Tag: Valencia

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches – “It’s finished. It’s done! — Frodo Baggins

The ten most important matches to follow, for us – the newish American fans of the global game.

For the three Midweek days, Noob teases things out from one to three days.  When you have this many Champions League matches from around the world, they needs be spaced out.  Safety first, Noobites.

(Also, Tuesday and Wednesday matches and some resultd are now at bottom.)

Thursday

  1. Trinidad and Tobago vs. Panama – CONCACAF women’s World Cup qualification

This tournament is the women’s CONCACAF Championship, but as it has for many moons, it is also the qualifying event for World Cup.

The Central American and Caribbean teams have finished their opening round of play.  The top finishers from there now join the big North American teams in a Group Stage, hosted in the U.S.  Two Groups of four, top two from each make the Knockout Stage.  Out of that, the top three will go to 2019 World Cup.

These two teams join America and Mexico.  No one from here is beating the US, so it’s about trying to get to #B in the table.  If either of these two wants a shot at what should be Mexico’s slot, it must start with a win today.  That will probably be T&T.  They outscored their opponents 26-1 last stage.

Noob would guess they’re a heavy favorite against Panama, with an 11-5 GD and only finished #B in their pod last round.

  1. Qarabag vs. Arsenal – Europa League

Group Stage, pods of four, top two move on to the Knockout Stage.  That’s where we are in Europe’s secondary international club tournament.

There are two English teams in action today.  Arsenal’s match gets the Track-nod since they’re playing a stronger team and having to go on the road.  Not that today should be much of a for the Brits.

Qarabag’s been having to play qualifications matches to get to this Round, while Arsenal enter the competition only now.   The Azerbaijanis should easily be considered a two-goal underdog on their own pitch.

RESULT:   Arsenal   0-3

  1. Managua vs. Real Esteli – Nicaragua Premier

At least when Noob scouted this match a few days ago, it was #1 vs. #B.   I’m pressed for time over my real job to go to, so can’t even confirm that those table positions are still accurate.   But Noob does recall that the league was starting to turn into a three-horse race, so neither should be any worse than 3rd.

This isn’t one of even Central America’s stronger leagues.  But we’re CONCACAFfeinating ourselves this year, getting to know our federation neighbors.  Noob may add a little extra info here early evening.

Wednesday

  1. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur vs. Barcelona – UEFA Champions League

Scroll down to Tuesday’s mini-previews for some general tournament details.

Then scroll back up and witness Noob’s ire!   Hotspur are named for the historical, traitorous villain Harry Percy.  King and countrymen both, no one could trust him.   Yet he gets a football club named for him.   Maybe MLS will get Benedict Arnold FC as an expansion club someday.   Noob won’t root for them, either!

Team Bile and Vitriol are only about an even match for reigning La Liga champs at home. They’re going to be in bad shape if they can’t get a result of some kind, as they lost 2-0 to Inter Milan in their Group Stage match.  Barca walloped Dutch PSV Eindhoven 4-0 to open their Round.

Napoli hosting Liverpool is just as intriguing, but Noob’s gotta feed his raaaage.   (3:00 PM EST, TNT)

RESULT:   Barca   2-4

Image result for angry fat controller

 

 

 

Hotspur’s making us all Very.  Cross.

  1. Palmeiras vs. Colo Colo – Copa Libertadores

Quarterfinal match in South America’s version of Champions League.   This is the second leg of their home-and-away.

Things are looking grim for the #16 seed, Chilean Colo Colo.   They’re all the way down in 6th in their league, losers of five straight matches over all competitions.  They lost 0-2 to Brazilian behemoths Palmeiras.  They’ve not lost in five straight, have taken over #1 in the continent’s best league.

The winner will get Brazilian Cruziero, or underdog (and up 2-0!) Argentinian Boca Juniors.   (8:45 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Palmeiras   2-0

  1. Kashima Antlers vs. Suwon Bluewings – AFC Champions League

So much CL, you’re going to have to inject it between your toes!

Asia’s version is into its Semifinal, and this is the first Kashima is your 2017 league runner-up from Japan, while Suwon finished 3rd in South Korea.  South Korea’s is the more highly-ranked league in the AFC, but Kashima would still be the favorite, even on a neutral pitch.

