last match of the regular season, Portland beat Seattle to secure their runner-up status.  Their reward is getting to host today’s one-off.  There will be no return trip to Seattle.  The other two times they met in 2018, the matches were in Seattle, which won them both.

Portland is the more offensively-minded group by far, will look to push the pace hard.  The most likely names to see pairing up for scores are Lindsey Horan and Tobin Heath, second and first in league goals and assists, respectively.

For Seattle, their defensive player of the year Rebekah Scott will have her hands full.   She plays outside back, a position from which she can often feed their offensive threat, Megan Rapinoe.  Noob’s not sure she’ll be anything but pinned back on defense today though.   (3:00 PM EST, Lifetime)

RESULT:   Portland   2-1       Horan and Heath each scored.  

B.  FC Dallas vs. Columbus Crew – Major League Soccer

This is just one of three Track-worthy MLS matches on the day.  Noob’s highlighting this one for a couple reasons.

First – Dallas are still #1 in the Western Conference, having wrested the spot away from Kansas City midseason.  Surprising – their play has been incredibly spotty.  They just had a nice home win over rivals Houston last match, yet have lost twice to San Jose since August.  (The ‘Quakes can’t beat almost anyone else.  Ever.)  The offense and defense both come and go.

Second – how much longer will Noob get to type “Columbus Crew” without it being an historical reference?  Their ownership moving them to Austin is hardly a done deal, but it remains a likelihood.

As for their current season, they’re #4 in the East with plenty of table-space above and below.  They just got a big confidence boost taking down #3 NYCFC.  Noob wonders if they might night find today’s a trap game of sorts.    (8:00 PM, ESPN+)

Other MLS matches:   *Philadelphia Union vs. Montreal Impact – The East’s #5 and #6 fight to stay there, the conference’s final playoff spots;  *Vancouver Whitecaps vs. Seattle Sounders – the West’s #6 and #7, separated by one little point in the table.  Seattle have won eight straight.

Image result for bbb

 

Yes, Number B.  You got to feature three matches.

And so three of you.  Well-done.

  1. CF America vs. Monarcas Morelia – Liga MX

It warms the cockles of a Noob-heart to see Morelia struggling.   While I feel far more strongly anti-royalty with American-named clubs than Mexico, there’s still no kings and queens in N.A.  Foolishness!  Go, CFA!

Club America are in a four-way tie for 3rd place at nearly the halfway point here in the Apertura (first half-season).  They’re the strongest of them, too, in goal differential and INHO.  They’d been struggling a touch, but a trip to lowly Lobos BUAP was just what was needed last match (0-2 win).

Morelia hasn’t won in a month.  Their defense makes the sad.   (8:00 PM, Univision)

Other Mexican matches of note:   *Pumas UNAM vs. Tijuana  — in Liga MX Femenil, Pumas are #4 in their Group.  Top two from each will make the playoffs.  They’re in the mix, but the least of the best there.   Tijuana are in 6th;   Zacatecas vs. Atlante – second-division Ascenso MX #1 and #3.

RESULT:   CF America   2-1

Image result for soccernoob buap

 

 

Credit to Dan – the former Intern-o Inferno – for showing us just how lowly BUAP truly is.

  1. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur vs. Liverpool – English Premier League

Last year’s #3 and #4 face off.

Liverpool have won all four of their early matches this season, though the toughest team they’ve faced is probably Leicester (meh).   Hotspur thrashed Man Utd – on the road, no less – then turned right around and threw it away with a loss to Watford.  They’re both likely to be in the title chase for a while, contend for top-four finishes, Champions League berths.

Since it’s a new season, allow Noob to explain to less-tenured Noobites about the strikethrough.   Tottenham Hotspur is named for Harry “Hotspur” Percy.  He was an historic traitor, flipflopping multiple times with his loyalties.  He was a scalawag and ne’er-do-well and Noob will carry no truck with such!

Good thing that didn’t get weird at the end…   (7:30 AM, NBCSN)\

RESULT:   Liverpool   1-2

Image result for harry hotspur percy traitor

 

 

Shewsbury – the site of Percy’s death by arrow – is hallowed ground 

  1. 1 de Agosto vs. TP Mazembe – CAF Champions League

This is the first leg of a Quarterfinal tie.

Angola’s representative host first.   Their domestic league is on the rise, looks to jump from 17th to a top-10 spot in the African rankings next year.  TP Mazembe plays out of DR Congo’s top league, #3-best in Africa.  1dG would be doing well to get a draw at home.  To have a chance at advancing, they’ll have to.

Today’s other QF:   Esperance vs. Etoile du Sahel – Tunisia’s two best clubs face off.  They don’t keep them apart in the draws there I guess.  They’re both a lot better than the two featured teams above.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. FC Olexandria vs. Shakhtar Donetsk – Ukraine Premier

Ukraine’s top flight have climbed to #8 among domestic league in Europe.  Noobites should know something about this bunch.  We feature matches from their frequently.

And so, welcome to the Track, FCO!   Almost 100% sure this is the first time they’ve been featured.   They were mid-table all last season.  Seven matches into 2018-19, they’re #B.  But the current and historic #1 comes to town today to test their mettle.    Shakhtar average 2.5 goals a match, roughly.

