’10 to Track’ Globetrotting Friday soccer matches – a world of footyball awaits!

Fridays tend to be a little lighter for soccer scheds around the world.  So we pack our bags and hit the tarmac!   Let’s Trot – learn some Fun Facts about teams and leagues from far and wide.

As always, we start close to home, then expand our soccer horizons.

  1. Atlanta United II vs. North Carolina FC – United Soccer League

Welcome to the only high-end match in America.  No MLS today, but do get one second-tier game.

ATL2 is down in 14th in the Eastern Conference.  For all the success Atlanta’s MLS side is having, their reserve team is lousy.

North Carolina is one of the USL clubs Noob has a soft spot for.  They moved over from the almost seemingly-defunct North American Soccer League.  To know why, please check out the Interviews D-Twosday page on this site.  Those are a gas, and so unreal you’ll hardly believe they’re believable.  Yup!  That came out right.

Anywho, NCFC is in 10th place.  Not scintillating, except a little when you remember each conference gets it’s top eight into the Playoffs.  They’re only three points out of 8th.

There’s a massive gulf in the table between ATL2 and those below and everyone else.  NC probably wins by a goal or two here on the road.

RESULT:   NC   1-6    Not a typo.   Cameroonian forward Ulrich Donovan Ewolo has four goals.

B.  Puebla vs. CF America – Liga MX

They’re about halfway through the Apertura (first half-season) in Mexico.  Unsurprisingly, CFA is near the top (3rd).   Puebla are in 10th.  They’re likely better than that and will climb.  They win a lot but almost never draw, which is painful in the table.

RESULT:   CF America   2-3       Puebla lead twice before giving up the winning score at 90′.  And CFA had even just lost a man to a red card at 88′.

Image result for letter B hurt

 

 

 

Can’t tell if Number B is mildly scolding or in pain, a la Puebla.

  1. Necaxa vs. Monterrey – Liga MX Femenil

Little Billy Donovan from Springfield writes:

Dear Mr. Noob,

Why do you list the Mexican men’s league before the women’s?  My mom says it’s because you’re a misogynistic – well, she’ll wash my mouth out with soap if I use the word she did.

Billy, thanks for writing in.  Wait, how did you know Noob would — know what?  Never mind.

But since you’re writing, wouldn’t your mom just end up harmlessly washing your hand if you wrote the bad word she did?  Also, she sounds like quite the hypocrite, and you can tell her Noob said so.  I’ll bet she’s not even hot.

When Noob featured matches from both leagues in the same Track, I list first whichever match is more intriguing and/or features teams that are collectively higher in their table.

Necaxa are in last in their Group.  (The league is divided into two.)  Monterrey are in 4th, need to climb two spots to make the Playoffs.   That quest moves forward today.  Visitors by a couple, easy.

RESULT:   Monterrey   0-2

  1. Wydad Casablanca vs. ES Setif – CAF Champions League

Africa’s version is in its Quarterfinals, where each matchup is a two-legged, home-and-away affair.

Noob Tracked the first leg not long back, and ES Setif took care of business at home with a 1-0 win.  Now it’s the defending champions’ turn to host.  Based on their ELO ratings (thank you, footballdatabase.com), Noob figures Wydad is easily a goal favorite at their own place, probably a 3:2 favorite with take it by two goals and advance.

RESULT:   0-0     And so the champs are OUT.  ES Setif moves on to the Semis.

Image result for Wydad Casablanca

 

 

Apparently, Wydad supporter’s know or assume Gerard Butler is a supporter, too.

  1. Cork City vs. Dundalk – League of Ireland Premier

It’s the pair of clubs longer-tenured Noobites knew would be at the top at the end, if not the order.

Defending champs Cork City are down seven points in the table.  They need a win today or the race is over.  Since it’s on their pitch, that’s more likely than not to happen.  But only by a tiny bit.  Dundalk have the advantage of only needing to play for a draw.  And they’re better on both sides of the ball, really put it all together this season.

Fun Fact:  Cork City are supporter-owned, by FORAS.  It stands for Friends of the Rebel Army and is Irish for “development”.

RESULT:   Dundalk   0-1      While it’s not a mathematical certainty, Noob’s ready to call the league finished!  Congrats to the fighting ‘Dalks!   I’m sure that’s their nickname…

  1. HJK vs. RoPS – Finland Veikkausliga

It’s all but over in Finalnd as well.  HJK lead #B RoPS by nine with just a few matches left to play.  These two play very good if not quite great D.  The difference has been HJK scores nearly twice a game on average while RoPS is only average in that department.   Today is probably coronation day for the defending titleholders.