The winner will get either Persepolis out if Iran or Qatari club Al-Sadd.

RESULT:   Kashima   3-2       Suwon led 0-2 early

Image result for high on heroin funny

 

 

Replace “heroin” with “soccer”.   

You’re nodding.  I’m nodding.

  1. FCI Levadia vs. Nomme JK Kalju – Estonia Meistriliiga

#B against #1.  Double I’s in the league name.   Meistrliiga, you always bring the sweet relief.

Mr. Rogers once asked kids to do nothing for one minute, just watch the clock on the tv and see how long a minute was, what it felt like.   This is like that for Noob.   Let the high drama of hating Hotspur and all the Champions Leagues action come down a notch.

That’s a good stopping point for today.  Quality, if smaller domestic league match.  Noobites, see you tomorrow when we round out the Ten.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Manchester United vs. Valencia – UEFA Champions League

A reminder of where we are:

The “competition proper” is begun.  We’re seeing the Group Stage now.  Some teams qualified to enter only now, while others had to advance through tournament qualifying round/s.

There are eight groups of four clubs each.  Each club will play a double round robin, home and away matches with each other on in their pod.  Top two finishers move on to the bracketed Knockout Stage.  Third place clubs will get dropped down into a late round of the Europa League.  Last-place sad sacks have to rent halls and serve at table during fine catered dinners for the other three.

(All of that may not be true.  But if Noob ran UEFA…)

All the matches are “important” in this event, and there are eight today.  It’s the top club tournament in the world.  We’ll lean towards our cousins from England in coverage.  Hoffenheim from Germany and Manchester City are a dandy matchup today.  But this is the more interesting one for a particular reason.

Group H looks like a wicked-hard one.  Euros might even be calling it a “Group of Death”.  That seems unnecessarily dark, but ok.  They’ve played just one match each so far.  Man Utd blasted a Swiss club while Spain’s Valencia went down against the defending Italian league champs.

Based on their Elo ratings (Noob hearts footballdatabase.com), Man Utd should easily be a goal favorite at home.   But what makes this match intriguing is the drama going on with the Red Devils.  One of their stars – the Frenchman Pogba – and their manager – Mourinho – are at terrible odds.  The locker room is divided and the club is playing just .500 ball and sitting midtable in the Premier League.

Man Utd does.  Not.   Do.   Midtable.  They vie for titles.  They spend the money.  They finished #B in the EPL last season.  Pogba’s going to get a new team or the manager is going to be out soon.

Noob doesn’t even know what they’re fighting about.  My interest doesn’t run quite that deep.   It’s more fun to imagine the team ordered some sammiches in for a meeting and someone got someone else’s sammich but wouldn’t give it up.  Anyway, it’s perhaps THE story in English football, so our caring-needle is moved.   (3:00 PM EST, TNT)

RESULT:   0-0

Image result for pogba vs mourinho funny“You go over there and eat the turkey on rye you ordered!

I’m staying here with my corned beef.  You work for me!”

B.  Monterrey vs. Zapatec – Copa MX

A reminder of where we are:

Mexico’s leagues have two half-seasons annually – Apertura and Clausura.  We’re in the Apertura.  Concurrent with league play, they also run a Cup tournament during each half-season.  Only teams from the top two leagues compete.

The Group Stage is done.  We’re now seeing the Round of 16 in the bracketed Knockout Stage.  One-off matches, no home-and-away.

Part of the fun of Cups is watching for Minnows – underdogs, teams from leagues other than top-flite – to make deep runs.  Ascenso MX (D2) Juarez has already advanced to the Quarterfinals.  Tonight, we get to see if peers of their will join them.

Zacatepec are in 10th in the Ascenso.  That’s not even high enough to qualify for that league’s Ligilla (postseason)!   Yet here they are, facing mighty Liga MX’s Monterrey.   The only good news for Zaca is that Monterrey has been scuffling a tiny bit of late.  They’re just 1-1-2 in their last four matches.

But they’ve allowed no goals in their last two.  So it’s probably Monterrey by a couple on their own pitch today.   (8:00 PM, Fox Deportes)

RESULT:   Monterrey   4-2

Image result for Letter B fish

 

 

Number B makes friends with a Tanzanian blobfish.  

