Tag: USL

Ten to Track (8/10/2017)

Bury vs. Sunderland  – EFL Cup

The only game for this event this date. Bury is a League One (3rd tier) club from the Greater Manchester area. Sunderland got demoted to The Championship (2nd tier league) by finishing dead last in the Premiere.

The traditional dish of Bury is black pudding. Sounds tasty until one learns that isn’t a dessert.

Image result for recipe for black pudding sausagePork blood?  So, so treyfa.

Tulsa Roughnecks FC vs. Saint Louis FC   – United Soccer League

Tulsa is just two spots out of the playoffs. Saint Louis is not good and best forgotten. That goes for the soccer team, too.  Ohsnap.

Image result for Saint Louis sucks    Interwebs, you so cray-cray.

Arabe Unido vs. Central FC  – CONCACAF League (Round of 16)

Panamanian vs. Trinidadian…Tobagonian-? sides.  Both demonyms are accurate, yet that’s unhelpful to me.

The group stage is over and the bracketed portion of the even is begin.   Home and away two-legged ties for each pairing.  Winner gets a slot in the next federation Champions League.  Arabe leads 2-1 on aggregate.

Alajuense vs. Olimpia  – CONCACAF League (Round of 16)

Costa Rican vs. Honduran sides. Olimpia leads 2-0 on aggregate.

Belmopan vs. Walter Ferretti –  CONCACAF League (Round of 16)

Footballdatabase.com ranks club teams from all over the world. I don’t know if Belizian side Belmopan doesn’t get rated because they just don’t play enough or at all internationally, or if they just stink like an oyster in the sun. Their Nicuraguan counterpart here leads 4-1 on aggregate.

Botafogo vs. Nacional –  Copa Libertadores (Round of 16)

Brazilian vs. Uruguayan sides. Botafogo leads 1-0 on aggregate. This should be the most competitive of these three Copa matches Noob is Tracking for this date.

San Lorenzo vs. Emelec  – Copa Libertadores (Round of 16)

Noob asked The Management (and asks you, comments encouraged) whether “Emelec” sounds most like a South American soccer club name, baby formula brand, or crabs-treating ointment.

The Management: “It’s a floor wax and a dessert topping!”

Santos FC vs. Paranaense  – Copa Libertadores (Round of 16)

Argentinian vs. Ecuadorian sides. The Noob is not getting overly into the prediction game this soon, but though Santos only leads 3-2 on aggregate, this should be the Copa game with best chance of being a blowout this date.  Santos should dominate.

Albirex Niigata vs. Tampines Rovers  – Singapore Cup (quarterfinal)

Albirex is essentially a reserve team for the Japanese J-League club of the same name. Funny to me that this squad dominates while the parent club is mired in last place.

Esteghlal vs. Tractor Sazi Tabriz  – Persian Gulf Pro League

This league, I believe, is all Iranian clubs. The 2017 season is just starting, but pits last season’s #2 and #3 sides against one another. I also recognize Esteghlal from the last Asian Football Championships, Asia’s version of Europe’s Champions League.

Ten to Track (8/9/2017)

1. Sporting Kansas City vs. San Jose Earthquakes – U.S. Open Cup

It’s not clear to me how seriously teams take this event since it’s during the MLS regular season. I suspect they care more than European teams do over their Super Cups.

B. Juarez vs. Guadalajara – Copa MX (group stage)

Juarez finished 4th in the tier two Ascenso MX last season (Well, half season. More on that another time.). They’ve probably got a lot more than they can handle in last season’s Liga MX 5th place side. But Juarez gets to host, so fun to see if this minnow can swim.

I know they call smaller league teams minnows in England. I wonder if it’s used in Mexico. “Pececillos”. Let’s practice.

“Por que tengo pececillos in mis pantalones?” *nod*

Excelente.

3. Palmeiras vs. Barcelona SC – Copa Libertadores

Most competitive-looking of the Round of 16 games slated for today.

4. Colchester United FC vs. Aston Villa – EFL Cup

Colchester plays in League Two, three levels off Premiere. The Noob thinks they reside in the professional dregs because of their crappy nickname – “the U’s”. They were or are also The Eagles, and their badge actually has a Roman eagle standard. Infinitely cooler.

Image result for roman eagle standard

[Actual photo preceding The Battle of Teuteborg Forest]

The Noob loves his history.

5. Vissel Kobe vs. Kashima Antlers – J-League

The Management, as we’ve learned previously, is a big Japanophile. The Noob is afeared of mighty retribution if he fails to Track a J-League game and one or more is available. His wrath may be swift and terrible!

Maybe we can crowdfund a gift certificate to a soapland for The Management’s trip to Land of the Rising Sun.

6. Honduras Progreso vs. Chorrillo – CONCACAF League (group stage)

Count thy blessings, Panamanian Chorrillo team. You’re only in this thing because The National Football Federation of Guatemala was suspended from all international competitions over political interference of some kind by your actual government.

Oh and leave Belize alone.  American Realtors have 6% to keep earning.

Image result for belize independence

 

7. Ludogorets Razgrad vs. Botev Plovdiv – Bulgairan Super Cup

You can’t end so many words in V, Bulgarian Soccer! Learn you some American.

8. APOEL Nicosia vs. Apollon Limassol – Cypriot Super Cup

I -think- this in @ Nicosia. I blame Turkey for interfering, as usual in Cyprus.

9. Unversidad de Catolica vs. Talca – Copa Chile (Round of 16)

If you don’t think the Noob likes writing “Cope Chile”, you don’t know me. Of course, I don’t know me. I’m so tired all the time.

Night/overnight job.

Kindergartner daughter.