Other top #1-#B UEFA matchups:  *Slovan Bratislava vs. Dunajska Streda — #1 hosts #B in what should be a shootout in Slovakia’s Super Liga;  Ferencvaros vs. Budapest Honved — #1 hosts #B in the Hungarian NB 1.  Honved will try and slow down the only team in the league averaging over two goals per match.

RESULT:   Donetsk   0-2

Image result for fc olexandria

 

 

 

No, FC Olexandria – Noob applauds YOU for being Track-worthy

  1. Stjarnan vs. Breioablik – Iceland FA Cup

Their league might not be even as highly-rated as the honorable mentions in Track match #6, but Noob’s always down for a Cup Final!

A question plaguing Noob is:  how much do these clubs care about the FA Cup?   It can be legitimately asked anywhere, at least by those of us who are truly noob.  Nowhere have I heard or read thy’re considered anything but a moderate to distant second in importance to the league title.

It’s especially relevant here, as Iceland’s Urvalsdeild league gets only one Champions League invite and these two are #B and #3.  Stjarnan, in fact, is just a point behind league-leaders Valur.  Will they play all starters in pursuit of this trophy, or save energy for the home stretch of their league season?

Today’s championship match is at the National Stadium in Reykjavik.  If they’re both playing full strength, Stjarnan have to be considered at last a 3:2 fave to win in regulation.

RESULT:   Stjarnan   0-0  /  4-1   pens

  1. Santa Gema vs. Independiente – Panama Football League

Noob’s been making a concerted effort here during the second year of this site to pay greater attention to all CONCACAF leagues.  And #1-#B matches shine like the sun.   This is one!

If the current pattern holds, this league is going to have one heckuva title race in 2018-19.   They’re just a few matches in, but good golly these teams end their matches in lots of draws!   Noob’s not sure if the league as a whole lacks offensive talent or if the general strategy employed there is defense.  Either way, they don’t see a ton of goals.

Saint Gema are the only undefeated team remaining, but have won just four of seven.  Independiente trail them by three points in the table.

RESULT:   Independiente    0-2       And we have a new #1!

The other #1-#B CONCACAF matchup:  *Fruta Conquerors vs. Guyana Defense Force – Guyana’s GFF Elite League – The Conquerors have an outrageous 48-5 GD.  Still, halfway through the season, they lead GDF by just five in the table.

Image result for pay attention soccer funny

 

Noob just said CONCACAF leagues are getting more attention here.  

Warning unwarranted.

  1. Kawasaki Frontale vs. Consadole Sapporo – Japan J1 League

The defending champs from Kawasaki are #B now, 2/3 of the way through the 2018 season.  Even so, they’re way off Hiroshima’s pace.

Sapporo were below mid-table last year, have improved mightily to be the current #4.  Last season, that would’ve been good enough to get them into the AFC Champions League.  Not this year.  Just the top three now.

Noob’s uncertain if the AFC is distributing more bids to lower-ranked countries’ leagues now, or if J1 League lost a slot due to a drop in confederation ranking.  Regardless, Sapporo need to play far better defense if they want to be in any postseason discussion.

RESULT:   Kawasaki   7-0    not a typo

Before we hit #10, Noob’s including some Honorable Mention matches.  Every one one of them involves two teams in the top quarter (or top three) of their leagues (at least as of five days ago), or there are specific playoff implications:

*USL – conference #2 Pittsburgh Riverhounds vs. #4 Louisville FC, plus #6 Swope Park Rangers vs. #9 Saint Louis FC;  Poland Ekstraklasa — Wisla Krakow vs. Lechia Gdansik was a #1 vs. #B when scouted a few days ago, but two teams which have played an extra match leapfrogged W.K.;  English Football Championship — #6 Bristol City and #3 Sheffield United would be in the second-divisions Promotion playoff tournament were the season over today.

Belgium First Division A — #B Genk vs. #3 Anderlecht;  Norway Eliteserien – #B FK Haugesund vs. #3 Brann;  Belarus Premier – #4 Shakhtyor Soligorsk vs. #3 Dinamo Minsk;  Slovenia Prva Liga — #B Aluminij vs. #3 Gorica;  Uruguay Primera – #B Nacional vs. #3 Montevideo Wanderers; two other Cup tournaments in early action include Portugal’s Taca de Liga and the Swiss FA Cup.

  1. Maldives vs. India – SAFF Championship

The Final!

Asia’s continental football confederation also has several sub-associations.  The South Asian Football Federation holds a Championship every other year.  It’s a standalone event for the current seven member nations, meaning it has no effect on qualifying for any other tournaments.

These are national teams that just aren’t going to see much of any success in most any other field of play.  Three of the seven are in the bottom ten in all Asia.  Two are the very bottom.  Our Finalists are the most-highly ranked in the world, just #150 and #96.  India would be even better, but.  You know.  Cricket.

RESULT:   Maldives   2-1    Upset city!

Image result for Dhaka weirdThey’ve been hosting this tournament Dhaka, Blangadesh.

Come back, Bear Grylls!

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – USWNT leads the way

The Midweek Edition Track finishes with two more matches for Thursday.

There’s not much in the way of preview for the matches proper.  But you’ll learn about two brand spanking new tournaments themselves.  Enough to get you through high-end water cooler-level chat.

Thursday

  1. Germany vs. France – UEFA Nations League

“Nations League.   Here I thought I was really starting to know club and national team football around the globe.   But I’ve never heard of this league!   You have failed all Noobites.  You are a scalawag, cretinous yahoo, ne’er-do-well.  You are declared outlaw!”