Not into Minnows, eh?

  1. Al Ahly vs. ES Setif – CAF Champions League

They’ve reached the Semifinals in Africa!  Here, they play home-and-away series to see who advances.  The #1 team on the continent hosts the first leg today.   Any and everyone would and should favor them by a couple goals.

Why?

ES Setif are the defending Algerian champs.  It’s a strong league there, ranked 4th.  But Egypt’s is #1.  Setif had to enter the tournament earlier than Ahly, may be more tired.  Setif only finished 2nd in their Group to advance.  Ahly won theirs.

But ES Setif just knocked out the defending CAF CL champs last round.   Here we go.

RESULT:   Al Ahly   2-0

’10 to Track’ soccer matches- Weekend Edition – Premier League, MLS, all the finest

The ten most important matches for the newish North American fan to follow.  Our quest is noble.

  1. Chicago Fire vs. Sporting Kansas City – MLS

The Fire placed 3rd in the Eastern Division last season, and unless team make-up has changed a lot, they will play things wiiiiiide open.  KC finished 5th in the weaker Western.

The Management has strong KC ties.   Noob has yet to decide if he will openly root against The Management’s teams on principle, cheer along with him (Unlikely!), or modestly heckle.  For today, I’ll just say this:  If Chicago score first, KC will get routed.  (6:00 PM Eastern, NBA League Pass 6)

RESULT:   3-4    KC     (KC scored first)

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Apparently, Noob’s late to this party.

B.  Tigres UANL vs. Tijuana – Liga MX

Noob loves Liga MX more and more each passing day.  They play about the same number of games as other premier leagues (34), but when the season is divided into two separate halves, every game means so much more.

They’re 10 games into the Clausura (second half-season), and things are tight as a tick in the table.  Only eight points separate 1st from 13th.  These two are 5th and 7th.  Top eight will get to play in the postseason Liguilla.

The hosts have some trouble on the defensive side of things, but that makes this a good matchup for them.  Tijuana apparently just like to kick the ball as high as they can all game long.  Only 16 goals have been scored in their 10 matches.   (8:00 PM, ESPN Deportes, Univision)

RESULT:   Tigres   1-0

Image result for mexican letter B

 

 

Number B is so ready.

  1. Manchester United vs. Liverpool – English Premier

At #B and #3, both these clubs are looking safe for a top four-finish and invites to the Champions League.  Man Utd. like a lower-scoring game, at least compared to other top clubs.  Noob looks for 1-0 Red Devils win.

RESULT:   Man Utd.    2-1

  1. Sevilla vs. Valencia – La Liga

Spain’s top-flight league gets four Champions League invites, and Valencia seem set for that 4th.  They’re six points up on 5th-place Sevilla.  They need more than a draw.  Anything but a win and they’ll for certain be settling for Europa League.

RESULT:   Valencia   0-2

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Layers of confusion.

 

 

Sunday, 3/11

  1. Atlanta United vs. D.C. United – MLS

What a treeee-mendous first season Atlanta had!   4th place in the brutally tough East.  Pretty much filling up the lower bowl at the NFL Falcons’ home stadium.  Just think where they might be in a few years.

Hopefully someplace good.  Unlike long-timers D.C. United.  They crapped the bed to a dismal last-place finish.   (3:00 PM Eastern, ESPN)

RESULT:   Atlanta   3-1     The Capitol-crapping continues

  1. Borussia Dortmund vs. Eintracht Frankfurt – Bundesliga

Likely the most important game on the globe this weekend.  League titles mean a lot, but those seem to be decided for most of the big Euro leagues.  Getting to Champions League is what counts.

These two are tied for 3rd, and three more teams lurk no more than three points behind them.  American superstar Christian Pulisic and Dortmond will be looking to make this a battle of offense today.  Frankfurt won’t be able to keep up.   (1:00 PM, FS2, Univision Deportes)

RESULT:   Dortmund   3-2      High drama!  Frankfurt gets the equalizer a minute into stoppage time, then Dortmund gets the winner at 90+5.

Image result for christian pulisic funny

 

 

They grow up SO fast!