Severe sleep apnea.

What is this place? Where are my pants? Did I have a good time?

10. Toronto FC II vs. Charlotte Independence – USL

Because American Tier Two soccer r00ls. And Canadia.

Ten to Track (8/8/2017)

1. Real Madrid vs. Manchester United – UEFA Super Cup

Last season’s Champions League and Europa League winners face off in an event which confuses the Noob mightily. Europa League is like the American NCAA basketball NIT – for league also-rans. So the winner of the second-rate event vs. the best in the world? The Noob will track it for the names, but is confused mightily.

Also worth noting:  host city Skopje, Macedonia rated with Trip Advisor as the #4 City in the World that Makes You Say “Whowhere?”

B. Yeovil Town vs. Wolverhampton Wanderers – EFL Cup (first round)

The Noob is learning! I now understand the EFL Cup is not the FA Cup. This one is restricted to teams in The Football League – the top four divisions of play in England.

Yeovil is from League Two, the fourth tier in England. Prior to achieving this level, they had one of the best records in the FA Cup for “non-league” (below fourth tier) teams. The Noob loves big little guys, and so The Glovers are adopted.

3. Red Star vs. Auxerre – Coupe de la Ligue (first round)

More learningness! This is France’s equivalent of the EFL Cup. Only teams from their top three leagues can qualify.

Red Star is a small, Division 3 Parisian team from the northern burbs; a working class team to be sure. Their name is not translated from French.  It’s the actual name. It’s like the Norman linguistic invasion, but in reverse. Or not…

4. Necaxa vs. Morelia – Copa MX

Best combination of teams in group stage play this day.

5. Hibernian vs. Ayr United – Scottish League Cup

I -think- this is analogous to the two Cups above, where there’s another FA Cup that is broader in scope at some point in the year. Ayr U. is the reining 3rd Division champ, might have a puncher’s chance against a lower-rung Premier League side.

6. Lanus vs. The Strongest – Copa Libertadores (round of 16)

Bracketed play begins in the Copa, though this one’s not knockout/single match. This match is the second “leg” of the two-legged “tie” between these two clubs, a home and home affair. “Aggregate” is knotted at 1-1.

7. Real Esteli vs. Aguila – CONCACAF League (group stage)

-Not- the CONCACAF Champions League, though related. Qualifying teams from Latin American and the Caribbean face off in this tournament for a slot in the actual federation Champions League. Mexico, Costa Rica and the U.S. are the only countries that likely matter there.

8. Orlando Pride vs. Washington Spirit – NWSL

The Management does not enjoy teams from cities built on swamps! The Noob is inclined to go along, whether out of fear or likeness of mind.

Orlando is in 6th place, in striking distance of a league postseason top four slot. But time is running out on their comparatively short season.

9. Orange County SC vs. Colorado Springs Switchbacks – USL

The Switchbacks – a nickname we love, but is not enough for Noob Adoption Status yet – tenuously hold the 6th and final league postseason spot.

10. Harrisburg City Islanders vs. Rochester Rhinos – USL

The Noob has is surprised about the Islander nickname for Harrisburg, and wonders if he should be embarrassed about that. They have a shot at home against 5th place Rochester. Away from “the island”, H City sucks out loud.

Ten To Track (8/5/2017)

Hello, and welcome to what will be the start of an exciting, shared educational football adventure.  Even though I’m new to soccer and, yes, American, I can tell you what games around the world are important to watch.  And so much more.  No autobiographical foreplay, that will come in time.  Let’s just push in soccer balls deep.

1. Chicago Fire vs. New England Revolution – MLS

Why? Amuricuh, that’s why!

2. Leon vs. Cruz Azul – Liga MX

It’s the least-crappy looking match, and The Management can actually watch some of these league matches on TV.

3. San Francisco vs. New York Cosmos – NASL

The SF Deltas will one day rule the Tier Two landscape! They are an adopted team of Avis and The Management. The Management may not feel similarly, but I will persuade The Management, despite my utter lack of leverage.

4. Saint Louis vs. Swope Park Rangers – USL

Rumor has it The Management used to do stuff at non-soccer stuff at Swope Park. Another adopted Tier Two team.

5. North Carolina Courage vs. Seattle Reign – NWSL

If the Lifetime Network not only airs but buys ownership stake in a league, the Noob is following. Even if he’s wondering if the halftime show will still vilify men in some cheaply dramatic way.

6. Kashima Antlers vs. Vissel Kobe Japanese (blow) – J-League

Japan is a league I’m highlighting for reasons The Management may or may not wish to make clear in time.

7. Dortmund vs. Bayern Munich – German Super Cup

At Dortmund. They probably call this something other the other than “German Super Cup”, even in translation. I’ve learned Super Cups in various nations match up the previous season’s top flite league winner with the last Football Association Cup winner. Given that this is a lead-in match for the regular season, I honestly have no clue if these teams will care, play anything but third stringers. But it’s Super!

8. Benifica vs. Guimares – Portuguese Super Cup

In Aveiro (neutral). See #7. I also like the city name. Portuguese tends to invert the I before E-rule I grew up with in the greatest nation on Earth, so I find that exotic and sexy.

9. Feyenoord Rotterdam vs. Vitesse – Dutch Super Cup

@ Feyenoord. The Dutch also have cool vowel clumpings. So hawt.

10. Kaizer Chiefs vs. SuperSport – MTN 8 Cup

Looks like a South African knockout tournament similar to MLS Cup, but I don’t know if it determines their league championship or if it’s more of a stand-alone. Because I’m noooob!

But I still know a sweet Kaiser Chiefs jam:

The Angry Mob – Kaiser Chiefs