Outlaw as adjective originally meant living outside the law.  People could do anything to you with no consequences, including murdering you.  So why don’t we hold up and give ol’ Noober a chance to explain.

Perhaps I should’ve mentioned this tournament before, given you a heads up.  This is a new biennial tournament.  All 55 member teams of UEFA have been divided into four leagues, based on their UEFA rankings (as of pre-2018 World Cup Group Stage).  Those leagues, in turn, are subdivided into four smaller groups.  Within each Group, they’ll play standard home-and-away double-round robin format.

Example:   League A is the top 12 teams in UEFA.  The four Groups within League A are relatively even cross-sections in terms of ranking.

The Group Stage games are now through November.  The winners of each Group in League A will play for the Nations League championship.  That bracketed stage will be in June of next year, location TBD.

Leagues B, C, and D will not have their own bracketed championships.  Their journeys end with the Group matches.  However, the Group winners get Promoted to the next highest League for the next incarnation of this tournament in two years.  The poorest Group performers are Relegated in turn.

The Perceived Good:   This event is largely replacing intra-European “friendlies”, provide more competitive matches.  Also, this event will serve as another qualifying means for national teams to make the 2020 European Championships.  It’s an extra chance for smaller/weaker teams to perhaps get in.

The Critique:  This is an extra chance for smaller/weaker teams to qualify for the 2020 European Championships.

Noob’s not going to delve into the particulars of this event as qualifier for the Euros.  There are other sites for that.  The self-assigned job here is to make you aware of basics.  So go, be free!   Use your Google machine powers to learn finer details.  Noob will, too, in time.

Today’s Track’ed Match: 

Germany and defending World Cup champions France are UEFA-ranked 4th and 5th, respectively, as of today.   Noob phrases is that way because UEFA used the rankings as of right before World Cup Group Stage began to seed all the teams for this event.  These two were 1st and 5th-ranked at that time.

Either way it’s two of the best teams in the world.  Though yes, Germany struggled at WC.  Here stateside, we can watch it on Univision Deportes at 2:45 PM EST with great joy.

Hopefully this spares Noob a mob lynching, you rascally animals.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Dominica vs. Suriname – 2019-20 CONCACAF Nations League qualification

Yup!   This tournament is new, too.   It doesn’t truly start until next year.  This is a qualifying tournament.  As such, Noob will keep things even simpler about the whole thing for now.

The top six-ranked national teams in CONCACAF have already automatically qualified for actual Nations League next year.

34 of the 35 other member nations’ teams play in this qualification event (Guatemala are nawtee, suspended).  They are divided into four Pots, based on rankings.  Each team will play four matches, two home and two away.  Each team will play one match against a team from each Pot.

All the teams’ results will be in just one aggregate table.  The top six finishers will qualify for Nations League A, joining the six teams that auto-qualified, as mentioned earlier.  The other teams will be divided in half, into League B and League C.

(The CONCACAF Nations League is a qualifying event of its own, putting teams into something called CONCACAF Gold Cup, which in turn qualifies teams for the FIFA Confederations Cup.  Interestingly, the top ten finishers from this qualification event being played now automatically qualify for Gold Cup regardless of how they do in Nations League.  Oy veh.)

Today’s Track’ed Match:

These two are ranked 25th (Pot C) and 12th (Pot B) in CONCACAF.  They’re #177 and #153 in all FIFA.  Should be a pretty even matchup since is in Dominca.

The match is actually being held in Guadeloupe, not Dominica.  Curious.

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for Les Abymes

 

 

So long from Les Abymes, Point au Pitre, Guadeloupe!

 

Wednesday

  1. NYCFC vs. New England – Major League Soccer

NYCYC have won just once their last six outings.  They’re settling into the #3 seed in the East as the regular season approaches its final stretch.

New England now sit in 8th, five points out of the sixth and final playoff berth in their conference.  That they can still even smell the postseason as a mathematical possibility is a testament to how improved they’d appeared in the season’s first half.  They just got a draw at home against a solid Portland side, but that’s now nine straight matches and no victories.

NYCFC will be missing goal-scoring leader Ismael Tajouri-Shradi.   He’s on international duty this week, as are several of his club teammates.  He is Libyan by birth, but Noob presumes is with the Austrian national team now, as he holds citizenship there.   (7:00 PM EST, ESPN+)

RESULT:   Revs   0-1

Image result for football international duty funny

 

 

Speaking of international duty, did this mascot-guy just get vomited out after finally agreeing to go to Ninevah?

  1. Oaxaca vs. Morelia – Copa MX

Noobites can find a bit about the format below in the Tuesday Copa match mini-preview.

Guadalajara has already advanced as this Group’s winner, with ease.

Liga MX side Morelia lead the Ascenso’s Oaxaca by two points in the table.  Morelia only need a draw to finish #B in the table, but only a draw almost certainly still leaves them out of the next Round.  Even a win for Oaxaca probably leaves them among the bottom two Group runners-up and out of this tournament.

Both sides have been scuffling in their respective league seasons, sitting midtable.  Morelia likely takes this one by a goal on the road.   (8:00 PM, ESPN Deportes)

RESULT:   1-1      And with that, both teams are eliminated.