  1. Inter Milan vs. Napoli – Serie A

If the above is most important, it’s #7 here giving them a run.

Napoli lead the Italian league by a point, but they’ve also played one more game than #B Juventus.  Inter are just one point behind Lazio for the league’s last Champions League berth.  They play the same defense, but Napoli score half again as often.   (3:45 PM, beIN Sports)

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Rangers vs. Celtic – Scottish Premiership

The sand is running out of the glass on Rangers.  They’re just six points behind Celtic for 1st (and the league’s only C.L. spot), but few other teams have the capability to beat Celtic.  They’ll only face off one more time after today.  Realistically, Rangers have to have a win and three points here.

RESULT:   2-3   Celtic

Image result for great scottish food

 

 

 

Wait, those can’t be Scottish.  They look edible.

  1. Jorge WIlstermann vs. Bolivar – Bolivia Premier

This is the Apertura (first half-season), and oh my have they changed formats.  While the Clausura will still be played under a more typical round-robin system, right now they league is split into two groups of seven.  The top four from each group will advance to a Knockout tournament.

Aaaaanyway.  These two are tied for 1st in their Group.

RESULT:   JW   4-2

  1. PAOK vs. AEK Athens – Superleague Greece

#2 hosts #1!   Just what’s needed – added pressure.  PAOK fans will fight just about anywhere, anytime as is.  The club has already had two points in the table deducted for hooligan fans.  They’re five behind AEK.

RESULT:   0-0      Best of all, Noob heard of no fan maimings

Image result for paok hooligans

Actual photo from fighting before a PAOK-AEK game.   

We should NEVER have sent Greece those Karate Kid VHS tapes.

’10 to Track’ soccer matches – midweek edition: Our Cups runneth over

Our “ten most important games to track for us, the newish American soccer fans”, hits its midweek stride.  Cups, all Cups, all the time!  Well, almost.  You’ll see, Noobites.

Tuesday, 2/6

  1. Swansea City vs. Notts County – English FA Cup

It’s down to Replays in the Round of 32.  Four of the matches ended in draws, and so get played over at the other team’s home pitch.  This time, they’ll play extra time, do penalty kick shootouts to determine winners if need be.

Swansea’s having a dilemma.  They need to remain focused, save their best players’ energy for Premier League games.  They’re in a three-way tie for the first two Relegation Zone slots in the table.  Could this open the door today for League Two (fourth-tier) Notts Co.?

RESULT:   Swansea   8-1      Not a typo.

B.  Yeovil Town vs. Fleetwood Town – EFL Trophy

A reminder of what this event is:  a knockout tournament like the FA Cup, but with only League One and Two (third and fourth-tier) teams, plus Academy teams affiliated with clubs from the top two leagues.

This is the last Quarterfinal match, and Noob’s on fire for this one!   Yeovil is Noob-adopted and Fleetwood Town is Noob-Reviled.  Never before have I had two of these statuses face off in a featured T2T match.

Yeovil is having a garbage season in League Two.  Fleetwood is faring similarly, but up in League One.  Noob doesn’t care that Fleetwood Mac is not named for this club’s town.  Anything that makes me think of Stevie Nicks is worthy of scorn!   After Yeovil prevail, Noob will start a podcast just to belt out “Yeovil True” for the world!!

RESULT:   Yeovil   3-2    Winning goal in the 90′!

Image result for ease up funny

 

 

Fleetwood pokes and prods me in ways you cannot imagine, Noobites.

  1. Celaya vs. Atletico se San Luis – Copa MX

Just as the Mexican leagues’ season is broken up into two wholly separate tournaments, so they also have to Copa.  Only clubs from the top two divisions compete, and these two are both from the second-tier Ascenso.

Here in the Group Stage, the competing clubs are in pods of just three, and they play Double Round Robins.  All three teams in this Group have earned three points in two matches, and are even tied on goal differential.  Celaya won the Apertura, and so should be favored by plenty at home.

RESULT:   Celaya   1-0

  1. Paderborn vs. Bayern Munich – DFB-Pokal (German FA Cup)

This is a Quarterfinal match as well.  One doesn’t have to go far back at all historically to find Paderborn playing in the top division.  For now, though, they’re winning the third-tier division.  Naturally, they have their hands full and then some with Bundesliga #1 Bayern.