RESULT:   HJK   3-0     Give HJK another crown!

Image result for hjk

 

 

For about two seconds, Noob didn’t notice this was a split image.

Yup.  Thought HJK fielded a giant.

  1. Zalgiris Vilnius vs. Suduva – Lithuania A Lyga

This league isn’t quite a true summer one like the above two, is only about 2/3 of the way through.  And the title race is closer.  Suduva won last year narrowly over ZV, and the margin is about the same now.

Still, ZV at home is the play if you’re such a gambling addict that Lithuanian soccer is part of your fix.  Degenerate!

Fun Fact:  Zalgiris’ supporters group are Pietų IV.   Noob has no idea how to begin to pronounce that.

RESULT:   ZV   1-0

  1. Al-Wahda vs. Al-Wasl – Arabian Gulf League

This is the top league in United Arab Emirates.   They’re just a couple matches into the season.  These were last year’s #B and #3 squads.  Wasl will have to accelerate on offense a little more to play for a second-place spot.  They’ll need a miracle to surpass Al-Ain.  Both would.

RESULT:   Al-Wahda   4-1

Image result for snobbish funny

 

Al-Wahda are nicknamed “Excellencies”.

Ooh la la!   

Here is your rrrroast. Duck, Al-Wahda.

  1. Partizani Tirana vs. Flamutari – Albania Super Liga

Partizani finished 5th last season.  Normally that would get you squat, but perennial powerhouse Skenderbeu Korce got hit with a record ten-year ban from international play by UEFA.   That moved the tournament invitations down a rung in table each, so allowed P.T. to eke into Europa League.  Where they got skunked over two matches in the first qualifying round.

If you’d like to know a little more about the S.K. match-fixing nawteeness, Noob recommends checking out Bros Talking Soccer, podcast episode 90.  The question comes at the 35’, but why not listen to the whole thing?  One of only three podcasts on which I spend time.  Look, they’re Bros.   They talk.  And it’s about soccer.  In this day and age, it’s hard to find such transparency in the offering!   Muy bueno.

Oh yeah, Flamutari was 6th last year.  OK.

Fun Fact:  Brostalkingsoccerpodcast.com is the website  where Noobites can get mucho info.

RESULT:   Tirana   2-0

  1. Go Ahead Eagles vs. Jong Ajax – Netherlands Eerste Divisie

Noob finishes our ‘Trotting Track in the Netherlands second division!   Both teams this very early season are high enough in the table to be in the Promotion conversation.  Jong (Young) Ajax are disallowed though, as reserve teams there can’t move up to top flite.

Only the top finisher will move up automatically.  GHE are #B, which places them atop the spots that will qualify for the postseason Promotion playoffs.  They’re leading the league in offense, and Noob considers them to easily be a goal favorite today.

RESULT:   Eagles   2-1

Image result for speelgoedmuseum deventerSo long from the Toy Museum, Deventer — home of Go Head Eagles!

The city.   They don’t live with the toys.

’10 to Track’ Relegation Monday matches – feel the suckitude

On Monday’s, what with world soccer scheds being lighter, Noob introduces you to teams about to be Relegated.

Feel their pain.  Mondays are for pain.

  1. Queretaro vs. Tigres UANL – Liga MX Femenil

Noob’s beginning to think Queretaro only gets to play teams at the top of the table. we see them so much.   They’re 5th in Group 2 (of 2), taking on the #1 side today.   Neither side plays a ton of D.

Difference is, Tigres score like no one else.  Queretaro score…well, some.    Not enough.  They’ll get embarrassed by three today.

RESULT:   Tigres   1-2

B.  Southampton vs. Brighton & Hove Albion – English Premier League

The lone EPL match today features two sides that aren’t quite in Relegation position, but they aren’t far above it, and they were even closer to danger last year.

No matter how hard they pack it in on defense all season, neither will score enough to make midtable.   (3:00 PM EST, NBCSN)

RESULT:   2-2       B&HA with comes back from 0-2, getting equalizer at 90’+1

Image result for b is for bad

 

 

Number B refuses to be merely “bad”.

  1. Persepolis vs. Al-Duhail – AFC Champions League

Match two of this Semifinal!   This is a really even matchup for the Iranians.  Unfortunately, they trail 0-1 after the first match in Qatar.