  1. Indy Eleven vs. NYRB II – United Soccer League

Former NASL-side Indy are tied for 5th in the East, two points up on NYRB.   The top eight from each conference make the Postseason.

Indy doesn’t score much, have stayed afloat with a lot of draws.  Red Bulls’ reserve squad have even more draws.  That’s surprising, given that they play such a wide-open style, eschewing defense almost entirely.

RESULT:   Indy   3-0       Evgeni Starikov with two goals, and Indy climbs to 4th place.

 

Is it just Noob, or does this look like an entrance to kinda nowhere?

  1. Internacional vs. Flamengo – Brazil Serie A

It’s #B and #3 in South America’s best domestic league!

Internacional trail only Gremio in defensive prowess, haven’t allowed a goal in seven consecutive matches.  That said, they’ve only achieved draws in their last two games.

Flamengo are more balanced.  They’re coming off a sleepy home loss to newly-promoted, weak Ceara.   (8:00 PM, GOL TV)

RESULT:   Internacional   2-1       The winners now lead the entire league, while Flamengo drops to 4th place.

Tuesday

  1. U.S.A. vs. Chile – international friendly

Déjà vu all over again.  They played a few days ago, are now back to battle today.  Noob guesses Chile have been training in – perhaps even with – the USWNT.  The Americans won the first one 3-0 in Carson (L.A.).   Tonight, they play in San Jose.

Fun Fact:  The San Jose Earthquakes played a friendly last night against Chile’s children’s Special Olympic side and lost 0-14.   SJ were not sandbagging, by all accounts.

Pardon the interruption, this is The Management.  I apologize on behalf of Noob.  We’re not even sure they have Special Olympics in Chile.  Said friendly did not occur. 

And if it had, a more likely score would be 1-14.  The ‘Quakes wouldn’t get shut out completely at home.

*gasp*    The Management, throwing shade on San Jose!  Is Noob dreaming?   (10:00 PM EST, ESPN2)

RESULT:   USA   4-0       Carli Lloyd with a pair in the second half

B.  Chicago Red Stars vs. Sky Blue FC – National Women’s Soccer League

Three of the four Playoff teams are set.  Two regular season matches to go for #4 Chicago.   They’re two points up on Utah and Houston.

One of Noob’s primary sources indicates Houston is already eliminated though.  That feels unlikely, even given head-to-heads are the first tiebreaking criterion.

And since they’re playing winless Sky Blue, a Chicago result and postseason berth seem likely.

Aaaaand then they’ll get slaughtered by the world’s best women’s team, North Carolina Courage in the Playoffs.

RESULT:   Chicago   5-0       Alyssa Mautz with the first two goals

Image result for letter B horror

 

 

Number B, expressing the carnage that awaits Chicago or Utah in the postseason.

  1. Zacatecas vs. Queretaro – Copa MX

They’re also down to the last match in each of the three-team Groups in this opening stage of the Apertura (first half-season) Copa in Mexico.  All nine winners will advance, plus seven of the runners-up.

Second-division Clausura regular season champs Zacatecas trail Queretaro and Leon by three points.  So Los Mineros have to win today just to get tiebreakers into it.  Leon has played all their matches already, so three-way tie.  Go, Minnows!

Zacatecas are having trouble scoring, even as they win games so far this year in Ascenso MX.  Queretaro should be at least a one-goal favorite on the road today.  They’re near the top of the Liga MX table themselves.

RESULT:   Queretaro   1-2

  1. Netherlands vs. Norway – UEFA women’s World Cup qualification

The Group Stage is down to its last matches here, too.  The winners of all seven qualify for 2019 WC.  The four best runners-up will have a Playoff for one more berth.

In Group 3, these are your top two and no one else can catch them.  They’ve outscored opponents 21-0 and 0-3 and are FIFA-ranked #9 and #14, respectively.  Nothing appears guaranteed for whichever team finishes #B in the group.

Now, check out this mockumentary done by Norwegian women’s national team.  I’m sure is the current team, but regardless, this is priceless.

RESULT:   Norway   2-1     had the home/away mixed up

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Relegation Monday (8/13) – getting to know teams facing The Drop

Noob has you Monday blahs-cure.  Embrace the darkness!

Nearly all today’s featured matches involve teams on the verge of being Relegated from their current league.  Let’s get to know them before they fade into the mist.

Remember you can check back for Results on Noob’s Tracks, too.

Oh, and please consider following Noob on Twitter:  @SoccerNoobUSA

Now, two matches of non-sadness!

  1. USC Landhaus Vienna vs. BIIK Kazygurt – UEFA women’s Champions League

The “Qualifying Round” is a Group affair.  40 clubs are divided into pods of four each.  Each group plays a single round robin, out of which the winners and two best-performing runners-up advance to the Knockout Stage.

There are ton of matches today.  Noob’s learning curve on the women’s side of the game has been even more difficult than for the men’s, so I can’t tell you much about the clubs.  Noob does recognize Kazygurt – a Kazakh club – from last year’s event as one that performed very well.  They are 2-0-0 so far in this event, have qualified to advance already.

Landhaus qualified by finishing #B in Austria’s top flite, the Frauenliga.  They are 1-0-1, 3rd place in the Group.  They’re tied in points in the table with a Greek Club, but down a couple on goal-differential.  This Group’s matches are all in Latvia.

