Tag: Sports Illustrated

Sodor Championship match postponed after cows let loose in support of Sardinian milk protest

Feburary 9 -Toryreck, Sodor

The Championship League match between Toryreck and Cabalnoo slated for Sunday, Feb. 10 has been postponed until Monday night (6:45 PM local time).

This rescheduling is, of course, contingent upon Farmer Skillicorn being willing to rustle up his rampaging dairy cows.  Again.

Skillicorn operates the biggest dairy on the Isle.  Whenever there’s a milk protest somewhere in the world, he shows solidarity by letting his massive herd of cows loose on the local village.  Players and fans alike stay indoors for safety, praying to whatever god they believe in.  So what was the catalyst this time?

Image result for angry dairy farmer

 

“I’m John Skillicorn, and I approve of this message of bovine terror.”

 

Over in Italy, Sardinian dairy farmers surrounded Cagliari FC’s training facility today.  Most players locked themselves inside.  The prevailing thought is the farmers just wanted Cagliari to show their support by boycotting their Sunday match with AC Milan.  Milk prices in Italy had plummeted in recent days.

[Click here for the “Sports Illustrated” coverage of the Serie A story.]

Two players participated in kicking over milk barrels.  The team’s flight to Milan was delayed, but that match will go on as scheduled tomorrow.

As for Toryreck vs. Cabalnoo — it’s on for Monday.  Image result for cows on soccer field

That’s provided Skillicorn doesn’t just move the cows over onto the local pitch.  Again.

 

Isle of Sodor Premier League – Matchday 24 – Feature: #1 Dryaw FC vs #2 Peel Godred

The New England Cheatriots won Superb Owl LIII 13-3 Sunday. Boring.  Image result for cheatriots

Isle of Sodor Premier League had it’s own #1-2 matchup Sunday, with host Dryaw FC routing Peel Godred by that same score. No snoozefest on this pitch! The “Reverends” of Dryaw take a far more decisive lead of five points in the table now.

[Check back for a new post Wed. or Thurs. for updated table and all the weekend’s results!]

A dampish pitch did nothing to slow offense today. Little does on Sodor, of course, as hard defense is considered uncouth and things like slide tackles practically forbidden as an unwritten rule. Striker Bill Butzkopfski Image result for fat soccer player in red (left) found the back of the net early and often, tallying five scores before being subbed out in the 70′. Al Britt assisted on a pair of those and two other scores from his midfield position.

For Peel, Glen Onchan nabbed a goal and an assist from the right wing. Goalkeeper Ray Harmer had a much tougher day, coming off his line too early and too often, committing two own-goals.

A MOMENT OF SILENCE

— was held  just before kickoff in all matches on Sodor.

The English Premier match between Everton and Wolves the day before featured a black cat running around the pitch – uncatchable, free (courtesy of S.I.) – in the second half.

A chapter of brief but terrible Sudric history ended just 20 years ago.   Everyone was reminded of the horrible experiments run in a dark corner of the Isle:   Live cats forced to play indoor soccer with AI robot soccer cats.   Not sound so terrible as to warrant moment of silence?  Here’s the excruciating footage.   Viewer advisory.