RESULT:   Bayern   0-6      Also not a typo.

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Good LAWD!  Dan the Intern-o Inferno, are you still watching “The Path” on Hulu?   Did it take such an unholy turn as this?

  1. Chennaiyin vs. Bengaluru – Indian Super League

#B hosts #1 in what Noob thinks of as India’s “promotional” league.  India’s federation felt it needed a separate league from their co-top flight I-League for reasons that elude me.  But we’re down with more footyball!

The top four will make the league playoffs.  Bengaluru should be safe, four points up on the pack.  A road win here would seal it.  They have the better offense, but Chennaiyin play every bit as good of defense.

RESULT:   Bengaluru   1-3

Wednesday, 2/7

  1. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur vs. Newport County – English FA Cup

League Two Newport Co. held on for a 1-1 draw in their first match with Reviled Hotspur.  All this has earned them is a chance to try again, but this time at Wembley.  Sadly for Noob, they’ll be doing well to keep within two goals of the Traitorously-Named Ones.

RESULT:   Hotspur   2-0

Image result for evil harry hotspur

 

 

 

Harry “Hotspur” Percy even  STOOD on PUPPIES!

  1. Atlas vs. Tampico Madero – Copa MX

All three teams in this Group are tied in the table with two matches to go.  Ascenso side Tampico Madero could be strong enough to get promoted to the top flight at season’s end.  That likely won’t help them on the road against better-than-average Liga MX Atlas.

RESULT:   Tampico Madero   1-2

  1. Atlletico Nacional vs. Millonairos – Colombia Primera A Final

OK, so Noob’s confusion is now mostly resolved.  Previously, it had been unclear to me just what this was.  My instinct was right and it’s essentially a Super Cup, common to so many leagues, pitting the top two sides from the previous year in a preseason exhibition.

The first match of this two-legged tie went scoreless, so the winner today wins…well, a trophy Noob supposes.

RESULT:   Millonarios   1-2

Image result for Colombia is boring

 

 

Um, hey. Juana – the game’s on…

Lucas, watch out for Harry Percy, might stand on ya’.

 

 

Thursday, 2/8

  1. Valencia vs. Barcelona – Copa del Rey

This is the second leg (match) of a Semifinal tie (series) in Spain’s FA Cup.

Barcelona have yet to lose in La Liga, so 3rd-place Valencia did well to lose just 0-1 in the first leg.  It will take a mighty effort for them to advance to the Final, but home pitch can mean everything.

  1. Jorge WIlstermann vs. Oriente Petrolero – Copa Libertadores qualification

Wilstermann won the first match of this two-legged tie 1-2, and now get a chance to seal the deal at home against their weaker Bolivian league foe.  The winner will make the final eight in this event, out of which six teams will make it into C.L.

Image result for seal the deal funny

 

Ewwww.

Um, play midfield really well.

’10 to Track’ soccer games for weekend! 2/3-4: post-Deadline Premier League leads the way

“Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”  Globetrotting Friday was sweet.  But now we can get downright bacchanalian on the weekend’s ten most worthwhile matches for us, the newish American fans!

Tip of the day:  Check back to any previous T2T to see the post-match results.

Saturday, 2/3

  1. Arsenal vs. Everton – English Premier League

Noob normally avoids getting in the weeds on specific players.  We are Noob and Noobite, and our focus for newish American fans like us here is teams and leagues.  But —

Trade/Transfer Deadline Day just passed in England, and #6 Arsenal made two big moves.  They picked up offensive superstar Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang from Borussia Dortmund for a massive pile of money.  Noob gathers there was also some question as to whether they would hold onto star Mesut Ōzil.  They did.

6th place is only good for maybe qualifying for Europa League.  They’ve fallen six points behind Noob-reviled Tottenham  Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur for 5th, a slot which would guarantee them that berth.  They’re eight points out of 4th place and a Champions League invite.  Will their new acquisition be enough to get them over the hump?  They should at least be able to keep 9th-place Everton’s weak offense muffled.