RESULT:   Kazygurt   0-2

B.  Al Ahly vs. Al Nejmeh – Arab Club Champions Cup

This is a stand-alone event, meaning it doesn’t play a direct role in qualification to other international events.  It’s run annually, this being its 28th season.  Currently, clubs from 20 Arab nations participate.  Half are from Asia, half from Africa.

After to very short qualification rounds, they are down to 32 clubs.  This First Round, each pair of teams are playing two-legged ties.

Al Nejmeh is a Lebanese team which finished 3rd in their last complete league season.  They had to play in the second of the qualification rounds.   Now they will get smushed by Africa’s best club.  Noob thinks this will be a rout, Al Ahly by 3+ goals.

So this individual match by itself isn’t so much “important” to us, but Noob thinks it’s important and fun to knows the event is happening at all.  I’d never heard of it before.

بَاء‎     Fun Fact:  That’s pronounced like a Number B in Arabic.  Or maybe more like ‘B + long A sound’.  Noob is noob on many topics.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. 1. FC Cologne vs. Union Berlin – 2. Bundesliga

Noob starts us of on our Relegation tour today in a different way than before.   This league is just starting, so no team is in any kind of danger yet.  Rather, FC Cologne were demoted after a miserable season in the top league last year.

On paper, Noob would make Union Berlin a full-goal underdog today.  But it’s so hard to know if a team like Cologne is in position and spending money to try and climb right back up, or cutting costs and willing to leave with any sort of finish this season.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for 1. FC koln funny

 

 

Disturbing Fact:  If that logo was a movie scene, it might not make the rated-R cut…

  1. Norrkoping vs. Hammarby – Sweden Allsvenskanliga

Now we jump into league matches, though this first is not a Drop Zone match.  These two are #4 and #B in UEFA’s 22nd-ranked league.  Hey, they’re playing.

Norrkoping is eight points out of 1st and the league’s only Champions League invitation.  They’re not playing like they’re going make a push the last couple matches.  Meanwhile. Hammarby trail AIK by just two, and have played one less match than them.   They’ve also won three straight.  The teams play about the same defense, but Hammarby have the offense to pull off an important road win today.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Trellesborg vs. Sundsvall – Sweden Allsvenkanliga

And now, the Swedish sadness!  Noob saved you a box of tissues after being here last week, Trellesborg.

The bottom two from this league will get automatically Dropped.  Trellesborg are in second-to-last, four points from daylight, which even still might only mean having to play in a Relegation Playoff match with a second division team for the right to stay up.  Noob thinks they’re a goal underdog to their midtable guests today.

RESULT:   Sundsvall   1-6

Image result for Kofi Sarkodie San JoseFun Fact:  Trellesborg have an American  defender on their roster — Kofi Sarkodie.  Prior to this year, he most recently played for MLS’ San Jose Earthquakes.

  1. Union Comercio vs. Melgar – Peru Premier

Here’s an intriguing matchup.  Peru’s Premier plays three separate seasons per year.  The worst two from the aggregate of all three will get The Boot.

Here near the end second season, they’re actually 10th of 18 clubs.  But they were far and away the worst club during the first season, and still sit in last place in that aggregate table.  At home today, Noob thinks they’re in even match against Melgar.  They still can’t score, but at least now they’re preventing the other teams from doing so at will.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. 3 de Febrero vs. Cerro Porteño – Paraguay Premier

3dF fans know they’re rooting for a second-tier club.  They were just promoted this season and they’re going right back down– deep in last place in the year’s aggregate table.  C.P. finished #B in the recently-concluded Apertura, so this could be ugly today.

RESULT:   CP   1-3

Image result for don johnson miami vice Ciudad del Este

 

 

3dF’s home of Ciudad del Este was a filming location for “Miami Vice”.

  1. Merreikh Nyala vs. Kober – Sudan Premier

Sudan’s is the 7th-ranked league in Africa, though no thanks to these two sad sacks.

Late in the season, this one breaks up into Championship and Relegation divisions.  Nyala was midtable, but now are dead last in that second subdivision.  Kober was a midtable team as well, but they have been playing well enough to stay above the Cut Line.  A whopping four teams will get moved down after everything is done.

RESULT:   Kober   0-1

Image result for kofi annan

 

Not Exactly FUN Fact:   In Nyala, former U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan cofounded The Amel Center — a place of rehab and treatment for torture victims.

(How about that, two Kofi’s in one Track!)

 

  1. PSIS vs. Bhayangkara – Indonesia Liga 1

Liga 1 here is 27th-ranked in Asia, putting it a little below average.

PSIS are nowhere near average, sitting in second-to-last.  They’re three points from daylight, but have to leapfrog two teams, as three will be sent down.  They’re defense looks average on paper, but it’s really due to they just don’t try playing much offense.  Their guests today are midtable folk.

Fun Fact:   PSIS are based in Semarang, the capital of the province of Central Java.

RESULT:   Bhyangkara   1-2

  1. Jonkopings Sodra vs. Varnamo – Sweden Superettan

More Sweden?   Understandable.  Noob misses the technical support and stylings for Dan the former Intern-o Inferno, too.  Hopefully once he settles into his new entry-level role at his dream organization – the SvFF, Sweden’s women’s professional soccer org – he’ll check in with us.  Buuhhhhht Noob thinks he might really be a spy, so maybe not.  Time will tell.