RESULT:   Persepolis   3-1        On to the Final!

  1. RoPS vs. KuPS – Finland Veikkausliga

There may be just enough season left for #B RoPS to think they can still make a run at the title.  They’re down seven points to HJK, the class of the league.  KuPS are tied for 3rd, part of a tight pack of teams that score a ton, but give up toooooo many goals to be a threat to the top.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for aurora borealis finland lapland

 

Laplandic Finland (where RoPS are) gets about 10x as many Northern Lights sightings as down south.

 

And now – the Matches of Suckitude!

  1. Honka vs. PS Kemi – Finland Veikkausliga

More Finnish footyball?   You’ve got it, Noobites!   To the other end of the table we go.

Well, to see PS Kemi, anyway.   Honka the ones tied for 3rd with KuPS.  PS Kemi are in last place.  The bottom two will get Relegated.  They’re four points from daylight, so not without hope hypotherically.

Realistically?   They’re going to get doubled up on today.   Honka are that much better on both sides of the ball.

Fun Fact:    Each year, Kemi is once again home to the world’s largest snow castle.

RESULT:   Honka   2-1       Spanish international Borja Martin with both his team’s goals

  1. Hacken vs. Trellesborg – Sweden Allsvenskanliga

Hacken are a real mystery to Noob.  They have a great goal differential on the season, yet sit midtable.  Perhaps that means if last place Trellesborg can keep things close, a Monday Miracle is possible!

Naaaaaah.  They stink to high heaven.

RESULT:   Hacken   2-1

Image result for smelly swede

 

 

 

No.

  1. Chapocoense vs. Internacional – Brazil Serie A

Four of the 20 clubs in this league will get The Boot at season’s end.  Chapo are tied for 17th.  They’re just two points from getting out of danger, but time is running out.  And league #B Internacional won’t be caught napping today, or any day.  They’re just a point out of 1st.

Fun Fact:   One of their nicknames is “The Chape Terror”.    Hmm.   Maybe they could terrorize second division next season.

RESULT:   Chape   2-1      We had to wait until the last Match of Suckitude of the day, but we got our Relegation Monday miracle!

  1. Misr El-Maqasa vs. El Hodood – Egypt Premier

El Hodood are very bad.  Noob find their name funny.  Largely because I’m so damn overmedicated for my neck and lower back both being waaaay out of alignment.

RESULT:   MEM   3-1

Image result for overmedicated funny

 

 

 

That image sure is.   Thanks for the nightmare-fodder.  Damn.

  1. Ural vs. Rostov – Russia Premier

How overmedicated?  Well, I was awoken yesterday by a coworker’s phone call.   I was so out of it, the dream I was having seemed more real for quite some time afterwards than the short conversation we’d had.

I’d been dreaming about opening a cheese sandwich shop in a mall in Des Moines, Iowa.   I was working out the particulars of whether or not to carry fresh mayonnaise to spread on the bread or go with prepackaged packets.

I wish I was making that up.   Nope.

Oh yes, Ural are ghastly and will lose by at least two.

Fun Fact:   Ural are the Bumblebees.    No punchline here, just the first club Noob’s found with that nickname.

RESULT:   1-1

  1. ES Setif vs. DRB Tadjenanet – Algeria Ligue 1

This league is just a few matches in, but that doesn’t stop Noob from sniffing out crappy soccer, oh no.   Today’s visitors are tied with a couple other clubs for third-to-last, a Relegation slot.  MC Oran will climb away from the awfulness soon enough, so DRBT might be on our craptastic-radar for a while.   They’re especially lazy on defense.

Since #3 ES Setif are also competing in the late stages of the CAF Champions League, perhaps they will not be prepared today, but that’s likely the only chance their guests today will have.

RESULT:   1-1

Image result for tadjenanet

 

So long from Tadjenanet!

Yikes!   If this is their athletics scene, how crazy-violent are their football supporters?

’10 to Track’ Relegation Monday soccer matches – embrace the Suckitude to start your week

After weekends schedules thick which matches of much importance, Mondays’ tend to run a little lighter.

Here at Noob, we embrace the dark side of Monday by celebrating and getting to know some clubs that are on the verge of being Booted from their current league homes for poor performance.

But first, happier fare —

  1. Paris Saint-Germain vs. Atletico Madrid – International Champions Cup

Whatever PSG may have hoping to see out of starters or reserves in this tournament of exhibitions, essentially, they can’t be seeing it.  They lost 1-3 to Bayern Munich and 1-5 to Arsenal, which had a disappointing 2017 league campaign.