RESULT:   Arsenal   5-1

OTOH, some of us don’t want to get over the hump…

B.  Monterrey vs. Leon – Liga MX

In the Apertura half of the 2017-18 season, these two finished #B and #7 respectively.  A few games into the Clausura, they’re in 1st and 8th.  The more things change, the more they stay the same.

RESULT:   Monterrey   5-1

Image result for hip hop letter B

 

 

Old school!   Graffiti font Number B.

  1. FC Porto vs. Braga – Primeira Liga

Portugal’s top league has slipped just enough in the FIFA rankings that they lost a Champions League berth, so now only get two teams in.

Porto is #B right now, but have played one less game than 1st-place Sporting and only trail them by a point.  Defending league champ Benfica are hot on their heels, just two points back.  4th place-Braga will remain such to the end, Europa-bound.

Honorable mention today:  Borussia M’Gladbach vs. RB Leipzig, Sampdoria vs. Torino, Eibar vs. Sevilla, Benfica vs. Rio Ave

RESULT:   Porto   3-1

Sunday, 2/4

  1. Liverpool vs. Tottenham Sir Topham Hatt Hotspur – English Premier League

First Liverpool traded their offensive superstar.  Now at the Deadline they’ve been woefully outbid by a bottom-rung team (West Brom) for their own star defender.

Liverpool is tied in the table for 3rd/4th with Chelsea, and the traitorously-named Hotspur club just two points behind them.  Since it’s the top four that get into Champions League, it may not be unfair to say this is the most interesting and perhaps important match of the year so far.

RESULT:   2-2

Image result for cross Fat Conductor

 

 

Would you be less cross with Noob if I paid compliment on your pocket square?

  1. UNAM Pumas vs. UANL Tigres – Liga MX

UNAM finished last in the Apertura, but look at the Pumas now!  Sure, it’s just four games into the Clausura, but tied for 1st is shiny just the same.  Los Tigres finished 2nd, but are in 6th now, have had a tough defensive start to the second half.

RESULT:   UNAM   2-0

  1. AS Monaco vs. Lyon – Ligue 1

Monaco is in 4th, on the outside looking in for a Champions League berth.  But they’re only a single point behind #B’s Lyon and Marseille.

Lyon just lost 3-1 to Bordeaux, a missed opportunity to create some space for themselves.  But they beat Monaco 2-3 in the Coupe de France just over a week ago.  Noobstradamus knows the limits of his prognosticating power, is staying clear of all this madness.

RESULT:   Monaco   3-2

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Wouldn’t touch this one with a 10-meter baguette.

  1. Atlético Madrid vs. Valencia – La Liga

Atlético is #B and has enough points to feel safe in their Champions League quest, as the top four Spanish clubs get invited.

Valencia is in 3rd, and it’s a good bet that defending league champ Real Madrid will right their ship soon and pass them.  Can Valencia stay clear of Villareal would be the real question.

RESULT:   Atletico   1-0

  1. Club Brugge vs. Sporting Charleroi – Belgium First Division A

The top six teams here make the league championship playoffs.  Club Brugge have all but won the league already.  Will Charleroi be able to hang on to #B and the other bye in the playoffs?  Anderlecht trail them by just a point in the table.

RESULT:   3-3

Image result for hang on funny

 

This is so close to feeling relevant.

And yet so far…

  1. Macabbi Tel Aviv vs. Hapoel Be’er Sheva – Israeli Premier

Same deal in Israel as in Belgium – top six make the league playoffs.  #B hosts league #1.  Can Tel Aviv hold off Beitar Jerusalem for a bye?   They are about identical to Be’er Sheva in record and stats, so should hold serve today at least.

RESULT:   Tel Aviv   1-0

  1. San Lorenzo vs. Boca Juniors – Superliga Argentina

We finish strong, Noobites!  Three in a row where a #B faces off against  numero uno.   They’re not much more than a dozen games into the season there, but Juniors are already starting to get some distance from the field, and their goal differential proves it can last.  Unstoppable offense.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for unstoppable funny

 

 

Grabber-armed t-rex returns!

 

 

 

 

Honorable Mention matches:   Augsburg vs. Eintracht Frankfurt, Udinese vs. AC Milan, Olympiacos vs. AEK Athens, Plateau United vs. Sunshine Stars