This is Sweden’s second division, from which to will get run out.  Last-place Varnamo must be Swedish for “make the football sad”.  Then again, Noob studied Spanish on and off throughout his school and university years.  Me gusta juveos muchos en mis pantalones.  Amirite or amirite?  J.S. are meh.

RESULT:   Varnamo   1-3      It’s a Relegation Monday Miracle!

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So long from Noob and fictional lovers Per and Kersti, at the Apladalen in Varnamo!

’10 to Track’ Weekend Edition (6/23-24) soccer matches – World Cup, Isle of Sodor Cup, MLS, NWSL y mas!

Join Noob for ten of the most important soccer matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game.  And for my on-site, seemingly exclusive online coverage of the inaugural Isle of Sodor Cup!

Saturday

  1. South Korea vs. Mexico – FIFA World Cup

South Korea lost their first match to Sweden here in Group, while Mexico stunned Germany 1-0.  They are ranked 57th and 15th in the world, respectively.

South Korea have a central midfielder who’s been playing for English Premier club Swansea City –Ki Sung-yeung.  Mexico may well decide to attack more from the edges so he’s not such a factor.

Mexico’s goal in Game One game from Hirving Lozano.  Can he strike again?

There you have it, Noobites!   Snack-sized preview to get you at least through water cooler chat.  noob will not have hurt feelings if you know go in search of even deeper pre-game analysis.  I’m going to certainly.  We learn, we grow.   (11:00 AM Eastern, Fox, Telemundo)

RESULT:   1-2   Mexico      No one is quite through or quite out yet, but these two are nearly so

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B.  New York Red Bulls vs. FC Dallas – MLS

Dallas have pulled into a tie for 1st place in the West with Kansas City.  Their five-match win streak is surely impressive.  It’s worth noting that the road wins have come against softer teams, because NYRB ain’t one.

Red Bulls bring the heat like anyone outside of Atlanta Utd.  They’re in 4th in the Eastern Conference, and have played one to three matches fewer than all the clubs ahead of them.  It’s strange.  They struggle some against teams from their region (except NYCFC), lay waste to most others.  If you like trends, put your money on the home side today.   (6:00 PM, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Red Bulls   3-0

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Number B, you are so money.

  1. LAFC vs. Columbus Crew – MLS

Our MLS undercard is hardly that as the conferences’ #3’s face off.

LAFC’s one recent league win was against league lowbies San Jose, and they needed two goals in the 90’ to achieve that much (3-4).

Columbus haven’t won since May, yet have mostly earned draws since that time to keep them well afloat in the table.  Their superb goalkeeping was bound to come back to earth a little after an amazing spring stretch. Can Zach Steffen recapture the magic?   (10:30 PM, ESPN+)

  1. Seattle Reign vs. North Caroline Courage – NWSL

It’s #B versus #1!   That will always have a certain luster.  Yet make no mistake, Seattle is a big underdog at home to the locomotive that is NCC.  The league’s only about a dozen games in and the Courage already lead by 11 points in the table.

Still, Seattle hasn’t conceded a goal in three straight matches, and NCC actually let lowly Houston draw with them their last match.

RESULT:   Courage   1-4

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Umm…thanks, Chuck!

  1. Junction & Sheds vs. Killdane – Isle of Sodor Cup

Junction & Sheds (Knapford) aren’t expected to be quite as strong as Knapford Town in the inaugural IoS Premier League coming in a few months, but they’ll be plenty competitive.  They’re one of three teams here in Group G with three points, so simply getting a draw today would hardly guarantee them advancement to the Knockout Round.

Killdane already knocked of a future Premier side in Ulfstead, so they won’t be intimidated.  Perhaps they should be though.  J&S won that first match of theirs by a Cup-largest margin of seven goals (1-8).  Killdane are expected to be a midtable side in the Second Division.

RESULT:   Killdane   1-5!     All of Group G is knotted up at three points apiece with just a match to go each.

Sunday

  1. England vs. Panama – FIFA World Cup

#55 FIFA-ranked Panama needs at least a draw to stay alive in Group G.  A win would guarantee #12 England advancement to the Knockout Round, though they’d need a big one to pass Denmark on goal differential for the Group lead.

England had a sensational first half against Tunisia, likely should’ve won by more than 1-2 as they did.   In all recent major tournaments, they struggle early and often, so “The Three Lions” are thrilled to have a W already.

Panama played a very, very physical style against Belgium, leaving things tied 0-0 at the half before Belgium solved them for a 3-0 win.  England should handle them, but this will be a different challenge presented.

Oh, and England’s coach dislocated his shoulder somehow.   And there you have it!  Mini-preview to get you through water cooler chat-level convo for tomorrow’s biggest WC match.  Now go, be free!  Explore more in-depth pregame schtuff if you are so inclined.  Noob will.  We’re all learning.   8:00 AM Eastern, FS1, Telemundo)

RESULT:   England   6-1

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  1. Atlanta United vs. Portland Timbers – MLS

Atlanta are perhaps the best team in all the league, and currently sit atop the Eastern Conference.  There can be little doubt Portland are the hottest team.  They had a rough start to 2018, but are now unbeaten in ten straight and are 6th in the West.