This will be Atletico’s second match of the three they all will play.  For comparison, they beat Arsenal 1-1 on penalties.  Today’s match will be at Singapore’s newish National Stadium.   (7:30 AM, ESPNU)

RESULT:   PSG   3-2

B.  Riga FC vs. RFS – Latvia Higher League

Noob likes to include happy league matches where he can find it.  I mean non-Relegation matches of import.  And if we need to scan down to the 42nd-ranked league In Europe, we’re there.  Hey. they’re playing.

Here. tied-for-3rd hosts 1st.  RFS are six points up on the pack, looking good for the league’s only Champions League berth in 2019.  They also fight over two Europa league invites.  Riga would love to get any kind of result today, hope to keep pace with Leipaja.  They’ll do so with their usual tactic of trying to take the air out of the ball, keep the score low.

RESULT:   Riga FC   1-0

Image result for latvian alphabet

 

In its quest to displace Number Two in lists, Number B enlists alphabets of the world for support.

Latvian alphabet.  Check.

 

 

And now, the Matches of Suckit000000000d!

  1. Trelleborgs FF vs. Hammarby – Sweden Allsvenskanliga

This match in UEFA’s #22-ranked league is very important for both clubs, though for very different reasons.

Hammarby are tied for #B in the table, and only one club will get into the next Champions League.  They trail undefeated AIK by six points.  Even at just halfway through the season, there is no margin for error here.  AIK won’t be collapsing anytime soon.

Trelleborgs might only be in 14th place because they’ve played 1-2 fewer games than other clubs.  But since a win today is unlikely, their stay in this slot in the table is.  It’s third-to-last.  The team that finishes in this position will have a Relegation playoff with a Superettan (second-division) team.

Fun Fact (Though Maybe Not For Them):  TTF aren’t a very popular club nationally, being thought of as rather rural.  They also play a sometimes-unpopular style, not trying to score much, focusing on stout defense.

RESULT:   Hammarby   1-3

  1. TPS vs. Ilves – Finland Veikkausliga

Not far below average in the continental league rankings we find Finland (#36).

At second-to-last, TPS are also in a Relegation Playoff slot in the table.  Neither of these clubs plays much offense.  They’re the only two teams in the league that don’t average even a goal per match.  Noob will Track it, but sure wouldn’t pick this one to watch.  Ilves is in 7th.

RESULT:   Ilves   1-3

Image result for turku finland

 

 

Racing ships in Turku, Finland – home of TPS

  1. Keflavik vs. Briedablik – Iceland Urvalsdield

Catching the theme?  The “big” Euro leagues will be starting soon enough, but these northern ones need to finish up before fall weather sets in.  This league is #40 in UEFA.

Keflavik still has yet to win a game.  They’re dropping a division in a couple months and that’s just all there is to it.  They make the Finnish teams above look like offensive juggernauts.  Briedbalik are tied for #B and just three points out of 1st.

Fun Fact:   Keflavik the town produced many musicians during the 1960’s and 70’s, and so became known as “Beatle Town”.

RESULT:   0-0

  1. Leones vs. Alianza Petrolera – Columbia Premier A

This league uses a multi-year points system to determine who gets The Boot annually.   Things are looking grim for Leones, last in that table.  They finished last in the Apertura (first half-season), too.  Still,

Noob gives thinks they’re an even match at home against A.P., which finished just 15th.   If there’s much offense, though, it will be all Petrolera.

RESULT:   A.P.   0-1

Image result for Bitagui

 

 

Fun Fact:  Itagui – home of Leones – is believed to be named for an indigenous tribal chief who was named “Bitagui”.

  1. 3 de Febrero vs. Luqueno – Paraguay Premier

The Fighting Februari…ans… are in last in their leagues Relegation table as well.  In a rare instance, though, Noob’s actually favoring them in a match.  3dF finished in last in the Apertura table, but their guests today were only two slots higher.  Looking for a Monday miracle here!

Interesting Strong Rumor:   CA3F’s home of Cuidad del Este is home to many Asian immigrants.  Some Lebanese ones are thought to be heavily involved in trafficking cocaine money to Hezbollah.

RESULT:   Luqueno   0-2

  1. PS TIRA vs. Persib Bandung – Indonesia Liga 1

PS TIRA are tied for last in Asia’s 27th-ranked league.  Yet they’re only a point from possibly daylight.   Today’s not the day to look for a Miracle out of them, even at home.  Bandung lead the league.  This is a battle of the best and worst defenses in the country.