It’s the defense that’s got both clubs in playoff slots in the table.  The back lines are key for both sides.  Neither goalkeeper is in the top ten in saves, but ATL’s Brad Guzan has more in today’s matchup.  He played nine seasons in the English Premier League.  Can he keep a clean sheet today?   (4:30 PM, Fox)

RESULT:   1-1

  1. Kirk Ronan vs. Dryaw – Isle of Sodor Cup

Cabalnoo lead Group B, stunningly, are the only one of the four with a win.  All others have ties here, so if either can win this match outright today, we have a real race on our hands.

Dryaw had a weird, scoreless match with Norramby in their first and only match so far.  Defense isn’t a very Sudric thing in football.  Even given that, the ten goals Kirk Ronan conceded against Cabalnoo still has our heads shaking.  Perhaps at home the larger Churchmen club can right things.

RESULT:   Kirk Ronan   4-3

Image result for unique church isle of man

 

Eeriest B&B in the world might be the original Ronan church (“kirk”) where Noob is staying.

  1. Kairat Almaty vs. Astana – Kazakhstan Premier

#B versus #1!   And in a way it’s even tighter.  Kairat Almaty are only five points behind the traditional league power and they’ve played two fewer games.  More, they’ve only lost once.  Astana has already taken two L’s.

Still, Noob’s not ready to call this one for the home team.  Astana would feel fine about a draw and can control the ball enough to get it.

RESULT:   Astana   1-2

  1. BATE Borisov vs. Shakhtyor Soligorsk – Belarus Premier

BATE is the historic great from this domestic lead, and they’re #1 again now.  But #4 Soligorsk have the best defense in the league.  BATE have to be favored, especially at home – and with the best offense to boot.  Still, this could end up the surprise upset of leagues today.

RESULT:   0-0

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If Noob weren’t in Kirk Ronan, Sodor for the Cup, I’d be saying, “So long from beautiful Barysaw, Belarus!”

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Wednesday (5/16) – MLS and Champions Leagues-ness lead!

‘Tis a strange T2T today.  OK, strange in a different way than usual.  Though it’s strange in the usual way, too…

The American portion of the ‘ten most important matches for us – the newish American fans of the global game’ aren’t chock full of the most high-end squads.  Still, we track and we learn the breadth of our local game!

The European and rest of the world-matches, weh-heh-hell, they’re quite the basket of goodies-  let’s gorge!

  1. Marseille vs. Atletico Madrid – Europa League

The Final!   And while it’s not in Marseille, it is in France (Lyon).  The winner gets a shiny trophy, and even better, an automatic invitation to the next Champions League.   (2:45 PM Eastern, FS1)

Noobstradamus Sees:   …that the Spanish club gets better experience playing in a deeper league.  They’ll cruise today, 1-3, even on French soil.

RESULT:   Atleti   0-3

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Even Marseille fans in the French soil will be upset.

B.  Vancouver Whitecaps vs. San Jose Earthquakes – MLS

Vancouver are in 5th place, SJ -10th.  Top six in each conference will make the playoffs, though that’s a ways off.

San Jose just got off a three-game losing skid, beating Minnesota Utd. on the road.  Vancouver, meanwhile, have been moving the wrong direction in the table since a reasonably nice start to the season.   (10:30 PM, NBA League Pass 6)

Noobstradamus Sees:   …the ‘Quakes keeping Toronto’s star from Sierra Leone – Kei Kamara – in check, getting an 0-1 road upset!

RESULT:   2-2     My prognostication powers are not supposed to be for evil!  I tweeted the MLS After Dark pod guys/’Quakes fans when SJ led 1-2.   The game was immediately tied again.

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My vision also shows me the MLS After Dark pod duo will treat themselves to magnificently aged whiskey after the S.J. victory.

  1. Bethlehem Steel vs. New York Red Bulls II – USL

The top eight from each conference in the U.S. second division league makes the post season.  NY Red Bulls are 6th and should climb if their offense and goal differential continue as they are.

13th-place Bethlehem are not at all bad themselves, but the Eastern Conference is by far the tougher this season.

Noobstradamus Sees:   NYRB 1-2

RESULT:   Bethlehem   3-0

  1. Atlanta United II vs. Toronto II – USL

For as awesome as second-year MLS club Atlanta have been, their reserve team has sure been abysmal.  Yet they should be favored over winless Toronto II.  They haven’t even averaged a goal every other game.  These two are at the bottom of the East.

Noobstradamus Sees:   Surprisingly – goals!  2-2

RESULT:   ATL2   5-4    Many goals!

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Surprise!…

  1. Seacoast United Phantoms vs. Elm City Express – U.S. Open Cup

This is the Second Round of America’s FA Cup.  At this stage, USL clubs enter the competition.  To this point, Local Qualifying teams, and fourth-tier teams from PDL and NPSL have been vying.  The match Noob opt to feature today Is the only one from two dozen today that doesn’t feature a USL club.

Seacoast are officially from New Hampshire (“seacoast”, really?) but play their home games in Massachusetts.  They won the 1017 Northeast Division of the PDL.  Elm City entered the NPSL last year and one the whole shebang!  They play on Yale University’s campus.

Noobstradamus Sees:   …that Elm City won the first match on the road, while it took the Phantoms penalties to advance on their own pitch.   Express 0-2.

RESULT:   Elm City   0-2     Soothsaying success!

  1. Flamengo vs. Emelec – Copa Libertadores

South America’s version of Champions League is close to completing its Group Stage.  Four teams are in each Group, top two move on to the Knockout Round.