RESULT:   Bandung   2-3

PS TIRA logo.png

 

Fun Fact:  PS TIRA are nicknamed “Army” and “Young Warriors”, as the club was formed by a merger with the National Armed Forces team and another club.

  1. Kondzo vs. JS Talangai – Congo Ligue 1

This is at most, Noob believes, only the second time we’ve Tracked a match from the Republic!  Theirs is the 10th-ranked domestic league in Africa.

That isn’t due to either of these teams, really, and certainly not tied-for last place Kondzo.  Two teams will get demoted from this bunch.  There’s one team down on their level, but all three are losing ground fast on the rest of the pack.  Talangai are in just in 10th, so it’s hardly unthinkable Kondzo starts their push for daylight today.

Fun Fact:   Kondzo are from the capital, Brazzaville.  It is directly across a river from Kinshasa, the capital of DR Congo.  This is the only place the world where capital cities are positioned so.

  1. Persiwa vs. PSS Sleman – Indonesia Liga 2

I know, Noob missed Indonesia, too – let’s double dip!

Persiwa is in last place.  On paper, they may actually be better than four teams ahead of them in the table.  Have to win some close ones.  That will be a tall order against the #B team in the league.  Sleman only concedes a goal about every other game on average.

RESULT:   Sleman   0-1

Image result for wamena papua

 

 

So long from the Papua highlands of Wamena, home of Persiwa!

’10 to Track’ soccer matches for Relegation Monday! Plus World Cup, Isle of Sodor Cup

The ten most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game.  It’s what we do.

Monday, we hit the few big games on the slates, then turn out attention to teams about to possibly be dropped from their leagues for putrid performance.  Relegation Monday!

  1. Iran vs. Portugal – FIFA World Cup

Time to start the third and final matches in Group B!

Iran is in 3rd and must win today to advance, despite being only one point behind Spain and Portugal both.  One of their best players has yet to break out and score, Sardar Azmoun.  He plays in the Russian Premier League, one of the top ten in UEFA.

Portugal would advance with even a draw.  It will be interesting to see what pace, how defensively they play.  They are tied with Spain on both points and goal differential, but behind on the next tie breaker (“Fair Play’ points).  Will Cristiano Ronaldo & Co. push for a win and hope Spain can’t beat already-eliminated Morocco?  Winning the Group makes a difference in where a team is seeded for the Knockout Stage.

And there you have it!  Mini-preview success.  Just enough to get you through water cooler-chat.  Now go, be free!  Noob will be searching out deeper pregame analysis, invites you to do likewise, Noobites.  Our education is important.   (2:00 PM Eastern, Fox, Telemundo)

RESULT:   1-1    Portugal advances, though Spain wins the group by virtue of the second tiebreaker (total goals scored, 6-5).

Image result for soccer academy funny

 

 

 

He learned footyball powers.  

We can, too.

B.  Suddery vs. Wellsworth – Isle of Sodor Cup

Ah, the Capital.  it’s good to be back.   You are deserving of the distinction of Number B.

These are the last two teams to be playing their second of three Group Stage matches.  So far, every match in this Group has ended in a draw, so the action is hot.

Suddery will likely start in the Premier division this coming and first-ever league season on Sodor.  They aren’t expected to do better than midtable.  In future years, that could get worse, too.  Word already is that the Capital will have a second club before long.

Wellsworth are expected to play in the Second Division, yet probably be a relegation candidate.  Small town.

RESULT:   Wellsworth   3-4      Check out the Isle of Sodor Cup Page link near the upper right of the home page for standings.

Image result for The Rover's Return Isle of Man

 

 

Noob enjoyed drinking tonight with blind-Jeff Daniels and this other guy at Rover’s Return, Suddery.

  1. Thor Akureyri vs. Stjarnan – Iceland Cup

It’s the Quarterfinal knockout round in this FA Cup.  Thor Akureyri are one of two second-division clubs still playing.  They’re in 4th in their league.  Perennial power Stjarnan are #B in the Urvlasdield (top flight).  The home side’s name may sound cool, but they’d do well to keep this within a goal today.

RESULT:   Stjarnan   1-2

  1. Dinamo Brest vs. Gorodeya – Belarus Premier

Welcome back, Gorodeya!  Still in last place, Noob sees.  Good news though.  With a win, you’d climb over two clubs and out of the Drop Zone, for the moment.   A draw is far more likely though.  Why?  Midtable Dinamo Brest has earned draws in seven of their twelves games.

RESULT:   DB   5-2

 

 

Loving the font particularly

  1. Mariehamn vs. Kemi – Finland Veikkausliga

Kemi are in second-to-last place.  Whichever team finishes there will play a second-tier club for the right to play top-flight in 2019.

Mariehamn are one of the clubs that could end up there as well, just one spot higher in the table.  The home team today favors a higher-scoring game, so look for multiple goals both ways here.

Fun Fact:  The Kemi Kings have finished as high as 8th in Finland’s FA Cup

RESULT:   Mariehamn   2-1

  1. Pulau Pinang vs. PDRM – Malaysia Premier

Don’t be confused by the name – this is one of countries that uses “premier” to denote their second-highest league (“Super League” being higher).

Pulau Pinang are sort of in second-to-last.  Kuantan FA have been disqualified from play for financial issues, are listed with zero points, and appear set to be Relegated because of that.  P.P. can’t score, plain and simple.  PDRM are tied for #B, but have overachieved so far.   Could an upset be brewing?

RESULT:   Pinang   3-1     It’s a Relegation Monday miracle!

Image result for ultras panthers

 

Pinang Ultras Panthers supporters group throw toilet paper rolls on the pitch pregame traditionally.

  1. Aral Nukus vs. Xorazm – Uzbek Pro League A

Second-level Uzbek ball?  Yes, please!  Hey. They’re playing.

The league has just nine teams, yet two will be giving The Boot at season’s end.  Aral Nukus are in last.  Wanna know what’s Malay for “defense”?  Don’t ask Noob.  And don’t ask this club.  They’re the worst in that regard, and it’s not close.  Xorazm are midtable.

Fun Fact:   Aral Nukus played in the Soviet Second League for a deacde in the ’70s and ’80’s.

RESULT:   Xorazm   0-3

  1. Norin vs. Mash’al – Uzbek Pro League A

Double dip!  Norin are just a point ahead of Aral Nukus in the table, also in position to get moved down to Pro League B.  They will get housed by the league #1 today.  Worst offense, second-worst defense.

RESULT:   Norin   2-1    An even mightier Relegation Monday miracle!

Image result for chust knives pattern clothes

 

 

Norin’s Namangan region is famous for the  Beqasam (silk type) national dresses.

  1. Yozyovan vs. Lokomotiv BFK – Uzbek Pro League B

Hey, if you find a La Liga, Bundesliga, or English Premier match Noob’s not seeing on the world slate, lemme know.  Pretty sure they’re still in off-season.  So to the third tier we go!

This league is nine teams as well, also with two teams guaranteed to get moved down to the Regional Leagues.  BFK are in last, don’t look statistically like they have it in them to rise more than a spot in the table at best.  Fun-to-say Yozyovan are pretty average.

Fun Fact:   The Fergana Region where the village Yozyovan is located borders both Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan

RESULT:   Yoz   2-1

10.  Matchakhela vs. Aragvi Dusheti – Georgia Liga III

Welcome back, last place-Matchakhela! The Track has missed you.  Still figuring out the rules, Noob sees.  Try scoring.  At all.  This will improve your chances.  #13 (of 20) Dusheti at home might be the best win you’re capable of snaring this year.

RESULT:   Dusheti   2-3

Image result for gonio fortress

 

The ancient Roman fortress Gonio in Matchakhela’s base town is rumored to be the burial place of the Apostle Matthew.

’10 to Track’ Midweek Edition soccer matches (6/19-21) – World Cup, Isle of Sodor Cup lead the way

The ten most important matches to follow for us – the newish American fans of the global game.  Noob’s mantra.  It’s mostly Cup action for the midweek, FIFA World and Isle of Sodor.

Noob’s on a whirlwind tour of Sodor, hustling from one village or town to the next each day for matches as I continue my seemingly exclusive online coverage.  To this end, I’m posting just the two feature matches for Tuesday from here in Glennock, even though the train ride to Crovan’s Gate for tomorrow’s key game isn’t long, even by Sodor standards.

Tuesday

  1. Colombia vs. Japan – FIFA World Cup

Welcome to Group G.  All four teams here play their first match today.  Favorite Poland face off against Senegal.  #16 FIFA-ranked Colombia is likely to be the other one to advance.  Japan are just #61 in the world.