Ecuadorian Emelec – the country’s top entrant – are in last.  They probably need to win both their remaining games to get to #B.  Flamengo are the 5th-best entry from Brazil.

Noobstradamus Sees:   …that Flamengo need to win out to possibly catch #1 River Plate out of Argentina.  They win in a rout today, 4-0.

RESULT:   Flamengo   2-0

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Knock-knock.  Who’s there?

Emelec.  Until they’re eliminated.

  1. Shanghai SIPG vs. Kashima Antlers – AFC Champions League

This is the Round of 16 in Asia’s CL.  Each of these clubs finished #B in their domestic leagues last year.  Kashima won the first match of this two-legged tie big, 3-1.

Noobstrdamus Sees:  Kashima have too much offense for SIPG to make up this kind of deficit.  2-2 today.

RESULT:   SIPG   2-1     Kashima advances!

  1. Suwon Bluewings vs. Ulsan Hyundai – AFC Champions League

These are the 3rd and 4th-place clubs from South Korea’s K1 League last year.  Ulsan won the first leg 1-0.

Noobstrdamus Sees:   Ulsan have been very average this season, and can’t score easily.  Suwon can and will, winning 2-0 today to advance.

RESULT:   Suwon   2-0   More success for my prognostication!

Image result for ulsan hyundai fc funny

 

 

What?

  1. Etoile du Sahel vs. Zesco United – CAF Champions League

The tournament is only a match or two in for everyone.  Africa’s CL, too, starts with Groups of four, with the top two finishers moving on to the Knockout Stage.

Tunisian EdS are finished #B last season in Africa’s best league not named Egyptian Premier.  Zesco won the last Zambian top-flight league title.

Noobstrdamus Sees:   Zambia’s league is barely ranked top-10.  Noob’s not convinced there’s tons of parity in Africa.  Etoile wins 2-0.

RESULT:   Etoile   2-1

  1. AEK Larnaca vs. Apollon Limassol – Cypriot Cup

Let’s end the Track today with a Final!  It will be played at a neutral site, Cyprus’ biggest stadium, in Nicosia.  These two are #3 and #B in this year’s First Division.

Noobstrdamus Sees:   that despite not being in 1st currently, Apollon Limassol have only lost once all season.  Larnaca just don’t have the defensive chops to stay in it today.  1-3 Apollon Limassol.

RESULT:   Larnaca   2-1    Congrats to the Cup winners!

Image result for Nicosia funny

 

So long from Loufa Fun Park, Nicosia!

Will Noob enter the giant chicken?

Need you ask?

 

Ten to Track (8/9/2017)

1. Sporting Kansas City vs. San Jose Earthquakes – U.S. Open Cup

It’s not clear to me how seriously teams take this event since it’s during the MLS regular season. I suspect they care more than European teams do over their Super Cups.

B. Juarez vs. Guadalajara – Copa MX (group stage)

Juarez finished 4th in the tier two Ascenso MX last season (Well, half season. More on that another time.). They’ve probably got a lot more than they can handle in last season’s Liga MX 5th place side. But Juarez gets to host, so fun to see if this minnow can swim.

I know they call smaller league teams minnows in England. I wonder if it’s used in Mexico. “Pececillos”. Let’s practice.

“Por que tengo pececillos in mis pantalones?” *nod*

Excelente.

3. Palmeiras vs. Barcelona SC – Copa Libertadores

Most competitive-looking of the Round of 16 games slated for today.

4. Colchester United FC vs. Aston Villa – EFL Cup

Colchester plays in League Two, three levels off Premiere. The Noob thinks they reside in the professional dregs because of their crappy nickname – “the U’s”. They were or are also The Eagles, and their badge actually has a Roman eagle standard. Infinitely cooler.

Image result for roman eagle standard

[Actual photo preceding The Battle of Teuteborg Forest]

The Noob loves his history.

5. Vissel Kobe vs. Kashima Antlers – J-League

The Management, as we’ve learned previously, is a big Japanophile. The Noob is afeared of mighty retribution if he fails to Track a J-League game and one or more is available. His wrath may be swift and terrible!

Maybe we can crowdfund a gift certificate to a soapland for The Management’s trip to Land of the Rising Sun.

6. Honduras Progreso vs. Chorrillo – CONCACAF League (group stage)

Count thy blessings, Panamanian Chorrillo team. You’re only in this thing because The National Football Federation of Guatemala was suspended from all international competitions over political interference of some kind by your actual government.

Oh and leave Belize alone.  American Realtors have 6% to keep earning.

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7. Ludogorets Razgrad vs. Botev Plovdiv – Bulgairan Super Cup

You can’t end so many words in V, Bulgarian Soccer! Learn you some American.

8. APOEL Nicosia vs. Apollon Limassol – Cypriot Super Cup

I -think- this in @ Nicosia. I blame Turkey for interfering, as usual in Cyprus.

9. Unversidad de Catolica vs. Talca – Copa Chile (Round of 16)

If you don’t think the Noob likes writing “Cope Chile”, you don’t know me. Of course, I don’t know me. I’m so tired all the time.

Night/overnight job.

Kindergartner daughter.

Severe sleep apnea.

What is this place? Where are my pants? Did I have a good time?

10. Toronto FC II vs. Charlotte Independence – USL

Because American Tier Two soccer r00ls. And Canadia.