Colombia seem an interesting case.  In the last friendlies before a major event, teams begin letting their likely starters play together.  No more auditions, so to speak.  They actually beat France not long ago, but then only managed scoreless draws against Tunisia and Australia leading up to WC.

Lowly Japan actually managed a win against a decent non-Cup-Bound Paraguay side in their last match.  They haven’t tested themselves against the caliber of competition they’ll face here in Russia, and they didn’t perform well even against those teams by and large.

And there’s your water cooler chat-level mini-preview!   Now go, be free!  Dig deeper on the interwebs for more in-depth pre-game analysis.  Noob will.  But this is what we do here.   (8:00 AM Eastern, FS1)

RESULT:   Japan   1-2     But anything is possible when one team is down a man after just three minutes!   Colombia lost a man to a red card for a handball in the box.  Japan scored the ensuing penalty, gave up the lead, then reclaimed it in the second half.  

Senegal also upset Poland 1-2 today in this Group, so it’s going to be a wild one!

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B.  Crovan’s Gate vs. Brendam United – Isle of Sodor Premier

Welcome back to Group A.  One of the event’s favorites – Brendam Utd. lost by a bad 0-3 margin, even if it was to fellow future IoS Premier Leaguers Tidmouth Works.  We’ll see if that was a wake-up call and they put a hurting on Crovan’s Gate.

CG only lost their first Cup match by two, but it was to Toryreck – a qualifier that will be in the bottom division when leagues’ officially form and kick off in a few months.  And CG gave up five goals.  They’ll be playing in the middle of three domestic divisions.

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Here Noob comes!

 

 

Wednesday

  1. Iran vs. Spain – FIFA World Cup

Portugal and Spain played a match for the ages a few days ago, ending in a 3-3 draw.  Spain will be looking for three points here against the second-highest ranked Asian team (but FIFA-ranked just #37).  Iran got a surprising 1-0 win over Morocco.  Even a draw somehow today keeps them very much alive to advance.

This is an interesting matchup for a couple reasons style- and player-wise.   Diego Costa scored two goals for Spain against Portugal, but may not have room to operate against Iran – a tight defensively-oriented side.  A more creative player like Isco may be one to watch setting up unique opportunities in the front third.

Spain showed some defensive problems in that first match.  Some will argue that might help Iran.  But Iran is going to have trouble possessing the ball at all to try and score as Spain presses.

And there you have it, Noobites!  Water cooler chat-level mini-preview success.  Now go, be free!  Noob is out there reading more in-depth preview analysis and invites you to do likewise.   (2:00 PM, Fox)

RESULT:   Spain   0-1      Isco was your Man of the Match with his ball control, passing

  1. LAFC vs. Sacramento Republic – U.S. Open Cup

The second four matches of the Round of 16 in America’s FA Cup are all today.  This is the one that features the only non-MLS side remaining.

Sacramento Republic are out of the second division-USL.  They finished 8th in the Western Conference last year, just making the playoffs.  This season, they’re in a surprising third place– despite some offensive trouble.

MLS-expansion LAFC is all the way up in 3rd as well in their West.    They struggle on defense, but score like it’s going out of style.  It’s unfortunate for Sacramento the draw for home pitch didn’t go their way.  This may not be competitive.  But everyone loves a Minnow (non-top division underdog), so Noob’ll be pulling for ‘em!

RESULT:   LAFC   3-2     High drama!   Equalizer at 68′, then the go-ahead by aptly-named Latif Blessing at 89′.

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Boooooo.  BOOOOO!

  1. Vicarstown vs. Peel Godred – Isle of Sodor Cup

Hello from Barrow, England!  Look, Noob enjoys Vicarstown the town, but somehow being in Barrow just makes me feel more… real, somehow.  Grounded?  Maybe.  But I’ll be crossing the bridge from Cumbria to The Isle for this super duper Group H matchup!

Group favorite Peel scored a narrow victory over future-second division club Callan FC 2-1.  Now they hit the road to face Vicarstown, a team that is expected to finish at the bottom of the coming Premier League.  They were upset 1-2 at Elsbridge in their first match.

Given that the nature of football play on Sodor has been so loosely organized, it’s hard to handicap games here.  Things will be clearer after a couple years of formal league play, which starts in a few months.  They don’t formally gamble on Sodor, but Noob did throw down a few quid on V-town just because it’s home for them.  Another advantage to sleeping on the English side of Walney Channel.

RESULT:   Vicarstown   5-1          And just like an Iranian fan’s wallet did the fire-trick which he used to try and light a cigarette at his teams World Cup match against Argentina today, a women’s whole purse went up when in a similar incident outside the venue.  High drama!

  1. O’Higgins vs. Colchagua – Copa Chile

Now here’s a Minnow-match!

This is the Second Round of Chile’s FA Cup, the stage at which the 16 Premier teams enter the competition.  O’Higgins is a midtable club from that league.

Colchagua plays in the Segunda Division – the third tier of football in Chile – where they are #B in the table.  These two are from the same geographic area and are very much rivals.   The first match of this two-legged tie ended in a 1-1 draw.  Expecting Colchagua to manage as much and more on the road today is a lot.  But here’s to hoping!

RESULT:   Colchagua   0-0  /  5-6 pk      Somehow Noob had some wrong info on this one.  The first match had ended in a scoreless draw.  Still — Minnow success!

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Uh oh.

Don’t let the luck run out of that horseshoe, boys.

  1. KuPS vs. HJK – Finland Veikkausliga

The Finnish top flight is the lowest-ranked of the Nordic domestic leagues.  But hey– they’re playing!

When Noob first scouted and selected this match, it was a mighty #B/#1 matchup.  Since then, RoPS have overtaken KuPS for Bth place (boy do the Finns love their alphabet soup).  No matter.  Everyone is chasing defending champs HJK again this season.

KuPS lead the league in offense, but barely over HJK – which has the far superior defense.   If the pace is hot, KuPS can win a shootout today in front of the home fans.

RESULT:   2-2

Thursday

  1. Argentina vs. Croatia – FIFA World Cup

One of the bigger stories early on has been that Iceland managed a draw against Argentina in their first match.  The good news for Argentina:  They dominated Iceland statistically.  The bad news:  This continues a trend of not performing well in recent months against WC-level competition.  Friendlies are only that, but patterns are hard to ignore.  The #5-ranked team in the world should be doing better.

Croatia took care of business against Nigeria with a 2-0 win in their first game.  Any result here puts them in excellent position to advance.  Look for them to try and keep the game slow-paced.

Key players:  If you’re following football at all, you know Messi.  Even Noob and Noobites.  Veteran Luka Modric (who plays for Real Madrid) is the name to watch for with Croatia.  He plays midfield.

Additional note:  Croatia sent a team member home after he refused to come on as a sub in their first match.  Not the biggest controversy, but any distraction can obviously get magnified at World Cup.

RESULT:   Croatia   0-3    Argentina may be about to be out of contention to advance!   Modric salted this one away with a screamer from above the box to make it 0-2.  

The first goal happened when back-up goalkeeper Cabellero failed to clear a back pass, instead lofting a little pass, basically, to an opposing player who howled it in.

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Noob hopes this is exactly how that played out.

  1. Colo-Colo vs. Atletico Ñublense – Copa Chile

Not to make it about Noob, but if you don’t think I’m not rooting for Ñublense forever and ever just because of their club name pronunciation, you’re cray-cray.

More, they stunned the famed powerhouse Primera club 2-0 in the first match of this two-legged tie!    The Longaniza Mecánica are currently in 4th place in the second-tier Primera B.  The other teams right around them look stronger there (they struggle a bit on offense), making their progress in the Copa all the more awesome.

Colo-Colo have also had problems scoring goals in league this season.  The defending champions are in just 6th.  Still, they’re in different leagues for a reason.  Colo-Colo will win at home today.  The question is simply will they win by enough to advance to the bracketed stage next.

RESULT:    Colo Colo   2-1      And so it’s Noob-lense that advances, on aggregate 2-3!

  1. Norramby vs. Cabalnoo – Isle of Sodor Cup

Noob loves Norramby.  Reminds me of Bournemouth, which is a Noob-fave club.  Little resort town of sorts.  They’ll be playing in the inaugural second division of the three formally starting next year on Sodor.

Cablalnoo is a small village, pretty close to far larger Kirk Ronan.  They will play in the bottom division, played through qualifiers to get here.  They got a surprising 5-5 draw against their larger rivals in their first match!  Norramby played Dryaw to a scoreless draw.  They don’t play a lot of defense on Sodor, so this is the anti-double rainbow of footyball happenings here.

So, Group B is wide open.  Can little ‘Noo surprise with another result today?

RESULT:   Cabalnoo   5-10    A Sudric suprise for the soccer ages!   Norramby really need the two middle teams in Group B to have a draw in their upcoming match.

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So long from the IsleSound Cafe, Norramby!